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You are here: Home / Politics / Glibertarianism / It’s a Bad Man’s World

It’s a Bad Man’s World

by @heymistermix.com|  March 29, 20138:26 am| 55 Comments

This post is in: Glibertarianism

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Is it even a little bit surprising that North Dakota, the state with the most “overall freedom” according to the Koch-funded libertarian group Mercatus, just passed a law banning all abortions?

The data Mercatus used, as far as I can tell, are largely from 2011. But these laws wouldn’t do a thing to change’s North Dakota’s ranking, because Mercatus doesn’t take reproductive rights into account at all. In fact, no issues specifically related to women’s rights are taken into account. Same-sex marriage is included, but not housing employment anti-discrimination rules. They do weigh “‘smoker protection’ in employment,” though. (I think they are in favor of laws barring companies from firing smokers. Isn’t that the government interfering with the employer’s Freedoms?) There is also a list ranking the states in terms of friendliness to Bachelor Parties.

We’re talking about a movement which has as its bible a book featuring rapey sex, which has as its hero the broiest bro who ever bro’ed, Paul Ryan, and whose chief journalist is the Fonzi of Freedom. It’s no wonder that their rankings are more concerned about the ease of hiring strippers than the possibility of getting an abortion, or even getting Plan B from the local pharmacy.

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Reader Interactions

55Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    March 29, 2013 at 8:30 am

    Give them a break. They’re just unskewing the analysis.

  2. 2.

    Linda Featheringill

    March 29, 2013 at 8:34 am

    The real difference, ladies and gentleman, between now and 50 years ago is that mistermix is a man who is publicly bitching about the misogyny of that group.

    The sisters have more friends than we used to have.

    [Good for you, mistermix.]

  3. 3.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    March 29, 2013 at 8:37 am

    Libertarian: Free to be authoritarian.

  4. 4.

    Baud

    March 29, 2013 at 8:41 am

    Of course, the state with the greatest freedom ever was antebellum South Carolina. North Dakota is practically the U.S.S.R. compared to the good old days.

  5. 5.

    JPL

    March 29, 2013 at 8:45 am

    GA is number 5 in education. hahaha

  6. 6.

    Cermet

    March 29, 2013 at 8:47 am

    And we care about the Koch sucker brothers and the thug party of lie-beatarians? Next, North Dixie will mandate the use of anal probes on all unmarried woman and girls over twelve to prove/confirm their virgins … .

  7. 7.

    NonyNony

    March 29, 2013 at 8:47 am

    Also from the slate link:

    their [Mercatus’s] definition of “civil liberties” is “unrelated policies, such as fireworks laws, prostitution laws, and trans-fat bans.”

    Almost any Liberty issue that wouldn’t concern a straight, white, male capitalist is wholly ignored.

    Yup. They’re libertarians all right.

    “My right to be a drunken white guy setting off fireworks at 1am while eating as many Big Macs as I want SHALL NOT be infringed. Also prostitutes.”

    ETA: I love this bit from Pareene:

    . Koch industries co-owner David Koch, for the record, lives in New York City. Though I imagine he and his brother will soon pack up and relocate to sunny, free Grand Forks.

    New York, incidentally, is the second least-free state in the Union according to Mercatus. The least free is, of course, California.

  8. 8.

    reflectionephemeral

    March 29, 2013 at 8:50 am

    David Frum was talking about Mercatus the other day: “Wait, the Mercatus Center thinks taxing tobacco is an attack on freedom? freedominthe50states.org Is this a parody?”

    Cleek’s definition of conservatism is proven right, for the eleventy billionth time.

  9. 9.

    RaflW

    March 29, 2013 at 8:55 am

    What a surprise, libertarianism is a boys club of entitled white dickheads who want what they want when the want it, and anyone standing in the way of their narcissistic lifestyle is an enemy of freedom.

    Oh, and if they accidentally knock you up while living the perfect, Radian free life, they’ll tell you to f*ck off and go to a blue state to “take care of that.” Maybe they’ll give you bus fare. But don’t count on it.

  10. 10.

    Tokyokie

    March 29, 2013 at 8:56 am

    The freedom to be an utter asshole is the only freedom that matters.

  11. 11.

    Cassidy

    March 29, 2013 at 8:58 am

    We should give them the civil war they want so badly.

  12. 12.

    Punchy

    March 29, 2013 at 9:00 am

    Gallup has Mercatus up +6 over Obama for the 2016 elections

  13. 13.

    arguingwithsignposts

    March 29, 2013 at 9:05 am

    North Dakota is so free that nobody lives there.

  14. 14.

    geg6

    March 29, 2013 at 9:12 am

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    North Dakota is so free that nobody lives there.

    QFT.

  15. 15.

    mai naem

    March 29, 2013 at 9:20 am

    The Fonzi of Freedumb does not believe in abortion rights. He said he thought abortion was different and should be illegal when he was on Bill Maher last year. I personally think viagra should be illegal, just so that the Fonzi of Freedumb can’t get it. Dumbass.

  16. 16.

    gene108

    March 29, 2013 at 9:23 am

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    You can’t handle the FREEDOM!

  17. 17.

    Roger Moore

    March 29, 2013 at 9:27 am

    Freedom is Slavery!

  18. 18.

    Roger Moore

    March 29, 2013 at 9:29 am

    @NonyNony:

    New York, incidentally, is the second least-free state in the Union according to Mercatus. The least free is, of course, California.

    Isn’t it amazing how the states that have the least freedom are the ones that drive our national economy, while the ones with the most are a bunch of freeloaders. It’s almost as if the Koch’s idea of freedom is completely useless.

  19. 19.

    peach flavored shampoo

    March 29, 2013 at 9:32 am

    I’m surprised that a state full of nipped-out women could be so angry.

  20. 20.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    March 29, 2013 at 9:32 am

    Since glibertarianism is just feudalism with the glibtards playing lord of the manor, can we assume North Dakota is the most Feudal of the 50 states?

  21. 21.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    March 29, 2013 at 9:34 am

    @NonyNony:

    The least free is, of course, California.

    Damn straight! It’s a hellish gulag here. I advise all libertarians to stay far, far, away.

  22. 22.

    Chris

    March 29, 2013 at 9:44 am

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    I’m surprised it’s somewhere West not South…

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    Now, if only we could convince them that all of America is now a hellish Obammunist gulag and they should stay away…

  23. 23.

    Margarita

    March 29, 2013 at 9:48 am

    a movement which has as its bible a book featuring rapey sex

    In fairness, what bible doesn’t?

  24. 24.

    BGK

    March 29, 2013 at 9:51 am

    Pedantry, but didn’t the “Happy Days” character on whom Mr. Gillespie models his appearance spell his nickname “Fonzie?” I’ve always seen the “e” dropped in this context.

  25. 25.

    SatanicPanic

    March 29, 2013 at 9:54 am

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: We’re finally getting the state the way we want it. If that means libertarians don’t like it here that’s just icing on the cake.

  26. 26.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 29, 2013 at 9:56 am

    The Koch brothers define “freedom” in a different way most of us do. Their personal freedom to do whatever the fuck they want at the expense of everyone else is what they’re all about.

  27. 27.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 29, 2013 at 9:58 am

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Yes. Barbarian and backward. Like Somalia.

  28. 28.

    El Caganer

    March 29, 2013 at 10:02 am

    “Libertarians” must be fans of public banking, too, since North Dakota is currently the only state that has it.

  29. 29.

    Sly

    March 29, 2013 at 10:19 am

    Given who libertarians generally are, what type of “liberties” they care about is generally predictable.

  30. 30.

    lumpkin

    March 29, 2013 at 10:30 am

    Proud to say that my state (WA)is in the bottom half. There are some things we could change to get closer to #50 that would improve the quality of life here.

    Laughably, one of the recommendations from the Mercatus guys is to repeal the Shoreline Management Act. It is clearly a threat to our liberty: “The Act requires that “uses shall be preferred which are consistent with control of pollution and prevention of damage to the natural environment, or are unique to or dependent upon use of the states’ shorelines…”

    Give me pollution or give me death!! Wait – I can have both. Win Win!

  31. 31.

    RSA

    March 29, 2013 at 10:30 am

    @reflectionephemeral: Tellingly, Freedom from Tort Abuse (i.e., being able to run a business without fear of being sued) carries 20 times more weight than civil liberties–and the latter is the closest thing in their freedom index to freedom from being screwed over by the rich and powerful, even if it’s not that close.

  32. 32.

    catclub

    March 29, 2013 at 10:34 am

    @Cassidy: “We should give them the civil war they want so badly. ”

    Not even in jest. War is very bad. See the Tom and Daisy Never learned, posts.

  33. 33.

    catclub

    March 29, 2013 at 10:36 am

    @Margarita: The kama sutra?

  34. 34.

    danielx

    March 29, 2013 at 10:44 am

    Heh…my own fair state is making a Great Leap Forward under the enlighted leadership of Governor Mike Pence with a Republican supermajority in the statehouse. (Note: Pence is notable for being a dim bulb even by the low bar set for Indiana politicians.) Various blows for freedom and open government…

    The infamous double transvaginal ultrasound mandate. Hey, they’re enlightened, they’ve cut it back to just one! What is it with the Republican fascination with ladyparts? (Edit: and transvaginal ultrasounds – they just can’t help themselves, even if they start stuttering if they say the word ‘vagina’.)

    Criminalizing whistleblowers for filming abuse and misdeeds at factory farms. Because, hey, there’s proprietary information buried under the pigshit and submerged in the manure lagoons. Besides, chemicals and e. coli are good for you.

    Increasing penalties for marijuana possession and dealing. Because we don’t have enough people convicted of felonies for minor offenses. This is a Pence special, because he believes that the law should send a message that Indiana is tough on drug dealers. Those other places like Colorado and Washington, well, they’re just havens for commies and socialists and liberals and – worst of all – dirty fucking hippies. And we absolutely need more reasons for the police to arrest people.

    Garden variety corporate Republicans like Mitch Daniels look like fucking Karl Marx next to these dipshits. Voters here evidently wanted a Randian wonderland, so they voted said dipshits into office and they’re getting what they wanted, good and hard. Because freedom. And a pony.

    I can’t wait to see what else is going to transpire over the next four years here in Mississippi North.

  35. 35.

    Gaffa

    March 29, 2013 at 10:49 am

    As the only (very semi-regular) Balloon Juicer who lives in Grand Forks, North Dakota (that I know of), I gotta say that it’s a very interesting state, in both good and bad ways. One thing it’s not is very libertarian — our flavor of stupid up here runs much more towards Tea Party goons and religious wankery than anything else. But the main source of conservative evil up here is just simple greed. And it’s kind of refreshing, at least, that they don’t even try to hide it. Basically, up here it’s still John Birch old school, not Karl Rove dubstep.

    On the other hand, we’re also the only state with a state-run (and -owned) bank. And a state-run mill. Both of which all citizens of North Dakota own a share in. Socialism! Passed back in the Great Depression, of course, but you will not see a single grumpy Norwegian GOP farmer lifting a finger to do anything against them, because, well, they actually help. And it’s not socialism, they’ll tell you, because socialism is evil, and the State Mill is good.

    We’re the only state with no voter registration (are you a legal U.S. citizen? Show up to vote on election day! Voting is for everyone! Also — no primaries!). Cream of Wheat was invented within a mile of my apartment, for whatever that’s worth. My rent is $150/month; it’s an efficiency, but whatever.

    Anyway — my state. A bit more weird than you’d expect for being so empty.

  36. 36.

    Wag

    March 29, 2013 at 10:57 am

    I checked out my state’s status on the “Fredom List” and the first complaint was

    Policy Recommendations
    Reduce government spending on parks (a category that excludes conservation lands), where the state spends more than twice the national average. Allow TABOR (the Taxpayer’s Bill of Rights), as amended, to take full effect once more.

    To which I reply spending money on parks is a feature, not a bug. Hands off my Colorado.

  37. 37.

    handsmile

    March 29, 2013 at 11:04 am

    My response to Mercatus: “I wouldn’t live there if you paid me too.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dErdvJrv8JE

    Happy for the chains I’m forced to wear here in the urban hellhole. (And it seems more and more people keep moving here/visiting to experience all its fetters.)

    Only wish the Emperor’s large soda ban had been upheld, then we might have been even more enslaved than those wretched Californians.

  38. 38.

    Cassidy

    March 29, 2013 at 11:05 am

    @catclub:

    War is very bad.

    Heh.

    Here’s the unfortunate reality: we’re dealing with true believers, people hwo believe deep down inside that women, minorities, gays, etc. are less than people and should have less rights than everyone else and, in some cases, be flat out killed. They will stop at nothing, no level they won’t stoop to, no ethical lines they will not cross to get the lever of absolute power and enact their sociopathic quasi-religious fantasies on the rest of us.

    You don’t negotiate with a true believer. You can’t reason with one either. The best you can do is hold them at bay long enough knowing full well that whatever thye agree to today in reasonable fashion is bullshit and thye have no problem shitcanning it to further the cause. If we are not lucky enough for them to age out and die, then they are going to start shooting.

  39. 39.

    Joey Maloney

    March 29, 2013 at 11:26 am

    Is it even a little bit surprising that North Dakota, the state with the most “overall freedom” according to the Koch-funded libertarian group Mercatus, just passed a law banning all abortions?

    Brogressive, meet Librotarian.

  40. 40.

    ribber

    March 29, 2013 at 11:36 am

    I find Massachusetts being rank #1 for bachelor party freedom to be baffling. At first I thought the rank may be for least “freedom” for bachelor parties, but Nevada is #3. And supposedly it includes “fireworks” in the criteria.

  41. 41.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    March 29, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Libertarians don’t give a flying fuck about anyone’s liberty but their own. They’re just garden-variety Republicans who want their hookers and blow.

  42. 42.

    oldster

    March 29, 2013 at 11:52 am

    “the broiest bro who ever bro’ed, Paul Ryan”

    So awesomely bro, he ran a marathon in under three hours.

  43. 43.

    pdq

    March 29, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    “As the only (very semi-regular) Balloon Juicer who lives in Grand Forks, North Dakota (that I know of)…”

    @Gaffa:

    Huh. Don’t live in the state any more, but I was born in Grand Forks and lived there till I was 12, when we moved to Fargo. Then moved back for college. I just wrote a letter to the editor of the Fargo Forum (the newspaper there), basically saying “Arkansas, sure. South Dakota, yup. But _North_ Dakota? Really?” When I was there, it was conservative, but practical, not looney-tunes.

    I’m thinking that either things have changed, demographic-wise, in the last 30 years, or more likely, there’s just kind of a lash-back from the wingnuts over gay marriage and the world evolving in ways that makes them feel threatened, and they’re acting out, politically. Remember, this is the red state that had two Democratic senators, both of whom voted against the Iraq AUMF resolution. I think the dismayed wingnuts are overplaying their hand.

    The ND Republicans also put a referendum on the ballot for this fall defining personhood at conception. I think that’s likely to backfire and fail. At least, I hope so.

  44. 44.

    gocart mozart

    March 29, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    The tyranny of Connecticut

    Connecticut’s labor laws score poorly, with no right-to-work law, a high minimum wage, strict workers’ compensation regulations, and a law banning employers from charging smokers more for their health insurance. Health insurance freedom is quite low, with one of the highest benefit mandate costs in the entire nation (at 57.1 percent of a basic premium).

  45. 45.

    Southern Beale

    March 29, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    I wrote about North Dakota this week. I called it a “dystopian horror show” for women. Because in North Dakota, women are treated like objects. They’re dehumanized. Not just on the legislative level, but actually in North Dakota communities. This is what happens when you’re an oil-boom state drawing manly-men to do manly things. They start thinking they own everything, including women. And including women’s lady parts.

    Same as it ever was.

  46. 46.

    fuckwit

    March 29, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    Oh, FINALLY I get it!!

    It’s not “freedom” that they love so much, and will defend to the death, it’s PRIVILEGE!!

    There’s a huge difference between freedom and privilege. I’ve heard it said most succinctly, that freedom without equality is privilege (would love to know who to credit for that quote).

    That’s what the wingnuts are all on about: white male christian privilege.

    They are spoiled brats throwing a tantrum, really. Narcissists. They live in privilege, don’t care about anyone but themselves, and will do anything to preserve that privilege.

    And, it starts to make sense of the bullshit Bush spewed after 9/11 “they hate us for our freedom”. No, dumbass, that’s not true. They hate us for our PRIVILEGE, our arrogance. I read Bin Laden’s “letter to America” in November 2001. It was very clear: what he and his followers were so murderously angry about was our PRIVILEGE, our attitude of arrogance. He was very specific about it.

    It’s PRIVILEGE which oppresses people, and the ignorance of t which infuriates them. And that’s what I’m hearing from these white christian male wingnuts like the Koch’s: they are defending their own privilege.

  47. 47.

    Southern Beale

    March 29, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    Also, some North Dakotans didn’t like my post. They think everything is teh awesome in NoDak.

  48. 48.

    Southern Beale

    March 29, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    @fuckwit:

    It’s not “freedom” that they love so much, and will defend to the death, it’s PRIVILEGE!!

    DING! DING! DING! DING!

    Thank you for playing. You have won the jackpot!

  49. 49.

    frednash

    March 29, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    My neighbors here in mars school district

    Think north Dakota us better than pink

  50. 50.

    RyMaN600

    March 29, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    @fuckwit:

    Oh, FINALLY I get it!!
    It’s not “freedom” that they love so much, and will defend to the death, it’s PRIVILEGE!!

    Yup. You’re not free at all unless you’re free to shit all over as many people below you as you possibly can. Whether it’s the freedom to fuck your employees out of fair wages, health care and safety standards, or the freedom to be an utter dick and set off bottle rockets at 4am while banging prostitutes.

    Tokyokie said it best up at the top: “The freedom to be an utter asshole is the only freedom that matters.”

  51. 51.

    Green Eagle

    March 29, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    Of course, North Dakota was also listed in an annual survey last year as having the most corrupt State government in the United States. That’s what right wingers like- the “freedom” to be criminals themselves, as long as no one else can get away with it.

  52. 52.

    H-Bob

    March 29, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    One of my acquaintances who spent a winter in North Dakota said that there was nothing to do there but get drunk & screw fat chicks ! This has been (resentfully) confirmed by every other North Dakotan I’ve ever met.

  53. 53.

    Gaffa

    March 29, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    @H-Bob: Sounds like your friend went out of his way to be bored, then. As for fat chicks — I’d say our women are as thin or as fat as the rest of the nation.

  54. 54.

    mds

    March 29, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    @Gaffa:

    One thing it’s not is very libertarian — our flavor of stupid up here runs much more towards Tea Party goons and religious wankery than anything else. But the main source of conservative evil up here is just simple greed.

    You have to understand, though: there’s textbook libertarianism, and then there’s the dominant strain of American libertarianism. And the latter is pretty much a stew of Tea Party goons, religious wankery, and simple greed.

  55. 55.

    mclaren

    March 29, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    America’s new national anthem: “This world” by Clan of Xymox

    This world is not made for you and I

    It’s built on blood and a million lies

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