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You are here: Home / Here’s One Dick That Needs to be Covered Up

Here’s One Dick That Needs to be Covered Up

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It just never stops with these guys:

The lead scientist of a federally funded condom research study is firing back at Fox News commentator Sean Hannity and other conservatives after they charged that the $423,000 project was wasteful spending.

“I would tell Sean, if you look at the number of people who are affected by sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and unwanted pregnancies — there’s clearly a need for prevention intervention programs to be developed further and we need research like this to address problems that impact people’s health,” Erick Janssen, a senior scientist on an Indiana University study about condoms, told POLITICO.

“This is not a study for how to put on a condom,” he added. This is also not about why people might not like condoms. Everybody knows why people don’t like condoms. It’s more complicated than that.”

On Thursday Hannity joked about the study on his Fox News program and it was also noted by The Weekly Standard.

“Did you know that your paycheck was hit in order to fund a study on how to use condoms correctly? I don’t make this up. In Indiana University, they received that money as part of a stimulus grant and it cost you over $423,000,” Hannity said. “Oh, and surprisingly, it created zero jobs.”

Sounds like this guy needs a countertop inspection.

Reader Interactions

82Comments

  2. 2.

    Zifnab25

    All spending is wasteful spending. Unless its being spent on me. Then it is mine by right.

  3. 3.

    WereBear

    Har de har, basic science is such a waste of money!

    Don’t be needing any medical attention, Hannity… or use a smart phone… or make a living on television… or anything like that!

  4. 4.

    Fluke bucket

    I heard Hannity say that Obama got Osama using the plan designed by the Bush team. Hannity is weird in a Sandusky kind of way. He is a cold kind of evil.

  5. 5.

    Yutsano

    Hannity is a married Cathiolic. Last time I checked he didn’t have 20 kids. Y U HATE JEEBUS HANNITY??

  6. 6.

    bemused

    $423,000 for a 3 year study involving 10 researchers to find out how condoms can be made more effective sounds like money well spent to me.

  8. 8.

    Baud

    What an offensive use of taxpayer dollars. That’s money that could have been used for volcano monitoring.

  9. 9.

    beltane

    Well, if Mr. Hannity, Sr. knew how to use a condom correctly, we wouldn’t have to be subjected to the “thoughts” of his little mistake today.

  12. 12.

    beltane

    @Yutsano: Do not judge. Perhaps the Hannitys chose to enjoy the pleasures of a chaste marriage whatever such pleasures these may be.

  14. 14.

    Roger Moore

    @beltane:

    Perhaps the Hannitys chose to enjoy the pleasures of a chaste marriage whatever such pleasures these may be.

    Perhaps Mrs. Hannity chose a chaste marriage rather than the displeasure of intercourse with Mr. Hannity. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  15. 15.

    Scott S.

    Ebert dies. Carmine Infantino dies. Hannity, Limbaugh, Cheney live on and on and on and on.

    If there’s a god, he’s a piss-poor one.

  16. 16.

    Baud

    While Hannity is a dick, I hate this response (in any context):

    It’s more complicated than that.

  19. 19.

    Bubblegum Tate

    @Fluke bucket:

    Hannity is weird in a Sandusky kind of way. He is a cold kind of evil.

    Nah, he’s just incurious and obedient. He says what he’s told to say, and he gives not a moment’s thought to it.

  20. 20.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Sometimes the crazy shit that comes out of Hannity’s syphilitic brain can be ironic.

  22. 22.

    Yutsano

    @efgoldman: The positions close today, but I’m a primo piece of filet in a pit bull breeding farm. I might get snapped up really fast. I might get my choice of location too.

    @beltane: Maybe Sean goes with Rush on his Dominican rentboy junkets. It would be irresponsible not to speculate. And stuff.

  25. 25.

    David Koch

    I could never figure out how Howie Mandel became so popular in the 80s with the rubber glove over his head thingy.

  26. 26.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    I heard that Hannity once tried one of those boner pills to see if it would improve his performance.

    He decided that freezing his whole body for four hours wasn’t helping him.

  28. 28.

    Evolving Deep Southerner

    @David Koch: It was, if I recall, the same period when Gallagher was popular. The eighties are one of those time periods where all of us who were alive at the time need to agree to just never speak of it again.

  31. 31.

    El Cid

    Well, the first thing we need to do is pass a law that these scientists can’t use the term “vagina” when talking about the womenfolk’s funny business, because that would be completely impure.

  33. 33.

    Eric U.

    I would hate to have to defend my research under those conditions. If it’s easy to defend with a soundbite, it’s probably bullshit.

  34. 34.

    jl

    @El Cid: And use the number 3 for pi in all their calculations. I read someplace that the Bible says that pi equals 3 in the Old Testament in instructions for making some bowl or other for holy stuff.

    Anything but 3 is godless. And God will punish this Judeo-Christian nation if it allows godless infidel scientists to do whatever nonsense they want.

  35. 35.

    Hill Dweller

    OT: Is Chris Hayes’ new nightly show already circling the drain? He is now trailing CNN, Fox, and HLN(Nancy Grace) in the 25-54 demo ratings.

    Hayes’ horrible lead-in has also hurt Maddow’s ratings. Her show is MSNBC’s crown jewel. They’ll move mountains to protect it.

    If Maddow’s ratings continue to fall, I suspect they’ll make some changes to Hayes’ show. If that doesn’t work, Hayes could be gone.

  37. 37.

    El Cid

    @jl: Well, I wouldn’t want to be an extremist. An occasional use of a decimal, perhaps up to three, could be necessary, but only a gubmit byurokrap would want an infinitely non-repeating series, probly so they could just sit around all day collecting that big sweet gubmit cash while they just write down another decimal digit every few hours. Hmmmph.

  38. 38.

    Joel

    These fuckfaces are really ramping up their war on science. Well, fuck them.

    After Patricia Brennan took to Slate to defend her research, Fox News deleted an older story that praised her exact studies! But nothing is gone on the internet.

  39. 39.

    jl

    @El Cid:

    Well, buddy, I’ll be in the delightful heavenly clouds laughing at you godless heathen burnin’ like a bug on a hot rock down in hell, buddy.

    Decimals are the road to damnation.

    A true Judeo-Christian patriarch leader man would use 3, and if that don’t work, beat whatever it is until it minds, does as its told and follows the way of the LORD.

  41. 41.

    Baud

    @Hill Dweller:

    His weekend show is better. He talks to fast as it is, but I think he feels the need to talk even faster with the one hour format.

  42. 42.

    quannlace

    Hannity is weird in a Sandusky kind of way. He is a cold kind of evil.

    I don’t even give him that much credit. The man is just a perfect shill/tool. Whatever the Fox News meme is for the day, just wind him up and he’ll regurgitate, without the trouble of a single thought.

  43. 43.

    Eric U.

    @jl: the laws that say pi is three are similar to laws that say a dozen is 13. In any situation where you have to use pi to estimate something, 3 is the best number to use for the consumer. One easy example: how much rope is on a spool. It’s amazing how well it works for estimating, using 3.14 is basically pointless.

    Listening to hannity on the radio is excruciating. He sounds like he has be emasculated with a rusty knife. I can’t believe he actually made it on radio, it’s painful. Almost as bad as listening to Rush “dead air” Limbaugh. When I’m listening to limbaugh I just want him to say something instead of all that drug-induced silence. “Say something!!!”

  44. 44.

    Hill Dweller

    @The prophet Nostradumbass: I realize that, but Hayes’ ratings have become worse with each passing night. He is now trailing crazy Nancy Grace.

    If his show continues to hurt Maddow’s rating, they’ll dump Hayes in a hurry. Again, Maddow’s show is MSNBC’s crown jewel.

  48. 48.

    Xecky Gilchrist

    $423,000 would definitely be better spent funding 3 milliseconds of the Iraq invasion.

    (math may not be accurate but the scale is about right.)

  51. 51.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Eric U.: At one time when Rush was in the middle of his drug addiction crisis, there was a plan to dump Limpballs with the Baby Jesus (as Mike Malloy calls him.)As the #1 talker, that was before the rise of Glenn Beck.

  52. 52.

    dance around in your bones

    Jeez, give Chris Hayes a chance – not every show is a greyhound out of the gate. I like what I’ve been seeing so far.

    Far preferable than giving Hannity any gawdamn attention. THAT guy is such a clueless dick, no wonder he doesn’t know how to use a condom, or objects to studies about them. What a prick.

    No offense to any pricks or dick owners out there. I actually like them :)

  53. 53.

    jl

    @gnomedad:

    ” Geez, Cole, you couldn’t find a photo with an actual condom? ”

    And how, dear sir, would you know of Cole’s detailed requirements for a condom?

    Cole himself has admitted some of his ‘specs’ are unusual.

  54. 54.

    chopper

    oh noes! less than a hundred thousandth of a percent of the federal budget was spent on a study regarding the proper use of contraception!

    jesus, that’s like me complaining that i paid an extra nickle for my prescription.

  58. 58.

    Lurking Canadian

    @chopper: Actually, significantly nitpickier than that. It’s like you complaining about the value of the lint from your pocket that was stuck to the nickel.

  59. 59.

    22over7

    @jl:

    No worries. After the Indiana legislature tried to pass a law mandating that pi was in fact just three, nothing surprises me anymore.

  61. 61.

    El Cid

    @22over7: No, we’re debating the humorousness of jokes regarding various conservative anti-intellectual tropes, one of which has historically been an opposition to numbers they felt were suspiciously unnatural.

  62. 62.

    Yutsano

    @efgoldman: Around the country. One of the options is in ByGawd West Virginny! But from what I understand it’s right next to Wheeling.

    Another option is Albany. Which since the NYD is now a Yalie has its benefits.

  66. 66.

    NonyNony

    @Scott S.:

    Ebert dies. Carmine Infantino dies. Hannity, Limbaugh, Cheney live on and on and on and on. If there’s a god, he’s a piss-poor one.

    I think it’s more like if there is a god, he hates humanity.

    Perhaps Lovecraft was right all along.

  70. 70.

    22over7

    I’m sorry, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, Hannity. Maybe we should send him some pie.

    I’m thinking seriously about getting drunk tonight.

  71. 71.

    jl

    @gnomedad:

    Thanks for info. I did not know about the Babylon 5 Centauri.

    Sounds cool. But I’ll pass, since having to get to ‘sixth base’ to ‘go all the way’ sounds like kind of downer.

  72. 72.

    David Koch

    @Hill Dweller:

    Is Chris Hayes’ new nightly show already circling the drain? He is now trailing CNN, Fox, and HLN(Nancy Grace) in the 25-54 demo ratings.

    I saw that. They’ll give him a couple of weeks to see if he can turn it around and if not they’ll revamp the show, but when you lose an audience it’s hard to get it back, so they may have to just replace him altogether (they’ll probably put Lawrence back at 8PM to stem the bleeding and then develop someone new (Ari Melber/Krystal Ball would be good) in the 10 PM slot).

    I appreciate what he was trying to do, but weekend audiences are completely different than weeknight viewers. We’re a short attention span society, and we’re not going back to the David Suskind/Dick Cavett slow-long panel shows.

  73. 73.

    MikeJ

    @Eric U.:

    When I’m listening to limbaugh I just want him to say something instead of all that drug-induced silence. “Say something!!!”

    I had a job at a radio station where I flipped over to the network feed and then played the local spots during Rush. His show isn’t timed like a news show, so breaks can come any time. You have to listen for the bong. So I’d keep the monitors turned low, just sort of murmuring along. It would suck when the network was feeding dead air because I would always panic and assume I’d missed something, and of course I hadn’t. The network feeds their own spots or PSA so even if you miss a break you don’t get dead air from the network. The only time you ever do is when the host is an amateur.

    Anyway, those long pauses totally blew the rhythm of my crossword puzzles.

  75. 75.

    WA_Dave

    @Baud: The circumference would be Pi times twice the length of the slice of the pie.

    Unless your slice is one-half the pie.

    Just saying.

  77. 77.

    mclaren

    America’s teen birthrate is at a ten-year low — and still dropping. Research on condoms (how to make ’em easier to use, less prone to break, etc.) has a lot to do with that.

    So as usual, Hannity is just plain wrong. Flatly wrong. Completely wrong. 100% wrong. There are significant tangible benefits to condom research: lower teen pregnancy rates, meaning fewer women in poverty because teen pregnancy strongly correlates with women dropping out of the job markets, and single-parent mothers make up the bulk of the lowest-income quintile in America.

    If Hannity doesn’t like condom research, then he’s in favor of teen pregnancy, more poverty among women, more out-of-wedlock births.

  79. 79.

    WA_Dave

    Perhaps this research could lead to a reduction in STDs in the military?

    Why do you hate the troops, Sean?

    And actually I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what prompted the research.

  82. 82.

    Tokyokie

    @mclaren: And furthermore, it didn’t create “zero jobs,” it created work for Erick Janssen and his team. Of course, spread out over several years among several people, it would have merely been part-time, but, hey, it’s jobs.

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