I never met Roger Ebert. (I know, it’s astonishing to me too.)
And yet, I spent so much time with him over the years that he feels like a dear friend. I know what he thought about so many things – not just about movies, but about war, and justice and fairness, the joy of life and love, and the pain of illness. He shared himself with us, his life and that wonderful brain, his wonderful words, so finely crafted.
He was my friend, our friend, even if we never spoke, never met. He was a gentleman, and I am very glad that his ending too was gentle.
I could link you to something fine that Roger wrote about the art of film, and its capacity to elevate us all, but fuck that frankly. Instead, I’ll follow the suggestion of Gordon, the Big Express Engine, in Cole’s lovely Roger Ebert thread, and link you to Roger’s review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, which makes me laugh like a drain. Go read the whole thing. To the very end, mind you.
Cheers, Roger.
“Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo” makes a living cleaning fish tanks and occasionally prostituting himself. How much he charges I’m not sure, but the price is worth it if it keeps him off the streets and out of another movie. “Deuce Bigalow” is aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience. The best thing about it is that it runs for only 75 minutes.
Rob Schneider is back, playing a male prostitute (or, as the movie reminds us dozens of times, a “man whore”). He is not a gay hustler, but specializes in pleasuring women, although the movie’s closest thing to a sex scene is when he wears diapers on orders from a giantess. Oh, and he goes to dinner with a woman with a laryngectomy, who sprays wine on him through her neck vent.
The plot: Deuce visits his friend T.J. Hicks (Eddie Griffin) in Amsterdam, where T.J. is a pimp specializing in man-whores. Business is bad, because a serial killer is murdering male prostitutes, and so Deuce acts as a decoy to entrap the killer. In his investigation he encounters a woman with a penis for a nose. You don’t want to know what happens when she sneezes.
Does this sound like a movie you want to see? It sounds to me like a movie that Columbia Pictures and the film’s producers (Glenn S. Gainor, Jack Giarraputo, Tom McNulty, Nathan Talbert Reimann, Adam Sandler and John Schneider) should be discussing in long, sad conversations with their inner child.
— Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, by Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun Times, August 12, 2005
Photo by Omar Moore
Xenos
The punch line for that review, at the very end, is a killer.
some guy
Tell Obama to fuck off, we do not want cuts to Social Security.
Cassidy
Light spamming to spread the word. The girls deserve to get paid.
Invicta FC 5 is taking place tonight and can be bought for $9.95. Invicta FC is the all female organization and tonights card features 14 total fights inlcuding Sarah Kaufmann (former Strikeforce Champ), Chris “Cyborg” Santos (former Strikeforce Champ), “Karate Hottie” Michelle Watterson, Julia Budd, and rising fan favorite “Rowdy” Bec Hyatt. Also, on the undercard, is Rose Namajunas, another rising star.
If you’re interested in combat sports at all, tonight is going to be a great night of fighting from some very talented women.
Xenos
@some guy: Firebagger, please.
Chyron HR
@some guy:
“This time there’s really a wolf coming, I promise! Not like all the other times I was making it up, really!”
Sarah, Proud and Tall
@Cassidy:
Spam away to your heart’s content, dear.
amk
@Chyron HR: Did calamity jane shut down her site?
Omnes Omnibus
Is the new pope going to sic the Inquisition on sex abuse?
Blake Suttle
My favorite may be his review of M. Night. S.’s The Village. Worth a google.
Patricia Kayden
@some guy: Tell all our Dem Congressmen/women to block any moves to cut Social Security. That will stop President Obama cold. Not sure why he’s doing this.
Lee
Just wanted to let you know about a turn of events in the worker’s paradise of Texas.
The multi-national company I work for just reduced the maximum number of accrued paid time off hours by a third. From 336 to 224 (yes I know 336 is staggeringly high).
But here is the kicker…this is for all employees except for those in California. Apparently the work force laws there protect against this sort of thing (I have no idea they what/why on that).
My wing-nut boss (who is also affected) sees nothing wrong with this.
Chris
Since it’s an open thread, anyone read about the girl from Pittsburgh who got rejected by every Ivy League school and wrote a whiny article about how it’s because she wasn’t black or gay or didn’t do volunteer work to make herself interesting? Apparently was encouraged to do so by a relative at the WSJ and has gotten job and internship offers since – I smell a lifetime of wingnut welfare in the works.
Comrade Jake
I did not see that particular film.
Interesting that Sandler is a producer. Is is just me or has most of everything that guy’s done of late been epically bad? I know some people love the guy but his humor just doesn’t resonate with me.
Lee
@Comrade Jake: IIRC, rumor had it that he made that movie as a favor to his friend Schieder who at the time did not have steady work and needed the income.
Cassidy
@Comrade Jake: Sandler is big on spreading his wealth. He’s produced a lot of movies for his circle of friends/ comedians.
Blake Suttle
From another Ebert classic:
“Dice Rules is one of the most appalling movies I have ever seen. It could not be more damaging to the career of Andrew Dice Clay if it had been made as a documentary by someone who hated him.”
Higgs Boson's Mate
Jeff Skilling may get an early release from prison. Excerpt from the notice that DoJ sent to victims on Thursday:
“The Department of Justice is considering entering into a sentencing agreement with the defendant in this matter,” the notice reads. “Such a sentencing agreement could restrict the parties and the Court from recommending, arguing for, or imposing certain sentences or conditions of confinement. It could also restrict the parties from challenging certain issues on appeal, including the sentence ultimately imposed by the Court at a future sentencing hearing.”
link
YellowJournalism
One of my favorites:
“A lot of bad movies are fairly throbbing with life. ‘Mannequin’ is dead. The wake lasts 1 1/2 hours, and then we can leave the theater.”
Confession: I have loved the movie “Mannequin” since I first saw it as a kid. It has one of my favorite fantasies woven into it: to be locked in a mall or department store and be able to do whatever I want. (Plus it has the perfect example of a cheesy music montage.) It’s kind of why I also love “Career Opportunities.” But I still love that review because of the humor and the way Ebert promotes the better work of the actors involved.
Southern Beale
RIP, Roger Ebert. He will be missed.
For those wanting some good news after the downer that opened this open thread, check out Good News Friday.
elmo
@Lee:
California requires that all earned benefits be paid, and benefits are earned for every day worked. So you can’t, for example, have a policy where vacation benefits vest at the end of a year of service and can be forfeited if you leave before a year’s time. California law doesn’t allow it.
So your California folks who have already earned 336 hours can’t lose it. I am not as certain about folks who haven’t yet earned more than 224 hours; there shouldn’t be any problem with capping their accrual.
Lee
@elmo:
I was guessing it was something like that. Although the announcement states that the 336 max is in effect for all CA regardless of the amount they have accrued.
My other thought was that the job market in CA for programmers (which is that we have there) is tight enough they realized they would lose too many if they implemented this policy in CA.
Lee
@Lee:
Forgot the:
Thanks for the info!
jon
You’d think conservatives would be dancing in the streets after a Federal judge overrules a politically-motivated Obama-appointee’s decision. But nooooooooooo!
kc
Deuce Bigalow cracked me up. I have terrible taste.
Cacti
Two more conservadem Senators have come out in favor of marriage equality. Heidi Heitkamp of North Dakota and Joe Donnelly of Indiana.
That puts the Dem caucus at 51 of 55.
The one true progressive Rand Paul still has yet to announce his support.
Cassidy
@kc: I liked the first one. It was stupid and absurd, but funny. The second one just seemed limp, like they were doing the sequel just to cash in. I like most of Sandler’s movies.
jon
@jon: Also, too: too the judge was appointed by… Ronald Reagan!
Bob2
http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2012/07/roger_loves_chaz.html
Leaving this here from his memoir.
AxelFoley
@some guy:
Firedog Lake is that way, muthafucka —>
maya
Adam Sandler’s entire career has been to emulate the saddle in Blazing Saddles.
Suffern ACE
@Chris: Her criticism was “I was told to be myself, but that was a lie.” No shit sherlock. According to her black kids and gays can be themselves and get special credit, but what’s an upper class white girl to do if she’s not interested in charity work. Oh it’s just so unfair.
Note to kiddies: it is not true that we want you to be yourself. We want you to show some kind of improvement and be better than you currently are. That includes kids who think that they are already “the best” and therefore shouldn’t have to strive for anything.
Jebediah
@Suffern ACE:
In my opinion, an upper-class white kid with zero interest in charity is an asshole.
Jasmine Bleach
Well, as mentioned before, it looks like Obama is writing Social Security CPI and a $400 million cut to Medicare into his budget proposal! Not just Firedoglake, but DailyKos is reporting it as well.
If true, I’d just like to tell all those fine corporatists here who say inane stuff like “firebagger go that way . . .” that this is entirely on YOU who voted for the guy, effers! Congratulations to you! I told you this would happen, and IT DID! It must really gall you that I speak truth, even if you want to ignore it.
And it’s a great idea because, you know, austerity is working so well in Europe, and there weren’t supremely easy ways to make social security solvent in a non-destructive way like eliminating the payroll tax cap.
Oh, and at the same time handing the Rethuglicans a humongous stick with which to beat Democrats over the head with in the 2014 elections! Brilliant! I really think you all WANT the House and Senate to move to permanent Repuglican status. Because don’t listen to us “purity trolls” because we don’t know how to “win” elections.
Dumbasses.
I really hope congress has the stones to shoot this down. But then again, when was the last time congress had any stones . . .
cckids
@Jebediah:
This. Speaking as a parent of 2 college-agers, how is it possible that there is NO charity you are interested in? FFS, go pet/socialize kitties & bunnies at the local shelter. Take a group of other upper-class white Girl Scouts on a hike. It isn’t hard, you just have to be oh-so-slightly not entirely self-centered.
Joey Maloney
@Jasmine Bleach: By golly, yes, it’s entirely our fault! If only we had voted for Romney instead…something something something President Stein.
Yutsano
@Jasmine Bleach: When the true progressives present an electable alternative, I’ll listen. Until then, it was Barack or Willard. Not even close to a tough choice for me.
Ruckus
@Yutsano:
Isn’t it supposed to be “Always select the worst of the two choices”? You know like, “Buy high and sell low”, “Let a cut bleed, leeches, leeches!”
Gross stupidity is always the first choice of some. Or maybe the only choice.
Another Halocene Human
@Omnes Omnibus: If Francis is going to pull a John XXIII on them, then fuck yeah. Even though I am a confirmed atheist now.
Btw, is that Gordon as in Thomas the Tank Engine? I thought Ringo was better than Carlin. At being Mr. Conductor, not at anything else, mind.
Another Halocene Human
@Lee: But here is the kicker…this is for all employees except for those in California. Apparently the work force laws there protect against this sort of thing (I have no idea they what/why on that).
CA is a strong union state, and they’ve also passed protections for non-union workers. Unilaterally changing your pay (and this is to do with pay) is a bait and switch for you as a worker. How can they bring you in, entice you to spend years at the company you could have spent elsewhere, and then yank away the pay that was agreed to?
And then consider this x10 when companies and municipalities want to take pensions away.
Just goes to show unions should have been responsible for the pensions from day one. The tax laws don’t favor it, but they should have petitioned to get that altered, too. Relying on employers is a fucking fool’s game.
And gov’t should mandate sick/vacation time. God knows employers large/small can’t be trusted to do so.
Another Halocene Human
@Cassidy: What I don’t get is why he keeps getting away with producing movies to enrich his friends (what a mensch!) that suck so incredibly hard. What happened to the discipline of the market and the genius of capitalism? Who is watching this crap and making it profitable? Ugh.
/and I liked “Little Nicky”, so sue me haterz
Cassidy
@Another Halocene Human: He hasn’t made a movie like that in a long time, though. Duece Bigalow: Male Gigolo was the first Happy Madison Production. For me, looking at the list of movies they/ he’s made, I’ve seen most of them and been entertained.
I like that he’s a loyal guy. He is personally invested in helping “his people” be as successful as him.
Another Halocene Human
@Suffern ACE: Her criticism was “I was told to be myself, but that was a lie.” No shit sherlock. According to her black kids and gays can be themselves and get special credit, but what’s an upper class white girl to do if she’s not interested in charity work. Oh it’s just so unfair.
The upper class kids I grew up with were organizing their own fucking charities in junior high! That’s what she’s competing against, the lazy loser.
Unlike that idjit, I was personal friends with kids who got into Harvard, MIT, and Swarthmore (white and otherwise) and guess what, they all had better grades than me and had done really well on a certain area of focus and they had better social skills than me (at least marginally) which probably translated to better essay/interview. Harvard, esp, you had to be a super-genius in a certain focus area. (I was doing all different kinds of things, all pretty well, which is not “leadership” as Harvard admissions sees it.) My friend who got into MIT was better organized and a better student, period. I probably would have washed out like so many MIT freshmen do. I got into some pretty good schools but not top of the top. And it makes sense. I didn’t show good skills at organizing shit or making it happen. I’m still bad at that stuff, which sucks because I’m trying to build a union. :(
I have to say I envy the sorority girls now because one thing they learn is how to organize the shit out of events. I tried to do stuff like that in college clubs and nobody ever showed up. Wah.
Harvard can pick and choose, and hell, make that all Ivy Leagues because there is a bigger pool than when I was applying and all the schools are pickier now. Why wouldn’t they go for the kid who started a charity, or organized something at their school that it didn’t have, or stuff like that? So like an inner city kid might start doing political lobbying to get the city to improve their school. A rich kid might raise money for $insert_cause. Both take a vision and the drive and organization and people skills to realize that vision. And the character to put in that kind of effort for others.
So fuck that girl.
Another Halocene Human
@Cassidy:
I like that he’s a loyal guy. He is personally invested in helping “his people” be as successful as him.
And I think that goes a long way in Hollywood and explains his success.
Can’t figure out why an audience would want to watch something like Jack and Jill, though. Even the trailer was offensive. And those who watched it said it was one product placement after another.
Cassidy
@Another Halocene Human: I haven’t seen that one. The last HM Production I saw was Here Comes the Boom, which really was fun to watch and even tearjerker sweet at the end. And I’ll admit that some of my favorite movies are HM Productions.
West of the Rockies
I’ve never seen the Schneider movie in question; his success to me is a cosmic injustice. IMO, he is wildly un-funny, bland in appearance (to put it kindly), and uncharismatic — and yet he’s made a load of cash. The movie in question sounds horrid — I think I’d feel a bit ashamed if I saw it.
Jebediah
Since this is an open thread:
For anyone who has been following the rescuing-Lucy saga – apparently her surgery today went well. Along with stitching up her wound and removing necrotized tissue, several cysts were removed, and pathology reports on them should be back early next week.
They are still looking for a temporary foster – Hal, the mensch who had stepped up to foster her, has a dog and Lucy will need several days of quarantine and rest so they need to find a foster without another dog. I assume that means that Hal will still be able to foster her after the quarantine. The rescue organization now affiliated with Lucy is Much Love. They have a facebook page but I don’t know how often it is updated.
I will let you all* know of anything else I find out between now and the next Lucy-bleg post, which might be several days or more depending on what happens with quarantine/foster/oncology results etc.
*Even people not in the clique.
hal
What’s the big deal he was goddamn film critic. And not the best.
dance around in your bones
@Jebediah:
That’s good news. I commend you for updating even those not in the clique ;)
Jebediah
@dance around in your bones:
Mighty big of me, eh?
I think I might even go one bigger and follow the lead of another commenter (Bubba Tate? apologies if I am remembering wrong) and, if we find out Lucy doesn’t need our donations, go head and donate my pledged amount anyway and not give a good god-damn where it ends up going. It always ends up being a worthy cause/critter.
Patricia Kayden
@Cassidy: As to Rob Schneider, THE HOT CHICK was pretty funny. But most Adam Sandler films are no go zones for me. I just don’t get his brand of humor.
Randy P
@hal: What are the criteria for “best”? People liked his writing. What’s wrong with that?
I used to like Tom Shales (WaPo TV critic) for the particularly snide way he’d attack bad stuff. Perhaps most people like their favorite critics for the same reason, an amusing way to describe bad stuff.
Fax Paladin
What was particularly beautiful about that review was that it was in defense of a colleague. “Oh, full-page ads in Daily Variety? How… *quaint*…”
Just Some Fuckhead
@AxelFoley: You Obots don’t know yer left from yer right.
<— Firedoglake is that way.
Cassidy
@Patricia Kayden: I liked Benchwarmers a lot. I’m a sucker for an underdog movie.
Jebediah
@Jebediah:
OK, there is a Bubblegum Tate and a Bubba Dave and I got confused. This blog has a lot of siminyms.
dance around in your bones
@Jebediah: How about Redshirt and Redshift? Hunh? Hunh?
I like the idea of a a pet rescue slush fund.
Jebediah
@dance around in your bones:
Those have to be closest…only one letter different!
But I mostly want to claim coinage of “siminyms” and collect clique cred.
dance around in your bones
@Jebediah:
It’s a great term and I hereby bestow upon you Clique Cred. Not that I’m in anyway qualified to do so, but there ya go.
Jebediah
@dance around in your bones:
Thank you!
The Raven on the Hill
Education:
Coverage at BoingBoing, with links to more coverage, and PR-flack defense.
Cenforce 100 Side Effects
how does aisha suddenly poverty to use ‘favors’?? she old to feature chaste values n? each that be4 right??? WTF is up wid this appear?