Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I was confident that someone would point it out and thought why not me.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

He really is that stupid.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

… among the most cringeworthy communications in the history of the alphabet!

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

This fight is for everything.

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

Come on, man.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Let’s finish the job.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Republicans don’t trust women.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

No Justins, No Peace

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / Springtime for Kitler

Springtime for Kitler

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Stopped by Zsa Zsa’s new place and she is doing very, very well. Even sniffing on Busy, the 14 year old dog, and basically just loving on her new owners. Very happy I made the decision and then pulled the trigger and gave her to a better home for her.

In other news, we’re a few weeks away before I have to start spraying fat boy’s ears with SPF, but for now he is having fun:

tunchspring

spring2

Those of you from Myrtle Beach and the Redneck Riviera in Florida will recognize my footwear of ankle socks and flip flops as what we call it in the local vernacular- “Redneck Fancy.”

And yes, the hair will grow back on my legs in the next couple of weeks.

Reader Interactions

141Comments

  3. 3.

    jl

    Thanks for pet pic of Fatboy.

    The second pic is somewhat disturbing, maybe like some pic I would see at an Arbus exhibition. One from which I would stroll away quickly, afraid to find out if there were some ‘story’ behind it.

    But it is an educational graphic, so, let it go. I had no idea what ‘Redneck Fancy’ meant, or that such a phrase existed. Thanks.

  6. 6.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    Tunchie!

    Who took the pics? They’re not blurry.

    You visited Zsa Zsa and didn’t bring us pictures?

  7. 7.

    PsiFighter37

    Nice legs, Cole.

    On another note, I haven’t mentioned this in a while, but any Los Angelenos-area folks down for a BJ meetup on May 10th or 11th in the evening? I’ll be out in the area and would enjoy meeting up with folks at a local eatery (and a beer or two may have to be involved as well).

    If you are interested, just shoot me an email at [email protected]. Also, too, just let me know here, since I rarely check that email address nowadays.

  8. 8.

    ruviana

    You visited ZsaZsa and we have no pix? I haz a sad.

    ETA: Sister Rail Gun and I must have posted simultaneously.

  10. 10.

    Joshua Norton

    Dude, if anyone ever brings up that old “Is Cole gay?” stuff again, just show them that picture of your footwear. They’ll never ask again.

  11. 11.

    jl

    @LT:

    ” Clearly Tunch ate Zsa Zsa. ”

    Tunch is really a ‘possum on steroids. Everyone knows this but BJ commenters are discreet people who exercise utmost discretion.

    Daily Caller has been trying to break the story for years, but Tunch being a neutered ‘possum on steroids cat, has no interest in the Daily Caller ‘informants’.

  13. 13.

    dance around in your bones

    ‘Redneck Fancy’ made me laugh out loud.

    Yet another embarrassing ‘why is Nonny laughing all by herself in her bedroom?’ moment.

    @Joshua Norton: Ok, double Nonny haha in her room.

  15. 15.

    jl

    @Josie:

    ” Those feet are definitely en pointe. ”

    Yeah, see, some kind of Arbus action going been down re Cole household, and I don’t want to know.

    Now, Cole and Tunch in tutus, I could handle that. But keep the feets and the ballet slippers out of it.

  17. 17.

    TaMara (BHF)

    Tunch, Tunch, Tunch!

    Good to see the cutie pie. He’s not fat people, he’s FLOOFY! Don’t make me come in there…

    And I don’t know about you guys, but I could’ve done without the Cole cheesecake shot.

  18. 18.

    Amir Khalid

    No Zsa Zsa pix? I haz a sad too.

    Thia Salon story implies that the widespread and deeply-felt hatred of Margaret Thatcher among Britons — people held impromptu street parties to mark her death — is just pranksters having their fun.

  19. 19.

    jl

    @LT:

    ” You must have seen the ferret story… ”

    I was one of the commenters who posted it earlier this week.

    Tunch could also be a lemur on steroids. He outsmarts… well, let’s just say, it would fit various stories we’ve read here.

    Tunch, ‘possum on steroids or lemur on steroids?
    When will Cole tell the truth?

  20. 20.

    muddy

    Genius idea! But not the right artist, wrong style. Oh no I’m inspired myself! You may have started something.

  21. 21.

    Violet

    You shaved your legs? Taking up cycling or swimming?

    Love the picture of Tunch. Are you sure he didn’t swallow Zsa Zsa?

  23. 23.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @ Cole @ top: Why provide photographic evidence of that footwear choice? Have you no concept of shame?

    @LT: I’ve been saying that for a while now. I am glad that all of you sheeple are waking up.

  25. 25.

    jl

    @Narcissus:

    ” You shaved your legs? ”

    See? This is gonna get weird. Probably not fit for a wholesome mommy / family fun blog like Balloon-Juice.

    Edit: And Tunch is ‘floofy’ like a few thousand pounds of windslab snow rolling down the ridge right now right at you is floofy. IMHO, of course.

  26. 26.

    LT

    @Omnes Omnibus: I haven’t been paying close enough attention. My bad.

    (And I sent Cole a photo as evidence of this theory. No way he has the integrity to post it!)

  27. 27.

    Violet

    @Joshua Norton:

    Dude, if anyone ever brings up that old “Is Cole gay?” stuff again, just show them that picture of your footwear. They’ll never ask again.

    A friend of mine who is gay wears very similar footwear, when he wears footwear at all. He’d rather go barefoot. Not sure the footwear is the right tool by which to measure gayness.

  30. 30.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Narcissus: Some people just aren’t very furry. It could be a sign of a more advanced evolutionary state or it could be the result of a household accident. It varies from person to person.

  32. 32.

    Mnemosyne

    @Violet:

    A friend of mine who is gay wears very similar footwear, when he wears footwear at all. He’d rather go barefoot. Not sure the footwear is the right tool by which to measure gayness.

    It’s not the flip-flops. It’s the socks+flip-flops combination that screams “not gay!”

    If your friend wears sweat socks with his slides the way Cole does, I’m afraid I must doubt your claim that he’s gay.

  34. 34.

    Roger Moore

    @ruviana:

    You visited ZsaZsa and we have no pix? I haz a sad.

    Given Cole’s camera skills (or lack thereof) the picture of Zsa Zsa would likely be nothing but a cat-colored blur. Tunch’s immobility makes him a more inviting target.

  37. 37.

    Roger Moore

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    It could be a sign of a more advanced evolutionary state or it could be the result of a household accident

    Given who you’re talking about, “household accident” seems like a likely explanation for anything. I assume the reason he’s wearing flip-flops is to avoid the risk of a cripling shoe tying accident.

  38. 38.

    Ted & Hellen

    @Joshua Norton:

    Dude, if anyone ever brings up that old “Is Cole gay?” stuff again, just show them that picture of your footwear. They’ll never ask again.

    Except, come on…look at the way he has his toesies pointed just ever so and what the fuck is with the shaved legs? Cole is a freak.

  39. 39.

    YellowJournalism

    That footwear and that fat body (Tunch’s) remind me of a certain scene from One Crazy Summer that involved a guy buried in sand, a can of chili, and some CCR.

  41. 41.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Roger Moore:

    I assume the reason he’s wearing flip-flops is to avoid the risk of a cripling shoe tying accident.

    probably, but imagine the accidents that can result from the present footwear choice…

  48. 48.

    dance around in your bones

    @Violet:

    Yeah, socks and slides. Definitely gay–in a long term relationship with a man.

    Or some old retiree in Florida.

    Ya know what? As I get older, I don’t give a fuck, I just want to be comfortable. Now, Cole is about the age of my kid, but perhaps he’s just ‘maturing’ faster. Let’s get comfy!

    Someone talked here the other day about her kids giving her an ultimatum about wearing Crocs (“we’ll never appear with you in public again!”)and I thought, shit, that’s all I’ve been wearing for years. They’re comfy!

    @Yutsano: Ya think Cole’s leg hairs taste like ahi? I wouldn’t be surprised.

  52. 52.

    Fluke bucket

    And yes, the hair will grow back on my legs in the next couple of weeks.

    Do you put on hair in the spring?

  58. 58.

    Ted & Hellen

    @Redshirt:

    Maybe Timmeh can paint that second photo for you in the style of W.

    I COULD! I COULD! I could definitely do that!

  60. 60.

    Ted & Hellen

    @John Cole:

    I didn’t shave my fucking legs they just go bald every winter when the hair gets rubbed off by long pants.

    HA! Spare me…

  63. 63.

    LT

    Oh dammit, Cole, I sent you a pic – the FUNNIEST PIC EVER – and I just got a bounce-back msg. Is your email address not right? (Or am I an idiot and you blocked me? Don’t think I’ve ever emailed you before. Once?)

  64. 64.

    Ted & Hellen

    John, you have gorgeous gams. OWN the shaving. You’ve nothing to be ashamed of.

  67. 67.

    Violet

    @Mnemosyne: More the ankle height workout socks than the mid-calf or knee high socks. Yes, he’s over 50, but only just and he was doing this well before he turned 50.

    Most people don’t guess he’s gay, but once you get to know him, there are a few things that might make you wonder (love of old musicals). His choice of attire is not going to give much away.

  72. 72.

    Violet

    @John Cole: You need to figure out how to market that to women. That sort of thing doesn’t seem to happen to women. Gotta shave or wax or whatever all year round.

  73. 73.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    U.S. and Canada tied at 2 early in the third period in the gold medal game of the world championships.

  76. 76.

    dance around in your bones

    @Yutsano:

    I have absolutely zero experience in this matter. But I bet Ladyfriend could tell us.

    Oh, Ladyfriend, DO tell!

    Wait….maybe not.

  79. 79.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Why is Mother Nature so mad, but don’t gimme any of your high falutin’ “science” talk

    WASHINGTON — Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kan.) took to the Senate floor Tuesday to lament the need for crop insurance, pointing out that extreme weather has battered the nation in recent years. He cited historic drought and floods in the Midwest and Superstorm Sandy in the East.
    […]“I don’t know what we’ve done to Mother Nature, but she sure hasn’t been very kind to us,” Roberts said.
    […]The senator has previously acknowledged that the globe is warming, but declared he didn’t know what it meant, saying of the science that connects greenhouse gases to climate change: “A lot of this is condescending elitism.”

  80. 80.

    ? Martin

    Just a reminder that not every state is going bugnut crazy over repealing abortion rights.

    Assembly Bill 154, by Democratic Assemblywoman Toni Atkins of San Diego, authorizes nurse practitioners, certified nurse midwives, and physician assistants who undergo training to conduct aspiration abortions, a procedure that uses a suction method to remove a fetus early in a pregnancy.
    …
    “The goal is to ensure that there are providers, qualified and trained, throughout every county in the state,” Atkins said.

    We’re a big blue state. Come on over.

  81. 81.

    dance around in your bones

    @raven: Wow, I never knew that. I only thought that it meant ‘really expensive sushi grade tuna which my son-in-law cooks really well, rolled in panko and sesame seed’.

    I mean, it costs an arm and a leg where I live. And that’s right on the west coast.

  84. 84.

    Mike E

    Ha, the 2nd photo is IN focus, because the legs are extended. All it takes is proper form!

  85. 85.

    beltane

    @muddy: I have a fat black cat. He looks very much like Cole’s childhood cat Mr. Puff-Puff but with Tunch’s physique. He’s a real sweetheart but definitely an alpha male-if he wants to be pet he will swat at you until you comply with his wishes.

  88. 88.

    Mnemosyne

    @Violet:

    I would say I’m shocked, but then I remember some of the outfits I’ve seen my brother-in-law wear and … yeah.

  89. 89.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Amir Khalid: Wow. So many pranksters. And boy are they having fun. I knew she wasn’t a popular person but am kind of surprised at the out and out hatred. Oh well. When you live foul, this is how you’re remembered.

  94. 94.

    lojasmo

    @John Cole:

    You wear long pants in the winter?

    Seriously, I can count the number of days I wore long pants this last winter on two hands (at most)

    I live in Minnesota, for fucksake.

  95. 95.

    dance around in your bones

    @raven: Oh mah gah, that looks deliciososo.

    My son-in-law sears it quickly with the panko and sesame seed, so the inside is still pink and soft. With wasabi and soy, it’s a dream.

    @Gin & Tonic: See above ^. It’s barely cooked.

  96. 96.

    raven

    @Gin & Tonic: That is my skeleltonized redfish skull. I’ve been working on it since December and now have the bones covered in ladies hair lightener to whiten them. What I didn’t know was that reds have teeth in their throat called Pharyngeal teeth. You can see them next to the skull cap itself on the far left. I was going to try to reconstruct it but with the discovery of those teeth in the flesh eating beetles aquarium I think I’m going to do them in a shadow box.

  97. 97.

    Jebediah

    @PsiFighter37:

    If my schedule allows I would be interested – but I barely drink, which might violate BJ MeetUp Regulations.
    And I have no taste so I should not suggest where, although there are some nice places locally (Culver City.)

  103. 103.

    LT

    @lojasmo: You wore long pants? AT ALL? Seriously, I can count the number of days I wore pants of any kind on my vagina. (And I live IN MY REFRIGERATOR.)

  104. 104.

    YellowJournalism

    @John Cole: Do you know how many of us women wish we had that problem? If I didn’t shave my legs, with my luck, the hairs would eventually poke out of my pants!

  107. 107.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Why did you cover that dirigible with fur and put a cats head on it?

    Holy cow!

  110. 110.

    Mnemosyne

    Also, too, since I know there are other crafters here, Craftsy.com is having a sale on their classes, with some of them up to 75% off. They have a pretty wide variety, from knitting and crocheting to sewing and gardening.

    (Sorry, had one wrong area, so I fixed it.)

  113. 113.

    Suffern ACE

    I don’t know. I think there’s lots of critters on beaches that like to crawl inside under toes to lay eggs. Sand fleas, sand flies, what have you. I would not mock someone who didn’t want that.

  117. 117.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    U.S. wins 3-2. They were a faster team than Canada and they’re younger. I’ve been predicting for a couple of years that things were trending in the Americans’ direction.

  119. 119.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    @Hill Dweller: No. I streamed it on fasthockey.com. It was on TV up in Canada and they used the video feed and added a couple of lame announcers.

  120. 120.

    raven

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): I realize it didn’t go well last night but the point I was trying to make is that basketball at that level is really difficult to officiate. They are so big and fast and contact in and of itself is not a foul. My comment about officiating for real was, well, for real. Anyway I never meant any of it to be hostile despite whoever deciding to jump in.

    eta “Beilein admits he didn’t realize Michigan wasn’t in the bonus yet in the final minute, which is why they didn’t foul immediately.”

    So the officiating is suspect but the Michigan coach, who I rally like, doesn’t know a crucial piece of information at the end of the game.

  122. 122.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    The unfortunate part of the tournament was that there was zero evidence that any of the other countries are making progress closing the gap with the U.S. and Canada. Every game those two played against anyone else was lopsided. The scores were close in the U.S./Finland games but that was only because Noora Rӓty is the best goalie in the world (and how was she not named best goalie of the tournament?) and made more than 80 saves in two games.

  125. 125.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    @raven: I never doubted that the officiating is hard. That was, in fact, a part of my point. I just don’t think you ever grasped what I was trying to say.

  126. 126.

    Anya

    God! I hate Chris Matthews. He’s such a dingbat. I just wanted to see how the media was covering the Mitch McConnel story and boy do I regret it. Well, Tweety had a little monologue where he talked about how what you know about a politician is always shown when he’s behind closed doors. So, he brought up Obama’s “cling to guns and religion” secret recording, along with the 47% tape. This is maddening. Obama was actually sympathizing with those communities and pointing out how a successive governments of both parties led them down. Romney on the other hand was mocking people and showing his callousness. I really hate these people.

  128. 128.

    Todd

    And yes, the hair will grow back on my legs in the next couple of weeks.

    No, it won’t. Welcome to middle age.

  131. 131.

    JoyfulA

    @muddy: Yes, I lived next door to a fat black cat. Despite her weight, Mollie somehow managed to get on the roof outside her friends’ window every night and howl until they let her in.

    I’ve seen her on that roof but never saw her in the process of getting there.

  133. 133.

    Anne Laurie

    @Amir Khalid:

    Thia Salon story implies that the widespread and deeply-felt hatred of Margaret Thatcher among Britons — people held impromptu street parties to mark her death — is just pranksters having their fun.

    To be fair, there’s probably just as large a percentage of Britons who have no idea who Thatcher was as there are Americans who couldn’t identify Jimmy Carter, or even Saint Ronnie, in a police lineup. (Heck, some of my fellow citizens probably couldn’t place President Obama if he walked into the local 7-11 without his security detail.) But hey, a party’s always a good time!

  136. 136.

    vhh

    Tunch is a victim of pet feeding abuse. He needs to go on a diet or he risks dying of obesity-related disease.

  139. 139.

    Kris Collins

    1) Those things on your feet are not flip-flops, flip-flops go between the toes, I don’t know what the hell those things are, 2) your pants rub your leg hair off? WTF!??? I am a woman with extremely delicate pale skin and incredibly fine, soft blonde body hair, including on my legs, and no pants, panty hose, tights, or whatever have ever rubbed the hair off my legs. What the hell kind of pants do you wear anyway?

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