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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Friday Night Open Thread

Friday Night Open Thread

by John Cole|  April 12, 20138:13 pm| 185 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Sorry for the lack of posts, but I had another busy day and am now chaperoning a formal dance for my fraternity (Alpha Sigma Phi). Times have changed- we would just have kegs in the basement back in the day and food in the kitchen, but now we are having a dry formal. Dad and I cooked all the food because the kids just don’t have the money to pay for catering, but it is better than catering anyway because my dad is amazing in the kitchen.

And I know many of you hate fraternities, but I just love my kids. They are all good people, I’ve been the Grand Chapter Advisor for three years and we have never had a problem with the law or any of the other bullshit, they all play sports and work on their grades and do lots of charity work, and when I go to our weekly Chapter meetings, all I can think is I hope I don’t get in the way and corrupt them, because they are so much better than I was when I was a frat boy. There is no rape culture or any of that bullshit in MY house. Our motto is “To Better the Man” and we take that credo seriously.

I really, really love these kids. I pretty much would do anything for them, they are that good. Really, all they need is a little alumni financial support and a little bit of solid guidance, and they take care of everything else.

Not every fraternity boy is a trust fund douchebag at an Ivy League school these days, and my house is a classic example. I hope the stigma about frats ends sometime.

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Reader Interactions

185Comments

  1. 1.

    Tod Kelly

    April 12, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    Very cool. Good for you and your dad.

  2. 2.

    Ash Can

    April 12, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    Wait, what? Chaperoning? You’re the adult supervision?

  3. 3.

    Woodrowfan

    April 12, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    which frat?

  4. 4.

    Redshirt

    April 12, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    LOLOLOLOLOL

    Chaperoning?

  5. 5.

    TaMara (BHF)

    April 12, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    I don’t know from frats, but these are some lucky kids if you and your dad are cooking for them. I’ve seen pictures of your spreads. Yum.

    Speaking of food and lack of posts, there won’t be a recipe thread (at least not from me) tonight. I’m still trying to adjust to my new schedule and just ran out of time this week. Next week, schedule willing.

  6. 6.

    ruemara

    April 12, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    Stigma against frats? Well, you’d have to get rid of a lot of fraternities. And wealthy douchebags.

  7. 7.

    Redshirt

    April 12, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    I hate frats, big time. For real. So your post is interesting to me Cole. You almost make it sound worthy.

  8. 8.

    Maude

    April 12, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    You ever find the mustard?

  9. 9.

    maye

    April 12, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    I’m in the process of visiting colleges with my son, and I am impressed with all the charity work these kids are doing off campus in the communities. There are even coeducational “service” fraternities.

  10. 10.

    Yutsano

    April 12, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    I had friends and employees from various Greek houses when I was in college. It taught me a shit ton about judging folks too harshly without getting to at least understand their situation. Plus the fratboys who made fun of the Westboro Baptist Church permanently rule.

  11. 11.

    cyntax

    April 12, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    I hope the stigma about frats ends sometime.

    Here’s hoping that more frats turn out like this one.

  12. 12.

    danielx

    April 12, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    Snort…giggle…guffaw…hee hee HO HO HO…I’m sorry, I thought I read that Cole is chaperoning a frat dance.

  13. 13.

    Violet

    April 12, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    You’re a good man, Cole.

  14. 14.

    JWL

    April 12, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    I picture you frat guys all greeting each other with a special howdy-do, akin to Jackie Gleason’s Raccoon Lodge Brothers tugging the tails of their raccoon hats while warbling “oooo-ooooh”.

  15. 15.

    Narcissus

    April 12, 2013 at 8:37 pm

    I find the idea of fraternities and sororities (groups of young people banding together to improve themselves and their communities) very appealing. I wish more of them lived up to that ideal, and were not simply for making connections and partying.

  16. 16.

    rikyrah

    April 12, 2013 at 8:39 pm

    I’m not against fraternities and sororities. be a good mentor, Cole.

  17. 17.

    Persia

    April 12, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    @cyntax: Yeah, more frats like Cole’s and fewer ‘name the girl you’d most like to rape’ and frats could fix their own reputations.

  18. 18.

    PsiFighter37

    April 12, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    Very cool. Glad to hear you’re breaking the typical (and relatively truthful) stereotype of what Greek life is about.

  19. 19.

    Redshirt

    April 12, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    Yeah, this is the bullshit surfacing they use to cover up endless BROGAMES and Chugathons – we did 5 hours of Community Service, brah! Frats – IE collections of young men – are inherently destructive to all involved.

  20. 20.

    danielx

    April 12, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    @Narcissus:

    True. Unfortunately they don’t make headlines for that ideal, it’s usually something more like this.

    The Omega house at IU was notorious for beating the dog shit out of its pledges when I was an undergrad lo these many years ago, and it clearly hasn’t changed. Similarly, Sigma Nu and SAE were and are the hard partying houses, Sigma Alpha Mu was and is a nest of gangsters (and proud of it)…hopefully there are some frats and sororities that do some good works in addition to the evil ones.

  21. 21.

    beltane

    April 12, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    This is a very heartwarming post. I can just picture Cole adopting all these young men, bringing them into his home, and feeding them until they are all as big as Tunch.

  22. 22.

    joel hanes

    April 12, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    The stigma will fade when the fraternity brothers in most people’s circle of aquaintances aren’t entitled, anti-intellectual asshats.

    Sounds like you’re doing your best to make that a reality.

    My parents thought their late-1940s fraternity/sorority experiences were among the high points of their lives, and were really disappointed that none of their kids were interested — but at the schools we went to in the 70’s and 80’s the Greek systems were repugnant: jock-dominated, anti-intellectual, corrupt (test cheating), and politically conservative (Reagan youth calibre).

    As for myself: as an Army veteran, I wasn’t really interested in living in a big building full of young men, and as an unregenerate DFH, I found the idea of spending time with unthinking Reaganauts less than attractive.

  23. 23.

    danielx

    April 12, 2013 at 8:47 pm

    @joel hanes:

    True dat. For me and my cohorts, living in a frat would have cramped our style. That first housewarming party with 200 people was truly epic…

  24. 24.

    lojasmo

    April 12, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    You are a helluva dude, Cole.

    I hope the stigma fades too, unfortunately, I think your house is the exception.

    Of course, I’m a mysanthropist.

  25. 25.

    Narcissus

    April 12, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    @beltane:

    This is a very heartwarming post. I can just picture Cole adopting all these young men, bringing them into his home, and feeding them until they are all as big as to Tunch.

  26. 26.

    beltane

    April 12, 2013 at 8:51 pm

    @Narcissus: Shades of Theseus and the Minotaur, except in West Virginia.

  27. 27.

    Hal

    April 12, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    I’m really enjoying Chris Hayes new show, except for the title. Up with Chris Hayes was great, but All in sounds like the title of a porn.

  28. 28.

    Woodrowfan

    April 12, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    Alpha Sigma Phi? Well, at least you’re not a Fiji. :)

  29. 29.

    Narcissus

    April 12, 2013 at 8:55 pm

    @beltane: Yikes. So who is Pasiphae?

  30. 30.

    taylormattd

    April 12, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    Why is it dry? That defeats the entire purpose of a frat.

  31. 31.

    schrodinger's cat

    April 12, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    @Narcissus: Tunch has to be appeased!

    John [email protected]
    So did you ever find the mustard?

  32. 32.

    jon

    April 12, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    “If babies had guns they wouldn’t be aborted.”–Rep. Steve Stockman’s bumper sticker

    The pronoun’s nearest antecedent is “guns”. Maybe I’ve missed something. Fess up, liberals: who’s been aborting guns?

  33. 33.

    delosgatos

    April 12, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    As noted up thread, a dry formal doesn’t preclude a wet basement.

  34. 34.

    Redshirt

    April 12, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    Zeta Psi is Pi approved

  35. 35.

    schrodinger's cat

    April 12, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    Does the formal dance include John dancing with the mop as the grand finale?

  36. 36.

    ? Martin

    April 12, 2013 at 9:01 pm

    WVU isn’t full of trust fund douchebags? My, how times have changed…

  37. 37.

    LT

    April 12, 2013 at 9:01 pm

    You’re a weird dude, Cole. I mean that in the best possible way of course.

  38. 38.

    Sean

    April 12, 2013 at 9:02 pm

    Oh man, I went into the frat system with no preconceived notions, and came out the other end understanding that every stereotypical frat cliche applied to MY house, (and much worse) so I wasn’t surprised to find out a few years after I left that they had lost their @100 year charter due to hazing scandals. That chapter has since reopened, and it’s now full of war vets (which were as rare as the yeti in the late 80’s) and tech nerds. Good for them I guess, but the whole experience pretty much ruined me on the traditional institution of the thing. Good on you though, exception to the rule and all that.

  39. 39.

    beltane

    April 12, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    @jon: Didn’t you know that the wimmins have a veritable Dodge City going on in their hoo-has?

  40. 40.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    @PsiFighter37: Varies from campus to campus and even house to house.

  41. 41.

    Tokyokie

    April 12, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    @Hal: Well, Up With Chris Hayes could be a porn title as well, when you think about it.

    And does the “formal” part of this mean that Cole is wearing a tuxedo? We need photographic evidence!

  42. 42.

    cyntax

    April 12, 2013 at 9:06 pm

    @Persia:
    Exactly. The stats on rape and fraternities are pretty sobering.

  43. 43.

    Woodrowfan

    April 12, 2013 at 9:10 pm

    A lot depends on the culture of the campus. My frat at a SLAC was pretty cool and laid back. The same frat at the big state school where I did my grad work was an animal house that I refused to associate with.

  44. 44.

    dewzke

    April 12, 2013 at 9:17 pm

    @Maude:

    Holy shit…that comment rules. Outta nowhere for the win!

  45. 45.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 9:19 pm

    @danielx: @joel hanes: FWIW I went to a very small school, <1500 students, and we had fraternity and sorority rush at the beginning of the winter term. This meant that people had a chance to make friends and see the various Greek organizations functioning day to day. As it turned out, I joined a house, but I had friends in the other five houses and friends who were independents. I was also friends with women in each of the sororities as well as independents. My school would not have put up with a lot of shit one hears about and our houses were owned by the school and leased back to us. As a result of these factors, I think we had fewer problems than many schools – although the Phi Delts were a bunch of muscle-headed dolts. Also too, it may have been a reflection of the campus, but our house was about 50/50 Dem and Republican.

  46. 46.

    dewzke

    April 12, 2013 at 9:19 pm

    “This party sucks!”

    “Hey guys, wonder joints!”

  47. 47.

    Anya

    April 12, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    To see beauty even in the common things of life.
    To shed the light of love and friendship round me.
    To keep my life in tune with the world that I shall make no discords in the harmony of life.
    To strike on the lyre of the universe only the notes of happiness, of joy, of peace.
    To appreciate every little service rendered.
    To see and appreciate all that is noble in another,
    Be her badge what it may.
    And to let my lyre send forth the chords of love, unselfishness, sincerity.
    This is to be my symphony.

  48. 48.

    mai naem

    April 12, 2013 at 9:34 pm

    What I remember about the frats and sororities at my college were that they apparently kept copies of tests going way back so the members could study off those tests and, chances were that they were going to do very well on those tests. I remember there was a status symbol situation with the sororities and the girls made a big deal about it. They really thought they were hot shit if they got into KKG. TriDelts were considered to be the losers.I remember clearly that you could pick out the KKG girls a mile away and they all looked the same – knock offs of 90210 era Shannon Doherty. There clothes may as well have been identical. Also too, I never met a non-white greek.

  49. 49.

    amk

    April 12, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    I hope the stigma about frats ends sometime.

    Keep dreamin’.

  50. 50.

    BruceFromOhio

    April 12, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    @Anya:

    To see beauty even in the common things of life.

    Thank you, Anya. This was an unexpected gem, and balances much of what has happened today.

    Beauty surrounds us, we need only choose to see it.

    ETA: Alpha Chi Omega, for those keeping score at home.

  51. 51.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    April 12, 2013 at 9:41 pm

    @Ash Can:

    If you want to stop the crime from happening, it’s best to hire a criminal to keep an eye on things. ;)

  52. 52.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 9:42 pm

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: Poacher turned gamekeeper?

  53. 53.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 9:43 pm

    @Anya: AXO?

  54. 54.

    Comrade Mary

    April 12, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    I didn’t know anyone in a frat when I was in university, and had no interest in joining one, but John’s chapter sounds like it’s a decent bunch of humans.

    For some reason, U of T didn’t used to call the women’s groups sororities: they were always “women’s fraternities”. That seems to have changed now, although they sometimes refer to them as “sororities and women’s fraternities”. Maybe some chapters are holding on to the old nomenclature.

  55. 55.

    Spaghetti Lee

    April 12, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    I’ve known decent frat guys and I’ve known shitty frat guys. Kinda like most other groups.

  56. 56.

    dexwood

    April 12, 2013 at 9:45 pm

    Change from within, Cole, that seems to be what you’re doing. Good.

  57. 57.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    April 12, 2013 at 9:48 pm

    I’m in one of those coed fraternities (which had the primary appeal of being the one my dear dad was in), but I’m not sure we do any service. If we do, I’ve been slacking. ::heads off to check::

  58. 58.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    April 12, 2013 at 9:48 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    You got it. :)

  59. 59.

    Arclite

    April 12, 2013 at 9:48 pm

    My attitude of frats in school: “BUY A FRIEND”

    It just seemed like the most stupid thing, being part of a closed organization. It’s why I hate Apple.

  60. 60.

    Woodrowfan

    April 12, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Did we go to the same school?

  61. 61.

    Cacti

    April 12, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    A dry formal event?

    If I have to wear gala attire, somebody better be getting me drunk for my troubles.

  62. 62.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    @Arclite: For me, it also bought great meals since our cook was awesome.

  63. 63.

    Woodrowfan

    April 12, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    @mai naem:

    Also too, I never met a non-white greek.

    We had some Asian (south and east) members, but it was a pretty white campus. The big state school had black frats. They were pretty hard core in terms of hazing.

  64. 64.

    Southern Beale

    April 12, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    Anyone need some good news? I’ve got some!

  65. 65.

    BruceFromOhio

    April 12, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    *sigh*

    The megaphone guy is gone.

    The rotating tag lines are gone.

    The last comment posted box is gone.

    Now the ads are all Asian dating sites and thermostats.

    And the formerly drug-addled frat boy tanker is cooking for a dry frat party.

    Where’s my Metamucil?

    *bangs fist on walker*

  66. 66.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 9:54 pm

    @Woodrowfan: No Sigma Chis at my school. DTD. But the impression I get is that the experience is vastly different at small schools than it is at large ones. At a small school, greeks cannot separate themselves from the rest of the student body; indeed, I would not have wanted to do so.

    @Woodrowfan: Four out of the six frats had AA members. At least three had South Asian members. IIRC only one of the three sororities had AA members, and they had several.

  67. 67.

    YellowJournalism

    April 12, 2013 at 9:56 pm

    @BruceFromOhio: Did you want tapioca or line Jell-O for dessert, dearie?

  68. 68.

    Ash Can

    April 12, 2013 at 9:57 pm

    I think that, while John’s busy, we should have another 700-comment wank-a-thon about something asinine, and then all e-mail him and bitch about it.

  69. 69.

    YellowJournalism

    April 12, 2013 at 9:57 pm

    Damn you, fat fingers on the phone! That should have said “lime!”

  70. 70.

    BruceFromOhio

    April 12, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    @YellowJournalism:

    When I was a kid, we didn’t have any stinking Jell-O. You sucked on a horse femur that you saved for special occasions.

    AND YOU LOVED IT.

  71. 71.

    FlyingToaster

    April 12, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    @danielx: Daniel, I remember the moniker “Sigma Nudes” from my time in Bloomington. I worked at Swain, and wanted to put up Reagan’s Star Wars just to burn the Fijis off the face of the earth.

    OTOH, I had good friends at KDR (back when they had the house on 3rd street) and Zeta Beta Tau. And I was a member of a service sorority (Tau Beta Sigma).

    Sigma Nu and Kappa Sigma and Phi Gamma Delta and the Tri-Delts did a lot of damage to the reputation of the Greeks back when I was there.

  72. 72.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    My old man came home from WWII and pledged Sigma Nu at Illinois. He wanted me to do the same when I went there when I came home. Xin Loi.

  73. 73.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 10:05 pm

    Here’s your fucking frat boy bullshit:

    Connor Buchanan walked into Knoxville City Court on Monday in a suit and tie with hopes of keeping his driver’s license after being one of a dozen college students snared by University of Tennessee police investigating a September “butt-chugging” incident.

    “I’d like to go into an alcohol assistance program rather than lose my license,” the 19-year-old Buchanan said before court began. “I need a car to get around and go to work.”

    Buchanan is a member of the now disgraced Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity chapter at the University of Tennessee where police said a member almost died from alcohol poisoning.

  74. 74.

    Redshirt

    April 12, 2013 at 10:05 pm

    R U Shure?

  75. 75.

    Woodrowfan

    April 12, 2013 at 10:10 pm

    @FlyingToaster: FYI, Indiana wingnut governor Mike Pence was a Fiji.

  76. 76.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 10:12 pm

    @Woodrowfan: The Fijis at my school were the boho house.

    ETA: So were the Phi Taus.

  77. 77.

    Anya

    April 12, 2013 at 10:12 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: You got it!

  78. 78.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:12 pm

    oh good, johnny is back.

  79. 79.

    Woodrowfan

    April 12, 2013 at 10:12 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    At a small school, greeks cannot separate themselves from the rest of the student body; indeed, I would not have wanted to do so.

    Same here. It wasn’t all roses. One of my girlfriends was snubbed by some mean girls because her boyfriend (me) was in the “wrong” frat. But in general the Greeks and Independents got along pretty well and everybody went to the dances and movie nights the others hosted.

  80. 80.

    Suffern ACE

    April 12, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    @raven: Does the concept of just spending a few dollars more to buy beer that actually tastes good so you’re not confused as to what you’re supposed to do with it not ever occur to young drinkers?

  81. 81.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    and omnes.

    yay.

  82. 82.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:16 pm

    i have missed the omnes.

  83. 83.

    Ramalama

    April 12, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    I was a GDI on a huge campus for a very short window of time years and years ago. I bloody well hated the whole frat / sorority system. Nearly had a breakdown while at that campus because it was impossible to do anything without being affiliated, and I’m sorry but I didn’t want arbitrary and girly rules of conduct enforced on me when I had just moved to college. I like hearing stories about greek houses that are filled with good people but I get my haunches up as well.

  84. 84.

    Anya

    April 12, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    @BruceFromOhio: My experience was really positive. We really took seriously the issue of domestic violence and empowering women. I hate that I share something with Condoleezza Rice, other than that I have nothing but positive experience.

  85. 85.

    Woodrowfan

    April 12, 2013 at 10:18 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I was in the BoHo house at my school. Lots of theater folk. The Fiji’s were God Squaders, the Phi Delts were rich kids, the Betas were the friendly beer guys and the Lamdas were the Animal House (and were kicked off campus). As for the sororities, the AOPis were, well, kind of a hodge-podge, the Thetas were a mixture of mean girls and sweet things, the ADPis were the unpretentious beer drinkers and the Pi Mus were the rich daddy’s girls. I tended to hang with the AOPis. They were pretty mellow “do your own thing, we’re cool.”

  86. 86.

    Suffern ACE

    April 12, 2013 at 10:18 pm

    I wonder if we would have a 500 post thread about selling the TVA.

  87. 87.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:21 pm

    oh omnes, everyone obviously loves you. just show up already, bitch.

  88. 88.

    Woodrowfan

    April 12, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    When the world goes wrong, as it’s bound to do And you’ve broken Dan Cupid’s bow And you long for the girl you used to love the maid of the long ago

    Why light your pipe, bid sorrow avaunt, Blow the smoke from your alter of dreams And wreathe the face of your dream-girl there The love that is just what it seems.

    And the moonlight beams On the girl of my dreams She’s the Sweetheart of Sigma Chi.

  89. 89.

    FlyingToaster

    April 12, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    @Woodrowfan: Figures. Another fucking “Do as I say and not as I do” asshole.

  90. 90.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    good god, omnes, you are such a dick sometimes.

  91. 91.

    Woodrowfan

    April 12, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    @FlyingToaster: Yep, he was a dick then. He only got worse.

  92. 92.

    eemom

    April 12, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    grrroooooowwwl.

    Look y’all — talk about frats all you want, but cut out the “Greek” shorthand.

    They stole our alphabet. They are NOT “Greek.”

    kfuckingthxbai.

  93. 93.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    April 12, 2013 at 10:31 pm

    The main thing I remember about the frats I lived near at USC is that one of them used to watch porn films as a group. Never understood that. Were you all supposed to wank together, or what?

  94. 94.

    ChrisNYC

    April 12, 2013 at 10:31 pm

    Wow, “stigma.” That’s a big word. I got rushed for a sorority in the late 80s. The rich South American who scoped me, in Italian class, was HORRIFIED that I brought my roommate, a black girl, to the mixer. In the late 80s! My roommate and I then threw in the towel on the whole being nice part of the evening and pursued two unaffiliated and sweetly debauched men. JOSE. You could still say, “Jose!” to my roommate and she’d laugh, I’m betting. So yeah, the Greek system is very fantastic.

  95. 95.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 10:31 pm

    @Woodrowfan: We had the editor of the school paper, a couple of student body presidents, a couple of Fulbright winners, much of the soccer, rugby, and hockey teams, and a couple of guys who definitely were “not dealing” coke. Phi Delts were football, basketball, and baseball jocks. Betas had been the Animal House and were kicked off campus and then restarted as a yuppiie asshole house. Sig Eps were rather bland, nice but not really noticeable. Our DGs were brunettes, KKGs were blonde, and the KATs were a mixture; aside from that, what I noticed about them is that they were girls – some of whom dug me.

  96. 96.

    Narcissus

    April 12, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    I’m just here for the buttchugging

  97. 97.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:34 pm

    yeah, omnes. that’s awesome.

  98. 98.

    eemom

    April 12, 2013 at 10:36 pm

    @Little Boots:

    You really need to get lost, you weird stalker creep.

  99. 99.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 10:36 pm

    @Narcissus: You know, the only place I ever saw that happen was at rugby parties. I really do not understand the appeal at all.

    @eemom: Greek Letter Societies is a bit unwieldy.

  100. 100.

    Scamp Dog

    April 12, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    @BruceFromOhio: You’re getting the Asian dating sites too? I thought I was getting those because I’m a member of a Chinese language Meetup group. Do you have any similar interests that the All-Knowing Google may be keying in on, or do you suppose is it something Balloon-Juice related?

  101. 101.

    Mnemosyne

    April 12, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    Grilled cheese with apples and bacon.

    Tater tots on the side.

    Life is pretty good right now.

  102. 102.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    oh, eenom, omnes gets me. it’s okay.

  103. 103.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    and he does need to stop, incidentally.

  104. 104.

    Gravenstone

    April 12, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    @Little Boots:

    i have missed the omnes.

    I am completely “hearing” this in the voice of Starfire from Teen Titans. Unnerving.

  105. 105.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    @Mnemosyne: The joynt across the street had chocolate covered bacon tonight.

  106. 106.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:41 pm

    yikes. acolytes.

    so disturbing.

  107. 107.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:41 pm

    still miss omnes. who is awesome, always.

  108. 108.

    jurassicpork

    April 12, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    In “Den of Thieves“, Mike Flannigan shows that Obama hears us but listens to the CEOs who’ve ruined this country.

  109. 109.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    omnes, seriously? this is what you want?

  110. 110.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 10:45 pm

    In honor of Cole’s party, this was a staple of our party soundtrack.

    ETA: As was this.

  111. 111.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:47 pm

    omnes, seriously? you are so annoying?

  112. 112.

    Digital Amish

    April 12, 2013 at 10:47 pm

    60,000 dollar student loan debt and dry frat parties chaperoned by a perverse version of a cat lady — I don’t know, college just doesn’t sound like as much fun as it used to be.

  113. 113.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    Here’s a painting of our neighborhood eatery by a local artist. The little black and white doggies are ours.

  114. 114.

    Yutsano

    April 12, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    @YellowJournalism: I dunno, the concept of lining Jell-O sounds intriguing. I was about to subscribe to your newsletter.

  115. 115.

    Baud

    April 12, 2013 at 10:49 pm

    @raven:

    Tell me that’s not Tunch at the top.

  116. 116.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 10:50 pm

    @raven: Cool.

  117. 117.

    Yutsano

    April 12, 2013 at 10:50 pm

    @FlyingToaster: OMG YOU’RE MY SISTER!! Kappa Kappa Psi Iota Gamma/Iota Kappa!

  118. 118.

    eemom

    April 12, 2013 at 10:51 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Greek Letter Societies is a bit unwieldy.

    May I suggest “frats”?

  119. 119.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    @eemom: Look, the butt-chugging is straight out of Euripides. Deal with it.

  120. 120.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    @Baud: That’s the White Tiger!

    http://kenmanring.wix.com/whitetiger

  121. 121.

    Baud

    April 12, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    @raven:

    Why are there three naked guys in the back?

  122. 122.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    @Baud: They’re not nekkid, there are picnic tables over there and people hang out in that area.

  123. 123.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    omnes, seriuously?

  124. 124.

    Lyrebird

    April 12, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    There are plenty of non-trust fund horse’s posteriors who are members of ordinary state college fraternities, and there are unfortunately plenty of horse’s posteriors in dorms in non-fraternity schools, and in any large group of people.

    Glad you have that house of young men, and glad that they have you.

  125. 125.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 10:59 pm

    @Baud:

    Why are there three naked guys in the back?

    Why not?

  126. 126.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 10:59 pm

    @Baud: Here’s a little bit different version.

  127. 127.

    ? Martin

    April 12, 2013 at 11:00 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Euripides? Not Aristophanes?

  128. 128.

    Little Boots

    April 12, 2013 at 11:00 pm

    you suck, buddy.

  129. 129.

    Baud

    April 12, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    @raven:

    In that one, one of the people in the back looks like a bear.

    The paintings are pretty, however. Do you own one?

  130. 130.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    @Baud: This is our house.

  131. 131.

    JoyfulA

    April 12, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    @Scamp Dog: I’m getting an ad about how Pat Toomey betrayed me by supporting Obama’s taking my guns. It could be that I’m from PA, but I don’t have any guns and wouldn’t mind if Toomey and Obama took everybody’s guns and think it’s the first decent thing Toomey did in his life.

    However, I’m getting ads aimed at Tunch and ads about videogames, too, that seem site-specific.

  132. 132.

    Baud

    April 12, 2013 at 11:02 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I’m not sure I’d want to dine at such an establishment.

  133. 133.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 11:03 pm

    @? Martin: The author of The Wasps wouldn’t talk about butt-chugging. Paddling, however…

  134. 134.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 11:03 pm

    @Baud: It’s funny, we love her work and she is a friend but they are out of our range. She used our house(s) in several and we told her how much we liked them. She gave us a very nice small painting of a chair that we love. The painting of the White Tiger is 1850.

  135. 135.

    Baud

    April 12, 2013 at 11:03 pm

    @raven:

    Hate to say it, but that one looks kind of Halloween-y.

  136. 136.

    JoyfulA

    April 12, 2013 at 11:03 pm

    @raven: Is that Tunch over the door?

  137. 137.

    Baud

    April 12, 2013 at 11:04 pm

    @raven:

    1850 will buy you a lot of hookers and blow.

  138. 138.

    Ash Can

    April 12, 2013 at 11:05 pm

    @raven: That painting is adorable! The colors are cheerful, the animals are cute as can be, the people are delightful. Absolutely charming.

  139. 139.

    Baud

    April 12, 2013 at 11:05 pm

    @JoyfulA:

    It’s the White Tiger. Keep up.

  140. 140.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 11:07 pm

    @Baud: The title is Midnight on Hiawassee. Here’s another.

  141. 141.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 11:07 pm

    @Baud: That ship sailed.

  142. 142.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    @Ash Can: She’s a treasure.

  143. 143.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 11:09 pm

    @Baud: Years ago, my parents were coming to visit me when I lived in Ohio, and I said that there was a new tapas place I wanted to take to. My mom heard tapas as topless. She went with it because I usually pick out good restaurants and, if I wanted to go there, the food must be good. She was much more comfortable with the plan once the confusion was resolved.

  144. 144.

    Gin & Tonic

    April 12, 2013 at 11:11 pm

    Nobody seems to have mentioned it here, but the genius Jonathan Winters has passed. A real shame.

  145. 145.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 11:11 pm

    OK, just finished my Masters recording. I can’t believe Tiger’s horrible luck!

  146. 146.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 11:12 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: It came up on a number of threads earlier, fwiw I think he deserves an RIP thread.

  147. 147.

    Baud

    April 12, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Did you ever try to take your mom to a topless place with good food, just to see how she would react?

  148. 148.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: We had a long conversation this afternoon when the news broke. I posted several clips from Mad Mad Mad.

  149. 149.

    Atlanta Redhead

    April 12, 2013 at 11:14 pm

    @FlyingToaster: I never heard them called the “Sigma Nudes” but it makes sense because one of their rituals was to run naked through my sorority’s courtyard. I have photos. When I was at I.U. hazing was illegal for sororities but I can’t remember if it was for fraternities. Regardless, they made the guys do a lot of stupid stuff.

    Before I joined a sorority, I was a Lambda Chi “little sis.” One of the horrifying things we were asked to do was dress up like Playboy bunnies and serve the guy’s fathers drinks during dad’s weekend. Pervs.

    I have mixed feelings about my sorority experience but then again, I have mixed feelings about a lot of my youth. It definitely narrowed my social circle, which was somewhat useful on such a large campus. I held a couple of b.s. offices and learned a bit about the politics of an organization.

    I hated the forced friendships and the propaganda that we would be sisters forever; I felt absolutely no emotional connection to that idea. I dated plenty of GDIs and don’t recall that as a problem.

  150. 150.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    @Baud: No, but I don’t know of any topless places with good food. I tend to think that she would handle it rather well if I did though.

  151. 151.

    raven

    April 12, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    Cool, the Chinese kid made the cut!

  152. 152.

    Baud

    April 12, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Sounds like you have a cool mom.

  153. 153.

    Atlanta Redhead

    April 12, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    Oh and forgot the best part. Playboy held auditions for the girls of the big ten. We all received a letter from the Panhellenic association that it would not be in good taste for us to try out. I had no intention of trying out until I got that letter. Grabbed two of my sorority sisters, went to the motel room, had my (clothed) picture taken. Just Cuz, you know, don’t tell me what to do.

    P.s. we did some great charity work

  154. 154.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 11:21 pm

    @Baud: She’s okay. Also too, my parents were part of an arty scene in the Chicago in the 60s and early 70s; it’s not like she hasn’t seen things.

  155. 155.

    David Koch

    April 12, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    .

  156. 156.

    Gin & Tonic

    April 12, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    @raven: Oh. I was busy this afternoon.

  157. 157.

    Baud

    April 12, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    She probably hung out with Obama’s dad, Bill Ayers.

  158. 158.

    Narcissus

    April 12, 2013 at 11:27 pm

    @Baud: Or one night of really high quality hookers and blow

  159. 159.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    @Baud: Quite possibly. I remember, as a kid being at a few parties, with painters and photographers (including a Playboy photog who had a monstrously huge buffalo fur coat); for me, the highlight was that I got to stay up and watch “Creature Feature” on WGN. OTOH my parents got a bunch of free and/or inexpensive art from artists who didn’t have room for it in their studios.

    @Narcissus: Or an hour of unbelievably good hookers and blow.

  160. 160.

    dollared

    April 12, 2013 at 11:40 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Take her to San Francisco. There’s a place with great Southeast Asian food and great Southeast Asian transvestite wait-eresses. AsiaSF, I think it’s called.

    It’s not quite the same thing, but it would give her something to talk about after her trip.

  161. 161.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2013 at 11:49 pm

    @dollared: My parents might be heading to SF later this year. If they go, I may just recommend the place; they love Southeast Asian food.

  162. 162.

    FlyingToaster

    April 12, 2013 at 11:53 pm

    @Yutsano: Hi! [wave] I suspect I’m the older one though :) Tau Beta Sigma, Rho, ’83. Clarinet, FWIW. (Right now I’m learning violin just to stay ahead of WarriorGirl.)

    You’re from ‘way out west, eh? I started in the middle and kept moving east until I hit water.

    I remember waking up at 5 am on game Saturdays to call 25 Hundred members to get them up; my senior year I typed the master list of bandmembers so that no more calls were made to the Dean of Students.

  163. 163.

    FlyingToaster

    April 12, 2013 at 11:57 pm

    @Atlanta Redhead: A couple of Sigma Nus got arrested when I was an undergrad for entering a sorority naked. “Tresspassing and public lewdness” was the charge, IIRC. I suspect the streaking the courtyard thing will go on right up until they’re kicked off campus.

  164. 164.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    April 12, 2013 at 11:58 pm

    @raven: Best news I’ve heard all day, from the Masters cut! The painting of your house is lovely.

    Mr. Q had dinner with Chuck Rainey tonight and the redbuds are all in bloom outside Nashville but it’s cold here. So I’m a might bit peeved.

  165. 165.

    ruemara

    April 13, 2013 at 12:03 am

    Is there still a BJ LA meetup in the works?

  166. 166.

    AA+ Bonds

    April 13, 2013 at 12:25 am

    Mr. Cole: are you going to post about Libya again anytime soon? Seeing as it still, y’know, exists.

  167. 167.

    amk

    April 13, 2013 at 12:30 am

    @raven: With a penalty stroke too from the stuck up, anal augusta ‘organisers’. Even his partner disagreed with that stupid decision.

    Two-time winner Crenshaw said: “This is not going to end pretty. I’m sick for him [Guan]. I feel terrible. He is 14 years old. I’m so sorry this has happened.”

  168. 168.

    ? Martin

    April 13, 2013 at 12:46 am

    @amk: Look, it’s one of the top tournaments on earth. If there’s ever a place for the PGA rules to apply, it’s here. The 14 year old isn’t forced to be there. If he’s not ready to play prime-time golf, then he’s not ready. No big. He can return next year.

  169. 169.

    SatanicPanic

    April 13, 2013 at 12:49 am

    @ruemara: if not you can come to San Diego

  170. 170.

    Ruckus

    April 13, 2013 at 12:56 am

    @ruemara:
    Sure sounds like a good idea.

  171. 171.

    amk

    April 13, 2013 at 12:56 am

    @? Martin: Right, there are 14-year olds landing up at atlanta every year.

    As I said, ‘we got history’ anal retentive. ymmv.

  172. 172.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 13, 2013 at 1:00 am

    You guys have fun. I will leave you with this, Life is Grand.

  173. 173.

    srv

    April 13, 2013 at 1:04 am

    @Gin & Tonic: Last of the Great Comics.

  174. 174.

    Ruckus

    April 13, 2013 at 1:18 am

    @Gin & Tonic:
    Used on of his classic lines on Thursday talking about a lunch place.

    Kid writes home from camp,
    “The food here is horrible and besides there isn’t enough of it.”

    Worked well for the military also.

  175. 175.

    srv

    April 13, 2013 at 1:29 am

    Actually, I discover that Sid Caesar is still alive…

  176. 176.

    Yutsano

    April 13, 2013 at 1:32 am

    @FlyingToaster: I lived with several clarinet players in college. All female, although it seemed to be the most gender diverse instrument. Saturdays were always awesome even when our football team sucked which was more often than not. Incidentally the current National President of TBS is an old friend. Her term is up this year. :)

  177. 177.

    Anne Laurie

    April 13, 2013 at 1:32 am

    @ruemara:

    Is there still a BJ LA meetup in the works?

    May 10-11, IIRC. I figured I’d ask PSIFighter37 about front-paging a post around the beginning of May, if he doesn’t ask one of us first…

  178. 178.

    Pseudonym

    April 13, 2013 at 1:51 am

    As someone whose parents set up a trust fun that paid for most of my education at an Ivy-caliber institution, and as someone who I hope isn’t a douchebag, I hope that the stigma of trust fundies at Ivy League schools as douchebags ends sometime. I hope this happens because trust fundies at Ivy League schools cease being douchebags, because that’s a far more important issue than an inaccurate stigma. Similarly, I hope frats stop being rapey.

  179. 179.

    moderateindy

    April 13, 2013 at 1:57 am

    Reading Cole’s post all I could think of was watching the local news and having the mother of some teenage boy that had been arrested talk about what a good boy he is, and he ain’t in no gangs or nothing.
    Sorry Cole, but I think you may be reverting back to your old ways, where you convince yourself of the most ludicrous of ideas. I wouldn’t say they have bamboozled you, just that you only see what you want to see.
    How do I know that your “kids” are a bunch of self-centered jack-asses. Because they’re a group of 18-22 year old guys that are fortunate enough to both be able to go to college, and have enough cash to join a frat. Scorpions gotta sting, grifters gotta grif,t and large groups of teenage, and barely beyond, dudes are gonna be jack-asses. Even kids that age that are fairly kind, and decent as individuals, act differently when inside such a group dynamic.
    Perhaps all that scotch has addled your mind, but surely you can think back to your own days in the frats, and as part of the lacrosse team, and remember how the group as a whole behaved. Do you really think that the kids today are all that different? I’m sure they’re more tolerant of gays, and such, but on the whole they are still basically teenage boys with access to beer and devoid of much supervision.

  180. 180.

    HE Pennypacker, Wealthy Industrialist

    April 13, 2013 at 2:10 am

    JC, I will admit that I’ve said unkind things here about frats in the past. Your post makes me reconsider them. I painted frats with a broad brush, and that was wrong.

    My memory of frats in the early 80’s on a Cal State campus was a bunch of arrogant Young Republican reaganites marching across campus with boomboxes blasting the Beastie Boys. That in itself not so bad, but when you talked to them their arrogant sense of self-entitltement was so awful, to paraphrase: “You piece of shit hippy, stop talking to me, I’m a Business major and someday I’ll own you.” (Of course, I always thought, “You’re majoring in Business at a Cal State university. The loser here is you.”)

    In any case, I’m approaching 50 now and I’m a lot more forgiving — those guys at that age were douchebags, and so was I in a diametrically opposed fashion. So keep supporting your guys, it sounds great.

  181. 181.

    ruemara

    April 13, 2013 at 2:33 am

    @Anne Laurie: k, fingers crossed I can sell some old computers, figure out an overnight and come represent. Or terrorize, either one.

  182. 182.

    ? Martin

    April 13, 2013 at 2:43 am

    @amk:

    Right, there are 14-year olds landing up at atlanta every year.

    So what if he’s 14? Either he’s up to level to play at the Masters or he isn’t. Or are there supposed to be rules for ‘first evers’ and rules for everyone else? Hey, why not just give the kid a few mulligans. He’s only 14 after all.

  183. 183.

    ? Martin

    April 13, 2013 at 2:45 am

    @Pseudonym: Let’s start with the frats not being rapey and work backward on that one.

  184. 184.

    Pseudonym

    April 13, 2013 at 6:51 am

    @? Martin: Well, I was attempting to set up an extended analogy to demonstrate why certain frats being rapey was worse than other frats being unfairly stigmatized for being rapey. I guess I wasn’t very clear though, sorry. So much for all that money spent on edumacating me!

  185. 185.

    Jebediah

    April 13, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    @Southern Beale:

    Thanks!

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