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You are here: Home / Turn to the Douche

Turn to the Douche

by $8 blue check mistermix|  April 15, 20139:24 am| 25 Comments

This post is in: Assholes

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I’m busy with some real-world stuff (hint: four letters, starts with “w”) so I’ll just leave you with the tale of one of the legal profession’s biggest assholes, who started by suing the Oatmeal for $20,000, and ended up being served with $46,000 of legal fees. Sweet justice, and the guy’s picture alone is worth a click, trust me.

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Previous Post: « Monday Morning Open Thread: Not Helpful
Next Post: Lessons in accountability from the school reform industry and the politicians they purchased »

Reader Interactions

25Comments

  1. 1.

    Aaron Baker

    April 15, 2013 at 9:35 am

    ” . . . the legal profession’s biggest assholes”? That’s a really deep bench.

    (I’m a lawyer, btw, so please regard this as an expert testimonial).

  2. 2.

    lojasmo

    April 15, 2013 at 9:39 am

    Little early for wine.

  3. 3.

    lojasmo

    April 15, 2013 at 9:45 am

    Missed the edit: Or weed.

    Douchey lawyer is douchey.

  4. 4.

    mistermix' inalienable right to remain silent

    April 15, 2013 at 9:45 am

    So if John Cole would shoot himself in the head if he went to a nascar race, imagine what would happen if he read his own blog. the idiots here are worse rednecks than anything in nascar.

  5. 5.

    MikeJ

    April 15, 2013 at 9:45 am

    @lojasmo: I assumed he was planning a Waco style stand off.

  6. 6.

    Ash Can

    April 15, 2013 at 9:50 am

    I clicked on the link at least expecting to see something humorous. Meh. The guy just looks relatively normal. I guess there’s humor in the t-shirt given the douche’s backstory, but…meh.

  7. 7.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 15, 2013 at 9:53 am

    one of the legal profession’s biggest assholes

    That’s a pretty strong claim you are making.

  8. 8.

    cvstoner

    April 15, 2013 at 9:55 am

    “Defendant nowhere explains how he arrived at this figure or why such an award would be appropriate and reasonable under the circumstances,” wrote the judge. “Indeed, such an award would contemplate an hourly rate of less than $70…”

    Maybe I’m being podunk, but $70/hr seems like pretty good money to me.

  9. 9.

    Roger Moore

    April 15, 2013 at 10:02 am

    @Aaron Baker:

    I’m a lawyer, btw, so please regard this as an expert testimonial

    Q: Where do lawyers go when they die?

    A: The Great Hereinafter.

  10. 10.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 15, 2013 at 10:03 am

    @cvstoner:

    Maybe I’m being podunk, but $70/hr seems like pretty good money to me.

    FWIW a lawyer’s hourly billing rate does not equal the amount that the lawyer takes home. Assuming that the lawyer is a solo practitioner, the money would have to pay for the office rent, utilities, support staff salaries, etc. A billing rate of $70 an hour is likely to mean that the lawyer loses money on the case.

  11. 11.

    Schlemizel

    April 15, 2013 at 10:05 am

    @cvstoner:

    $70/hr is very low for a lawyer, I would expect at least twice and probably closer to 3 times that.

  12. 12.

    Roger Moore

    April 15, 2013 at 10:12 am

    @cvstoner:

    Maybe I’m being podunk, but $70/hr seems like pretty good money to me.

    Not as much as you’d think. $70/hour is the billable rate, which has to cover salary, benefits, and all the costs of running the office, like rent, electricity, office equipment, upkeep, etc. It’s not at all unreasonable.

  13. 13.

    piratedan

    April 15, 2013 at 10:18 am

    @cvstoner: when you add in the people behind that number, its absurdly low I’m afraid. Nice to see this guy get his comeuppance as he was the guy that initiated the crap between the website FunnyJunk and The Oatmeal. Depending upon your POV it was an interesting story and I’m very happy that Inman (The Oatmeal) ended up on the winning side of this, after all it was his content that was taken without his permission.

  14. 14.

    JGabriel

    April 15, 2013 at 10:31 am

    Top post needs link to Garfunkel & Oates Turn for the Douche.

  15. 15.

    Comrade Mary

    April 15, 2013 at 10:45 am

    A BEAR THERE WAS, A BEAR! A BEAR! ALL BLACK AND BROWN AND COVERED WITH HAIR!

  16. 16.

    Eric U.

    April 15, 2013 at 10:58 am

    if $70 an hour is unreasonable, let us then give the lawyer $1000 an hour. 1000*200/7 is ~$3000. How does that go to $36000?
    Guy deserves to pay it, no doubt

  17. 17.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 15, 2013 at 11:01 am

    @Comrade Mary: Damn you! I have an earworm.

  18. 18.

    shortstop

    April 15, 2013 at 11:09 am

    This guy is like Joe Walsh with a law license.

  19. 19.

    Ronnie Pudding

    April 15, 2013 at 11:17 am

    Wasn’t sure what “suing the Oatmeal” meant and am a little disappointed to find it isn’t some slang term for masturbation.

  20. 20.

    Aaron Baker

    April 15, 2013 at 11:36 am

    Q: Where do lawyers go when they die?

    A: The Great Hereinafter.

    I hadn’t heard that one. Thanks!

  21. 21.

    nastybrutishntall

    April 15, 2013 at 11:37 am

    You need to import a “hoist on their own retard” tag from TBogg.

  22. 22.

    Comrade Mary

    April 15, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Do you prefer this version?

  23. 23.

    Arclite

    April 15, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    Was glad that this turned out well for Inman and The Oatmeal. Carreon was being unnecessarily aggressive, IMO.

  24. 24.

    Aaron Baker

    April 15, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    And now I’ve learned that Joe Walsh doesn’t have a law degree (I confirmed it on Wikipedia). That’s one asshole my profession needn’t answer for.

  25. 25.

    gmann

    April 15, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    @Aaron Baker: (I’m a lawyer, btw, so please regard this as an expert testimonial).

    Aaron, is this expert testimony billable and are we going to have to have another fundraiser ?

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