This interview with the incredibly dim-witted Ryan Lochte is awesome:
I love it when people laugh uncontrollably. It just makes you laugh with them.
This post is in: Humorous
This interview with the incredibly dim-witted Ryan Lochte is awesome:
I love it when people laugh uncontrollably. It just makes you laugh with them.
Comments are closed.
I am not a kook
Witteist!
jl
I did not see anything unusual or humorous about Mr. Lochte’s interview at all. Just simple straightforward matter-of-fact responses to simple questions. What would Gary Cooper have said? Eggsackly the same things. I don’t even recall him uttering the word ‘dude’.
I assume the anchors where just rattled from the stress of covering the Boston manhunt 24/7. Had nothing to do with the interview.
Edit: in short, Lochte is an examplar of ‘mansplaining’.
pete
Thanks, I needed that. Whatever it was.
Baud
Lochte seemed stoned to me.
lamh35
I remember watching Lochte doing his Olympic interviews and I remember thinking Gawd, this dude is cute and has a great body, but he’s as dumb as a board and I thought Michael Phelps was a little slow, but damn if Lochte doesn’t make Phelps look like Einstein.
Violet
That’s awesome. Ryan Lochte is a gem.
Trollhattan
Lord, that’s darn funny. Appreciated the question about how were they getting thirteen weeks of programming.
And now, puppehs in the news:
http://www.sacbee.com/2013/04/19/5355661/yolo-county-rescue-dog-helping.html#storylink=cpy
zombie rotten mcdonald
Obviously he was under water a bit too long.
Amir Khalid
I have no idea who this Ryan Lochte person is, but if he can be that funny — intentionally or otherwise — for 13 hours of reality TV programming, he’ll have earned, ten times over, whatever he’s getting paid.
? Martin
@Amir Khalid: 11 time olympic swimming medalist. He’d probably be infinitely more famous if he wasn’t constantly swimming in the shadow of Michael Phelps the whole time.
He’s quite the douchebag though.
TaMara (BHF)
Oh that was wonderful.
Trollhattan
@Amir Khalid:
Olympian swimmer who has the misfortune of being Michael Phelps’ teammate, i.e., “Ryan who?”
Actually a good swimmer, but even in London when I’d hear him interviewed my first response was always, “Wha?”
ETA beaten to the water.
scav
The off-camera people were losing it. . .
JGabriel
Please tell me Lochte was stoned for that interview. I really don’t want to think that anyone who is that dim-witted while dead sober is serving as a role model for our children.
terraformer
You’re right, Cole: uncontrollable laughter is a bit infectious!
FlipYrWhig
He’s not stoned, he’s just dumber than a box of rocks.
Kc dmv
@JGabriel: Welcome to America. Land of Free.
RoonieRoo
That was pretty priceless
@lamh35: I remember having the same thought when they were interviewing him during the Olympics.
Gin & Tonic
He spends his life doing laps in a pool. Being smart is probably detrimental.
Joseph Nobles
The anchors were clearly trying to prompt him into the responses from a pre-interview or the materials provided by his press handlers. So he’s a box of rocks or was stoned. Minerals were involved.
smintheus
Is this the Philly station?
Alison
Did I hallucinate that there was a newer post that disappeared?
cmorenc
@lamh35:
What the Hell do you say as an Olympic swimmer in interviews? First, it’s not a smart place to start yakking about all the ribald fun and ladies you’re boinking in Olympic village, nor is it a smart place to start talking about politics or bashing corporations or the crass commercialism of the Olympics if you’re hoping to cash in on your competitive success, and third even if you are a bit of an intellectual geek, it’s not the sort of setting where it’s easy to start riffing deeply about books you’ve read, or especially deep thoughts about stuff without risking looking both sophmorically shallow and artificially pretentious within the typical interview time frame.
What exactly would *you* talk about if you just won an Olympic medal, were still a bit winded and wet from your event in the pool? Or months later, were being interviewed for two minutes by two not-so-very-deep-themselves newscasters? Could you pull off looking better than being a blandly handsome hunk?
I think I get what Lochte meant by “if you’re going to be a man at night, you have to be a man in the morning”…and I don’t think what he was referring to was bragging about any woman he boinked at midnight, he’d boink again at dawn. I think he meant whatever fun you partake in at night has to be something you can properly assume adult responsibility for the next morning, which probably in the context of women included don’t sleep with someone you wouldn’t want to wake up with the next morning. A principle he probably gets to exercise quite often.
You know, even though I have no desire to be Ryan Lochte, it probably is a pretty nice gig being Ryan Lochte, at least right now in the prime of his athletic career.
scav
@Alison: nope, AL must have pulled it for a bit.
mouse tolliver
Well, as Matty Walker said, in Body Heat, “You’re not too bright are you? I like that in a man.”
Alison
@scav: Weird.
replicnt6
The key to swimming is the efficient use of oxygen. The (normal) brain uses a lot of oxygen. I think Ryan has a lot more oxygen available for the rest of his body.
Keith G
Thanks Cole. That was fun. BTW, Google Ryan’s interview with Jimmy Fallon.
scav
@Alison: Usual complaint about stomping.
And I’m sorry, that boy was dry, sitting comfortably and had presumably chosen to participate in an interview. Some of those weren’t softball questions, they were T-ball questions.
Violet
Can’t believe no one’s said, “Jeah!” yet. That’s Lochte’s trademark saying.
JordanRules
@cmorenc: I’m certain you can sound smarter than him.
Video still tickles me to death after my 3rd viewing.
Phoenix_rising
My kid was recruited for a swim club because she’s built like a swimmer and works out a lot. Her review of training, after 12 weeks: “The thing is, it’s kinda boring. The bottom of the pool just looks the same, no matter how many laps you do.”
Face down in 4 feet of chlorinated water isn’t entertaining for everyone, which is why the Lard provides us with some special individuals like this kid and Michael Phelps. They weren’t bored!
Keith G
@mouse tolliver: Yeah, right. There are some situations when I am sure he’d be just fine.
Edit: @replicnt6: I quit. You win.
ranchandsyrup
@replicnt6: Heh. Well done.
ETA: more shots fired in watertown. No confirmation whether related. Setting up perimeter.
TheOtherWA
Loved it, and I really needed that laugh. Thanks, John!
Violet
@ranchandsyrup: Good lord, does Kerry Sanders on NBC look bedraggled. I guess he’s been out there all day.
Baud
Ha! The press conference was a feint! /speculation
ranchandsyrup
@Violet: I think everyone’s tired on there. Been listening to the police scanner and every once in a while a car will leave its mic on and they’ll talk about being out there for 20+ hrs without relief.
jl
MP: Literary Football.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw8ZL_gcTSM&list=PLFE272190376D860B&index=19
Redshirt
Twitter tells me shots have been fired in Watertown, and a body has been found in a boat.
jank_w
Here’s something right up your alley then John, a dog eating and a laughing cameraman… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ri5cszSKEg
Amir Khalid
@scav:
Ouch. And so true.
ranchandsyrup
Lots of sirens. I think they’re firing gas rounds at a suspect that is hiding on a boat. Talk about the heat signature of a body on the boat. Told everyone to hold fire for a bit while they use dummy rounds on the boat.
? Martin
@ranchandsyrup: They’re going to shoot Louis Gohmert at him? Excellent idea!
Roger Moore
@Phoenix_rising:
The problem with swimming is lack of sensory stimulation. It’s only boring if you’re bored being alone with your thoughts. Those of us who are more introverted can find it refreshing.
ranchandsyrup
@? Martin: Ha! He is teh worstest.
cmorenc
@JordanRules:
Yes, but what sorts of stuff would you have said in response to the interviewer’s questions to indicate your superior intellect to Lochte? True, Lochte didn’t say anything to indicate he really should be at CalTech getting a Phd in physics instead of spending his time training for big-time swimming competitions, but OTOH he didn’t say anything stupid that I heard in the interview. At worst, as an earlier poster said, Lochte was manspeaking.
Lochte’s interviewers were the ones who came across as the real airheads IMHO.
ranchandsyrup
Cops are taking their time and reminding everyone that the last guy had a bomb vest on. They’re calling in the armored car.
Face
Looks like they found him dead in a boat
ranchandsyrup
@Face: lots of chatter on the scanner that he’s still moving.
Dupe70
Makes me think of the Julie Brown song…
I like ’em Big and Stupid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEU_5lVjRFQ
cmorenc
I personally found attending my kid’s summer swimming meets at our neighborhood pool and away meets at similar swim clubs to be excruciatingly boring, except for the social aspect of kibbitzing with the neighbors. I was absolutely delighted that neither pursued swimming past the age of 12, except that my older daughter decided to be on the swim team as a diver her senior year in high school. I think a one and a half from a 1m board was the height of her competitive diving accomplishments. The meets were held at an indoor pool, which reminded me how much I disliked breathing the pervasive, strong smell of chlorine for the hour and a half these meets dragged on.
David Koch
@? Martin: that would violate the geneva convention
Roger Moore
@cmorenc:
The preferred way of writing it is Caltech, with a lowercase t. Yes, we care about that stuff.
ranchandsyrup
robot going in to take cover off the boat.
jl
@cmorenc:
” At worst, as an earlier poster said, Lochte was manspeaking. ”
Excuse me, manSPLAINING.
But, I was joking around. That kind of TV is so bizarre, it is difficult to evaluate WTH is going on inside their heads. I mean, what is there to ask, or answer about a Lochte Reality Show? What has been Lochte’s claim to fame? He swims, he parties, he pals around, he is a dude-a-licious dude.
All, I can tell is, whatever it was, it was funny.
Assuming all the people involved had an IQ above room temp, they had a silly reality show promo segment to do, and like all good Americans, they went ahead and did it because it WAS THEIR JOB (Edit: dammit) !, but instead of a standard silly reality show promo segment it turned into improv theatre.
Win-win for that kind of TV.
raven
@cmorenc: The Bullpen! In my life as a recreation administrator I would have to accompany district teams to meets and it was the most mind numbing shit ever. It’s no wonder that Phelps is a stoner.
gogol's wife
@ranchandsyrup:
You’re getting all this from a scanner? I assume there’s no point in turning on the television (which I can’t stand).
Davis X. Machina
@David Koch: Ban on dum-dum projectiles?
raven
@Roger Moore: You fuckers hijacked the Rose Bowl Scoreboard when UCLA spanked my Illini. It actually it was a good thing since we were blown out!
eta Didn’t you once plant a bomb on the field?
Violet
Wonder if it’s a dog or raccoon hanging out in the boat.
ranchandsyrup
@gogol’s wife: scanner streamed online. plus following on twatters because it’s hard to decipher sometimes.
raven
@Violet: dead dog or raccoon
JPL
@raven: how is the wife?
ranchandsyrup
Went to radio silence.
Tension is crazy on here even though/especially because there have been lots of wrong paths.
Face
If this thing aint the White Hatter, the BPD will look like schmucks
raven
@JPL: Good! Sittin here hoping this shit gets resolved so we can watch a flick. She’s walking around and some and seems good. The White Tiger brought us chow and the hated Facebook has been I great way for friends and family to keep up. thanks!
lamh35
@cmorenc: the interviews I saw with Lochte were NOT poolside and a few of them were interviews after Olympics with late night host and entertainment news shows. The kid still seemed dumb as a board. So there is that?
Violet
@raven: NBC is showing feed from local Boston station. Guy just said helicopter can see the guy in the boat is moving.
raven
@Violet: Yea, they are just saying that. Wait him out if possible.
ranchandsyrup
they’re making sure the FBI K9 and the BPD canine won’t conflict which i’m taking as fight each other.
raven
@ranchandsyrup: Hmm, generally those dogs are totally under the command of their handlers.
JPL
@raven: wow.. My friends daughter, hubby, baby and dogs photo was on CNN. She lived next to a terrorist, unfortunately, and had to evacuate. My friend picked them up at 4 and they are all safe in her house a few burbs in. This has been one f..king crazy day.
ranchandsyrup
@raven: yeah i got that wrong. they were talking about which directions they would cover if the guy tries to run.
jl
@lamh35:
Or maybe just a swimmer dude with a good head for marketing and brand:
“Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt”
Attrib to Twain.
raven
@JPL: Oh good, I was wondering.
ranchandsyrup
most of the cover is off. no movement now.
raven
@ranchandsyrup: Ah, makes sense.
raven
@ranchandsyrup: They say there is a tornado watch, wind?
JordanRules
@cmorenc: Meh, it was just funny as shit to me and I think that is where his reality show editing will veer towards and he’ll be happy and paid for it. I’ve also seen other interviews in diverse situations and although I didn’t think there was a widespread perception of Olympic swimmers being dim-witted that needed defending, if there was, he ain’t the one to hang your hat on.
ranchandsyrup
getting the last of the neighbors out of the area. telling the outer perimeter to hold their fire. they can see him and he’s not moving.
ranchandsyrup
He just sat up in the boat and is flailing around. scared the heck out of me.
ranchandsyrup
SWAT and FBI arguing over whether to put flood lights on the boat or not.
Baud
@ranchandsyrup:
Where are you getting info from?
Face
@ranchandsyrup: where are you seeing these pics/vids?
ranchandsyrup
Now reporting a fire or flame on the boat. may be trying to launch something. telling tactical not to return fire while FBI uses flashbang.
ranchandsyrup
@Face: streaming bpd scanner online and following #scanner
this one lags a bit but I have spent some time on it: http://t.co/6q3QhHGKpw
ranchandsyrup
flashbang went off. no movement for now.
ranchandsyrup
2nd flashbang still no movement. can not see any fire or flame on boat.
ranchandsyrup
Discussing sending a negotiator from fbi HRT to talk.
ranchandsyrup
Still no movement. They have eyes on him and reports of blood where he is. Lying on his back on boat floor.
ranchandsyrup
Now he’s moving again. His arms at least.
MOre discussion on whether to use floodlights.
ranchandsyrup
Telling the helo to go higher and then light up the boat. “with the night sun”.
ranchandsyrup
ruh roh. They’re telling the helo that its downlink is being broadcast on the intertubes and that they should remedy it.
ranchandsyrup
Here comes the media! “We need them locked down”
ranchandsyrup
sending the helo to refuel and get secure downlink.
Sounds like the media is being a pain in the ass trying to dodge the cops and get closer to scene.
Tightening perimeter.
ranchandsyrup
slow now while waiting for teh helo to refuel. Get water to the command post!
FBI asking cops to meet them somewhere. “No you come to us”.
Talking about meeting at the “bearcat” which i think is an armored vehicle.
ETA: Lots of people on twitters asking why the police doesn’t use DROOOOOOONEZ
ranchandsyrup
Jackass media got up on a roof to try to film and got caught by PD.
ranchandsyrup
Found an unattended black bag near scene.
suspect in custody now reporting. calling for medic.
ranchandsyrup
confirmed in custody.
Following via scanner was kinda awesome. Very frustrating at times, though. I’m sure the recent updates by me prolly rankled a few and I apologize for that. A lot of adrenaline pumping. I may take smoking back up.
ranchandsyrup
Also, too, The Running Man (book) and Hunger Games (ashamed I read them) have an aspect of the grotesque fascination with manhunts for entertainment. Was thinking about them while feeling like a fly on the wall of the hunters’ HQ.