This was just as funny as you would think, maybe even funnier.
Okay, contest time. What would a Tom Friedman porn film be called? I nominate “Something Really Big Is Happening.”
— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) May 1, 2013
I liked these the best, and probably would have picked the Lexus In Miss Jones (with Steve M’s Debbie Does Davos second).
• @raouldukeinLA’s The Lexus In Miss Jones was the best Friedman-inspired homage to classic porn, with Debbie Does Davos and the many submitted takes on Insatiable (Indecipherable, Incomprehensible, Unreadable, Inscrutable) also in the running. Beyond the Green-Technology Door was a nice and subtle late entry, but simply not gross and juvenile enough to be a winner in this contest.
But the real winner is….
The winner, of course, is Thomas Friedman himself, whose very next column after this contest was announced was entitled, “This Ain’t Yogurt.”
“Jesus Fucking Christ,” noted a friend, impressed. “This Ain’t Yogurt is more obscene than anything a mere commentator could think of.”
scav
The ‘Stash of Porn for the win must already have been said!
srv
The Friedman Unit
Amir Khalid
See me, feel me, touch me …
No accident, of course.
burnspbesq
What the Taxi Driver Saw
scav
@Amir Khalid: If so, written by his taxi-driver per usual?
Keith
The Mustache of Under-ramming
Mustache Rides – $5 Million
Yatsuno
You owe me a lifetime of therapy bills Taibbi. The image of Friedman having sex…Not. Enough. Brain. Bleach. In. The. World.
Suzanne
The idea of Tom Friedman copulating at all just horrifies me so much that I can’t even think of anything funny.
Oi.
Spaghetti Lee
@burnspbesq:
Oh, nice.
Richard
So, what’s the word on the Arab street about the winning entry?
Actually, considering the nature of the contest, I guess the term “winning entry” takes on additional meaning here.
Spaghetti Lee
Rightsizing.
MaximusNYC
I guess “Suck. On. This.” is too obvious?
Scotius
I loved “The next six inches are critical.”
Mandalay
@Richard:
I hate that phrase. It may only be three words long but it’s mindless, meaningless and racist.
MattR
@Scotius: For some reason “Iran’s Greatest Weakness May Be Her Vagina” really gets me.
So was Friedman actually decent in his early years and has become a caricature of himse4lf in later years? Or was he craptastic the whole time but people didn’t realize it right away? Put another way, is From Beirut to Jerusalem worth reading?
Redshift
@Yatsuno:
Just think of it as Friedman-inspired, or Friedman-written porn. Tell yourself he stays behind the camera, and it’ll be okay…
Libby
Sorry I missed this contest. Kind of loved all the entries myself. And speaking of contests, I’m delurking briefly to ask for the BJers magic touch to help a local liberal radio host here in NC to get some funding for her show. A big vote could bring in some decent sponsors for her. It’s a one click, no registration required. Literally takes 3 seconds. Vote here please? Contest ends tomorrow.
Amir Khalid
@scav:
Uh no, it’s the next line in Tommy after the post headline.
Yatsuno
@Libby: Done! Can we vote more than once?
Haydnseek
I nominate the orgy scene in a small room involving minimally endowed females: “Hot, Flat, and Crowded.”
Warren Terra
Hilariously Friedmanesque ending to Taibbi’s piece.
Patrick
I’m sure “the next six months will be critical” will somehow be in the title.
Suzanne
I laughed my ass off at “Your Pus-y Reminds Me Of An Anecdote My Indian Caddy Told Me On A Golf Course Overlooking A Pizza Hut Billboard”.
Baud
Missed the contest. I’ll go with “Mastubatory Tails.”
Of course, that would be my nomination regardless of which Village idiot we were talking about.
Libby
@Yatsuno: Thanks. Yeah, you can vote once a day, but admit I’ve voted from twitter and then from FB and it let me vote twice in one day. But every vote helps her out. Would love to see her get back on the air.
M31
Two Olives. One Tree.
Suzanne
Anyway, I am stuck in moderation, but my favorite was “Your Pus-y Reminds Me Of An Anecdote My Indian Caddy Told Me On A Golf Course Overlooking A Pizza Hut Billboard”.
Steeplejack
“This ain’t yogurt” should be a tag.
scav
@Amir Khalid: That would explain my entire obliviousness and looking dense!
wasabi gasp
That comeback is chambers full of awesome sauce.
David Koch
“Lexus In Miss Jones”
see, there used to be a hot blonde porn star named Lexus in the mid 90s.
Bobby Thomson
Trying really hard not to laugh in this PVD restaurant But the tears are conspicuous.
Good stuff.
Bobby Thomson
Trying really hard not to laugh in this PVD restaurant But the tears are conspicuous.
Good stuff.
Cervantes
@MattR: “Craptastic the whole time” — but you knew that already, I bet.
Fred Fnord
Oh god oh god you BASTARD. You made me think of a Tom Friedman porn flick.
Drugs. I need more drugs, stat.