I saw the new Star Trek film last (grade: “Meh+”). I was surrounded by a pack of teens in the audience, most of whom at least occasionally texted someone, some of whom were constantly texting. It didn’t distract or bother me a bit because there was no sound involved, except the occasional low hum of a vibrating phone.
This morning, I saw John’s thread about the NRO douchenozzle who became so enraged with a fellow audience member’s texting at a play that he snatched the phone out of the woman’s hands and tossed it across the room. From the comments, it appears some of y’all agreed with his sentiments, if not his actions.
This puzzles me. Obviously talking on the phone during a movie or play is rude as all hell, but unless someone has the keyboard sounds thingie or alerts activated, texting is pretty soundless, isn’t it? A bright screen can be distracting, but is it any worse than a fidgetty seatmate?
I get that people who text during movies or plays aren’t following the rules. I don’t do it myself. It just seems like a small transgression in the scheme of things. I’m trying to understand why it’s a big deal.
PS: I suspect Williamson wouldn’t have been so aggressive if the offending seatmate had been a man instead of a woman (“of a certain age,” as he so creepily put it). Also, if he’d gone all Hulk-SMASH on some lady’s smartphone in Florida, she could have just shot him in the face.
Linda Featheringill
Ah, so texting can be silent. Who knew?
I think we all showed our age on this issue. :-)
Shortstop
It can be super distracting if the person’s right next to you or right in front of you. I don’t notice it as much in movie theaters, where people tend to talk and be restless anyway, but at live theater it’s a major pain in the ass. Which doesn’t in the least mitigate Williamson’s assholery.
gogol's wife
The movie theater is supposed to be dark. They light up the damn theater with their little fireflies. I don’t go to movies in theaters any more (at least since “The King’s Speech”), partly because of that, but mostly because all the movies that make it to my little burg are horrific tripe.
Hillary Rettig
i’m on team super distracting. but they don’t have to be right in front of you; they can be down below you and it’s still distracting. // i, too, have stopped going to movies as much because of sucky movies and badly behaved crowds.
harx1
@Shortstop: I agree. The light does distract you from the action on stage. I go to the theater in NYC a lot, and it’s especially bad if a person is texting intermittently. So, you’re watching a scene and then all of a sudden a row or two in front of you, there’s a bright light drawing your attention for a few seconds. And then repeat 2 minutes later? That will interfere with my enjoyment of the show.
JD Rhoades
I’d rather have teens texting than morons bringing toddlers to the theater like happened last weekend with Iron Man 3. Three kids, all under five years old, ARE NOT GOING TO BE QUIET FOR TWO HOURS, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES.
dmsilev
I remember reading about a (live performance) theater which was thinking about setting up a special social-media section explicitly for people who wanted to Tweet and whatever during the performance. The idea …was not popular.
Walker
Honestly, I find older people to be more rude in the theater than teenagers. Older women at the art house theater are the worst offenders.
Part of it is DVD culture. You watch a movie at home and it is a social experience. You can react, talk, and so on. But not (or you should not) in the movie theater.
This is why my wife and I so love the drive-in for date night. All the social experience of watching the movie together at home, but with new releases.
c u n d gulag
I was a film major for a while, and I like my theater’s completely quiet.
If it was up to me, I’d stick a gag-ball in everyone’s mouth, and duct-tape their arms to the arm-rests, and feet to the legs of the chair.
I’m old enough to remember movie ushers who snuck up to you if made a sound. They’d shine their flashlight in your eyes, stunning you like a deer on the interstate about to become road venison stew, and ask you to come with them. Where they’d ask if you had a problem, and if you did, there was the door, and thank you for this evenings movie ticket payment – too bad you’ll never find out who did it.
Do we REALLY need to be in communications with everybody we ever knew, 24 X 7 X 365?
I know I don’t.
If you simply MUST communicate in the course of your movies, please wait until you can order them from the luxury of your home, so us old fogies can enjoy the few movies we go to.
Thank you.
TFinSF
It was a musical, not a movie, right? I imagine it’s also distracting to the actors, not to mention disrespectful. Plus, if I’m spending $50+ to see a production, I sure as hell don’t need to accept random flashes of light every two minutes in my line of sight.
Of course he should have handled it like an adult, but the idiot with the phone should also consider embracing adulthood.
c u n d gulag
@Walker:
I always blame “Rocky Horror Picture Show” – the first audience participation flick.
David in NY
Pretty much anything done by a person neaby is distracting in the legitimate theater, as they used to say. Texting more than some, and less excusable — people have to blow their noses, e.g. Movies, the same, but general behavior is worse, and seems to have become more acceptable to regular movie-goers; though I don’t go to movies a lot.
Edit: Of course, following the NRO course of conduct, shoot first, negotiate later, was utterly disgusting.
Cassidy
1) I seriously doubt he grabbed her phone and threw it. I smell
bullshitembellishment.2) He most certainly would not have done it if it was a man or younger woman.
3) If you think that was even a remotely acceptable response, then fuck you. “Waah, waah, waah, I need it totally dark and silent or I just can’t enjoy the movie.” What-the fuck-ever. Build a home theater in your basement so you can ge tthe exact conditions you need or accept that other people are just as entitled to be in the space they paid for as well; your money isn’t more valuable. You odn’t get to violate their personal space or break their shit because you’re “bothered”.
ETA: Not aimed at any specific comment or commenter, but the multiple comments on this topic.
gogol's wife
But as to “Pierre and Natasha,” I don’t know where it’s playing now, but when it opened, there was a picture in the NYTimes, and it looked as if it was being performed in and around tables in a sort of cabaret setting, with lights blazing, so I have trouble understanding why this guy went ballistic over a phone. Maybe it’s now in some cathedral-like theater, but that doesn’t seem consistent with the original performance. Maybe somebody here has seen it, I don’t know.
Shortstop
@Walker: I’ve found the same thing. It’s perplexing, because older people didn’t grow up on DVDs and other formats mass produced for home viewing, so you’d think they’d behave better in movie theaters. And maybe there’s a question of hearing loss and some don’t know how loud they’re being. But every time someone is selfishly yakking through a movie I’m attending, it seems to be an old.
gogol's wife
@Cassidy:
wow, I’m surprised at this response from you. You think that just because they paid for a ticket they’re entitled to do whatever they want in the communal space?
jeffreyw
Sssh! My sis is trying to watch her inner movie.
Omnes Omnibus
People chatted through performances at the Globe. Sure, texting during a performance is rude, but it isn’t as if people today have suddenly lost manners that existed in years past.
gogol's wife
@Shortstop:
I am so sick of this ageist term “old.” If it were the racial or gender equivalent, it wouldn’t be tolerated.
El Cid
It’s pretty simple: people are paying money to see a movie.
Try not to do shit which bothers the people next to you. You can’t avoid doing so perfectly — occasional speaking, moving around, elbows bumped, sneezes, bathroom visits, a bit of food and eating noises.
But really bright lights appearing next to you and not on the screen and continual (not once or twice) electronics noises are more annoying than those, and not inevitable.
Violet
The light distracts me in movie theaters. Yes, the person next to me, the person two rows down, etc.–all of their phone lights are distracting. But if I went to see Star Trek in a multiplex I’d expect people to have their phones on because that’s what the target audience for that movie does.
As for the musical, my local theater asks everyone to turn off their phones because it’s a small place and they are very distracting to the actors, even just the light. I would guess the light would be distracting to the actors even in a larger theater.
Omnes Omnibus
@gogol’s wife: Would you prefer that people say “of a certain age?”
Patrick
As somebody else mentioned, the move theater is supposed to be dark, which makes texting so irritating. You have come there to relax, and the idiot who is texting takes that away. That and cell phones is why me and the mrs have almost totally given up going to the movie theater. Why the hell do people think it is a good idea to talk on a cell phone during a movie in a theater?
Cassidy
@gogol’s wife: I think they’re just as entitled to enjoy the space they paid for as anyone else. Are they being assholes? Absolutely, and there is nothing wrong with saying something. OTOH, I think people also have an unreasonable demand of total enjoyment compliance. A theater is a communal space, but you’re no more entitled to your exact conditions as they are.
ETA: But my issue isn’t really with people demanding the exact necessary conditions for them to relax, everyone else be damned. I’m aggravated about the asshole grabbing an older lady’s phone, supposedly, and some people agreeing with it. I’m a dick, but I’m not going to bully an older woman because she is annoying me. WTF?
Shortstop
@Cassidy: False choice. Just about the only person cheering on the guy in the other thread was the untalented critic. Everyone else was chastising his choice to
be a major, possibly criminal, asshole whose actions were inexcusable while also noting that the woman was a world-class jerk. It’s actually possible for two things to be simultaneously true.
Dr. Squid
Not if he was white. Besides, warning shots from a woman to a man get you 20 years in FL.
magurakurin
The question is more what the fuck is so important that you are texting during a movie? If something heavy duty is going on in you life…wife is in surgery, on call at the fire house….you shouldn’t be at a movie. Otherwise, turn the goddamn phone off for two hours and let the fucking world stew while you, and the people around you, enjoy the movie.
Using a phone in a theatre is major rudeness and in my kingdom it will be punished by death.
NotMax
It’s discourteous to and lessens the entertainment experience of others.
Reading on a Kindle is silent, but I don’t relish someone in the next seat in a theater doing that either.
Cassidy
@Shortstop: Possible. I didn’t read the thread completely, and I seem to remember a couple of comments saying that was awesome. I could very easily have only found those and in my haste (I had a busy evening) not get the whole thread.
Violet
@Cassidy: If they enjoyed the space by standing up and yelling at the cast members and other audience members on a regular basis would that be okay or is that too distracting for everyone? No profanity or rude comments about anyone–just loud yelling and maybe some waving and pointing. Intervals of three or four minutes between each event.
Comrade Scrutinizer
@gogol’s wife: Meh. They say old, I say whippersnapper. Fuck ’em. Kids look at me and think “old fart”. I look at them and think “I’ve done shit you’ve only seen in movies.” It all averages out.
c u n d gulag
@Violet:
As a former actor, I can tell you it’s kind of tough trying to play a role in, say, a historical play, and the light from someone texting, or their cellphone ringing, makes it a lot tougher for that actor, the other actors, and the audience, to ‘suspend disbelief.’
“Get thee to a nunnery! But first, answer that phone.”
At least in a movie, the only people distracted, are the other members of the audience.
And yes, I DO know that in Shakespeare’s time, the audiences were pretty loud, and sometimes interrupted the actors.
But, we have supposedly evolved since that time.
gogol's wife
@Omnes Omnibus:
Yep! I was taught that one in French class when I was a young.
Shortstop
@gogol’s wife: Maybe. We say “youngs” just about as often, don’t we? In this case it was just an attempt to vary the word choice, as I’d said “older people” just before it.
I’ll refrain from using it, though, as you’ve demonstrated in your comments that you’re really thoughtful about these things. If it bothers you, it bothers other people who aren’t hyperdefensive about their ages.
David in NY
@Cassidy: I think they’re entitled to enjoy the space they’ve bought in the use for which it was intended. People enjoy sexual activities in movie theaters (I’ve heard), but they used to keep it in the back row at least. The guy wanking off in the front usually got hauled off by the police.
If you’re going to a movie, watch the F’ing movie. If you want to text about it, do so after it’s over.
Violet
@Shortstop: I don’t think we say “youngs” very often. “Kids” or “Kidz” or “Kids these days’.
gogol's wife
@Shortstop:
I am not hyperdefensive about my age. I’m hyperdefensive about de-humanizing people in any category that they can’t do anything about. But I realize that you are by far not the only person using the term. More disturbing are the comments along the lines of “if only all the old people would die.”
Butch
Why are people so wedded to these stupid things? Put it down. I got rid of my cell years ago and don’t miss it a bit.
Cassidy
@Violet: No of course not, but that’s what management is for. And if they don’t handle it, or too chickenshit, you leave, demand a refund, and go elsewhere.
I love a dark, silent theater as well. I was a drama/ musical theater kid in high school. I follow the rules I was taught by my teacher(s). I also like my theaters on the chilly side, but I’m not always going to get that. Overall though, I accept that a public place, even having paid for the privilege to use it, is not going to fit every single criteria of what I expect for comfort and that toher people have paid for that space as well and may very well have a different criteria. If it gets unbearable, I leave.
ETA: I also only go to family movies with my kids. It’s rare that my wife and I get to see a movie for us. I’ve come to expect a certain level of noise from the audience and my kids and learned to still enjoy the movie. I also used to do children’s theater and expect a certain level of interaction from those ages.
Cermet
While I would not be terribly upset by texting, I see how in a dark area and in your line of vision it would be a bother; but throwing the phone of someone texting? Sorry, that cross’s a line and is not acceptable. That is criminal when you take someone’s property. Of course, that person who was texting then striking said person in return was even more criminal and the police should have been texted for… or is that phoned for?
The Star Trek movie was far better than I had feared (draged there) and was a lot of fun with few “too dumb” to believe actions; so, unlike the orginal rebook (what a joke and terrible movie that pile of sh#t was) one can watch this new plot line/story and just enjoy the action/actors. Interesting, yet another rebooting taken from the orginal “reboot” movie from the 80’s! Now that was a bit surprising (but entertaining) and offered both a fun twist on that orginal ‘reboot’ movie and, of course, creates a followup show to come later.
zirgar
Over the years, I have stood up several times, turned to the offending party or parties and told them to shut up whenever they were being to loud or being a distraction, but I would never grab someone’s personal property and do what that guy did. He crossed a line. If he’s so sensitive that someone texting during a performance bothers him he could simply have said so without being a total asshole about it. He didn’t need to damage the other person’s gear. In my opinion, HIS lack of restraint is far more distracting and bothersome than the texting ever would be.
Comrade Scrutinizer
@gogol’s wife: DEATH PANELS!!!!
David in NY
“Olds” beats “seniors” all to hell.
Shortstop
@gogol’s wife: I just said you’re NOT hyperdefensive about your age, GW.
Violet
@Cassidy:
Are you going to bully anyone because of it? A child? A man? A younger woman? Someone of a very similar age, gender, race, build as you? Anyone? It’s the bullying that really bothered me.
The guy didn’t talk to management on his own–he had his date do it. They sucked and didn’t take action (but who knows what the date even told them), so he chose to take an object from another person and destroy it. That has to be against some law. He had a lot of choices, including moving seats, talking to the management again, standing up and asking her very loudly to please turn off her phone as management requested, leaving, or even posting a scathing review of the theater management on his blog. He didn’t do any of those and instead took her phone and destroyed it. He’s an asshole and possibly a criminal.
matt
Its pretty preposterous to think that for dinner theater in a circus tent the actors would be distracted by an audience member using a phone. Stupid.
libarbarian
Not true at all.
Omnes Omnibus
@Violet:
He is a right wing pundit, isn’t he? Not that I want to stereotype people or anything.
matt
If you read williamson closely, he was beefing with the cell phone offenders for a while before confronting them about their phones.
Schlemizel
@magurakurin:
period
Hoodie
Frankly, I hate the damn things. You go to a theater to escape reality and those things are reality sticking it’s ugly little LED-backlit self into the scene. Why do you think they turn the house light down in the first place? I think texting in a theater is selfish, passive aggressive bullshit that shows little respect for others. I can excuse stuff like coughing, sneezing, shifting, etc., but those are largely involuntary actions you can’t reasonably expect people to stifle, and I always feel a bit bad for the person who has a coughing fit in the middle of a performance. Texting is a voluntary act, one you don’t need to do in a theater; why the fuck are you there if you need to do it? I was somewhat in agreement with the NRO guy until he grabbed the woman’s phone and bragged about throwing it across the room. That was crossing a line.
Cassidy
@Violet: Well of course. I was using the context of the story as reference. But yes, age, more than anything, has an impact on my actions and how I respond.
Cassidy
@libarbarian: I liked the first movie. While I enjoyed most of the Star Trek movies, I’ve never been a big fan of any of the series. I like Nu-Trek better than all of them.
But why are we talking about Star Trek when Pacific Rim is coming? Kaiju and Mecha and Idris Elba! There is nothing else.
Chyron HR
@David in NY:
Then you should have asked them to keep it down.
Eric U.
can we get some more love for “God Bless America”? Who among us hasn’t wanted to shoot everyone that was on their phone in the theater?
Schlemizel
@c u n d gulag:
One of the great Shakespearean actors (Gielgud? Oliver?) is reported to have been annoyed by an audience member while performing Richard III. WHen he came to the line “A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse” that guy laughed
The actor stepped to the apron pointed and said “Saddle yon braying ass!” to wild cheers from the crowd
J.W. Hamner
I don’t really have high expectations of behavior at a movie… I mean, movies are expensive but they aren’t that expensive. Going to the symphony on the other hand (I don’t go to the theater) I expect people to act like adults who have heard of etiquette before. If I’m going to pay that money and put on a damn suit then you can wait for a break to tweet about it. On the other hand I do largely agree that someone can mess with their phone in a reasonably unobtrusive manner, and don’t feel like I need to police the audience… but I would likely be irritated if somebody next to me was doing it.
NonyNony
@magurakurin:
You sound as old as me :) Damn kids need to be getting off my lawn.
Though I honestly don’t understand how texting in a movie theater is distracting. Talking on a cell phone absolutely. Holding your phone up to take a picture of the screen? Grod yes. People trying to record the whole movie onto their cell phone during the movie? Incredibly distracting.
But people huddled up poking at their phones I don’t even notice unless the movie is boring. Which is probably why they’re texting. I don’t recall anyone texting during Iron Man 3 the other week, but then my eyes were pretty much focused on the screen for 2 hours straight, so I wouldn’t even be able to swear that there were other people in the theater with me…
jibeaux
It was a live show, right? So, yes, not cool to light up your screen and text next to someone who’s paid good money for the show, it’s distracting. If they ignore your request, then you talk to an usher and get them involved, you don’t throw the fucking phone and get yourself kicked out of a show you paid for. This isn’t rocket surgery.
Shortstop
@Chyron HR: It’s not so much the general noise as the coming during critical plot developments. You can’t just zip back to hear what you missed, as we do at home when the hound plays with the Wubba (known in our house as The Dialogue Buster).
jibeaux
@Cassidy:
My experience with theaters is that for any one I’m going to, they call you first, ask you what temperature you want it at, then set it ten degrees fahrenheit below that.
Schlemizel
@Chyron HR:
going right for the triple entendre!
Yes, if they could keep it down they wouldn’t be doing that would they
NotMax
@matt
How incredibly condescending.
Full disclosure: Have acted both in standard theaters and in dinner theater (though long, long before cellphones).
Shortstop
@Schlemizel: Way to marginalize lesbians! Yes, I’m just messin’ with you.
Rafer Janders
@c u n d gulag:
If it was up to me, I’d stick a gag-ball in everyone’s mouth, and duct-tape their arms to the arm-rests, and feet to the legs of the chair.
I’d do the same thing. Not in the theatre, of course, but…wait, are we talking about the same thing?
hilts
“I saw the new Star Trek film last”
JJ Abrams is a flaming fucking douchebag
h/t http://news.yahoo.com/j-j-abrams-may-taken-star-wars-because-190541029.html
Schlemizel
@Shortstop:
you must frequent establishments unlike those here in the gawd-fearin frozen tundra of fly-over land. It would be dangerous for them to be that open
But, as my general has taught, me women can’t be homosexual because they don’t have little soldiers to put in their mouths (Gad I miss him & hope he is doing well – live long and prosper mon général)
Shortstop
@Rafer Janders: Again, depends on the theater. So grateful for our modern world of endless entertainment choices.
Violet
@NonyNony: Some people are very distracted by light and some are not. Ditto sound. Light is super distracting to me–I’ll wake up at the very first light in the morning and can’t sleep if someone has a light on. Just the way my brain works. In a darkened space, lights flashing on and off are super distracting to me. I see them immediately, it takes my focus away from what’s going on on the screen and thus detracts from the movie experience.
Not everyone is the same. Some people can function just fine with all sorts of light and sound around them. For me it’s very distracting and ends up ruining the experience. I can appreciate that some people don’t have such a strong reaction to it as I do, but for me it’s a real problem.
Interestingly, I saw a doctor about something several years ago and one of the questions he asked me during the very first appointment was if I was distracted by flourescent lights. I couldn’t believe it–because YES, the flickering is so visible to me and bugs the crap out of me. Apparently it’s a common issue with the patients he sees–so much so that he added it to his list as part of his diagnosis process.
Todd
Clearly, we didn’t see the same movie. I loved it, completely dorked out.
Shortstop
@Schlemizel: I have never actually had sex in a movie theater with a person of any gender. And that saddens me now, because I don’t have the flexibility I used to. Kids (younger persons), gather ye rosebuds!
Cassidy
@jibeaux: Now that’s full service.
Svensker
@Cassidy:
No. IIf you want to watch a movie, go to the movies. If you want to text or call your girlfriend or chat with your seat mate, then go someplace where people who have paid to see/hear a movie are not.
Shortstop
@jibeaux: 25.
Cassidy
@Svensker: But I’ve paid for a seat as well. How do you have more of a right to enjoy this period of time we’ve bought than I do?
aimai
@J.W. Hamner:
Its not that I have high expectations of the crowd in movies, its just that the point of going and seeing something “on the big screen” is to be swallowed up and lost in the experience and the more obstreperous and badly behaved the audience is the less you can experience the movie in “sensurround.” I’ve all but given up going out to movies. I enjoy seeing them at home, either alone or with my family, more than I enjoy seeing them as a social event or with anonymous people in a theater. It doesn’t help that theaters themselves, in my area, have become less comfortable until they are renovated, have closed altogether (the one in Harvard Square closed), force me to go to a suburban strip mall, are filled with people eating natchos, and don’t ahve a good feel for how much sound is needed (or not needed) for the size of the audience. Cranky enough for everyone here?
I also recently was astounded to see people texting during some off broadway plays.
Betty Cracker
@Todd: I enjoyed it, but I thought the first one was better. Thank dog for the great casting — the actors carried the movie.
khead
So, I’m the only one that’s pretty quit going out to see a movie?
raven
We actually have a theater that shows, you know, FILMS. Never have any issues with idiots there, hard to text and read subtitles!
Shortstop
@Cassidy: You have the right to enjoy it in voluntary, controllable ways that do not unduly impair the enjoyment of other people who have paid. In other words, your right to swing your arm ends where the next guy’s nose begins. (What is wrong with you?)
khead
Pretty much quit……. Edit fail
YellowJournalism
@Eric U.: I think that was the honest reaction of those of us who said we would be glad to see a rude person’s phone flung against the wall. Do we actually want someone to be assaulted in a theatre any more than Bobcat wants to see someone gun down a selfish teen? Of course not. I’m pretty sure some of us would even have stepped in if that were the case. Plus, as many have noted, the story seems to be a bullshit excuse to stereotype women of an older age.
For most of us, going to the movies is a huge expensive affair that we may rarely do. It costs me and my husband 12 to 15 dollars each to get in and another 20 to 30 for food. That’s 60 dollars, not including gas and babysitting costs, if we’re lucky enough to be child-free for a night. To a family of four, that’s a lot of money to have the person next to you talk or text on their phone or talk loudly about something that’s not even related to the movie. (Most memorable for me was the time a couple argued off and on during The Others about who turned the stove off. Their fight climaxed at the same time the movie did.)
And, yes, Shakespeare’s audiences were what in today’s time would be considered loud and rude. People in those times also emptied chamber pots into the public streets.
Svensker
@Cassidy:
As someone said up thread, why not have sex in the theater? Why not bring your dinner and eat that in the theater? Why not have your kid’s birthday cake ceremony in the theater?
The reason people have paid to go see the movie is because they want to see the movie. Not be part of your very special private life. Do you go to restaurants and demand everyone be quiet so you can watch a movie on your iphone?
Have we lost the idea of appropriate behavior in communal space?
aimai
I also want to add, on the subject of whether the theater is “at fault” in basically treating both the complainant and the offender the same way, or failing to police the theater–we are expecting rather a lot of people who are probably paid minimum wage, or less, and who are treated like shit by management. Given how cray-cray the public is at this point and how generally disrespectful of people in “service positions” I don’t think its fair to expect some minimum wage ticket taker/usher/janitor to face the potential anger, even violent anger, of people who already don’t seem to know how to behave in public. I’d have definitely become more afraid to confront people about rude or even dangerous behavior not because I don’t think those things are serious but because I’ve really become more and more afraid of the out-of-control people you encounter during the course of the day. There are a lot of people out there with barely controlled anger issues and at this point in most of the country you have to figure they may be armed or on a hair trigger.
Shakezula
Here’s a suggestion from a sometime theater goer – Politely mention to the distractor that they are distracting you. It ain’t dramatic, but it works.
Williamson is more full of shit than that fucknugget who claimed he almost got into it with some kids on Metro. Flinging her cellphone and the resulting outcry was less disruptive than her texting? Whatever, brave Sir Doucheclog.
NotMax
@Shortstop
Back when it used to show movies, one venerable theater here (not a porn house) had small couches in the upper section instead of regular seats, and sold tickets for the “love lounge” rather than “balcony.” Upholstery cleaning was not a high priority. Pretty gamey up there.
Have a story about a stage play I was in being forced to make use of that theater after it had sat vacant for some years, but shall save that for another day.
jon
It was a live show, dude complained to the staff during intermission, staff said they’d do something about it, activity resumed, staff did nothing, dude did what he did.
Dude overreacted, no doubt. But if staff is too uncomfortable with the rules, that’s not good. Of course, the way this dick thinks about the staff that does handle getting rid of assailed, it’s hard to sympathize even as my empathy is with him.
I work in a public library, and there are expected rules, actual rules, absolute regulations, procedures, and How Things Are. It’s not easy dealing with some people. Yesterday a toddler climbed up a shelf. A few weeks ago, a guy was doing his laundry in the sink. Yes, we have rules. And empathy. But it’s not a free-for-all. And with staffing levels where they are, we rely on customers to police each other no matter how much we are Responsible Professionals. Still, we know nothing is worse than lip-service “We’ll take care of it” followed by nothing.
Cassidy
@Shortstop: Nothing is wrong with me. I just don’t get this notion that people have that they have a right to demand that everyone conform to thier needs in a communal space. I don’t think that’s a fair or reasonable demand. If you need specific and exacting criteria to enjoy a movie, then, seriously, get a nice surround system installed, a 60+ inch television and convert some of your space into a private theater. Barring that, you have to accept that people have every right to be in a communal space and may enjoy it in a different manner.
I’ll give you another example. One of my pet peeves is short shorts and skimpy clothes on women at the gym. It’s not that I find it distracting, but I get annoyed with people trying to make a fashion statement at the gym. It’s unreasonable, I know, but it annoys me. But I’m not going to go up to them and tell them they’re violating my criteria for enjoying that space that we’ve both paid to use.
gogol's wife
@Shortstop:
Yes, I misread you, sorry.
Shortstop
@aimai: Not minimum-wage staffers, certainly. Are we allowed to expect more of management itself? If not, what possible recourse is there for enjoying the product for which we’ve paid?
different-church-lady
Here’s the thing that bugs me: how much g-damn money do these people have that they can afford to buy theater tickets and then not pay any fucking attention to the performance they paid to see?
Shortstop
@NotMax: Gross. Clearly I have been romanticizing lost opportunities.
Cassidy
@Svensker: Since when is two people having sex the equivalent of texting? What’s the difference between slurping down a ginormous cola and bigass bucket of popcorn and “eating dinner”?
magurakurin
@NonyNony:
I don’t see it as that at all. I’m totally connected. I have a cell phone, lap top, desk top, tablet. I’m online far too much. It’s not a young/old thing. But I live in Japan and have for a long time. People still have manners here. At the start of the movie it says no texting, and nobody does it. And if they did, and you told the management they would do something and apologize as well.
It’s manners, not a young/old thing. You are told to turn off your phone when you enter the theatre. If you don’t you are an ill-mannered asshole no matter your age.
Cassidy
@Shortstop: I learned a long time ago to never think about what has taken place in the seat I’m about to sit in at the theater or the bed in a hotel room. A cursory exam for stains and/or stickiness happens. Once the superificial appearance of clean is met, I put it out of my mind.
c u n d gulag
@Schlemizel: Great story! I’d never heard that one before – THANKS!!!
magurakurin
@Cassidy: Because you are told not to do it when you enter the theater. You are violating a rule. You are being a dick. It’s pretty fucking simple.
Ash Can
Texting during a movie is NOT the same as texting during a live performance. Texting during a movie can be annoying and distracting to those around you because of the light from the screen, but texting during a live performance can be annoying and distracting to the performers themselves, and *that* is inexcusable. Having said that, I do think that grabbing the phone and throwing it was a step too far. It should have been up to the theater management to make the woman comply with the theater’s own rules.
@Cassidy:
As long as all you’re doing is enjoying the performance along with everyone else — reacting to the action, eating if allowed, not doing anything to make yourself the show and compete with what everyone else is watching — you’re good.
jon
@jon: “assailed” was assholes before the autocorrecting monster did its thing.
Cassidy
@magurakurin: So, you’ve never exceeded the speed limit? Had a little too much to drink at a restaurant and been loud? Never tailgated anyone or forgotten to use your blinker? Farted in an elevator or the bank line? Used the handicap stall? Gone through the express checkout lane with mor than 10 or 20 items? etc., etc., etc.
We all do things that violate “the rules”. We only get pissed about it when it impacts us.
Cassidy
@Ash Can: So as long sa I meet and maintain your narrow criteria….
Rafer Janders
@aimai:
have closed altogether (the one in Harvard Square closed),
gogol's wife
OKAY EVERYONE LOOK AT THE PICTURE AT THIS LINK IN THE NYTIMES:
http://theater.nytimes.com/2013/05/17/theater/reviews/natasha-pierre-and-the-great-comet-of-1812-at-kazino.html?ref=arts&_r=0
It’s from the review of “Pierre and Natasha” today. It shows people sitting at tables in a cabaret to view this “pop opera,” during which dinner is served. Does this look like a setting in which a lighted phone screen would upset anyone’s concentration? So the story that originated this whole discussion is just ridiculous. Which doesn’t change the fact that people with lighted screens in a darkened movie theater are jerks.
Shortstop
Someone mentioned Dunning Kruger somewhere. Now I can’t stop thinking of it.
jon
@hilts: That article looks like CBS wanted to remind others that they exist. Billionaire corporation says millionaire producer leaving production at billionaire studio to work at another billionaire studio franchise is related to greed? There will be hurt feewings, and dwastic consequences for the upstart!
gogol's wife
@Cassidy:
Actually I have never done any of those things.
aimai
@Shortstop: I think you radically misunderstand what the theater thinks they are obligated to offer you in exchange for your money. They make most of the money off the concessions–the actual seat and viewing are practically loss leaders. A famous actor whose name escapes me at this point tells the story of how his family went into the theater business at the dawn of movies: his mother was struck by the fact that people paid first for a product they couldn’t know they would enjoy. It seemed to her that this was the business to be in: a business where you got the customer’s money upfront and basically told them to go screw themselves if it didn’t live up to expectations.
At any rate with the deskilling and the general level of oppression I don’t see that much difference between so called “managment” and the lower level workers at the movie theater. I’m not saying you shouldn’t complain–I think you should. But basically I voted with my feet some time ago for just this reason. And theaters haven’t missed me at all. If they did they would advertise to people like me:
“Come back to the theater! Its quiet and comfortable and you will be surrounded by people like you who will respectfully watch the screen instead of gossiping, arguing,complaining, or lecturing. Our ushers guarantee you a pleasant experience.”
They don’t because they don’t have to–they aren’t competing for my dollars they are competing for the dollars of tweens and young men: bigger, louder, boomier, more sodas and foodier.
aimai
@Rafer Janders:
Yes. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. Our theater passed away last year. Hugo was the last movie playing there and we saw it the day before the theater closed, I think.
NotMax
@Cassidy
It’s about adhering to generally accepted expectations of mutual behavior in a communal venue (including limitations on personal action), not about some narrow list of absolutist criteria. Payment in the theater is for the seat and the performance, not for whatever use of the space someone may deem gratifying
Short shorts and a sports bra (or bike shorts and a wifebeater, for that matter) would be disrepectful of such a mutuality at a vast majority of funerals, for example, but perfectly within reason at other locales.
gelfling545
Annoying things happen every day & in most places to most people. Supposedly, someone old enough to be out and about on his own is able to handle annoyances without having a tantrum. It would be lovely if all our fellow theatre-goers, shoppers, diners, etc. were as perfect as we ourselves but that won’t occur anytime soon. Sometimes you just have to deal with it and complain in a blog afterwards. I don’t see what this man did as less distracting than texting in the theatre.
aimai
@NotMax:
Isn’t now the right time to remind everyone of what dinner theater is like?
Ash Can
@Cassidy: Those are the narrow criteria called acceptable manners. There’s no excuse for not adhering to them. None.
different-church-lady
@Rafer Janders: The Lowe’s owned one closed. The Brattle is still there. In fact, the Brattle is trying to raise funds to go to digital projection.
Cassidy
@NotMax: I don’t entirely disagree with that, but what I’m getting from our fellow BJer’s is “SHUTUP! SILENCE! DO NOT DO ANYTHING IN THE THEATER THAT WILL RUIN MY EXPEZRIENCE!” and it seems to compeltely ignore that those people have also paid for said experience and may be enjoying it in another manner. So, you either have to be flexible with your expectations and accept that you’re not going to get 100% of your upkeep or don’t share communal space.
It’s about attitude. There is nothign wrong with expecting that your fellow theater patrons are going to be respectful of one another by trying not to eat loudly, not using their phone unless an emergency warrants it, etc., but their is a differnece between a group consensus to be cool and absolutely demanding that everyone conform to your particular needs. One is a matter of good community, the other is high maintenance.
Shortstop
@aimai: We’re talking about two things in this and all other threads on this topic: movies and live theater. One has a home replacement and the other doesn’t. What is your suggestion for dealing with people who won’t let you enjoy the latter? Get a costume box and have the kids stage productions in the garage?
Svensker
@Cassidy:
Bottom line: remind me not to go to a theater where you’ll be.
Tripod
So cinema is a glorious communal experience until lit becomes a communal experience?
Cassidy
@Ash Can:
Hehehehe….reminds me of a Tosh bit.
Cassidy
@Svensker: Don’t worry, I don’t try and socialize with high maintenance people. ;)
ETA: Kidding. Relax.
Robert
I teach musical theater and write about film for a living. Cellphones should be off during performances and screenings. Period. If you can’t pull yourself away from the world for two hours because you’re so important, don’t waste everyone else’s time with your douchebag warning beacon going off, even without noise, in a pitch black space. It’s rude. It is distracting–especially in a low light scene–as your eye will gravitate toward the light.
You can block out a shadow moving in the theater but you can’t block out a bright light competing with the action onstage/onscreen.
And to really stress it, for live performances, it’s a safety hazard. Actors are human. They make mistakes like everyone else. Do you really want to be the ass who causes the lead to fall off the stage in the middle of the show because your cellphone light distracted them in the middle of a big dance number? Because it happens. It happens at every level of theater and it’s incredibly dangerous to everyone working on the show. That doesn’t even get into how cellphones can mess with wireless microphone systems and cause feedback or dropped mics. Top regional theaters, Broadway, West End, etc. can afford the mics on custom channels; everyone else probably can’t.
The rule is don’t be a total ass in a darkened theater. You wouldn’t whip out a giant flash light and point it at everyone sitting behind you in a theater. Why would you think it’s acceptable to do the same thing with a cellphone? Show a little respect. I didn’t pay $12.50/$60+ to watch you check your e-mail during an entertainment event.
NotMax
@aimai
Love it.
Played Cromwell in a dinner theater presentation of A Man for All Seasons. Easy to imagine the level of concentration that entailed.
Hillary Rettig
@c u n d gulag: obviously you studied A Clockwork Orange. ;-) would you prop people’s eyes open and give them drops, too?@
Cassidy: The light-up of a cell phone is *designed* specifically to be disruptive and grab your attention. It works in daylight, and doubly so in the darkness of a theater.
Beyond that, life does seem to go better for everyone when we all extend ourselves a bit for the other person. And, no: it’s not the 95% of polite attendees’ responsibily to extend themselves to the disruptive cell users, but the reverse. Cell phone use in theaters isn’t a civil right.
aimai
@Shortstop:
Well, I’m the person on this thread who has seen people texting during a live, off broadway, production. In live theater I have no hesitation in asking other patrons, politely, to knock it off or reporting them to the management and I expect the management to intervene. Its been my experience that they will and that the ushers are also more experienced and more determined to protect the experience of the theatergoers and the interests of the actors.
My point about movie theaters is that (although I disagree with Cassidy’s blanket refusal to entertain the notion that there are obviously out-of-bounds behaviors even in the modern movie theater experience) basically mores about public spaces are quite regional and even ethnic and age specific. There are people who see the theater–live and film and even academic lectures–as a place where exhortations, amens, encouragement and booing are quite appropriate. Some movies even seem to want that kind of interaction with the experience–Rocky Horror Picture show comes to mind as well as other cult classics.
The experience of seeing a movie in a large theater is just not going to be like the experience we think we remember being entitled to: its not a cathedral or a library, its a zoo like most of American public culture at this point. If you don’t like it–and I don’t–then you just have to pretty much stay home or pick your theater to be sure that it appeals (in terms of its location and its feeder population) to people you think will be just like yourself and respond to the movie and the setting of the movie in a way you think is appropriate.
Tripod
The good ol’ dayz =:No light traps. The light pollution in an older house from customers getting up to take a piss, or refill the enormo cup is way worse than anybody fucking around with a handheld.
Violet
@Cassidy:
But if I paid for my ticket and enjoy it by standing up in the middle of the theater and commenting loudly on everything I see while waving a flashlight, then why can’t I do that? I paid for my ticket just like you and maybe that’s how I enjoy watching shows. How is that any different?
If it is different because it’s rude and inconsiderate to everyone else in the theater then what we’re talking about is where the line is for audience members being rude and inconsiderate, not if there is a line. You think using phones is not rude; others think it is. you’re talking about where that line is, not whether or not the line exists.
Loviatar, Firebagger
I saw this yesterday on OTB and this morning here and all I could think was; it has to be a bunch of white people making these noises. No bragging, because it could get down right scary, but in my old neighborhood just shushing somebody was an invite to a beat down. Snatching and breaking someones phone was a death wish, seriously a death wish. smh
Williamson was lucky, the young lady obviously didn’t have any male relatives or friends within reasonable driving distance. For all you keyboard commandos please keep your big talk to the internet, and your hands to yourselves.
Cassidy
@aimai: Meh…I acknowledged early on that there is a polite way to enjoy the theater, live or cinema, and I hold myself to those standards. I just don’t see the point in being so high maintenance that going out is a chore.
I have PTSD and get really *irritable/ antsy in crowds, although I’m getting better; it’s only taken 8 years. So, is it fair that I demand everyone accomodate me? Is it fair to demand that everyone conform to what I need to feel comfortable in public? No, it isn’t and I have an actual dignoses. When I came back from my first tour in Iraq, we did just that: we didn’t go out in public much. I was happy to stay in and my wife and kids didn’t want to deal with me in public; it was bad. Believe me, if I can get over, or at least control, the hypervigilance, then any of you can put up with a cell phone screen and some texting.
*No, I don’t do that dumbass shit of not sitting with my back to a door and all that other movie/ TV crap. I just get very uncomfortable surrounded by large groups with so much sensory input it’s hard to keep track of everyone. And I did hit the floor board of the car when the canon went off signifying the end of the day. That’s a funny story in hindsight.
Cassidy
@Violet: You’re right. Like I said earlier, it’s an atitude thing. Instead of approaching a situation with a “I paid for this and demand these specifications to enjoy it”, I think a more communal effort for everyone to enjoy that sliver of time we’re sharing a space is more beneficial.
ETA: Fuck I need to learn to type or spell. I’m editing every single damn comment.
aimai
@Loviatar, Firebagger:
Yes. I was thinking this as well–not from your end but from the other. You could tell at once that Kevin Williamson had to be white and in a largely white space because if he’d been Ta Nehisi Coates (for example) he wouldn’t have been in a position to be grabbing a white lady’s phone and acting all uppity and angry and violent. That kind of thing is dangerous–its a sign of how truly, pathetically, obviously, not manly/dangerous Williamson knows himself to be that he felt free to act out in this way. Anybody from a “suspect class” like young or minority men knows to keep his hands to himself in public if he doesn’t think he can defend himself against violent repression by the authorities.
JoyfulA
I wonder if he hit anyone with the phone he threw.
aimai
@Cassidy:
I don’t disagree with that at all–in fact this point came up recently in another right wing rant about people bringing babies to the theater,—a practice which I abominate. One is personally better off and has lower blood pressure if one just lets this stuff slide off one’s shoulder. It helps a lot of you imagine the other person’s point of view sympathetically, rather than jumping to a hostile version. I find myself smiling indulgently at parents who are out with a newborn seeing a horrible, loud, movie. I try to think “Oh, yeah, I know how hard that period is and how isolating. Its nice they are getting out of the house and trying to have a date even if they have to bring the baby with them.” If I start out with a good thought about the other person’s issues and intentions I can usually handle the noise and frustration of their actual presence during the movie.
Hillary Rettig
@Shortstop: DK explains *everything.*
Maus
“A bright screen can be distracting, but is it any worse than a fidgetty seatmate”
Definitely worse. My eye is drawn to bright light much more than subtle motion.
I mean, there’s nothing exclusively Republican about being cranky about rude or annoying teenagers.
lojasmo
Sit still, be quiet, put the phone on airplane mode.
My last movie experience: A family of six with small kids. The mom and dad had a contest during the previews of shouting out the movie name as soon as they figured it out. Unfortunately, they BOTH did it, for each movie. The kid behind me kicked my seat through the entire fucking movie.
It was lovely.
kc
How fucking hard is it to wait until the movie (or play) is over to text?
danielx
@Omnes Omnibus:
From what I’ve read, people did a lot worse than that at the Globe, especially if they didn’t like the play or one of the players.
estamm
There is a special place in hell, probably around the 3rd circle, for people who use their phone for any reason why the movie (or play or concert) is in progress. Drawing and quartering is too good for people who do that.
Betty Cracker
@Maus: That must be an individual preference thing, then. I find it much more distracting if someone bounces their leg up and down the entire time. I find a lit phone screen easy to ignore.
Loviatar, Firebagger
When you have very little, the little you have means alot. In my old neighborhood your pride sometimes was all you had, so when you scraped up a few dollars to go to the movies and some fool is shushing you the conversation could quickly denigrate to;
shush
what
shush
no, you shut up
fuck you,
no fuck you and your mother.
what you talking about my mother.
Bamm, a brawl breaks out in the theater. I’ve seen the same thing happen on the basketball court, schoolyard, beach, grocery store, etc. I’ve learned if someones annoying you, complain to the authorities, try to ignore them and if possible separate yourself from the annoying situation. At the end of the day its not worth it.
schrodinger's cat
Frankly people texting does not bother me that much. Much less annoying than actually talking on the phone. I can’t believe that some people were actually defending this obnoxious person. Yes the woman’s texting was rude but what the NRO blogger did was beyond rude and must have been scary as hell for that woman. Good to know that if he doesn’t approve of your make-up or your choice of shoes or your age, he feels free to get into your personal space and destroy your property. I hope that the woman presses charges.
Mnemosyne
@Cassidy:
Actually, the equivalent would be the person at the gym who sits on the exercise bike and texts instead of actually using the equipment. Is that okay with you? After all, they paid to use the gym any way they like, so if they would rather use the exercise bike as a chair, then that’s not rude at all, yes?
schrodinger's cat
@Betty Cracker: Did you get your new AC set up?
schrodinger's cat
@Cassidy: Doesn’t your gym have a dress code?
Mnemosyne
Also, too, I don’t mind people who are “being loud” and talking back to the movie itself. That can be part of the audience participation, especially in things like horror movies or comedies.
It’s when you’re stuck in front of a couple of “And then I says to Mabel, I says …” idiots who aren’t even watching the movie. If you want to chitchat, go to fucking Starbucks and let the rest of us watch the movie.
Cassidy
@Mnemosyne: That’s what the 30 minute time limit is for. :D
Seriously, no it doesn’t. And don’t get me wrong, but I am a guy. A chick in short shorts making sure she’s dressed to show off her assets is much more distracting than someone on an exercise bike piddling away while they text. And that’s the context: is this activity distracting me form my enjoyment. No, a pair of short shorts doesn’t distract me. it is a pet peeve of mine, because I think the intent is not in the spirit of the gym, but to each his own. I’m their to work out, not be impressed with fashionable athletic wear.
Betty Cracker
@schrodinger’s cat: I did! And not a moment too soon: It’s supposed to hit 90 degrees this weekend.
Cassidy
@schrodinger’s cat: Women’s athletic wear tends to run to sports bras, moisture wicking (tight) shirts and short shorts. The shorts can be practical if you’re running or doing squat type exercises as the material doesn’t bunch up on your thighs. But, I’ve also seen more practical women’s workout attire and I assume that when women don’t wear it, it’s because of our society’s expectation that women will always try and dress sexy or the woman’s intent to try and be sexy when she should be working out.
Either way, I’m making an assumption, that could be complete bullshit, and I don’t say anything. Live and let live.
Betty Cracker
@Mnemosyne: One of my favorite anecdotes from Kurt Vonnegut was his account of being at the symphony near two women who were verbally swapping recipes, shouting to hear each other at the crescendo, when suddenly the orchestra fell silent and one woman inadvertently screamed “I FRY MINE IN BUTTER!’ to the entire audience.
StringOnAStick
We quit going to movies years ago, after my husband asked the guy (who was in his 50’s) behind us to “keep it down” because he was talking during the beginning of a movie where the beginning had hard to hear dialog that was consequential. After my husband asked, and he was polite about it, the guy spent the next 10 minutes throwing popcorn at the back of my husband’s head.
We left the theatre, told management (who was maybe 20 years old) who offered to toss the guy if we’d ID him. We opted for waiting a few minutes and watching the same movie in another part of the multi-plex because (1) why disrupt everyone else’s experience by having the usher march in there with us and proceed to kick this guy out, (2) this guy and his buddies would probably wait outside the theatre to kick our asses after the movie was over, (3) my husband needed a few minutes to tamp his rage down, and (4) fuck it, who needs the stress.
Thanks to this, I have managed to avoid the serious level of annoyance at texters and talkers, and especially crying kids. We don’t see first run stuff and you know, after some time I didn’t crave the “new movie” experience anymore; its just not worth it to us now. In some ways it sucks, because I always loved movies and getting lost in the film experience, but I have to agree with aimai: there are just too many people on hair trigger now and I’d rather not become part of their personal revenge fantasy because I pointed out their thoughtless narcicism.
schrodinger's cat
@Cassidy: Since I am a woman I don’t have your problem and in my gym you can’t just wear a sports bra, your midriff has to be covered.
FoxinSocks
Jumping in to agree with the other commenters: 1) Texting is super-distracting and super-rude. 2) I’ve pretty much given up going to the movies because of things like that. And I used to go to the movies once a week.
I have a theater one block from my house that I can’t even visit because they specifically told me they won’t say anything to anybody who talks on the phone/texts/brings little kids to an adult movie and the kids are then loud and bored. An Alamo Drafthouse just opened an hour away. If one opens a little closer, I’ll start going to that, because once someone starts texting/talking/etc. it breaks my concentration and I can no longer focus on the movie.
Sentient Puddle
Yes.
And further, the distinction between whether it’s a minor distraction or a major one is largely pointless. You paid to see the movie/play/whatever, so you should be focusing on that rather than your phone. There shouldn’t even be a point where this distraction even enters the equation to begin with.
I pointed out in that thread last night that a local theater chain does not tolerate this crap. It makes the experience so much better that I just don’t have any patience for people texting in theaters any more.
Re: sex in theaters: They also have a PSA for that too.
scuffletuffle
@jeffreyw: ZOMG, toooooo cuuuuuuuute!
Cassidy
@Sentient Puddle: If only everyone were making sure to do what you think they should be doing…with the money they spent. Maybe they should focus on what they think they should eb doing with their own time and money.
Sentient Puddle
@Cassidy: If people want to waste their money, I don’t give a crap. Just don’t bother me when you do.
Kiril
@gogol’s wife: Of course, you realize that the only people who use old as a noun are old people themselves, right? (And sometimes bloggers.) I mean, they might not be quite as old as the people they are talking about, but they are most definitely not young. Like back in the day the only people who really ever said “parental units” were parents trying to be ironically hip.
Cassidy
@Sentient Puddle: Like I’ve been saying. Don’t be high maintenance in public. It sours the mood.
Peter
I recently saw a community theatre performance of the HMS Pinafore at the theatre in Algonquin College’s new student center. And when I popped out my phone to check my email one last time before the house lights went down, I found that the theater had been built in such a way that it completely blocked all cell phone signals. I had full bars outside, but when I walked inside they vanished. Struck me as pretty brilliant.
That said, I honestly don’t find cell phone backlights noticeable or distracting. Different strokes, I suppose.
JR in WV
@Omnes Omnibus:
I would prefer that you not be ageist, or sexist, or racist… people of all descriptions misbehave all the time, in more-or-less the same places and ways of being annoying. The idea that older attendees make more noise in theaters is absurd!
Humanity is equal opportunity in it’s annoyance!
Larkspur
@StringOnAStick: I don’t go to movies or live theater much mainly because of the expense, but when I encounter problems like that elsewhere, I tend to react the way you did. I basically ask myself what I can do to mitigate the irritation and what is likely to make things more comfortable for me. Usually it isn’t confronting someone. I’ll change seats or move away first. If that isn’t an option, then I’ll do my best to assess the situation: is this person being thoughtless or hostile? Clueless or thuggish? Depending on my guess about the risk, I’ll say something, and usually I’ll say it in a way that gives the person an out. You don’t want to block a metaphorical exit, after all.
I remember reading a book by that style guy Tim Gunn (I like him even though he’d hate my clothes). He was talking about the astounding rudeness of someone at a restaurant in which he was having lunch. He heard the distinctive sound of nail clippers. Yes, in a restaurant at lunch. He was appalled at how inconsiderate and gross it was, and how disgusting it was to imagine a crescent-shaped keratinized fragment landing in his soup. I kept waiting for him to tell how he dealt with it, but he never said. I think he just settled for being appalled.
I’m a non-confrontational wimp, for the most part, but I’d have gotten up and circled the room till I found the offender, and I’d have told him to stop right this instant, right the fuck now. If he resisted, I’d raise my voice. But this would be a pretty safe situation: nobody wants to get hit by flying fingernails. They may not want to cause a scene, but if a scene happens, they’re not going to side with the nail-person.
As for behavior that seems to be getting normalized, like 24/7 texting, that’s tougher, and you really have to pick your battles.
Bettencourt
Pretty much every theater chain I go to has a sign/slide that explicitly tells people not to text or talk during the film.
And as a 51-year-old, I must agree with other people’s observation that filmgoers of retirement age do tend to be the talkiest (though admittedly, I tend to go to matinees where older filmgoers are found, not evening shows which attract younger audiences, so I may be experiencing a skewed sample).
El Cid
I don’t see why it’s anyone else’s business that I like farting in bakeries. I have every bit of right to be there as anyone else, and it’s not my concern just because someone wants to smell pastries or fresh breads. Whenever I really, really need to fart, I prefer to head straight into a bakery and fart right in front of the counter. There’s no law against that. People need to get over it.
tommyspoon
Betty, speaking as an actor, I applaud what that gentleman did. Because I can’t. I’m a little busy making a fool out of myself for your amusement. ;-)
Seriously, of course I don’t condone acts of violence or destruction of property. The house managers failed to do their job and evict that person from the theater. And a bright screen is REALLY distracting to some of us — onstage and in the house.
Also too: Would you want distracted actors executing a rapier duel no less than 10 feet from you? TMYK
schrodinger's cat
Wow BJ has a lot of anti-texting curmudgeonly peeps. Who could have knowed.
Jamey
Also, if he’d gone all Hulk-SMASH on some lady’s smartphone in Florida, she
couldshould have just shot him in the face.fix’t
Bettencourt
@schrodinger’s cat: I’m happy for people to text while riding the bus, while walking down the street (maybe not on the crosswalk) or while a passenger in a car, or in their home, or waiting at the doctor’s office, or sitting in the cubicle next to mine.
But I feel the same about people texting during a movie as I would if they began reading a kindle or lit up a glow stick. It’s rude and distracting and if they don’t want to watch the movie they should just leave the damn theater.
That said, I prefer to change seats or block my view of the texter (my hooded sweatshirt is good for this) rather than confronting people, both because I’m a coward and because I don’t think it’s my place to tell strangers what to do (mild-mannered as I am, I’ve learned the hard way that it NEVER turns out well).
However, I did make an exception for the middle-aged man sitting a few seats from me who had his phone up for several minutes as he read texts as the spinning hotel scene from INCEPTION was about to start, but I simply said “Please turn that off!” rather than grabbing his phone or physically interacting with him in any way.
Bill
I go to movies a lot. Often with my kids. And I can honestly say that I’ve never even noticed if anyone is using their phone during movies. Given the light eminating from the GIANT screen, combined with very LOUD sound system in modern theaters, it’s beyond me how the backlight from a cell phone could be distracting.
I have a job that often requires I be reachable at all times. So sometimes I have to make choices like; “Either I take my kids to a movie and occassionally check my email, or I don’t take my kids out.” Sorry to all of you advocating zero tolerence for lights in movies, but I tend to err on the side of taking my kids to do what they like.
I always check the phone discreetly, and step out of the theater if I have to respond or take a call, but I admit to exposing the theater to the blinding light of my Iphone every so often. doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.
Mnemosyne
@Cassidy:
Ah, see, that’s where we differ. My context is: is this person enjoying the activity in their own way (say, by shouting “Don’t go up the stairs!” at the screen), or are they doing something else entirely?
So the guys wearing bike shorts and no jock strap or underwear at the gym annoy me far less than the people who are occupying the equipment to do things other than exercise. Unless those guys forget to wipe their ball sweat off the machine after they use it, which frankly is just plain disgusting in addition to being rude.
Mnemosyne
@Bill:
You should sit in an aisle seat and quietly move to the back of the theater whenever you want to check your email rather than checking it from your seat. Yes, having someone stand up and move is actually less distracting than having a bright light suddenly flare inside a dark room.
Mnemosyne
Also, too, Betty, can we get a general venting thread about public rudeness pet peeves? Because if I ever catch one of those bitches who pee all over a public restroom seat without wiping it up, I am going to give her the smackdown of her life. Said smackdown will include stuffing the toilet paper I just had to use to clean up her urine down her goddamned throat.
schrodinger's cat
@Bettencourt: I was just teasing, I am as ornery as any curmudgeon.
Betty Cracker
@Mnemosyne:
See, this must be one of those personal preference things, or maybe I’m just an oddball, but having someone pop up and down to check their email in the back of the theater would be 10,000 more distracting to me. I’m with you on the seat-pee-ers, though. I’d gladly give them a swirly.
Cassidy
@Mnemosyne: Ball sweat is a good place to draw the line.
LanceThruster
It’s death by a thousand paper cuts. It’s pretty clear what the optimal behavior is (sit and watch the movie/play you and everyone else paid for), and what activities cross the threshhold as far as a distraction goes. If you overlook the texting (light, endless keystokes – soundless or not…certainly visually distracting), you still have a situation where the audience was reqested to turn off phones, pagers, and electronic devices.
This could not be more straight forward. That people cannot even adhere to this simple request is part of the problem.
Svensker
@Mnemosyne:
You are my soulmate!
Bettencourt
People can certainly hold their phones below knee level to check their texts discreetly, trying to block the light from other patrons, and cause as little distraction as possible. But more often, they hold them up at chest or even eye level as if they’re taking a cell phone photo of the movie.
Since I see over 200 movies a year in the theater, this is obviously a greater problem for me than climate change, income inequality, voter suppression or child poverty. (and since I do indeed see that many movies, the term “obsessive-compulsive” might be an appropriate way to describe me). But enough about me…
aimai
@Cassidy: I’m sure I’m not the only person to say what the fucking fuck? Really, a woman choosing how she dresses for her workout, or before or after it, is violating the spirit of the work out? Unlike the hypermasculine homosocial guys who work out their fetishes at the gym? Because you aren’t attracted to them so you don’t actually see them at all? Or the older women whose assets you find distasteful or uninteresting? What are they supposed to do so they don’t attract your ire…wear a burka?
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
@aimai: There’s the people at the gym who are there to work out, usually in sloppy, comfortable, non-binding clothes, and then there are the people who are there to be seen, who treat the gym like a cool place to pick up the opposite sex. It’s why I went through about half the gyms in the area before landing at the one I use.
Mnemosyne
@Bettencourt:
This right here. There is a polite way to check your phone or your e-mail in the middle of a performance if you absolutely must do it, but a whole lot of people just whip out the phone and turn it on, blinding the person in the row behind them.
Cassidy
@Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism: Yup.
@aimai: Dint be so quick to judge. Honestly, I prefer gyms with a late population of older and fat people. I like to be surrounded by people who are at the gym to be healthy/ get healthier. I’m not their to pick up or ogle women. I avoid gyms with lots of young people.
Cassidy
@aimai: Also, you can tell who, both men and women, made sure they were made up and fashionable before they arrived and who came to get sweaty and dirty.
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
@Cassidy:
Which doesn’t exclude form-fitting clothes, but does usually exclude form-fitting designer clothes. We have a woman at our gym who does show up in short shorts and spaghetti strap tank tops. She’s NG and works hard to make sure she’ll pass her PT.
On the original topic, I’ll get annoyed by someone in front of me running their phone. In IM3 a couple of weeks ago, it was distracting enough that I wondered aloud on the way home why someone would pay to sit in a theater and watch YouTube videos.
PG
I can’t believe that the OP can’t see why this is a big deal.
“At least texting is silent”. Sorry, I’m not going to thank you for only giving me a punch in the nose instead of a poke in the eye.
Texting is a big distraction. The light from the phone pierces through what is SUPPOSED to be complete darkness that allows you to lose yourself in the movie on the screen. Talking is a big distraction. Phones ringing are a big distraction. Six month old babies crying are a big distraction.
They’re all loathsome, and I for one am not grading on a curve. It all speaks to the narcissism that begins with modern advertising and everything that says “it’s all about you.” I for one sush the talkers and keep telling those with phones on to turn them off. I haven’t lost the will to fight to keep the theater the way it’s supposed to be…..a dark and quiet place where people go to WATCH and LISTEN to the movie.
Ryan C
@Cassidy: Your workout is disrupted because of the way women dress? That’s just creepy. Seriously. Creepy.
Cassidy
@Ryan C: it’s not disrupted at all. I said it was a pet peeve.
Rob Lll
@PG:
Marry me?