Me.
I’ve been fap-fap-fapping all night long, including a lengthy exegesis on why I am a wonderful liberal, and the whole night, other than lying down for a while so I could take mocking photos and talking trash shit about him, Tunch has been on my tip all night. I thought he just wanted another furmination since I basically furminate him every couple of days and if it goes three days without it he gets aggressive and makes it known he needs a brushing, so after the last post I took him outside for a rubdown.
He was patient, then walked over to his food bowl on the table, and you guessed it.
His asshole owner had let his food bowl go completely empty. I suck.
One step forward, three steps back. The story of my life.
YellowJournalism
Maybe one time you forget, and he eats the scratching post. Two problems solved!
Roger Moore
If the worst thing you’ve done today is to forget to feed your cat for a while, you’re ahead of the pack.
Yatsuno
He could have chosen to extract his vengeance with his mighty paw. Instead he iz forgiving kitteh. I don’t recommend letting it happen again. And wifey is gonna kick you.
Mnemosyne
Don’t worry, he’ll have his revenge later when he horks up a hairball in the exact path you take to the bathroom in the morning so you can step on it. He will have the perfect timing to know when it will still be wet and squishy but also cold to the touch when you step on it with your bare foot.
asiangrrlMN
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU LET TUNCHIE’S FOOD BOWL GO EMPTY YOU ARE THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD. YOU BETTER GIVE HIM SOME TUNA TO MAKE UP FOR IT.
::kick kick kick::
NotMax
Tell him he didn’t finish it once, so you sent the food to starving cats in China.
Also too, avoid visiting Tunch’s Facebook page for a couple of days.
Hill Dweller
After the hacks at Politico wrote their tantrum and claimed the Beltway was going to pummel Obama, it was satisfying to see Jonathan Karl/ABC shit the bed and CBS call out the wingnut lies.
Also, too, Howie Kurtz was on twitter tonight wonder why Obama didn’t fire the head of the IRS on Monday. The IG report hadn’t even come out yet…
Suzanne
Chillax. It certainly isn’t urgent. Have you seen the damn cat? You could wait a week and I’m sure he’d be okay.
FIX SITE ON IPAD. PLEEZ.
Yatsuno
@asiangrrlMN: Sushi-grade ahi or GTFO.
NotMax
mistemix’s (he who managed the switchover) recommendation was that iPad users use the mobile version of the site.
Not a solution, but may be more amenable to your tablet.
sfinny
I fed my cat and yet a couple of hours later heard the clanking of feed plates. Guess it was not what he wanted. Fed him more. Still more clanking. Turns out he just wanted out into the hallway for a little while. So yes, I stand in the open door waiting for him to explore the hallway.
piratedan
enjoyed the Chris Hayes take down of all of the “supposed” scandals that are “dragging down” the Obama administration and love how succinctly the points were made by his panel of guests…
Benghazi – A Nothingburger, all smoking guns lead to the cut in security funding for State Dept employees, issued by guess who… the people trying to manufacture a scandal from it.
The IRS – Local dudes run amok and Obama calls onto the carpet the guy in charge and gets his resignation thereby forcing the Repubs to now review and address the IRS and allow or deny the next director, who Obama gets to appoint or else they’ll be allowing the same scenario that caused it to happen to begin with and who knows, maybe some realistic IRS guidelines for vetting the 501c organizations and no shit is on Obama for doing so
The AP defenestration – the public doesn’t care, the leaker is most likely a Republican and that causes them to not say much since they’re the ones to initially call for the investigation hoping it would just be part of the usual background noise. Now that it’s here; maybe it will cause the Repubs to rethink the Police State that they continue to condone and NOW the press is involved because the people finally having their rights stepped on is THEM, whocoulddanode….
Added Bonus – The administration is trying to get out in front of the growing issue regarding sexual assaults in the Military and telling them to get their house in order, pronto, and the business of officers using their rank as a privilege to cover their asses in the old boy network may be coming to a close.
Heywood J.
Yeah, he looks like he’s missed some meals there, judging from the Unused Cat Tower photos. Seriously, have you thought about getting him that Chris Christie lap-band surgery? (Saying this as someone who’s had my share of chunky felines over the years.)
NotMax
@Yatsuno
Sushi?
Dining companions welcome to the fish pieces, the glutinous rice and the seaweed.
Give me some crackers and a bowl of fresh wasabi, and I’m in hog heaven.
Can lap that stuff up by the spoonful.
Darkrose
We always tell our guys that they could live off their fat for a year. They always look at us like they’re saying, “Look who’s talking.”
Yatsuno
@NotMax: Have you gotten some of the actual root? Totally different flavour from the powdered stuff in the tube. They actually grow it with some success in Oregon. I think that’s where Uwajimaya gets theirs.
Ultraviolet Thunder
I just got back to Detroit from San Diego and have to get up in 4 hours for work. We’ll see if that happens.
Oh, and United is officially my least favorite airline now, permanently.
Spaghetti Lee
Well, being reminded occasionally that they need humans to feed them is all that keeps cats from destroying us and taking over the world, so you done good.
(And I’m sure there are already cat double-agents here on Balloon Juice who will sell their fellow humans out when the revolution comes…)
NotMax
@Yatsuno
Readily available at markets here.
But grating stuff is not kind to arthritic hands/fingers.
Use a blender* now when making potato pancakes. Have a recipe that is about as close as one can get to traditional ‘grated, with a bit of blood and knuckle in it’ latkes.
*Blender somehow gives the right grainy consistency. Food processor just over processes.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Ultraviolet Thunder: It’s been a long time since I’ve been on them, but will agree. Once, my mom, brother and I were flying from SFO to Belfast via London Heathrow. The United plane we were supposed to get on was delayed by about four hours. We talked to the people at the gate about how we were going to miss the connecting flight to Belfast, and they told us that they had re-booked us on a later flight from LHR to BFS. Well, when we arrived in London, and went to the British Airways desk, they told us that there was no way United could have done that, because the BA flight had been sold out for weeks. The United people in London did get us on a British Midland flight later in the day, but really…
Comrade Nimrod Humperdink
@Ultraviolet Thunder: united is tolerable over short distances inmy experience, but one time trans Pacific was enough to swear me off of them forever. I’ll pay the extra hundred Assange bitcoins for a ride in a plane less than 40 years old when the jaunt in question exceeds 12 hours
Violet
You’re just helping him get in touch with his inner Primal Cat by helping him practice his Intermittent Fasting like the good Paleo kitty he wants to be.
Batocchio
If you were still a conservative, you’d have blamed Tunch. That damn moocher.
Odie Hugh Manatee
What John really needs to get his household in shape!
I would pay to see a video of Tunch doing this. :)
Fair Economist
Cats aren’t supposed to have a constantly full food bowl. That leads to overeating and obesity.
? Martin
Ok, here’s a Stylish theme for Balloon Juice. I’ve only tested it on Safari Mac, but it should be relatively clean. Dials the box spam way down. Gets rid of a lot of the distracting bits. Ads still load, they just don’t display:
http://userstyles.org/styles/87641/balloon-juice-light?r=1368773625
I set it up to use Source Sans Pro, which I find to be extremely legible: http://sourceforge.net/adobe/sourcesans/wiki/Home/
Degrades to Verdana. Ups the font size, but you can easily go in and increase the font size a bit more if you desire.
? Martin
@Fair Economist: Wait, you mean Tunch might get fat? Heavens…
Steeplejack
@? Martin:
Thanks for posting that. I’ll check it out tomorrow or Saturday.
I’m feeling all askew with the Balloon Juice renovation. I’m browsing on three different platforms—Chrome on a Nexus 7 tablet, Firefox on Windows XP and Firefox on Windows 7 (different computer with different screen resolution)—and I feel like I’m looking at 27 different formats. I can’t remember what I changed where and can’t seem to find the right combination of tweaks that get me where I want. I’m getting eyeball fatigue.
kdaug
Checking in post local gamedev beernight thing.
Sometimes I wonder what it’s like in a town with 800 people. Everyone can hear your scream.
Looking forward to “Gravity”. It’s gonna happen, sooner or later. Space is a bitch.
Hello, pillow.
Narcissus
@kdaug: Is this post in english
Did I have a stroke or something
Liquid
Hey John, if you’ve yet to screen Iron Man 3 — Well, it looks like Bob Morton made another mistake.
Linda
Judging from the size of him, a skipped meal would not kill him. In fact, do you know that in the wild, predators don’t generally eat every day? Most meat food is not considerate enough to stand still, unlike Cat Chow.
Kurzleg
So, YOU’RE Fappy the Wanker on Urban Terror then?
Ivan Ivanovich Renko
Three platforms here– Opera on Windoze 7, Chrome on Android Jelly Bean, and Safari on iPad. Mostly on the Android phablet (and yeah, I just flat love my Galaxy Note II)– my only complaint with the mobile version is that the comments font is pretty small. Can I haz fix, please?
Frackin’ presbyopia.
And alla ya– offa my lawn.
Persia
I’ve taken the water bowl away to get a new one…and then forgotten to replace it. So far the cats have lived, so that’s good. But I feel like an asshole when I do it.
Just Some Fuckhead
No wonder your cat is so fucking fat. You don’t keep food in their bowl like a cornucopia of plenty, you feed them twice a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening. If they need more food than that, they can go hunt it. That helps keep them slim.
Tractarian
This post is pretty disgusting. Keep your fapping and your rubdowns to yourself please.
kindness
John snarking? Hopefully. Otherwise it is just a tad Too Much Information.
Redshirt
I flew two cross country United flights back to back in which the bathrooms were not working. On the second one, we actually stopped in Las Vegas for a bathroom break.
I’m like, really – we’re pulling off for a rest stop? Really United?
Central Planning
“rubdown”? Is that like the South Park episode where they play red rocket with Kenny’s dog?