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You are here: Home / Science & Technology / Great moments in science writing

Great moments in science writing

by Tim F|  May 21, 20131:30 pm| 78 Comments

This post is in: Science & Technology

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This time it’s the title of an original research paper in the prestigious National Academy of Sciences.

Nematic liquid crystal boojums with handles on colloidal handlebodies

Again, someone published this work in the second or third most prestigious journal in science. It does mean something. They may not give a Nobel for stuff like this (I make no judgments about their research itself, and probably could not if I tried), but I expect to hear about it again when the Ig Nobel ceremony convenes in September.

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78Comments

  1. 1.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 21, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    Um, what was that again?

    but the role of surface topology in the appearance, stability, and core structure of these defects remains poorly understood.

    No shit, Sherlock!

    BTW, “boojums” is admitted to be a term dubbed in the abstract to give a name to the phenomena described. “Whatchamacallits” I think had already been trademarked by Ron Popeil or something..

  2. 2.

    RSA

    May 21, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    Excellent. @Villago Delenda Est: I thought this…

    ABSTRACT… remains poorly understood.

  3. 3.

    Origuy

    May 21, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    Is this snark?

  4. 4.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    May 21, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    “Nematic liquid crystal boojums” sounds like something we took back in the Sixties.

  5. 5.

    scav

    May 21, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: One great title — is there a specific Wonderlands / Dodgson sub-category? Any competition from the more Seussian end?

    also, Lutwidge? how have I missed that lo these many years?

  6. 6.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 21, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    I am reminded of the research one intrepid scientist did on the “Anal temperatures of Alaskan sled dogs”. He actually won a “Golden Fleece Award” from the Honorable Senator William Proxmire (R- Idioto). His research also found application in space suit design, so there was that too.

  7. 7.

    Ronnie Pudding

    May 21, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    Elitist scientists. If I don’t understand it, it must be worthless. Jesus didn’t have a boojum.

  8. 8.

    Poopyman

    May 21, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    And who amongst us hasn’t called their beloved “boojums”?

    Finally, we discuss how this interplay between the topologies of colloidal surfaces and boojums may lead to controlled self-assembly of colloidal particles in nematic and paranematic hosts, which, in turn, may enable reconfigurable topological composites.

    So that’s what the kids are calling it these days. Physics seems to have advanced a bit since my grad school days.

  9. 9.

    the Conster

    May 21, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Enormous mendacious disembodied anus. I’m so happy to have rotating tag lines back!

  10. 10.

    SFAW

    May 21, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    the research one intrepid scientist did on the “Anal temperatures of Alaskan sled dogs”.

    Better that, than researching John Sununununununu prolapsed pig rectums. (Recta? Recti?)

  11. 11.

    Poopyman

    May 21, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    And thanks to Tim F. for reading PNAS so we don’t have to.

  12. 12.

    nastybrutishntall

    May 21, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    This has always been my favorite Barrett tune.

  13. 13.

    Calming Influence

    May 21, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    Well this is obvious bullshit research, because I’m not familiar with any of the words in the title other than liquid, crystal and handle. These must be climate “scientists”. Benghazi!

  14. 14.

    SFAW

    May 21, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    Anyway, everyone KNOWS that “boojums” are fundamental to the operation of the Turbo Encabulator.

  15. 15.

    dmsilev

    May 21, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    Piffle. My favorite PNAS article title is “Heavy use of equations impedes communications among biologists”. Just for the humor value, you understand.

    For sheer absurdity, I would nominate this graph, published as part of this article in Science. I’m sure it’s perfectly reasonable to specialists in the field, but to the layman it’s completely ludicrous.

  16. 16.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    May 21, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    @SFAW:

    You learn something new every day. I thought that boojums came out of the swamp on moonless nights.

  17. 17.

    karl

    May 21, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    Dude! If you haven’t handled bodies on liquid crystal boojums you haven’t lived.

  18. 18.

    Haydnseek

    May 21, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    These crazy hipster researchers with their ridiculous terminology. Why, back it my day, we uses solid scientific terms, like “charmed quark.”

  19. 19.

    scav

    May 21, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    And I know internal hyphens are dropped over time but electrooptical did conjure small platoons of tiny electrical robot warriors running — superquickly, I’ve no doubt — about the demilitarized boundary conditions.

  20. 20.

    piratedan

    May 21, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    @SFAW: #13 only if you’re applying it to the barsoomian branch of equatorial physics…..

  21. 21.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 21, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    Nematic liquid crystal boojums with handles on colloidal handlebodies

    “… but I think you’ll be amused by its presumption”

  22. 22.

    karl

    May 21, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: Uh, Proxmire was a Democrat.

    As you point out, however, his “awards” started the trend towards anti-wasteful-spending-research based on ignorant-title-readings, now part of the Republican orthodoxy.

  23. 23.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    May 21, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    @scav:
    Future wars will be fought by electroopicals even though development has been slowed by the inadequacy of the Profanity Modules in the elecnoncoms.

  24. 24.

    cathyx

    May 21, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    Nematic liquid crystal boojums with handles on colloidal handlebodies

    I understood the words with and on. That’s all.

  25. 25.

    Yatsuno

    May 21, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    I am reminded of the research one intrepid scientist did on the “Anal temperatures of Alaskan sled dogs”.

    Funny thing is, there is some possible good research that could come from this. Siberian huskies are capable of changing their metabolism in a way where they are able to burn energy from other sources before using their fat stores. If they can figure out how that actually happens there could be huge implications for how to control human metabolism.

  26. 26.

    Cris (without an H)

    May 21, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    @Origuy: Is this snark?

    It’s a boo-

  27. 27.

    Haydnseek

    May 21, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: LOL! Nice….

  28. 28.

    dmsilev

    May 21, 2013 at 1:53 pm

    The term ‘boojum’ is apparently an old one in that particular field. From the first paragraph of the actual paper,
    “Being inspired by Lewis Carroll’s poem The Hunting of the Snark, Mermin (1, 2) introduced a term “boojum” to name elusive at the time surface defects in superfluids.”
    References 1 and 2 date from 1981 and 1990 respectively. I’m hardly an expert on topological defects in fluids, though I’ve acquired a sufficient smattering of knowledge to recognize that this paper is a pretty respectable piece of work.

  29. 29.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 21, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    has been slowed by the inadequacy of the Profanity Modules in the elecnoncoms.

    Shorter HBM: The NCOs are not swearing properly.

  30. 30.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 21, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    @cathyx: does adding “and a hint of oak” at the end help any?

  31. 31.

    SFAW

    May 21, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:

    You’re thinking of snipe(s). We used to hunt ’em, back when I was in Boy Scouts. After we caught ’em, we’d tie ’em up with a coupla yards of shoreline, then hang ’em from a skyhook. Them’s good eatin’.

  32. 32.

    Culture of Truth

    May 21, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    Jack Nicholson voice: “You can’t HANDLE the iquid crystal boojums!!”

  33. 33.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 21, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    @SFAW:

    I thought you slow roasted them by igniting lanyard grease in a box of grid squares?

  34. 34.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 21, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    I didn’t even click the link but I’m guessing it actually means something like cellulite buildup on your spare tire.

  35. 35.

    SFAW

    May 21, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    You must not be from ’round hyar. You one o’ them West Coast Hippie Scouts?

  36. 36.

    eric

    May 21, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    @dmsilev: it makes perfect sense, though it is incorrect about the robot, or say says Siri.

  37. 37.

    scav

    May 21, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    @Bill E Pilgrim: Obesity is really a problem if even our modelled superbodies have handlebodies.

  38. 38.

    eric

    May 21, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    @eric: and if the finger is pointing at Gohlmert it is not accurate either.

  39. 39.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 21, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    @scav: Handelbodies is what they called groupies in the early 1700s, I believe.

  40. 40.

    eric

    May 21, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    @scav: it is the superboobies that become handledboobies that most interest this dud-y

  41. 41.

    Joel

    May 21, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    I’m always fond of Fuck and Fuck’s seminal classic: “Ovarian Teratoma in a bitch.”

  42. 42.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 21, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    I see what you did there.

    They later became RockmeAmadeus types?

  43. 43.

    MattF

    May 21, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    @dmsilev: Back in the day, I took an undergraduate solid-state physics course from Prof. Mermin. Only person I’ve known who stuttered in complete sentences.

  44. 44.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 21, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    @karl:

    Proxmire was a Democrat.

    Yep, now that you mention it he was. But I still maintain he was a Republican of today at heart.

  45. 45.

    Butch

    May 21, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    For some reason reminds me of my first exposure to the Journal of Irreproducible Results, an article that dealt with whether it was possible to destroy a peep (the marshmallow Easter concoction). Also the “Candidate for a Pullet Surprise…..”

  46. 46.

    Crusty Dem

    May 21, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    PNAS is second or third? No way. Nature-Cell-Science, etc.

    PNAS isn’t in the top 10.

    CORRIGENDUM: google scholar puts them at #6, I’m still skeptical, but I’ll claim ignorance based on my field (and the fact that the one time I submitted a paper there i got the worst reviews conceivable).

  47. 47.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 21, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: No they all went on to study the mating habits of wolf gangs.

  48. 48.

    cathyx

    May 21, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    @Bill E Pilgrim: Only if those handles are made of oak.

  49. 49.

    tones

    May 21, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    I am pretty sure this is Vogan poetry , in fact I am sure of it.

    4 And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,

    5 Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurlecruncheon, see if I don’t.”

    (by Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz; see p. 56/57)

  50. 50.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    May 21, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    “The boojum was named by David Mermin of Cornell University in 1976.”

    Not every day I encounter a new word. Thanks!

  51. 51.

    eric

    May 21, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    @Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism: Read Ulysses. :)

  52. 52.

    Anoniminous

    May 21, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    Didn’t see a link, so Boojum:

    [A] boojum is a geometric pattern on the surface of one of the phases of superfluid helium-3, whose motion can result in the decay of a supercurrent.

    ETA: dmsilev got there first.

  53. 53.

    MattF

    May 21, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    @eric: Um, no. “Hunting of the Snark” by Lewis Carroll.

  54. 54.

    OzarkHillbilly

    May 21, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    @Yatsuno:

    Funny thing is, there is some possible good research that could come from this. Siberian huskies are capable of changing their metabolism

    I rather suspect all kinds of good things came out of this basic research in addition to the more efficient space suit. I had not heard that about huskies abilities to change their metabolism.

  55. 55.

    Tyro

    May 21, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    The problem with PNAS, Science, and Nature is that while they publish the most groundbreaking research, the publications themselves are only relevant for the narrow audience knowledgeable about the field of the paper itself. Having it published in PNAS/Science/Nature is just a point of prestige to go along with the paper itself to point out its importance to those in your field. The paper itself is mostly not of interest to the greater scientific community. I am not sure there are enough papers that exist whose importance is accessible and relevant to a wide audience to fill up a year’s worth of PNAS/Nature/Science journals. Rather, those publications serve as effectively awards committees handing out “best paper of the year in your narrow field” prizes.

  56. 56.

    karl

    May 21, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: Hate to come at you again, as we are probably in line politically — but Proxmire (and I was around way back then) was criticizing LBJ’s Vietnam policy early on, he was pro-labor, and he refused big campaign contributions.

    Aside from his anti-research obsession (which started as an investigation into military overspending) and a rather hypocritical blindness to agricultural subsidies (he was from a farm state), he was one of the good guys.

    And who could ever forget those psychedelic hair implants?

  57. 57.

    BruceFromOhio

    May 21, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    @dmsilev: I note that the frog and fetus are of similar magnitude on the experience continuum, yet register an equal lack of agency. In contrast, G-d apparently tops out in agency with little or no experience.

    I must ponder this.

  58. 58.

    Linda Featheringill

    May 21, 2013 at 2:50 pm

    Lol!

    Great thread on a difficult day!

    Thank goodness for reader capture.

  59. 59.

    scav

    May 21, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    @BruceFromOhio: HR had an off day (if they existed at all, they may have been a day 6 event) when he was hired. Those were the days — guy on the floor could work his way up to the top-job . . .

  60. 60.

    dmsilev

    May 21, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    @BruceFromOhio: I have pondered that graph deeply, often with the aid of alcohol, and I make no pretense at being able to understand it.

  61. 61.

    dmsilev

    May 21, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    @scav: So God got hired despite having little experience? I wonder whether He lied on His resume.

  62. 62.

    scav

    May 21, 2013 at 3:11 pm

    @dmsilev: Well, based on His self-reporting in His other published work . . .

  63. 63.

    retr2327

    May 21, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    Try this one: “Inter-universal Teichmuller Theory I: Construction of Hodge Theaters,” starts out by stating that the goal is “to establish an arithmetic version of Teichmuller theory for number fields equipped with an elliptic curve…by applying the theory of semi-graphs of anabelioids, Frobenioids, the etale theta function, and log-shells.” It’s from a paper proving (maybe!) a mathematical problem that has stumped the best mathematicians for years, by the inventor (maybe!) of Bitcoins.
    Only problem is, even the pros can’t understand it (but they’re not sure it’s bogus, either).

    From Tyler Cowen’s website (Marginal revolution) of this date .

    This sort of thing is apparently not that unusual in advanced mathematics. I went to high school with a math genius (and dope fiend) whose work was so advanced that only the best math professor at the nearby university (SUNY Stony Brook) could even follow it.

  64. 64.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    May 21, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    @eric: Meh. Not a fan.

  65. 65.

    Fred

    May 21, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    I read the book “Boojums All the Way Through” some years back. It was highly recomended in … was it “Scientific American” I think? It was a light hearted collection of the author’s exploits in disertations about sub-atomic stuff.
    Any-hoo he described a boojum as some kind of etherial being you can’t grab ahold of and aren’t sure it is really there at all.
    I mention it because it is the only other time I ever heard tell of the word. I think it is the most interesting thing about said book except for one chapter that was almost readable. The author was a smart guy but his prose were, well about as bad as mine here, if you can believe that.
    With that revelation I will now retire from the field.

  66. 66.

    ? Martin

    May 21, 2013 at 3:18 pm

    Nematic liquid crystal boojums with handles on colloidal handlebodies

    Worst band name ever.

  67. 67.

    Joel

    May 21, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    @Crusty Dem: NIH-funded stuff, generally would go:

    Nature-Science-Cell and probably Neuron (for neurobiology)
    Baby Nature-Baby Cell
    PNAS-Current Biology-JCB-Genes/Development-PLOS Biology-EMBO

  68. 68.

    Redshirt

    May 21, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    I used to play boojums in a jug band. Good times.

  69. 69.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    May 21, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    @MattF: I think he was recommending it as a source of new words for me to play with. As far as I’ve gotten into it before nodding off (I find domestic fiction to be dreadfully boring unless Eileen Fulton is involved), I’ve encountered new words in languages I don’t yet speak, and a number of portmanteaus, but not much really new in English.

  70. 70.

    GxB

    May 21, 2013 at 3:46 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: Proxmire was a D. His golden fleece awards were really hit or miss. Occasionally he’d uncover the fabled $2000 inertial utilizing multipurpose fastener driving device (AKA “hammer”) that the pentagon pissed multimillions away on; but I’d agree that his science targets were almost always a knock on basic research that often reflected his lack of understanding. I can’t imagine why you’d think he was an R (smiling eyeroll.)

    eta: I see Karl got there first.

  71. 71.

    Don K

    May 21, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Actually Proxmire was a D, and a pretty lefty one in general (DW Nominate around -.47, definitely not Blue Dog territory – in today’s Senate that would put him about equal to Franken, Levin, or Reed), but he had a bug up his ass about silly little appropriations often in the $500,000-$1 million range that he could issue press releases about. But I’ll give you the Idioto part. Sure he found a few real wastes of money, but a blind pig and all that.

  72. 72.

    gluon1

    May 21, 2013 at 4:48 pm

    @GxB: Also, even the hammers turned out not to be, if memory serves. As the following link argues, it was really the same kind of accounting as the mythical $40 muffin: the overall price, including labor costs, was simply divided among and added to the prices for the parts.
    http://www.govexec.com/federal-news/1998/12/the-myth-of-the-600-hammer/5271/

  73. 73.

    Ken T

    May 21, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    “Nematic liquid crystal boojums” — I think I saw them at the Fillmore back in the 60’s. They were opening for someone — damn, I can’t remember who.

  74. 74.

    justdale

    May 21, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    One of the rumors floating around while I was in graduate school concerned a certain refereed chemistry journal on instrumental chemistry that rejected a paper due to the length of the acronym the authors used for their technique. Incensed, the graduate students who contributed to the rejected paper decided on a different acronym, and then developed a new method of spectroscopy to match it . The result was proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy, which has turned out to be a useful instrumental technique even if the acronym didn’t catch on.

  75. 75.

    JGabriel

    May 21, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    Nematic liquid crystal boojums with handles on colloidal handlebodies

    It’s the handlebodies that shifts that title from merely humorous to awesome.

  76. 76.

    Bill Murray

    May 21, 2013 at 8:06 pm

    It’s too bad that it’s nematic liquid crystals that lead to boojums rather than smectic liquid crystals, mainly because smectic is a much more fun word

  77. 77.

    HI

    May 21, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    My former boss was awarded a Ig Nobel prize for a paper published in PNAS.

  78. 78.

    Don SinFalta

    May 21, 2013 at 11:54 pm

    @Ken T: If memory serves me (and it may well serve me some real curve balls given the time frame) that was John Cipollina’s pre Quicksilver band.

    Oh, and thank you Tim, this will serve me well the next time I get any grief from the faculty for running conferences on cyberspace.

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