The Bulwer-Lytton people set the bar pretty high, though. Here’s the 2010 winner (which still hasn’t been topped by subsequent entries, in my opinion):
For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss – a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.
Surely with the abundance of caustic wit and verbal acrobatics displayed daily, y’all are up to the task.
Now, speaking of good writing, have you read any decent books lately? Sadly, I have not. And unless you help me locate something worthwhile, I’ll be reading crap all week because I’m on vacation.
First, let me define “good” in this context: entertaining fiction. I’m currently reading Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver, but so far I’m not liking it. I thought The Poisonwood Bible was brilliant, but everything else I’ve read by her disappoints me. Hopefully it’ll pick up.
Anyhoo, bad sentences and recommendations! Or whatever.