Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Let there be snark.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

The revolution will be supervised.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

A Senator Walker would be an insult to the state and the nation.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

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131Comments

  3. 3.

    eemom

    I have a lot of unresolved anger I need to work out.

    Well, on the positive side, you are fucking hilarious.

  5. 5.

    Comrade Jake

    I caught Super 8 today, which was pretty good. I may watch Drive later, which I’ve heard is underrated.

    Both of these are actually on Netflix streaming.

  6. 6.

    gbear

    How about A Clockwork Orange? That should purge your anger. It’s actually a very funny movie too.

  7. 7.

    cyntax

    How many times have you seen Inglorious Basterds?

    Also, in the over the top category: Hard Boiled and Shoot em Up.

    ETA: Or just go play Borderlands 2.

  10. 10.

    eemom

    @raven:

    That is an awesome movie! A true dark comedy.

    Must be the season of the wiiiiiitch…..

    As for Cole, he oughtta watch the romzomcom Warm Bodies I mentioned last night. Even my eehubs was reaching for the Kleenex, and he’s even a worse curmudgeon than Cole.

  13. 13.

    Suffern ACE is a Basset Hound

    Save the Green Planet, I guess. Perhaps seeing what a life spent focusing on seeking revenge for against nebulous causes of personal problems might be therapeutic.

  15. 15.

    Ted & Hellen

    I have a lot of unresolved anger I need to work out.

    Well, here’s a concept: Get your fat ass out of that chair and freaking EXERCISE for once.

    Love ya.

  17. 17.

    mai naem

    This doesn’t have anything to do with movies but for whatever reason I think it’s hilarious. This is like movie comedy funny. John Boehner’s daughter got married to a Jamaican Rastafarian. He’s apparently got the dreadlocks etc. Also too, he was arrested a few years ago on what else, a marijuana charge.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2314818/Dominic-Lakhan-The-Jamaican-born-fianc-John-Boehners-daughter–arrested-possessing-marijuana.html

    Also too, I didn’t realize Boehner’s wife had the same orange thing going. Ya think they fake suntan together,you know, like a couples quiet time together thing?

  19. 19.

    Bob In Portland

    @Comrade Jake: “Drive” is great for anger, since the Ryan Gosling character has anger issues. The elevator scene (you’ll know it when you see it) is a classic of sound effects. And Albert Brooks plays a great bad guy.

    Myself, the girlfriend and I plan on watching the Liberace movie.

  20. 20.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    Of course Netflix has come out with some silent films, Faust was pretty cool, I think I will see Mephisto next.

  22. 22.

    Mike in NC

    “Last Stand” with Ahnold S was OK, given that it was by the Korean director of “I Saw The Devil”. Mindless action nonsense with some humor.

  23. 23.

    mai naem

    @Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again): ooh, I love Kung Fu Hustle and I never like any martial arts movies. I read the director was supposed to be coming out with Kung Fu Hustle 2 but it got delayed. Anyhow, I saw the suggestion in the last thread for A Boy’s Life which was really good. There was also The Man Without A Face with Mel Gibson before we all realized he was such a loathsome human being. Also Election with Reese Witherspoon.

  27. 27.

    Tim in Sf

    Do a good deed. I did one today (rescued some fledglings from a busy city street) and took all the anger out of me. I mean all of it.

  29. 29.

    Princess Leia

    “While food support was being targeted for cuts, just 20 rich Americans made as much from their 2012 investments as the entire 2012 SNAP (food assistance) budget, which serves 47 million people.”

    This will not end well.

  32. 32.

    Chris

    The last movie that was recommended to me on a Balloon Juice thread that I ended up following up on was “Ronin.” I now pass that recommendation forward. Good film, and it should still be on Netflix.

  33. 33.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @Comrade Jake: It is a shame too, they weren’t reading the script that the Heat was supposed to dominate, and was playing them good. The Spurs though may be the team to beat,

  34. 34.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @mai naem:

    I think KFHdistinguishes itself by being a movie- and a pretty damned funny movie, at that- with martial arts in it rather than a martial arts movie.

  35. 35.

    Comrade Jake

    @Mr Stagger Lee: yeah the first two games were fantastic.

    I like Tim Duncan and the Spurs but in the end I just think the Heat have too many weapons.

  36. 36.

    Mike G

    Stander – South African cop in the 70s, gets pissed off with the system, starts robbing banks (based on a true story).

  39. 39.

    max

    I have a lot of unresolved anger I need to work out.

    Mean Guns:

    A crime lord (Ice-T) with $10 million to spare pits dozens of criminals against each other in a locked-down prison facility supplied with an endless supply of weapons. The last three survivors of this modern-day gladiator competition will share the prize. Christopher Lambert co-stars in this relentlessly violent crime drama that features B-movie production values, tight editing and no shortage of gunplay.

    Everybody dies. In a good way.

    max
    [‘It’s got a good beat and you can dance to it.’]

  40. 40.

    Keith

    I recommended it last night late in the thread, but I’ll go again: “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow”. Really unique special effects and overall look, and it was filmed like classic films from the 40s. Fun plot and an all-around fun movie. I can’t believe that the writer/director hasn’t done anything else since.

  42. 42.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @max: Perez Prado pretty good music. I loved the characters in that movie, that movie is pure fun.

  43. 43.

    Mike E

    @mai naem: Apocalypto, for that matter, is hilarious and oddly cathartic, too. It belongs in the pantheon of” Bad Day” movies like Dog Day Afternoon, The Long Good Friday, and Memento.

    It helps to drink a few shots of tequila, or drop acid. Too.

  45. 45.

    YellowJournalism

    There’s two ways you go with this: action/horror or comedy. Action or horror may let you get out your anger by watching some good old violence take place on screen. Comedy will let you laugh away your anger. I suggest the comedy route. Think of your favourite comedy and watch it. Super Troopers usually works for me.

    Or you can let more fluffy sweetness into your life and become a Bronie with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

  46. 46.

    burnspbesq

    While you were fulminating, you missed an amazing game in the women’s lax championship. Carolina 13, Maryland 12 in four overtimes. Your time would have been better spent watching.

    Duke is going to win tomorrow, BTW. Suck it, haters.

  47. 47.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    The Naked Gun series cracks me up no matter how many times I see it. You can’t go wrong with Leslie Nielsen. Plus you get to see bad things happen to OJ Simpson.

  51. 51.

    burnspbesq

    @Chris:

    The last movie that was recommended to me on a Balloon Juice thread that I ended up following up on was “Ronin.” I now pass that recommendation forward.

    Oh hell yes. I propose a triple feature: Ronin, Hard-Boiled, and The Dogs of War.

  53. 53.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    I hear there’s a popular TV show just had some new episodes released on Netflix.

  54. 54.

    Gustopher

    For a mood changing movie, watch a musical — one where you know all the songs, and can sing along to (subtitles help). “South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut” and “Chicago” are my go to movies.

    Or if you want to wallow in your anger… Check the Netflix selection of documentaries.

  56. 56.

    burnspbesq

    @Redshirt:

    Looked like a near sellout in a stadium that seats 12,500. Not everyone shares your lack of appreciation for the exploits of highly skilled, highly fit young women.

  57. 57.

    Diana

    Drive was too stupid for words. Supposedly set in the present day, but no-one has a cell phone and the macgruffin is a bag full of cash. Sky Captain was not sufficiently thought through, there are much better SF movies out there.

    I recommend the Marvel universe, the Iron Man movies, Captain America, and the Avengers. (Myself, I have also seen Thor several times, but if you’re not in love with Tom Hiddleston, it’s not worth watching…)

    For sheer anger, nothing beats the Ahnold movies, as in Terminator and all its sequels. Also anything starring Sylvester Stallone.

    And I see Fight Club has already gotten a shout-out.

  58. 58.

    Redshirt

    @burnspbesq: Seriously, like a nation of rednecks are gonna make TV time for Collegiate Women’s Lax, right? That’s what you’re proposing? It’s that important a sport?

  60. 60.

    RobertDSC-PowerMac G5 Dual

    For a mood changing movie, watch a musical — one where you know all the songs, and can sing along to (subtitles help).

    Moulin Rouge.

  64. 64.

    burnspbesq

    @Redshirt:

    But it’s not ever going to be anything other than niche viewing.

    Not a problem. As long as ESPNU has 168 hours of airtime to fill every week, they’ll keep showing it. Advertisers loooove the audience it delivers. Small, but affluent.

  66. 66.

    Todd

    I’m shithammered drunk, hanging out by my fire pit, and lamenting my 19 year old daughter acting like she’s 19.

  67. 67.

    Corner Stone

    Maybe someone should tell lil bitch ass commenters that no one gives a fuck less what they have to say, much less waste time deleting their garbage ass junk.

  68. 68.

    skippy

    not an easy watch (you have to pay attention to it, and even then you may not understand every part), but i just saw “upstream color,” the second feature by carruth who confused everyone with his lo-fi sci-fi flick “primer.”

    also just saw “below” a ghost story/world war ii submarine story starring bruce greenwood, and its much better than the logline would indicate. creepiness and atmosphere rather than shock and gore propel it, excellent.

    also, instead of weird science, may i recommend “real genius”, starring young val kilmer. it travels the same territory as weird science (came out around the same time), but more grounded in the reality of science than fantasy, and even more laughs imo.

  70. 70.

    Scott Alloway

    “I have a lot of unresolved anger I need to work out.”
    Welcome to middle age. For your movie, an oldie – “The Magnificent Seven.” Great sound score. Corny but efficient script.

  71. 71.

    Keith

    @skippy: Yep, Real Genius is a killer movie. “I guess it goes from God…to Jerry…to you…to the cleaners, right Kent?”

  76. 76.

    Dead Ernest

    @YellowJournalism: I’m inclined to agree w you about ‘two ways to go’ but, Amazon Prime’s ‘free’ streaming movies recently added The Virgin Suicides. Knowing nothing about it, I tuned in. (As the saying goes, this) Based on a True Story, took me out of my world. Not funny, not cathartic, but I had none of ‘my issues’ for a couple hours. And while certainly not ‘haunted’ by it since, the story / movie has revisited, offering additional time away from ruminating on my issues.
    I suppose that might be what Critics refer to as Compelling. I dunno.

  77. 77.

    Chris

    @burnspbesq:

    “Ronin” yes. “The Dogs Of War” left me underwhelmed mostly because I’d already read and loved the book, but on its own it’s probably pretty good. Haven’t seen “Hard Boiled” yet.

  79. 79.

    Steeplejack

    @Cole,

    Okay, now you’re just trolling. In the last several “Any movie suggestions?” threads people have pointed you to enough good movies for a six-week immersive viewing session.

    Oh, well, I can’t quit you. Wes Anderson’s first movie, Bottle Rocket, is coming on Sundance at midnight EDT. If that’s too artsy-craftsy, the not awful Stallone remake of the excellent Michael Caine movie Get Carter is on Encore at midnight; that’s got more punchin’ and shootin’.

  82. 82.

    Dead Ernest

    However, for a Good Time, Comedy remains my True Love.
    Amazon Prime is also providing Frank Cara’s You Can’t Take It With You. A movie I can happily take over and over and over…

  83. 83.

    ? Martin

    Oh, and my son and I were very pleased to see the trailer for ‘The Purge’. Were wondering when the fusion of zombie genre and libertarianism would hit.

  84. 84.

    burnspbesq

    Four. Hat trick for Keane before halftime. The second penalty was righteous.

    At this rate, we may see Rogers make his Galaxy debut tonight. Juninho is probably going to have to come off; he hyperextended his knee and then got chopped down for the second penalty.

    Also too, Seattle already has a high profile, openly gay player: Megan Rapinoe.

  86. 86.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    Watch Rubber. How can you go wrong with a sentient tire with telekenetic powers. The crowds watching it are great.

  87. 87.

    YellowJournalism

    @Dead Ernest: I love that movie. I would almost categorize it as a horror film in its own way. A ghost story with living ghosts for most of the movie.

  88. 88.

    Redshirt

    Wubbins had 3 wobbles in 4 quatrains. Incredible wiggle play in the midmester. Heavy ball action yet he kept it light at the same time.

    Wubbins-Wiggins stole the game in post quarto. An overhand select to tie the midsquare with but a forethought to go! Amazing!

  90. 90.

    Dead Ernest

    @YellowJournalism: great description. Yes. I suppose it is the ghosts that continue to ‘drop in on me’ over the days since I watched it. Not disquieting just so bizarre as to be, well, compelling.
    I wonder how close the book is to the actual story. I doubt I’ll find the time to read it though.

  91. 91.

    YellowJournalism

    @Dead Ernest: I haven’t read the book, but a friend of mine did and said she liked the movie better. She said it was pretty faithful as far as adaptations go.

  95. 95.

    MikeJ

    Six posts since 2pm. Off the grid!

    We lurve you Cole.

    The movie you should watch for Memorial day is about our brave soldiers who drove away to Norks when they invaded. Wolverines! Red Dawn. Not the camp, halfway funny 1980s version, but the nothing to offer remake.

  97. 97.

    angelfoot

    Anyone remember Salvador? Oliver Stone’s best movie and great performances by James Woods and, believe it or not, James Belushi. Might not resolve any anger issues but remind you that some things are worth being pissed about.

  98. 98.

    trollhattan

    I’m eyeballing my unopened copy of “Seven Samurai” for tonight, but am not sure I’m up to hours of reading subtitles. But, that brings up spaghetti westerns, which can’t be beat for two hours of pure male aggression.

  102. 102.

    Redshirt

    Fear leads to anger.
    Anger leads to hate.
    Hate leads to the Dark Side, dude.

    As a Pens loser, accept your fate. The Bruins are going to the Finals.

  103. 103.

    Yatsuno

    @MikeJ: Speaking of which, I need to get in touch with him. He’s not sneaking back into town under the radar again like last time dammit.

  105. 105.

    Suzanne

    @? Martin: Hah, my husband and I saw that and thought it looked freaky. We agreed that it might actually get people to understand that the libertarian paradise would be nothing but horrifying.

  106. 106.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Gustopher: If you want a musical where you know all the songs, my vote is for “Mama Mia”. God help me, I really like it. Especially for watching Pierce Brosnan do his best at singing.

  108. 108.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @Scott Alloway: Or for a more modern version, “The Wild Bunch”. Nothing like seeing Ernest Borgnine pry open a crate and, beaming, holler, “Grenades!”

  109. 109.

    Violet

    @Suzanne: Watched it. Thought it was prety good. I didn’t know anything about Liberace but was interested in seeing Michael Douglas portray him. He did a great job.

  112. 112.

    Keith

    @Suzanne: Michael Douglas has had some incredible performances in his career, but this one has to be up there. For him to take a role like this at the end of his career is pretty bold. I know the phrase tends to get overused, like when Lena Dunham goes nude, but Douglas doing Liberace really is. Here’s a guy who already has an Oscar and has already shown an incredible range, yet he still decides to do a flawless Liberace, complete with several makeout scenes along with one where he’s getting pounded from behind by Matt Damon while doing poppers. It can be an unsettling movie, but it was impossible for me to stop watching.
    And Rob Lowe’s Dr Jack Startz was hilarious.

  118. 118.

    fuckwit

    @Ted & Hellen: I will have to second this, or third it, or Nth it.

    I’m kind of getting tired of Cole whining about how he’s such a lard-ass and can’t get laid, because that’s a solvable problem. Dude, HIT THE FUCKING GYM. You were once an athlete, turn that fat back to muscle and you’ll have nothing to whine about anymore with regards to the ladies.

    Not only will the workout burn off all that extra aggression, actually getting laid will melt away the rest of it.

    Then again, if he did get in shape, we’d have to listen to him bragging about how much play he’s getting, and that might be even more annoying.

  119. 119.

    Joseph Nobles

    @Keith: Patton Oswalt’s tweets are always worth having a Twitter account, and his live-tweeting of Behind the Candelabra is why. So much fun.

  124. 124.

    mai naem

    Douglas was awesome but Matt Damon did a pretty awesome job too on Behind the Candelabra. I would never have watched this except a friend of mine was telling me about it and he was interested in watching it. I didn’t even recognize Dan Ackroyd or Scott Bakula. Whoever did the make up should win the emmy. I have a feeling its going to win a bunch of emmys.

  126. 126.

    vickie feminist

    Maybe the anger is related to the holiday and how we don’t deal with our vets’ experiences.

    Maybe you’re a little sad and need to talk/visit with friends.

    Or watch Michael Caine’s A Shock to the System where he discovers “accidental deaths” as a useful strategy.

    And hey, you can be smug for creating this blog.

  129. 129.

    JR in WV

    I find that anger is best spent gainfully. I use a hand-maul to split seasoned rounds of firewood when I’m too angry to speak about the things that have made me angry.

    Now, for John, this may be dangerous, like going mugger-hunting in Gotham with a slingshot. But if you start slow and get used to the weight of the tool and the density of the target wood, it can be safely done.

  131. 131.

    Deb T

    Hell on Wheels – you can watch the whole series, for a price, on Amazon. Great revenge fantasy in the first season. Of course Justified is classier and I find just as satisfying. No one kicks butt like Raylan Givens walkin’ in his Daddy’s footsteps.

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