I’ve been eating a lot of portabellos this spring/early summer. I’m trying to get away from red meat, and portabellas are so nice and meaty and flavorful that I just love stuffing them, and not to mention, beef is so expensive anymore. I put some reggiano, a little artichoke, some cheap crab meat, and finely diced tomatoes in two tonight and baked them, ate two ears of corn and a load of tomatoes/cukes/onions in oilive oil and red wine vinegar. Good stuff. Hopefully healthful, because I am trying.
Any portabella recipes you want to share?
Also, let’s go Sharks! Beat the Kings!
raven
Heat and Pacers in a brawl.
Omnes Omnibus
Neither of those teams should exist. Just sayin’.
gogol's wife
All I can share is that it’s portobello.
I like them too.
brettvk
Cheap crap meat? Sounds economical.
Elizabelle
Cheap crap meat? Yum.
Elie
Don’t forget that besides Portabellos, tofu makes great, hearty and flavorfull stir fries, etc. It is bland but seasons up real nice with the addition of soy and curry along with vegetables. Add a little rice (mind, I said a little rice), you have a nice, filling meal. Tofu can also be used to stretch a little chicken or fish real nice —
It is also good for you and low in cholesterol.
Omnes Omnibus
@Elizabelle: I am presuming he gets it from Taco Bell’s suppliers.
Dolly Llama
Posted this on the dead thread below, but David Frum’s lackey has sure-enough kicked an anthill with Confederate Traitors Don’t Deserve the Honors.
The comments under that one are some kind of entertaining.
ETA: Actually, that’s the second “we ought not name shit after Confederate ‘heroes'” thread I’ve seen over the last day or two, the first one being at TPM. I’d expect it there, but at Frum’s? Is this coming up several different places because of Memorial Day, or has something happened to prompt this discussion?
indycat32
I posted this in the last open thread but that thread was dying so I’m posting here: I’m planning on visiting the Biltmore Estates (mainly to see the gardens) next month. Anyone familiar with Asheville, visited the Biltmore?? Can’t decide whether to go with a package or book hotel and buy admission to the Estate separately. Any recommendations/advice?
Oh yeah, and also GO PACERS!!!
Elizabelle
@Omnes Omnibus: Indeed.
Feeling Kind of mean for ragging on the typo, since it’s admirable to be moderating JC’s diet.
Love Lebanese food. Wondering if they do anything interesting w mushrooms.
Comrade Mary
Hey, has anyone seen Tunch? I last saw that pic of him in John’s back — Oh.My.God.
Baud
@Dolly Llama:
I think somehow it got out into the blogosphere recently that we have about 10 military bases named for Confederate generals.
Corner Stone
What’s funny is that even without the cheap crap meat, after Cole finishes stuffing the portabellos with the other items he has spent more money than a simple sirloin costs, per pound.
Elizabelle
@Comrade Mary: Someone was noting Tumch’s resemblance to a mushroom. The photo was that good, as usual.
LA Times reporting Disneyland prank explosion was in Toontown. Was it Roger or Jessica? Stay tuned.
raven
@Elizabelle: They used to have some great red hash!
Wow, the world wide internet has pix!
http://www.smokersguide.com/sg/images/smart_weed/redleb_kashmir_hashish.jpg
Jade Jordan
Bring back the unhappy John Cole. New and improved JC sucks.
Dolly Llama
@Baud: Well, yeah. I’ve got a whole side of my extended family who would have all starved like the Donner Family in middle Georgia if they all hadn’t gotten civilian jobs at Fort Gordon.
BArry
@Elie: I’ve finally found out how to cook tofue – get yourself some peanut oil (or another with a smoke point around 1,000 deg F), and do your best to burn the living f*ck out of the pieces (which should all be the same size). Because of all of the water, you can’t burn them, but you’ll brown the outsides, and they’ll taste crunchy and nutty.
Then put them into a stir fry.
John Cole
This website is a pedant’s wet dream. Fixed portabello and crap.
Yatsuno
@Elizabelle: Tunch iz toadstool kitteh. And floofy.
NickT
“…and not to mention, beef is so expensive anymore.”
Sarah Palin would be proud of that fine phrasifying you’ve got there, Mr Cole.
John Cole
@Corner Stone: No, I haven’t. 4 ports = 3.99, parm I had, crab meat was 6 bucks a container, and only used half. Tomato was what, 50 cents? So that is 10.49 total cost, I only ate two of the ports and have all the ingredients to do it again tomorrow.
A ribeye or porterhouse or t-bone would be 12 bucks for one serving, nowhere near as healthy, etc.
You’re wrong.
muddy
@indycat32: I replied, did you see that one?
schrodinger's cat
@John Cole: Cheap crab meat, sounds like an oxymoron. Where I live it is at least as expensive as beef (between $7 and $10)
Omnes Omnibus
@schrodinger’s cat:
Roaches are kind of like crabs.
Steeplejack
@John Cole:
Jesus Christ, you fixed it one out of three places! (And you’ve still got oilive oil in there.)
Corner Stone
@John Cole: It’s funny that I said “simple sirloin” and not those other cuts you mention.
Pedant asshole.
indycat32
@muddy: yes, I did, thanks.
David in NY
@indycat32: We stayed at a nice B&B in Asheville last Spring. We liked it because it wasn’t Ante-Bellum Southern — even a mixed race couple, and dietary conscious. Asheville Green Cottage — http://www.ashevillegreencottage.com/ Asheville area is beautiful — but we went to the surrounding mountains and botanic garden, not to the Biltmore. And read “Look Homeward, Angel,” before you go (then go to Thomas Wolfe’s home). And read it even if florid prose is not to your taste.
geg6
John got some organic chicken yesterday and I am hoping against hope that he’ll be grilling it tomorrow. He makes the best, most delicious chicken ever, regardless of the method he chooses to cook it. I don’t know what he does that I can’t seem to master anywhere but when I roast chicken in the oven, but it is one of the reasons he was able to seduce me in the first place.
Since my surgery and the attendant weight loss from that, I have vowed to go back to my old eating habits of just one large meal per day with snacking on fairly healthy other stuff in small amounts during the rest of the day. That way, I can keep the weight off and still be able to have dessert now and again. Portobellos are fine, especially marinated well and grilled, but if I’m only eating one big meal, that’s probably not going to be a choice for me most days. I’m already limited in my choices until I can get my dental implants, so I’m going to eat any and all meat and seafood I can manage.
And seriously, Cole, no way am I stuffing anything with cheap crap meat.
NickT
@Omnes Omnibus:
Easier to smoke, though.
Eric U.
@Baud: most Air Force bases were named after a guy that died when he crashed his plane. This is getting diluted somewhat as we close some of the more obscure bases
JDM
You grill big Portobello caps and they make a great “cheeseburger”. Start bottom down so when you turn them over the cheese stays on instead of dripping down.
Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)
@schrodinger’s cat: That’s because it’s probably not real crab meat.
Redshirt
I am a vegetarian of 20 years and want to be clear, on the record: I hate portabello mushrooms. It’s like eating earth, including the slimy top and the cold, dead center.
Baud
@Eric U.:
We should rename all our Air Force bases Fort McCain. He’s crashed many planes and lived!
NickT
Well, if we’ve decided to go for western decadence(cuisine edition), I recommend cooking your portabellas in a little olive oil to start and then plenty of good lemon juice. Tastes good and is easy on the oil.
ruemara
I can recommend marinating them in worchestershire sauce, a little liquid smoke, grilling them and making a tasty burger with cranberry relish, blue cheese and salad greens.
Omnes Omnibus
@Baud: Perfect. We can insult both the Navy and Air Force with one move.
Elizabelle
@geg6: Congrats on the promotion. Woo hoo!
And very sorry to hear the chancellor’s news.
NickT
@Baud:
That’s a bit too close to naming our naval bases after Davy Jones for my taste.
schrodinger's cat
@Omnes Omnibus: eeeewww, do not want.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Omnes Omnibus: Kings have been around since I was a kid.
Gin & Tonic
@BArry: Here’s how I cook tofu. Heat up some olive oil until shimmering. Toss in some tofu and shake the pan vigorously for two minutes over a high flame. Then shake the pan vigorously upside-down over the trash can. Wipe out the pan with a paper towel (use tongs, as it’s hot) and cook some real food.
rdldot
Brush with EVOO, salt and pepper and any other spices you like, and grill em. Eat them like burgers. Delicious.
Omnes Omnibus
@BillinGlendaleCA: Doesn’t make it right.
@schrodinger’s cat: I wasn’t recommending; I was theorizing on what might constitute cheap “crab” meat – note Cole’s freudian slip with “crap.”
@efgoldman:
… then toss the tofu?
GregB
Hitler liked portabellas.
rdldot
Use them instead of gr beef in stuffed peppers. Also delicious.
NickT
@efgoldman:
Why would you want to taint the bacon?
Redshift
Since this is an open thread, are FPers planning any posts about the Virginia statewide races? I mean, they’re only the most significant/competitive elections this year, right?
Or do you need us Virginia BJers to put something together?
And on the same subject, does anyone have any good Virginia politics blog suggestions. Blue Virginia is pretty good, but there seem to be a lot fewer than there were a few years ago.
NickT
@GregB:
And dogs
Omnes Omnibus
@efgoldman:
Better safe than sorry.
NickT
@efgoldman:
Surely the Mormons have baptized them into the Baconized Blessed already?
BArry
Portabellas:
3 large portabellas
Olive oil
white wine
salt
black pepper
rosemary
sage
thyme
Put them hollow side up in a pan, sprinkle herbs into the cups. Add wine and olive oil. Saute in a covered pan 20 minutes or until done.
The aroma will be found in the dictionary next to the word ‘savory’.
eemom
I dislike all ‘shrooms (with the possible exception of the hallucinogenic kind, which I’ve never tried). They creep me out.
Ferfuxsake, the things grow out of tree bark.
David in NY
Portobello, goddamit.
Msskwesq
I won’t eat toufu. Most of it is gmo and full of chemicals from the big ag farms its grown on. Also I don’t think all the estrogen like properties is good for most people.
Omnes Omnibus
@eemom: More for me then.
Gin & Tonic
@BArry: We must have different dictionaries. I find the aroma next to the word “compost.”
Corner Stone
I also love eating grilled portobellas. I just brush them with a tablespoon or two of oiilive oil, then some salt and pepper. At the same time I saute some bacon, ham, italian sausage, fresh corn and apparently fake crab meat.
Mix with some grated cheese, aioli, bread crumbs. Oh, and some fresh tomatoes. Brush with egg wash, sprinkle some more parm on top and bake until golden.
Arclite
I grilled sliced portabellos on the grill yesterday wrapped in tinfoil and covered in butter and crushed garlic.
schrodinger's cat
@efgoldman: Not a big fan of bacon, I don’t get the hype.
NickT
@eemom:
And you grew from jism after a certain amount of sweating and pumping.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Redshirt: Portabello mushrooms, fungus. Yuck.
Gin & Tonic
@eemom: I have tried the hallucinogenic kind. They’re at least an order of magnitude more disgusting than regular mushrooms. It was an awful struggle just to get them down the hatch.
Corner Stone
@schrodinger’s cat: There is no…hype. It’s bacon.
It sells itself.
BArry
@JDM: Agreed. And when you start them on the grill cap up, fill the cap with wine.
NickT
@efgoldman:
Now, if she could monetize caffeinated bacon…
BArry
@Msskwesq: “Also I don’t think all the estrogen like properties is good for most people.”
I disagree. I’ve been eating lots of tofu recently, and working out on the weights. My pecs are huge!
TG Chicago
I find it charming that you (properly) used “healthful” rather than “healthy” right after (improperly) using “hopefully” rather than “I am hopeful that it is” or “I hopefully imagine that it is”.
/grammarjerk (who rarely bothers when it comes to blogs and comments)
Redshirt
@BillinGlendaleCA: Yeah, I’m generally against the entire food group of fungi. However, there is this fake chicken I eat (Quorn) which is delicious. And reading some of these recipes has convinced me now I’ve never eaten a well cooked portobello, just cold ass raw dead things, lying all fishy and glistening on a yellow plate.
Maybe I’ll try one again. Maybe.
? Martin
Surely the GOP will pass legislation making it illegal for nuns to vote now.
ruemara
@BArry: Actually, if you freeze firm tofu, defrost it and drain it dry, you get a nice crisp for you stir fry. A little coating of a cornstarch batter works too. My top tofu recipe is to drown it in about 12 oz of sake, dash of salt or Bragg’s Amino Acid, 5 spice powder, fresh grated ginger, the juice of either a whole orange or two tangerines, a little zest of said fruit and let it marinate at least 2 days but a week is awesome. Then fire up the grill with some fruit wood or hickory and smoke that puppy until you get a nice perfume with a deep brown all over. It’s fantastic for sammies, or slicing up with oven fries.
? Martin
@NickT: I’m working on the baconated grapefruit, myself.
Steeplejack
@TG Chicago:
/punctuationjerk
Corner Stone
@ruemara: Good God. Be thankful you haven’t been arrested for possession of WMDs at this point.
NickT
@? Martin:
No, no. This is vilest heresy. Grapefruit followed by good coffee is one of the highest achievements of modern civilization.
Violet
@BArry: I avoid tofu for the most part because I avoid as much soy as I can. Anyone with a thyroid condition, which I have, needs to be aware that soy isn’t good for thyroids. Even my Endocrinologist gave me that lecture when I first saw him. I limit my soy to edamame because that’s a pretty natural form. Things like soy milk are the worst because they’re so processed. Tofu depends on how it’s been made.
Soy is in so many processed foods that it’s hard to avoid completely unless you never eat anything processed, so I figure I get plenty by accident or when I’m eating out or whatever. I do the best I can to avoid it when I can.
Redshift
@NickT:
I have a caffeinated maple bacon lollipop around here somewhere. I should find it; I got it for Christmas and I put it away somewhere.
Steeplejack
Semi-technical question for the brain trust: My Droid Incredible has been telling me it needs to do a system update about every two or three weeks, which is much more frequently than before. When I say yes, it says it is going to shut down to reboot and do the update, but after it counts down it doesn’t shut down; it just goes back to whatever screen I was on when the notice popped up.
I am wondering if the update is failing because I don’t have enough free memory available for it to go through. I don’t have a lot of apps on my phone, but I am not scrupulous about deleting text-message threads, call logs, etc., so I probably have a lot of shmutz on the phone. But I don’t get a message saying “Not enough memory”—or anything else. I don’t think the update is happening in the background, because I do remember some updates back in the day, and it was a big deal: the phone did shut down, there was a lot of backing and forthing, but with informative messages all the way.
Phone status says it’s currently on Android version 2.3.4, baseband version 2.15.10.12.20. Phone is about three years old.
Should I care about the update? Looking for the usual insight/uninformed speculation here.
gogol's wife
@David in NY:
Yes, Cole missed the first a that should be an o. portObellO
Yes, I am a pedant. It’s how I make my living.
Diana
You want to eat cheap and healthy, well, you have a garden, right? Start growing greens and herbs. And buy yourself Alice Water’s Chez Panisse Vegetables. Not only does she tell you how to buy and cook vegetables, she also tells you how to grow them, and encourages growing basically every vegetable except chickpeas. Twelve pages of this cookbook are dedicated to mushrooms (she assumes all your mushrooms are wild, this is Chez Panisse after all, and there are no portabellos here) but probably any one of these recipes could be adapted to a suitable sliced portabello.
She got me addicted to mustard greens, a healthy addiction to have. The book on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Chez-Panisse-Vegetables-Alice-Waters/dp/0060171472/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369795793&sr=1-1&keywords=chez+panisse+vegetables
NickT
http://catrecipes.com/
Because, you know, the survival of our species demands a counter-strike against the feline overlords. Complete with image of Cole at his day job here:
http://catrecipes.com/shopping/index.html
Redshift
@Steeplejack: It certainly sounds like the update isn’t going through. According to the Wikipedia page, it looks like the only significant improvement in the 2.3.x series is that 2.3.5 has improved battery efficiency, so the update may not be worth bothering with other than to get rid of the reminders. If it’s an update to Android 4.0.x, I wouldn’t do it; it gave me lots of problems and much worse battery life. (4.1 seems to be good, though.)
If you don’t have a lot of apps, I don’t think text messages and call logs would fill up enough memory to get in the way. Your phone company tech support might be able to help you figure out why the updates haven’t gone through, but I’d back up contacts, photos, and anything else you want to save before starting.
Yatsuno
Am I the only one with this stuck in my head?
Pete Mack
There are better mushrooms than Portabellas. Also Eggplant is a really good meat substitute, if cooked properly. So are French lentils.
Mr Stagger Lee
Heat-Pacers very entertaining, as for the Sharks-Kings, oh well wait til next year.
NickT
@Steeplejack:
Could the problem be a low battery level when the update attempts to hook up with your device?
David in NY
@gogol’s wife: Yeah, I meant “portobello, dammit.”
? Martin
@NickT: Give it up. In a thousand years baconated grapefruit will be commonplace.
NickT
@? Martin:
Along with sane Republicans?
Comrade Mary
@Yatsuno:
Not any more. Thanks?
mai naem
@Steeplejack: Can’t you look on your setting and see how much unused memory you have? I have the same Android version on my work phone and it does seem to have less memory than my newer phone but it always tells me when it’s a memory issue when I’m doing anything. If all else fails go to your phone co. and have them look at it.
MikeJ
@Yatsuno: Nah, I lived all the way on the other side of Notting Hill from there. Need a blue & white scarf?
Misterpuff
@Omnes Omnibus: Actually, insulting three branches, Forts are Army. AF is Air Force Base referring to domestic installations; Air Base when situated in foreign lands.
Now if you could get the Marines in there you’d hit the Superfecta….
Sandia Blanca
@Pete Mack: Yes to the French lentils! They cook much faster than the brown variety, and have a delicious flavor of their own that is enhanced if you add some cumin, coriander, garlic, and red pepper.
Diana
going to bed now. But this was just in the NYtimes:
http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/28/seared-tofu-with-sugar-snap-peas-and-sesame-seeds/?hpw
Ruckus
@Gin & Tonic:
When I want to get the pan hot I just turn on the stove with the pan empty. Saves all that walking about, paper towels, natural gas and having to empty the trash can. Not only that but if I don’t buy the tofu in the first place there is more money in the budget for bacon and ice cream. Which is much better than ruining your pan by putting tofu in it in the first place.
Linnaeus
Looks like that didn’t work out, but it was a very good series to watch.
Shortstop
@ruemara: goddamn, that sounds delicious.
Steeplejack
Thanks, everyone, for the input. I had to go out for about an hour to give a former coworker a ride home from work—this store has five “key-holder” managers (i.e., authorized to open or close the store), so why does the only one without a car seem to get an inordinate number of late-night closing shifts? (rhetorical question, grr!)—and I just got back on here.
@NickT:
Battery is not an issue. I have launched the update when the battery was topped up and also when the phone was plugged into the charger.
@mai naem:
Yeah, my phone does tell me how much unused memory I have, but I seem to remember that one update a long time ago failed with the message “Not enough memory.” But I haven’t been getting that message lately. According to the phone right now (all numbers are “space available”): SD card, 1.42 GB; internal storage, 6.11 GB; phone memory, 455 MB; application data storage, 19.14 MB. Only that last number seems worrisome. Maybe the upgrade specifically needs application space available for some reason.
@Redshift:
Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was thinking, other than that there might be a useful bug fix or two in there. I just wanted to check if there was some big thing that had happened that everyone knew about except me.
My irritation hasn’t reached the level to make me brave the horrors of Verizon tech support, but I’ll keep that in mind.
TG Chicago
@Steeplejack: Ha! :-) As soon as I /jerked somebody, I knew I’d set myself up for a return favor.
But shouldn’t that be an ellipses rather than a period? /jerkjerk
Steeplejack
@TG Chicago:
Hey, you decided to use a period rather than an ellipsis. I just shepherded it inside the quotation mark where it belongs.
PIGL
@Corner Stone: A question for the ages, that I for one have been considering for all of several weeks now is this. Is there any sense in which Corner Stone is anything other than a bitter, odious, bitch-face troll? After this exchange, the evidence is incontrovertible. No. He, She, or It is a nuttin-butta.
Pie pie.
hamletta
Not ‘shrooms, but my buddy made a Brussels Sprouts/bleu cheese casserole last night and it is the tits! He started with a Martha Stewart recipe and doubled the cheese, because he loves him some bleu cheese.
I was food-gasming all over the place, and he forced me to take some home.
Just nibbled some of it cold out of the fridge, and it really is that good.
RosiesDad
Marinate the mushrooms in balsamic vinaigrette, then grill them up with eggplant (if you like it), red peppers, red onions then slice up the veggies and put them on a crusty roll with some smoked mozz and use red pepper tapenade or pesto as a condiment. Perfect summer veggie sammich.
BrianK
Top the grilled portobellos with kale pesto – just toss the ingredients in a food processor or blender: blanched kale, walnuts, lemon juice, olive oil, and salt. (Add paremsan or even romano if you want, too… but I don’t find it necessary.) And while you’ve got the grill going, you can smoke some tofu. Smoked tofu is much better than grilled, and can be used in pretty much anything.
These are the things I’ve learned by being married to a vegan.