You’ve been warned.
I have this ginormous wooden pepper mill that I use, but I kind of hate it. Every piece of pepper comes out too big. And when I say it is a big pepper mill, a couple OF weeks ago I heard noises outside and I couldn’t find my big mag lite so I grabbed the pepper mill and tromped around the yard to look for intruders confident I could knock a mother fucker out with my pepper mill.
At any rate, I need a pepper mill that will grind peppercorns and give me something between these massive chunks of pepper and the shitty black pepper you get in a shaker.
Like I said, you have been warned.
*** Update ***
Post updated to make the masses happy. OF OF OF OF OF OF OF.
*** Update #2 ***
Lily thinks this thread sucks:
Maybe I am alone, but I always think I am doing something ok when all my pets are passed out in the same room, because they know they are safe and can just knock off and no one will hurt them. Plus, it’s just kind of relaxing to have a cat on the lap and two sleeping dogs in the same room. Never understand when my friends ask me if I am alone because I am “single.” Alone. LOL.
Grover Gardner
They often have an adjustment on the bottom to control the size of the grounds.
James K Polk, Esq
Peugeot. You will never buy another.
Litlebritdifrnt
gawd I love Cole. *snicker*
ulee
Those noises are in your drunken head.
var
Who gave the keys to Megan McArdle?
eemom
If you don’t insist on grinding it yourself, visit the spice rack at your grocery store and look for “coarse ground black pepper,” e.g., the McCormick brand. Not massive chunks, not shitty little granules. Juuuust right.
trollhattan
Yeah, you just became a Louis C.K. routine.
With that out of the way, reach for your wallet and buy a Peugeot pepper grinder–oui, the Frenchie French car guys make the best pepper grinder there is. You can dial it continuously from near-powder to something a little smaller than cracked peppercorns, and it’s consistent.
I resisted for years and after finally getting one, could only ask “why?”
ETA, shakes fist at James Polk
schrodinger's cat
Two suggestions:
Have you tried using a mortar and a pestle? Or you can buy a coffee grinder and use it just for spices.
dmsilev
@var: Nah, if this were a McArdle post it would be about choosing the proper blend of hyperlocal artisanal peppercorns, with obviously a separate mill for each varietal.
Suffern ACE
A mill that big is called a Rubirosa according to Wikipedia. Apparently a mill that big is capable of wooing heiresses.
ranchandsyrup
So you won’t be embarrassed when you have the mcsudermans over for dinner: chefscatalog.com/product/28690-olde-thompson-acrylic-salt-and-pepper-millls-and-shaker-set-himalayan…
Steeplejack
I really like my OXO pepper mill. Easy to adjust the grind, and at rest it sits with the business end up, so you don’t spill any pepper.
trollhattan
@dmsilev:
Hers gotta be electric. Gotta be. And yes, one for each fabulous color.
SatanicPanic
Someone add “My pepper comes out too big” to the lexicon. I, for one, plan on using this in the future.
JDM
If you’re near a Trader Joe’s the disposable one they sell peppercorns in is good.
eemom
Speaking of first world problems. 4+ years here…..all I’ve ever asked for is one lousy OF……but nooooooo…..
cathyx
This is a very deep and thoughtful post. I need to mull it over a bit before I weigh in.
Keith G
I have the best pepper mill that I have ever owned. Got it for $3.00 at Goodwill. Looks like it was mass produced pre 1990.
pokeyblow
Marcus Bachmann has the same “pepper grinder.”
BruceFromOhio
@eemom: Clearly you are not hungry, and no one is shooting at you/burning your house down/torching your granaries.
This a good thing. *cackle*
Baud
Jeez, do I have to do everything around here…?
I blame Obama.
currants
@James K Polk, Esq: What he said.
Absolutely. Peugeot Peppermills: get it through your link on this page!
BruceFromOhio
@pokeyblow: OK, but does he creep around the backyard looking to bash the interlopers?
Methinks he be spicing up some other circumstance with his ‘mill,’ and I ain’t talking no heiress.
cathyx
Since I hate pepper, using a mill as a weapon sounds reasonable.
chopper
mortar and pestle too good for you, fancy-boy?
HelloRochester
My advice: you need to grind, tighten, grind, tighten, grind, tighten. You have to do this every time you re-fill. Unless it was a POS to begin with, this will solve your problem.
cathyx
@HelloRochester: That sounds sexual.
pokeyblow
@BruceFromOhio: If you are referring to his volunteer work patrolling Minnesota highway rest stops, he’s not only keeping everyone safe, he’s also recruiting clients for his conversion clinic.
Win-win.
Jonathan
@James K Polk, Esq: I second Peugeot… they come in all sizes, and work uniformly well
pokeyblow
@HelloRochester: Did you lift those instructions from Marcus Bachmann’s website?
gogol's wife
I guess this isn’t an open thread, but I just have to say I just watched the Barbara Stanwyck Titanic movie (1953), and it was terrific.
geg6
@JDM:
McCormack’s makes one of those, too. I used to be a snob about using my own grinder. Then I used that at my friend’s house. I’ve never looked back. It’s great and adjusts the grind. And then I just buy another one when I need it. Sometimes, I’m able to get them 2 for a special price at the local grocery chain, Giant Eagle. Every now and again, they do that if you use their loyalty card. I stock up when that happens. They also have different types of peppercorns, too.
andy
I’ve got a pretty sweet pepper mill like this one. It doesn’t take up much space, and there’s a flippy-do on the bottom you can adjust to change the grind.
dance around in your bones
@JDM:
I’ll second this. We use Trader Joe’s black pepper, lemon pepper and flower pepper – all in a convenient turn it upside down and screw the thing, pepper falls out. And it’s good. Haha.
j
I had the same problem a few years back. I took the thing to my local Penzeys store and they told me where I could get a different grinding wheel.
(Also, they tried to sell me one of theirs, but…)
PGH Penzeys is in the Strip area, not too far from that Primanti’s sandwich joint.
penzeys.com/
p.a.
Ming Tsai has a battery powered mill. I have a one-hander (calm down you pervs) with a plunger instead of a screw gear. Convenient when hands are messy. I created an account on America’s Test Kitchen website for their excellent tool ratings, but am getting bombed with emails from them. Have not checked on pepper mills, I’m happy with mine.
I do remember reading you want ceramic grinders, not metal and especially not plastic. Mine are metal, so I have something to look forward to.
cyntax
Like they’re saying upthread, spring for the Peugeot and problem solved.
max
At any rate, I need a pepper mill that will grind peppercorns and give me something between these massive chunks of pepper and the shitty black pepper you get in a shaker.
I have never encountered a hand crank pepper mill that worked worth a damn, so about, GEE, 20 years ago I snagged a Braun coffee grinder and I use that for grinding all kinds of dry spices. Or dried whole peppers. Salt too. (Nope, never grind coffee.) However, the Brauns on Amazon appear to be priced to appeal to Silicon Valley start-up types (‘people with more money than sense’) and way more than I remember paying, so just digging around there’s this Delfino for 39$. If I needed a new one I’d probably get that one. Might be a better one around, but I ain’t lookin’ at the moment.
max
[‘I feel like I’m talking to someone who just got here from the 60’s.’]
raging red
Forget all of the other suggestions, you want the Unicorn Magnum pepper mill. Accept no substitutes.
Amazon link
gogol's wife
Lily is so happy! There is nothing better than a room full of sleeping animals.
El Cid
Kuhn Rikon
The Ratchet Grinder is the easiest and fastest I’ve ever used.
schrodinger's cat
@max: I have two of those Braun coffee grinders (one for coffee and one for spices) and I can swear that I got them for under $20, don’t know why they are so expensive on Amazon.
Kay
Starfrit Salt and Pepper Grinder: $16.99. You can adjust the size of the pepper flakes from very fine to very course, and the grinder mechanism seems to hold up better than grinders I’ve had in the past.
Be sure to use the Amazon link on the Balloon Juice home page!
The prophet Nostradumbass
OT: George Takei posts funny Amazon reviews.
pokeyblow
Back to the beginning: before you spend a lot of money, turn your pepper grinder upside-down and look to see whether there’s a fineness-adjustment knob.
YellowDog
Unicorn pepper mills. You’ll sleep better.
gbear
If you want specifics: William Bounds LTD #10141 Georgian Clear Pepper Mill. $15 at Bed Bath & Beyond (but it’s not on their website). Pepper is just the right size.
The Other Chuck
@p.a.:
Oh my.
pokeyblow
Trees are just the right height.
The Other Chuck
Never imagined for a moment I’d find a thread here to segue into this question, but what with everyone going on about pepper mills and grinders, are the Peugeot coffee mills any good? I had my eye on a Kyocera grinder, but wondering if someone had a recommendation.
RSR
hope this CI review posts well, but I’m too drunj to fix it :
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Cole & Mason Derwent Gourmet Precision Pepper Mill
When it comes to grind quality, this mill is tops. It made grind selection a snap, with clear markings corresponding to grind size, and every one of its six fixed settings performed well. Its transparent acrylic body proved easy to load and grasp.
Jay S
I’m not a pepper snob. We’ve been using a the Costco Kirkland plastic disposable for years now, and it seems more consistent and easier to use than our higher end grinders.
notjenna
Keep it simple! The Perfex pepper mill is one of those timeless tools that will function with simple perfection (See? It’s right there in the name!)
They’re apparently sneaking up on a hundred bucks these days (yikes! but I’ve had mine for nearly 25 years, can’t remember what I paid for it) but it has its benefits. Easy loading, adjustable grind, and to suit Cole’s specific need, the heavyish turned aluminum body fits comfortably in a fist. If you keep the larger end upward in your fist it packs a punch. Not that I’d know anything about that feature.
MattR
You are not alone. It was a wonderful feeling when Ellie finally became comfortable enough to stay in one room when I walked into another or to leave the room I was in to go nap somewhere else.
Steeplejack
@raging red:
I gave my recommendation above, but I will say that this is the one top-rated by America’s Test Kitchen.
Redshirt
What this thread shows is we need to limit the size of pepper mills. How big is too big? To use as a weapon? I don’t think so. There are children that use over sized pepper mills. Won’t you think of all the poor children struggling mightily with some gigantic novelty sized pepper mill?
Also too: Mills.
Honus
So here I am at the age of 58, after I have witnessed the president shot dead in the street, and men walking and driving cars on the moon, reading a political blog run by a guy who lives 20 miles from where I grew up, walking around in his yard with the idea of knocking out intruders with his pepper mill.
Betty Cracker
Another vote for the disposable grinders available at any good grocery store. Perfect pepper. And you never, ever have to clean it.
Redshirt
@Betty Cracker: I had two over the past two years that broke before their time. Well before their time. Cheap!
Steeplejack
@notjenna:
Linky no work. I fix: Perfex pepper mill.
Hill Dweller
Another vote for Unicorn peppermills.
dance around in your bones
♫ Pepper snobs, oh pepper snobs, oh pepper gonna drop on you ♫
Jeez, I feel like we are approaching pink Himalayan salt territory.
MikeJ
Craftsman hammer. If not a hammer you’re getting a unitasker. If not a Craftsman, you’re paying too much for snobbery.
notjenna
@Steeplejack:
Thanx! That’s Perfex.
pokeyblow
@Betty Cracker: Not sure what perfect pepper means, but I’ll observe that I have Trader Joe’s salt- and pepper-grinders, and both need adjustment occasionally. Actually, regularly.
Being a Philistine, I’m satisfied with their performance, but I’d never say they ground to the same granularity each time.
p.a.
@The Other Chuck: whoda thunk a pepper mill post would expose my psychosexual issues! And yours!
robert
Personally I like William Bounds pepper mills. They have adjustable grind, easy to use, and easy to refill. And bonus, they’re “made on the third planet from the sun.”
Jinx
I have William Bounds, both salt and pepper. Mine are about 12″ tall but my folks have nice ones that are 8″. They are stainless steel but shaped like the traditional wooden grinders. They have ceramic blades and 3 settings (fine, medium and course) that adjust on the fly. I’ve had them 15 years with no issues. I highly recommend Bounds.
wmboundsltd.com/shopexd.asp?id=410
The above is the one I have but there are plenty of other styles to choose from. The 8″ grinders and mills are about $40 a pop and when my folks got theirs, there was no tax or freight added and they got them in about 3 days.
Enjoy whatever you decide to get!
Jinx
I have William Bounds, both salt and pepper. Mine are about 12″ tall but my folks have nice ones that are 8″. They are stainless steel but shaped like the traditional wooden grinders. They have ceramic blades and 3 settings (fine, medium and course) that adjust on the fly. I’ve had them 15 years with no issues. I highly recommend Bounds.
wmboundsltd.com/shopexd.asp?id=410
The above is the one I have but there are plenty of other styles to choose from. The 8″ grinders and mills are about $40 a pop and when my folks got theirs, there was no tax or freight added and they got them in about 3 days.
Enjoy whatever you decide to get!
AkaDad
Is “cat on your lap” a euphemism?
If you keep allowing Tunch to sit on your lap his weight is gonna make you impotent.
NickT
Just remember, Cole, real pepper aficionados use a small golden hammer and chisel to sculpt the individual grains. I read that on Reason once.
dmsilev
@MikeJ:
“If it doesn’t work, hit it with a hammer. If it still doesn’t work, find a bigger hammer.”
scav
@MikeJ: Hammer! ? Big Rock, none of that fancy chipping off flakes either. Extra flavor if there’s still mud on it.
Also, Ford’s finally got company in St Clair co. IL. One judge resigned after federal heroin and gun charges, after another one died of a cocaine overdose at judge 1’s cabin and a probation officer seems to have sold them the stuff on multiple occassions. The Heartland and Flyover country! Values Ho! WaPo ChiTrib
Ken Pidcock
@Steeplejack: My vote, too. And get the matching salt grinder. Seems like the most pretentiously stupid there is until you use it. Perfect control.
raging red
@Steeplejack: I always consult ATK equipment reviews when I’m buying kitchen stuff. I don’t always buy what they recommend, but many times I do. I think I followed their recommendation for an electric juicer (20 bucks!), blender, garlic press, roasting pan, paring knife…and that’s just what I can think of off the top of my head. But seriously, that Unicorn pepper mill is the absolute best.
Jay S
@Redshirt: I had an early McCormick that never worked well. The Costco ones seem to last forever. If anything they have more pepper than we would use before it gets past use by date. You have a lot of pepper kernels that get partially ground that stick around.
OTOH we have a ceramic Thomson that is nothing but trouble. It won’t stay tightened and the grind varies quickly. Out cheap Costco disposable ends up migrating from table to kitchen and back.
Jennifer
There are a lot of nice Vic Firth peppermills on amazon.
seaboogie
John-O…
Get one of these little boogers: amazon.com/Perfex-4-1-2-Inch-Pepper-Mill/dp/B002OOVBEO
Probably won’t even be able to see it in your big paw, but it just freaking works. Adjustable grind, metal mechanism, small, and easy as all get-out to load. My ex and I both had one (I still have mine and he has his), and he used to give them as wedding gifts. It may seem like a bunch of money for something that is not very fancy, but you’ll never regret your purchase.
sacrablue
@Steeplejack: I second the OXO. I’ve only had it for three months but it works as advertised.
scav
Tudor Pepper Mill from the Mary Rose by utter happenstance.
mick mcDick
now i have a picture of cole in my head, in his fuzzy slippers and bathrobe, peering around shrubbery and brandishing a pepper mill. he needs a shave and a haircut. his eyes are red. and even thought it is may, there is snow everywhere, like The Shining.
NickT
Really sad bit of news – Jack Vance has died.
guardian.co.uk/books/2013/may/30/jack-vance-dies-96-science-fiction
EmanG
amazon.com/OXO-Good-Grips-Pepper-Grinder/dp/B001CDP6EE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369883104&s…
Seriously, you will love it, grinds in various sizes, works like a champ and feels great in the hand.
Violet
Good Lord. When did McMegan get the keys to this place?
Redshirt
I like throwing in a bit of red pepper and cayenne with the black and red peppercorns. It really gives your ground pepper a delightful zing, and that’s a good thing.
lockewasright
Dogs are the best people in the world. Cats are shady little mothers.
eemom
I iz “masses” now?? hmmm….
NickT
@eemom:
More like lumpenproletariat.
metalgirl
Here’s the best pepper mill ever: williams-sonoma.com/products/graviti-electric-salt-and-pepper-mills/?pkey=e%7Cpepper%2Bmill%7C22%7Cb…||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_-NoMerchRules-_-
I have purchased other mills before but this is the best, use it daily, and I’ve had it for at least 3 years.
I suggest buying pepper mixes online. I got a great one via Amazon a few months ago that is great (email me if you want me to dig up the link) – lots of colorful peppers and not too much black & white.
am
I see other people have mentioned it, but Alton Brown talked up the Unicorn pepper mill years ago and it really is well made, grinds easily, and really has a great range of grind fineness. I have the smaller one. I prefer that because epper goes stale, and it forces me from leaving it out in the grinder for a year.
amazon.com/Unicorn-Magnum-Pepper-Mill-Black/dp/B0006GSR76
I found out about Zassenhaus because they make some manual coffee grinders, but they started with pepper mills. I’ve never had them but Sweet Marias coffee stocks them and they are pretty good about the products they stock. They seem very well reviewed:
amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=zassenhaus+pepper+mill
I cook a lot and buy good whole pepper from spice stores because I think it’s important.
Jacel
Yes, it looks like a bunny, but it really works well, and can be operated one handed – very nice if you’re trying to fold or stir the pepper into something.
vat19.com/dvds/pepperball-pepper-grinder.cfm
pseudonymous in nc
IKEA. $6. Adjustable for grind. Ceramic grinder. Works like a charm. Not phallic. Unless you have an odd phallus.
BruceFromOhio
@Honus: Dude, that is the essence of life in this dimension. In case you haven’t figured it out by now, just roll with it.
And be nice to everybody, including yourself. Just in case.
@mick mcDick: Win. So much win.
Suzanne
@JDM: Yes. The Suzanne house, being, uh….odd….only uses the disposable Trader Joe’s grinders. Of course, we haven’t ever actually disposed of any of them, and we just take the labels off and keep filling them with different spices. We’re getting quite a collection going.
HOWEVER….I got a screaming deal on two brand new molded plywood chairs by Eames and they are being delivered next week. LOOK AT ME, I’M GROWING UP.
dianethuntress
Peppermate. Not as pricy as peugeot, but my siblings and I all swear by them. See chefs catalog.
? Martin
@raging red: This.
And everyone should check out http://thesweethome.com
No pepper mill, but lots of similar kinds of things.
? Martin
@dmsilev:
And then bitching about how excess taxation means she can’t afford the basics.
Redshirt
I put pepper on just about everything. Is that wrong? Am I breaking some sacred gormand rule?
JGabriel
eemom:
Seriously? I mean, I know we all have our quirks, but language is constantly changing . A “couple weeks” doesn’t, as far as I can see, possess any potential for confusion that would be cleared up by adding the preposition “of”.
On the other hand, I dislike ambiguous pronouns — because they can be confusing to the reader. So that’s my quirk, I guess. But I do think it’s a good rule of thumb to determine whether a non-standard expression can lead to confusion before correcting someone’s writing.
Montarvillois
I recommend without hesitation a Peugeot pepper mill. Bought my first one in the 60’s because Julia Child recommended the brand in her “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” and used it daily for over 30 years before it needed replacement. Available in any good cookware store.
Crop Dusted
I would bet a trillion dollars that Cole’s pepper mill has a small screw on the top that adjusts the size of the grind.
J.W. Hamner
@raging red:
werd.
tjlabs
It doesn’t get any better than this. And I was in the restaurant biz for 30 years. amazon.com/Pepper-Mill-Imports-Atlas-Copper/dp/B000H4QEZE/ref=sr_1_1?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&…
boatboy_srq
@pokeyblow: Need. Brain. Bleach.
Ditto Steeplejack on the OXO. Handy size, nice grind adjustment, minimal spillage, decent pricing. Although Peugeot does rock