Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

He really is that stupid.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

The National Guard is not Batman.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

If you can’t control your emotions, someone else will.

Every decision we make has lots of baggage with it, known or unknown.

If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.

Dear legacy media: you are not here to influence outcomes and policies you find desirable.

Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

When I was faster i was always behind.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Do we throw up our hands or do we roll up our sleeves? (hint, door #2)

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

We still have time to mess this up!

“Perhaps I should have considered other options.” (head-desk)

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Because of wow. / Annals of Absurdity: Why There Will Always Be An England Department

Annals of Absurdity: Why There Will Always Be An England Department

by | 135 Comments

This post is in: ,

Actual headline at the International Business Times site yesterday [photo at the link]:

Far-Right Extremists Chased Through London by Women Dressed as Badgers

Can you top that? I can’t.  (More photos here w. bonus Brian May sighting.)

Consider this another open invitation to document the weirdness in your corner of ten dimensional reality.

WLA_haa_Badger_Studying_a_Sutra_by_Shibata_Zeshin

 Image: Shibata Zeshin, Badger Studying a Sutra before 1872.

Reader Interactions

135Comments

  2. 2.

    Omnes Omnibus

    I am glad to see that people dress as badgers someplace other than Madison (and, I presume, furry conventions).

  7. 7.

    Betty Cracker

    Honey badgers DO give a shit! I say we colonists steal a page from the Olde Country and drive ‘Merkin wingnuts before us in terror of our badger garb! Who’s with me?

  8. 8.

    Baud

    Police invoked powers under the Public Order Act to force demonstrators to move back from Old Palace Yard, demanding activists from all sides return to their pre-arranged areas.

    Britain has no respect for the First Amendment.

  13. 13.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Baud:

    Britain has no respect for the First Amendment.

    Why do you think we had a revolution in the first place? Those damned Whigs with their time, place, and manner regulations, not to mention the Tories with their “I know when I see it” views on obscenity.

  14. 14.

    scav

    Badger Hats at Ascot on that side! Badgers chasing Bankers cross-Puddle! Who was that Masked Badger? !

    And they were once scared of turbans and beards . . .

  15. 15.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    The best headline I ever saw, slightly confusing as to noun/verb/adjective, was “British Left Waffles on Falklands.”

    And I think it was this site that drew my attention to the one about the Korean performers: “Skywalkers Cross Han Solo.”

  17. 17.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @maya: I knew someone was going to go “Gordon Ramsey” on this thread. The other link? Pure awesome.

    UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: “We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.”

  18. 18.

    WereBear

    @Villago Delenda Est: And gangs of old ladies roaming the streets, harassing passers-by.

    Between the heat wave, equipment trouble, and a stubborn cold, I finally got my 3rd kitty cat podcast off to the producer.

    Here’s my first two Podcasts, it’s called In a Purrfect World.

    If you are on iTunes, and if you love it, please give me a review? Thanks a huge bunch :)

    I signed up for Tom’s podcast, Virtually Speaking. And gave it a great review.

  20. 20.

    Mnemosyne

    Mel Brooks knew that this is the only possible way to get under the skin of right-wingers: ridicule.

    (This is the really long version that includes Dick Shawn’s turn as Hitler.)

  22. 22.

    Citizen_X

    Can you top that?

    That’s a good headline, but Wonkette gave best headline of 2013 to “Second sandwich hurled at PM,” and I think I have to go with their choice.

    (It’s the Aussie PM, BTW.)

  24. 24.

    WereBear

    @Mnemosyne: You are right. They can’t stand ridicule!

    I wonder if it is connected with their lousy sense of humor? I just searched for “authoritarian sense of humor” and Google had nothing.

  28. 28.

    Roger Moore

    @Violet:

    Wow, those women are hot.

    Yes, they are. Think about it. If you were the photo editor, would you rather include pictures of young, hot women or pudgy, middle-aged men, provided they got the point across equally?

  30. 30.

    burnspbesq

    @Baud:

    Britain has no respect for the First Amendment.

    Well, since Britain has no constitutional guarantee of freedom of speech, that’s hardly surprising.

  31. 31.

    ? Martin

    @Violet:

    Wow, those women are hot.

    Yeah, we have a close friend who does a lot of animal rights activism and I swung by one of their events once, and had a similar observation. Made a note to myself that should some Tardis like event happen where I landed in my 18 year old self, that I should pay a lot more attention to the animal rights movement.

  34. 34.

    James Gary

    @me: That is too cool! I assume that’s actually Brian May himself playing the guitar parts, which is even cooler.

  36. 36.

    max

    Consider this another open invitation to document the weirdness in your corner of ten dimensional reality.

    Not really weird, exactly, but Joe Weisenthal put up a post about the WSJ’s lunatic rant yesterday which produced this line:

    “Do not ask me to enter the minds of the totalitarians running this city.”

    Are they freaking out about stop and frisk? No.
    Are they freaking out about running a black intelligence program out of a municipal police department? No.
    Are they freaking out about said municipal police department being surveillance happy as the Party is in 1984? No.
    Are they freaking out about a nasty habit of arresting lots of blacks & browns and leaving them dangling, waiting years for trials? No.
    Are they freaking out about gun control or mandatory soda limits or medical marijuana or something like that? No.

    What are they freaking out about?

    “We now look at a city whose best cities are absolutely begrimed by these blazing blue Citibank bikes.” […] “It is shocking to walk around this city.” […] “The most important danger in this city is not the yellow cabs… it is the cyclists, empowered by the city administration.” […] “The bike lobby is an all-powerful enterprise.”

    A bike-sharing program. THAT’S their uh, ‘civil liberties’ freakout.

    max
    [‘One would hope, considering their abject silliness and corruption, that the entire staff of the WSJ was consumed by badgers, but I don’t think we’ll be that lucky.’]

  43. 43.

    Fred

    Badgers dig holes in well worn people paths and take big stinkin’ shits in them. And they could rip your face off.
    But those badger chicks are hot.

  45. 45.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @NickT:

    It’s easy to misinterpret some of Burnsy’s comments. I’ve done so and I have flamed some of my considerable sailor-type vocabulary his way more than once. That said, in sharing his knowledge of law I consider him to be a mainstay of this place.

  48. 48.

    scav

    @Mnemosyne: Those inside bikes contribute to GDP! if one does not drive to the gym and take the elevator to it and pay for your stairmaster and stationary cycle time, you are clearly hate capitalism and bite the invisible hand while wearing badger suits.

    Has anyone built paths yet, charged money at the gate and called them treadmills with emmersive 3D surroundings?

  51. 51.

    Todd

    OT – Finally made it to Episode 7 of the Arrested Development reboot, this being the one centered around GOB. Hanging through this point is totally worth it – it’s the final countdown, baby!

    Totally great!

  54. 54.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    You want weird? I’m in Mexico working with a German engineer in a pink Barbie branded hard hat.
    If that’s not strange enough I’ll tell you about the security rules.
    Oops gotta go here comes lunch…

  57. 57.

    Shakezula

    At first I thought the reporter had dispelled doughy. Them I realized it was … sarcasm.

    “Young women in fake fur were seem chasing doughty nationalists…”

    Brave, brave Sir Robin…

  58. 58.

    quannlace

    Talking about good headlines. There’s one right here , on the Newsmax ad.

    “Pope’s Exorcism Failed, Still ‘Possessed'”

  61. 61.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @JWL:
    I have misgivings about Clinton, but if the women look like those pictured I’ll certainly attend the rallies.

  62. 62.

    TD

    As someone who works in the “bike lobby” in New York City, the fact that we are “all powerful” came as quite the surprise. =/

  65. 65.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:
    I’m sunburned from squatting in a courtyard to comprehensively inventory 90 lbs of tools and parts. Because the inventories submitted in advance
    Weren’t
    On
    Letterhead

    I think i hallucinated Kafka from the heatstroke.

  67. 67.

    burnspbesq

    27 minutes in, USA 2-0 Germany. An exquisite volley from Altidore and a comical own-goal.

  71. 71.

    Southern Beale

    Consider this another open invitation to document the weirdness in your corner of ten dimensional reality.

    Okay, top this: I saw foi gras bubble gum for sale today.

    Not making it up, either. I took a picture. If I could figure out how to post it in a comment, I would.

  72. 72.

    Southern Beale

    Here’s some other weirdness, which I’m sure you tech geniuses can explain: I don’t know how all of this Google bombing stuff works, but I’ve noticed just in the last 24-48 hours that every time I do a Google news search I get a string of Daily Caller stories. That NEVER happened before.

    Did Daily Caller buy a Google placement or something? Is that possible?

  73. 73.

    WereBear

    @Mnemosyne: Well, King Arthur is the best. And I indulge in gluten-free cookies and the occasional gluten-free ravioli meal that is just as good as any pasta.

    Once you have a few favorites literally under your belt, remember that for maximum low-inflammation benefits, you need more creative options.

    Like, instead of a hamburger bun, use two big slices of bell pepper. A portabello mushroom cap to make a personal pizza. A nut crust on the cheesecake.

    These have the benefit of not being non-nutritive calories, but actual food. Strange as it may seem, (and I’ll cop to being strange, anytime, anywhere) I no longer miss 99% of what I used to eat, because I realize now… it wasn’t that good.

    And I am, as always, open to questions! I realize this is contrary to 10,000 years of Western Civilization. It takes some getting used to.

  74. 74.

    MikeJ

    @Southern Beale: If you were at google news and clicked on the Daily Caller story about something, google will assume you like them and offer it to you more often.

  75. 75.

    MomSense

    @Anya:

    I have a wicked crush on Jon Favreau–and this video is making it worse. Holy tamales but he is charming.

  77. 77.

    Baud

    So you want weird

    “@herszenhorn: Action star Steven Seagal joined US congressmen in Moscow to sum up trip investigating Boston Marathon bomb suspects t.co/0Ofy83u5mb“

  78. 78.

    Southern Beale

    @MikeJ:

    But I rarely click on Daily Caller stories in general, and even less from Google news. In fact, I try to avoid them if at all possible.

    I think it’s weird.

  79. 79.

    MomSense

    @quannlace:

    Someone else will have to investigate that link. I clicked on the top secret link yesterday and now I am being stalked by testosterone and hair club ads.

  80. 80.

    Alison

    @Amir Khalid: Eh, it’s just a friendly. I’m sure they’ll still be embarrassed if they do lose (KNOCK ON WOOD) but if there’s no competition advancement riding on it, it’s probably less so. Although who knows, they’re Germans :P

  82. 82.

    quannlace

    Action star Steven Seagal joined US congressmen in Moscow

    Hey, anything that keeps him away from making more movies.

  83. 83.

    burnspbesq

    @Amir Khalid:

    Is it still considered a national tragedy for a top-tier national team to lose to USA?

    It varies. In England and Mexico, absolutely. I think the Germans know we have a decent side, since so many of our guys play in the Bundesliga, so they won’t freak out. And there are still 45 minutes to go.

    The bigger event today is the women’s friendly against Canada, a rematch of the epic semifinal of the London Olympics. The Canadians have gone wacko on a continental scale and are out for revenge.

  84. 84.

    Amir Khalid

    @Alison:
    It wasn’t that long ago, maybe about the turn of the millennium, that losing even a friendly to USA could cause wailing and rending of garments in the footballing establishment of the elite countries.

  85. 85.

    Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)

    @Anya: I visited the West Wing once, and talked to the press secretary. I was amazed at how tiny it was.

  89. 89.

    Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)

    @Anya: I hear ya. I had the same idea about Graceland. I was disappointed.

    ETA: The press area is ridiculously small too. I got a photo of myself at the podium.

  91. 91.

    MomSense

    @Anya:

    Secret is safe with me! How cool that he retweeted your tweet! I don’t think it would be safe for me to follow him on twitter.

  92. 92.

    Mnemosyne

    @WereBear:

    You don’t understand. I’m Italian. I’m pretty sure that giving up pasta is a crime against my ancestors that can only be expiated with heartfelt prayer and pleas to the Blessed Mother for forgiveness.

    If my nonna who died when I was 2 years old shows up like the Ghost of Christmas Past, I know who to blame.

  94. 94.

    burnspbesq

    Getting four against Germany will give the US side a ton of confidence ahead of a dangerous World Cup qualifier away to Jamaica on Friday.

  95. 95.

    dmsilev

    @Southern Beale: Some years ago, the city of Chicago passed an ordinance banning the sale of foie gras in the city. As a reaction, various restaurants started serving foie gras in just about every form they could think of (hot dogs and pizza to name two).

    As civil disobedience goes, not exactly MLK in Birmingham jail, but it was rather weird to watch.

  96. 96.

    Amir Khalid

    @burnspbesq:
    And four it is. Friendly or not, this is really going to upset German fans. Die Mannschaft losing 4 — 1 to anyone is not a happy outcome.

  97. 97.

    burnspbesq

    @Amir Khalid:

    This is big for the US, because they looked really bad in getting shredded by Belgium earlier in the week. The consternation and angst that this result will cause in Kingston is a bonus.

  99. 99.

    Violet

    @Mnemosyne: Let us know how they turn out. I’ve had a similar experience to WereBear in that I don’t really miss the gluten and other grains. I find it easy to substitute. As for pasta, there are some reasonable rice pastas and I think buckwheat (all buckwheat) noodles are an acceptable substitute, but I know it’s not the same.

    I’ve found that my taste buds have adapted, as WereBear said. I don’t really miss it because I just don’t find myself wanting it. It wasn’t that good, imho. And I feel so much better, it makes it less desirable.

    Only you can decide when and if it’s the right thing to do to give up the gluten. WereBear and I (and others) can only offer our experiences. I know it took me a long time–including a doctor who advised giving up wheat, which I did for three months but then went back to it. I had to decide on my own what was right for me. You’re the only one who can do that.

  100. 100.

    Carrie

    What a weekend!!
    Yesterday i bought my first ever new car!
    today i got the keys to my new condo (not my first by any stretch but still exciting)
    Now, i’m spent….
    Drinks are on the house!

  101. 101.

    Roger Moore

    @Mnemosyne:

    I’m pretty sure that giving up pasta is a crime against my ancestors that can only be expiated with heartfelt prayer and pleas to the Blessed Mother for forgiveness.

    You can still have polenta and risotto.

  105. 105.

    Violet

    @Mnemosyne: Forgot to add, if you are going to be doing gluten-free baking, you might want to check around on some of the gluten-free baking websites and blogs. Doing a direct one-to-one substitution of gluten-free flour for wheat flour doesn’t always work. The flours don’t rise the same way and the gluten has a specific property that works well for baking that is somewhat hard to replicate with other flours. I haven’t done much GF baking, but I’ve read enough blogs to pick that much up.

  106. 106.

    Amir Khalid

    And meanwhile, USA hang on for a 4 — 3 home win despite a late comeback from Germany. The Deutsche fans won’t be too unhappy with that.

  108. 108.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Southern Beale:

    I’ve noticed just in the last 24-48 hours that every time I do a Google news search I get a string of Daily Caller stories.

    Very curious. I’ve been directed to Commentary magazine rthe past day or so.

  110. 110.

    Amir Khalid

    And now England are 1 — 2 up with a Wayne Rooney goal. At the Maracana, no less.

  114. 114.

    Amir Khalid

    2 — 2: Brazil equalise with five minutes to go. Man, that’s some football match.

  115. 115.

    WereBear

    @Mnemosyne: I hear ya. Can’t mess with the nonnas.

    I will never forget my first Italian Christmas. I had some delightful nibbles, and then a more hearty course, and when the lasagna arrived, I figured this was “Italian turkey” and tucked in like it was the main course.

    No. It wasn’t.

  117. 117.

    WereBear

    @Carrie: Dang, girl! Party like it’s 1999!*

    *(Copyright Prince. Slang meant ironically. Hoping you are, actually, a girl. Because this is the Internet.)

  118. 118.

    gene108

    I find the sports bias on this website to be sad.

    No discussion of NCAA basketball or baseball or softball.

  120. 120.

    Southern Beale

    BTW we saw the movie “Now You See Me” today .. it’s really, really good! 4 magicians work as modern day Robin Hoods. Just fun entertainment, we’re not talking Oscars here, just a good time.

  122. 122.

    Carrie

    @WereBear:
    Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…………..
    yes i am.
    weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…..
    must calm down.
    gonna listen to morissey for a while.

  123. 123.

    Mnemosyne

    @Violet:

    They turned out pretty well. The gluten-free flour was pretty obviously not “real” flour to my taste buds, but there wasn’t an unpleasant texture or taste to it. It was like having a veggie burger — not the same as a real burger, but still tasty in its own right.

    For now, I’m going to lean towards avoiding hidden gluten in prepared foods and minimizing high-gluten foods day-to-day. Having cereal for breakfast and pasta for lunch in the same day may have been a little too much for my system.

  124. 124.

    gogol's wife

    @Yatsuno:

    The good news: there’s a new thread.

    The bad news: it’s about drones and blood-splattered Obama.

  125. 125.

    Bruce Webb

    nymag.com/nymetro/news/anniversary/35th/n_8568/
    “Headless Body Found in Topless Bar”
    Hands down best headline ever, hell they titled a book after it. And amazingly a perfectly accurate summation of the event, a terrible accident involving a stripper, an after hours fling, and a piano on a hydraulic riser in (of course) San Francisco in its weirdest period (which is saying a lot).

  126. 126.

    KS in MA

    @Anya: Thanks– what a neat video! And, wow, I’d (almost) forgotten how many godawful crises happened one on top of the other throughout O’s first term. Just amazing.

  127. 127.

    SRW1

    @Amir Khalid:

    That was the German C-team. No Bayern and Dortmund players, no Ozil and Khedira. The purpose of the US trip and the two games by the Nationalmannschaft has been highly questioned in Germany. I suspect all the defeat against the US will do is feed those doubts.

  128. 128.

    MazeDancer

    Animal rights – most particularly badger culls – is Brian May’s main focus now. Eclipsing even Astrophysics. 80% of his tweets are about the horror of badger killing. He promotes research showing killing the badgers creates only cruelty not cow health.

    However, if you caught any of the recent Queen + Adam Lambert mini-tour, every show of which was spectacular – you would have seen ample demonstration that Dr. May’s guitar skills are still as intergalactically impressive as his PhD. (Just search YouTube for Queen + Adam Lambert and take your pick of favorite songs. At every venue.)

  129. 129.

    Bitter and Deluded Lurker

    @Mnemosyne: It could be worse. I can’t eat gluten and I can’t eat a lot of carbs, so most gluten-free pasta and flour is out of the question for me.

    I have found a low-carb gluten-free pizza crust that even my wife likes, but I’m still looking for a low-carb gluten-free pasta.

    As WereBear and Violet said, though, I don’t really miss most grains. The only thing I really do miss is beer, and I’ve gotten into wine to make up for that.

  130. 130.

    Violet

    @Mnemosyne: Glad they turned out okay! Your plan sounds good. FYI, cereal is where I first noticed my wheat sensitivity. Eating it on an empty stomach didn’t seem to work very well for me.

  131. 131.

    Cervantes

    Don’t know that I can top that but here’s one of my favorite headlines:

       Indonesian general, facing suit, flees Boston

    Story follows.

    The Boston Globe
    November 12, 1992

    Brian McGrory,
    Globe Staff

    An Indonesian general accused of contributing to the deaths
    of as many as 200,000 people has fled the Boston area after
    being sued by family members of a victim, lawyers who filed
    the suit said yesterday.

    The departure of General Sintong Panjaitan, apparently to
    his native Indonesia, represents a victory to human rights
    advocates, who wanted to send a message through the federal
    court action that the United States could not be used as a
    sanctuary for accused human right violators.

    […]

  133. 133.

    danielx

    @max:

    I want to see a headline saying “Bankers Chased Through Lower Manhattan By Women Dressed As Badgers”; that would likely give the WSJ editorial board a case of collective incontinence.

    And not a moment too soon either.

  134. 134.

    Dr. Squid

    Far-Right Extremists Chased Through London by Women Dressed as Badgers

    Mushroom mushroom?

  135. 135.

    Mo MacArbie

    Pretty sure I first read it here, but from the Sun’s sports coverage: Super Caley Go Ballistic – Celtic Are Atrocious.

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