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You are here: Home / QED

QED

by @heymistermix.com|  June 2, 20138:54 am| 82 Comments

This post is in: Teabagger Stupidity

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Grover Nordquist is a secret Muslim because he has a beard. (via)

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Reader Interactions

82Comments

  1. 1.

    schrodinger's cat

    June 2, 2013 at 8:59 am

    By that definition, are the Amish secretly Muslim too?

  2. 2.

    Dolly Llama

    June 2, 2013 at 9:00 am

    So what? Charlie Crist has a beard. So does Marcus Bachmann. So does Mitch McConnell.

  3. 3.

    Linda Featheringill

    June 2, 2013 at 9:02 am

    Oh, that is funny! Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy!

    My good angel wants to defend poor Mr. Norquist because the accusation is illogical but my bad angel wants to sit in the corner and giggle.

    Guess which angel will win?

    [Tee-hee.]

  4. 4.

    Violet

    June 2, 2013 at 9:03 am

    I thought he was a non-secret Muslim because his wife is Muslim. Can’t believe the pass the wingnuts have given him on this for the last decade. I figured he’d be an early casualty of the anti-Muslim teabaggeriness.

  5. 5.

    pillsy

    June 2, 2013 at 9:04 am

    GOP Will Eat Itself.

  6. 6.

    Linda Featheringill

    June 2, 2013 at 9:04 am

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    By that definition, are the Amish secretly Muslim too?

    The Amish also make their womenfolk stay home and dress funny. Proof!

  7. 7.

    dmsilev

    June 2, 2013 at 9:04 am

    @schrodinger’s cat: What about the Hasidic Jews? Are they Muslim as well?

  8. 8.

    the Conster

    June 2, 2013 at 9:05 am

    I love the little “oh!” from someone in the audience because he’s married to a muslim woman. These people really need to get out more.

  9. 9.

    schrodinger's cat

    June 2, 2013 at 9:06 am

    @dmsilev: Doesn’t John Cole have a beard too. He must be secretly muslin! Ask Tunch.

  10. 10.

    Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)

    June 2, 2013 at 9:10 am

    How do we know she is a witch?

  11. 11.

    RSA

    June 2, 2013 at 9:13 am

    Who would have guessed that converting the U.S. to Islam could be as easy as taking over the razor blade and shaver industry?

  12. 12.

    Schlemizel

    June 2, 2013 at 9:14 am

    Well that at least would explain why he is trying to destroy America. He has the entire GOP on his side and is succeeding, you have to admire his success!

  13. 13.

    dewzke

    June 2, 2013 at 9:15 am

    I grow hair on my face and I’m an atheist! Shave now!

  14. 14.

    Omnes Omnibus

    June 2, 2013 at 9:17 am

    @RSA: I can’t grow a good beard and I am straight. How am I supposed to get by in this new bearded America?

  15. 15.

    Just One More Canuck

    June 2, 2013 at 9:18 am

    @Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS): She turned me into a newt

  16. 16.

    dmsilev

    June 2, 2013 at 9:19 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Off to the FEMA Reeducation Camps with you!

  17. 17.

    Alex S.

    June 2, 2013 at 9:20 am

    The line ‘I don’t like Karl Rove’ got applause as well. The conservative movement is in shambles.

  18. 18.

    gene108

    June 2, 2013 at 9:20 am

    Hmmmm….so can women every be true Muslims…as they will rarely be able to grow beards?

    Also, too as every man knows having a beard is a permanent state that can never be reversed by scissors, a razor blade and shaving cream.

  19. 19.

    Omnes Omnibus

    June 2, 2013 at 9:21 am

    @Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS): Build a bridge outta her?

    @gene108:

    Also, too as every man knows having a beard is a permanent state that can never be reversed by scissors, a razor blade and shaving cream.

    Or fire.

  20. 20.

    Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)

    June 2, 2013 at 9:22 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: what also floats in water?

  21. 21.

    dewzke

    June 2, 2013 at 9:23 am

    This is an assembly of morons, conservatives in name only, but fuckos for sure.

  22. 22.

    Omnes Omnibus

    June 2, 2013 at 9:23 am

    @Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS): Very small rocks.

  23. 23.

    dewzke

    June 2, 2013 at 9:24 am

    “Very small rocks?”

  24. 24.

    Emma

    June 2, 2013 at 9:24 am

    You know, if Obama planted agents provocateur too screw up the GOP works they would do much less damage than these idiots do by themselves. Proceed, gentlemen!

  25. 25.

    Just One More Canuck

    June 2, 2013 at 9:27 am

    @Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS): A DUCK!!

  26. 26.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    June 2, 2013 at 9:28 am

    @dmsilev: Speaking of camps, the wifey and I took a day trip yesterday to Whitney Portal and included a side trip to Manzanar. Guess that was the evil dems early attempt at FEMA camps.

  27. 27.

    Omnes Omnibus

    June 2, 2013 at 9:28 am

    @Emma: This really is a “Never interrupt your enemy while he is making a mistake” moment, isn’t it?

  28. 28.

    Poopyman

    June 2, 2013 at 9:31 am

    “Grover Norquist is Trouble, with a capital ‘T'”. I half expected the music to come up and for her to go off on a diatribe against pool. In any event, I got the same vibe as Henry Hill put out.

  29. 29.

    dmsilev

    June 2, 2013 at 9:32 am

    @gene108:

    Also, too as every man knows having a beard is a permanent state that can never be reversed by scissors, a razor blade and shaving cream.

    That just means he’s an undercover Muslim!

  30. 30.

    Omnes Omnibus

    June 2, 2013 at 9:34 am

    @Poopyman:

    I got the same vibe as Henry Hill put out.

    Grifter? How odd.*

    *”That was my father’s name.”

    Bonus points for guessing the movie.

  31. 31.

    dewzke

    June 2, 2013 at 9:35 am

    Good Fellas?

  32. 32.

    jeffreyw

    June 2, 2013 at 9:38 am

    Kittehs just loves them some manly, bearded men. If they have manly noses.

  33. 33.

    Emma

    June 2, 2013 at 9:39 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Being not of a kind disposition towards the current incarnation of the GOP, I would even add a little fuel to the fire. Which in fact may be what Obama does from time to time.

  34. 34.

    Emma

    June 2, 2013 at 9:41 am

    @jeffreyw: Now there’s an aaaawwwwww sort of picture!

  35. 35.

    becca

    June 2, 2013 at 9:45 am

    @pillsy:

    The GOP! It’s whatzfordinner!

  36. 36.

    Jay in Oregon

    June 2, 2013 at 9:48 am

    @pillsy:

    GOP Will Eat Itself

    This would make a great article tag.

  37. 37.

    schrodinger's cat

    June 2, 2013 at 9:49 am

    @jeffreyw: Is it Ceiling Cat and Moses?

  38. 38.

    Poopyman

    June 2, 2013 at 9:51 am

    OT, and I’m not gonna click on it, byt what’s up with the Newsmax headline

    Pope’s Exorcism Failed, Still ‘Possessed’

    Inquiring minds, etc, etc.

  39. 39.

    IowaOldLady

    June 2, 2013 at 9:51 am

    In that pic, I totally misread MB as MLB and wondered if the Great American Passtime was now a target.

  40. 40.

    michelle

    June 2, 2013 at 9:59 am

    @Poopyman:
    Here’s a link to a NY Mag article that will explain part of it.

  41. 41.

    Shortstop

    June 2, 2013 at 10:00 am

    It must be so weird to shave your face. To misappropriate an Elaine Benes line, I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.

  42. 42.

    jeffreyw

    June 2, 2013 at 10:09 am

    @schrodinger’s cat: Yeah, pretty much, but you misspelled Noses

  43. 43.

    Tokyokie

    June 2, 2013 at 10:10 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Whattyatalk, whattyatalk, whattyatalk. Ahem, Henry Hill is the character played by Ray Liotta in Goodfellas. Harold Hill is the character played by Robert Preston in The Music Man.

  44. 44.

    Woodrowfan

    June 2, 2013 at 10:12 am

    Is this the same woman that a couple years ago when writing the Texas republican platform claimed that the idea of free public education came directly “from Moscow”??

  45. 45.

    Baud

    June 2, 2013 at 10:12 am

    Everyone knows secret Muslims don’t have their faces but do shave their pubes. So Norquist is halfway to passing the secret Muslim test.

  46. 46.

    Todd

    June 2, 2013 at 10:16 am

    @Violet:

    I thought he was a non-secret Muslim because his wife is Muslim. Can’t believe the pass the wingnuts have given him on this for the last decade. I figured he’d be an early casualty of the anti-Muslim teabaggeriness.

    Raging lunatic Deb Schlussel has been on his ass for years.

  47. 47.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    June 2, 2013 at 10:20 am

    @jeffreyw: Bitsy! (?) How’s Katie?

  48. 48.

    Throwin Stones

    June 2, 2013 at 10:21 am

    @Dolly Llama: But Grover’s beard is muslin.

  49. 49.

    Seanly

    June 2, 2013 at 10:26 am

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. I heartily approve of long & bloody internecine warfare among the GOP. I enjoyed hearing the crowd clap when the lunatic said she didn’t like Karl Rove.

  50. 50.

    Linda Featheringill

    June 2, 2013 at 10:27 am

    @Baud:

    Shaving the pubes.

    I didn’t know that.

    Does that mean that old humans, as they lose hair in all kinds of places, morph into Muslims? What if they were atheist when they were more hirsute?

  51. 51.

    jeffreyw

    June 2, 2013 at 10:34 am

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Here’s the latest update.

  52. 52.

    Baud

    June 2, 2013 at 10:34 am

    @Linda Featheringill:

    Religion is kind of like virginity. Nobody really cares if you’re old.

  53. 53.

    MomSense

    June 2, 2013 at 10:37 am

    My non-theist, hipster, musician son is a secret muslin!

    @Baud:

    What??? Is that in the secret muslin manual?

  54. 54.

    Baud

    June 2, 2013 at 10:38 am

    @MomSense:

    Page 36.

  55. 55.

    Bruce Baugh

    June 2, 2013 at 10:45 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: From what I remember watching Batman on TV as a child, you can do the King Tut thing of a prosthetic paste-on beard.

  56. 56.

    danielx

    June 2, 2013 at 10:45 am

    Grover Norquist is a secret Muslim because he has a beard.

    Of course he is. So was that secret liberal Abraham Lincoln, not to mention U.S. Grant and Robert E. Lee.

    @Dolly Llama:

    And so does Lindsey Graham, aka Huckleberry Closetcase.

  57. 57.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    June 2, 2013 at 10:53 am

    @dewzke: Put on a beret with a star on it and you can be Che! But that makes you a gawldurrned Commuunnnitst!

  58. 58.

    MomSense

    June 2, 2013 at 10:53 am

    @danielx:

    Is John McCain the beard??

  59. 59.

    dewzke

    June 2, 2013 at 10:54 am

    @danielx:

    Huckleberry Closetcase? noice.

  60. 60.

    burnspbesq

    June 2, 2013 at 10:57 am

    @Tokyokie:

    But he doesn’t know the territory!

  61. 61.

    RSA

    June 2, 2013 at 10:57 am

    @Bruce Baugh:

    From what I remember watching Batman on TV as a child, you can do the King Tut thing of a prosthetic paste-on beard.

    Or even the reverse, like Cesar Romero, with white make-up slathered on top of a mustache.

  62. 62.

    WereBear

    June 2, 2013 at 10:59 am

    @schrodinger’s cat: They hide it so well.

  63. 63.

    dswagz

    June 2, 2013 at 11:03 am

    Married to a Muslim; sporting a beard, and trying to derail our government by starving and obstructing to the point where the US government is just large enough to strangle in a bathtub.. Imagine the scrutiny if he were a Dem….

  64. 64.

    ranchandsyrup

    June 2, 2013 at 11:10 am

    What about chuck Norris? Behind his beard is a muslin fist?

  65. 65.

    Joel (Macho Man Randy Savage)

    June 2, 2013 at 11:12 am

    And he holds his finger up like Khamenei.

  66. 66.

    Citizen_X

    June 2, 2013 at 11:21 am

    @Baud:

    Everyone knows secret Muslims don’t have their faces but do shave their pubes.

    *Gasp!* They’ve infiltrated our pr0n!

  67. 67.

    Baud

    June 2, 2013 at 11:33 am

    @Citizen_X:

    Our most sacred institution. Bastards!

  68. 68.

    gnomedad

    June 2, 2013 at 11:40 am

    @Poopyman:
    I suspect some loons are going CINO on this Pope because he suggested atheists might not go to hell.

  69. 69.

    Dolly Llama

    June 2, 2013 at 11:49 am

    @danielx: Nope, Not Lindsey. He is a lifelong bachelor. Poses in Christmas cards with his sister and her kids.

  70. 70.

    Liberty60

    June 2, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    I heard that Michele Bachmann has a beard.

  71. 71.

    WereBear

    June 2, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    @Liberty60: I heard that Michelle Bachman IS a beard.

  72. 72.

    p.a.

    June 2, 2013 at 12:52 pm

    The lack of male facial hair means you are a beard Muslim. At least a decade back the word ‘Moslem’ was used a lot. What happened? Is it now considered a poor transliteration? Or an insulting usage?

  73. 73.

    The Other Chuck

    June 2, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    @p.a.:

    At least a decade back the word ‘Moslem’ was used a lot. What happened? Is it now considered a poor transliteration? Or an insulting usage?

    Archaeic transliteration from an uncommon regional dialect, the same sort of thing that gave us “Peking” instead of “Beijing”.

  74. 74.

    The Other Chuck

    June 2, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    @p.a.: FWYP wouldn’t take my edit: the Arabic pronunciation pronounces it “Moose-lim”, others make it a short U. They’re both correct seeing as how the proper spelling is in Arabic, but it’s just one of those things where different transliteration standards become dominant.

    At least we don’t have to deal with the dozen or so romanizations of Qadaffi anymore.

  75. 75.

    bubba

    June 2, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    And South Carolina is a Secret Muslim caliphate, what with that crescent moon and all as its symbol.

  76. 76.

    The Other Chuck

    June 2, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    @Alex S.:

    The line ‘I don’t like Karl Rove’ got applause as well.

    They dislike Rove because he’s a loser who called it wrong and they see that as costing them power. Power is all they respect.

  77. 77.

    Michael G

    June 2, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    Based on my experience, he could also secretly be a Unix sysadmin.

  78. 78.

    West of the Rockies

    June 2, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    @Alex S.: Yes…. isn’t it wonderful? I love wingnut-on-wingnut crime.

  79. 79.

    steverino

    June 2, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    The pronunciation “muslim ” sounds like an offensive word.

  80. 80.

    drkrick

    June 2, 2013 at 8:03 pm

    @danielx: in memory of Jean Stapleton, “I didn’t know Lincoln was Jewish.”

  81. 81.

    Redshirt

    June 2, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    Everyone in America from 1820-1888 was a Muslim. So many beards.

    Where do mutton chops fit on the theology scale? Too Amish?

  82. 82.

    Kib

    June 3, 2013 at 5:20 pm

    Tebow’s Muslim beard must be why he can’t get an NFL gig.

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