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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Blackity Black Ops

Blackity Black Ops

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Dr. Keith Ablow of Fox News’ “Medical A Team” (he must be the “Howling Mad Murdoch” character) has a deeply insane column up in which he theorizes that, instead of being the lazy, shiftless incompetent most Fox viewers understand him to be, President Obama is actually a wily super-villain who is waging “psychological warfare on Americans” via ultra-sophisticated blackity-black ops:

The techniques are often combined with black ops strategy, in which covert initiatives seek to dispirit, disempower and confuse adversaries.

The psychological warfare has continued, I believe, with other opportunities the president has had to make American’s [sic] question their individual freedoms and autonomy.

Ablow cites the thus-far futile attempt to restrict access to high-capacity magazines and improve background checks in the wake of the Newtown massacre as an attempt to wage “psychological warfare on the American belief that force is justifiable when confronting evil.”

This cleverly disguised pacifism explains why everyone on the left is united in praising Obama’s remote-controlled airdrops of Yoga videos, scones and instant latte cups in Yemen and Waziristan, as well as the accidental aerial disbursement of GameStop cards on the odd Afghan wedding party.

Ablow also espies dastardly blackity-black ops plots in the IRS and AP brouhahas and even Benghazi:

Seen through the lens of psychological warfare, the failure to defend our embassy in Benghazi need not be understood simply as a screw-up. It could reflect an actual strategy on the part of the administration to reinforce the notion that homicidal violence born of hatred toward America is understandable—even condonable—because we have generated it ourselves and are reaping the harvest of ill will we have sown. In other words, we should take our punishment.

Whereas consigning Osama bin Laden to the briny deep was what, a sack-dance in the end zone of failed whitey GWB?

Nut-picking, you say? But these aren’t the rantings of some random, syphilitic, bunny-hoarding Freeper — well, they are! — however, Ablow is also often included in the so-called “straight news” Fox programming.

The mind reels.

Reader Interactions

99Comments

  1. 1.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Supervillians are almost always lazy, shiftless and incompetent. This is why they have minions, commit crimes and generally fail spectacularly at destroying the planet with a death ray.

  2. 2.

    Emma

    My mind has stopped reeling. It just wants to hurt people badly at this point. I used to think they were stupid (really believed what they were spewing) or greedy (say anything for a healthy paycheck); now I know they are deeply evil. It amazes me they announce themselves as Christian and by the time they say “hello, nice to meet you” they have lied three times.

  3. 3.

    MikeJ

    The techniques are often combined with black ops strategy, in which covert initiatives seek to dispirit, disempower and confuse adversaries.

    So that’s what they’re calling elections these days.

  4. 4.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Keith Ablow is Jake Tapper’s brother-journamalist, and you are gonna give Jake a sad.

  6. 6.

    danimal

    Making his opponents embrace Teh Crayzee is Obama’s superpower, and it’s much more effective than any comic book writer could imagine.

  7. 7.

    pokeyblow

    These are the republicans Obama insists on reaching out to, again and again and again.

    They hate him, and that will never change. And being inclusive toward fucking white supremacists, neoconfederates, and various other right-wing shitheads isn’t helping the country one bit.

  8. 8.

    japa21

    Will there ever be a time when people stop using the word embassy in talking about Benghazi? I have a feeling the same attack on the actual embassy would not have been as succesful.

  9. 9.

    El Caganer

    And this lunacy is on the Fox website, which isn’t even close to being the wingnuttiest site out there. Pretty depressing.

  10. 10.

    MikeJ

    @japa21:

    I have a feeling the same attack on the actual embassy would not have been as succesful.

    Under the Bush regime there were over a dozen attacks on embassies (not counting in Iraq) with almost 100 people killed.

  11. 11.

    pokeyblow

    Dr. Keith Ablow is the go-to guy for reckless and irresponsible psychological speculation. That makes him a key part of Fox’s propaganda team.

  12. 12.

    Mudge

    @Emma: I have felt for ages that folks like Ablow (let’s say Republicans in general) are lying sociopaths. Not all of them are racist. It is interesting to see the Republican governor rebellion where the bottom line is that the governors want to do something (extend Medicaid) that is not blatantly sociopathic. I am not ready to ascribe their intentions to the acquisition of empathy, it may have political or financial roots, but the outcome, if successful, will help the less fortunate members of society. Those same governors are now fighting the Medicaid extension battle with the Keith Ablows in their state legislatures.

  14. 14.

    JGabriel

    Keith Ablow:

    The {president’s] techniques are often combined with black ops strategy, in which covert initiatives seek to dispirit, disempower and confuse adversaries.

    Dr. Ablow,

    You are not dispirited, disempowered, and confused by President Obama’s techniques.

    You are dd&c because fewer and fewer people will vote for a party that is characterized, by polls that Republicans commissioned themselves, as: closed-minded, racist, rigid, old-fashioned. Not to mention sexist, homophobic, war-mongering, hypocritical, self-dealing, dismissive of anyone with less than a million dollars in assets, anti-science, anti-art, and, quite frankly, irrational and utterly bonkers.

    Truly and Sincerely,

    (Insert Name Here)

    .

  15. 15.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    I’m in awe of their ability to hold two opposing viewpoints simultaneously. One day Barack Obama is a lazy and stupid, the next he’s an uppity elitist. Today he is an ineffectual closeted homosexual, tomorrow he will be Stalin on steroids.

    I have family members who claim Obama was elected because of white guilt and others who think he’s a lazy know-it-all – but they don’t have any issues with race at all. And they’re not even Republicans. They’re just reasonable, moderate independents that always vote for Republican candidates and speak in FOX News talking points.

    I really hope Hillary Clinton runs in 2016 because I want the Republicans to crank it up another notch on the crazy meter. I want their heads to explode.

  20. 20.

    SatanicPanic

    we have generated it ourselves and are reaping the harvest of ill will we have sown- This is a perfect description of Republicans’ current electoral situation

  22. 22.

    ? Martin

    @Just Some Fuckhead: It takes a certain degree of initiative to not only envision a launch facility inside of a volcano, but to also hire a contracting firm to construct it without leaving any evidence or eyewitnesses behind, and then to do all of the hiring of those henchmen. It’s not like you can put a job listing on Monster for that sort of thing.

    Perhaps the death ray failures are simply a result of them being exhausted from all of the HR paperwork.

  24. 24.

    Violet

    Oh, yeah. Keith Ablow. He who said that Joe Biden was showing signs of dementia, that if kids watched Chaz Bono on Dancing with the Stars they’d reconsider their own gender, and who thinks people who aren’t stockpiling survival gear are the crazy ones. That guy. Certainly an expert I’d trust.

  25. 25.

    Citizen_X

    The nerve of That Man, using words and facts to convince people!

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: Obama was elected because of white guilt

    I didn’t have white guilt in 2008, but ever since then? It’s been increasing every time one of these psychos opens his piehole.

  27. 27.

    Shakezula

    That’s right Dr. Ablow (is that his name, seriously?) Obama is making you hit yourself. And he’s chanting “Stop hitting yourself!” while he does it. The DASTARD!

    Tell mom to make him stop. That will show him.

  28. 28.

    Anya

    The university that awarded “Dr.” Keith Ablow his medical degree or doctorate in psychology (not gonna bother to check) should be ashamed.

  29. 29.

    MattF

    Not left with a lot of attractive options here, when ‘FOX Museum of Psychopathology” is merely descriptive.

  30. 30.

    Suffern ACE

    @japa21: Actually, I’m kind of surprised that the CIA compound hasn’t morphed into the “Indiana State Capitol building in our HEARTLAND or might as well have been” in the minds of Benghazzi crazies.

  31. 31.

    Nina

    Truly evil psychological warfare would be dropping nude yoga videos in Betamax format.

  32. 32.

    Cassidy

    @? Martin: That’s the problem with building an underground ZA bunker with power and water, food, and weapons and ammo…you gotta kil everyone after they built it. Seems so ungrateful.

  34. 34.

    raven

    @japa2140 some years later most people think that chopper took off from the embassy in Saigon too. Xin Loi GI.

  35. 35.

    Anya

    UGH! TPM driving nuts when they try to be HuffPo. They have this screaming headline: Obama: Filibuster This
    D.C. Circuit Court Picks Test GOP Mettle

    What the freaking fuck! Nominating judges when I vacancy arises is a normal presidential responsibility. This should not be portrayed as a showdown or Obama daring the GOP to filibuster. Fuck it. I give up!

  37. 37.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    We have only ourselves to blame .By eradicating hookworm and making it possible for people who would have in earlier days been killed by their own stupidity to live we’ve enabled the kind of entrenched stupidity that we see now.

    No good deed goes unpunished.

  39. 39.

    JGabriel

    Miki:

    Am I the only one who thinks this reads like a high-school freshman essay?

    It depends. Are we talking about the kind of sociopathic freshman who seeks out and reads Mein Kampf because he identifies with Hitler’s world-view?

    If so, then no, you are not alone.

  41. 41.

    Suffern ACE

    @Cassidy: not only that, but the evil geniuses lose all of that secret bunker building know how. Which is why evil geniuses of the next generation will keep making the same mistakes.

  42. 42.

    ? Martin

    I can’t believe people are arguing over this op-ed given that Obama can now cause earthquakes:

    Several countries monitoring Iran’s nuclear program have picked up information that the country’s only power-producing nuclear reactor was damaged by one or more of several recent earthquakes, with long cracks appearing in at least one section of the structure, two diplomats said Tuesday.

    Of course, in addition to the insidious power to move tectonic plates, Obama is also so goddamn lazy that he refused to push a single red button that would have wiped Iran off the map.

  43. 43.

    belieber

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: You firebaggers/kostards/Clintonistas and your Hillary obsession are just as bad in other ways.

    Not to be confused with a defense of right wing nuts btw. That’s a whole other kind of dumb crazy.

  44. 44.

    LittlePig

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate:
    There’s a frightening amount of truth in that observation.

    They’re spoiled brats. They never grew up and wouldn’t know ‘personal responsibility’ if it bit them on the ass. Privileged people raised in a bubble, pissed off that nobody recognizes them as Legendary Patriots.

    Someone noted the other day that these folks must have a heroic fantasy movie playing 24/7 in their heads, with themselves as Hero Of Civilization. Good grief.

  46. 46.

    RaflW

    Conservatism can’t fail, it can only be blocked by comic book psy-ops.

    Clearly, the green shoots of a reform movement that David Frum spied with his naked (and semi-retiring) eye is in the process of being trampled by nutbags. Good.

  47. 47.

    Gin & Tonic

    @raven: I know a guy who was on that last chopper out. You know where it left from, so you know why he was there.

  48. 48.

    Miki

    @JGabriel:

    It depends. Are we talking about the kind of sociopathic freshman who seeks out and reads Mein Kampf because he identifies with Hitler’s world-view?

    If so, then no, you are not alone.

    Dat be da one.

  49. 49.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    @Anya: Did you read his speech about it? He started out by telling Republicans that since he’s done his job, they need to do theirs. He called them out on stating that somehow we now only need 8 judges, comments which seem to only occur when Democrats are in charge.

    He threw something down with that speech.

  51. 51.

    Patricia Kayden

    Betty, you are hilarious. You need to apply for a job with Jon Stewart. He needs your wit and sarcastic humor.

    Alas, Fox News doesn’t need you since they appear to have unintentionally hilarious writers already working for them.

  52. 52.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @Joel:

    @Anya: Johns Hopkins, unfortunately.

    And I remember being an undergraduate with him at Brown in the early 80s. He seemed normal enough back then.

    He should know better, but I guess he’s sold himself to the wingnuts. What a disgrace.

  54. 54.

    Linda Featheringill

    Just gotta say:

    The techniques are often combined with black ops strategy, in which covert initiatives seek to dispirit, disempower and confuse adversaries.

    Yup. How’s it working?

    Even those of us who don’t believe in divine intervention suspect that Barack has a guardian angel that does this for him.

  57. 57.

    Anya

    @Belafon (formerly anonevent): I hate the way important judicial nominations is portrayed by a serious organization as a game. It’s not a fucking game. Yes, the President is calling out the republicans for their obstructionist acts but he’s not playing games. This is not a gimmick and that’s what that stupid headline tells me.

  60. 60.

    Suffern ACE

    @Paul in KY: well if you promise not to kill your minions, you can hire me for risk management consulting and continuity management. But my SoW is very specific on the whole “kill me and this contract is void”. It’s a measurable KPI, and fairly standard in the industry.

  61. 61.

    nineone

    Hee-hee-hee “Blackity Black”. Never stops being funny ‘cos it’s so true.

  62. 62.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    @belieber:

    I think you’re confusing me with someone else. I’m definitely not a firebagger – I’m not a big fan of the Jane Hamster’s of the left. I voted for Obama in 2008. I don’t read Daily Kos diaries.

    I’m going to vote for Hillary Clinton because I’m a card-carrying Democrat. I voted for Clinton in ’92, was too baked to vote in ’96. Voted for Gore and Kerry in 2000 and 2004 and B Barry Bamz in 08 and 12.

    Just a normal, run of the mill Democrat who thinks Hillary Clinton is the best bet to keep the Executive Branch under Democratic control. And her election will probably make Republicans heads explode, Scanners style.

  63. 63.

    negative 1

    I can’t wait until 2020 when Fox is still accusing Obama of waging war despite having been out of office for 4 years. “It seems like his term was over and he left… but it’s part of his plan!”

  67. 67.

    belieber

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: Then why did you say you hope Hillary runs? If you think a 66yo woman with all the Clinton baggage has it in the bag you are delusional.

    Also, the Clintons represent the old establishment. Those are the advisors they surround themselves with which to me is a step backwards.

    Yea, she’s still 10 times better than anything Repubs will offer but Dems can do better.

  68. 68.

    The Other Chuck

    Someone really needs to whisper into Ablowhard’s ear the idea that Obama is developing mind-control satellites and has infiltrated the Fox newsroom. With any luck, he’ll appear on-air wearing an actual tin-foil hat.

  69. 69.

    Redshirt

    Dr. Ablow is clearly a false flag to hide the fact Evil Mastermind Obama Soetoro needs his teleprompter to tell him what to do.

  70. 70.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Cassidy:

    That’s the problem with building an underground ZA bunker with power and water, food, and weapons and ammo…you gotta kil everyone after they built it. Seems so ungrateful.

    Not to mention, spectacularly shortsighted. Hiring, training and getting new employees up to speed is a huge cost driver in a business.

  72. 72.

    El Cid

    Yes, it’s the fault of Obama’s devious manipulations that Republicans and the entire American right act as gibbering idiots.

    What a devious scoundrel!

    He has taken our brains!

  73. 73.

    Redshirt

    Pshaw! Evil Mastermind 101 teaches you that when building your super secret HQ of DOOM, you use a series of different contractors, preferably “silencing” the previous crew, and you keep them limited as to the entire scope of the DOOM.

  74. 74.

    Bruce S

    The guy has a point. President Obama is indeed successfully waging psychological warfare on “conservative Americans” as claimed in the column, insofar as this column itself is evidence of the fact that he’s driving them totally crazy. Not the President’s intention, but he can’t help himself – the simple truth is he’s black and they can’t handle that. Nor can they admit that’s the reason he’s driving them totally fucking nuts – so they make up this shit that’s even more insane.

  77. 77.

    nineone

    @ranchandsyrup: Propah!

    Judges would also have accepted any songs from Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, Thyme. Or was it Rhyme? It’s been a while, and I’m not as spry as I used to be.

  78. 78.

    Bruce S

    @El Cid:

    Yes, it’s the fault of Obama’s devious manipulations skin color that Republicans and the entire American right act as gibbering idiots.

    Fixed that…

  79. 79.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    @belieber: I hope Hillary Clinton runs because I think Hillary Clinton is an excellent candidate. I’m a Democrat and I want to win elections and I think Clinton is the best bet. Everyone already know who she is, she has huge bases of support with every constituency that makes up the Democratic coalition. Obama won easily with less people on board than Hillary Clinton will have supporting her. I want a blow-out. I want every woman, minority, GLBT, youth vote along with straight white guys like me.

    And I want the Republicans to be pushed even further over the edge. I want their heads to explode, and Hillary Clinton is just the person to get it done.

    I don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good and Hillary Clinton is damn good.

  80. 80.

    Paul in KY

    @Redshirt: I think that method has been discredited in today’s 24 hour news world. With all the communications devices now, it is much harder to keep the wholesale murder of one of your consulting/engineering groups secret anymore. Once that gets out, you just can’t get top flight help anymore.

    Have to go to Temp Evildoer Services and the like.

  81. 81.

    belieber

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: There you go sounding like an obsessed Clintonista again.

    Obama won because he was the better candidate with more support…full stop. Just because you say you are a democrat who voted for Obama does not mean you are not a Clintonista. The definition of which is someone obsessed with the idea of Hillary Clinton as president to the point. Also typically but not necessarily very critical of Obama for the same reason. Because they still believe that she should have won in 2008. That is a Clintonista and it’s also dillusiona

  82. 82.

    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford

    @Paul in KY: Paul in KY, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us get together, forget it.

  89. 89.

    Paul in KY

    @Redshirt: I see your point. Note to self: Do not do business with Redshirt unless the specific CEE language in place.

  90. 90.

    cvstoner

    I suppose this one theory.

    Another could be that most people are coming to realize that the Republican party no long cares to hide the fact that it is totally and completely batshit fucking howl at the moon crazy, and this is becoming a matter of concern for those who still believe in the American experiment.

  91. 91.

    gocart mozart

    So, they’re accusing him of being a good politician do I have that right?

  92. 92.

    debbie

    @cvstoner:

    I was listening to an NPR interview this afternoon with Grassley about the Federal court nominations. Toward the end, his voice raised both in volume and pitch, and he asserted that Obama’s court nominations are really just a diversion from the Benghazi scandal. Bat-shit crazy.

  94. 94.

    Another Halocene Human

    Dropping video games (with the players, I hope, and some power supplies?) sounds like an absolutely brilliant plan! TV’s, internet devices, too. Wireless units that a village can run. Solar arrays.

    HOOK THEM ON TIMEWASTERS. Hey, it worked for Japan. Really reduces the whole ultraviolence when all that energy gets poured into a game instead.

  96. 96.

    Another Halocene Human

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: I have news for you, in that GenX/Y like me and my friends haven’t forgotten Clinton’s shenanigans in the 1990s, like pushing censorship with Tipper Gore.

    No, I am NOT going to the barricades for Clinton. Full stop.

    Good luck with the Millennials, tho. They think she’s a BAMF meme, tho of course a lot of them are pissed at the Democratic party (and the democratic process) for not delivering that pony YESTERDAY.

  98. 98.

    Tehanu

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford:

    Your votes over the last 20 years are the same as mine and I’m not “obsessed” with Hillary Clinton either … so I heartily agree with your response to belieber. What’s “obsessive” is the likes of belieber imagining that a candidate farther left than Hillary has a snowball’s chance in hell with the national electorate as currently constituted.

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