Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

Trump should be leading, not lying.

“Facilitate” is an active verb, not a weasel word.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

I really should read my own blog.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

These are not very smart people, and things got out of hand.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

Let me file that under fuck it.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

The current Supreme Court is a dangerous, rogue court.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Text STOP to opt out of updates on war plans.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Gonna Be a Long Night for the Company

Reader Interactions

104Comments

  2. 2.

    dewzke

    I would kick your ass for the pic if it was me but he does look like he needs the sleep.

  10. 10.

    JGabriel

    John Cole:

    Time to break out the red laser.

    And aim it at Aaron’s face or stomach?

  13. 13.

    Hal

    Holy shit, you’re friends with Honey Boo Boo’s Mom??? Kidding. This is why I avoid camera’s like the plague. I always look like a giant globe with a little head on top.

  15. 15.

    Corner Stone

    I could’ve sworn you described this refugee from the ’80’s as a “good friend”.
    And yet, here is a picture of him in his most vulnerable.

  18. 18.

    ? Martin

    @dewzke:

    Cole, vid the red laser and let us see Tunch move!

    You can’t actually see Tunch move as it is the earth that shifts beneath the more massive body.

  20. 20.

    Corner Stone

    I purposely missed testimony from the nutbags of the tea party the IRS forcibly forced themselves on.
    But just saw a few blurbs on L O’D on MSNBC and those fucking people are crazy.

  22. 22.

    Corner Stone

    @Spaghetti Lee: I figure he’s a cast off roadie for The Dead or Little Feat or some godforsakencastoffgarbagetimemusicianmotherfuckersfromthewasteland.

  24. 24.

    Corner Stone

    This center fielder for Baltimore is just having the night of his defensive life.
    Fucker.

  26. 26.

    Narcissus

    Well are you gonna just stand there takin’ pictures or what

    He ain’t gonna teabag himself

  29. 29.

    PsiFighter37

    Not very nice of you to roofie your visitors, Cole. At the least, you could put a tuna steak on him and see which of your pets will eat it off of him.

    @Narcissus: Ha!

    PF37 +2

  33. 33.

    Corner Stone

    Personally, if I was that little mofo on the couch I would brain Cole when I woke up and found out what he had done to me.
    Of course, Cole has like 100 pounds on the guy but at this point it’s about respect.

  36. 36.

    NotMax

    Damn.

    Now I’m jonesing for a steak.

    \A trio of tidbits:

    The U.S. didn’t join the U.K., France and other major Western allies at the United Nations today to sign the first international treaty regulating the $85 billion-a-year global arms trade.

    The absence of the world’s top arms dealer at a morning ceremony in New York drawing about 60 nations casts a shadow over a decades-long push to stop illegal cross-border shipments of conventional weapons. Some of the world’s most violent nations, from drug-plagued Mexico to the war-torn Democratic Republic of Congo, are among the signatories.
    [snip]
    For now, the U.S. is happy to lend its symbolic seal of approval while reiterating that much of the regulation outlined in the treaty has already been put in practice by the U.S. in its overseas sales of small arms, missile launchers, tanks, warships and attack helicopters.
    [snip]
    The treaty was approved two months ago by more than two-thirds of the 193-member UN General Assembly even as Iran, Syria and North Korea voted against the accord, and 23 countries, including Russia, a major arms dealer, abstained.
    [snip]
    In the U.S. Senate, a two-thirds majority would be needed for Senate ratification. On March 23, senators voted 53-46 for a symbolic measure opposing U.S. participation in the treaty. Eight Democrats and all 45 Senate Republicans opposed it.  Source

    Also, eye of the beholder and all that:

    Help wanted: No ugly applicants, please

    And, if you’re scamming disabilities, stay off national TV.

    A postal carrier claiming disability was busted after investigators caught her doing some heavy wheel spinning on “The Price is Right.”
    [snip]
    But investigators didn’t have to get down and dirty to nab this postal worker. Unable to hide from the bright lights of national television, Cashwell pleaded guilty to workers compensation fraud in federal court on Monday.  Source

  37. 37.

    RedKitten

    Do you normally put Tunch’s dish in the middle of the living room like that? Cause that is just kind of weird, frankly.

  38. 38.

    kindness

    Lily is going to eat that cat food if you leave it there. She looks asleep but the Lily knows.

  40. 40.

    dewzke

    This is a movie in the making. Awesome! Funny thing is that his friend doesn’t know it…yet.

  45. 45.

    mai naem

    The Tunchmeister looks positively svelte in this picture. Lighting? Angle of pic? Particular style of grooming?

  48. 48.

    dewzke

    @Comrade Jake:

    I wish it was the weekend because these comments might roll through the night. To hell with TV, I am laughing so much with this. BTW, Tunch will not move in a video, I’ll put money on it.

  50. 50.

    gelfling545

    @Corner Stone: In my house the answer to that question would be the dog. She likes to visit the laundry hampers in secret & display underwear in prominent places. You answer the front door for UPS or somebody. You look down & there’s somebody’s undergarment across the threshold or on the stair. She never leaves it anywhere inconspicuous. You mutter “That damn dog” and the UPS guy goes away thinking that your social life is unaccountably a lot more interesting than it really is.

  54. 54.

    Corner Stone

    @gelfling545: Dude. Fuck this. It’s time for West Wing on Netflix*.

    *Channeling my inner Cole without actually molesting a houseguest

  56. 56.

    MikeJ

    @Roger Moore:

    It would be a worse tragedy if the kind of Scotch whisky that gets shipped around in tanker trucks were worth drinking.

    I’m guessing this was “scotch”, not scotch.

  57. 57.

    Violet

    Lily sweetness! What a love. Maybe she’s mixing up you and Aaron. You guys look something alike, it seems.

    What is that, a garden gnome peeking over the arm of the sofa just above Aaron’s head?

  60. 60.

    TheOtherWA

    I’m sure Lily is a good judge of character, as most dogs are, and will happily lay in any friendly lap.

    A garden gnome in the living room? Dude. No.

  66. 66.

    Violet

    Gonna Be a Long Night for the Company

    With that headline and the accompanying picture, it sounded Cole was going to be taking photos of his friend in all sorts of ridiculous situations. You know, stupid frat pranks, like underwear on the head, draped over the school mascot. That kind of thing. I guess Lily and the garden gnome are as far as it’s going to go. At least that we’ll see.

  68. 68.

    dance around in your bones

    Your friend signed a release form before he came to visit you, right? “I, Aaron, realize that if I pass out from Cole’s heavy hand with the booze and food that I might end up with my photo plastered all over the Internet, and I’m cool with that”.

    Also, I swear I used to have a couch EXACTLY like that back in the 80’s. Not so attractive, but comfy as hell.

  69. 69.

    Suffern ACE

    @MikeJ: yeah. It’s jersey where they just busted a bunch of bars for serving rubbing alcohol and food coloring as scotch. For all we know, this scotch was low octane gasoline. It’s not like people from jersey know what scotch looks like.

  70. 70.

    Spaghetti Lee

    @Violet:

    I suppose, as John eases gently and peacefully into his dotage, he simply won’t have the energy for such nonsense anymore.

    (/trolling the bloghost.)

  72. 72.

    PurpleGirl

    @Gin & Tonic: There is still alt text (titles) for the pictures but it’s in a location code at the bottom left of the screen. Yeah, not as much fun as when it showed up by the picture.

  73. 73.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    The blog absence lasted longer than I expected. Have a nice visit.

  74. 74.

    MikeJ

    I must now go participate in a freedom Washington and Colorado share. I got Hardcore UFOs, the rarities box set by GbV, from the library today.

  76. 76.

    Suffern ACE

    @NotMax: back when I worked in employee benefits for (name removed), we had an employee who filed a claim for blindness who we investigated after it was brought to our attention that he had been ticked for speeding. He claimed he was suicidal and was driving to end it all.

  77. 77.

    danielx

    @burnspbesq:

    And being moved by a company out of Newark called B Line Trucking. There’s so much comedic material here that one hardly knows where to start.

  79. 79.

    Anya

    Apparently, some asshole from GetEqual heckled FLOTUS. Obviously, FLOTUS was not amused. WTF did this lady expect FLOTUS to do about this issue? Why isn’t she heckling GOPers who are against everything she cares about?

    I am seriously sick and tired of asshole activist who are constantly yelling at the president. Seriously fuck off or do some advocacy where it matters. Go pick on Boehner and McConnell, you fucking asshole. Did anyone ever yell at Laura Bush when her husband broke the world or when his campaign was using the LGBT community to attract the bigot vote. DIAF. Don’t fucking drag the first lady to this. She’s not an elected official.

  80. 80.

    dewzke

    Cole just might be pissed off at us and also piss drunk when he reads our comments. Cool. Aaron might not know what to think.

  84. 84.

    trollhattan

    @mai naem:

    The Tunchmeister looks positively svelte in this picture. Lighting? Angle of pic? Particular style of grooming?

    So-called “food dish” actually a snow saucer.

  87. 87.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Erick, Son of Erick, has a post up about how he thinks that Republicans may not need to worry about “hispanic” support because of Guv. Rick Scott Lex Luthor. Erick sez that while Guv. Luthor’s support among Hispanics is currently at 33%, he was elected with 50% of Hispanics in Florida while having campaigned against immigration reforms. This obviously means that all Hispanics are the same across the nation and the Republicans have nothing to worry about.

    Please proceed, Erick.

  89. 89.

    Suffern ACE

    @aangus: Oh phooey. Once it becomes officially sanctions, becomes international talk like a privateer day. Not nearly as fun.

  91. 91.

    YellowJournalism

    @MikeJ: Seriously loving you right now for that reference. (Not WooHoo love. More like give you a gift box from out of nowhere love.)

  93. 93.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @trollhattan:

    But Florida Hispanics are truly representative of Hispanics from all around the world. In Republicanland.

    @Keith:

    That would require Erick actually care about what they think and why. Lumping everyone into easy to refer to groups is the only way he can entertain any thoughts at all about them.

  95. 95.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Diana:

    You might be right, I suppose if Tunch was somehow able to muster up the effort and crawl up on John’s guest that his claws would sink to lethal depths for traction.

    OK, bottle rockets are faster. :)

  96. 96.

    trollhattan

    Oopsie.

    The FBI this afternoon raided the Capitol office of [Calif state] Sen. Ron Calderon, D-Montebello, as well as the office of the Legislature’s Latino Caucus, the Senate’s sergeant of arms said Tuesday evening.

    “This afternoon, agents from the Federal Bureau of Investigation served search warrants in the State Capitol at the office of Senator Ron Calderon and in the Legislative Office Building at the Latino Legislative Caucus office,” said Tony Beard, the Senate’s chief sergeant at arms, in a statement to the media.

    “Those warrants are sealed by order of the Federal Court; therefore we have no further information,” he said. “The Senate has and will continue to fully cooperate with the agents in this matter.

    http://blogs.sacbee.com/capitolalertlatest/2013/06/fbi-raids-ca-sen-ron-calderons-office.html#storylink=cpy

    Swear to bog the Dems are going to squander their statehouse supermajority.

  97. 97.

    Suffern ACE

    @trollhattan: Oh. the local dems are doing a good job out here in getting their offices raided as well. Heck, the Township of Ramapo, where Suffern ACE resides, was raided just two weeks ago. Now comes the fun part of waiting 180 days so that those warrant can be unsealed.

  100. 100.

    lojasmo

    @Yatsuno:

    It just takes one piercing of the femoral artery…

    Actually, a femoral artery bleed is pretty easy to control and let to heal. Takes about ten minutes.

  101. 101.

    Cassidy

    @lojasmo: Depends on where it’s cut. A low femoral injury can be controlled rather quickly with a tourniquet, although I’m not sure what you’re referring to re: “let it heal”. A puntured/ sliced/ severed femoral requires surgical intervention. The blood comes out to forcefully for it to clot effectively; pressure isn’t adequate. An injury to the femoral that’s higher up is much harder to deal with as you have to deal with retraction of the severed end into the pelvis. At that point you have to go in with a clamp, pull it down, and clamp it off.

    Your best bet is to tourniquet high on the thing, preferably with two tourniquets, and then put a hemostatic agent/ gauze of some kind into the wound cavity up against the severed end or puncture if possible.

  104. 104.

    Wvskir

    Is that Fiestaware you use to serve Tunch and your guests. It’s the finest in the world and almost good enough for sweet Lily.

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