An actual Google Voice transcript of a voicemail I received:
Hello, this is the General Electric Library Service. I have a delivery of the gastritis for error 2. Street and Rochester, New York scheduled for delivery on Monday between 9 and one of the driver will call about a half an hour before there. 5.
dexwood.
Not me. speak for yourself…
Just kidding. Damn. Need to run.
ruemara
No, not me. Never.
Mnemosyne
So the driver is coming to give you gastritis, or a driver with gastritis is coming to deliver something else?
PsiFighter37
Clearly all the NSA hacking is screwing up the way phone calls are getting directed.
HE’S WORSE THAN BUSH!!11111 HE SOLD US OUT!1111
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
I will never be that tall. And please, I beseech the universe, never that clueless.
NickT
Could “Megan McArdle” have been DougJ’s masterpiece of trollery? Is this the master’s indirect confession?
Maude
@PsiFighter37:
AND this PROVES it.
Yatsuno
What the hell are you insane people doing?
Scotius
Like Megan McArdle would ever be that clear and easy to understand.
Cheap Jim
No, voice recognition will improve. McArdle is trapped in the form of whatever she is now.
NickT
Speaking of an attempted gastritis delivery:
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2013/06/actress-arrested-accused-husband-ricin-documents.php?ref=fpb
It’s quite a story.
It all goes to show, you just can’t trust people with pink Dell laptops.
schrodinger's cat
DougJ@top
Especially for you. Stupid pop culture comparisons. A tortured comparison of Rajat Gupta and Rajrathnam to the characters in Great Gatsby.
Warning: Huffpost Link
PsiFighter37
@Maude: IMPEACH GEORGE W. OBAMA RIGHT NOW!!1111 MAINLY BECAUSE LYNDON LAROUCHE AND GLENN GREENWALD SAY SO!!11111
PF37 +4 and does not like the taste of NOTHINGBURGERS unless they are slathered with BBQ sauce
BGinCHI
Do you all think if Mark Zuckerberg was hanged in public this info sharing by corporations would stop?
I mean, worth a try right?
NickT
@PsiFighter37:
Our Nothingburgers are made from prime cuts of Ted and Hellen with a little ground pokeyblow for extra flavor. Customers who are habitual users of logic and evidence may experience a severe allergic reaction to the food and should not partake.
BGinCHI
@NickT: You’re gonna need a bigger bun.
NickT
@BGinCHI:
But it’s just a little pair of weiners….
Suffern ACE
GE gastritis is overpriced and way to complicated to have much utility beyond taking up space.
fuckwit
“Gastritis broke my calculator” needs to be a tag, and too bad if Cole doesn’t like it.
I love what Google voice does to my VM’s. It makes otherwise mundane messages into hilarous spews of surreall dada-ist randomness.
I’ve saved a bunch of them intending to put them up on a website somewhere.
Omnes Omnibus
Error 2 isn’t here, man.
Baud
I hope you bought the extended warranty.
Scotius
@BGinCHI:
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Omnes Omnibus
@BGinCHI: Throw in the Parker dude and it might work.
ETA: Not parkour, ’cause that’s cool.
BillinGlendaleCA
My Google Voice transcribed messages are hilarious. Especially those from my wife who has a slight accent. I read them to our guests: the kid, her bf and one of our friends, before Thanksgiving dinner. A find time had by all(even the wife thought it funny).
gbear
Oh oh.
Did DougJ or John see that Little Green Footballs has a post comparing Glenn Greenwald to Glenn Beck?? I think we need a post about this on BJ! Toot Sweet!
schrodinger's cat
@gbear: I predict more than 500 comments on such a post when it appears.
gbear
@schrodinger’s cat: 400 of which will be from 5 people.
Cacti
@gbear:
In honor of yesterday’s Huffpo photo, I give you…
Glenn Beckwald
Baud
@Cacti:
And now that will haunt my dreams…
Thanks, Cacti.
gbear
LOL. Gawd, that’s ugly.
Redshirt
@schrodinger’s cat: Only if Sully is also somehow involved.
TooManyJens
@NickT: It’s the “muslimbastard.docx” that makes it art.
Suffern ACE
@gbear: not really the same. GB is generalized crazy. GG is specific. GG is more like Peter Schiff on fiat currency collapse or Benjamin Netanyahu on the need to bomb Iran before it is too late.
schrodinger's cat
@TooManyJens: He is on some new “reform conservatism” schtick. His blog has become quite unreadable, off late.
gbear
@NickT:
Terrorism:Ur doing it wrong. Someday her boyfriend is going to look back on this and laugh. Maybe he already is…
NickT
@gbear:
He’s currently her husband, although I wouldn’t put too, too much cash on their marriage lasting very much longer.
Yatsuno
@gbear: Special Timmeh would be fapping all night.
scav
All the best pink Himalayan Salt is stored in suspicious tupperware.
Omnes Omnibus
@Yatsuno: Ew.
Citizen_X
Well, in the words of another robot, “That’ll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!”
greylocks
They don’t call it “wreck a nice speech” for nothing.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@gbear:
GG is seeing black helicopters with huge wireless antennas that are shaped like vacuum cleaner nozzles that are sucking up privacy and dumping it all into a huge black bag full o’stuff. I’m not buying the Powerpoint as something that is legit and others are beginning to question its authenticity. GG can’t back off of this because it would make him look like a fool, so it’s full throttle for him.
OK, it would make him look like a bigger fool.
joes527
@BillinGlendaleCA: You read your wife’s messages to her boyfriend?