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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Game of Thrones Open Thread

Game of Thrones Open Thread

by John Cole|  June 9, 20138:55 pm| 93 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Television, Assholes

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Super excited for tonight’s episode.

And for the record, if you are one of the whiny morons who emails me every week after a Game of Thrones (or other tv show) open thread bitching about spoilers, do me a quick favor. Draw a hot bath, drink a bottle of wine, and take something sharp to your wrists and cut from the wrist to the elbows. Don’t do it from side to side, that doesn’t work.

In other words, if you don’t want spoilers, don’t read the fucking comments.

And I got a middle finger ready for the first person who wants to tell me that suicide is not funny and I shouldn’t joke about it.

In a mood.

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Previous Post: « I Am So Fucking Over This Already
Next Post: Look to Windward »

Reader Interactions

93Comments

  1. 1.

    Redshirt

    June 9, 2013 at 8:56 pm

    Suicide’s hilarious!

  2. 2.

    Baud

    June 9, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    I didn’t think they could top the Red Wedding, but killing off Tyrion will be something else.

  3. 3.

    Corner Stone

    June 9, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    The beautiful thing about when you give someone the bird is that your mangled, sausage ass finger points in about 3 directions.
    You need to be a member of Seal Team 6 to know what direction to travel in when you start pointing the way.

  4. 4.

    Mike in NC

    June 9, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    Hodor!

    Fuck the Lannisters!

  5. 5.

    bg

    June 9, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    family is forcing me to watch Heat game so counting on y’all to let me know what is happening on GOT

  6. 6.

    Corner Stone

    June 9, 2013 at 9:06 pm

    @bg: Apparently the last epi of GOT gave some instruction on how to deal with that kind of “family”.

  7. 7.

    mikefromArlington

    June 9, 2013 at 9:06 pm

    And…here we go !!!

  8. 8.

    eemom

    June 9, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    In a mood.

    Day ending with y, again?

  9. 9.

    bg

    June 9, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    @bg: @Corner Stone:
    Halftime! And there is the Halfman!

  10. 10.

    Some guy in Austin

    June 9, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    I don’t have HBO, but I’m thinking I should get it. people seem to really like this show. I do love the Mad Men and an excuse to drink Scotch on a Sunday night.

  11. 11.

    Redshirt

    June 9, 2013 at 9:09 pm

    Spoiler: Everyone dies

  12. 12.

    Corner Stone

    June 9, 2013 at 9:10 pm

    At this point I’m just waiting for someone to mention a nun.

  13. 13.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    June 9, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    Woo-hoo — Cole’s in tip-top form! *This* masterful level of abuse is why I keep coming back.

    Seriously, I think I need help.

  14. 14.

    Baud

    June 9, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    @Mike in NC:

    Twist: Hodor is an NSA spy who’s been collecting the Lannisters’ metadata.

  15. 15.

    matt Q

    June 9, 2013 at 9:16 pm

    Dude! I can’t believe you’re making jokes about wasting wine like that!

  16. 16.

    JPL

    June 9, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    Does this mean that the Tony’s won’t be deserving an open thread?
    BTW.. Ariel Castro faces 329 counts of kidnapping, rape, etc… Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

  17. 17.

    mainmati

    June 9, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    Consistently good development though there is so much territory to cover. Based on the book this should be pretty climactic. Yikes..

  18. 18.

    Poicephalus

    June 9, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    Obligatory

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIIqYqtR1lY

  19. 19.

    mainmati

    June 9, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    Having said what I said, as an environmental economist, the entire GOT system has no economic basis, whether feudal or at best proto-free enterprise. As described it is not at all credible, i.e. fantasy. Of course I’m still watching it for all that.

  20. 20.

    Tokyokie

    June 9, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    @Poicephalus: I thought everybody on the show got killed last week.

  21. 21.

    RandomMonster

    June 9, 2013 at 9:34 pm

    In a mood.

    That’s what a GoT wedding will do to you.

  22. 22.

    raven

    June 9, 2013 at 9:35 pm

    Just watched this”

    BLANK CITY tells the long-overdue tale of a disparate crew of renegade filmmakers who emerged from an economically bankrupt and dangerous moment in New York history. From the late 1970’s through the mid 80’s, when the city was still a wasteland of cheap rent and cheap drugs, these directors crafted daring works that would go on to profoundly influence the development of independent film as we know it today.

    Fuck this stupid GOT shit.

  23. 23.

    raven

    June 9, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    This guy was in the movie:

    Nick Zedd
    Lord of the Cockrings

    A bizarre sexual spoof of Tolkien’s LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy where a nerdy New Jersey computer programmer named Scroto Baggins is chosen to save Middle Earth from its untimely doom.

  24. 24.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    June 9, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    I’ll take that middle finger Cole. Suicide jokes are nearly as funny as rape jokes. Would you shoot us all a middle finger after making a rape joke? Or in any other fashion dare us to point out that rape isn’t funny?

    Well fuck you, Cole. I’ll never bitch about spoilers because I would not read a thread rather than risk it, and I certainly wouldn’t whine if I got caught by a spoiler. But I will scream, loudly, about suicide jokes. Any and every time I see one made.

    It’s not fucking funny. Any more than cancer is funny, or rape is funny. Don’t care if you are in a mood. “Mood disorder” is a psychiatric term of art, BTW. A class of diseases that are often fatal. Hahahahaha. You’ll find it a great joke when you find a body, or console someone who has.

    I thought better of you.

  25. 25.

    Amir Khalid

    June 9, 2013 at 9:45 pm

    “Suicide is not funny, and you shouldn’t joke about it.” (He said piously.)

    Make it the left middle finger, please, and post a photo so that I may enjoy the sight.

  26. 26.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    June 9, 2013 at 9:49 pm

    @Amir Khalid: I do sound rather shrill by comparison. I’d like a photo as well.

  27. 27.

    tybee

    June 9, 2013 at 9:50 pm

    suicide is painless…

  28. 28.

    Amir Khalid

    June 9, 2013 at 9:56 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
    Shrill? Maybe you have reason. I for one agree with what you said.

  29. 29.

    JPL

    June 9, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    For those of us watching the Tony’s either Bloomberg is really short or Sigourney Weaver is really tall. Maybe it’s a little bit of both.

  30. 30.

    Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)

    June 9, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    And I got a middle finger ready for the first person who wants to tell me that suicide is not funny and I shouldn’t joke about it.

    Are you going to e-mail that middle finger to me, Cole? Because fuck you.

  31. 31.

    mikefromArlington

    June 9, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    That’s it?

  32. 32.

    mikefromArlington

    June 9, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    That’s it?

  33. 33.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 9, 2013 at 10:09 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): As someone who has been off-and-on suicidal for a couple of decades, I find that if I couldn’t make and appreciate suicide jokes I’d be in worse shape than I am.

    I suspect that this is something that those who are or have been suicidal are more likely to find humor in it than those who have had loved ones who are suicidal.

  34. 34.

    Mnemosyne

    June 9, 2013 at 10:09 pm

    @JPL:

    Sigourney Weaver is 6 feet tall, and she’s not shy about wearing heels.

  35. 35.

    Citizen_X

    June 9, 2013 at 10:13 pm

    @Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS): Ramsey would send a finger.

  36. 36.

    Redshirt

    June 9, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    “The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.”

    Fred Nietzsche

    I’ve always taken this quote to mean that no matter how bad anything gets, you can always kill yourself and end all pain and suffering. Am I reading it wrong?

  37. 37.

    bg

    June 9, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    @Citizen_X:
    Ramsey would send a sausage

  38. 38.

    rea

    June 9, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    Somehow it reminded me of the red weddiing episode of “Dynasty”

  39. 39.

    Suzanne

    June 9, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): I was actually about to ironically suggest someone make a rape joke. SHIT. Y’all are FAST.

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):

    I suspect that this is something that those who are or have been suicidal are more likely to find humor in it than those who have had loved ones who are suicidal.

    Ever since I had my mother involuntarily committed in April for being suicidal, I have to admit that suicide jokes are a new sore spot, yes.

    I need to get the DVDs of the first season of this show so I can find out what y’all are talking about.

  40. 40.

    dance around in your bones

    June 9, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    But suicide is painless!

    Dang, tybee got there first.

  41. 41.

    eemom

    June 9, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    um, maybe he really means that making an obviously ridiculous “suggestion” that someone commit suicide by means of a movie cliche because they’re upset over a TV show spoiler isn’t actually making fun of suicide itself?

  42. 42.

    Nerdlinger

    June 9, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    @bg: Ramsay will peel it for you if you ask nicely.

  43. 43.

    JPL

    June 9, 2013 at 10:18 pm

    John’s comment had to do with those who complain about spoilers on a thread that is going to be filled with spoilers so get over it folks.

    @Redshirt: I read it as a thought not an action but that’s me.

  44. 44.

    JPL

    June 9, 2013 at 10:18 pm

    whoops double post

  45. 45.

    DLew On Roids

    June 9, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):

    “I thought better of you.”

    WTF did you do that for?

  46. 46.

    MattR

    June 9, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):

    I suspect that this is something that those who are or have been suicidal are more likely to find humor in it than those who have had loved ones who are suicidal.

    I think it has more to do with whether the individual uses humor as a defense mechanism. I know I do and have made dark jokes to help cope with my own suicidial feelings as well as the suicide of one of my closest friends.

  47. 47.

    Redshirt

    June 9, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    @JPL: That’s what I mean – mentally you can visualize your own extinction, by your own hand. It’s a break to petty thought.

  48. 48.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    June 9, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Doesn’t work that way for me. It’s just not funny, and it’s actually a public health issue.
    ( See, e.g, herefor a recent illustration. @ Amir Khalid – I sort of suspected that you agreed with me, and observed that I did sound quite shrill.

  49. 49.

    Groucho48

    June 9, 2013 at 10:27 pm

    @raven:

    Oh, yeah. That sounds much better than GOT shit. If you are a 16 year old basement dweller who thinks he’s hip.

  50. 50.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    June 9, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    @eemom: That’s a nice thought, but I just think his “mood” is his justification for being insensitive. I admire your generosity, but do not share it.

    @DLew On Roids: Because it’s true. This is not funny shit, and it’s careless to write something like that. You’re obviously free to disagree.

  51. 51.

    hells littlest angel

    June 9, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    How does everyone feel about making jokes about being a miserable fucker?

  52. 52.

    BethanyAnne

    June 9, 2013 at 10:34 pm

    G.R.R.Martin can kill whoever he wants, but I’m really tired of the Theon torture porn.

    Here are GIFs of “Season 3 DVD Commentary”
    http://disquieted.tumblr.com/post/52416976885/in-this-mysteriously-leaked-dvd-commentary-for

  53. 53.

    Keith

    June 9, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    Hey, as long as you don’t put the spoilers on the front page, like whichever FP’er it was who put spoilers to the new Star Trek on there, I’m OK with it. I expect to see spoilers in the comments.
    But jeez, you and your moods. Learn to show some restraint before hitting the Enter key, especially if you’ve been drinking. That’s a lesson you should have picked up after about your first year of using email.

  54. 54.

    JPL

    June 9, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    Unfortunately John made a flippant remark that derailed the thread. He’s correct that threads whether they be about sports or tv shows, people are shocked that there are spoilers. His remark might have been insensitive but it shouldn’t change his message. SPOILER.. Cicely Tyson just won her first Tony which is shocking to me because she is so talented.

    @Redshirt: True.

  55. 55.

    Di

    June 9, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    After my husband died of cancer at age 57, I thought for awhile I could never again laugh at cancer jokes. Fortunately, it only took a few weeks before one of the rather idiotic late night guys made me laugh at, yes, a cancer joke.

    I also have friends/family who’ve committed suicide. Sad bu a funny joke about it is still funny.

    But, Jeez, Game of Thrones is a friggin’ TV show. Take responsibility and don’t read/watch spoilers. How hard is that? This is so one of my personal pet peeves…

  56. 56.

    drew42

    June 9, 2013 at 10:39 pm

    Unlike apparently everyone else here, I’m actually going to discuss Game of Thrones.

    So, the ending of this episode means that the Khaleesi is going to get a huge Messiah complex, and turn into a power-mad dragon witch queen evil demi-god, right? Because otherwise, I don’t get it. Her storyline is boring, she’s boring. She sucks in every way, and whenever the show focuses on her it grinds to a halt. I was really hoping the Khaleesi would be the next one to get knifed, maybe by that Hamlet dude.

  57. 57.

    YellowJournalism

    June 9, 2013 at 10:39 pm

    I finally tried to watch a bit of this show be amuse of all the hype over the Red Wedding. I watched the last half hour with the wedding. That was pretty intense, even for someone not connected to the characters. Dammit! I don’t need another show, you guys.

  58. 58.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 9, 2013 at 10:40 pm

    I think that there is a great divide between those who have contemplated suicide with intent to follow through and those who have not. I, certainly, have never been able to explain it to anyone. Those who have never been there just can’t conceive of the mindset.

    The closest I’ve ever been able to come is through explaining why, when I’m in that state, I resent people telling me not to do it. It’s compounded if their argument boils down to telling me how much it would hurt those who love me. The Nietzsche quote above gets at it. When I’m there, it means that I’m in so much pain that I’m willing to forego any potential future happiness to make the pain end. This isn’t a spur of the moment decision; I’ve been dealing with depression for three decades with people telling me that it will all get better and, for the most part, it never does. Neutral contentment is really all I can manage for extended periods of time. It was different, at least somewhat, when I was married but that only made it worse when my wife walked out.

    When you tell me things will get better, it comes off as lying to me. When you tell me how much my suicide would hurt other people, what you are saying is that I should continue to bear all of the pain in order to spare other people without offering me any hope that this condition will ever end. You are telling me that the only way I can really take control of my depression and bring it to an end is forbidden; I just have to sit here and take it for the rest of my life. It makes me want to scream at people that, if they don’t have a solution, then they should just shut up about what I may and may not do.

    And as you can probably tell from that rant, humor is probably a better way for me to deal with the concept of suicide.

  59. 59.

    BethanyAnne

    June 9, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    I expected tonight’s episode to be Joffrey’s wedding, but after watching, it’s clear why it wasn’t. I wonder if that will be the finale of next season?

  60. 60.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)

    June 9, 2013 at 10:43 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Sure it’s a public health issue. And there is a dangerous line between laughing about suicide and laughing at particular suicidal people. The latter is, of course, reprehensible.

  61. 61.

    Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)

    June 9, 2013 at 10:51 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): We’ll have to disagree here. But that’s what we do in the BJ comments. I don’t think joking about suicide is that funny, and I have the scars (and hospital admits) too.

  62. 62.

    BethanyAnne

    June 9, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    Re: suicide and depression, here’s a re-link of Allie Brosh’s “Depression, Part Two”. Closest I’ve ever seen to anyone being able to communicate what it’s like. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

    I showed the thread to my mom, and we skipped right ahead to the “If I call a doctor, will you stop making that noise?” pane.

  63. 63.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    June 9, 2013 at 10:54 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):

    I just have to sit here and take it for the rest of my life. It makes me want to scream at people that, if they don’t have a solution, then they should just shut up about what I may and may not do.

    I hear you, and I get it.

    And there is a dangerous line between laughing about suicide and laughing at particular suicidal people. The latter is, of course, reprehensible.

    My view is that the flippancy of Cole’s remark puts it on the wrong side of that line. Slightly similar to the concept that you may use humor when you are part of the group being mocked.

  64. 64.

    Keith

    June 9, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    @drew42: I liked the storyline at first, but I lost it as soon as Fabio of the Second Sons showed up, and they started making goo-goo eyes at each other. I’m hoping he loses a nose or gets scalped next season, lest GoT turns into True Blood, where he starts showing abs every episodes to pull in the ladies.

  65. 65.

    gmann

    June 9, 2013 at 11:11 pm

    Suicide may be painless, but watching the Bruins kick the crap out of your fav team must not be…

  66. 66.

    22over7

    June 9, 2013 at 11:14 pm

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):

    Oh this. All night long. Seriously guys, deal.

    As for the season finale, I wasn’t expecting a Tyrion/Sansa cute talk, an Arya cute talk before she fucking stabbed a Frey (and the cute talk afterward between her and Sandor), and a cute talk between Tyrion and Cersei. So lots of cute, some gallows humor, and what the hell is Shae thinking?

    And now our watch begins, until next year.

  67. 67.

    HinTN

    June 9, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    Making @BethanyAnne: Making it as slow as the books themselves increasingly became! Thankyouverymuch

  68. 68.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    June 9, 2013 at 11:18 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Seconded. :)

    Just for the amusement, I happen to know that John isn’t serious.

    For some reason I’m capable of understanding that. Blame my Mother.

  69. 69.

    Phoenician in a time of Romans

    June 9, 2013 at 11:30 pm

    @bg:

    Manderley might even bake a pie.

  70. 70.

    Groucho48

    June 10, 2013 at 12:17 am

    As to spoilers. There are spoilers about the TV episodes and I think folks should expect those in a thread that is about the TV show. But, there are also spoilers about what happens in the books past where the TV series is. I know a fair number of folks haven’t read the books but do like discussing the TV series and I can understand them getting a bit upset when folks talk about things that happen in Books 4 and 5.

    Shouldn’t be hard for folks who want to mention something that happens in later books to label their posts as spoilers, to give those folks a bit of warning. After last week’s show, in another forum, we were having a lively discussion of the shows when someone just posted a synopsis of all that happened in books 3.5 through 5, for no reason whatsoever except to spoil it for folks, and I suppose, to show off.

  71. 71.

    Comrade Mary

    June 10, 2013 at 12:20 am

    @drew42: Let’s just say that things get complicated for Dany.

    But — ugh! — I really did not love that final scene of White Mother Goddess crowdsurfing an adoring mass of brown people.

  72. 72.

    Comrade Mary

    June 10, 2013 at 12:23 am

    @22over7: There’s a fuck of a lot of foreshadowing in this episode. I really was a bit worried that they’d try to cram in something major, but when people watch next season, they should also re-watch this episode and see the connections.

    Le Guy dutifully watched the first two seasons but didn’t like them much. However, he watched them again recently and now thinks the show is a lot better than he first thought, and he’s looking forward to catching up with this season.

  73. 73.

    BethanyAnne

    June 10, 2013 at 12:49 am

    @HinTN: Yeah, GRRM could use an editor. Hey! Maybe he could borrow one from Robert Jordan!

  74. 74.

    cyntax

    June 10, 2013 at 1:09 am

    So it’s looking like Arya’s off to Braavos next season. Or begins to start thinking about going, so maybe by the end of next season. In a way I’m looking forward to that, but I’m sure she’ll get sucked into some nihilistic vortex of revenge killing so that will kind of blow.

    And yes an end to the Theon torture pr0n would be appreciated.

    @drew42:
    The thing about Daenerys Targaryen’s storyline is that I just don’t trust it to keep going without some sort of disruption. And to your point it has gotten pretty static; she keeps overcoming obstacles without any of the compromises or difficulties that others have had to endure (at least lately). So if she ends up on some sort of Maud’Dib messianic kick, well that could be interesting.

  75. 75.

    BethanyAnne

    June 10, 2013 at 1:21 am

    @BethanyAnne: I think it was Book 4 where there were a metric ton of new locations and characters. I hope that the TV series cuts way the fuck down on those.

  76. 76.

    Juju

    June 10, 2013 at 1:26 am

    @drew42: Don’t hold anything back. Let us know how you feel.

    I should note I agree, but the dragons are kind of neat. I could use one from time to time.

  77. 77.

    mclaren

    June 10, 2013 at 1:37 am

    If only we could get a Red Wedding going with the Republicans in congress…

    Oh, wait. That’s “material aid and support for terrorism,” so now I have to be thrown into a black prison for “enhanced interrogation” under the NDAA.

  78. 78.

    mclaren

    June 10, 2013 at 1:39 am

    @BethanyAnne:

    G.R.R.Martin can kill whoever he wants, but I’m really tired of the Theon torture porn.

    America is all torture porn all the time now. In the degenerating days of collapsing empires, only the gladiatorial games and torture porn can keep the populace distracted from the general disintegration of the state.

  79. 79.

    Joseph Nobles

    June 10, 2013 at 2:03 am

    @BethanyAnne: GRRM’s episode next season is the fourth. Since we didn’t see it tonight, that’s where my money is.

  80. 80.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    June 10, 2013 at 2:27 am

    @Joseph Nobles: Seeing that sociopath slump over in his chair will not be an unpopular scene.

  81. 81.

    Joseph Nobles

    June 10, 2013 at 2:43 am

    @The prophet Nostradumbass: And yet even then, a favorite character will be in peril. Shorter GRRM: we can’t have nice things.

  82. 82.

    Sly

    June 10, 2013 at 4:16 am

    Daenerys is following the “Great White Liberator” trope, which is a staple of fantasy fiction. And it should be obvious to everyone by now that much of ASOIAF is built upon holding those tropes down and beating them about the head with a shovel.

    This isn’t much of a spoiler, but there are three cities in the Slaver’s Bay and we’ve only seen two. Daenerys’s conquest/liberator arc isn’t quite “done” yet.

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    Seeing that sociopath slump over in his chair will not be an unpopular scene.

    But only someone with a heart of stone or a severe groin injury would find it to be the only popular scene of the next season. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

  83. 83.

    Sly

    June 10, 2013 at 4:17 am

    Daenerys is following the “Great White Liberator” trope, which is a staple of fantasy fiction. And it should be obvious to everyone by now that much of ASOIAF is built upon holding those tropes down and beating them about the head with a shovel.

    This isn’t much of a spoiler, but there are three cities in the Slaver’s Bay and we’ve only seen two. Daenerys’s conquest/liberator arc isn’t quite “done” yet.

    @The prophet Nostradumbass:

    Seeing that sociopath slump over in his chair will not be an unpopular scene.

    But only someone with a heart of stone or a severe groin injury would find it to be the only popular scene of the next season. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

  84. 84.

    sherparick

    June 10, 2013 at 7:07 am

    @mainmati: Actually, the economics is pretty spot on for a feudal economy (most people involved in agricultural production, with the small surplus supporting an aristocratic class with most international trade being in “luxury goods,” domestic animals, and food that can preserved (for instance dry, salted fish and wine). Note how Martin’s lords confirm Adam Smith’s observation in a “A Theory on Moral Sentiments” that they are guided by their self-interest (as if by “an invisible hand” – one of the only two occasions he uses this “striking metaphor”) to leave their peasants a decent subsistence so that there will be sufficient workers to tend their fields and herds. Also, when one lord wanted to “hurt” another lord in war, he would kill as many peasants as he could, and lay waste to their fields so as to encourage him (or her) to say “Uncle” and bend the knee.

    What l can’t quite get over is the “seasons spanning years” concept. That is part of the “supernatural” fantasy element of the story as it makes no sense from a climatological/astronomical point of view (e.g. Mars, which would has a “year,” an orbit around the Sun approximately equal to two Earth years, with corresponding longer summers and winters, but still the seasons would count all fall into a “year.”) It also makes very hard for me to figure how how much time is passing in the books and series (are the events we see in season happening over “a year” each, several years in each book? Who knows (including Martin at this point) .

  85. 85.

    Alan

    June 10, 2013 at 7:55 am

    @BethanyAnne: That’s pretty funny. I do like how that series wrapped up though.

  86. 86.

    Roger

    June 10, 2013 at 9:27 am

    @sherparick:

    Several good book chronologies have been written based on data such as character’s name days (which are mentioned as passing surprisingly often), synchronicities (e.g. everyone seeing the comet at the same time, news of event x reaching character y), travel times etc.

    The most detailed is at https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Aj_uNZmcJaTddG9BVU5tRnJJTE5KcE5JRkFha1ZfNUE#gid=8 and suggests that in book time the point the TV series is now at is almost exactly two years into the story (Dany’s marriage to Drogo being the earliest dateable event at the end of year 297, news of the Red Wedding reaching Kings Landing at the end of 299).

    But Martin’s major problem which has ballsed up the whole series and means that the books will almost certainly be overtaken by the TV series in less than 2 seasons (and in IMO means that the books will probably never actually get finished – at least not by Martin himself) is that he made too many core characters literal children – in the books Robb and Jon start out 14, Dany 13, Sansa and Joffrey 12, Arya 9, Bran 7 and Rickon at just 3 and then hit the basic issue that Arya and Bran in particular are being set up to do big stuff which is just not plausible for kids who are not even teenagers yet – and books 4 and 5 represent his failure to resolve this problem to the satisfaction of anyone other than the most servile of his fans.

    Thanks more than anything to the legal and moral issues of having even adult actors presenting 13 year old girls being raped by and falling in love with barbarian warlords twice their age and body weight the TV series resolved this by up-ageing almost everyone by at least several years and in several cases way more (Ned and Cat were played by actors at least 15 and 10 years older than their book characters frex) and are clearly taking a more expansive view of the timeline driven by the teenage actors visibly ageing faster than they can possibly progress the story.

    So the chronological problem that’s pretty much sunk the book series really doesn’t exist at all for the TV show where everyone can (as Joss Whedon replied when asked if his spacecraft in Firefly were faster than light) travel purely at the speed of plot.

    And the concept of variable length ‘great years’ (and as the recorded history of Westeros is at least 8,000 years long the Maesters would have found any actual patterns) of course makes no sense at all and Martin himself has said is magical rather than having any SF-style explanation.

  87. 87.

    Joseph Nobles

    June 10, 2013 at 9:56 am

    @Roger: Not quite that bad. Season 4 will just be getting to the end of Book 3, pulling some of the other 2 in. They could get two solid seasons out of Books 4 and 5, and I’d say more. So 3.5-4 more seasons, taking us up through Season 7.

    But GRRM has said it’s possible the series overtakes him. He’d get Book 6 out by the end of Season 7, surely. (Don’t call me Shirley.) So there’s another season and a half. It is getting dicey.

  88. 88.

    Sly

    June 10, 2013 at 10:15 am

    @Joseph Nobles:
    There’s no ironclad law that says horrible, horrible things will happen if the show overtakes the series, so I’m not sure why everyone, including Martin himself, is fretting about it. It’s not like he isn’t a key part of the production and can’t tell Benioff and Weiss how he intends to end it (and he’s repeatedly said that he knows how it all ends “in broad strokes”). The bigger problem is if he keels over before finishing the last book, and even then the show wouldn’t be jeopardized.

    In other words, Martin’s slow pace of writing books is a problem for people who read his books, and no one else.

  89. 89.

    JS

    June 10, 2013 at 10:42 am

    @Mike in NC:

    Most appropriate comment!

  90. 90.

    Ruckus

    June 10, 2013 at 11:52 am

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
    This is one of the best explanations I’ve ever heard. I don’t know if people who have not been through this could ever really understand.

    Suicide is not funny. Ever. Jokes about it can be. Jokes about anything can be funny as hell. But like all jokes timing and delivery is everything. And it depends on your attitude and your position about any particular pain at the moment. I’ve laughed at things that no one else gets. Is that me being weird or is it just how I see things? Is it important at all?
    Humor helps me with depression. If for nothing else it helps for the moment to feel a little less pain. And every little bit helps. For me I don’t know that anything other than little steps really does. It’s never a big huge jump from one state to another it’s little steps, up or down. If humor is a step up for you then you will understand that humor can be about anything and will be helpful. A joke can make you step back a bit and reflect for a moment. And that is a good thing. Or not. It is what it is for each of us.

  91. 91.

    w3ski

    June 10, 2013 at 4:00 pm

    Only if it works and quickly.

  92. 92.

    TheronWare

    June 10, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    John Snow tells Igrid he has to go home and he loves her and she proceeds to shoot his arse three times no less!! Can’t a Ranger of the Night’s Watch get a break?!!

  93. 93.

    LongHairedWeirdo

    June 10, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Middle fingers are not funny asshole! Don’t you fucking *dare* joke about middle fingers!

    (testing my deadpan delivery – did I have you going for at least a second?)

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