Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

No one could have predicted…

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

If you don’t believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love isn’t freedom, it is privilege.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

75% of people clapping liked the show!

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

American history and black history cannot be separated.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / A re-introduction and a peace offering

A re-introduction and a peace offering

by | 102 Comments

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While I’d like to think my internet persona is such that, once experienced, it can never be forgotten, I’m willing to entertain the idea that this is not in fact true.

So with that in mind, and recognizing it’s been probably just about a year since I last guested hereabouts — then, as now, at the invitation of the inestimable Doug J — allow me to reintroduce myself.

My name is Elias Isquith, and in my free time I write about the by turns mundane and fantastic world of American politics, usually with a focus on ideology and the Left. I’m one of the lefty contributors at The League of Ordinary Gentlemen (Perhaps you guys have heard of it? I wonder if you’d get along…) and I’ve also had freelance work in The Atlantic, Salon, Jacobin, and The New Inquiry. 

In addition to all of this, I have a cat. Calamity Jane. You can her see below, in a picture taken during her morning routine. (It’s a grueling routine.) Please consider this something of a peace offering from your new guest…as well as a window into her very soul:

IMG 0509

Now with all the formal pleasantries dispensed with, I can focus on giving you fine people real material to yell about. In that regard, I promise you nothing less than my full effort. And if all else fails, you can always just yell at me. Everybody wins!

Reader Interactions

102Comments

  1. 1.

    ellie

    One of my cats is always sticking his tongue out. I have yet to capture a photo of it.

  3. 3.

    Comrade Jake

    Welcome! I’ve checked out the League of Ordinary Gentlemen a few times. It seems like a decent blog, but I don’t think it’s all that compatible with the bunch here.

  4. 4.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    In that regard, I promise you nothing less than my full effort. And if all else fails, you can always just yell at me.

    How it really works.

  5. 5.

    Brother Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness (fka AWS)

    Perhaps you guys have heard of it? I wonder if you’d get along…

    No, we don’t.

    Also, your recent piece in Salon is contrary to all evidence of what the GOP’s doing, and based on the writings of a very few GOP pundits. Would you care to explain how the idea of bringing back compassionate conservatism under another name is supposed to work when they keep doing the stupid shit they are doing?

  13. 13.

    c u n d gulag

    Welcome back!

    Oh, and if you ever turn your back to us commenters here, be sure whatever shirt you wear has a Kevlar back.

  17. 17.

    Citizen_X

    DIE IN A FIRE, MOTHERFUCKER!

    Oh, and why is it we’re supposed to hate you, again?

  18. 18.

    schrodinger's cat

    For some reason the name of the blog, League of Ordinary Gentlemen has always bothered me. Too exclusive, women and peasants need not apply. Judging from the comments above is EI a compassionate conservative? That’s an oxymoron and anyone who believes in it, is just a moron.

    I like your cat. She does not seem like a lady and seems to have the right attitude towards you. Plus, she has a great name.

  20. 20.

    NickT

    The LOOG still exists? I thought it had fallen asleep in an overstuffed armchair between David Brooks and Megan McArdle years ago.

  29. 29.

    piratedan

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: well in fairness, this can be a very tough audience. It’s great though, when I’ve been wrong (hooboy) it’s been extremely educational (tough love and all of that) and despite the OBOT claims, a lot of facets to supposedly black and white issues are exposed.

  30. 30.

    ruemara

    Fuck you sideways. And now that the standard BJ greeting has been offered, welcome. Using that a pet as a kitty shield is a nice touch. I’m sure we are all waiting for your first real effort.

  32. 32.

    NickT

    @ruemara:

    Doesn’t the standard greeting include a rusty agricultural implement – or was that dropped in an attempt to be bipartisan and encourage civility?

  33. 33.

    bill d

    Please save me some time, as I am a busy man, am I supposed to like you or hate you?

    Thank you for your time and I look forward to, or cringe at the very thought of, our futrure interactions.

  35. 35.

    Belafon (formerly anonevent)

    @beltane: I always thought we were more the type of people that would never hate a FPer unless we met them in person, but would trash anything they said.

  37. 37.

    Mike E

    Reminds me of when Pete Rose tried to make peace with the bleacher bums in Wrigley by tossing them a bucketful of souvenir baseballs before playing outfield. Heh.

  42. 42.

    Citizen_X

    @NickT: Yes, I believe the standard Juicer greeting is now just a simple punch in the neck. For civility’s sake.

  43. 43.

    Comrade Mary

    (Oh man, that link also includes a pic of the tower John’s brother and father built for Speak and Whisper. Such well-loved cats.)

  44. 44.

    Tone in DC

    Take a guess here. Calamity Jane looks like a tuxedo cat. From what I can gather, these cats are very expressive and loyal. Whereas Tunch is just plain obstreperous.

  45. 45.

    Punchy

    Last day for the VRA! Come Friday, you’ll need a Porsche and homes in the Hamptons to vote in Georgia.

  46. 46.

    danimal

    Welcome. You’re a foolish idiot with crazy, impractical ideas (whatever they are), but a smart one who knows that starting a FP gig with a pet pic is very important around here.

    Looking forward to the customary hazing ritual for newcomers.

  47. 47.

    Ash Can

    The look on Calamity Jane’s face is priceless. I like her attitude. It looks as though, if you could translate into English what was going through her mind at the time, the words would sear a hole in the computer screen.

  49. 49.

    Dee Loralei

    Welcome back, love the cat and her name. My aunt has a rescue dog who has earned her name, Calamity Jane.

  51. 51.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    Welcome back, Elias. Nice cat. Now try a Google search for the words “kitten skull fuck” and see what the first two returns are.

    Good luck.

  55. 55.

    Higgs Boson's Mate

    @Comrade Mary:

    Hmm, okay. I always thought that quotes were required in a sentence if you are referring to a specific word or words. Is this an internet convention or has my ignorance of grammar been revealed, again?

  56. 56.

    Forum Transmitted Disease

    Somebody light the matoko_chan help signal.

    She chased the last loogie off this site like a mob going after Special Tim after catching him in the shower with a ten-year old boy.

  58. 58.

    Comrade Mary

    @Higgs Boson’s Mate: Your choice of quotes was perfectly valid as part of written English. [Puts on librarian hat] But English punctuation and search logic don’t always play nicely together. I’ve found that some people consider quotes to be literally part of the search string if displayed, while others ignore it.

    I just use italics or bold instead of quotes when I refer to a free text search in order to avoid causing confusion.

    EDIT: Yep. Using a slightly different string, as Brother Machine Gun demonstrated, would give great results with or without quotes. Quotes are powerful! All hail quotes!

  60. 60.

    Xenos

    @Mike E:

    Reminds me of when Pete Rose tried to make peace with the bleacher bums in Wrigley by tossing them a bucketful of souvenir baseballs before playing outfield. Heh.

    Is there a video of that somewhere?

  61. 61.

    MomSense

    I like the cat! Welcome back although it just feels like plain, old welcome to me since I don’t remember you or wasn’t here often when you were posting.

    Speaking of infrequent posters, where did that Bernard fella go? Not saying I miss him but curious about his absence. Did Tunch eat him?

  67. 67.

    comrade scott's agenda of rage

    @ira-NY:

    Did you name your cat after Hamsher?

    Where’s a “like” button when you need one?

  68. 68.

    srv

    Libertarians are so boring, but oh, here’s something for Truthers can Unite on!

    here is a renewed effort to reopen the investigation that downed TWA Flight 800 off the coast of New York in 1996.

    Former investigators on Wednesday called on the National Transportation Safety Board to re-examine the cause, saying new evidence points to the often-discounted theory that a missile strike may have downed the jumbo jet.

    The Obama-Clinton Ninja Vince Foster axis to finally be toppled with the truth.

    Elias, you troll this, and I’ll redirect the truthers here.

  74. 74.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @srv:

    Oh my gawd, not this bullshit again. I remember trying to explain to fucktards on USENET that they were seriously deluded with their missile strike theory…supposedly entire ships’ crews were sworn to secrecy…like that every happens in any military organization. The fear of the leadership trying to cover things up is that some fucking private will blurt out the truth to an inspector…and usually does.

  79. 79.

    Mike E

    @Xenos: No video, had to be in the 60’s before he played infield. He thot he could placate them, but only gave them things to throw at him. I guess he files this one with his Cooperstown induction speech.

  84. 84.

    Violet

    Welcome back. Your kitty is cute. Love that photo and that pink tongue.

    Can’t wait to see how another LOOGer does here. The first one self-titled himself our Ombudsman and it didn’t go so well from there.

  85. 85.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Violet:

    Particularly when he posted something that was ripped to shreds by the commentariat and he eventually admitted that the ripping to shreds was fully justified.

  88. 88.

    Yatsuno

    @Violet: ED threw up nonsense at regular intervals and got called to task for it numerous times. Of course we’re a bunch of vicious jackals so really he had zero chance. And then there was matoko-chan. She LURVED her some ED!

  89. 89.

    Lurking Canadian

    @Violet: If I remember correctly, that was “Everybody knows liberals are always in favour of more regulations, but let me use my contrarian libertarian powers to instruct you about some BAD regulations!”

    It did not go well.

  91. 91.

    West of the Rockies

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Maybe Freddie was a great guy, but I did find his writing very irksome. It was loaded with qualifiers, and if it was possible to say a thing in ten words, he’d do it in 40 (doing his best to send us to arcane resources for definitions all the while).

  93. 93.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Lurking Canadian:

    Like that idiot Yglesias who rails about licensing of beauticians, because he doesn’t quite grasp that they use potentially harmful chemicals that, if not applied in a specific manner that requires training, could injure people in horrible ways.

    A lot of supposedly “pointless” regulations actually have a fucking point if you’re not an ignorant ideologically driven asswipe who is too fucking lazy to do your fucking homework and find out why, precisely, these regulations were put into place.

  94. 94.

    A Humble Lurker

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    Dr. Who. Got into it fairly recently and I’ve been watching old episodes so I’m caught up by the 12th Doctor. I know it doesn’t matter as much with this show as it might with another but eh. I’m like that.

    Anyway, the Doctor is conversing with a Weeping Angel who’s using a dead man’s voice over an intercom:

    The Doctor: It’s nice in here. Consoles, comfy chairs, a forest. How’s things with you?
    Evil Dude: The Angels are feasting, sir. Soon we’ll be able to absorb enough power to consume this vessel. This world and all the stars, and worlds beyond.
    The Doctor: Well, we’ve got comfy chairs, did I mention?
    Evil Dude: We have no need of comfy chairs.
    The Doctor: (stage whisper) I made him say “comfy chairs.”

  99. 99.

    Alien Radio

    Also. I DEMAND the return of Matoko_Chan, because next thing you know EDK will be back.

  100. 100.

    Cassidy

    So, dead thread, but Elias, this place is full of assholes, miscreants, condescending assholes, firebagger emoprogs, a couple of real c**** and a our very own pedophile apologizing, rape enabling pile of shit. So, unless you’re the lowest scoring med student in a psych program with no other choices, you should probably pass this fun house by.

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