Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

We still have time to mess this up!

Fight for a just cause, love your fellow man, live a good life.

A consequence of cucumbers

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

This really is a full service blog.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

The US Supreme Court is on the ballot in november.

Please don’t feed the bears.

White supremacy is terrorism.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

The revolution will be supervised.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Elections aren’t won by handwringing, cowering, and/or bashing your own candidates.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

He really is that stupid.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

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Reader Interactions

98Comments

  3. 3.

    burnspbesq

    You’re not running around figuring out how to brief all the noobs that will be coming over from DeLong’s place on how to appropriately worship The God Tunch? There could be blood all over the place if one of them screws up.

  5. 5.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I am suffering through an Internet outage. Does anyone remember what we used to do before the Internet? Hell, I can’t even masturbate because my fantasies aren’t as cool as the shit on the Internet.

  6. 6.

    The Dangerman

    Not counting the last of the NHL, yes, the Dog Days of summer sports now; only 71 days until College Football kicks off. If you want to share with other pets, can we have a video of Tunch walking through the room? Think of it as Proof Of Life Lift.

  7. 7.

    burnspbesq

    Sorry to say that I found the new Alison Moyet album to be pretty disappointing. The voice is still there,but the songs were pretty uninteresting. Oh we’ll.

  10. 10.

    ruemara

    Running my guild mates through the raid finder cata raids. Just because I’m cool like that. Then some bed before I try to get out by 6 am for Livestrong.

  11. 11.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    Oh wow Burns, thanks for the heads up. Guess I’ll pass on that one. What the fuck are you talking about?

  14. 14.

    FlyingToaster

    I’m done packing and about to pack it in for the night; up in the morning and out to Logan to fly to Chicago to visit the dead in-laws.

    Yes, the dead ones. This will be the first time WarriorGirl will remember it (last time she was 9 months old). But we’re going to haul her off to the Field Museum for Sunday afternoon, which should be fun. If we get done early enough Sunday morning, we’ll take a stab at the Sears Tower (or whatever the fuck it’s named now).

    Have a good weekend at whatever celebrations ya got.

    Toaster +0 (too tired to find anything to drink).

  16. 16.

    burnspbesq

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    What the fuck are you talking about?

    Ask anyone with decent taste in music who was around in the 80s. She was probably Cole’s first crush. Or maybe second, after Deborah Harry.

  17. 17.

    Yatsuno

    So I just slightly tortured myself by having a 30 minute conversation with the NYD. I hate it because he’s just so damn easy to talk to.

  19. 19.

    Jewish Steel

    On my bicycle @12 noon. Where town ends and the country begins there was a coyote waiting for me to get down the road so he could be on his way. On my return, at the same intersection, there was an SUV pulled over and a child fully dressed in a little league baseball uniform vomiting profoundly in the ditch. The coyote, about 100 yards away and unobserved watched them with interest.

  20. 20.

    Pogonip

    Blackgate.com reports the death of Parke Godwin, author of Sherwood (Robin Hood from the Sheriff’s point of view). Mr. Godwin was 84.

    Sherwood is long out of print, but if you find a secondhand copy, it’s well worth buying.

  22. 22.

    bill d

    So if Snowden does get to Iceland can we start calling him Snjórden?

    That’d be cool.

  26. 26.

    bill d

    @Jewish Steel:

    That coyote is going to be eating some good puke tasting dirt tonight. Score!

    I saw one the other day on the back roads. They get a bad rap, they should sue the bankster owned 1%ing LooneyTunes for character defamation.

  27. 27.

    cyntax

    So where are you in the whole True Blood saga? Has Jessica started to come into her own yet? Cause da-ammmnnn.

    Eating lamb pappardelle, some asparagus, and drinking a bottle of crozes-hermitage. Gonna get caught up on Colbert Report (his mom was 92 when she passed–this week?).

  30. 30.

    Suffern ACE

    Went to see “This is the End”. I enjoyed it, although I’m not much of a fan of the main ensemble and their other movies. There is something funny about a bunch of grown men trying to deal with a decapitated head, although I probably need therapy for laughing at it.

  31. 31.

    Emma Peel

    Being straight, you can’t appreciate what makes True Blood truly great.

    Eric’s butt.
    Alcide’s butt.
    Jason’s butt.

    Waaaaay doggies!!

  32. 32.

    burnspbesq

    If Snowden wants to get to Iceland, he’s going to need a friend with a G650. That’s about the only private jet that could do HK-to-Rejkyavik non-stop.

  33. 33.

    Jewish Steel

    @bill d: It is a testament to my lack of species loyalty that my concern was mainly with the coyote. “Stay away from the sick kid vomit, dude.” I thought.

  34. 34.

    Cacti

    Early drafts of Paul Deen’s apology:

    “I just wanted to say I’m sorry to you people.”

    “It’s like Strom Thurmond told me once at the country club, before they let all the…”

    “Back when I was little girl, my Mammy told me that if you can’t say…”

  38. 38.

    MomSense

    Slumber party at my house! After pizza and 26 rounds of snacks they are finally in their sleeping bags. The cutest thing is that the old lab is sleeping right in the middle of the boys. They have been watching movies, petting him, and feeding snacks to him all night. He’s in puppy heaven right now.

  40. 40.

    chopper

    packing up for the great move out west.

    anybody who is contemplating moving from one coast to another with two small children, I don’t recommend it. but in this case it’s still worth it.

  42. 42.

    burnspbesq

    @bill d:

    He could stop and refuel in Tehran

    .

    Maybe not. The new preznit of Iran supposedly has permission from Khamanei to make nice with us, to see if we’ll turn down the economic sanctions a bit.

  43. 43.

    MomSense

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    Next time! We’ve got Star Wars Episode IV going and the dog is snoring and the boys are rubbing their eyes so hopefully everyone will get some sleep tonight!

  49. 49.

    Keith

    Watching “That’s My Boy” on Starz. Surprisingly funny movie, although Adam Sandler really did deserve that Worst Actor Razzie.

  52. 52.

    Schlemizel

    Had a huge storm go through early this AM. Took a few small branches from our trees but a block away many tree were blown over. One hit a house (nobody hurt) and another tore up a fence and shut down the store behind it. Lots of people without power.

    So then a couple hours ago we got round two & it was worse than this morning. Got 3 inches of rain in under 2 hours & really nasty winds. We made it through OK. It ripped the arbor out of the garden – it was fastened to bricks with “U” clamps! and battered a lot of our flowers. Probably a lot more trees down but I am not going out looking for them.

    Oh, they are predicting another round in the early hours of tomorrow and then yet another possibly Sunday.

  54. 54.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @Suffern ACE: I don’t eat when I’m getting my drunk on. Arm rassling, beer pong and quelf leave little time for culinary pleasures.

  55. 55.

    lojasmo

    We had planned to fly back to Minnesota from Portland today, but both freaked out about the boy and his friend flying alone Sunday, so we moved our tickets, and got rooms up on Mt. Hood tonight and tomorrow. Drove down to Hood river for drinks, then drove across to White Salmon for lunch. Now back at the hotel watching the first Batman reboot.

    Heath Ledger was awesome.

  56. 56.

    dance around in your bones

    I have tried to watch True Blood a few times, and I just don’t connect with it. I grew up with Bram Stoker and his Dracula; then Anne Rice and her vampire series; also Love at First Bite which is funny and romantic ( I cracked up at the scene where Susan St James offers George Hamilton a half a Quaalude and a martini with a twist but he declines because he doesn’t need drugs to suck her blood forever) – I just find all these recent vampire thingamajooos kinda juvenile.

    Ok, so you kids get offa my lawn!

  61. 61.

    Liquid

    Has there actually been an honest Vampires Vs. Zombies flick? Like a real drag-down knockout battle. There must have been at least one, right? If not, well you can thank me later.

  62. 62.

    Ruckus

    @chopper:
    Helped my sister move with her small child coast to coast, with one it wasn’t that bad. Actually the kid was better behaved and almost better company. Was 3 yrs old. The kid actually 3, the sister only slightly more mature.

  64. 64.

    dance around in your bones

    @Liquid:

    “Who am I? – – “I say…is the caw-sell faw?”

    Please translate into English or some close approximation :)

  69. 69.

    dance around in your bones

    @Alison: I believe the New York Dawg is a Marine with whom Yutsy is enamored or at least in lust with.

    Based upon past reading of comments :)

  72. 72.

    Narcissus

    Wouldn’t zombies be lower on the totem pole than vampires? I bet they’d have to take orders from vampires. Talk about a socioeconomic interpretation of horror.

  74. 74.

    Liquid

    Well wasn’t there that whole Dems/Repubs|Zombies/Vamps thing? Or was it the other way round?

    @dance around in your bones — You bastard! I’ve only ever had to endure that scene once per viewing! But the outtakes are punishment from beyond.

  77. 77.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @Keith:

    …although Adam Sandler really did deserve that Worst Actor Razzie.

    So…Was that a Lifetime Achievement Razzie?

  80. 80.

    YellowJournalism

    @Cassidy: I was surprised how much I liked it. Thought it would be “Twilight-Lite,” but I found myself cracking up at the Zombie internal monologue and the Rob Cordry “friendship.”

    I can’t believe the lead is the boy from “About a Boy,” either.

  83. 83.

    Gwangung

    Taking a break from working on my world premiere STEAMPUNK play (yes, our poster is Phil Foglio, yes, I’m a fanboy, no, my writer hasn’t drunk the kool aid…..yet). Going to a couple plays, including the latest iteraratiln of 14/48 (14 plays written, rehearsed and performed within 24 hours)

  84. 84.

    TG Chicago

    @Liquid:

    Well wasn’t there that whole Dems/Repubs|Zombies/Vamps thing? Or was it the other way round?

    I would think the other way around. The liberal stereotype would be that liberals want to suck the blood of all the producing class while the conservatives are mindless automatons who have no use for brains other than as food.

    Granted, you could go either way with zombies (using stereotypes the other side likes), but I don’t see how you call conservatives vampires. They love crosses, generally. Plus vampires come from Yurp, which is socialist or something. Zombies are pure Americana!

  90. 90.

    piratedan

    @lojasmo: Hood River/White Salmon is a great little place, if you get a chance, do the “fruit loop” if you’re into fresh produce and some small wineries. If you’re looking to imbibe, there’s also the Full Sail Brewery in “downtown” Hood River. Depending on time, a trip to Multinomah Falls is worth the effort

  93. 93.

    Yatsuno

    @piratedan: I have a couple old friends from college who grew up in White Salmon. They of course all knew each other, so the one coming out as a lesbyterian produced a ton of yawns. It’s a cute little town actually. I hid out in a cabin there for Y2K.

    @dance around in your bones: Nothing I haven’t disclosed before, except he just resigned his commission. I told him it’s a formality anyway. He wants to grow his hair long. I give that two weeks max. :)

  94. 94.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    @fuckwit:

    Yeah, but on the sheer size of the body of horrible work, it’s Sandler all the way.

  95. 95.

    2liberal

    @Alison:

    RE: NYD
    NYD stands for New York Dawg who is a male and is Yatsuno’s former love interest who just left. I am not sure if Yatsuno is male or female.

  96. 96.

    MomSense

    @Suffern ACE:

    You haven’t seen gassy until you have tried to sleep with a 13 year old lab who has been snacking on pizza and doritos all night! No one seems to be complaining this morning. Now they are eating bacon and eggs and then we are going to a beach that has an old fort. Boys are bringing toy swords so seagulls beware!

  98. 98.

    lojasmo

    @piratedan:

    Not our first time. We’ve done those things. If anybody’s in the area, Solstice in Bingen is an EXCELLENT restaurant. Also, Everybody’s Brewing in White Salmon has very good ale, and food.

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