Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

Trump should be leading, not lying.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

You cannot shame the shameless.

We’re watching the self-immolation of the leading world power on a level unprecedented in human history.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty. ~Thomas Jefferson

White supremacy is terrorism.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Oppose, oppose, oppose. do not congratulate. this is not business as usual.

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Thanks for all the birthday wishes. Walt asked me what I wanted to do on my birthday, and I told him the perfect birthday for me would be he and Seth come over, I’ll make a lasagne and salad and corn on the cob and some tomatoes/basil/moz and some butterscotch cookies, and we can sit here, just the three of us with no crazy bullshit, and watch hockey and true blood all night.

And so it is happening.

Reader Interactions

111Comments

  4. 4.

    bill d

    Glad you are having the birthday you wish to have and I hope that those hockey dudes provide an enjoyable end to your night.

  7. 7.

    Keith G

    A sincere Happy Birthday John. Thank you for what you have put together here.

    I am at a loss for a useful transition because my head is spinning.

    I just got the word that my older brother died late last night of a massive heart attack. He had lived 62 years. He was a physician, an old fashioned fiscal conservative, and my adversary in many hours of , mostly, good natured political debate.

    When one of his emails pinged through, I could not wait to open it to see what exasperating thing he had to say about progressive politics and what turn our discussions would take for the rest of the week. His rebuttals could be punishing, but through the years (from Carter til Obama) he helped me be better at avoiding sloppy thinking and recognizing unsound argumentation.

    And many years ago when it was not fashionable, as a young 20-something conservative, he looked out for his gay younger brother.

  9. 9.

    ET

    If you ever wondered if those Pocket Hoses that expand/contract work. They do.

    What is nice is that they are significantly lighter AND you can gather it up nice and neatly.

  10. 10.

    geg6

    Sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate, Cole. But you’re missing alcohol on that menu. Otherwise, perfect, just what I’d enjoy myself. Well, other than hockey (I’m still pissed at the Pens) and True Blood, of which I’ve caught every episode so far. My dinner will be great, too. And I can’t wait to cue up “Best In Show”.

    Happy day, John Cole.

  13. 13.

    geg6

    @Keith G:

    Oh my! I’m so so sorry.

    It doesn’t help much now, but that’s how my dad went. After I could think straight, I was happy he didn’t suffer like my mom did before she passed.

  15. 15.

    becca

    Happy birthday, JC, and many more. With butterscotch.

    It’s a sweet life, sometimes, ya know?

  17. 17.

    Svensker

    and some butterscotch cookies,

    Like, homemade butterscotch cookies? And would you be sharing a recipe for said butterscotch cookies?

  18. 18.

    sb

    Happy Birthday (belatedly) to the host. I turned 50 myself on June 16th. We’re both Gemini’s. My wife tells me my being Gemini explains a lot and I’m still not sure she’s being entirely complimentary.

    Happy Day, JC.

  20. 20.

    Jane2

    @Keith G: Condolences…I can’t imagine my brother dying, and at such a young age. He sounds like he was a great brother and one of true character.

  22. 22.

    Southern Beale

    That sounds like my perfect evening, except for the Walt and Seth part since I don’t know them, but add my best buds who are the equivalent of a Walt and Seth and that is the best night on earth.

    Also, ditch the butterscotch cookies for chocolate chip.

  23. 23.

    Southern Beale

    @ET:

    Thanks I have wondered that actually. I bought a kink-proof hose that weighs about 300 pounds and actually tore the nozel off my rain barrel. Think lighter is probably better.

  25. 25.

    LT

    I missed your birthday post, John – as I was off with the missus celebrating my 50th! (On the 21st.)

    Happy Birthday to you – sounds perfect – enjoy the food, hockey, and friends!

  26. 26.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Keith G:

    I have no words to tell you how sorry I am. That’s devastating news. I’m glad you have good (and good-natured) memories of your brother. Sincere condolences to you and all who loved him.

  30. 30.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @ET:

    Yes they work perfectly until they don’t, I was in love with mine until I was using it the other weekend and it just exploded, pissing water all over the place. There is no fixing it of course so now I shall have to replace it. Still I have to admit that I liked it so much (it is so much easier than lugging a damn behemoth all over the garden) that I am willing to spend the money to do that.

    Happy Birthday JC, and thank you for creating this virtual pub for us all to hang out in on a Saturday night. Appreciate it.

  34. 34.

    SuperHrefna

    @Keith G: I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing a bit of him with us, he sounds like a good man, a wonderful brother and he will live on in your memories of him.

  35. 35.

    Josie

    @Keith G: I’m so sorry for your loss, Keith. Big brothers can be very important in our lives. The last time I saw mine, I realized he was getting on in age and the realization was kind of scary.

  40. 40.

    piratedan

    @Cacti: just moar evidence that we actually live in a totalitarian state is that people can shout from the rooftops about what a shitbag administration this is and they’re soon asked for campaign donations to support their chosen candidates in the next election.

    Edited because who knows, maybe somebody somewhere actually has proof

  41. 41.

    The prophet Nostradumbass

    @Cacti: she actually did receive several during her speech, but that’s not interesting enough, I guess.

  42. 42.

    gelfling545

    @Keith G: My deepest condolences. Losing a sibling is to lose a part of yourself in a very real way. After a time, though, you will realize how you still carry a part of him within you. I am not religious and have no idea what might happen after death but I truly believe that love never ends.

  43. 43.

    JWL

    You’d be singing a different tune about “the perfect birthday” if you were a day trip away from Las Vegas, Cole.

  44. 44.

    Scott Alloway

    @Keith G: So sorry about your loss.
    I am fearful of the first death of a sibling (I am the oldest of four at 63). I can’t imagine the pain. I hope the memories (both good and not-so-good) stay with you and help you as you deal with this.

  46. 46.

    Scott Alloway

    Happy birthday, Cole. You ain’t fat. I’m fat. You ain’t old, I am. Tunch ain’t fat, Hell, my previous kitties (Miss Priss and Pippin) topped out and 35 and 29 pounds on the scale. Miss Priss died at 13 of cancer, Pippie lived to 18 (cancer). He was kinda long – 35 inches from nose to end of tail, but I digress. It’s your birthday and I wish you nothing but the best. You are a treasure to read and your dogmatic maintenance of this site is something that gives me hope.

  47. 47.

    raven

    Went to a great local BBQ for their chicken and pepper and vinegar splashed in my goddamn eye,. Used a shot glass for the first time in years to wash it out!

  52. 52.

    geg6

    @raven:

    Mmmm, was that Carolina sauce? Cuz that’s the only good thing to come from the Carolinas as far as I can tell. Still, it’s so delicious that I can almost forget about all the rest of that Carolina crazyness. Almost, but not quite.

  53. 53.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @raven: Ouch! I once got a squirt of jalapeño juice in my eye, from the far end of the table no less. The guy couldn’t have aimed more precisely if he’d practiced for a month. Really stings.

  54. 54.

    SiubhanDuinne

    And John, in case I didn’t say it in so many words in the birthday thread, hope it’s been, and continues to be, a perfect day for you and the start of another excellent trip around the sun. Thank you for Balloon Juice. It is an FSMsend.

  58. 58.

    Dee Loralei

    @Keith G: Deepest condolences Keith. I hope your good memories can keep you comforted.

    Happy Birthday Cole. And, ahem, there was no mention of pants in your post, are we to assume that you will be pantsless during your debauchery with the guys?

  60. 60.

    Anya

    Happy birthday, John! Don’t change a bit because you are awesome just the way you are. Okay, maybe eating a little less meat.

  63. 63.

    Anya

    @Keith G: My condolences for your loss. I can’t imagine the sadness you must be feeling right now. Sending your way my most positive thoughts. I hope you’re comforted by your memories and the love and support of those around you.

  64. 64.

    Anne Laurie

    @Keith G: My most sincere condolences.

    May all the good memories gradually supplant your sorrow & shock tonight.

  67. 67.

    Mike Dixon

    Amazing post. Makes me wish I liked sports and could possibly fathom eating pasta and corn on the cob as part of the same meal.
    HBD!

  70. 70.

    eemom

    @Keith G:

    My condolences as well. And I also want to say that is a beautiful tribute to your brother, and to your relationship with him, that you posted here on this thread.

  72. 72.

    different-church-lady

    Can I just try to express how damn happy I am that this has been such a great Stanley Cup final so far? Two great teams, two great cities, no stupid controversies, no dirty play, no trash talk, tight games, skill, great goaltending, great goals, etc. etc.

    This post, of course, has absolutely nothing to do that I am +1 Singapore Sling and will shortly be +2.

  73. 73.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @SIA: If my ever-increasingly faulty memory is to be trusted, you are also a Crab, yes? Don’t you have a birthday in mid-July?

    And how the heck are you, anyhow?

  74. 74.

    mai naem

    @Keith G: I’m sorry. 62 is young. This is all anecdotal but it seems like a lot of doctors die young. Must be the stress.

  76. 76.

    SIA

    @SiubhanDuinne: hi SD!! Your memory is excellent! July 12. Yours is in August, right? I’m fine, but crabby cause I have to go to KY tomorrow. Too much travel lately. Saw you’re retiring soon – will you stay in GA? Take care!

  78. 78.

    Ruckus

    @Keith G:
    I am sorry.

    It is always hard to lose a sibling. I lost my sister and my best friends 5 yrs ago to breast cancer and still think about her regularly. The pain lessens but never really goes away, we just learn to live with it a bit.

  80. 80.

    Mike in NC

    @geg6: Re Carolinas: rumor has it that the GOP plans to run crazy teabagger Rep Virginia Foxx against incumbent Democrat Kay Hagen for the NC Senate race. Frankly, I have no idea how that would turn out. Living in this state for the past 5 years has generally been a huge disappointment.

  81. 81.

    Ruckus

    @SIA:
    Hey! Another July 12 person. I haven’t decided how old I’ll be this year. I think I’m going to claim whatever I want no matter what my actual age is.
    Had a friend 2 doors down growing up who was born on July 12, same year, same hour but in Japan. We got confused trying to figure out who was born first, what with the dateline and several timezones.

  82. 82.

    dance around in your bones

    @Keith G: I am very sorry to hear that. It hurts to lose a sibling, no matter what their political persuasion.

    And he stood up for you when it counted.

    Just – so sorry, so sad.

  83. 83.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @SIA: Ah, the Land of the Turtle and Aqua Buddha. I was there (driving through) about 10 days ago.

    Yes, I am officially retiring June 30 although I’ll be doing contract work a few days a week through October at least. But I’m pretty excited, after 25 years with the same employer.

    For the time being, i’ll stay in the ATL. But the truth is, with my father long dead (I came here because of him) and the job at an end, there’s nothing to keep me here. I do not love Atlanta. Stay tuned on this one, and I welcome any and all input (pretty much, I want someplace that has great weather and blue politics, and is affordable).

  84. 84.

    Heliopause

    Walt asked me what I wanted to do on my birthday, and I told him the perfect birthday for me would be a half dozen midgets dressed as monks and nuns whipping me with willow branches while Julia Roberts pleasures herself in the corner, meanwhile Betty White impales a shackled Eric Cantor with her stilettos and John Waters is shooting the whole thing.

    FYPFY.

  85. 85.

    Keith G

    Thanks so much for the kind words. Clicking back to read them helps as I am working to pin down travel plans to rural NW Ohio (Defiance)

    Until today, I have never been so sad that it physically hurt. And it reminds me that we can fight, fume and argue over all sorts of topics – as we did with frequent verbal heat, and still not fall into the trap of attacking the person.

  86. 86.

    PurpleGirl

    @Ruckus: While in college I met a girl who was born the same day, same year but 9 hours earlier than myself, she in Brooklyn, I in Manhattan. I called her my weird twin. (She died after fighting cancer 11 years ago.)

  89. 89.

    Ruckus

    @Keith G:
    Ending a day of verbal jousting while remaining friends and not ending up name calling is a wonderful thing. You can be mad at them, you may even feel like you never want to talk to them again but that passes quickly as your adrenaline wears off and you realize that you still like them in spite of their pigheadedness. When it is a sibling that bond seems even stronger. You won’t lose that. In time you will remember all the good and bad times as special, more special than even now. Embrace that, for that is what we are all about. That ability to remember and recall not only the events but also the feelings we got from them. You will feel sad and that’s OK as well
    Take care, remember everything, hoist a drink in his honor. And yours for being his friend.

  94. 94.

    SIA

    @SiubhanDuinne: We’d hate to lose you but I understand. Atlanta doesn’t hold my heart either, but for now it’s home (well, almost 30 years, more of a home than this Army brat ever had!) I’ll be thinking of dream retirement places for you! I met an interesting Italian guy on a flight that lives in Wilmington NC, and said it was great. Not a true blue state yet though! I’ve often thought I could end up in Asheville.

  97. 97.

    Monala

    Anybody up for some humor? I commented on TNC’s recent thread on out-of-wedlock births in the black community that the whole “dysfunctional black culture” meme is so foreign to my lived experience as a black woman. After the thread was shut down due to excessive trolling, I recalled an old SNL skit, starring Louis Gossett Jr. and Eddie Murphy, that made a similar point in a very funny way. I found the name and date in the SNL archives (“Father and Son,” Oct. 2, 1982), but not a clip.

    It went something like this: The skit opens in what appears to be an apartment in the projects. Gossett is sitting in a chair, looking angry, while mournful music with an African drum beat plays in the background.

    His son, played by Murphy, soon enters, and the two men begin yelling at each other. Gossett shouts about how his son is going to wind up dead if he keeps messing around with gangs and drugs, and how ashamed his mother would be if she had lived to see how her boy turned out.

    Murphy yells back that he’d rather be the way he is than like his father, kissing the butt of the Man while getting kicked in the face. And besides, his mother’s early death is his father’s fault, because of all his drinking and running around with other women.

    The two argue like this for a minute, then Murphy suddenly stops and says, “You know what? This scene sucks!”

    Gossett responds, “I know! I didn’t grow up like this! Did you?”

    Murphy: “Hell, no! I grew up on Long Island. And I love my father! Right, Pops?”

    An older black man in the audience stands up and shouts, “I love you, too, son!”

    Gossett: “Why do they always give us scenes like this? They must think all black folks live this way.”

    Murphy: “Yeah, but I’m not going to play this game any more. I’m outta here!”

    Gossett: “Yeah, me too!”

    The two then exit the stage, stopping only to open a door and yell, “Shut up!” at three musicians who are behind it, playing the mourning music and drums.

  98. 98.

    Comrade Nimrod Humperdink

    Happy birthday Cole. Sounds like a fine celebration to me. And I’m sorry for your loss Keith. Hang in there and take care of you and yours.

  99. 99.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @SIA: Yeah, I’ve been here since 1984 and also lived here for about three years back in the ’60s. So I’ve actually spent lots more time in Atlanta than anyplace else. To that extent, I guess it is “home.”

    The other day I was messaging my former sister in law on FB (she lives in Virginia) and said I was looking for someplace with decent weather and decent politics. Without missing a beat, she replied “Well, we have nice weather.” LOL.

    I have definitely considered the Asheville area. If nothing else, it’s a blue dumpling in a red-purple casserole. And the mountains are lovely.

  100. 100.

    mainmati

    Dennis Hartley over at Hullabaloo is a filmic treasure. I really like how he puts together new or obscure films I haven’t seen with classic or newer films I have seen. Of course, I suspect most of us have a treasure trove of unusual/obscure films that are not well-known. I know I have. Would be fun to offer on BJ with commentary like this.

  103. 103.

    Yatsuno

    @SiubhanDuinne: Come out to the Emerald City. We’ll give you the official sales pitch about why Seattle sucks, then we’ll show you some good times. Ifn ya decide to stick around it would be nice. Plus doctors here trend towards awesome.

  104. 104.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Yatsuno: I’ve visited Seattle twice, loved it both times. Portland, too, and we won’t even mention Vancouver :-P

    I think I could be very happy in the PNW.

  105. 105.

    burnspbesq

    @Mike in NC:

    Hagan can’t play the Dook card against Foxx the way she did against Dole (you think it was an accident that she wore a Carolina blue suit in her last round of TV spots last time?), because Foxx is also a Tarhole. But I’m sure that the Yankee Carpetbagger card will be played early and often; Foxx was born and raised in Da Bronx, Noo Yawk.

  106. 106.

    Violet

    @Keith G: I’m so sorry, Keith G. What a terrible loss. I hope your good memories help you through the tough days ahead. Hugs.

  107. 107.

    lojasmo

    Aside from the pasta, and the cookies, and the corn, and the sports, it sounds fine.

  108. 108.

    lojasmo

    @Yatsuno:

    I want someplace that has great weather and blue politics, and is affordable

    My spidey sense is tingling, Yutz.

  109. 109.

    kindness

    I was just out back watering my garden through dusk when a couple cat birds (that usually harass my cat but my cat wasn’t there) where going nuts. They left and a bit later this chick jumps out of a cherry tree. Well I pick it up and put it back in the nest. It jumps again and then another jumps. I was wonderin wtf was going on. So I grabbed a headlamp and a ladder to do it right as it was now fully dark. Well I go to put them in the nest and I see this big King Snake in the nest with another chick half way in it’s mouth. I went and got some tongs and gloves and grabbed the snake and pulled it out of the nest. I shook that thing but he was not gonna let go of that lil chick. So I just put it (and the chick) in this farm field behind my yard away from my house. The chicks refuse to stay in the nest so I got em boxed away. I’ll do it in the morning when their parents are back. Shit that was weird.

  111. 111.

    kindness

    Put the chicks back in the nest just after first light. The parents were back within an hour.

    All is good in the neighborhood….

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