I am so very, very sorry. Awful. There’s just nothing else to say. I think you should just let yourself go and cry your eyes out.
5.
scav
He was floofy.
6.
Omnes Omnibus
Maybe playing with the girls will help. Maybe not. It might be worth a try. Shitty day.
7.
phoebes-in-santa fe
Cole, you loved Tunch and he knew it and returned your love, many times over. I have two cats and have always considered Tunch and Kevin Drum’s two large cats as part of my “cat family”. I feel so sorry for you, tonight, and donating to MARC helped me a bit.
Please cry and mourn as much as you need to. There’s no “expected time” for mourning a loved family member as Tunch was to you,
8.
Mary G
If I knew anything I said would make you feel better, I’d say it, but there is nothing. You just have to get through it. It isn’t easy. It will take a long time. Tunch was worth it.
9.
Antonius
In memoriam, for the next month I’m changing my Facbook photo to FEED. RIP, Tunch. Best to you John. I’m sorry.
10.
kwAwk
It’s okay Cole. He was in your life for 12 years. None of us expect you to finish grieving in a few hours.
I’m not even much of a cat person, but I loved your stories about Tunch and most of all I loved how much you loved him. It was genuine and deep and very touching. When I read the news today, the wind was knocked out of me. I’m very sorry for your loss, John.
15.
Johannes
Oh, John. It’s not much, I know, but we’re empathizing with you tonight in our house. You’re a good guy, and Tunch was lucky to have you. And vice-versa.
16.
Angela
Of course you are going to cry. Tunch is worth the tears. Grief sucks, German or not.
17.
Bobby Thomson
No such thing, John. Grief is different for everyone, but it always sucks.
18.
Helen
Please don’t apologize. We can always leave if we feel it’s too maudlin. We are here because we want to be here.
What Genine said.
19.
Quinerly
Beyond words
20.
Darcy
We love you. Through him, we came together. please grieve.
It’s OK. You will be in grief for awhile. Tunch seemed like a great guy and a good companion, and of course you miss him. We understand.
22.
Heather
Never before commented, reading for years. I’ve been in tears for the last 30 minutes since reading the news. He was such a special pet, but it was your bond with him that we all felt. You expressed so often the quotidian joy that those of us lucky enough to have great pets get to enjoy. You were lucky to have him, just as he was lucky to have you.
23.
Desert Rat
Hang in there, big guy. I lost one of my cats a few months ago. It’s tough.
Hug Lily and Rosie tight, hang in there, and be with people.
24.
sgrAstar
Cole, you taught us all to love that big fat cat of yours- he was sensational! Like many BJers, I’ve made a donation to MARC in his honor. <3
25.
Omnes Omnibus
I occasionally still cry over a dog who died in 1985.
26.
SuperHrefna
Can you get any of your family or friends to come and sit with you? It might help not to be alone when there is such a big Tunch shaped hole in your life. I really feel for you, I know how much this hurts and there is no easy way out of it. Yes, Tunch was a cat, but love is love and your loss is a real and terrible one.
27.
Angela
@Helen: I’ll make a forth in that sitting with in silence.
28.
La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes)
That’s the problem with being an internet community. We can’t come over and sit with you, which is what we do in the South when someone has a loss like this.
Don’t go thru it alone if you can help it.
29.
jenn
I have 2 disparate recommendations – dive right in to the grief, maybe sort through your stack of Tunch pics, and write a letter to Tunch, or perhaps snuggle on the couch with your canine furballs and have a movie marathon. I’ve done both when working my way through grief, and both have been useful in their ways. Hugs to you!
30.
MaryRC
Sometimes all you can do is cry. We understand.
31.
Laertes
Witnessed, brother. That was a special cat, and you made him a part of all of our lives. We’re right there with you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
If writing to us helps you grieve, you write, I’ll read.
Tunch may have been floofy, but he left a couch size dent in my heart, too.
33.
RedKitten
You cry as much as you need to. He was your best friend for 12 years, of COURSE you’re going to cry over him and mourn him deeply. I wish we could take your pain away. Give Lily lots of hugs…it’ll help.
34.
YellowJournalism
Been doing the mega-embarrassing baby talk with my dog every chance I get tonight.
Can’t help but keep saying that my heart goes out to you, John.
Sigh. If I was there I’d punch you in the shoulder and make you tell me all sorts of mushy stories about him. I lost my buddy of 20+ years in my college days, went to bed for 3 straight days, sobbing and keeling. You do what you have to, then when you get up, you know that he loved you, you loved him and that’s all that fucking matters.
36.
ArchTeryx
In very late (and regretting it) but damn it, I’m sorry. :-( That’s about the worst way to lose a pet – and I’d be really damned tempted to extract a pound of flesh from that dog’s owner, even if she IS a sibling.
It hurts like a bastard because there was so much love there, Cole.
We’re all thinking of you and, as much as we can, we share in your grief.
I’m off to give my little doggy a hug.
42.
Joey Maloney
John, I’m so very sorry.
43.
melissaD
I have been crying all night,silly me, for a boy I never petted, but he was so lovely in looks and we were all knowing that you were spoofing on his ‘terribleness’ as his lovely attitude was pretty clear. I cannot imagine your grief.
44.
Spaghetti Lee
John, you take as much time as you need. We’re all here for you.
45.
Nina-the-first
Here to bear witness to so much that has happened today.
No apology necessary John. You’ve lost a much loved family member; you’re entitled to your grief.
47.
Mr Stagger Lee
If it comforts you, There is a thread at the GOS and the people send their condolences plus the request to donate from MARC in memory of Tunch. Good people mourning, the loss not just a pet a companion that was a comfort to John.
48.
Lawrence
So sorry. I have lost cats to old age and sickness, but never like this.
49.
Keith
You’re a bigger man than me; I would have insisted on that dog being put down if I wasn’t able to do it with my own bare hands.
50.
ChristianPinko
Take care of yourself.
51.
Emma
Allow the grief. It’s important to grieve. But remember to celebrate Tunch’s life too. Think of the good times, even if they bring more grief. After a while you’ll find the joy in the memories.
just go with the grief John. we are all crying with you and even if at a distance present in our way missing him.
54.
Betty Cracker
I’m sure I’m not the only one here who never met Tunch and yet still feels stunned and incredibly saddened at his passing — like we’ve lost one of our own. That’s because through your pictures and stories, you let us all see what a sweet, special guy he was. Thank you for sharing Tunch with us.
55.
ArchTeryx
@Keith: Amen. That dog killed a family pet. Getting put down would be the KINDEST thing, but the fault ultimately is with the owner, not the dog.
56.
Spaghetti Lee
And, Suzanne alluded to this in another thread, but, don’t be alone if you can’t stand it, even if it’s just calling. Call your parents, or your siblings, or your college buddies or army buddies or fraternity brothers. They’ll listen too.
57.
Emerald
You’re doing exactly the right thing: revel, wallow, smother yourself in active grief. Do it as long as you need to do it. Share it with us. We need it too.
I too had a Best Cat in the World. I’ve had other cats since her and I’ve loved them. I love my current Emerald kitteh completely, and she adores me. But there will never be another Belle, who had an unconquerable personality and who completely loved me.
I look back on her now, after 12 years, and I’m so glad I had her in my life. I rescued her at age 5, and she lived with me another 15 years, so she was 20, at least. At the end she faded hard, and sat out under a bush in the front yard for weeks. During the last week I sat with her, and carried her up the few steps so she could go in an drink a little and eat (she wanted to go in to do that). I could tell she knew what I was doing, and that she appreciated it.
And I look back on that and am so thankful I did it.
You have all of these wonderful memories of Tunch right here on this blog (and so do we), and after awhile you’ll be so glad you have them. You’ll always appreciate him, and eventually your memories will stop hurting and turn to joy, just to have had him in your life at all, and to have loved him as you did.
And you know he knew it. And that’s why we have pets. They’re more than worth it, to both sides, even with the grief. It all turns to joy eventually.
58.
mohmlet
I’ve been lurking here for years now, years during which I lost two of my three cats, including my own personal Tunch. She looked like a small, female version of him. Same markings, same ridiculously smug and adorable face. Somehow, when I lost her, just knowing that her big male twin was out there helped.
Like so many here, I’ve donated to MARC in his memory. Having been through it twice recently, I wish I could tell you some magic way to make it stop hurting, but I can’t. I’m going to go find my remaining cat and hug her now.
59.
Leslie
I’m so, so sorry. Take all the time you need to grieve; my pets are part of my family too, and the longer they’re with us the harder it is to lose them. I gave MARC some money in Tunch’s honor.
60.
gbear
Being 3/4 German myself, I know that once I start crying, there’s always about 20 years worth of other stuff that gets cried about at the same time. Please let yourself grieve as long and hard as you need.
61.
Elizabelle
Not maudlin at all. And if it makes you feel better, please post away all night.
You have a large audience of Tunch and pet admirers. Maybe more than you knew!
I would love to see a pic of Tunch with dishwasher soap suds on his face.
Besides, there’s only so many ways we can say “fuck George Zimmerman.”
62.
ms badger
De-lurking to say how very sorry I am. Tunch’s passing was brutal and sudden and we mourn with you in shocked silence. The love you shared in telling his stories and about the additions of Lily and Rosie to your life were a joy to read. Your love led to our devotion and now our sorrow. And we will be here tomorrow and the day after than and the day after that, because that’s what family does.
Never too maudlin, you can’t be when you lose a friend.
And, despite the jokes, cats do know.
65.
Omnes Omnibus
@gbear: The only other option is violating Belgian neutrality.
66.
chopper
fuck this day. just straight-up fuck it.
67.
hoppipolla
was away from the nets most of the day and just saw the news. so, so sorry, JC. thanks for letting us all get to know Tunch, though now a lot of folks are feeling gut-punched about a cat they never even met IRL.
again, so sorry.
68.
rammalamadingdong
My Pookie died in 2005. I still have her dish with the food in it. I know it is weird, but I loved her and she loved me.
69.
Mike
Oh, the cat tower and his toys and food bowl and his hair still on the furniture. Oh god. John, weep until you pass out, and go hug the dogs. They’ll know something’s different even if they can’t show it properly. Give them loves.
70.
brad
Don’t apologize, please.
You lost a family member, mourn and know you’re not alone.
71.
erlking
Apologize for nothing, man. He earned your grief and it’s right and good for you to show it.
Hell, I’ve been leaking a few into my wineglass this evening and trying to explain to the wife what Tunch meant to ME. From the looks, she may have me committed.
72.
Nazgul35
Nine months later and three years later and I still cry.
73.
Mornington Crescent
There’s nothing to apologize for. My father died a few weeks ago. You just work through it.
74.
Mj_Oregon
I basically lurk here but I’ve always loved the way you talk about your animals, John. Coming here tonight to vicariously share outrage over the Martin verdict I find this sad, sad news instead. And now the tears are just streaming down my face as I sob uncontrollably for you and Tunch. I’m a kitty person and so loved your Tunch stories and photos but sometimes life just sucks big time.
My favorite kitty ever died three months ago after a very short and nasty illness. I’m still raw from that and ever will be. I know what you’re going through – the “if onlys” and the self blame along with such pain it’s almost unendurable. As much as we would like it to be, life is NEVER fair so we have to grab hold of the people and animals we love and appreciate the joy they bring us every day. Some day this gaping, horrible hole in your heart that belongs to Tunch will be filled with loving memories, but tonight and tomorrow and for many days to come, there will be tears. They are his tribute from a loving friend.
75.
Sottos
John – First time commenter, but a follower of your blog since the early days, and a fellow lover of pets to excess. I am very fond of this blog and its inhabitants, both human and not, and am really saddened to hear about Tunch. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling, but my thoughts are with you. Be good to yourself –
76.
condorcet runner up
So very sorry, John. Really, really sorry. No shame in crying.
77.
SuperHrefna
@ArchTeryx: given that the owner was Cole’s sister, don’t you think you could drop this topic? He’s had a terrible night, he’s in shock, why on earth do you think that vilifying his siblings is going to help him get some sleep?
78.
cmorenc
John:
Your vivid accounts of Tunch has made him the beloved pet of all of us here at Balloon Juice, and right now I’m sitting here crying with you. When the day comes someday that my beloved Italian Greyhound passes on, it’s going to be an unimaginably tough time filled with tears of grief.
The day when you take in a pet cat or dog, with all the joy, companionship and love that comes with it, an unavoidable part of the deal is their much shorter lifespan than yours, meaning you’re taking on an inevitable day like this one. You treated Tunch as honorably and well and lovingly as a cat could ever hope for from his human.
@ArchTeryx: Can you just save this stuff until another day? Perhaps mid-September? You’re judgement is not helpful this evening.
82.
Jewish Steel
For such a paltry investment of food and attention pets stand ready to give unbounded loyalty and unconditional love. That they should die at all seems a great cruelty and proof positive of perverse or non-existent creator.
John, I hope you get another kitty (or two) soon. There will never be another Tunch, but I think it will help to have another purry presence in your house.
84.
Ellid
I am so sorry. He was a wonderful cat, and you have every right to grieve for him.
85.
sweaver
The anonymity of the internet lets me type out that I am actually crying, too. I’m not supposed to say that, I’m supposed to buy you a beer and let you cry. But I have always had animals and there is no pain in the world more sharp and painful than their loss. Unless you’re lucky enough to have had that with a human – more rare and usually more complicated. But fuck, why is it that I have felt weirdly loving towards Tunch all the years that I’ve been reading Balloon Juice? I’m sad for you, but the whole thing is so sad. I’m so sorry. So sorry.
86.
Citizen_X
Tunch was awesome, in the best sense of the word.
87.
mdblanche
Jesus, this day. I’m so sorry for you.
88.
spudgun
I still can’t get over this news so I keep checking in for new posts and I end up crying again…I wish I could give you a great big squeezy hug.
You do what you have to do to express your grief, John. Don’t worry about whether or not it’s maudlin. Everyone’s with you.
Once again, so sorry for your loss.
89.
ArchTeryx
Yes, I take the point. Stuff like this just makes me see red: it’s not the first time I’ve seen this happen, and I followed the Tunch story as closely as anyone on here, even if I mostly lurk.
90.
Ripley
Shit. Sorry, Cole.
91.
khead
Holy shit. Tunch? Please tell me no.
92.
Dr. Squid
The verdict was infuriating… and expected. This was not, and I was still crying about it as I put my son to bed 15 minutes ago.
You are NOT being maudlin.
93.
Teddy's Person
Grieve unapologetically. It will hurt until it doesn’t and then hurt some more. I still occasionally am grief stricken for the dog I grew up with, who died … 32 years ago. They get in our hearts and don’t let go.
94.
billgerat
Shit happens. And it’s been a shitty day. I’m so sorry for your loss.
95.
David Hunt
Oh my god. I am so sorry.
96.
MariedeGournay
Just found out. I am so sorry. Tunch was awesome. He reminded me of my wife’s chubby blind cat, Geordie. Everytime I saw Tunch it brought me back to the first years we dated. I’d drive over after work and the little guy was always waiting at the door. Something about those particular kinds of cat just make life so much better.
RIP Tunch.
97.
Mike
@Keith: After reading how he died, my first thought was, I could not be trusted around that dog or its owner at that point. Ugh, all rage and casting blame.
98.
Villago Delenda Est
John, as others have pointed out, everyone deals with a loss like this in their own way.
Know that all of us (well, with apparently at least one exception) stand with you in your mourning of a wonderful friend and companion.
He lives on in all of our memories, as my beloved childhood pets do. My family still talks about our crazy little french poodle, Charlie, who would come running up to you if you snapped a cookie, wanting his cut. Who would not let you sit alone in a chair. Who we used to tease saying “mommy’s home” before my mother drove up…and the little guy KNEW exactly what her car sounded like, and would not react the same way to any other vehicle that might enter the driveway.
You’ll always have your memories of the great floofy cat. He lives on there.
@SuperHrefna: I don’t mean to pile on, but this. Exactly this.
This is not something that should be commented on or given advice about here. Not unless John asks us specifically for our thoughts on it.
This is a horrible event all around and we are but bystanders in the tragedy. They’ll work it out as a family.
100.
hitchhiker
I just hate that this happened to you. I just do. You can’t be too maudlin — that’s just impossible.
Fuck, damn.
101.
MariedeGournay
Just found out. I am so sorry. Tunch was awesome. He reminded me of my wife’s chubby blind cat, Geordie. Everytime I saw Tunch it brought me back to the first years we dated. I’d drive over after work and the little guy was always waiting at the door. Something about those particular kinds of cat just make life so much better. RIP Tunch
102.
eclare
I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine your loss. Godspeed.
103.
JCT
We’re all there with you, John.
Nothing worse than a sudden death for those left behind- try to focus on the good, there was 12 years of it. Tunch was so lucky to be loved like that.
Strong thoughts to you and your girls.
104.
SG
Not maudlin at all, John. It’s never again for us, too. So I, for one, welcome the chance to visit memories of The Mighty One.
@cmorenc: He was indeed the beloved pet of all of us at Balloon Juice. I remember going to my first Balloon juice meetup, and at a certain point in the evening everyone fell to writing “TUNCH” on the paper supplied to the tables. I think that at that point I was so new to this blog that I had to have it explained to me who the TUNCH was …
anyhow, ever since then I have religiously tried to comment on every TUNCH thread. He was an awesome cat.
take care, and add my condolences to your overwhelming sorrow.
107.
tejanarusa
Another mostly lurker, shocked to see the terrible news on my facebook feed. So, so sorry. I lost a cat in similar fashion, though she was feral, only a little “tamed”, enough to allow me to pet her and feed her, and give her a warm bed to sleep in. Nonetheless, when a neighbor’s dog attacked her…it broke my heart.
But Tunch was your beloved companion, sleeping by your head, with you all the time. I know only a little of what you’re feeling, and can only wish you healing at a time in the future. RIP, Tunch.
108.
WaynersT
Oh fluffy Tunch. What a fucking horrible horrible horrible day.
Hoep you can post some video of him – I think recently you had posted one of him talking non stop.
109.
kdaug
Hang tight, buddy. No words.
110.
SIA
I can’t seem to leave, I’ve read every word of the Stuck post and now the threads and comments for Tunch. I guess it’s my version of sitting with you. Im touched that so many people who read the blog but don’t comment are coming forward to condole. Tunch was loved. Hundreds of people grieve with you, yet you have to endure it by yourself. Oh my god, what a sad fucking day.
111.
TheOtherWA
Don’t even think of apologizing! You’ve lost a member of your family, cry as long as you need to. We’re here to read and help any way we can.
112.
PsiFighter37
We had a toast to him here at Pike Brewery. RIP Tunch
113.
ArchTeryx
Aaaaand people are complaining about ME rushing to judgement. Sheesh. Least I wasn’t dropping Cluster F bombs, and actually agreed with what folks were saying.
114.
khead
Ok, so I just read the earlier thread. Been out and missed it. I am so sorry for your loss John.
There is no need to apologize. Keep posting whatever the damn hell you want, and we’ll read it and try to know just what he meant to you, even if we can’t scratch the surface.
We will gladly bear witness, and Tunch will not be forgotten.
117.
thalarctos
I am so, so very sorry, John.
118.
some_guy
John – You don’t know me, but I’ve been a dedicated BJ reader for the past 3-4 years, and I knew that you loved Tunch as much as parents love their kids, so I was gutted to read your posts tonight about Tunch being killed. I have no words. It’s just one of those sad fucking things that the world throws at us, for no apparent reason, that we’re all supposed to just “deal with.” And it SUCKS. I’m in tears as I post this, but I know that your world has been rocked even worse. I just hope the fond memories you have of your big fat white ball of fluff carry you through the next few months. Take care and know that we’re out here feeling for you…
I just turned on the computer and saw the news. I am so, so sorry. I’ve been there more than once. There is no way to describe the pain. It gets better, but it takes a long time. For what it’s worth, we care.
@SIA: Thanks, I think you just helped me understand why I cannot leave the site for more than a few minutes at a time.
122.
MikeInSewickley
If anyone says this isn’t like losing a member of the family, tell them to go to Hell in as many words as are needed.
I can’t go to sleep without reading all the posts, all the sympathy, all the caring for you and your loss.
Dammit, I crying again… and you cry your head off but hug the piglets as if there is no tomorrow.
123.
BD of MN
I’m looking over at the framed memorial for our best dog ever, Bruno, who passed over a year ago, shedding a couple of tears for Tunch and for you, too, John.
124.
johio
What we need is a good oldfadhioned Irish wake, with stories to make us laugh as we cry. One of my favorites is John trying to get back at Tunch for waking him up in the night. If I remember right, John kept walking by Tunch snd poking him during his daytime nap? Right, because that would show Tunch who was boss, right?
Love to John and Tunch. Hugs to Lily and Rosy
125.
vheidi
So very sorry, John. Like Omnes, I still tear up about Fred and Reddy. Tunch was a wonder.
126.
InternetDragons
Maudlin?
Hardly. Tunch is worth crying over.
And he knew it. He’d be pissed if you did anything less.
We’re here to hang out with you tonight, John., as long as you want us. We’re here for you and for him.
You take the time you need, and don’t even try to pretend that this isn’t the time for tears.
127.
Suffern ACE
I’m really too much in shock to say much. I’m very sorry that all this happened at once. That’s all I can add right now.
128.
phred
We’re having an (extra sad) extra martini tonight in memory of the Tunchinator. Please don’t hesitate to express yourself however and whenever you feel that you can.
Much love has been sent your way John – please know that.
129.
Emdee
Cole, I hope you can take some small comfort in the fact that while no one can feel Tunch’s loss more than you, he was more than just your best friend. He was a goddamn hero and don’t you ever forget it.
His “antics,” which were really just Tunch being Tunch, and your sharing them with all of us, generated tens of thousands of dollars in donations, first for Charlie’s Angels and now for MARC. Tha, without question, means Tunch saved thousands of kitties and doggies and got them to good, loving homes where they could have the same joyful life he did.
There are more than good memories. There are good works, and hundreds and hundreds of pets and humans who never would have found each other without Tunch leading you to share him with all of us.
Tunch was a goddamn hero and anyone who spent any time here will always remember and honor him.
(why is my Kleenex box suddenly empty? Oh, right…)
130.
luzeelu
Oh god. I just arrived home to read this devastating news.
I am so very, very sorry, John.
131.
CommishTheFirst
Let it hang out – love is nothing to be ashamed of. We’re here with and for you.
132.
bill c
Condolences John. Such a sudden tragedy…
133.
The Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion
Mr. Cole. Let the tears come for as long and as often as they want. If there’s anything on God’s green earth I can claim to be an expert in, it’s the art of surviving grief. Cry for as long and as often as you feel like, then do it some more when the feeling sneaks up and blindsides you about a thousand times after you think you’ve gotten over it. The only way out is through. But it does get better, and there will come a time when you’re bored with grieving. That’s how you know it’s starting to heal. At some point after that, you realize that the smile you get when you think about him is bigger than the hurt. That’s when you know you’re better. And that’s the prize at the end of this particular shitty grey-hued rainbow. Eventually, you get to go on loving him, and having that love bring you more joy than pain. He deserves that, and so do you. But this is how you get there. Go ahead and cry, dawg.
134.
The Reverend Lowdown
Raising a glass to celebrate the life of a cat who inspired me to eventually adopt three rescue cats. Lost one to illness last Summer and it’s still sad as hell to think about, especially reading these obits. It gets a little better, but what can you do. I plan to keep loving these wonderful little creatures that come into my life. Let it all out, brother. We’re grieving along with you. Take care, John Cole
135.
SIA
@TaMara (BHF): My heart chakra has fucking crashed. But so many kind people. It is good to see you here TaMara.
136.
eclare
I’m so sorry. My 80 year old dad still will not talk about the best cat we ever had who was killed by a dog. It hurts too much. Damn. RIP Tunch. I can’t believe it.
137.
Scott Alloway
No, John. You can cry. Many of us cry with you. I am a 63-year-old man who has cried over many pets. They are/have been special friends and, at times, the pain has been severe. I don’t know the extent of your pain, but for me, it is a hurt that lasts a long time. Once upon a time i rescued a bird knocked from its nest. Fed it through a straw for a month and released it. For months it came back on calling its name (Sparks) and played with me. On New Years Day, 2005, I saw a hawk capture and kill Sparks. Painful as it was (and still is), I treasure the time I had with that little bird. So, John. Tunch will be with you for a long time. It will rock you at times but that will be assuaged by the good memories. Stay strong, my friend. It will get better.
138.
p.a.
Don’t apologize, and don’t withdraw. If there’s no one around at home, keep posting even if it’s just to say how shitty you feel. I lost one parent slowly, one quickly. If there’s a long illness there is time to come to terms, even though you don’t want to see the person suffer. But the other way, like today, for the survivor, is a kick in the guts. Miserable is normal. The best advice I can give (and I’ll admit I talk a better game than I play) is: don’t dwell on your memories of today if at all possible. Thinking of all the good times will hurt like hell now when the wound is new, but long term you don’t want today to be the first memory of Tunch that pops into your head.
I’m a sometime commenter who doesn’t bring much to the table, so this may be presumptuous but I hope all the lurkers who stepped up today to pay their respects and comfort John stick around and continue checking in. We can always use more good people.
139.
tBone
Post your ass off if it makes you feel better. Anybody who doesn’t like it can GTFO.
It will take a long time. Getting “cheered up” is not going to happen for quite a while. It’s horrible, but you just have to go through it and, besides, he earned your grief. Thank god you have Lilly there.
Cole, presumably you can tell through wordpress I really am a longtime lurker/infrequent commenter. I’d consider shutting down blogging for a bit. Take a bit of time to come to deal with the grief. Best of luck and sincere condolences.
Sympathies. Remember to celebrate the life of Tunch as you work through the pain of his loss. You had him long enough to touch so many lives – yours and his the most.
148.
Marcelo
My cat Oedipus is howling at the window, looking at me with sad eyes. He just keeps howling and howling, this terrible sad howl. He’s totally healthy, he gets a little howly when it gets late is all. But tonight I feel like he’s crying with me.
And yes Tunch was a goddamn hero. And so are you, Cole. Keep posting as much as you want, turn the entire blog into a Tunch shrine if you feel like it, I’ll gladly come back to it every day to pay my respects..
149.
kurt welshinger
i am so so sorry. i have never commented on BJ before, but i had to tonight. i feel so sad for your loss, john. nothing will replace him i’m sure. i hope he is at peace wherever he is. i’ll be sitting here crying. -kurt
150.
Lara
I am just a lurker too, but I cannot tell you how sorry I am. I have enjoyed your stories of your pets for years now, and Tunch was always my favorite.
151.
maven
I just read this and cannot believe it.
Bless your kind heart John Cole.
152.
CatHairEverywhere
No apology needed. Every time I think about it, I tear up again, and he wasn’t even my kittyboy. I am so terribly sorry. I have lost beloved pets, and it is awful, but to lose one in this way is even worse.
153.
gopher2b
John, I’m so sorry. This is so awful and sad. You were are a great friend of animals and he was lucky to have you for as long as he did. Do whatever you need need to do to grieve, you both deserve it.
Shit, I’m crying; you certainly get to.
154.
Sandia Blanca
At times like this, it can help to listen to the blues. I recommend some Stevie Ray.
155.
Librarian
@am: Yes, I was thinking the same thing. Maybe the thing to do, John, is to shut the computer off and get away from this blog for a while, if you think it would help. Let the other FPers take care of things.
156.
beabea
I feel you John. My cat Tom gathered flowers in the backyard and brought them to the front door as gifts. He was killed by dogs this past February 26, just about seven years to the day he and his stray buddies first appeared at my house. Just a few weeks ago, the banana trees started dropping their petals and when I saw them, realizing they would stay where they are because there’s no more Tom to bring them to the door, I just started crying uncontrollably. But then I was okay, and you will be too. I think of Tom every day and still cry from time to time, but instead of tears of grief, they’ve become more a reminder of how much I loved Tom and how precious life is, and a motivation to help the people and animals who are here and need help. And that seems to help me.
You will find the thing that helps you too, as impossible as that may seem right now. But for now, don’t even worry about it, just do what you need to do. There are people the world over for whom Tunch was almost like their own pet, and we grieve with you, and are keeping you in our thoughts.
157.
askew
I am so sorry for your loss John. You should take all the time you need to mourn. So, so sad.
I am also feeling bad for your sister. She must feel awful.
158.
janeform
John, I’m so sorry. You gave Tunch so much love and such a good life. And you’ve helped so many animals. Think about that as you grieve. My heart goes out to you.
159.
Gemina13
When I had to put Lucky to sleep, I called the SO. I felt like I was about to murder my own Best Cat in the World – the beautiful little guy I’d found on an LA freeway, suffering from a perforated intestine from swallowing string, for God’s sake. And my SO told me, “Lucky’s had nine wonderful years with you. That’s nine more than he would have had without you.”
John, Tunch had you for 12 years. He was loved, cared for, fed, petted, showered with attention – you were the center of his world. You went out looking for him when he got out. You took as many pictures of him as most people do of their kids. As long as most of us here live, we will remember that fluffy cat you tried to make us think was really a flesh-and-blood Garfield. In short, you gave him a damn good life.
Don’t be upset because you’re grieving. You grieve when you love, and you’ve lost. Those are honest tears. Tunch has earned every single one of them. Eventually, you’re going to think of Tunch and smile, because the memory is a joyful one – and Tunch has earned all of the happy ones too. It’s part of the process. You just have to get through one before you reach the other.
I think my favorite Tunch story was (hopefully I’m remembering it right) when John kept losing his wallet – then he discovered that Tunch was knocking it off the table so Rosie could steal it away and hide it! That was awesome!
I cried like a baby tonight, and my husband kept trying to hold me but I couldn’t relax into it at all.
Please let your loved ones comfort you, John.
163.
DPS
This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry.
164.
Ed in NJ
Shit, I still get choked up almost daily, and my dog died 9 months ago. Cry as much as you need to.
165.
Narcissus
You’ll grieve as long as you need to — there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.
166.
jamfan
Longtime lurker – around eight years, if not more. In between heated election seasons, the only political blogs I read are the GOS recommended diaries list and Balloon Juice. And I can’t stop crying either. I’ve had a Tunch or two in my life, and lost them, and my heart is breaking for you.
167.
Eljai
@Emdee: What Emdee said. Postings about Tunch always made my heart smile.
168.
Betty Cracker
@Emdee: Great comment. Tunch is a hero. So is John. No telling how many animals they’ve saved.
@Sarah Proud and Tall: Hahah, I was thinking of this post too when I mentioned his tower up thread. How his lack of use of it made it all the more his. Fucking Tunch.
171.
Nikolita
Everyone else has said it already, but I’m so sorry for your loss John. I’m a long-time reader and I’m sitting here just trying to wrap my head around Tunch being gone, and it won’t quite compute.
Take as long as you need to grieve; we will shed tears with you.
@Eljai: My favourite posts on this blog have always been Tunch-related posts.
172.
Violet
I’m so sorry John. So sorry. Grief is its own world. Navigate it as you need to. There are not rules for that.
Here’s the weird thing. I’ve had some horrible shit happen in my life. But I have never wanted a time machine more than tonight. Just to go back a few hours and change this.
I love you John Cole.
174.
SIA
Here’s the link for MARC. I donated in memorium for Lord Tunch and General Stuck. Godspeed, dear boys.
I just found out after having been out all night. This fucking sucks. This fucking sucks all the way to fucking hell.
176.
'Niques
We’re crying with you tonite. Tragic.
177.
Anya
I still cannot believe Tunch is gone. His lordship was a huge part of this blog. It’s hard to cope with his loss:~(
RIP, General Stuck and Tunch!
178.
pukebot
I’ve been through it and all I can tell you for sure is that time heals all wounds. But I don’t know how you are going to get from here to there. As mainly a BJ lurker I will say Tunch was part of my life. I’m so so sorry.
179.
Lexiltucky
Another longtime lurker.
Tunch was the face of the blog and your pictures and stories made him special to all of us. I’m so sorry for your loss.
RIP Tunch and peace and comfort to you, John.
180.
Swishalicious
infrequent commenter but long-time reader here…
just wanted to send my condolences, and those of a bunch of my friends here in the senate, to John. tunch’s benevolent punem will always adorn many of the America’s totebags. i’m so, so sorry for your loss, i cannot imagine the trauma and pain you’re going through.
181.
taylormattd
<3
182.
dance around in your bones
Oh John….you lost your cat in a sudden and violent way. Shit, cry your eyes out as long as you need to.
I remember when we lost a dog who had been shot in the paw, operated on at great expense and then just disappeared once she healed up (we think she was possibly shot again – I think she’d been dancing around some farmer’s chicken coop and she did kind of look like a coyote).
We sat on the couch and cried for weeks. I mean, night after night after night. Just never knowing what happened to her and all the futile searches and people calling who thought they’d seen her but it wasn’t her and it was just agony.
I also had a little black chihuahua mix who thought he was as big a dog as any other and had a heart like a champion who ran out in the street one day chasing after a bicyclist and was promptly run over. A friend of mine who was visiting at the time said she’d never seen me cry like I was crying then. Just total meltdown sobbing with snot running down my face.
I hated seeing that little guy’s crushed body, but in a way it was better than never knowing what happened, you know?
Oh hell, it always hurts like crazy, so just cry and get it out. It may take a long time, but he was your buddy for so long….my heart bleeds for you.
183.
tatateeta
I’m so sorry. I’m thinking of my cat, Judge Dee, the best cat I ever met. Tunch reminded me a lot of Dee Dee. My daughter and I and our long time vet, Dr. Wong, had a ceremony for Judge Dee and read from “My cat, Jeoffry” by Christopher Smart. Dr. Wong ordered a plaque for DeeDee with a line from the poem, “for he loved the sun and the sun loved him”. I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you.
John
Grieve in whatever way you need. None of us can do a lot to help but most of us will do what we can. You made Tunch a little bit our cat as well. I for one thank you for that. I like cats but am allergic. I can be around them for short periods of time but can’t have one as a pet. So a long distance pet works for me. I enjoyed him and the fact that he found you. But this is your loss, not mine. Most of us understand how you are feeling tonight. My take on losing loved ones is that it gets easier to live with as time goes on. That’s the only solace that I can offer. It gets easier, we move on. We don’t forget, but we began to understand how to live with the pain.
185.
Punchy
Sorry for your loss John.
186.
JWR
Very sorry to hear of your loss, John. I lost Mr. Bert, a huge white and brown furball of a cat after 14 years together, and then Billy Budd, a grey Tabby, who adopted both Bert and me when she was 12, and stuck around for the next 8 years. (Yep, she was 21!)
But It hurts. It hurts just to type this. But one thing I can say that might possibly ease your pain just a wee bit, is that just as Bert and Billy are still with me, so, to, is Tunch still, and always will be, with you. It’s what I call our own little Heaven, and it’s a good place.
187.
celiadexter
I don’t often comment on BJ, but had to let you know how sorry I am. Tunch was truly a good cat. I wish you the best.
188.
Laura C
John, I’m so sorry. No words, really.
189.
KRK
So sorry, John. Dammit. Loved that behemoth of a cat. Grieve away, we’re right there with you.
190.
efroh
I’m so sorry, JC. My heart aches for you and Tunch.
191.
Evelyn
Oh my God, Cole, so so sorry for your loss. I’ve been having a shit week and came to balloon-juice tonight for a laugh, and now can’t stop crying. What an amazing cat, what a horrible loss. I wish I could give you a hug and drink whiskey with you. Just know that he sincerely affected a lot of our lives and will be missed.
192.
PIGL
@Evelyn: this. John, I am very, very sorry for this loss.
193.
cckids
I know its been said, but do what you need to to grieve, John. Tunch was a huge part of your life. You won’t “get over” losing him, you will just learn to live a different life. Hold onto the girls, be kind to yourself.
Like so many of us, I’m sitting here tonight crying about a lovely cat I never met. Tunch always reminded me of my big guy, Gryff, just a huge, fluffy loverboy. I’m hugging all my furry kids tonight & grieving too. I hope you can find some peace.
Know that you’re loved & admired. I just sent some $ MARC’s way; hopefully they will be inundated in Tunch’s memory.
194.
EmanG
We’ve never talked, posted a few times, but come here every day to find some balance. So, so sorry at your sudden loss. Tunch’s love made you unafraid to admit that you love and the world is a better place for it. Breathe deep, ride it out, embrace and internalize the love Tunch helped you feel. Then spread it out into the world, much as Tunch’s essence is doing already. Getchmis olsun as the Turks say…
195.
airmail
I’m a regular lurker. When I read about Tunch it knocked the breathe out me. I know how much he meant to you. My deepest condolences.
196.
jl
So very sorry to hear the horrible news. My condolences. I will miss Tunch, the Tuncpix, the TunchTales, the TunchNip orgies.
Rest in Peace, Tunch! I will miss you.
If its any consolation John, you were generous to let us all enjoy a bit of Tunch while he was here on earth. My thoughts are with you.
197.
Yang Guang
Long time listener, first time caller. I am profoundly sorry for your loss, I know the pain is so real when a thing like this happens. You’re not maudlin at all. I’m crying and I never had him on my lap. My name in Chinese means “Sunshine” and was given to me by my students. Try to remember him prancing in the sun where you now have him, and let yourself grieve. Peace be with you.
Yang Guang
198.
Red Apple Smokes
I would like to join the community in extending my condolences to you. I’m basically a lurker,(commented once or twice under a different handle) but this place helps restore whatever faith I have in humanity at least once a day. I don’t really have anything else to say, other than you’ll be in my thoughts.
199.
Beckya57
I can’t get into MARC right now. I hope that’s because they’re being flooded with donations from all of us. Will try again tomorrow.
200.
Beckya57
Also you should know that Tunch has been memorialized on Tbogg’s website.
201.
CatHairEverywhere
I want to add that earlier when I said the stories about Tunch always reminded me of my imperious, but cuddly, Onyx, I meant it in a good way. Tunch always seemed like Onyx in that he was able to get you to serve him, but he was also a big, sweet, cuddly baby. He was such a cool cat, and I loved your stories about him. My husband and I laughed out loud at the picture of the tower action shot. Again, I am so, so sorry.
202.
etherealfire
Wow. This has just been a God-Awful, truly horrid day and I’m just so sorry John, so much more than I can ever say. You need to cry – and you need to know that you and Tunch are so loved by this community. Nothing will be able to take away the pain you are feeling right now, you just have to get through it. But please know that you and your family and your critters are loved, take heart in the fact that your sweet kitty is free from suffering and that you will get through this and you will not be alone as you do so. This is probably the 3rd post I ever made here but I had to delurk and give you a great big virtual hug and kiss and to add my condolences and remind you that you are very, very loved.
203.
John Smallberries
I’ve had a buch of cats in my 56 years of life, and Ive cried when each and every one of them died. It takes time and never really goes away. but it gets a little easier each and every day.
204.
Cassidy
Wow, this sucks. Been out with friends and just saw all this. I’m sorry for your loss, man.
205.
Scamp Dog
I’ll add my condolences to the list. These creatures touch our hearts, but their lives are shorter than ours, and they face dangers we don’t, though we don’t often think of that.
I miss that cat, even though he was only pixels on a screen to me, so you will naturally miss him so much more. RIP, Tunch.
206.
redoubt
delurking to offer condolences. sorry.
207.
Gex
It is not too maudlin. Grief like this is the cost of admission to have the love and joy that these furry guys bring us. I have lost Kate and four beloved pets, and I’ve learned to take some comfort in knowing that as much as it absolutely sucks to the core, I wouldn’t have it any other way if it meant not knowing and loving them.
Let yourself feel it and don’t feel bad about it. You feel bad enough as it is.
208.
Rob Lll
I just went on my computer to check out my favorite blogs and…oh God. I can’t believe this. I’ve lost animal companions before, but never like this.I can’t imagine the pain you must be in right now, after losing your beloved and loving Tunch in such a sudden, brutal way.
I’m shocked, saddened, utterly heartsick. I’m so sorry, John. Cry all you want and know that many people have you in their thoughts and prayers right now.
209.
lojasmo
Sorry, john.
You’re experiencing mourning now, not grief. Grief is a longer process.
Mourning is crying and all that. Both are okay.
Jason
210.
Highway Rob
I came home to this news a couple of hours ago, and I still don’t know what to say. Strength, John, however and wherever you can find it. Deepest condolences.
211.
chanster
So sorry about your beloved Tunch – he was a great cat.
212.
Wyliecoat
Just found out as I am in India. So sorry to hear about Tunch. My dog had an emergency while I was here and I was lucky that she was being cared for by someone who had the sense to take her to see a doctor right away when she became ill.
Do you know we got our cutie pie maltipoo Korra only because Tunch’s cuteness wore down all my concerns about pet ownership? I owe him.
213.
Wrye
John, we’re here for you all night, if you want. But sleep if you can.
I will just add, there is no right or wrong way to grieve; try to eat something, try to get some sleep, try to not be alone. Take a break from reminders – which could be the blog, of course, but also maybe put off commitments for a little while, maybe take a little trip to get away. Time helps too, surely but very very slowly.
214.
katie5
This is so horrible. I am so sad for you, John. Just know that so many of us are grieving with you.
The cost of deeply loving anyone is the sure knowledge that they might be taken from us at any moment, and whether we have had a period of preparation for their absence from our lives or whether they are gone in an unexpected moment, the agony is the same.
It’s of no solace, but is seems the depth of our grief is proportional to the joy we felt in their presence.
My most heartfelt condolences for your loss, but know that you have both been well-loved and have made the time here on earth better and richer in a million small ways.
We lost our dog to a doberman attack, he put himself between my sister and them. A poodle.
Am so sorry, and am sure some may feel this inappropriate, but my own first maudlin reaction was to do what I did at the loss of another friend and go to youtube and play The Door’s The End.
Not much else to do but be lost in the dark pit of despondency.
Sweet, beautiful Tunchie. Nothing we can say will take away the grief, Cole. But know that he is loved and missed by so many.
222.
AndoChronic
I pray that peace and serenity can find you right now.
223.
JustSomeChick
Oh John, there’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said, but I am just so damn sorry. My husband asked me what was wrong, and I could hardly stop crying long enough to explain. A cat I’ve never seen with an owner I’ve never met and and I’m a wreck.
My experience with that type of bond, like the one I had with my Shepherd, made me believe the pain would never end. It haunted me for years. And even though a replacement is unthinkable right now (not to mention impossible, ever), getting another white Shepherd last year (10 years down the line) has finally let me lay the pain and guilt over having to put down Spirit (our 1st shepherd) to rest.
Our new baby looks similar (of course, same coloring and breed) which brings back wonderful memories of my original sweet girl, but the differences in personality and quirks let me enjoy her for herself. My husband and I have actually found it very healing to compare and contrast our two much loved but very different children. They both carved out their very own individual places in our hearts.
Of course, you’ll do what’s best for you, but my biggest regret is waiting 10 years to decide I wouldn’t be disrespecting Spirit’s memory or trying to replace her by getting another Shepherd. Instead, I’ve honored that memory by sharing my life with another dog of a breed I know from experience is unbelievably loyal with so much heart.
So, grieve, and know that so many of us grieve with you. When you are ready, fill the Tunch-shaped hole in your heart with another larger than life furry master.
224.
VividBlueDotty
So many loving and sympathetic thoughts are already being sent your way, and yet I will add my condolences. Tunch will be missed.
Woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible foreboding.
Now I know why.
(big hug for John)
Tommy.
228.
Meg
I have lots of German friends and they are all big softy.
It is totally ok to grieve, especially for this wonderful little guy.
Cry and hold your doggies tight. The emotion needs to be released.
You will find your strength soon enough.
229.
Clockwork Buddha
Tunch had a big life through you. He had a home in you and, in turn, here. As you share, so can all who will miss him as they are knew him. It’s a kindness you offer us – and a generous one at that.
No need to apologize for grief.
230.
Antonius
Morning and we’re still with you, man.
231.
TFinSF
I don’t participate much here, but I am so sorry for your loss.
232.
AnnieB
I am so sad for your loss. He was as fine a friend as they come. He was also my favorite part of your blog. His fabulous catness came through in all your stories and pictures.
233.
lou
I’m a long-time lurker and infrequent commenter. Go ahead and cry. Real men do it.
I’m crying with you because you made Tunch such a part of all our lives. When my husband I lost our cat Moo last year — the first pet we both owned in our adult lives — we were pretty inconsolable for months. Tunch was your friend and companion for years and he was so quintessential cat.
John, I’m very sorry. The last cat I owned was my mom’s and I had to give her up to be put down. 20 years ago. It’s 20 years ago! I shouldn’t be grieving! But she was my favorite cat. All my stories are about that cat, how she knew when her mom was going to the hospital and hid in a corner, or how she yowled for me to pick her up and rock her when I was heading out the door. Or how she loved her ritual of playing mouses several times a day.
We really do believe that photos capture the soul. How many photos have I seen here of Tunch, Lily, Zsa-Zsa and others? How many of those photos made me want to reach out and give a chin-scritcht, or a pat. How many of those photos remind me of good times with pets, dogs and cats and even birds, that I have come across and bonded with?
I have no other words. I’m just so sorry.
235.
Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.
God, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry, John.
236.
p
dear john —
tunch was dearly loved by you, his faithful friend and loyal servant, adored by thousands, and an advocate for his fellow furry friends. in his last moments he was where he wanted to be, doing what he wanted to do (and probably more pissed than afraid), a free man.
you were both blessed, as we were by your stories of and heart for him.
(if there’s and afterlife, i hope to be greeted by the pack and pride of animals i’ve lost).
tunch had a huge (no pun intended) place in many hearts.
r.i.p., tunch cole.
Genine
* sits with you in silence *
iocaste
just a lurker – but i am so, so sorry.
FoxinSocks
No, no, you should be crying.
Again, I’m so sorry. (gives you a hug)
BerkeleyMom
I am so very, very sorry. Awful. There’s just nothing else to say. I think you should just let yourself go and cry your eyes out.
scav
He was floofy.
Omnes Omnibus
Maybe playing with the girls will help. Maybe not. It might be worth a try. Shitty day.
phoebes-in-santa fe
Cole, you loved Tunch and he knew it and returned your love, many times over. I have two cats and have always considered Tunch and Kevin Drum’s two large cats as part of my “cat family”. I feel so sorry for you, tonight, and donating to MARC helped me a bit.
Please cry and mourn as much as you need to. There’s no “expected time” for mourning a loved family member as Tunch was to you,
Mary G
If I knew anything I said would make you feel better, I’d say it, but there is nothing. You just have to get through it. It isn’t easy. It will take a long time. Tunch was worth it.
Antonius
In memoriam, for the next month I’m changing my Facbook photo to FEED. RIP, Tunch. Best to you John. I’m sorry.
kwAwk
It’s okay Cole. He was in your life for 12 years. None of us expect you to finish grieving in a few hours.
Soonergrunt
@Genine: this
Kitty
You just do what you have to do, for as long as you have to do it. We’ll be here!
Sister Inspired Revolver of Freedom
Please take care. You and Tunch are in my thoughts and prayers. Blessed Be.
anadromy
I’m not even much of a cat person, but I loved your stories about Tunch and most of all I loved how much you loved him. It was genuine and deep and very touching. When I read the news today, the wind was knocked out of me. I’m very sorry for your loss, John.
Johannes
Oh, John. It’s not much, I know, but we’re empathizing with you tonight in our house. You’re a good guy, and Tunch was lucky to have you. And vice-versa.
Angela
Of course you are going to cry. Tunch is worth the tears. Grief sucks, German or not.
Bobby Thomson
No such thing, John. Grief is different for everyone, but it always sucks.
Helen
Please don’t apologize. We can always leave if we feel it’s too maudlin. We are here because we want to be here.
What Genine said.
Quinerly
Beyond words
Darcy
We love you. Through him, we came together. please grieve.
Linda
It’s OK. You will be in grief for awhile. Tunch seemed like a great guy and a good companion, and of course you miss him. We understand.
Heather
Never before commented, reading for years. I’ve been in tears for the last 30 minutes since reading the news. He was such a special pet, but it was your bond with him that we all felt. You expressed so often the quotidian joy that those of us lucky enough to have great pets get to enjoy. You were lucky to have him, just as he was lucky to have you.
Desert Rat
Hang in there, big guy. I lost one of my cats a few months ago. It’s tough.
Hug Lily and Rosie tight, hang in there, and be with people.
sgrAstar
Cole, you taught us all to love that big fat cat of yours- he was sensational! Like many BJers, I’ve made a donation to MARC in his honor. <3
Omnes Omnibus
I occasionally still cry over a dog who died in 1985.
SuperHrefna
Can you get any of your family or friends to come and sit with you? It might help not to be alone when there is such a big Tunch shaped hole in your life. I really feel for you, I know how much this hurts and there is no easy way out of it. Yes, Tunch was a cat, but love is love and your loss is a real and terrible one.
Angela
@Helen: I’ll make a forth in that sitting with in silence.
La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes)
That’s the problem with being an internet community. We can’t come over and sit with you, which is what we do in the South when someone has a loss like this.
Don’t go thru it alone if you can help it.
jenn
I have 2 disparate recommendations – dive right in to the grief, maybe sort through your stack of Tunch pics, and write a letter to Tunch, or perhaps snuggle on the couch with your canine furballs and have a movie marathon. I’ve done both when working my way through grief, and both have been useful in their ways. Hugs to you!
MaryRC
Sometimes all you can do is cry. We understand.
Laertes
Witnessed, brother. That was a special cat, and you made him a part of all of our lives. We’re right there with you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
TaMara (BHF)
If writing to us helps you grieve, you write, I’ll read.
Tunch may have been floofy, but he left a couch size dent in my heart, too.
RedKitten
You cry as much as you need to. He was your best friend for 12 years, of COURSE you’re going to cry over him and mourn him deeply. I wish we could take your pain away. Give Lily lots of hugs…it’ll help.
YellowJournalism
Been doing the mega-embarrassing baby talk with my dog every chance I get tonight.
Can’t help but keep saying that my heart goes out to you, John.
Paddy
Sigh. If I was there I’d punch you in the shoulder and make you tell me all sorts of mushy stories about him. I lost my buddy of 20+ years in my college days, went to bed for 3 straight days, sobbing and keeling. You do what you have to, then when you get up, you know that he loved you, you loved him and that’s all that fucking matters.
ArchTeryx
In very late (and regretting it) but damn it, I’m sorry. :-( That’s about the worst way to lose a pet – and I’d be really damned tempted to extract a pound of flesh from that dog’s owner, even if she IS a sibling.
auntie beak
it’ll hurt for a long while. that’s good. that means you loved him and miss him. hell, i’m gonna miss him and i never met him. deepest sympathy.
Honus
Sorry, John.
Karen in GA (who really needs a better name)
No words. Just tears. Fuck.
Anya
John, this is a very shocking and devastating lose. Give yourself time to grief. Once again, so sorry for your lose!
Sarah, Proud and Tall
It hurts like a bastard because there was so much love there, Cole.
We’re all thinking of you and, as much as we can, we share in your grief.
I’m off to give my little doggy a hug.
Joey Maloney
John, I’m so very sorry.
melissaD
I have been crying all night,silly me, for a boy I never petted, but he was so lovely in looks and we were all knowing that you were spoofing on his ‘terribleness’ as his lovely attitude was pretty clear. I cannot imagine your grief.
Spaghetti Lee
John, you take as much time as you need. We’re all here for you.
Nina-the-first
Here to bear witness to so much that has happened today.
AliceBlue
No apology necessary John. You’ve lost a much loved family member; you’re entitled to your grief.
Mr Stagger Lee
If it comforts you, There is a thread at the GOS and the people send their condolences plus the request to donate from MARC in memory of Tunch. Good people mourning, the loss not just a pet a companion that was a comfort to John.
Lawrence
So sorry. I have lost cats to old age and sickness, but never like this.
Keith
You’re a bigger man than me; I would have insisted on that dog being put down if I wasn’t able to do it with my own bare hands.
ChristianPinko
Take care of yourself.
Emma
Allow the grief. It’s important to grieve. But remember to celebrate Tunch’s life too. Think of the good times, even if they bring more grief. After a while you’ll find the joy in the memories.
Honus
@La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes): Yes, I wish I could cook something and bring it to you. And some beer.
Valdivia
just go with the grief John. we are all crying with you and even if at a distance present in our way missing him.
Betty Cracker
I’m sure I’m not the only one here who never met Tunch and yet still feels stunned and incredibly saddened at his passing — like we’ve lost one of our own. That’s because through your pictures and stories, you let us all see what a sweet, special guy he was. Thank you for sharing Tunch with us.
ArchTeryx
@Keith: Amen. That dog killed a family pet. Getting put down would be the KINDEST thing, but the fault ultimately is with the owner, not the dog.
Spaghetti Lee
And, Suzanne alluded to this in another thread, but, don’t be alone if you can’t stand it, even if it’s just calling. Call your parents, or your siblings, or your college buddies or army buddies or fraternity brothers. They’ll listen too.
Emerald
You’re doing exactly the right thing: revel, wallow, smother yourself in active grief. Do it as long as you need to do it. Share it with us. We need it too.
I too had a Best Cat in the World. I’ve had other cats since her and I’ve loved them. I love my current Emerald kitteh completely, and she adores me. But there will never be another Belle, who had an unconquerable personality and who completely loved me.
I look back on her now, after 12 years, and I’m so glad I had her in my life. I rescued her at age 5, and she lived with me another 15 years, so she was 20, at least. At the end she faded hard, and sat out under a bush in the front yard for weeks. During the last week I sat with her, and carried her up the few steps so she could go in an drink a little and eat (she wanted to go in to do that). I could tell she knew what I was doing, and that she appreciated it.
And I look back on that and am so thankful I did it.
You have all of these wonderful memories of Tunch right here on this blog (and so do we), and after awhile you’ll be so glad you have them. You’ll always appreciate him, and eventually your memories will stop hurting and turn to joy, just to have had him in your life at all, and to have loved him as you did.
And you know he knew it. And that’s why we have pets. They’re more than worth it, to both sides, even with the grief. It all turns to joy eventually.
mohmlet
I’ve been lurking here for years now, years during which I lost two of my three cats, including my own personal Tunch. She looked like a small, female version of him. Same markings, same ridiculously smug and adorable face. Somehow, when I lost her, just knowing that her big male twin was out there helped.
Like so many here, I’ve donated to MARC in his memory. Having been through it twice recently, I wish I could tell you some magic way to make it stop hurting, but I can’t. I’m going to go find my remaining cat and hug her now.
Leslie
I’m so, so sorry. Take all the time you need to grieve; my pets are part of my family too, and the longer they’re with us the harder it is to lose them. I gave MARC some money in Tunch’s honor.
gbear
Being 3/4 German myself, I know that once I start crying, there’s always about 20 years worth of other stuff that gets cried about at the same time. Please let yourself grieve as long and hard as you need.
Elizabelle
Not maudlin at all. And if it makes you feel better, please post away all night.
You have a large audience of Tunch and pet admirers. Maybe more than you knew!
I would love to see a pic of Tunch with dishwasher soap suds on his face.
Besides, there’s only so many ways we can say “fuck George Zimmerman.”
ms badger
De-lurking to say how very sorry I am. Tunch’s passing was brutal and sudden and we mourn with you in shocked silence. The love you shared in telling his stories and about the additions of Lily and Rosie to your life were a joy to read. Your love led to our devotion and now our sorrow. And we will be here tomorrow and the day after than and the day after that, because that’s what family does.
Joseph Nobles
RIP, Tunch.
Frank
Never too maudlin, you can’t be when you lose a friend.
And, despite the jokes, cats do know.
Omnes Omnibus
@gbear: The only other option is violating Belgian neutrality.
chopper
fuck this day. just straight-up fuck it.
hoppipolla
was away from the nets most of the day and just saw the news. so, so sorry, JC. thanks for letting us all get to know Tunch, though now a lot of folks are feeling gut-punched about a cat they never even met IRL.
again, so sorry.
rammalamadingdong
My Pookie died in 2005. I still have her dish with the food in it. I know it is weird, but I loved her and she loved me.
Mike
Oh, the cat tower and his toys and food bowl and his hair still on the furniture. Oh god. John, weep until you pass out, and go hug the dogs. They’ll know something’s different even if they can’t show it properly. Give them loves.
brad
Don’t apologize, please.
You lost a family member, mourn and know you’re not alone.
erlking
Apologize for nothing, man. He earned your grief and it’s right and good for you to show it.
Hell, I’ve been leaking a few into my wineglass this evening and trying to explain to the wife what Tunch meant to ME. From the looks, she may have me committed.
Nazgul35
Nine months later and three years later and I still cry.
Mornington Crescent
There’s nothing to apologize for. My father died a few weeks ago. You just work through it.
Mj_Oregon
I basically lurk here but I’ve always loved the way you talk about your animals, John. Coming here tonight to vicariously share outrage over the Martin verdict I find this sad, sad news instead. And now the tears are just streaming down my face as I sob uncontrollably for you and Tunch. I’m a kitty person and so loved your Tunch stories and photos but sometimes life just sucks big time.
My favorite kitty ever died three months ago after a very short and nasty illness. I’m still raw from that and ever will be. I know what you’re going through – the “if onlys” and the self blame along with such pain it’s almost unendurable. As much as we would like it to be, life is NEVER fair so we have to grab hold of the people and animals we love and appreciate the joy they bring us every day. Some day this gaping, horrible hole in your heart that belongs to Tunch will be filled with loving memories, but tonight and tomorrow and for many days to come, there will be tears. They are his tribute from a loving friend.
Sottos
John – First time commenter, but a follower of your blog since the early days, and a fellow lover of pets to excess. I am very fond of this blog and its inhabitants, both human and not, and am really saddened to hear about Tunch. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling, but my thoughts are with you. Be good to yourself –
condorcet runner up
So very sorry, John. Really, really sorry. No shame in crying.
SuperHrefna
@ArchTeryx: given that the owner was Cole’s sister, don’t you think you could drop this topic? He’s had a terrible night, he’s in shock, why on earth do you think that vilifying his siblings is going to help him get some sleep?
cmorenc
John:
Your vivid accounts of Tunch has made him the beloved pet of all of us here at Balloon Juice, and right now I’m sitting here crying with you. When the day comes someday that my beloved Italian Greyhound passes on, it’s going to be an unimaginably tough time filled with tears of grief.
The day when you take in a pet cat or dog, with all the joy, companionship and love that comes with it, an unavoidable part of the deal is their much shorter lifespan than yours, meaning you’re taking on an inevitable day like this one. You treated Tunch as honorably and well and lovingly as a cat could ever hope for from his human.
MomSense
Sending you a hug, John.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@SuperHrefna: agreed.
gbear
@ArchTeryx: Can you just save this stuff until another day? Perhaps mid-September? You’re judgement is not helpful this evening.
Jewish Steel
For such a paltry investment of food and attention pets stand ready to give unbounded loyalty and unconditional love. That they should die at all seems a great cruelty and proof positive of perverse or non-existent creator.
kc
@Mike:
Awww, geez.
John, I hope you get another kitty (or two) soon. There will never be another Tunch, but I think it will help to have another purry presence in your house.
Ellid
I am so sorry. He was a wonderful cat, and you have every right to grieve for him.
sweaver
The anonymity of the internet lets me type out that I am actually crying, too. I’m not supposed to say that, I’m supposed to buy you a beer and let you cry. But I have always had animals and there is no pain in the world more sharp and painful than their loss. Unless you’re lucky enough to have had that with a human – more rare and usually more complicated. But fuck, why is it that I have felt weirdly loving towards Tunch all the years that I’ve been reading Balloon Juice? I’m sad for you, but the whole thing is so sad. I’m so sorry. So sorry.
Citizen_X
Tunch was awesome, in the best sense of the word.
mdblanche
Jesus, this day. I’m so sorry for you.
spudgun
I still can’t get over this news so I keep checking in for new posts and I end up crying again…I wish I could give you a great big squeezy hug.
You do what you have to do to express your grief, John. Don’t worry about whether or not it’s maudlin. Everyone’s with you.
Once again, so sorry for your loss.
ArchTeryx
Yes, I take the point. Stuff like this just makes me see red: it’s not the first time I’ve seen this happen, and I followed the Tunch story as closely as anyone on here, even if I mostly lurk.
Ripley
Shit. Sorry, Cole.
khead
Holy shit. Tunch? Please tell me no.
Dr. Squid
The verdict was infuriating… and expected. This was not, and I was still crying about it as I put my son to bed 15 minutes ago.
You are NOT being maudlin.
Teddy's Person
Grieve unapologetically. It will hurt until it doesn’t and then hurt some more. I still occasionally am grief stricken for the dog I grew up with, who died … 32 years ago. They get in our hearts and don’t let go.
billgerat
Shit happens. And it’s been a shitty day. I’m so sorry for your loss.
David Hunt
Oh my god. I am so sorry.
MariedeGournay
Just found out. I am so sorry. Tunch was awesome. He reminded me of my wife’s chubby blind cat, Geordie. Everytime I saw Tunch it brought me back to the first years we dated. I’d drive over after work and the little guy was always waiting at the door. Something about those particular kinds of cat just make life so much better.
RIP Tunch.
Mike
@Keith: After reading how he died, my first thought was, I could not be trusted around that dog or its owner at that point. Ugh, all rage and casting blame.
Villago Delenda Est
John, as others have pointed out, everyone deals with a loss like this in their own way.
Know that all of us (well, with apparently at least one exception) stand with you in your mourning of a wonderful friend and companion.
He lives on in all of our memories, as my beloved childhood pets do. My family still talks about our crazy little french poodle, Charlie, who would come running up to you if you snapped a cookie, wanting his cut. Who would not let you sit alone in a chair. Who we used to tease saying “mommy’s home” before my mother drove up…and the little guy KNEW exactly what her car sounded like, and would not react the same way to any other vehicle that might enter the driveway.
You’ll always have your memories of the great floofy cat. He lives on there.
TaMara (BHF)
@SuperHrefna: I don’t mean to pile on, but this. Exactly this.
This is not something that should be commented on or given advice about here. Not unless John asks us specifically for our thoughts on it.
This is a horrible event all around and we are but bystanders in the tragedy. They’ll work it out as a family.
hitchhiker
I just hate that this happened to you. I just do. You can’t be too maudlin — that’s just impossible.
Fuck, damn.
MariedeGournay
Just found out. I am so sorry. Tunch was awesome. He reminded me of my wife’s chubby blind cat, Geordie. Everytime I saw Tunch it brought me back to the first years we dated. I’d drive over after work and the little guy was always waiting at the door. Something about those particular kinds of cat just make life so much better. RIP Tunch
eclare
I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine your loss. Godspeed.
JCT
We’re all there with you, John.
Nothing worse than a sudden death for those left behind- try to focus on the good, there was 12 years of it. Tunch was so lucky to be loved like that.
Strong thoughts to you and your girls.
SG
Not maudlin at all, John. It’s never again for us, too. So I, for one, welcome the chance to visit memories of The Mighty One.
Mike
@Mike in NC: Stop.
Diana
@cmorenc: He was indeed the beloved pet of all of us at Balloon Juice. I remember going to my first Balloon juice meetup, and at a certain point in the evening everyone fell to writing “TUNCH” on the paper supplied to the tables. I think that at that point I was so new to this blog that I had to have it explained to me who the TUNCH was …
anyhow, ever since then I have religiously tried to comment on every TUNCH thread. He was an awesome cat.
take care, and add my condolences to your overwhelming sorrow.
tejanarusa
Another mostly lurker, shocked to see the terrible news on my facebook feed. So, so sorry. I lost a cat in similar fashion, though she was feral, only a little “tamed”, enough to allow me to pet her and feed her, and give her a warm bed to sleep in. Nonetheless, when a neighbor’s dog attacked her…it broke my heart.
But Tunch was your beloved companion, sleeping by your head, with you all the time. I know only a little of what you’re feeling, and can only wish you healing at a time in the future. RIP, Tunch.
WaynersT
Oh fluffy Tunch. What a fucking horrible horrible horrible day.
Hoep you can post some video of him – I think recently you had posted one of him talking non stop.
kdaug
Hang tight, buddy. No words.
SIA
I can’t seem to leave, I’ve read every word of the Stuck post and now the threads and comments for Tunch. I guess it’s my version of sitting with you. Im touched that so many people who read the blog but don’t comment are coming forward to condole. Tunch was loved. Hundreds of people grieve with you, yet you have to endure it by yourself. Oh my god, what a sad fucking day.
TheOtherWA
Don’t even think of apologizing! You’ve lost a member of your family, cry as long as you need to. We’re here to read and help any way we can.
PsiFighter37
We had a toast to him here at Pike Brewery. RIP Tunch
ArchTeryx
Aaaaand people are complaining about ME rushing to judgement. Sheesh. Least I wasn’t dropping Cluster F bombs, and actually agreed with what folks were saying.
khead
Ok, so I just read the earlier thread. Been out and missed it. I am so sorry for your loss John.
Sottos
@Helen: @Helen: Indeed.
Marcelo
There is no need to apologize. Keep posting whatever the damn hell you want, and we’ll read it and try to know just what he meant to you, even if we can’t scratch the surface.
We will gladly bear witness, and Tunch will not be forgotten.
thalarctos
I am so, so very sorry, John.
some_guy
John – You don’t know me, but I’ve been a dedicated BJ reader for the past 3-4 years, and I knew that you loved Tunch as much as parents love their kids, so I was gutted to read your posts tonight about Tunch being killed. I have no words. It’s just one of those sad fucking things that the world throws at us, for no apparent reason, that we’re all supposed to just “deal with.” And it SUCKS. I’m in tears as I post this, but I know that your world has been rocked even worse. I just hope the fond memories you have of your big fat white ball of fluff carry you through the next few months. Take care and know that we’re out here feeling for you…
TaMara (BHF)
@Mike in NC: Not appropriate.
Haydnseek
I just turned on the computer and saw the news. I am so, so sorry. I’ve been there more than once. There is no way to describe the pain. It gets better, but it takes a long time. For what it’s worth, we care.
TaMara (BHF)
@SIA: Thanks, I think you just helped me understand why I cannot leave the site for more than a few minutes at a time.
MikeInSewickley
If anyone says this isn’t like losing a member of the family, tell them to go to Hell in as many words as are needed.
I can’t go to sleep without reading all the posts, all the sympathy, all the caring for you and your loss.
Dammit, I crying again… and you cry your head off but hug the piglets as if there is no tomorrow.
BD of MN
I’m looking over at the framed memorial for our best dog ever, Bruno, who passed over a year ago, shedding a couple of tears for Tunch and for you, too, John.
johio
What we need is a good oldfadhioned Irish wake, with stories to make us laugh as we cry. One of my favorites is John trying to get back at Tunch for waking him up in the night. If I remember right, John kept walking by Tunch snd poking him during his daytime nap? Right, because that would show Tunch who was boss, right?
Love to John and Tunch. Hugs to Lily and Rosy
vheidi
So very sorry, John. Like Omnes, I still tear up about Fred and Reddy. Tunch was a wonder.
InternetDragons
Maudlin?
Hardly. Tunch is worth crying over.
And he knew it. He’d be pissed if you did anything less.
We’re here to hang out with you tonight, John., as long as you want us. We’re here for you and for him.
You take the time you need, and don’t even try to pretend that this isn’t the time for tears.
Suffern ACE
I’m really too much in shock to say much. I’m very sorry that all this happened at once. That’s all I can add right now.
phred
We’re having an (extra sad) extra martini tonight in memory of the Tunchinator. Please don’t hesitate to express yourself however and whenever you feel that you can.
Much love has been sent your way John – please know that.
Emdee
Cole, I hope you can take some small comfort in the fact that while no one can feel Tunch’s loss more than you, he was more than just your best friend. He was a goddamn hero and don’t you ever forget it.
His “antics,” which were really just Tunch being Tunch, and your sharing them with all of us, generated tens of thousands of dollars in donations, first for Charlie’s Angels and now for MARC. Tha, without question, means Tunch saved thousands of kitties and doggies and got them to good, loving homes where they could have the same joyful life he did.
There are more than good memories. There are good works, and hundreds and hundreds of pets and humans who never would have found each other without Tunch leading you to share him with all of us.
Tunch was a goddamn hero and anyone who spent any time here will always remember and honor him.
(why is my Kleenex box suddenly empty? Oh, right…)
luzeelu
Oh god. I just arrived home to read this devastating news.
I am so very, very sorry, John.
CommishTheFirst
Let it hang out – love is nothing to be ashamed of. We’re here with and for you.
bill c
Condolences John. Such a sudden tragedy…
The Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion
Mr. Cole. Let the tears come for as long and as often as they want. If there’s anything on God’s green earth I can claim to be an expert in, it’s the art of surviving grief. Cry for as long and as often as you feel like, then do it some more when the feeling sneaks up and blindsides you about a thousand times after you think you’ve gotten over it. The only way out is through. But it does get better, and there will come a time when you’re bored with grieving. That’s how you know it’s starting to heal. At some point after that, you realize that the smile you get when you think about him is bigger than the hurt. That’s when you know you’re better. And that’s the prize at the end of this particular shitty grey-hued rainbow. Eventually, you get to go on loving him, and having that love bring you more joy than pain. He deserves that, and so do you. But this is how you get there. Go ahead and cry, dawg.
The Reverend Lowdown
Raising a glass to celebrate the life of a cat who inspired me to eventually adopt three rescue cats. Lost one to illness last Summer and it’s still sad as hell to think about, especially reading these obits. It gets a little better, but what can you do. I plan to keep loving these wonderful little creatures that come into my life. Let it all out, brother. We’re grieving along with you. Take care, John Cole
SIA
@TaMara (BHF): My heart chakra has fucking crashed. But so many kind people. It is good to see you here TaMara.
eclare
I’m so sorry. My 80 year old dad still will not talk about the best cat we ever had who was killed by a dog. It hurts too much. Damn. RIP Tunch. I can’t believe it.
Scott Alloway
No, John. You can cry. Many of us cry with you. I am a 63-year-old man who has cried over many pets. They are/have been special friends and, at times, the pain has been severe. I don’t know the extent of your pain, but for me, it is a hurt that lasts a long time. Once upon a time i rescued a bird knocked from its nest. Fed it through a straw for a month and released it. For months it came back on calling its name (Sparks) and played with me. On New Years Day, 2005, I saw a hawk capture and kill Sparks. Painful as it was (and still is), I treasure the time I had with that little bird. So, John. Tunch will be with you for a long time. It will rock you at times but that will be assuaged by the good memories. Stay strong, my friend. It will get better.
p.a.
Don’t apologize, and don’t withdraw. If there’s no one around at home, keep posting even if it’s just to say how shitty you feel. I lost one parent slowly, one quickly. If there’s a long illness there is time to come to terms, even though you don’t want to see the person suffer. But the other way, like today, for the survivor, is a kick in the guts. Miserable is normal. The best advice I can give (and I’ll admit I talk a better game than I play) is: don’t dwell on your memories of today if at all possible. Thinking of all the good times will hurt like hell now when the wound is new, but long term you don’t want today to be the first memory of Tunch that pops into your head.
I’m a sometime commenter who doesn’t bring much to the table, so this may be presumptuous but I hope all the lurkers who stepped up today to pay their respects and comfort John stick around and continue checking in. We can always use more good people.
tBone
Post your ass off if it makes you feel better. Anybody who doesn’t like it can GTFO.
BarbCat
@Emdee: That.
Edubook
Just adding my condolences. Love reading the website and wishing you well.
Edubook
Adding my condolences. Love reading the website and wishing you well. God almighty this shit sucks sometimes.
John O
@Emdee:
That was very sweet and very true. Thanks.
David Goodison
It will take a long time. Getting “cheered up” is not going to happen for quite a while. It’s horrible, but you just have to go through it and, besides, he earned your grief. Thank god you have Lilly there.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Emdee: BRAVO.
am
Cole, presumably you can tell through wordpress I really am a longtime lurker/infrequent commenter. I’d consider shutting down blogging for a bit. Take a bit of time to come to deal with the grief. Best of luck and sincere condolences.
Earl
/lurker
Sympathies. Remember to celebrate the life of Tunch as you work through the pain of his loss. You had him long enough to touch so many lives – yours and his the most.
Marcelo
My cat Oedipus is howling at the window, looking at me with sad eyes. He just keeps howling and howling, this terrible sad howl. He’s totally healthy, he gets a little howly when it gets late is all. But tonight I feel like he’s crying with me.
And yes Tunch was a goddamn hero. And so are you, Cole. Keep posting as much as you want, turn the entire blog into a Tunch shrine if you feel like it, I’ll gladly come back to it every day to pay my respects..
kurt welshinger
i am so so sorry. i have never commented on BJ before, but i had to tonight. i feel so sad for your loss, john. nothing will replace him i’m sure. i hope he is at peace wherever he is. i’ll be sitting here crying. -kurt
Lara
I am just a lurker too, but I cannot tell you how sorry I am. I have enjoyed your stories of your pets for years now, and Tunch was always my favorite.
maven
I just read this and cannot believe it.
Bless your kind heart John Cole.
CatHairEverywhere
No apology needed. Every time I think about it, I tear up again, and he wasn’t even my kittyboy. I am so terribly sorry. I have lost beloved pets, and it is awful, but to lose one in this way is even worse.
gopher2b
John, I’m so sorry. This is so awful and sad. You were are a great friend of animals and he was lucky to have you for as long as he did. Do whatever you need need to do to grieve, you both deserve it.
Shit, I’m crying; you certainly get to.
Sandia Blanca
At times like this, it can help to listen to the blues. I recommend some Stevie Ray.
Librarian
@am: Yes, I was thinking the same thing. Maybe the thing to do, John, is to shut the computer off and get away from this blog for a while, if you think it would help. Let the other FPers take care of things.
beabea
I feel you John. My cat Tom gathered flowers in the backyard and brought them to the front door as gifts. He was killed by dogs this past February 26, just about seven years to the day he and his stray buddies first appeared at my house. Just a few weeks ago, the banana trees started dropping their petals and when I saw them, realizing they would stay where they are because there’s no more Tom to bring them to the door, I just started crying uncontrollably. But then I was okay, and you will be too. I think of Tom every day and still cry from time to time, but instead of tears of grief, they’ve become more a reminder of how much I loved Tom and how precious life is, and a motivation to help the people and animals who are here and need help. And that seems to help me.
You will find the thing that helps you too, as impossible as that may seem right now. But for now, don’t even worry about it, just do what you need to do. There are people the world over for whom Tunch was almost like their own pet, and we grieve with you, and are keeping you in our thoughts.
askew
I am so sorry for your loss John. You should take all the time you need to mourn. So, so sad.
I am also feeling bad for your sister. She must feel awful.
janeform
John, I’m so sorry. You gave Tunch so much love and such a good life. And you’ve helped so many animals. Think about that as you grieve. My heart goes out to you.
Gemina13
When I had to put Lucky to sleep, I called the SO. I felt like I was about to murder my own Best Cat in the World – the beautiful little guy I’d found on an LA freeway, suffering from a perforated intestine from swallowing string, for God’s sake. And my SO told me, “Lucky’s had nine wonderful years with you. That’s nine more than he would have had without you.”
John, Tunch had you for 12 years. He was loved, cared for, fed, petted, showered with attention – you were the center of his world. You went out looking for him when he got out. You took as many pictures of him as most people do of their kids. As long as most of us here live, we will remember that fluffy cat you tried to make us think was really a flesh-and-blood Garfield. In short, you gave him a damn good life.
Don’t be upset because you’re grieving. You grieve when you love, and you’ve lost. Those are honest tears. Tunch has earned every single one of them. Eventually, you’re going to think of Tunch and smile, because the memory is a joyful one – and Tunch has earned all of the happy ones too. It’s part of the process. You just have to get through one before you reach the other.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{John}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Phylllis
Also here sitting with you, my friend.
jenn
I think my favorite Tunch story was (hopefully I’m remembering it right) when John kept losing his wallet – then he discovered that Tunch was knocking it off the table so Rosie could steal it away and hide it! That was awesome!
jnfr
I cried like a baby tonight, and my husband kept trying to hold me but I couldn’t relax into it at all.
Please let your loved ones comfort you, John.
DPS
This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry.
Ed in NJ
Shit, I still get choked up almost daily, and my dog died 9 months ago. Cry as much as you need to.
Narcissus
You’ll grieve as long as you need to — there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.
jamfan
Longtime lurker – around eight years, if not more. In between heated election seasons, the only political blogs I read are the GOS recommended diaries list and Balloon Juice. And I can’t stop crying either. I’ve had a Tunch or two in my life, and lost them, and my heart is breaking for you.
Eljai
@Emdee: What Emdee said. Postings about Tunch always made my heart smile.
Betty Cracker
@Emdee: Great comment. Tunch is a hero. So is John. No telling how many animals they’ve saved.
Sarah Proud and Tall
@johio:
I still get a laugh out of nowhere when I think of Tunch and the $200 backrest – “Screw you, monkey boy.
Mike
@Sarah Proud and Tall: Hahah, I was thinking of this post too when I mentioned his tower up thread. How his lack of use of it made it all the more his. Fucking Tunch.
Nikolita
Everyone else has said it already, but I’m so sorry for your loss John. I’m a long-time reader and I’m sitting here just trying to wrap my head around Tunch being gone, and it won’t quite compute.
Take as long as you need to grieve; we will shed tears with you.
@Eljai: My favourite posts on this blog have always been Tunch-related posts.
Violet
I’m so sorry John. So sorry. Grief is its own world. Navigate it as you need to. There are not rules for that.
TaMara (BHF)
Here’s the weird thing. I’ve had some horrible shit happen in my life. But I have never wanted a time machine more than tonight. Just to go back a few hours and change this.
I love you John Cole.
SIA
Here’s the link for MARC. I donated in memorium for Lord Tunch and General Stuck. Godspeed, dear boys.
http://marc4change.org/
FlipYrWhig
I just found out after having been out all night. This fucking sucks. This fucking sucks all the way to fucking hell.
'Niques
We’re crying with you tonite. Tragic.
Anya
I still cannot believe Tunch is gone. His lordship was a huge part of this blog. It’s hard to cope with his loss:~(
RIP, General Stuck and Tunch!
pukebot
I’ve been through it and all I can tell you for sure is that time heals all wounds. But I don’t know how you are going to get from here to there. As mainly a BJ lurker I will say Tunch was part of my life. I’m so so sorry.
Lexiltucky
Another longtime lurker.
Tunch was the face of the blog and your pictures and stories made him special to all of us. I’m so sorry for your loss.
RIP Tunch and peace and comfort to you, John.
Swishalicious
infrequent commenter but long-time reader here…
just wanted to send my condolences, and those of a bunch of my friends here in the senate, to John. tunch’s benevolent punem will always adorn many of the America’s totebags. i’m so, so sorry for your loss, i cannot imagine the trauma and pain you’re going through.
taylormattd
<3
dance around in your bones
Oh John….you lost your cat in a sudden and violent way. Shit, cry your eyes out as long as you need to.
I remember when we lost a dog who had been shot in the paw, operated on at great expense and then just disappeared once she healed up (we think she was possibly shot again – I think she’d been dancing around some farmer’s chicken coop and she did kind of look like a coyote).
We sat on the couch and cried for weeks. I mean, night after night after night. Just never knowing what happened to her and all the futile searches and people calling who thought they’d seen her but it wasn’t her and it was just agony.
I also had a little black chihuahua mix who thought he was as big a dog as any other and had a heart like a champion who ran out in the street one day chasing after a bicyclist and was promptly run over. A friend of mine who was visiting at the time said she’d never seen me cry like I was crying then. Just total meltdown sobbing with snot running down my face.
I hated seeing that little guy’s crushed body, but in a way it was better than never knowing what happened, you know?
Oh hell, it always hurts like crazy, so just cry and get it out. It may take a long time, but he was your buddy for so long….my heart bleeds for you.
tatateeta
I’m so sorry. I’m thinking of my cat, Judge Dee, the best cat I ever met. Tunch reminded me a lot of Dee Dee. My daughter and I and our long time vet, Dr. Wong, had a ceremony for Judge Dee and read from “My cat, Jeoffry” by Christopher Smart. Dr. Wong ordered a plaque for DeeDee with a line from the poem, “for he loved the sun and the sun loved him”. I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you.
Ruckus
John
Grieve in whatever way you need. None of us can do a lot to help but most of us will do what we can. You made Tunch a little bit our cat as well. I for one thank you for that. I like cats but am allergic. I can be around them for short periods of time but can’t have one as a pet. So a long distance pet works for me. I enjoyed him and the fact that he found you. But this is your loss, not mine. Most of us understand how you are feeling tonight. My take on losing loved ones is that it gets easier to live with as time goes on. That’s the only solace that I can offer. It gets easier, we move on. We don’t forget, but we began to understand how to live with the pain.
Punchy
Sorry for your loss John.
JWR
Very sorry to hear of your loss, John. I lost Mr. Bert, a huge white and brown furball of a cat after 14 years together, and then Billy Budd, a grey Tabby, who adopted both Bert and me when she was 12, and stuck around for the next 8 years. (Yep, she was 21!)
But It hurts. It hurts just to type this. But one thing I can say that might possibly ease your pain just a wee bit, is that just as Bert and Billy are still with me, so, to, is Tunch still, and always will be, with you. It’s what I call our own little Heaven, and it’s a good place.
celiadexter
I don’t often comment on BJ, but had to let you know how sorry I am. Tunch was truly a good cat. I wish you the best.
Laura C
John, I’m so sorry. No words, really.
KRK
So sorry, John. Dammit. Loved that behemoth of a cat. Grieve away, we’re right there with you.
efroh
I’m so sorry, JC. My heart aches for you and Tunch.
Evelyn
Oh my God, Cole, so so sorry for your loss. I’ve been having a shit week and came to balloon-juice tonight for a laugh, and now can’t stop crying. What an amazing cat, what a horrible loss. I wish I could give you a hug and drink whiskey with you. Just know that he sincerely affected a lot of our lives and will be missed.
PIGL
@Evelyn: this. John, I am very, very sorry for this loss.
cckids
I know its been said, but do what you need to to grieve, John. Tunch was a huge part of your life. You won’t “get over” losing him, you will just learn to live a different life. Hold onto the girls, be kind to yourself.
Like so many of us, I’m sitting here tonight crying about a lovely cat I never met. Tunch always reminded me of my big guy, Gryff, just a huge, fluffy loverboy. I’m hugging all my furry kids tonight & grieving too. I hope you can find some peace.
Know that you’re loved & admired. I just sent some $ MARC’s way; hopefully they will be inundated in Tunch’s memory.
EmanG
We’ve never talked, posted a few times, but come here every day to find some balance. So, so sorry at your sudden loss. Tunch’s love made you unafraid to admit that you love and the world is a better place for it. Breathe deep, ride it out, embrace and internalize the love Tunch helped you feel. Then spread it out into the world, much as Tunch’s essence is doing already. Getchmis olsun as the Turks say…
airmail
I’m a regular lurker. When I read about Tunch it knocked the breathe out me. I know how much he meant to you. My deepest condolences.
jl
So very sorry to hear the horrible news. My condolences. I will miss Tunch, the Tuncpix, the TunchTales, the TunchNip orgies.
Rest in Peace, Tunch! I will miss you.
If its any consolation John, you were generous to let us all enjoy a bit of Tunch while he was here on earth. My thoughts are with you.
Yang Guang
Long time listener, first time caller. I am profoundly sorry for your loss, I know the pain is so real when a thing like this happens. You’re not maudlin at all. I’m crying and I never had him on my lap. My name in Chinese means “Sunshine” and was given to me by my students. Try to remember him prancing in the sun where you now have him, and let yourself grieve. Peace be with you.
Yang Guang
Red Apple Smokes
I would like to join the community in extending my condolences to you. I’m basically a lurker,(commented once or twice under a different handle) but this place helps restore whatever faith I have in humanity at least once a day. I don’t really have anything else to say, other than you’ll be in my thoughts.
Beckya57
I can’t get into MARC right now. I hope that’s because they’re being flooded with donations from all of us. Will try again tomorrow.
Beckya57
Also you should know that Tunch has been memorialized on Tbogg’s website.
CatHairEverywhere
I want to add that earlier when I said the stories about Tunch always reminded me of my imperious, but cuddly, Onyx, I meant it in a good way. Tunch always seemed like Onyx in that he was able to get you to serve him, but he was also a big, sweet, cuddly baby. He was such a cool cat, and I loved your stories about him. My husband and I laughed out loud at the picture of the tower action shot. Again, I am so, so sorry.
etherealfire
Wow. This has just been a God-Awful, truly horrid day and I’m just so sorry John, so much more than I can ever say. You need to cry – and you need to know that you and Tunch are so loved by this community. Nothing will be able to take away the pain you are feeling right now, you just have to get through it. But please know that you and your family and your critters are loved, take heart in the fact that your sweet kitty is free from suffering and that you will get through this and you will not be alone as you do so. This is probably the 3rd post I ever made here but I had to delurk and give you a great big virtual hug and kiss and to add my condolences and remind you that you are very, very loved.
John Smallberries
I’ve had a buch of cats in my 56 years of life, and Ive cried when each and every one of them died. It takes time and never really goes away. but it gets a little easier each and every day.
Cassidy
Wow, this sucks. Been out with friends and just saw all this. I’m sorry for your loss, man.
Scamp Dog
I’ll add my condolences to the list. These creatures touch our hearts, but their lives are shorter than ours, and they face dangers we don’t, though we don’t often think of that.
I miss that cat, even though he was only pixels on a screen to me, so you will naturally miss him so much more. RIP, Tunch.
redoubt
delurking to offer condolences. sorry.
Gex
It is not too maudlin. Grief like this is the cost of admission to have the love and joy that these furry guys bring us. I have lost Kate and four beloved pets, and I’ve learned to take some comfort in knowing that as much as it absolutely sucks to the core, I wouldn’t have it any other way if it meant not knowing and loving them.
Let yourself feel it and don’t feel bad about it. You feel bad enough as it is.
Rob Lll
I just went on my computer to check out my favorite blogs and…oh God. I can’t believe this. I’ve lost animal companions before, but never like this.I can’t imagine the pain you must be in right now, after losing your beloved and loving Tunch in such a sudden, brutal way.
I’m shocked, saddened, utterly heartsick. I’m so sorry, John. Cry all you want and know that many people have you in their thoughts and prayers right now.
lojasmo
Sorry, john.
You’re experiencing mourning now, not grief. Grief is a longer process.
Mourning is crying and all that. Both are okay.
Jason
Highway Rob
I came home to this news a couple of hours ago, and I still don’t know what to say. Strength, John, however and wherever you can find it. Deepest condolences.
chanster
So sorry about your beloved Tunch – he was a great cat.
Wyliecoat
Just found out as I am in India. So sorry to hear about Tunch. My dog had an emergency while I was here and I was lucky that she was being cared for by someone who had the sense to take her to see a doctor right away when she became ill.
Do you know we got our cutie pie maltipoo Korra only because Tunch’s cuteness wore down all my concerns about pet ownership? I owe him.
Wrye
John, we’re here for you all night, if you want. But sleep if you can.
I will just add, there is no right or wrong way to grieve; try to eat something, try to get some sleep, try to not be alone. Take a break from reminders – which could be the blog, of course, but also maybe put off commitments for a little while, maybe take a little trip to get away. Time helps too, surely but very very slowly.
katie5
This is so horrible. I am so sad for you, John. Just know that so many of us are grieving with you.
jacy
The cost of deeply loving anyone is the sure knowledge that they might be taken from us at any moment, and whether we have had a period of preparation for their absence from our lives or whether they are gone in an unexpected moment, the agony is the same.
It’s of no solace, but is seems the depth of our grief is proportional to the joy we felt in their presence.
My most heartfelt condolences for your loss, but know that you have both been well-loved and have made the time here on earth better and richer in a million small ways.
Cathie from Canada
I’m so sorry. She was such a fine kitty, and you gave her a very happy life.
Suzanne
Hugs. Cry as long as you need to.
Shit, I, like, NEVER cry, and reading the news about Tunch today had me in tears, so I can only imagine how you’re feeling.
I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that this motley crew you’ve assembled is holding you in our hearts tonight.
katie5
Just remember that you have responsibilities to your other pets. You have to remain functional enough because they’re depending on you.
BruinKid
So sorry for your loss, John. Take care.
srv
We lost our dog to a doberman attack, he put himself between my sister and them. A poodle.
Am so sorry, and am sure some may feel this inappropriate, but my own first maudlin reaction was to do what I did at the loss of another friend and go to youtube and play The Door’s The End.
Not much else to do but be lost in the dark pit of despondency.
asiangrrlMN
Sweet, beautiful Tunchie. Nothing we can say will take away the grief, Cole. But know that he is loved and missed by so many.
AndoChronic
I pray that peace and serenity can find you right now.
JustSomeChick
Oh John, there’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said, but I am just so damn sorry. My husband asked me what was wrong, and I could hardly stop crying long enough to explain. A cat I’ve never seen with an owner I’ve never met and and I’m a wreck.
My experience with that type of bond, like the one I had with my Shepherd, made me believe the pain would never end. It haunted me for years. And even though a replacement is unthinkable right now (not to mention impossible, ever), getting another white Shepherd last year (10 years down the line) has finally let me lay the pain and guilt over having to put down Spirit (our 1st shepherd) to rest.
Our new baby looks similar (of course, same coloring and breed) which brings back wonderful memories of my original sweet girl, but the differences in personality and quirks let me enjoy her for herself. My husband and I have actually found it very healing to compare and contrast our two much loved but very different children. They both carved out their very own individual places in our hearts.
Of course, you’ll do what’s best for you, but my biggest regret is waiting 10 years to decide I wouldn’t be disrespecting Spirit’s memory or trying to replace her by getting another Shepherd. Instead, I’ve honored that memory by sharing my life with another dog of a breed I know from experience is unbelievably loyal with so much heart.
So, grieve, and know that so many of us grieve with you. When you are ready, fill the Tunch-shaped hole in your heart with another larger than life furry master.
VividBlueDotty
So many loving and sympathetic thoughts are already being sent your way, and yet I will add my condolences. Tunch will be missed.
Lurker
John, I’m crying with you.
Gen
You cry. Tunch was worth it.
Tommy T
Woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible foreboding.
Now I know why.
(big hug for John)
Tommy.
Meg
I have lots of German friends and they are all big softy.
It is totally ok to grieve, especially for this wonderful little guy.
Cry and hold your doggies tight. The emotion needs to be released.
You will find your strength soon enough.
Clockwork Buddha
Tunch had a big life through you. He had a home in you and, in turn, here. As you share, so can all who will miss him as they are knew him. It’s a kindness you offer us – and a generous one at that.
No need to apologize for grief.
Antonius
Morning and we’re still with you, man.
TFinSF
I don’t participate much here, but I am so sorry for your loss.
AnnieB
I am so sad for your loss. He was as fine a friend as they come. He was also my favorite part of your blog. His fabulous catness came through in all your stories and pictures.
lou
I’m a long-time lurker and infrequent commenter. Go ahead and cry. Real men do it.
I’m crying with you because you made Tunch such a part of all our lives. When my husband I lost our cat Moo last year — the first pet we both owned in our adult lives — we were pretty inconsolable for months. Tunch was your friend and companion for years and he was so quintessential cat.
Sherlock Hound
John, I’m very sorry. The last cat I owned was my mom’s and I had to give her up to be put down. 20 years ago. It’s 20 years ago! I shouldn’t be grieving! But she was my favorite cat. All my stories are about that cat, how she knew when her mom was going to the hospital and hid in a corner, or how she yowled for me to pick her up and rock her when I was heading out the door. Or how she loved her ritual of playing mouses several times a day.
We really do believe that photos capture the soul. How many photos have I seen here of Tunch, Lily, Zsa-Zsa and others? How many of those photos made me want to reach out and give a chin-scritcht, or a pat. How many of those photos remind me of good times with pets, dogs and cats and even birds, that I have come across and bonded with?
I have no other words. I’m just so sorry.
Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq.
God, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry, John.
p
dear john —
tunch was dearly loved by you, his faithful friend and loyal servant, adored by thousands, and an advocate for his fellow furry friends. in his last moments he was where he wanted to be, doing what he wanted to do (and probably more pissed than afraid), a free man.
you were both blessed, as we were by your stories of and heart for him.
(if there’s and afterlife, i hope to be greeted by the pack and pride of animals i’ve lost).
tunch had a huge (no pun intended) place in many hearts.
r.i.p., tunch cole.
Felanius Kootea
So sorry for your loss John.
Sasha
I’ve always believed that, ultimately, our pets teach us two lessons: how to love and how to say good-bye.