Every Christmas for the past 3-4 years a very kind woman in NYC has sent Tunch packages of hand-knitted catnip balls, and let me tell you, this is some weapons grade shit. I have no idea if it is Schedule 2 or if it comes from Humboldt County, but seriously, two catnip balls would last Tunch the entire year. SOOOOO, naturally, I grabbed the one I had left and sprinkled catnip on it:
Clearly, this is the good shit:
After I had basically roofied Boss, he started to do the patented Tunch/fat cat belly flop so I could rub his belly:
However, every time I tried to pet him, he would stand up as if to say “Dude, this is our first night. I’m not that kind of girl.” Eventually he broke down:
After that embarassing moment, we both stood up and said “HOW ABOUT THEM BEARS,” and Boss strutted around for a bit to let us know that was just an aberration:
We both decided it would be best if I left the room for a bit after that awkward moment, and ten minutes later I walked by and saw this:
I think he may have a problem.
In all honesty, I have never seen a cat come out like this so quickly before. It’s like Tunch sent him to me.
On the other hand, what have I gotten myself into with this guy? He has Tunchitude after only 8 hours.
*** Update ***
Just spent another little bit petting him and making him feel safe while the girls were in the bedroom, opened the gate, and he followed me out and is now in the home office. Frisky little monkey.
TaMara (BHF)
And with that, my night was made. You gentlemen enjoy yourselves and when you’re ready bring the girls in on the fun.
Tunch did indeed bring him to you. The ultimate act of love.
Gex
I’m so pleased you found a big tom cat that makes you happy. What you have gotten yourself into is a lot of great stuff, a lot of good stuff, and some bad stuff that is more than worth it. Congrats you two!
Alison
God, I miss watching that. My current cat has absolutely zero interest in catnip. When I first got her, I bought some catnip toys and tried to give them to her, and she just sat there. I’d bop them against her nose and she’d look at me like “The fuck are you doing, crazy lady?” and then walk away. My previous cat, however, oh man…it was the funniest shit ever watching him lose his tiny kitty mind when we’d give him catnip. He’d grab the toy in his paws and rub it all over his face…that was serious entertainment :)
burnspbesq
You’re doomed, but it’s likely to be highly entertaining.
Mike in NC
I think I might want to try smoking some of this badass shit.
Soonergrunt
That cat is definitely where he needs to be.
Csbella
Middle name: Stoner. Boss Stoner.
Roger Moore
Maybe it’s because he’s an older, more settled cat.
Fordpowers
Stoner kitty! He’d fit right in here too…
U know.. Washington state… That shit is legit here
I dig him… Makes me kinda want one…
Ben W
What a pretty cat.
burnspbesq
We had fun here this afternoon. Laettner managed to get her head into the handles of a Trader Joe’s bag (the paper bag with the pop-up paper handles), and had no idea how to get it out. Fortunately for her, I was on a conference call, so there is no photographic evidence, but it was extremely droll.
asiangrrlMN
“I can stop any time I want. I just don’t want to!”
Love this post, Cole. It’s great to see the two of you bonding so quickly.
Emerald
The last two kittehs I got from shelters both came out pretty early too. I also adopt adult/senior kittehs, and I think they understand that they have a new home. The certainly seem to realize they’re out of jail.
Boss looks like the perfect kitteh for you! No kitteh ever could replace Tunch, but this guy just might come close to brother status.
(And please get MARC to save sweet little Snowbell! She has been, um, marked by Balloon Juice! She needs saving!)
Fordpowers
Already over wanting one….. Just remembered a little thing called litter box and threw up a lil… Ha!!
Ted & Hellen
Ha. Cole, you are delightfully bizarre. :D
Sister Inspired Revolver of Freedom
Popcorn! This is going to be good!
Roger Moore
@Csbella:
Better Boss than Eugene.
Elizabelle
Boss Weed
Ted & Hellen
How old is this cat again?
max
I think he may have a problem.
Yeah, you may call him Boss now, but pretty soon he’s going to be ‘Dude’.
max
[‘As will you and both dogs.’]
kc
Love it! You’re bonding already.
Was he in a cage at the shelter? He’s probably happy as hell to be at your house.
Princess Leia
@Csbella: !!!!love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Princess Leia
@Elizabelle: This is a great thread!
Dead Ernest
@max:
Sweet!
Desert Rat
Tunch was just a normal cat, dude. A little bigger than some, but just a big old happy tomcat. I’ve got four of them, and they’re all fun to have around (though the real stoner for us is this little waifish female we have). Sounds like you found another one.
slag
Congrats on The Boss. I’m convinced that you can’t go wrong with a Maine Coon(ish) feline. Have had mine for over 16 years and wouldn’t trade him for anything. He can’t talk aloud (a nigh-inaudible bkkkaaaakkk is pretty much as close as he can get to a meow), but his communication skills are utterly unparalleled. He’s an intellectual through and through and extremely interactive. Everyday, he serves as a perfect reminder that not having a voice isn’t the same as not having something to say.
Good choice of feline friends, JC. You know how to pick ’em.
Smileycreek
From a old Get Fuzzy comic where the cat is stoned on the nip:
“Have you ever looked at your paw? I mean, really looked at your paw?”
Yatsuno
Stoner kitteh is stoned. Seems about right.
Csbella
@Princess Leia: hehehe, how about Boss Mary Jane, oops wrong sex.
All kidding aside that’s one cute personality. I want one too!
Keith
Do you ever use those cardboard scratching pads? Every cat I’ve ever had goes nuts for those (especially with catnip dumped on them). They all like to sleep on them, fight over them, claw them, rub their gums on them. Just about everything except for hump them.
chrome agnomen
i may throw up.
Emma
Of course Tunch sent him. You thought those wings were just a drawing, didn’t you? Silly John.
mai naem
Is the problem that bad? Do we need to do an intervention here? Does he need to go to Celebrity Rehab?
khead
You’ve got it bad, John.
But that’s a good thing. For you and us lurking folks. Enjoy.
The prophet Nostradumbass
This old Tom Lehrer song seems appropriate.
CatHairEverywhere
Trader Joe’s has those cardboard catnip scratchers very cheaply (here, at least) My kitties go nuts when I just bring one into the house. They’ll fish out the nip, even though it is in a sealed bag. I don’t know how they can smell it! They love scratching them, napping on them etc.
Roger Moore
@Elizabelle:
We have a winner!
MikeInSewickley
As mentioned by others, I see a scene from “The Big Lebowski” coming up!
What a good boy!!
Mary G
Mine hid under the bed for four and seven days respectively, and it took me forever to get them to understand that it was OK to come in the daytime. I always wondered if the shelter let them out at night to play.
They still, more than two years later, run and hide whenever anyone comes. They are my ghost kitties!
Glad to see you and Boss doing so well. He looks like a fine figure of a man.
John Cole
@Emerald: I am talking to a neighbor tomorrow who has a three story house and lives alone, and she has three cats already. I am going to offer to pay her shelter fee and her vet fee’s in the upcoming years if she takes her.
But only on the condition she renames her from Snowbell to Lady Marmalade. I met her, and she is tiny but very glamorous.
Mnemosyne
@Alison:
IIRC, female cats are less likely to be interested in catnip than male cats — it’s a hormonal/genetic thing. Some cats don’t react to it at all.
My two female cats like it, but it makes Keaton paranoid, so we can’t give it to him. Seriously, the poor guy always looks like he’s going on the stereotypical “bad trip” in an anti-drug movie.
Now, Werebear’s Stinky Sock — that he loved. He punched Charlotte in the head when she tried to take it away from him.
JWL
“Candy is dandy, and liquor is quicker,
Boss can nip all the catnip down in Costa Rica.
Ain’t nobody’s business but his own”.
But come a Monday night, in the very near future, when you’re out of catnip (and that will happen), and a Steelers game is about to begin, and it’s raining/sleeting/ snowing (or whatever else hellish weather you people endure during winter months in W. Va.), and you ain’t going nowhere for no damn cat because you just got home and the game is about to begin…. well, what then?
Look at that photo again.
And then ask yourself one question, and think it through: “Is that the look of an animal willing to forgo its fix”?
taylormattd
How are the dogs reacting?
Redshirt
@taylormattd: Ain’t heard nuthin ’bout dem dawgs.
SectionH
He IS a Maine Coon, John. Don’t say some of us didn’t “warn” you.
new insight into the amazing ways of our feline masters.
Ok, catnip. I’m not an expert, but I’ve seen a huge range of cat behavior re same. One mother/daughter pair got totally ripped on it, and ever after ran away from even the hint of it. When we had “our 5” the oldest,kitteh was a Mean Drunk. Srsly. Miranda never cared. Nor did my sweet Jesse. But Skitter loved it, Ms Layna still seems to,like it a bit.
Suzanne
Shit just took a turn for the HILARIOUS.
You picked a good new blog mascot. WTG, Cole.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@taylormattd: from how Cole’s been talking about it, I think he’s keeping them separate for now.
Alison
@Mnemosyne: Interesting, I didn’t know that! We had three female cats when I was growing up, but I can’t recall if they liked it or not. But that definitely tracks with the current and last ones…
Choicelady320
@Alison: Quite seriously – try celery leaves. My now deceased but incredibly brilliant old boy could not have cared less about catnip, but celery leaves? Well, it’s too embarrassing to write ALL the details about his writhing on the floor in them,rubbing his head in them, and grabbing them between his paws. Worth a shot – it’s pretty funny if it works.
Choicelady320
@slag: I have a Main Coon cat, too. He chirps, warbles, twitters but no meow until recently. He’s finally learned from my older cat (now deceased) but it took years. The older cat disliked him – tolerated him but not a lot – and I think it’s because, seriously, they did not speak the same language. He learned from her, NOT the other way around. Now he’s very talky and happy to finally be the King.
AnotherBruce
Cole this is really funny. I lost my kitty about 4 months ago, I’ve been waiting a bit to get a new one, but now reading this I’m beginning to believe I’ve waited too long.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@taylormattd: How’s the Wreck List going? I unfortunately had to cancel my subscription.
Lawrence
I had a stray mackerel tabby like this for seventeen years. She was very loyal, and loving, but ornery. Those claws, my couch was more like ‘scratching post, seats three adults’. She had quite the sweet tooth, and when you had food she wanted she would climb up you to get it. Her nose sniffed it out, her eyes wide, her entire head elongated trying to reach it. Lost her a few years ago to thyroid disease. She wouldn’t take her medicine. After giving her the first pill, and it had been years since I had needed to give her medicine, she bit me. An elderly, sick cat put a bite on me, and it was so fast I didn’t see it. Like a snake. Sent me to urgent care two days later with an infection. I miss you Sam. So does my wife and daughter, but not the other two cats.
slag
@Choicelady320:
Huh. I wonder if this is a thing. Wikipedia says:
Mine definitely “talks back” but does so inaudibly.
Princess Leia
@Choicelady320: Or those small bags of carrots.Just throw them on the floor and watch the fun!
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
I had no idea this was happening today, because my employer’s web-blocker of choice, Websense, has blocked this site this week. But I’m so happy to see this, and am happy for you, John, to see you choose to share your generosity with such a grand looking little guy!
Life demands we push forward. And any day without at least one cat in the house is a day to rue as you size up your past.
Cheers!
eemom
Hello Kitty.
hmmm, has a nice ring to it……maybe I’m on to something…..
The prophet Nostradumbass
@slag: My tuxedo Maine Coon yowls and yells at me with great frequency. He is not shy about making his demands known. He also enjoys sitting next to my chair and staring at me like he’s trying to hypnotize me.
DirtyAussie
Watch out, some cats will do anything to get a fix. Before you know it he will be stealing mustard to sell on the black market…..
slag
Also, John, PLEASE don’t overfeed this one. And feed him the wettest, highest quality protein possible. Some typical Maine Coon health problems, such as hip dysplasia and kidney disease, will be exacerbated by excess weight and dehydration.
slag
@The prophet Nostradumbass: Mine totally stares. I taught him to wink through it. We started off with blinking at each other and then moved onto winking. He’s pretty good. If he’s hypnotizing me, I probably wouldn’t know it. Could be he’s the one actually doing the teaching .
Teach The Boss cool stuff, John! Trust that he’s already smarter than you. Let him show it.
Suzanne
My Nico was a Maine Coon/Persian mix. She wasn’t a talker. She would meow at times, and I often commented that her hoarse little voice was that of a washed-up diva who now smoked too many cigarettes. She also would only cuddle, she didn’t want to actually sit on anyone’s lap.
Nico was my Tunch: the best cat ever.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@slag: I gotta try that one. Seamus is only around 11 pounds, so he’s obviously not overweight, as they go.
Emerald
@John Cole: Thank you thank you thank you!
Of course, I should have known that you wouldn’t let that sweet little girl down.
And if the lady won’t take her, MARC ought to be able to help. They’re flush now!
I know we can’t save them all, but we can save that one.
slag
@The prophet Nostradumbass: I accidentally got mine overweight for a while. It can be hard to notice because of the ginormity of the Maine Coon frame. But once he got back down to size, he was a happier, more active cat. More trainable too. The cat can do almost everything you ask of him. Though he may resent the hell out of it. You can almost see him sigh, “Yet another twirl? Don’t you people have anything better to watch?”.
Debbie(aussie)
Am so happy for both you & Boss, John. He is a very handsome cat. Enjoy!
CaseyL
The laser look of sweet stoner-tude!
Many years ago, I lived in a duplex, with Jazz and Ariel (my kitties at the time), and all my neighbors also had cats. Just outside my door was a concrete area. I’d go out when the weather was nice and put out piles of ‘nip. Every cat on the block would come running, and I’d keep laying out ‘nip until everyone had some.
It was the best entertainment ever: 8 cats, all stoned out of their minds. Some huddled over their share, daintily nibbling. Some rolled around, and kept on rolling, all over the place. Often they’d roll into one another, at which point there’s be a very minor altercation; just enough to re-establish personal space, so they could get back to the serious business of getting toasted.
I’d rub bellies and get my hand grabbed, nibbled, and licked; then the cat would stare at my hand as if they’d never seen one before.
It was a hoot.
wmd
This one is for Boss Cole.
Good on ya.
Mnemosyne
@slag:
Keaton (who is at least half Maine Coon) is nicknamed “Mr. Meeps” because he has such a teeny-tiny meow. When we take him to the vet, the other people in the waiting room are convinced we have a kitten and then are shocked to see that, no, he’s a 13-pound full-grown cat the size of a small terrier.
Gex
@Alison: I love that to the cat, it looked like catnip makes you insanely high.
My Maine Coon liked to find particularly resonant areas of the house, like the stair way, and yowl and chirp and sing. It was the best.
KS in MA
I think you did the right thing. I bet Boss hasn’t been that relaxed in ages (anyone who would name a cat “Bugger” would not be likely to make him feel at home).
May this be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!
SectionH
@slag: eh… I’m sure you mean well, but Do the Fuck Not Assume that John overfed Tunch on purpose. I’m fairly sure the contrary is true.
When we had our 5, #1 kitteh wasn’t fat, got fat, wasn’t fat. #2 Miranda never weighed more than 12 lbs in her life and had a frame (Maine Coon size) that was built to carry more. For 10+ years we gave her a special place and more cat food than any of our other cats. It didn’t cause her to get fat. Our sweet little Skitter never had an ounce of excess weight, but her lifespan wasn’t any longer than Randa’s,
I mean really.
Anne Laurie
@slag:
Every male Maine-Coon-type cat I’ve ever met had a deep, resonant purr, and a ridiculous little high-pitched mew. They’re the Tom Sellecks of the cat world!
Mary G
Nice clear pictures, too. Excellent.
trollhattan
Totally off the topic of beeeg drug-crazed kittehs, Louis Black talks smack to Rih Perry and Texas on tonight’s TDS. A must-see.
Sparky
@The prophet Nostradumbass: 2:30 CST and I’m inspired to taste a little ’cause of that. (I don’t have to work this week.)
Sparky
@eemom: You should be shot for that. I like you less than Cornerstone. (Ambiguity intended.)
Sparky
Oh fuck! I’m that person. commenting.to.myself.on.a.dead.thread.
Bed-ways is the right-ways, eh dear Alex?
Jill
How many times do I have to tell you, Tunch DID send him!! I am about to adopt the third cat sent to me by a deceased pet. Jenny, who left us two weeks ago, sent me a signal to check Craigslist in addition to Petfinder, and there he was, the perfect cat: A young male, two years old, neutered, negative for all terrible diseases, a bit shy at first but very affectionate, likes other cats so he’ll be fine with Maggie the Simultaneous Infant and Diva. The foster home gave me his scratch pad so Maggie could get used to his scent and she spent the evening napping on it — as if it were Jenny’s. They stay with us for a while after they are gone and that is why you are still seeing Tunch. You may not see him again now because after this funny post, he knows you are OK.
Patricia Kayden
Boss is one cute kitty. Looking forward to many interesting posts/pictures/videos on our new cat.
Keith G
So much win!
Now if I may, Cole, please consider keeping Boss an inside only cat (if that is what he is used to). By doing so you will have a healthier and longer living companion.
c u n d gulag
Congratulations, John! :-)
We plebe’s all bow before your, and our, Boss.
gorillagogo
Congrats on teh new kitty. He looks just like our cat Mouser
the lost puppy
Well, there ain’t nothing like a polydactyl tabby. I don’t know from personal experience, but I just know. That said, I came back to check on the grieving process and I see Mr. Cole already has a new one. I honestly didn’t think he would snap back this soon. I would still be trying to get my body and face off a tear-stained kitchen floor
I still love you Tunch. Welcome new Kitty, you are now, already, a star. And you will be loved like no other!
the lost puppy
And if he is part Maine Coon (not sure from this thread), Mr Cole will be loved to death. My neighbor has a black part Maine Coon who will actually hug and kiss you and sit on your chest, whether you ask him to or not. THE MOST MELLOW CAT EVER.
Just One More Canuck
In our old house, a previous owner had planted catnip in the garden, and we had every cat for miles around coming through the yard. It was like our cat (Scully) was the neighbourhood dealer
bago
@the lost puppy: But does he aggressively lick you?
Maude
Boss is meant to be at the Cole household. What a great post.
bemused
The malware issue kept me from visiting until now but I did read the kitty choosing John post and was rooting for Boss instantly. Pick him! Maine Coons are awesome. We had male and female litter mates that definitely had a lot of Maine Coon in them, the male had similar markings/color as Boss and female was a calico. Those two were stand out kitties, large gorgeous furbabies, big talkers with great personalities.
I had to laugh at the photo of the belly scritching. That big belly had to have sealed the deal for you!
debbie
He looks so thin in comparison.
Trinity
Love is a powerful drug! Yay Boss! My husband and I are in the process of rescuing two little main coon mix kitties. We hope to welcome them by the end of the month.
Happy for your whole little family John. :)
HRA
I was unable to get on here for a few days.
Congratulations, John. May you and Boss have the happiest of times through many years. .
Boss is a great name sayeth one who likes NCIS.
Nicole
Love him. His eyes really are amazing.
Patricia Kayden
@the lost puppy: Sounds like my Boxer. He definitely hugs and kisses you whether you like it or not. He’ll get on his hind legs and wrap those front legs right around your midsection.
mothra1
He is gorgeous. A great advert for shelter cats.
donnah
Look at the size of those mitts!
And the kitty has big giant paws, too!
danielx
Know the pictures are gone…but I really want the picture of Tunch with angel wings back. The daughter unit was/is a huge Tunch fan, and she was much consoled by that portrayal.
Particularly at how the artist captured the typical Tunch facial expression – “bring me some tuna, subhuman”.
Shakezula
Wait, you got a cat!?
Er, no. It appears you got 2.5 cats. Yowzers, what a huge beast.
Congrats.
p.s. I hope you have a good fur taming device. Those medium haired cats will fill your life with dust bunnies the size of cantelopes in about three hours.
Drew Caplan
I just did the very same think, with less fruitful results, with my Tortie feral mama, who had her litter in my garage during the last snow fall of this last winter.
ET
I do adore those poly-paws. I miss my poly-pawed kitty.
rikyrah
ok, Boss is definitely on the chunky side.
gogol's wife
@danielx:
yes, that really bears re-posting.
schrodinger's cat
The paw fuzz is adorable. Stoned kitteh is stoned.
sw
Well done with the cat Mr. Cole. It is the only cure. They say time heals all wounds but it has been my experience that this kind of hole just keeps getting bigger and there is only one thing that fills it in. He’s not a replacement or a substitute,he is an heir. This guy gets to be the beneficiary of everything that Tunch taught you about cats. Lucky guy.
schrodinger's cat
Are you going to get another kitteh? Original boss cat Boss Tweed was quite unhappy and lonely before he had mellow yellow kitteh to torment and boss around.
PGfan
I was very sorry about Tunch and am really happy about Boss!
Susanne
Boss Spicoli, needs a little surfboard.
vogon pundit
It’s nice to see your prior training as cat servant kicking in. He really will be the Boss in no time!
phoebes-in-santa fe
Cole, I was just over at Raw Story and there’s a story about a cat in Italy that I think might be “Boss”. You better watch out if it is.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/07/18/police-nab-cat-high-on-cocaine-during-drug-bust/
Mnemosyne
@Jill:
There’s a reason one of Charlotte’s nicknames is “Boris’s Revenge.” She torments Keaton the same way Keaton tormented Boris — by loving him to the point that Keaton gets annoyed by it.
Csbella
Bossa nova
gogol's wife
@Keith G:
I agree, but I doubt that he will do it.
Karen in GA
He’s already got you trained to bring catnip. Boss, indeed.
Ragtime Willy
This makes me happy. Thank you.
PopeRatzo
My cat doesn’t get that kind of mellow buzz from catnip. It’s more like she just smoked some DMT, and is tripping balls, fighting invisible tentacles and spinning around in circles like Curly Howard.
Fifteen minutes later, she’s sleeping on my wife’s lap, but for that short time, baby, she’s a thousand light years from home on purple haze.
Priest
I took in a Mainer that had belonged to a friend’s father, she hadn’t gotten much attention during his final illness. The first day in the house she got in my lap as I sat and watched football. Then I left for a while to let her explore/get used to the house. When I returned I didn’t see her out and about and assumed she was under a bed, but then I heard a faint meow and went looking. Couldn’t find her, and then I realized where she was, which I confirmed by reaching as far as I could – up the chimney. I could barely touch fur. After getting over a panic I gradually got her out (and blocked the fireplace), and she was very much a sweetie for the all-too-brief time she was with me before misfortune came.