Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

The unpunished coup was a training exercise.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Hell hath no fury like a farmer bankrupted.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / The Name Game

The Name Game

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I hate to do this, but I made a hasty decision, and Boss just does not fit this cat. He’s just way too damned sweet, and he has these beautiful eyes, and when he looks at you, it isn’t contempt or imperiousness. I guess I was just taken by his magnificence and the paws and the size of his melon, but I just don’t feel like Boss is right for him.

An example of how affectionate he is- I’ve had about a half dozen people over to meet him, and all I tell them is to just go into Tunch’s room, lie down on the bed, and pat the bed a couple times, and he will come up. Jill Ill, when she came over, went in and he jumped up and started purring and loving all over her and we didn’t see her for 90 minutes. My brother had the same experience, but he actually fell asleep with Boss on his chest. He seriously just hops up, rubs that big noggin’ with those big whiskers and jowls and super wet nose, and then flops over so he is right next to you so you can bet his belly- but only a few times, as the precise amount of belly rubs changes, and then the bites start.

Boss is not right. I’m not even going to try to name him until a week or so after his surgery, so we will just use Boss as a playholder. All options are open, and he’ll tell me his real name.

Mr. Lover Lover is far more appropriate than Boss.

Reader Interactions

240Comments

  2. 2.

    cckids

    He still sounds like a Hagrid to me. A big softhearted sweetie. But all my animals are named after characters.

  7. 7.

    atlliberal

    If he likes Boss, Then why not keep it? it doesn’t matter whether it “fits” or not, as long as he likes it.

  8. 8.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    I think you’ll settle on Mongo after the surgery.

  9. 9.

    maye

    There’s no reason a boss can’t be a lover. Is there? Do you know how many people have had affairs with their bosses? Too many to count.

  11. 11.

    gbear

    If you want to name him after a football player who played a benevolent giant on television, you could name him Merlin (Olsen).

    (I make that suggestion having no idea if Merlin Olsen is a good guy or a bad guy to you)

  15. 15.

    Laura C

    Just take a little tangent from Boss and go to Bruce? Not actually a name I like, but maybe for a cat.

  16. 16.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @atlliberal: I agree, though I really like Cousin It, but it would make calling him a little awkward. Hagrid and Mongo are good too.

  17. 17.

    Sibling Nonspecific Firearm of Random Adjective Followed by a Noun That Describes a Mental State (fka AWS)

    Loverboy

  18. 18.

    Bobby Thomson

    After he becomes one of The Unsullied, you could just draw a new name out of a barrel every day.

  25. 25.

    Pogonip

    Big old sweet tough guys…

    Sully, like in Monsters Inc?

    (Samurai) Jack?

    Kal-el?

    Bagoas, the likable eunuch hero of the novel “The Persian Boy”?

    Hodor?

    Little John?

    Treebeard?

  30. 30.

    max

    I hate to do this, but I made a hasty decision, and Boss just does not fit this cat.

    Yeah, I told you. ‘Dude’ still works pretty good.

    @PaulW: Theon Greyjoy?

    Nonononononononononononononono. If we’re doing GoT, we need a nice character, or at least a nice-appearing one. Sir Davos works.

    max
    [‘OTOH, maybe he’s a Tyrion. He does seems to be small with a big head.’]

  33. 33.

    RobertDSC-Power Mac G4 Dual 1.25

    I still vote my original name: Magnus.

    But I also like Boss, so that’s that.

  34. 34.

    max

    @max:

    Oh, and now I have a new dachshund sliding into the spot where the old one who passed away fit. We seem to have settled on Penelope (Penny). (She’s all black with a touch of longhair, so I was thinking Persephone or Penelope, but the availability of the diminutive settled it.)

    max
    [‘Complete maniac so far.’]

  40. 40.

    Princess Leia

    Romeo– so John can yell to the neighborhood, running about in his robe and slippers, “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?”

  41. 41.

    Jimmi the Grey

    Just switch the first letter to H. Hoss was a cuddly loving and lovable of a Cartwright as there ever was.

  42. 42.

    susan

    Well, you could name the big footed sweetheart Romeo. Added benefit: when you have to go looking for him you could call, “Romeo, oh Rooomeeeeo where….”

    Well, you get the idea.

    Actually, I kinda like the name Lug too.

    As in, “Aww, you big Lug!”

  44. 44.

    michelle

    Think about something Latin, Spanish or French. Marco, Benito, Rene, Carlito, Chuey, Hugo (pronounced as it should be) or Pablo.

    If you name him Pablo, you could really mess with that obnoxious guy who used to (perhaps still does?) post on Jeff Goldstein’s blog and used to muck about around here back in the day.

  47. 47.

    Xboxershorts

    HODOR! The gentle giant of Game of Thrones tending after his (emotionally) crippled lord and master!

  51. 51.

    22over7

    I understand. When I got my tortie, she was so skinny and pitiful that I named her Molly. Some weeks later, she filled out, got comfortable, and released her attitude. Inflicted is more like it. I renamed her Mugsy. Some days she’s Satan, and others, she’s just Lazy Butt. Every day she’s the joy of my life.

  52. 52.

    Warren Terra

    Still going for Polly (or, alternatively, Paul), for “polydactyly”.

    Although the way you describe his behavior, it could be short for “polyamorous”.

  54. 54.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Princess Leia:

    Romeo– so John can yell to the neighborhood, running about in his robe and slippers, “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?”

    The wherefore would be easy. Cole named him.

  56. 56.

    peej

    I like Loverboy. I personally like to name my cats after Muppets. I currently have a Gonzo (and the name fits).

  58. 58.

    ruemara

    Otajamakushi would like to suggest his original name, Theodore Bear, Teddy for short.

  59. 59.

    SIA

    Leonardo (Leo)
    Jameson Geoffrey Cole (Jimmy Jeff, JGC)
    Kittimus Maximus (Max)
    Fitzkitteh (Fitz)

  60. 60.

    Alison

    I don;t know why but I keep thinking of LOTR names…Bilbo, Pippen…

    Or maybe Marco in honor of the shelter, and then see which of your neighbors will gamely yell back POLO when you call for him…

  70. 70.

    Diana

    So this means we can no longer makes jokes along the lines of, “Meet the new Boss, same as the old Boss”?

  72. 72.

    peej

    You could call him Tony, for Tony Soprano, since that’s what he’s going to be singing after tomorrow .

  73. 73.

    RedKitten

    @Alison:

    Or maybe Marco in honor of the shelter, and then see which of your neighbors will gamely yell back POLO when you call for him…

    That would be the best thing ever. EVER.

    And yeah, Bosley is a good name, you can call him Boz for short, which sounds enough like Boss that the poor fucking cat won’t get all confused.

  75. 75.

    EL

    Pictures, damn it!

    Bombadil, Buddha-cat, Smokey, Hagrid… I know, Abelard! A medieval lover who was castrated.

  82. 82.

    CatHairEverywhere

    I still like Otis. Or Arlo. Or Jasper (his coloring looks a little like a variety of Jasper)
    Our very cuddly MC, who looked like your guy, only with a white chest, was Otis.

  83. 83.

    MomSense

    I love the name Hagrid and surprisingly I love Romeo too. Hemingway is growing on me as well.

  89. 89.

    gbear

    Apparently there was a run on the name Edward in the west Minneapolis area about 5 years ago. I had adopted a cat named Edward (I loved the name so I didn’t change it) who turned out to be a VERY bad match for my old cat Halley so I had to take him back to the shelter. I was keeping an eye on the adoption website out of guilt to see when he’d get adopted again. At the same that bad Edward found a new home, another Edward showed up on the adoption page. I called the shelter to verify that bad Edward had indeed been adpoted, and the staff member sighed, “We have so many Edwards here”. At any rate, I adopted the second Edward and he is a total sweetheart, although Halley is still an absolute pill about having another cat around.

  98. 98.

    Suzanne

    RIGHT?!?!

    When they killed him off, I was so depressed. LOVE watching his sex scenes. HAWT.
    Dinklage is definitely a DwILF, but not in Khal Drogo territory. They keep killing the eye candy.

    As long as Danerys Targaryen doesn’t get killed, I’m good.

  102. 102.

    Ridnik Chrome

    @Warren Terra: I think it should be the other way around, the new Royal Baby should be named after Cole’s new cat. Prince Met Ineptitude. Or Prince Mongo. Or Prince Mr. Lover Lover.

  113. 113.

    burnspbesq

    Fcuk and double-fcuk. Diving catch in the gap to end the game.

    Did I mention fcuk?

  115. 115.

    burnspbesq

    Laettner says all kittehs should be named after sports heroes.

    Franco? Lydell? L.C.?

  117. 117.

    Juju

    I still like Mongo, but I also like Reg, after Reginald Presely , the lead singer of the Troggs. Love is all around…

  126. 126.

    The Fat Kate Middleton

    Byron. Or, as per above, Bjorn. I notice all these B name suggestions, and I understand why. So … Byron (or Bjorn).

  128. 128.

    labpartner

    @michelle: I second Pablo. It is flexible enough to fit Boss’ lovable side, and some other sides, yet to emerge. My second second is for Zander.

  129. 129.

    sphouch

    What was the name of the Abominable Snowman in the Bugs Bunny cartoon? “and I will hug him and squeeze him and call him george…”

    Or did he have a name?

  133. 133.

    NickT

    I suggest Podrick. He’s large, prone to devotion and has more to him than meets the eye.

  134. 134.

    JWL

    Jefferson, Sawyer, or Paine.

    Or, because his feelings won’t be hurt after the “surgery”, why not rechristen him Tomissina?

  137. 137.

    Princess Leia

    Pepe LePew – after the tom cat odor.

    Pepé: (sings) Affaire d’amour? Affaire de coeur? Je ne sais quoi … je vive en espoir. (Sniffs) Mmmm m mm … un smella vous finez … (Hums)
    Gendarme: Le kittee quel terrible odeur!!
    Proprietor: Allais Gendarme!! Allais!! Retournez-moi!! This instonce!! Oh, pauvre moi, I am ze bankrupt … (Sobs)
    Cat/Penelope: Le mew? Le purrrrrrr.
    Proprietor: A-a-ahhh. Le pussy ferocious! Remove zot skunk! Zot cat-pole from ze premises!! Avec!!
    Cat/Penelope: (Smells skunk) Sniff, sniff, sniff-sniff, sniff-sniff.
    Pepé: Quel est? *notices cat* Ahh…le belle femme skunk fatale…*clicks tongue twice*

  139. 139.

    Honus

    @burnspbesq: Lydell? Not gonna name a Pittsburgh cat after a Colts player. Or any PSU player that didn’t reform and come to the Burgh.
    Eugene. After Big Daddy. Or Johnny U.

  140. 140.

    billgerat

    Don’t go with Mr. Lover Lover. Think of a name that doesn’t sound weird or creepy shouted from your car if he goes missing around the neighborhood.

  141. 141.

    Gnarly Charlie

    How about Leon, aka The Professional. Also means lion. If you want a Steeler name, how about Jerome (Bettis), or Bus? Sounds like Boss, too.

  149. 149.

    Suzanne

    OT, but am I the only one annoyed by Duchess Kate’s hair? She looks like she’s trying out for the cheer squad. Someone who dresses so fashionably should change it up a bit.

  152. 152.

    Honus

    another Steelers football name would be Frenchy, who deflected the IR, although there’s still that Baltimore taint.

  153. 153.

    ducktape

    Mister Earl

    And sometimes you can call him Speedo,

    Seriously, ask him what his name is. Don’t be surprised if he says “Earl.” He looks like an Earl to me.

    But anyone with such majestic cheekpouchs also gets a “Mister.”

  154. 154.

    NickT

    @Comrade Mary:

    Happy the cat, and happy he alone,
    He who can call today his own;
    He who, secure within, can say,
    Tomorrow, do thy worst, for I have lived today

  156. 156.

    seaboogie

    @Eljai: Yeah, I love the idea of Cole hollering “Romeo, Romeo, hey Romeo – get your furry butt in here!” in a deep voice at night….neighbors would love that, I bet!

    I’m down with CatHairEverywhere @comment #82 with Jasper, which I suggested in an earlier thread. His coloring is like one of the iterations of Jasper, a semi-precious stone. And Imma gonna google jasper again and give you this biblical link (which I think of as an historical work of heavily embroidered fiction based on a few facts). Check it out: http://biblehub.com/revelation/4-3.htm

    You got your throne in heaven, and rainbows and emeralds likes his eyes doncha know? Plus the name is a nice soft 2-syllable one (easy for critters to recognize and respond to) and it ends in “purrr……”

  157. 157.

    Daffodil's Mom

    He’s a very loving being and has an inherent dignity. You could blow away everyone who knows you by officially naming him First Corinthians 13 — and calling him Corey. Regardless of anyone’s beliefs, it’s still an amazing piece of writing.

  158. 158.

    Mister Papercut

    He sounds like the cat version of my dad’s late Gus (short for Angus), a.k.a. The Velcro Dog. Talk about an animal that was all heart…

  161. 161.

    Culture of Truth

    Master of All He Surveys. But you can call him “master.” You want you neck rubbed? “Yes master”

    Then if he gets lost, you can drive around the neighborhood yelling “Master…!” “Master!” and he what gets yelled back.

  162. 162.

    susan

    Dozer?

    Bubba?

    Teddy?

    Tank?

    Gordo?

    Kimbo?

    Chief?

    Or, Willoughby after one of my sweet boyz.

  165. 165.

    dexwood

    I have two or three suggestions, but then I thought, fuck it. He’s your cat and you two will work it out. As it should be.

  170. 170.

    Sandia Blanca

    Am I the only one who called this name change? Right on schedule, Cole always does this. (Remember all of Rosie’s names, and Zsa Zsa’s?) So I vote for Mr. Itoldyouso.

  175. 175.

    Mnemosyne

    As other posters have alluded to, make sure to bellow it at the top of your lungs a few times to test out how it’s going to sound to the neighbors when you’re driving around in the rain looking for him.

  176. 176.

    Mnemosyne

    On cat names:

    In her book God Said Ha!, Julia Sweeney has a story about standing out at the end of her driveway calling for her cat Frank to come in.

    A man walks up to her and says, “Fine, I’m here, what do you want?”

    She says, “Excuse me?”

    He says, “You stand out here every night yelling my name. ‘Frank! Frank!’ So what the hell do you want?”

    She debated not telling him the truth and pretending that she really had been calling him, but he looked too upset, so she explained that he and her cat shared a name.

  180. 180.

    YellowJournalism

    If he’s as much of a lover as you say, then call him Don Juan. Don for short.

  181. 181.

    mena

    First post ever, on what i hope isn’t a dead thread. He looks like a Yussuf or a Heathcliff. Or maybe my favorite – Mendoza. Definitely an alpha.

  182. 182.

    Loneoak

    If Boss is ill fitting, go with a good union name. Since you’re in coal country, John Llewelyn Lewis would be a good choice: Llewelyn or Lew. Maybe Eugene for Debs. Joe Hill perhaps.

  184. 184.

    WDS

    Um….John, the way he has already wrapped you around his finger – OK tail and some other things you’ve said … Boss seems like a pretty accurate name ….ROFL
    However, that said …Maybe Boss-x Nova (spelling very deliberate friends) might work?

  185. 185.

    Nicole

    @Omnes Omnibus: Well, sure, if he calls him POPE Francis.

    And now I have an uncontrollable case of the giggles at the mental image of a cat named Pope Francis.

  187. 187.

    Beeb

    I think Boss already told you what his name is when he answered to Boss. But on the off chance that he was responding to “here, kitty kitty,” perhaps Buckaroo, Buck for short? It isn’t too far from his original name and it will fit nicely on a T shirt.

  188. 188.

    The Fat Kate Middleton

    @Suzanne: Well, if her hair deprived husband is anything like mine, he’s insisting she NOT CUT IT. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this – and how many of my female friends hear this from their older guys – and guess what? I cut it.

  189. 189.

    Culture of Truth

    Who charms everyone?

    Bubba?

    or The Big Dog. Because that would be funny.

    *please not’ the clenis’

  190. 190.

    The Fat Kate Middleton

    @SIA: Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for destroying my mental images of him carefully reading EVERY comment and taking notes while he does.

  191. 191.

    KS in MA

    @atlliberal: “If he likes Boss, then why not keep it?”

    Agreed. What do you know about his former life (except that he was abandoned by some jerk who called him Bugger)? Maybe he’s spent his entire life wishing somebody would call him Boss.

  192. 192.

    Leslie

    Yep, what Beeb said; he already told you his name. So that’s not what needs to change; you just need to let go of the negative connotations. He’s the Pharaoh of Fur, the Sultan of Sweetness, the undisputed Alpha of Affection. He will love you, and you will submit to him, because he is the Boss.

  198. 198.

    Suzanne

    @The Fat Kate Middleton: Mr. Suzanne (who, like Wills of Windsor) likes long hair, too. Showed major apprehension when I said I wanted to chop it. I cut it, and he likes it. I am not anti-long hair. Hell, she could even keep it long and stop wearing it in the Breck girl curls at the bottom once in a while. But shorter styles are more modern and bold. Long hair feels very high school to me. Very conventional. I would think someone as fashion-conscious as Kate would be more adventurous in her look.

  202. 202.

    deBO

    Had to delurk for this… Baggins. And he has a song I wrote just for him (OK, maybe I wrote it for my late most awesomest Bilbo)… sung to the tune of the Flintstones…

    Baggins! Baggins Baggins
    He’s the biggest Baggins in the world
    Cuz he’s
    such a Baggins
    He’s the biggest Baggins in the world.
    Let’s ride
    With the Baggins down the street
    Through the
    Courtesy of Baggins’ four feet
    Baggins
    Baggins Baggins
    He’s the biggest Baggins in the world

    My gift to you. You’re welcome. Long live Tunch.

  203. 203.

    Jackie

    Without looking at all previous name suggestions…. How about Buddy. As like “My Buddy and Me.” He’s adorable. I loved the name “the Boss,” but if that isn’t right, and he still answers to the “B” part of name… Hey, Buddy… Who’s my Buddy… My Buddy and me… Bubba (that sounds like a football player name ;) )

    Just a thought. You’ll pick the right name and we’ll all be happy with whatever you ultimately choose.

    Jackie

  210. 210.

    Wayners T

    My previous rec was Augustus, Gus, Gussie, or Auggie for short. I’m sticking by that.

  212. 212.

    dance around in your bones

    All I can say is that all of my cats had multiple names, nicknames and monikers. I don’t think it ever mattered to them what they were called ……. remember that New Yorker cartoon where the dog heard his human saying “blah blah blah Roscoe! blah blah blah”
    and the cat heard his human say “blah blah blah blah blah blah” ?

    It’s all in how you say it, and I think you’ve got that nailed, JGC.

  214. 214.

    Ann Marie

    I second the suggestion that Boss become Bruce. I particularly like the idea of you driving around looking for him at night by yelling “BRUUUUCE”.

  218. 218.

    JustRuss

    We got a new cat a while ago, and my sister in law and her kids came to visit yesterday and got here while we were still gone. They didn’t know the cat’s name, so they started him Jo-Jo. It’s growing on me, but feel free to take it for The Cat With No Name.

  219. 219.

    eddie blake

    i’m new.. ish

    and i suppose i don’t draw a lot of water…

    but i vote for

    Ludo…

    as in from labyrinth, with the rock-friends, and the beautiful green eyes and huge mitts…

  232. 232.

    Ms. D. Ranged in AZ

    Lover was the first thing that popped into my head but that’s kind of pedestrian. So names that actually mean, are a derivative of or reference the term love? Philo (from Phillip), Ceiro (Welsh), Rastus or just Ras (Greek?), Amo (Latin/Spanish), Ferdinand (Shakespeare), Lufian (Anglo)…My favs are Ras, Philo and Loof (short for Lufian).

  235. 235.

    fidelio

    If Cole weren’t such a die-hard Steelers fan, I’d suggest naming the new guy Sweetness, for the late great Walter Payton.

  236. 236.

    gratuitous

    My best friend had a polydactyl cat growing up. His name was Boris. In light of the extremely remote possibility that the new royal baby will have that name, there is something to be said for recycling a dynastic name, and honoring a fine cat from by-gone days.

  238. 238.

    Original Lee

    @Suzanne: Possibly she is the one who likes long hair. And while it’s not fashionable, she at least looks different than the other royals. After having the kid grab a fistful and yanking, she will probably go to a shorter cut anyway.

  240. 240.

    LongHairedWeirdo

    You can call him what you like (“as long as it’s not late for dinner”), but before you discard Boss, check out some old Springsteen. If it still doesn’t work, change away.

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