Sweet jeebus, what have I gotten myself into?
It’s like there was a switch flipped on Steve about 36 hours ago, and man, what have I gotten myself into? He is just vocalizing like crazy, and for basically all of last week I thought he was a mute. This chirpy little monkey has the most pathetic meow I have ever heard, but there has to be Siamese in his blood line, because he walks around following me everywhere chirping up a storm. I seriously will be a contender in the kitty slalom by 2014, because instead of DWTS, it’s more like Dancing With the Fat Man and His Cat. I take a step, he swishes between my legs, I take another step, he reverses, etc. I pity my health insurance provider.
He’s been on my lap all day every chance he could get, and now, the gate is pretty much a formality. Rosie doesn’t even pay attention to him anymore, but I know JRT’s and am not letting my guard down for six months at the least. Every time I leave the house I make sure the boss is in his room with the door shut.
Oh- and he is also infatuated with running water. Whenever I flush a commode, he’ll almost knock me over to get to the rim of the toilet to watch the water swirl around. He also jumps in the tub to watch the water go down the drain when I start it up, before pulling the plug to start the shower. This love of water is going to provide me with some life-altering split second decisions in the future, I am sure.
This morning I woke up at 6:30, and Steve was playing with my fingers. Even though he has these massive mitts as a polydactyl, he grabs my hand with his front paws, and it is so soft the only thing I can compare it to is a baby grabbing your finger. So then I pet him, and he bites me.
I was taking a nap this afternoon, and I woke up because I thought I felt a feather on my face. Turns out Steve had jumped up onto the bed without me noticing (THIS NEVER HAPPENED WITH TUNCH- when Tunch jumped up it felt like someone had dropped a dumbbell on the bed), and had climbed up the backboard to the bed, and balanced his back legs on it then elevated up to have his paws on the windowsill to look out and watch the birds.
The feather I felt on my face was his twitching tail.
I’ll have pictures soon of all the kids, but right now I am just focused on creating a new normal and haven’t been harassing the pets with photo shoots.
Oh, and it has only been two weeks, but I can feel when he has come in a room and is looking at me even though I heard nothing. I always knew when Tunch was in the room with me- I could feel him looking at me just like I know Steve is underneath the desk to my right wondering what all those clicking sounds are as I type.
*** Update ***
Steve got a package today from one of your cats, and it had a massive bag of weapons grade catnip and a couple toys, and this note:
Normally I would think nothing of this, but my cat now has thumbs and oh, by the way, can open doors if you don’t shut them all the way. Also too, this:
A gang of feral cats in France attacked a woman and her poodle, forcing both victims to seek medical attention for their injuries.
The cat-attack occurred Sunday (July 21) near the city of Belfort in eastern France. The 31-year-old woman was walking her dog near a wooded area when six felines set upon her, knocking her to the ground, The Independent reports.
The victim was treated for injuries at a nearby hospital where she was also given an injection for rabies. Her poodle was treated at a nearby veterinary clinic.
I’m going to have to keep an eye on this one. He has the same murderous intent in his eyes as Tunch, but I think this one would follow through even if it meant waking up from a nap.
B Lehmann
He’s talking because he knows that you are listening.
Comrade Mary
24 hour webcam. Problem solved.
(Sounds like Steve feels totally at home. Well done!)
Mike in NC
So, not a thread about Eric Cantor then.
melissaD
wonderfully written episode, and it is a salve to the hurt of the loss of Tunch. Steve is quite the boy.
Southern Beale
That’s a Maine Coon thing. They’re really chatty when they’re happy. Be glad, it’s a good sign.
As I’ve mentioned before, our Quinn has a thing for these little foam soccer balls, just the blue ones. Not yellow, not green. He picks the blue ones out from the rest. And he walks around the house with a blue ball in his mouth just caterwauling like crazy. He carries them to the bedroom and makes interesting little patterns on our bed with them. It’s hilarious. His artistry is always accompanied by the song stylings of Quinn, too.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Yay. Another day of 96 and humid. At least the smog has lifted enough that I can see about five blocks.
Jacks mom
You are a prince among men Mr Cole. Cried so hard about Tunch and am smiling so much about Steve
Southern Beale
Oh ditto on the water thing. Quinn hangs out in our shower all the time.
Mnemosyne
Some Maine Coon cats like water. If you get one of those plastic kiddie pools and put it in your backyard, he may surprise you by taking a swim.
Poopyman
@Mike in NC: A non-ironic title. Who coulda knowed?
Sounds like Steve has the standard issue male MC voice, but he’s a bit more talkative than mine. He might settle down after he’s had his say. Time will tell.
And you’ll get used to that tail in no time.
My Lily is rubbing her Siamese-like head on the laptop as I type this, and she ALWAYS has something to say, but it’s a squeaky voice instead of Siamese.
YellowJournalism
Hahahaha! Tunch is getting to you from beyond the grave. He sent Steve as an assassin. He’s killing you with Steve’s kindness!
RSA
@Southern Beale:
Our mix has a much higher-pitched meow than I’d expected–not much different from when he was a kitten, even though he’s pushing 15 pounds at three years old now. (Not Tunch-class, but hefty enough.)
Yatsuno
@YellowJournalism:
It would be irresponsible not to speculate, and such.
WereBear
Our Reverend Jim took YEARS to find his Maine Coon voice, (evidence in an abuse case,) but now he just loves asking for dinner, and ringing the bells to our apartment door when he wants to come in. (We are in a frozen North apartment building with airlocks, he can’t get out.)
My first Maine Coon had what I called a “squirrel voice.” They are adorable; these big tanks o’ cats, and this little chirpy voice.
CatHairEverywhere
Our giant, fluffy, polydactyl boy Jones does lots of vocalizing, usually in a very demanding tone, accompanied by intense looks. He kind of sounds like a sheep. It’s hilarious- sometimes he’ll go on for what seems like several sentences. He stares at the treat jar and gripes and gripes. Sometimes I have to remind him that he looks exactly like the kitty I just gave a treat to, and no I don’t believe he has a twin, so there will not be more forthcoming for a while. He really complains then. Steve sounds like a great boy- I love a kitty with a big personality. I am so glad his previous owners didn’t appreciate him so Tunch could send him to you.
Shakezula
My current brace of cats is really quiet compared to the vocalist I had for 15 years. I miss the chatter, so enjoy. This cat would also hop in the shower and, provided the water didn’t fall directly on him, would sit there and scold me about my unnatural bathing habits.
@Southern Beale: Pictures, please.
Anne Laurie
@Southern Beale:
And if Quinn’s like the MCs I’ve known, he’s got a really deep raspy purr and a ridiculous little squeaky chirp /meow. I call it the Tom Selleck Voice — such a high pitch for such macho dudes!
jl
@Comrade Mary: I like the webcam idea.
Bu I didn’t know there ever was a normal with Cole’s pets. Cole’s memory is playing tricks on him.
Old Proverb/Curse: May you ever own interesting cats. And only interesting cats.
parsimon
I take a step, he swishes between my legs, I take another step, he reverses, etc. I pity my health insurance provider.
Huh. My household’s new cat does this, and I’ve never encountered it before in cat behavior: he’s already taken me down once, by swishing between my legs when I didn’t see him coming. As I was carrying a bowl of soup at the time, I endeavored to save the soup … which didn’t work out well. Down she goes! Dammit!
pat
@Southern Beale:
Susy loves her red furry balls.. Not the blue ones, not the yellow ones, not the gray ones, just the red ones. In the middle of the night she will carry the red fur ball down the hall or into the bedroom, talking to it as she goes. Lord knows what goes through her tiny brain at that time….
bemused
The hell with photos. There must be Steve video with audio of his chirping.
Get Steve a set of plastic spring cat toys that come in a multipack of bright colors. Our kitties love them. They carry and bat them around, the springs disappear and suddenly reappear. Sadly, we have had to put the springs and most of the kitty toys in another room since we got a puppy that can’t be trusted not to eat them.
The Dangerman
@jl:
Fine idea in concept, but the funniest and most predictable viewing of the cat is after the Master flushes; if the Master forgets when to actually have that camera running, I see all sorts of potential problems with that particular point of view.
Shakezula
@parsimon: I thought every cat enjoyed a round of biped leg obstacle course. (The round is over when either player dies.)
different-church-lady
All cats have murderous intent.
Speaking of which: can anyone shed some light on why one day a cat who loves everything about the bathroom is suddenly acting like he’s afraid of it — like there’s a ghost in there or something.
Madeline
A long time ago, I had a cat named Jenny who was also fascinated by the toilet. She ended up teaching herself to how use it, which was very,very handy. Except we never could teach her to flush.
SuzieC
That’s so hilarious. Does Steve swish between your legs while you’re descending the stairs? That’s a whole different level of weapons-grade cat technique. Our cat is also fascinated with the flushing toilet and runs into the bathroom every time. He also leaps onto my lap while I’m, ahem, sitting on the throne. I find it embarrassing, even though it’s only a cat that is observing me.
Diana
@bemused: Amen. Audio and video!
NotMax
@bemused
Friend of mine who is a cat person swears that the set of plush caltrops I foisted on him some years ago as a joke (he’s really, really into weaponry – even makes his own chain mail), though never marketed as such, are the best cat toy ever. Whichever way they land, they’re always upright and positioned for another swat.
Info
Hard to still find for sale, but this site says they still have some in stock.
MomSense
@Southern Beale:
I was going to say the same–my Maine Coon follows me around chirping and is crazy about running water.
bemused
Our kitties like to stick out a paw and try to grab a leg when we walk by them. Sometimes, I will feel a quick tap on my back leg or rear and turn around to see one of them scampering away pretending she didn’t do it.
Suzanne
@Mnemosyne: My dearly departed Maine Coon mix was very fussy about water. Certainly would not swim. However, my mother’s Snowshoe cat will only drink from the faucet, and the damn cat has trained my two to do the same thing.
Suzanne
@bemused: One of my cats will jump onto you from a distance. Right onto the shoulders. Every once in a while, though, she’d jump right into the top of my head. And eject her claws while trying to hang on.
And to think that we spent hundreds of dollars saving her life.
Jill
I have seen my cat, a grey tabby mutt, pick up a single piece of rice with his paw/claws, and place it in his mouth. I’m a little worried that he can do this despite the lack of opposable thumbs….
Roger Moore
Shorter Cole: I gave my cat the drugs a random stranger sent me in the mail, and now his personality has changed. Hoocoodanode?!
NotMax
@Notmax
Same friend, by the way, mentioned in the Cats & Cthulhu anecdote I once posted.
For those who might never have seen it, here.
burnspbesq
OT: if you were waiting for the last, irrefutable piece of evidence that Weiner is toast, wait no longer.
milb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20130729&content_id=55160146&fext=.jsp&vkey=news_t3410&…
bemused
@NotMax:
Oh yeah, they would love these.
They are indoor cats but still have the hunting urge and will haul things up from the basement as if they have been hunting mice and are showing us their prey. We had a box of painting supplies out for a project and one kept bringing up paint rollers and depositing them neatly on a throw rug.
Someone gave me a gag gift of a two foot doll called Domestic Diva dressed in pink, pearls and shades that plays “I’m a Woman” when her hand is pressed. I had no idea what to do with it so I parked it in a craft room in the basement. One morning after I woke up I walked out into the living room to see this doll sitting upright exactly in the center of the sofa. Hilarious kitties.
Yatsuno
Note to opie_jeane: JB Shuck of the Angels is kinda adorable.
soylentH
I can’t wait for more pictures of Steve! My old roommate had a female Maine Coon, would demand to be let out quite rudely, and she would make her moderate her meow before she would let her out, which she would do. One of the smartest cats I’ve ever met.
bemused
@Suzanne:
Ouch. Thankfully, these two kitties are reluctant to put out their claws. They don’t even do that when the puppy is wild and has cornered them. They growl, spit and bat at the pup but still haven’t given her the claws.
PhoenixRising
Never, in all the times I’ve been set upon by feral cats, have I been able to accurately count them.
Course, maybe if I’d brought along a poodle, between us we’d have them enumerated. But that’s the suspicious aspect of this tale, from experience.
(Had a neighbor who was the crazy cat lady. She would slit open a bag of Meow Mix on her porch every Friday and we had one-eyed, orange kittens limping all over the backyards to get there. Took a restraining order and her grandsons’ intervention to clear the colony, but meanwhile my dogs and sometimes person were assailed in the dark at least once a month.)
joel hanes
My cooperative-living house in college had two cats, and central heating and insulation that was somewhat inadequate for the depths of an Iowa winter.
One of the cats would come in every morning while I was showering, climb up on the edge of the tub outside the fanfold shower door, and drop his tail through the triangular opening into the enclosure, apparently to get it soaked with steaming hot water.
A few years later I lived for a while in a California place with a beautiful redwood hot tub adjoining the deck. Our tabby tom “Bill The” would join us at the tub, lazing on the deck with both front paws in the water.
Roger Moore
@PhoenixRising:
It’s possible that six is just a good faith estimate of the number of cats involved. Or that they sidled up to her slowly enough that she could count them in an attempt to lure her into complaisance; that seems like typical feline hunting behavior.
Guest
Maine coons often can’t meow, but they trill. They can be very vocal – all three of mine are. My youngest has an understandable vocabulary of about five different trills:
Let me out!
I’m bored.
Come play with me?
Where are you?!
And the one that’s most alarming to hear when you can’t see her: the battle cry. It precedes a break-neck charge at some toy or imaginary prey, during which it’s best to just freeze in place until she’s raced by.
As you’re finding out, MCs are often very dog-like, especially in their expressions of affection and attentiveness to their human minions. And while many are fascinated by water, they don’t usually like to do more than play *with* it, not *in* it.
Maine coons do have personality to burn!
gogol's wife
Your story about his desire to watch the toilet flush reminds me that my very first cat, beloved Buddy, all black except for a tiny white spot on his chest, used to do that. It was so funny.
Gex
Just as I had predicted from my Maine Coon experience. Started out sort of quiet. Quickly learned to love the sound of his own voice.
And whatever you do, do not run a dribble of water out of the faucet for him to drink from. Kate had done that with one of our cats, who from then on deemed all other water inferior and would hound us for faucet water.
I wanted to post a link to a video of that cat, but I can’t find it now.
Roger Moore
@gogol’s wife:
My cat Jake loves to watch the toilet flush. He’s always startled by the noise when I flush it, but after that he loves to watch the water swirling out of the bowl.
Odie Hugh Manatee
I figured that your new guy would warm up to your mean ol’ ass in no time at all. Enjoy your conversations, may they be many and varied. :)
You’re one damned funny guy Cole.
/thumbs up!
@different-church-lady:
Cats are jerks!
Jay
Watch the cat like a hawk when he hangs out around your tub, Cole. I’ve had a couple bad experiences with cats crapping in mine…
farmette
Steve is nothing but smart and thankful. Like you, he’s testing the waters and being himself. My feral/home cat is more touchy. But you learn and live and all is good.
Suzanne
@Gex: I don’t think the love of faucet water is exclusively a Maine Coon thing. Both of mine do it, and they’re shorthairs.
Gex
@Suzanne: Oh yeah, that is actually a different cat. I meant to tell him that because of the water fascination, not the Maine Coon-ness of Steve.
I’m really bummed I didn’t find that video of the cat with the faucet.
Suzanne
@Guest: My Nico (the best cat ever) had the funniest meow. It sounded like she was saying “ear, ear, ear”. She had this very hoarse voice, like she had been smoking cigarettes for years. She was a Maine Coon/Persian mix….giant Maine Coon ruff on short little Persian legs. Hilarious.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Gex:
This one?
lojasmo
My fourth rescued cat sucks. That is all.
PurpleGirl
There is a progression to the toys you give Steve. Soft little balls and springs, in lots of different colors, are perfect first toys. Then things like small fuzzy mice, and beaded thingys. Later you can get him something like the Mewniverse (has an arch he can climb and a pole with some fuzzy balls hanging from arms that he can bat around).
A good source for this is John’s kitten cam. John has a set order in which he introduces toys to his fosters. The current group (mom cat and 4 kittens) are names for characters in the Looney Tunes cartoons.
new.livestream.com/FosterKittenCam/TheLooneyFosters?origin=New%20Event%20Published&mixpanel_id=…
tesslibrarian
@Southern Beale: my MC mix preferred the green ones. We’d also find them in our bed, but in the morning, sometimes between our pillows.
FreeAtLast
The neighbor who lives above my apartment has a Maine Coon. This guy is a teacher and often is away for weeks at a time during summer break. He sees to it that the cat is fed and watered but does not provide anyone to socialize with him. This leads to the cat vocalizing in a very plaintive voice all night, every night. One summer the MC got his revenge and totally trashed and smelled-up his owner’s patio. You seem like a different kind of pet owner, John, but be warned that your boss has it in his nature to be quite vindictive.
Just Some Fuckhead
It’s well known that lavender can increase estrogen levels in a male’s body; perhaps it is also having a deliterious effect on your cat.
reality-based
my archie – companion to Edith the Fetching Maniac – has been fascinated with water since birth – he wants the bathroom sink filled for him to drink from and splashi in at least three times a day, but in the summer, he LOVES his bucket – a square, low, two gallon pail that is evidently at optimal splashing height – it sits on the deck, we fill it to the brim, and he yells to go out so he can splash in his bucket for hours –
– and he’s not a maine coon, he’s a charcoal tabby domestic shorthair, beautiful, with a profile like Winston Churchill – and the only comedian cat I have every owned. I swear, he makes jokes – its like living with a feline slapstick borscht belt comedian.
Just Some Fuckhead
You cut his nuts off, got him hooked on catnip and lavender and then started grooming him nightly. It won’t be long before Steve is singing show tunes and watching Bravo.
Ted & Hellen
@Just Some Fuckhead:
Or Lifetime, if he’s really hard core.
Eric S.
Ozzie was also fascinated with running water when I first got him. While he hasn’t lost complete interest he’s much less interested now. However, I often have an audience on top of the shower door more often than not.
BethanyAnne
@Gex: Suli had me trained to leave the bathtub dripping for her. I knew it was technically wasting water, but it beat hearing her sing at me. And when her kidneys started failing, it was a blessing to have a source of water that attracted her.
merrinc
I haven’t been around for several weeks and when I saw you referring to Tunch in the past tense, I did a search and goddamn. Been sitting here bawling for the last 10 minutes. I’m so sorry, John.
But so glad you have Steve now. I do firmly believe that the felines who have moved on reach out to us through the new ones we take into our lives. We lost our Simba last month and two weeks later brought home a Siamese mix. While she very much has her own personality and habits, every now and then she’ll do something that is EXACTLY like Sim would do. Call me a sentimental, new-agey fool, I don’t care. But those we love never leave us. Hugs to you and Steve and the pooches.
Thymezone
John, the cat thinks you are his mother. Just enjoy it.
My twenty pounder, who is part Maine Coon and a dead ringer for your new cat, makes that same sound … it is an eerie cry that sounds like “I am dying, good bye cruel world.” I have never been able to discern any pattern to the behavior. I think it’s just something they do.
ixnay
Watch out, John – I can’t quite believe nobody has posted this link yet (if it doesn’t show up as clickable, forgive me: it is late and I am html incompetent).
youtube.com/watch?v=cXDD3JN4FGQ
grishaxxx
I looked up Maine Coons on Wiki back when Steve was The Boss (which made me think he was going to be running the Cole Machine in jig time, which is still possible….). However, he seems to be displaying all the typical traits and behaviors of the breed (as attested above) and, wow, to me it seems the most perfect fit for John Cole, Esq. Plus, that Tunch patch – that’s magic!
Ferdzy
Re: cats and water, Canada has a famous swimming cat these days. Here’s a youtube video about Momo and Kevan escaping from a flood:
youtube.com/watch?v=xnZc8MKkrwI
lou
Our new guy did the same thing when we took him in (he was a stray in the neighborhood). He was an intact male and his first couple of weeks, he stayed on the corner of the bed except when eating or pooping. Then the crying started because he wanted to go outside and find some girl-cat action. After he was fixed, he still likes to talk. He announces himself when he jumps on the bed. He announces when he’s finished eating. He announces himself when he enters a room. He’ll talk to you when you pet him.
Our late cat was a quiet girl, so it’s something to get used to.
They both love/d running between my legs in the morning down the staircase to go get food.
Mike in DC
I have never had so much pride as when I would see my (now deceased) orange MC mix’s butt rise majestically from the toilet bowl.
He would also take his kitty toys, meow with them in his mouth as he would carry them from room to room. At night, he would collect all of his kitty toys and put them on the bed, usually next to me.
What a strange, fantastic cat.
peggy
Cole, you are amazing. Laughed out loud, yes, for real.
May the Boss rule forever. All hail!
Paul in KY
@Madeline: Read about a guy who got his cat to use flush. Problem was the cat would push it all the time & then just watch the water go round.
Be careful what you wish for…
Peej
One of my previous cats learned how to flush the toilet just so he could see the water swirl and go down. I started keeping the lid closed because of that.
tagged45
I think the cat started talking because he needed to say, “Dude, where are my balls? For the love of God they took my BALLS!”
TRex
Hey, John, my cats love, love, love their drinkwell fountain.
petco.com/product/114527/Drinkwell-360-Stainless-Steel-Pet-Fountain.aspx
TRex
Hey, John, my cats love, love, love their drinkwell fountain.
petco.com/product/114527/Drinkwell-360-Stainless-Steel-Pet-Fountain.aspx
kindness
Our kitten likes to play in our yard sprinkler. She’ll come in soaked and doesn’t seem to mind. I see her in it and she’s out there chasing the streams of water. Not sure if I hope this is just a kitten thing or if I should sign her up for swimming lessons.
Paul in KY
@kindness: Unusual behavoir. Bet a video of it would be really cute.
Luci
My Goldie has a little stuffed moose that she hauls around while she cries and howls like she’s being killed. :-s I always think something is wrong… until i see the moose, which usually she wants to deposit on the bed. That satisfies her, and off she goes. It’s very odd I think. ;)
Bulworth
So Boss is now Steve? I go away for a couple of days and I miss so much….
kindness
@Paul in KY: Yea that’s all the world needs, another cat video. You are right of course but I doubt I’ll do it. I’m more of the moment rather than planning ahead when it comes to my critters play habits.
lojasmo
@different-church-lady:
Because there is a ghost in your bathroom. You’re welcome.
Paul in KY
@kindness: I’m just full of good ideas like that!
Deb T
Yeah, I’ve got a talking cat that doesn’t show a smidge of Siamese, but you never know. She is a black longhair – at least when it’s cold. All the long hair falls out in warmer weather. When I get home from work, she bounds to meet me, already telling me about her day. She demands to be petted a little, and I always try to pull out more loose hair (The furminator has helped but I swear, she’s just got too much damn hair). On the other hand, her coat is soft as down. When she comes in from outside, she often announces herself. She’ll sit on her perch in the hallway where she can make eye contact with me as I watch TV, and yowls at me. Also, she as many cats do, prefers drinking running water. So sometimes she’s yelling for me to turn the faucet on.
My other cat is not as much a talker but he can be fierce when he disagrees with me or wants something I won’t give him (usually my dinner). He’ll growl and even attack and bite (not breaking the skin however). But later he’s a sweet baby boy who just wants to nuzzle and cuddle and be stroked. I’ve never had such a Jeckyl and Hyde cat. before. I’ve had him from 6 weeks old and he’s always had the same nature.
Okay, guess I just needed to share my cat stories.
mrmike
My dear departed MC (who was a female brown mackerel tabby not unlike The Steve) used to sit on her kitty tree by the window and chirp at the birds. Murp, Murp, Meep, Meep, Heh, Heh. She’d also cough at me to get me to do things (Stare at the door or the food bowl and do a guttural cough like a cougar or a bobcat does). She was totally silent when hunting though.
She also loved water (didn’t mind a bath and would play with any standing water or running water)