Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

He really is that stupid.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

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128Comments

  3. 3.

    YellowJournalism

    My house is too quiet with no kids in it. And the heat. It’s 81 in my house. I’d rather be cold and snuggle under a ton of blankets, at least until winter when I decide I would rather be too warm while sitting in front of a cool fan.

  7. 7.

    JordanRules

    This grey matter between me ears is usually the culprit.

    Oh and thanks Betty C. for that incredible thread of human everything earlier.

  8. 8.

    spudgun

    Indigestion. And the DVR. And the thought that I have to go to work tomorrow at a job I loathe.

  9. 9.

    Little Boots

    @Lee:

    if nothing else,

    it is a good place to wait.

    don’t have kids. does any teenager actually come home for curfew? I never did.

  11. 11.

    Greg

    Because I hate sleeping and wish I never had to. Every minute I sleep is just wasted time that could be better used for reading or learning or listening to music or just enjoying the beautiful night sky.

  15. 15.

    spudgun

    @YellowJournalism: I wish I could send you some of our weather – where I live right now we’re experiencing a VERY strange cold snap (when it’s usually in the 90s during the day and not much cooler at night because my old apartment just stores up that damn heat). I’ve actually been sleeping with the blankets on the last few nights!

  16. 16.

    spudgun

    @Little Boots: Yeah, I don’t sleep very well during the week – I think I only sleep well on Friday and Saturday nights. Sundays are the WORST…

  26. 26.

    Mary G

    HBM is watching Star Trek on Netflix and I am doing some boring work I have been procrastinating on forever and beating myself up about, because good example?

  30. 30.

    spudgun

    @Little Boots: Hmm, internwebs keep me up even later, so unfortunately it doesn’t work for me. I usually end up falling asleep in front of the TV watching Adult Swim.

  35. 35.

    johnny aquitard

    Eight-year-old daughter sleeps so soundly she doesn’t awaken when she has to pee. We got this alarm sensor thing that’s supposed to awaken her when she starts to wet the bed. It doesn’t always awaken her but it does wakes me or Ms. A up. Tonight it woke me up, I took the little girl to the bathroom, then got her dry undies and she went back to sleep. And now I’m totally awake now and can’t sleep.

    Damn I hate that frikkin’ alarm.

  36. 36.

    Jebediah

    I’m partially still up because I just saw the Higg’s Bosons Mate thread and am now really, really glad I didn’t see it till after seeing that a very wonderful individual went and grabbed him…
    and I am going to finish this bowl and watch some tube before wasting several minutes sleeping.

  40. 40.

    Little Boots

    and damn, spudgun, the eighties.

    wait, that’s nostalgia now, isn’t it?

    oh, god.

  43. 43.

    spudgun

    @Steeplejack: Hurrah, someone else who knows Matt Bianco! As for Basia, absolutely, I have “Time and Tide”, which was her first album – she’s an amazing vocalist.

  45. 45.

    Suzanne

    Earlier, I invited Mr. Suzanne to get on me by saying, “Please proceed, Governor”.

    I hang out here too much.

  47. 47.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    They’re predicting drizzle tonight and tomorrow night, figures, I washed my car today.

  53. 53.

    johnny aquitard

    And another thing, since I’m wide awake now… what the hell is it with the mobile site/regular site switch not working? I hate positively hate fucking mobile sites. Especially the balloon-juice mobile site. And I can’t switch it to the regular site. I’m using an iPad and when I click the mobile Off switch at the bottom of the page, and it reloads, and…nothing happens.

    This is recent behavior, although I have had this problem before on this site. And BTW, only on this site.

    Also,since I’m tired and sleepless and cranky, why isn’t the commenting form remembering my username and email address? It’s not a biggie to retype it in but that tells me something is mucked up with the site.

  56. 56.

    johnny aquitard

    P.S. This borked site also tells me ‘error blah blah blah’ when I submit my comments and I have to hit Cancel to close the commenting window, but when I refresh I see my comment was posted.

  59. 59.

    johnny aquitard

    What it says is “comment publication failed. Blah blah blah…”, not ‘error…’

    And yet it publishes the comment.

  63. 63.

    ruemara

    @Mary G: Glad you’re on this thread, because I want to send blessings and hugs out to you both

    I’m up, because I really have no idea what to do. I can do a hard job, a busy job, but the mindless boredom of my new posting is painful. I’m done in 2 hours, on average and then I’m itching for things to do. And after 2 decades in advertising, running machines, crafting ads, editing video, brainstorming ideas and writing them-sorting the mail, applying postage and making copies is not exactly challenging. But I’m all out of drive to apply for anything, since I’m a rejection lightning rod. Why? I don’t know. I may have 10 months to get another job, I may have 5. Unfortunately, I’m just out of ideas and energy. Which means I’m up.

  69. 69.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    Hmmm, the President isn’t staying in Beverly Hills this time, he’s in Woodland Hills tonight.

  81. 81.

    spudgun

    @Steeplejack: Yes, I did too, but my boss, who used to play sax in a ska band in the 80s, is so anti-Style Council (“how could Paul Weller do that after The Jam?!?!? sellout!”) that I’ve been trained not to bring up their name in any conversation.

    *guilty secret: I like Style Council.*

  94. 94.

    Steeplejack

    Okay, I’ve got to nip this right here or I’ll be up until the break of day.

    Deidre Wilson Tabac, “I Can’t Keep from Crying Sometimes.”

    The first time I heard this song was when someone substituted it as the audio for this clip from the old movie I Am Cuba. It worked very well, and now the “real” music sounds fake to me. Go figure. And of course the mash-up video was forced off YouTube. Grr!

    Okay, last one: the Lovin’ Spoonful, “Coconut Grove” (with a nice video).

  96. 96.

    Keith P

    Been sleeping most of the day (took the day off work to deal with tonsillitis…entire damn office has been coming to work sick, and it finally got to me). Now I’m just waiting for my clonidine to kick in so I can go back to sleep (where I get to be a Viking!)

  100. 100.

    Jason

    I’m shocked that no one’s brought up tonight’s Colbert. I think I’ve watched it five times. It was one of the most brilliant things he’s ever done!

  102. 102.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Jason: Watched Leno with the O-Man tonight. I’ll catch TDS and Colbert rerun in 30 minutes. Sounds like something to look forward to then.

    ETA: I’m really not looking forward to the return of Jon Stewart.

  104. 104.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    @Jason:

    Colbchella ’013! It was one of his best shows ever. I alerted my friend who always watches it early the next evening.

  105. 105.

    seaboogie

    @Mary G: Good on ya, Mary G, and HBM too. Everybody just trying to get through another night…

    Surveyed this joint and said to myself, “Wow, it looks like a really depressed person lives here!”, and finally got a couple of loads of laundry and the dishes done, laid a humane mouse-trap loaded with really good peanut butter, and hoping to free the adorable little beasties into the great out-of-doors very soon.

    Keep passing the open windows, you two – and me and everyone else who knows what that means…

  106. 106.

    hamletta

    People piss me right the fuck off!

    Also, C-I-L-L my lan-lawd.

    I’m moving back to Maryland, where the Obamacare is real, and crabs!

  107. 107.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    Waiting for the rebroadcast of TDS and Colbert. Leno did a really good interview of the President.

  108. 108.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @hamletta: A tad bit pissed at my lan-lawd too. The folk next door moved out and they’re doing work on the place to rent it out. Put a bunch of shit in the trash can, which I have to take out to the street. It’s f-ing heavy. AND, went to wash my car and the sprayer on the hose was broken, and the spare missing. It’s my hose and sprayer. Fuckers!!!

  110. 110.

    Another Holocene Human

    Everything keeps me up, fuck it.

    My ADD is a bear. If I’m laid back I can sleep but not focus, if I focus it’s norepinephrine time and sleep is a distant memory. I can’t square this circle….

  111. 111.

    Another Holocene Human

    @Mary G: You are a hero, and nobody who hasn’t done it really knows. I missed everything but the aftermatch. Smooches, kiddo.

  112. 112.

    seaboogie

    @hamletta: Well, I guess if you have crabs you are going to need Obamacare, or at least some ointment of some sort! Or maybe tartar sauce…

  116. 116.

    seaboogie

    @hamletta: kind of aioli girl myself….and I got me some crab tools now – for the west coast dungeness. I find if you put the work in on the front end, then you can sit back and enjoy some wine and the sweet fruits of your labor after. Plus my star sign is Cancer, so when I feel crabby, it’s legit.

  117. 117.

    hamletta

    @seaboogie:
    You are obviously a horrible guy who is fooling no-one.

    You should probably give up right now.

    You will never get laid because you are a horrible person who lies.

  118. 118.

    seaboogie

    @hamletta: Well…I am a woman – and what exactly is your problem? I thought that we were having a repartee about crustaceans…

  119. 119.

    Crissa

    I’m sorting bills and stupid bits of paper to find the one that says I have the right to sell my old car.

  120. 120.

    raven

    I had to move to the couch since my bride was flipping all over! Then Lil Bit came out and scratched and cried for an hour or so.

  123. 123.

    NotMax

    Really odd, rarely shown Fred MacMurray movie on TCM Wednesday at 8 p.m. (Eastern).

    From 1945, it’s “Murder, He Says” (94 minutes running time).

    The film’s rustic glow-in-the-dark granny is just the tip of the strangeness iceberg.

  124. 124.

    seaboogie

    @hamletta: Hamletta, You clearly misunderstood me through whatever the filter of your current experience is. But that you responded to me as you did was seriously one of the most entertaining things of my day besides this:

    Today I went to the hardware store to purchase a humane mousetrap. I got involved in a conversation with a fellow pest-eradicating traveler who – in the course of conversation – asked me if I had any grandchildren. !!!!!!! That was an absolute first.

    So today I was asked if this (I like to think) still rather comely woman of 52 years has any grandkids (which I don’t), and also got called a douchebag guy who will never get laid. Gonna mark this day down on my calender with a great big WTF?!?

  125. 125.

    Betty Cracker

    @seaboogie: Don’t take it to heart. I have a cousin who was a great-grandfather before he was 50. (That branch of the family resides in Alabama.)

  126. 126.

    Lee

    @Little Boots:

    Normally yes. Or at least really close (within 10 minutes) of curfew.

    She was already in trouble for something but my wife let her go out tonight anyway. So now she is in more trouble.

  128. 128.

    Jason

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    I think it’s pretty universal; I haven’t spoken to one person that would shed a tear if Jon Stewart didn’t return. Not that I don’t think that he’s terrific, but I do tire of the “both sides do it” ethos that he brings. Oliver is much more hard hitting and just as funny.

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