I turned on CNN to watch the President’s conference, and left it on for a couple hours, and it has dawned on me the first thing I need to do if I intend to get and stay sober is block fucking CNN on my television. There is simply no way I can watch that channel and not go on the bottle.
*** Update ***
OMG- I had no idea the lineup went from Blitzer to Burnett. Is Zucker trying to kill people?
Poopyman
By “block CNN” you mean simply not turning to the channel rright? ‘Cause that’s really all it takes. I did it long ago. A one-step program.
David Koch
▼
▼
Pardon the Interruption!
Angela
Whatever it takes!
cob
Madness lies in watching cable or network news, brain rot worsens significantly with the more fair and balanced it becomes.
KXB
Oh, my life is much better without cable news. As far news consumption goes, I watch local news as I get ready in the morning for base reasons – attractive chick. Listen to NPR in the car, and stream it at the office. Not all day. NPR on the drive home. Read the Wall Street Journal, toss the op-ed page. While washing dishes, watch CBS Evening News on iPad – nice, old fashioned digest of day’s news, which has not gone too soft like ABC and NBC. Then, late night local news – again, for a handy digest of local events that day, and attractive women. Plus, an Economist subscription. Toss in BBC and Al Jazeera when necessary.
The only thing worthwhile on CNN is Fareed Zakaria, and sometimes Anderson Cooper – who does do good disaster and MidEast coverage.
johio
Bottle, hell. Watching CNN would lead me to heavy drugs.
Baud
You may want to shoot your TV, just to be sure.
Jeremy
CNN has really become Foxlite. That so called Benghazi investigative story with Erin Burnett was a joke but I heard that the ratings for it were terrible. When will these GOP shills learn that no one but the right wing cares about the IRS and Benghazi non scandals.
hildebrand
I find that I am a happier, more constructive, person when I don’t watch cable news. This summer I have been completely cable news free – we are now contemplating dumping cable altogether.
schrodinger's cat
Discontinue cable you will be much happier.
John O
@Poopyman:
Precisely.
I’m a full 25% more sane and less depressed since I turned off the TV where “news” was concerned. Though it still is good for celebrity car chases and terrorist attacks and beginnings of wars.
Russ
if you want to get sober, you should be able to watch Fox News 24/7 and not drink.
Emma
I look through the McClatchy site in the am and then go to BBC Radio. Some serious discussions of news on Radio 4, some fantastic science programming too. TPM from time to time. If there’s news in a country that has an English-speaking paper, I check there (if I can manage the language I do that instead). Cable news? Ugh.
Zifnab
@johio: Who needs heavy drugs when you already feel like you’re hallucinating? Fly-in graphics, holograms, Wolf Blitzer… please tell me how the entire channel isn’t one huge lucid dream.
Zifnab
@schrodinger’s cat: Cheers to this. If I could figure out how to get ESPN and HBO a la carte, I’d never touch it the rest of it again.
Joshua Norton
I took all the news stations off my favorites list on my cable box. Now when I scroll thru the list, they don’t even show up. I’d have to deliberately punch in CNN to watch it, and I don’t even know what number it is.
kindness
You should go back to the ganja.
beltane
We’ve been cable free for over 13 years and haven’t missed any of it except for the sports stuff.
El Cruzado
Cut off cable, live on a diet of Internet news and Netflix.
All the good shows will still be good by the time you watch them a few months later.
Angela
@Zifnab: ESPN and sports are the only reasons we still have cable.
Rex Everything
Yep. You’ll be amazed at how your tolerance for stupid TV goes out the window when you stop drinking.
It’s really a positive situation. You wind up reading more and watching more good movies.
PhoenixRising
Yeah, we fired the cable company right around the time Mrs Phoenix put the plug in the jug. It just goes together–if you stop self-medicating for your anxiety, you’ll want to avoid triggers like Wolf Blitzer.
lamh36
How’s about this shhh…Reince Priebus is tweeting about his being Candy Crowley on CNN Sunday to talk about his planned boycott of CNN, MSNBC and whatever.
Um, ok, so you are going on CNN to talk about boycotting CNN, um…WHAT?
Violet
I only watch CNN or other cable news when I’m at the gym and it’s on the big TVs there, or if I’m in some waiting room and it’s on there. Otherwise, there has to be some big event for me to turn to cable news. I think I last purposely turned to a cable channel during the Boston bombings.
They’re pretty much useless. Why give them your eyeballs. You’re worth more than that.
? Martin
I think John needs to reread this.
lamh36
@KXB: ugh, I’m too over Anderson Cooper and his “disaster porn” hard-on. I say this as a Katrina survivor who’s family totally love AC for his Katrina coverage alone, but seriously Anderson stay home, enough with the disaster chasing.
gogol's wife
@Violet:
This.
I use cable for Turner Classic Movies and for PBS if it involves John Thaw & Kevin Whately, Kevin Whately & Laurence Fox, Benedict Cumberbatch & Martin Freeman, or Shaun Evans & Roger Allam.
For news I use the New York Times (quickly scanning over things like MOTU and MoDo) and Balloon Juice!
Mike in NC
Somebody should invent a really disgusting cocktail and name it the “Wolf Blitzer”.
Suffern ACE
@lamh36: who is he fooling? What’s he going to do? Stop republicans from going on TV? Oh say it isn’t so.
joel hanes
Blow up your TV
Throw away the paper
Move to the country
Build you a home
Plant a little garden
Eat a lot of peaches …
lojasmo
Ditch cable/dish alltogether. Just stream Hulu+ and netflix.
Nevermind. Sports.
Suffern ACE
@Mike in NC: lemoncello, rye, celery salt and pickled beet garnish.
priscianusjr
@Poopyman: By “block CNN” you mean simply not turning to the channel rright? ‘Cause that’s really all it takes. I did it long ago. A one-step program.
I did even better. I pretty much stopped watching television 20 years ago. Except I catch Jon Stewart or Colbert now and again on the Internet.
wasabi gasp
Stop finding excuses. Go to the store and clear the shelves of hamburger buns, so you’ll be surrounded by friends.
Comrade Jake
I’m pretty sure the only way I could sit through an entire Tapper show would be with the aid of sufficiently strong drugs. Even then, I might drop kick the teevee.
The channel’s fucking awful.
Comradde PhysioProffe
Not trying to be flippant here, but do you really feel that you can’t drink moderately? My impression has always been that you are not an uncontrollable blackout drunk, and that you could have some cocktails (usually more than necessary) and then call it a night. That seems like a sign that you can moderate your drinking, and still enjoy it socially.
Davis X. Machina
OT Maine Gov. Paul “Landslide” LePage strikes again:
This asshat will win re-election. Cutler and Michaud will split the non-Teahadi vote. Neither candidate’s voters will vote tactically, for cultural and historical reasons.
Napoleon
OT, but John, your new cat is a Maine Coon Cat, right? I am up in Maine right now and saw this book in a gift store and thought you maybe interested in it:
http://www.amazon.com/My-Cat-Coon-Sandy-Fuller/dp/1934031321/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1376040428&sr=1-6&keywords=coon+cat
Bruce Lawton
Cable for guys should be sports, HBO and movie channels only suitable for man-cave viewing.
Cable for gals should be uh oh??
Odie Hugh Manatee
Be sure to stay away from Fox Nooz, you’ll lose your mind and start mainlining heroin.
fundedbynoone
John
I am a professional lurker. And don’t take this personally, but I could be your mother.
So when I say that you should pluck out your eyes before you should watch Wolf Blitzer on CNN, well, who knew?
Send cookies, soon (Son, you are a better cook than I).
Love & hugs & kisses
The woman who didn’t raise you but is keeping a close eye on you and yours ….
TheronWare
Where have you gone Ted Turner?!
chigail
Take the dogs for a walk. Visit with a neighbor. Have a decaf iced latte. Whatever it takes, you can do it.
Redshirt
@Davis X. Machina: I’ll make an internet bet with you you’re wrong, and LePage is one and done.
Regarding our fine Governor’s wonderful comments: It’s just a joke! Can’t you Libtards take a joke? HAHAHA!
p.a.
I went without a TV from Sept 2011 to Aug 2012. Listened to a lot of sports talk radio (Rick Pitino:”the community of the miserable”), some npr, lots of music, books. When I broke down and bought a new teev I went strictly airwaves. No cable/FiOS. All I really miss is Top Chef, Bourdain’s show (CNN now, right?), and Bruins hockey on NESN. Oh, and cSpan book talk, but that had been taken off basic anyway. And QVC when they make the poor hosts dress like fairies, with wire wings etc. I was scanning by when I first saw it and thought I was having mental issues. Kept an eye out for the segment after that: interesting to read the body language of the hosts then. McCain rictus smiles.
furlyfly
Someone please get wr0ng [email protected] Cole laid or something. These “I feel sorry for myself because I am a fat drunk” posts are just pathetic.
Then Mr. oh woe is me posts more Greenwald propaganda. Just nothing but FAIL as far as the eye can see.
angler
@Russ: that’s like going aspirin free in the headache factory.
Davis X. Machina
@Redshirt: Michaud people and Cutler people are oil and water. Neither bunch folds. I’ll take the bet.
Patricia Kayden
@Poopyman: Me too. Haven’t watched CNN in years now. Only MSNBC for me (or Current). My blood pressure has to stay low for me to keep sane.
Yatsuno
@furlyfly: Herp de Durf. It just burns you that you can’t shut him up. Hehehe suck it.
Jeremy
@Redshirt: I agree. Mike Michaud is polling more strongly than the last democratic candidate and currently he is polling ahead of Le Page in a 3 way. The dynamics in 2014 are not going to be the same as 2010. The republicans are becoming so unpopular around the country that I can see them losing a good amount of governors and seats around the country.
Ruckus
Insanity lies within the MSM. And it is infectious.
The only way to avoid it is to… avoid it.
My BP would probably be 400/200 if I listened to any MSN. Which would mean I would be paying for a new TV on a regular basis, which I can not afford, or I’d be dead. Which, if I was forced to watch the MSM, would be a delightful alternative.
David Koch
Steeplejack
@furlyfly:
Someone please get third-rate troll
FurlyFlyFully Fry laid or something. These “Ha-ha, John Cole sux” posts are just pathetic. He shows up in every thread to wave his tiny, Cheeto-stained wee-wee for all to see. Just nothing but FAIL as far as the eye can see.Yatsuno
@Steeplejack: Maybe he’s the volunteer to concentrate all the assholishness in Canada so the rest of them can be nice. That’s the part that amuses me the most about Durf.
fuckwt
Kill your television.
Got rid of mine in 1989 and haven’t missed it since.
That is correct. I have not had a television since 1989.
Shit is EEEEVIL.
Yatsuno
@fuckwt: Haven’t had a TV since I moved three years ago. Don’t miss it.
realbtl
I avoid cable to the point of asking receptionists to come outside and get me if it is on in the waiting room. Not to mention finding the seat as far away as possible in airports. Definitely worth it.
JW
John go to the doc and get some sleepers. If it’s too awful during the day try and talk ’em into Valium. You will be just fine in a week. Then it’s a matter of strict rationing; I’d never advise anyone to give up drinking.
shelly
And it should be a rather regrettable shade of gray.
Singing Truth to Power
Thanks to AT&T Uverse problems two weeks ago (turned out to be squirrels), I had no tv, and internet only on my phone for five days. The first day I twitched and sweated, the second was better, and in five days I got so much done around the house it almost scared me. I should give it up –
jheartney
The interesting thing for me was that after we cut the cable cord, I actually got more interested in the remaining TV programming. Probably because the overall quality was higher. Plus, over-the-air HD is really pretty.
I am behind on a lot of stuff – we’re just starting Game of Thrones (decent deals on the DVD sets from eBay). Anyway, there’s more content on Netflix than I’ll ever have time for.
One interesting phenomenon: Netflix and YouTube are training the kids not to tolerate commercials in video content. Reed Hastings is screwing the cable nets long-term in ways they have yet to suspect.
dance around in your bones
@shelly:
When we were young teens, we used to raid our parents liquor cabinets – took an ounce or so out of every bottle we could find, mixed it all together and took it to the local park to imbibe. We called it a ‘Suicide’ and if I recall it was kind of gray, or at least brown, depending on the available liquor.
That seems like a fitting Blitzer cocktail.
The Pale Scot
John, pull the plug man. TV news has nothing to do with getting information, it just tries to agitate you so you’ll stick around thru the commercials. Unfortunately cable co. doesn’t allow ala carte selection of channels, but it is possible to ditch the tv and just use the internet. You might find yourself a bit calmer after a couple of weeks without commercials.
Hill Dweller
@David Koch: The WHPC has to talk about tone/emotion/drama because none of them know a thing about policy. If you can stand it, watch a daily press briefing. The room is full of ignorant people.
Keith P
I’m impressed that you were able to make it through CNN’s copius commercials to even notice who was hosting various hours. You want to see real bad? Check out their morning show (“New Day”)
Ruckus
@Steeplejack:
Wouldn’t that be pedophilia, or child prostitution?
SG
I gave up CNN years ago. It really hasn’t been tolerable since the first Gulf War.
I really freed myself when I realized I hated MSNBC as well. It got to the point that I was growling at every talking head to shut the fuck up. I couldn’t stand the sound or cadence of Rachel Maddow’s hectoring lectures for one more second. I couldn’t sit through another earnest lesson from Chris Hayes or smug bloviation from Lawrence O’Donnell.
What I couldn’t stand most of all is that they’re all “liberal” or “progressive” around the edges only. They fight the good fight on the easy stuff only. They never go to the heart of the rot and corruption, because it’s the rot that pays their salaries. Chris Hayes comes closest, but it’s not enough.
The day I said “fuck ’em” was the day my blood pressure started to normalize.
Violet
CNN’s ratings have improved since Zucker has been in charge.
Litlebritdifrnt
Back in my younger days my best friends Dad would drive us to a local social hall in Galgate for a Friday night dance. We repaid his kindness by raiding his liquor cabinet an hour before the dance. Ah to be 16 and stupid. It was those Friday nights that swore me off Martini Rosso for life.
Steeplejack
@Yatsuno:
I try to ignore the trolls, I really do, but sometimes I . . . just . . .
Steeplejack
@Ruckus:
No, I’m thinking a big, brawny R. Crumb Amazon who could teach him the meaning of “pegging.”
The Pale Scot
Sports and TV can be delinked, stream the sport radio from the city ur interested in, get a hijacker to record it, and there’s always FirstRow sports to catch a game if no friend’s TVs are handy.
The Pale Scot
@SG:
WORD.
ruemara
Here’s an idea, block CNN. I watch Rachael, some Hayes, some LO, some MHP. The rest are cartoons and mysteries, as God intended.
Billy Dilly
I will get rid of cable,when the last episodes of Breaking Bad, are televised.
I gots to know how it ends.
Billy Dilly
I will get rid of cable,when the last episodes of Breaking Bad, are televised.
I gots to know how it ends.
Suzanne
@schrodinger’s cat: If you get rid of cable, you get rid of Colbear and the Property Brothers. A girl’s gotta have some eye candy.
Yatsuno
@Steeplejack: Durf just amuses me. He thinks we’ll all just see the error of our ways if we just wake up and recognise his brilliance. It’s sad, pathetic, and funny all at once.
FlyingToaster
Most cable-company-supplied remotes have a feature for leaving channels off of your automatic punch-through list. Even my broadcast tv in the kitchen/dining room has one. We removed all so-called “cable news” channels except NECN, Current, and the Weather Channel. Some, like FauxNoise and CNN got the same treatment as the religious and Pentagon channels, locked with a parental code that is only remembered by the house SysAdmin.
Reprogram your remote(s); it’s been a couple years since I’ve seen either Blitzer or Tweety, and to my knowledge I’ve NEVER seen Erin Burnett (dear Jeebus they let her on TV?). Every cell in your body should be grateful.
CaseyL
Even in a geek-friendly place like this, I hesitate to mention a Star Trek tie-in novel, but… in “The Final Reflection,” a Klingon visiting Earth happens to watch some network news, and gets off one of the best descriptions of it ever: “I thought it was an indoctrination channel for children.”
Back during CNN’s debacle covering the ACA Supreme Court decision, someone noted that, of all the major news outlets, only CBS was consistently correct.
I hardly watch TV news anymore, for anything, but on those rare occasions I do, it’s CBS.
CBS might be better, oddly enough, because it’s not an all-news network. It has regular programming, and so has no need to fill the day with endless repeats of top stories, Rolodex-speed dial gasbags bloviating according to script, and “analysis” that would shame a 7 year old.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Yatsuno:
That’s how I stopped drinking, or was it by not watching CNN any more. It’s one of the two.
Litlebritdifrnt
I get up on Saturday morning and make myself a bucket of hot tea. I then sit myself in the recliner and watch junk on demand TV, Storage Wars, Container Wars, Auction Hunters, American Pickers, Salvage Dawgs, Ghost Hunters, you name it. At noon I start all of my house work and chores. I am not giving up my Saturday morning junk TV love fest no matter how much you people tell me I should. I earned that 6 hours of watching bullshit sitting in the recliner in my bathrobe and drinking tea. You an pry it from my cold dead hands and all that stuff.
dance around in your bones
@Suzanne:
Oh, tell it girl! I love watching those guys. Also, that Income Property guy? He could be their brother, and is also eminently watchable.
Fluke bucket
@joel hanes: AMEN BROTHER!
master c
I know you’ve seen this trope floating around:
News: Rich people paying rich people to tell the middle class to blame the poor. That goes for all the mainstream news outlets Havent watched any broadcast news-or cable since I mastered these here nets.
Ripley
Torrents, Cole. Do the wrong thing.
Mike E
1. Write “CNN” on a brick
2. Keep the designated brick nearby
3. Smash yourself in the face with the handy CNN brick whenever you get the urge to watch said cable network
4. Repeat
Yatsuno
@dance around in your bones: Hmmmm… might have to play with teh Googles when I get home.
Litlebritdifrnt
@dance around in your bones:
Scott is the hottest gay guy on the planet. Not that I know or anything but I just get that feeling.
Narcissus
@ruemara: I still watch MHP. I feel like I learn stuff from her.
dance around in your bones
@Litlebritdifrnt: I’ve wondered about that, too but don’t really care one way or the other. I just like looking at him. Yutsy might agree!
Plus, there’s something about a guy who is hot-looking AND capable that just pushes my buttons. Bust down a wall? Swap out the knob and tube wiring for code? Reconfigure a broke down basement into an income generating property?
Swoon.
SatanicPanic
I don’t know why anyone even turns that shit on in the first place. It actually makes me feel less informed. Being an average ignoramus is preferable to being someone who watches CNN.
gbear
@Steeplejack:
That would make a great band name. Curlyfry should be the singer.
I’ve been without cable for about 25 years and without a TV in the house for 10. Almost anything I feel a need to watch I can find a day later on the internets. Every time I accidentally see Blitzer, I want to barf. I can’t remember the last time I’ve even heard Chuck Todd.
Anne Laurie
@Ruckus:
The Russians are using the “Pedophilia!” trope as the new socially-approved excuse for gay-bashing.
One more reason I think it would be a really, really good idea for those of us who are not reactionary bigots to stop using ‘pedophile’ as the go-to insult.
Besides, trolls are faaar more likely to be window-peepers or upskirt-phoneshot creepers.
Mary G
@dance around in your bones: Oh yes, I haven’t watched hardly any HGTV since my mom died three years ago, but the Income Property guy is adorable!
dance around in your bones
@Mary G: Indeed. tell me this guy is not hot!
Munira
A couple of summers ago, lightning hit my house and took out the phone, the internet, the water system and the electric fencer. I had everything fixed by the next day. Five months later, I realized that it had taken out the TV antenna, too. I wouldn’t have known then except that a friend tried to turn the TV on. It still doesn’t work.
schrodinger's cat
@Suzanne: @Zifnab: I am making a virtue out of necessity, I don’t get cable where I live. I catch Colbert and TDS with John Oliver online. I don’t know who the Property Brothers are, they may be online too.
ETA: I miss HBO at times but I don’t miss the news channels, even MSNBC at all.
Felonius Monk
@wasabi gasp:
And maybe he should also pick up another jar of mustard for – well, you know, the mustard thief.
diana
@fuckwt: Amen. Get rid of your television. You can get the news from the internet and your movies from DVD.
My only dilemma is that my Apple computer does not play blu-ray… and I’d like to watch a few directors’ commentaries etc. on my blu-ray discs. Still thinking about how to go about this.
MomSense
@dance around in your bones:
Oh god we did that too. The next day was always ugly.
Ruckus
@Anne Laurie:
In this particular case I was implying that getting derf laid would have to be considered purchasing sex for a minor. IOW child prostitution. But as one would not be selling the child(troll) would that have to be considered pedophilia?
I like your style that you have pegged trolls as a lower life form than even that though.
gbear
@JW: So you’re advising John to take downers and continue drinking? What a pal!
dance around in your bones
@MomSense: Yes, I remember heaving into some porcelain object a few times after the ‘Suicides’. I still don’t know how we got away with it I guess our folks weren’t keeping a close eye on the liquor cabinets.
It was kind of the Mad Men era. Everybody smoked and drank like there was no tomorrow.
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
CNN = FauxLite.
All you need to know.
A Humble Lurker
@Anne Laurie:
If your talking about Ted & Hellen, that’s not hyperbole. It’s this.
John S.
@diana:
All you need is two things:
http://www.macblurayplayer.com/
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B008MCZJXG/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1376136656&sr=8-1&pi=SL75
The external drive works great, and you can even burn discs with it. The software is very easy to use. Together, it’s a good solution.
Applejinx
I’ll be keeping an eye out, John, even if it’s scary to watch. Remember that your commenters ARE basically you. When you run a blog, the folks you attract are echoes of you. So you (and your blog) are both awesome AND a hot mess, all at the same time! And we love you in all our misguided ways.
I kinda think taking up pills and then continuing to drink would not be one of your better ideas, so here’s another vote against that one.
I didn’t like AA all that much, but I was far more heavy into drugs (I drank like you: as a medication) so I ended up in NA and have been watching the parade of WTF go by for more than 20 years. I hope I’m not too obnoxious :) I may never get to talk to you about this stuff, but that can be one of my private little wishes, that one day I can compare notes and give you a hug and rejoice that you got a toe-hold on sobriety/recovery/whatever you want to call it, and hung the fuck on amidst the chaos.
There is only the chaos, but it gets better: we get better. And ‘the program’ is only a set of cohesive suggestions. You already show that in your heart you want to live that way. I do not see in you the ‘Rational Recovery’ sort of ‘I can prove that I am in control and can be an example of the power of will and self-mastery’ attitude. It doesn’t feel like a fun way to live, to me.
I would rather abandon all that Ayn Rand crap and seek to comfort others and bring harmony rather than a sword wherever I go, even when that usually means me constantly making silly blunders and being forgiven for them. This may be a blunder too, but I don’t really care. I hope you can feel a hint of what life is like for me now, ‘cos I get by okay. Know what I mean? To be able to say ‘I get by okay’, what a gift. Maybe you can see that.
Love ya. Oh, and I never went to rehab. I’m old school, I just went to meetings and was a real pain in the ass, and wouldn’t leave, and wouldn’t drink/use. Try that and you’ll make the right sort of friends, just be real hardcore about the not drink/use/pills/weed/anything. Smoking tobacco and coffee generally will get you through and let you flip out with your addictive nature in moderate safety, and guzzling coffee will get you talking :)