Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

No Justins, No Peace

Bark louder, little dog.

T R E 4 5 O N

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Late Night Open Thread

Reader Interactions

93Comments

  4. 4.

    cmorenc

    ARRRR you slimey seagoing scalawags, next one o’ya who looks at me sideways walks the Planck (that’s right, the MAX Planck), since yer energy level’s gonna be a whole level higher after ah kicks ya in the arse into the sea! ARRR it’s another John Cole be a pirate night.

  6. 6.

    kindness

    John you gotta know when to hold ’em & know when to fold ’em.

    Forget about this. Pleanty of good stuff in our lives to be compulsive about. Us? Not so much.

  9. 9.

    John Cole

    @Suzanne:

    Dude. Get laid. Like, yesterday.

    Ok, but it pissed me off. It was like making a pork shoulder and having pulled pork sandwiches, knowing exactly what I had cooked and eaten, and then having 50 people tell me I don’t know what I made and that I really had pork chops.

    And it pissed me off.

    Shouldn’t you be studying, btw?

  13. 13.

    BGinCHI

    @Omnes Omnibus: I never got your meet-up report. But I’ve been busy and not obsessing about the Peyton Place, so maybe I missed it. Hope you’re riding your damn bike, btw.

  14. 14.

    Suzanne

    At least I’m not complaining about your other front pagers, accusing you of trolling your own blog, or emailing you 500 times a day asking you to ban [insert asshole’s name here].

  16. 16.

    Gin & Tonic

    I know you’re a lousy photographer, but the photo at the link doesn’t look like any lox or smoked salmon I’ve ever seen.

  17. 17.

    Gin & Tonic

    I know you’re a lousy photographer, but the photo at the link doesn’t look like any lox or smoked salmon I’ve ever seen.

  21. 21.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @BGinCHI: Meet-up was fine – bunch of nice people. A couple of them had multiple arrests from the Capitol Singalongs. Cole wandered off at one point to play video golf or something. I have had some weird personal shit going on so I have been off of the bike for about a week.

  24. 24.

    BGinCHI

    @Omnes Omnibus: OK, got it. Wishing you the best with life stuff. You can always decamp to Chicago and sleep on our couch, though you will have to do some babysitting and probably vacuum the mats in my car. I’ll do all the cooking and we have lots of booze though. You have to weigh the positives and negatives.

    I assume “video golf” means “bathroom stall masturbation.”

  26. 26.

    NotMax

    (sticks head up for whack-a-commenter)

    I think what people were saying was that characterizing smoked salmon as Jewish was a bit of a stretch.

  27. 27.

    Suzanne

    @Roger Moore: I already did that exam. I have to pass seven of these fuckers. MEP was the first one, because it’s dreadful and it sucks.

    Dirt is number five…..

  28. 28.

    SG

    You may hate me, but I know from lox. All smoked salmon is cured with salt, either in a wet brine, sometimes with other flavors added, or a dry cure, before being smoked. Salmon is usually cold smoked. Gravlax is cured with salt, sugar and dill, but not smoked.

    Alton Brown did an awesome show on making smoked salmon, using household paraphernalia. He brined the filet, dried it until it formed the characteristic pellicle, then cold smoked it with a homemade offset smoker.

    Now if you want really good eats, try smoked sturgeon. It’s insanely expensive because the sturgeon population is declining badly. I’ll probably never eat it again, but if you can find some from a responsible source, try an eighth of a lb.

  32. 32.

    areallygoodhandle

    Cole feeling sorry for himself again…yawn. At least he’s not blowing wet kisses at Greenwald. Cole is proof that republicans cannot think for themselves. Also, once a repub always a repub.

  33. 33.

    Redshirt

    I realized John Cole and his good friend Ted & Hellen are like God and Satan in the Book of Job. We’re all just so many sheep wantonly slaughtered over a bet.

  36. 36.

    Mnemosyne

    For other Fitbit users with bicycles, I thought I would report back that Endomondo links up nicely with the Fitbit (it automatically uploaded my bike ride home from work today when I synced) but Map My Ride seems to be pretty useless (I had to enter everything manually even though it’s supposed to be linked).

    It’s a little annoying that the vibration of riding the bike constantly turns the Fitbit off, but I guess I could get used to it if Endomondo is going to count things correctly.

  38. 38.

    Calliope Jane

    @Suzanne: this will probably sound strange, but are you studying for the architecture exams? I have a friend studying for them, too, without a lot of success. None of his friends are having much success, either, so he’s frustrated. Is there a secret trick to these or something?

  39. 39.

    NotMax

    @SG

    Standing at the counter or sitting at a table, eating whitefish while staring longingly at the sturgeon and the sable in the deli case, does wonders for the wallet and provides some vicarious enjoyment.

  44. 44.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Suzanne: The worst part about soil grading is soil grade inflation. It’s like you can’t even give silicates a B minus without hearing from their diatoms.

  46. 46.

    Suzanne

    @Calliope Jane: Yes. To get a license to practice architecture, one must pass the seven divisions of the ARE (and do some other stuff). I have passed four and failed one. The one I failed happened to be the same week that I had to involuntarily commit my mother to a psychiatric hospital for being suicidal, so I wasn’t really focused on the damn test.

    There is no trick other than that they suck. I have heard that each one is roughly equivalent in difficulty to the MCAT or bar exam. I only know one person who didn’t fail at least one, so tell your friends not to lose heart.

  48. 48.

    Punchy

    Theres Norway you could Finnish smoked Norse lox unless you Sweden the meal with some Danishes. Denmark the time and see how long until you’re India bathroom. Oman…one time Iran to the loo….Kenya believe it? Russian around after such an odd meal.

    Next time I’ll stick to Turkey when I’m Hungary.

  50. 50.

    sparky

    I bought 3 boxes of Cheez-its on sale tonight, and thought I was doing pretty good.

    Punchy: That was pretty clever.

  51. 51.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Omnes Omnibus: Ha ha @ chopper.

    Wishing you the best on the keeping-you-off-the-bike stuff.

    If anyone wants to help my little NAMI chapter stay afloat, shoot me an email to FLSgreen at gmail. I’ll send you a link to where you can join Team Bella Q for our fundraiser.

  52. 52.

    SG

    @NotMax:

    I like me some whitefish salad, but sturgeon is the food of the gods. We’d have lox and bagels on Sunday morning. My mother used to buy 6 oz. of lox and, as a treat, 2 oz. of sturgeon. She’d get the counter guy to trim the leftover skin from the filet and get that for free. Once home, she’d portion out a morsel to each of us and then scrape the skin clean for herself.

  54. 54.

    YellowJournalism

    @John Cole: I took great pride in my procrastination skills. My greatest triumph was the five-page essay I wrote in the hour before it was due. I got an A-. Sadly, the one I spent hours on for the same class earned me a C+. I swear the prof was messing with my head.

  57. 57.

    Suzanne

    @Jane2: mine is the Meyer lemon cookie thins from Trader Joe’s. I also recently discovered the Speculoos Cookie Butter.

    It’s seriously like my mouth just came.

  58. 58.

    Suzanne

    @YellowJournalism: As an college senior, I had a ten-page paper and final presentation due at 11AM in an art theory and criticism class. I started the paper at 5:30AM, did the presentation, then went and delivered the presentation in my pajamas. (I wore a hat. Wouldn’t want anyone to see my bed head.)

    A’s on both.

  59. 59.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Suzanne: I did something similar in a Political Modernization course, but then I got cocky and took the final while, let’s call it, still drunk. Bad idea.

    ETA: The paper was on the social forces that were behind the development of the Mau Mau in Kenya. Yeah, it was about Obama.

  61. 61.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Suzanne: I did that as well; that one worked out fine. I did the 30 minute blocks in 15, and the put my head down and napped. I have a weird talent for multiple choice exams.

    ETA: I know exactly why I did it. I had just discovered that a (not so) nice Jewish girl* had a thing for me and who was I to say no.

    *See how I tied it into the theme of bagels and lox?

  65. 65.

    Suzanne

    @Mary G: I have to pay $210 for the privilege of taking the dirt test, and I have to spend my next paycheck on a dishwasher, so I will book the exam in mid-September. I want to take it ASAP. Even if I fail, I’ll feel like I know what’s coming.

    @Omnes Omnibus: Yeah, you had more fun the night before the SATs than I did. I think I was angsty/depressed, which led to the drinking. High school for me was a lot of misery and not a lot of action. College was the opposite. Muahahahaha.

    I’m generally good at tests, too. Spanked the GRE. It’s a good skill to have. These exams are both multiple-choice and drawing, and the drawings are incredibly easy to goof up. The one that I failed was apparently because of the drawing. Feh.

  69. 69.

    Suzanne

    @Mary G: Dawwwww! That last picture of the black dog with the white spots on the chest looks just like mine. I will testify that my Luna is very patient. Spawn the Younger started dressing her up with hairbands and necklaces, and my puppeh just laid back and thought of England. She is also very cuddly. She likes it when I spoon her. And she’s never even tried to hurt either of our cats, or my mother’s Chihuahua. She’s a dearie.

  71. 71.

    Suzanne

    @Omnes Omnibus: These architecture exams use a CAD drawing software that is proprietary and feels like it was designed in 1995. It is horrible. I can retake the exam I failed in October. It stinks, because I passed the questions portion, but failed the drawing, and I still have to pay another $210 and do the questions again.

  72. 72.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Suzanne: The English Cocker I had growing up would not have stood for that for a second. He was pretty and fluffy and arrogant and, at root, a vicious street fighter. Someone once described the Stones’ manager Andrew Loog Oldham as an upper class thug; well, that was this dog – a mile of pedigree, but if you put him in a near another male dog he would be hanging from its throat by his teeth in a second if the other dog didn’t go submissive immediately. He also figured out how to play solo fetch by dropping a ball on the steep driveway, letting it roll a bit, and then chasing it. Dogs are weird.

  73. 73.

    Calliope Jane

    @Suzanne: thanks so much for your reply. I certainly hope your mother is doing better.

    That’s good to know, about the difficulty. From what I’ve heard, they certainly sound ridiculous. I’ll just keep sending them good vibes. :) Good luck!

  77. 77.

    Yatsuno

    I hate you all.

    Right back atcha big guy.

    Please entertain me tonight. There is absolutely no way tomorrow can keep from sucking.

    @Omnes Omnibus: A friend breeds Dobies, so as soon as I have a yard I will be getting my own Maxpuppeh.

  78. 78.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @piratedan: I am really disappointed that my apartment can’t have a moat. I checked into it. It would violate my lease, what with me being on the top floor and all. Still, I might be able to convince them to let me build a star fort.

    ETA: Enemy artillery concerns me. And sappers.

  82. 82.

    Keith P

    Jeez, what a whiny little bitch.

    “Nova or Nova Scotia salmon, sometimes called Nova lox, is cured with a milder brine and then cold-smoked”
    But regardless, who gives a fuck (other than JC)? Snobby bullshit when you make a big fucking deal about whether or not something is being called something that doesn’t fit your personal definition. It’s easier to call it lox, if you order it in a restaurant, that’s what you get, and goddamn, it’s just some fish on a bagel; get over it!

  84. 84.

    Luci

    Just a thought John Cole…. you might want to think about what aggravates you so much and why. Some of the assumptions you draw and how you react to others might have something to do with your current issues. Only you can say for sure about that, and only you can change it if you are getting riled up unnecessarily, but it might be worth taking some time to check out. Just saying….

  85. 85.

    gogol's wife

    You’re the one who said you were having “Jewish soul food.” That meant you were invoking a traditionalist standard. It’s as if you said, “I’m having some soul food — fried chicken with mango salsa and a quinoa salad.” It might be very good, but it isn’t soul food.

  87. 87.

    Sea Subb

    And except for 9-volts, most common batteries (AA, C, D, etc.) aren’t really batteries. They’re dry cells.

  89. 89.

    zombie rotten mcdonald

    @Suzanne:

    I only failed one, the design portion, but it was a year when 80% failed the design portion, so the problem was trickier.

    Back then, though, all tests were done in person, on four consecutive days. The first three days were two tests each, 8 hours total. The fourth day was the design problem, 12 hours straight. I knew one guy who was so burned out by the fourth day, he sat there and couldn’t even start working; he turned in blank sheets after sitting there for 12 hours.

  91. 91.

    Bob Munck

    If smoked salmon/lox is a problem, maybe you need to let out your inner White Boy: lutefisk on a bad bagel with cream cheese and SPROUTS.

    And maybe a dab of Nutella.

  93. 93.

    Klare

    @Roger Moore: My sympathies extended. FDA food mfg compliance is one project of mine that is good reading when I can’t sleep. Unlike this gang who keeps me awake laughing or crying. John your food choices sound so tasty. Maybe not so healthy but one thing at time I figure.

Comments are closed.