Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Let there be snark.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

The words do not have to be perfect.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

In my day, never was longer.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

You are here: Home / Meanwhile, Gitmo Remains Just A Non-Stop Laff Riot

Meanwhile, Gitmo Remains Just A Non-Stop Laff Riot

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GUANTANAMO BAY NAVAL BASE, Cuba — A defense lawyer who gained rare access to an ultra-secret section of the Guantanamo Bay prison said Sunday that the camp does not meet international standards under the Geneva Conventions, an allegation denied by the chief prosecutor for the U.S. military’s war crimes tribunal.

James Connell, a lawyer for one of the five Guantanamo prisoners charged in the Sept. 11 terror attack, plans to file a motion with the judge presiding over the tribunal challenging the conditions in the section known as Camp 7.

Connell won approval from the judge to spend 12 hours with two experts inside Camp 7, which holds men deemed “high-value detainees” by the U.S. military and is so shrouded in secrecy that its location on the U.S. base in Cuba is classified. The lawyer said he was prevented from seeing how to get to Camp 7 and is not permitted to reveal exactly what he saw, but he said it amounts to pretrial punishment, which is prohibited under military regulations…

Camp 7 opened in 2006 to hold prisoners who were held in CIA prisons overseas and subjected to the harsh interrogations that critics say amounted to torture. The prisoners held there do not live in communal pods like most of the prisoners held at Guantanamo and they cannot make phone calls to their families….

Connell’s comments came before the start on Monday of a weeklong pretrial hearing in the Sept. 11 case to deal with procedural issues that must be resolved before a trial that is at least a year away.

NYMag, “Guantanamo’s Reported Love for Fifty Shades Is Just a Dumb Joke”:

… On Sunday defense attorney James Connell said he suspected military commanders told members of Congress about the prisoners’ passion for the smutty novel as “a joke or some kind of disinformation.” His client, Ammar al-Baluchi, says the next night guards put the book in his cell. “He says, ‘No thank you.’ He does not want the book,” said Connell, whose client gave him the book. “It’s in my safe and as soon as I am able I will return it to Joint Task Force Guantanamo.” Connell said of the apparent taunting, “If this is a practical joke it has gone too far.” …

Reader Interactions

76Comments

  4. 4.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    That’s funny shit, right up there with George Bush imitating Karla Faye Tucker begging him to not kill her.

  5. 5.

    burnspbesq

    Obviously, this is all Obama’s fault. If he had just used his super-secret Kenyan Mooslim magic mind-control powers, 96 Senators wouldn’t have voted to make it effectively impossible to move anyone out of there.

  7. 7.

    Emma

    The one thing I can’t get past with Congressional Democrats is that they voted against closing this damn place up.

  8. 8.

    joes527

    @Baud: You seemed to be saying that people don’t care any more. I assumed you were speaking from personal experience. Were you just glibly smearing other people? Sorry. I missed that.

  11. 11.

    scav

    The military commanders at Guantanamo must have gone to the same PR school as Daniel Seaman, Israel’s head of online public diplomacy. Israel forced to apologise to Japan over offensive Hiroshima comments.

    “I am sick of the Japanese, ‘Human Rights’ and ‘Peace’ groups the world over holding their annual self-righteous commemorations for the Hiroshima and Nagasaki victims,” Seaman wrote on his Facebook page. “Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the consequence of Japanese aggression. You reap what you sow.”

    Other highlights include his comments at the beginning of Ramadan “Does the commencement of the fast of the Ramadan means [sic] that Muslims will stop eating each other during the daytime?” and response to a Church of Scotland report. So, pretty much a equal-opportunity charm offensive, and well, broad front sowing of future bounty.

  13. 13.

    Keith G

    @burnspbesq: The existence of the prison at Guantanamo is not Obama’s fault. The current conditions therein most definitely are his responsibility.

  18. 18.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    Now all we need is John’s little drawing monkey hopping around from person to person screaming “Obot!”

  21. 21.

    Comrade Jake

    @Emma: Really? All you have to whisper is “soft on terrorism” and those fuckers will volunteer their own grandmothers for enhanced interrogation.

  26. 26.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    @Anne Laurie:

    Dumb phuck hasn’t realized he can never satirize people more completely than they manage all on their own.

    Exactly.

  27. 27.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    @Baud: Thank you. I encourage more people to pie me. Nothing turns me off more than rubbing shoulders with the proletariat.

  31. 31.

    JPL

    If Obama weren’t only perilously close to impeachment, he would just close Gitmo with a stroke of a pen.

  32. 32.

    joes527

    @Another Bot Splainer: So, if on MWF nothing can be done, and it is naive to even imagine Democrats having principles, and on TThSa it is vital to elect more Democrats to make the world a better place …

    Where does that leave us on Sundays?

  35. 35.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @joes527: No, it means that perhaps some pressure on the Dems, calls to their offices, etc. to let them know that the issue matters and that you won’t knife them for doing the right thing, might be in order. God knows the assholes are adept at making their presence felt.

  36. 36.

    Suzanne

    @Anne Laurie: I have just repeatedly told Spawn the Elder that the world is fucked up (and yes, I say “fucked up”), and that we as ethical people have the responsibility to be compassionate and try to make the world more fair wherever we can.

  37. 37.

    Ted & Hellen

    @MattR:

    Does that mean that Obama has absolutely no control over how things are run there?

    Please do try to keep up.

    BO holds the most powerful office in the world. But mysteriously he has no power in all the most convenient places.

    Most especially not over the U.S. military, of which he is CIC. Oh no…none whatsoever.

  41. 41.

    The Sheriff's A Ni-

    @Omnes Omnibus: Why? They’ll know we’ll support ’em and vote for ’em. Its the NIMBY middle that they’re running scared of.

    The question isn’t convincing our elected officials of the problem. Its convincing other Americans of the problem.

  42. 42.

    Ted & Hellen

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    No, it means that perhaps some pressure on the Dems, calls to their offices, etc. to let them know that the issue matters and that you won’t knife them for doing the right thing, might be in order.

    Would that Himself would deign to lower Himself to make such calls.

  43. 43.

    Comrade Jake

    “Geneva Conventions are for Girl Scouts.” – John Yoo, distinguished Professor, UC Berkeley

  45. 45.

    joes527

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’ll get right on that. I’m sure DiFi would be thrilled to hear what I have to say in this area. Or maybe not

    But if I send her a postcard with a picture of a unicorn, I’m sure it’ll make all the difference.

  46. 46.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @The Sheriff’s A Ni-:

    Its the NIMBY middle that they’re running scared of.

    Yeah, probably true. But if they are keeping counts of calls, it sure doesn’t hurt to have the close the place down and send the people home side represented in force.

  47. 47.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @joes527: What’s your solution? Bitching on the net? Who’s your rep? I bet you also have another senator out there. Most states seem to have two.

    Demonstrate in the streets. Donate to the ACLU.

  48. 48.

    Capt. Seaweed

    I’ll give this a two-minute outrage then move on to the next. There are only so many hours in the day.

  49. 49.

    Keith G

    I would love to see a wider explanation of what this means…

    Brig. Gen. Mark Martins, the chief prosecutor, denied that Camp 7 fails to meet international standards. He said the security is designed to prevent the release of classified information by high-value detainees, who include all five men charged in the Sept. 11 attack.

    “prevent the release of classified information by high-value detainees,”

    Chew on that for a moment. Think about where they are; how long they have been there; what has happened in that time.

    What types on classified info might they have to spread? Causing what damage?

  52. 52.

    JPL

    @Another Bot Splainer: Recently I read “Those Angry Days” about the lead up to WWII. Although both the House, Senate and Presidency was held by a democrat, it was no way united. Although I found the book redundant in parts, it was informative about the divisiveness in Congress. This has been going on for a lot longer than fifty years.
    This time is different though, because McCarthy never had a chance of becoming anything but what he was. Cruz, Paul and at this point any Repub, if they held the office of presidency can create a situation that we can’t grow out of. Lower taxes and see what happens to the debt. Privatize Medicare and let those who can afford the extra ten grand buy it. Give Medicaid funding to the states and see how that’s goes. Whackos have a public forum and this time is different.

  53. 53.

    Yatsuno

    @Omnes Omnibus: There was a prison in Illinois (I think, trying to remember the details now and can’t research at work) that was modifying itself just so it could be used for the Guantanamo detainees. The administrators of the prison were hoping the influx of jobs would revitalise their town. The Congress killed any notion of that happening. So the idea that they have nowhere to go is patently ridiculous. The pantswetting is getting irritating.

  55. 55.

    Mino

    John Yoo moves to California and the next thing you know, the State is force feeding its prisoners on hunger strike.

  60. 60.

    Mike in NC

    I sort of enjoyed Gitmo back in ’83. Sure, it sucked to start the work day at 0400, but after all the drills you could knock off and go to the NEX and Baskin-Robbins and McDonald’s, every if it was 120 degrees in the shade. Good times! Nice beaches, too.

  63. 63.

    Narcissus

    My gut reaction was “how can there be people who don’t consider Gitmo a center of abuse and torture” but then I realized there are probably people who know about Gitmo in a vague kind of way as a bad thing but never actually payed attention to it and will be shocked by this.

    Hey, remember extraordinary rendition? That was a hoot.

  65. 65.

    Culture of Truth

    When she says ‘folks I’m not making this up’ does she mean she’s not making up that read a headline somewhere, or that she has thoroughly checked the story out and verified it?

  66. 66.

    Ahh says fywp

    @Emma: But the base, that is rich donors, only heckle, I mean speak truth to power, over DOMA and Bradley Manning.

    Scruffy peasants are do declasse.

    Oh, and the Spartacus League is too busy shitting their pants over lavabit and tor.

    Libertarians are organizing online petitions to legalize pot. Too busy. So sorry.

  69. 69.

    Cacti

    @scav:

    “I am sick of the Japanese, ‘Human Rights’ and ‘Peace’ groups the world over holding their annual self-righteous commemorations for the Hiroshima and Nagasaki victims,” Seaman wrote on his Facebook page. “Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the consequence of Japanese aggression. You reap what you sow.”

    Can’t say that I find a lot to disagree with there.

    If you polled the Chinese, Korean, and Filipino victims of the Empire of Japan, I doubt you’d find a lot of sympathy for Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

  71. 71.

    scav

    @Cacti: I’d be more sympathetic if I’d run into fewer examples of pushback about the existence and importance of non-Jewish victims of the Germans (et alia), and a lot more self-awareness of some of the actions of Israeli govts. (only a few right doozies luckily.) I’m not seeing any white hats honestly, so I find the presumption that they have the high ground rather a giggle.

  73. 73.

    mclaren

    @burnspbesq:

    Obviously, this is all Obama’s fault. If he had just used his super-secret Kenyan Mooslim magic mind-control powers, 96 Senators wouldn’t have voted to make it effectively impossible to move anyone out of there.

    Ignorant asshole: here’s how Obama could close Gitmo tomorrow–

    1) Obama proposes to congress that Gitmo be closed and the prisoners (70% to 90% of whom are known innocent bystanders) be transferred to their countries of origin. Congress goes batshit, passes law refusing to fund said closure and prisoner transfer.

    2) Obama says, “No problem! Congress passes laws but it’s up to the executive branch to administer ’em. So here at the executive branch, we’re going to be creative and sequester part of one month worth of funding for our pointless endless adventures in Afghanistan (let’s say the bribes we’re still paying to the Taliban to let our convoys go through) and use the money to shut down Gitmo and transfer the prisoners to the their countries of origin.

    3) Congress goes apeshit, threatens to impeach Obama. “Impeach away,” says Obama. “As soon as you convene to do so, I’ll use the NDAA to detain indefinitely all the congresscritters who vote to impeach. You gave me the power, now watch it get misused. Don’t like it? Repeal the NDAA. A win-win. Gitmo gets closed and the illegal unconstitutional NDAA gets repealed by congress.”

    Shit-for-brains tax avoidance sleazes like burnspbesq are so ignorant of the law and so incompetent as legal counsel that they don’t even realize the grotesque legal contradiction in their own argument.

    Notice what burnspbesq is saying here:

    [A} Obama does not have the POW-AH to violate congressional directives!

    [B] …But when it comes to implementing the ACA, oh, why, then, Obama can direct the IRS to ignore laws congress has passed — thus (wait for it…) violating congressional directive.

    So explain to us, of great and mighty Prophet Nostradumbass, why your legal acumen forces you to condemn any action Obama might take to close Gitmo that would violate congress’ edicts, while you remain so conspicuously silent about Obama’s executive order to the IRS not to enforce part of the ACA for a year.

    What’t that?

    The sound of crickets?

    Thought so.

    Burnspbesq pretends to legal insight, but his positions are just top-1%-justifying bullshit. There’s no legal basis for burnspbesq’s reasoning and my example above proves it. Burnspbesq is just making shit up and pretending it’s the law. But burnspbesq’s claims are not based on legal reasoning, they’re just smoke and mirrors.

  74. 74.

    mclaren

    @Ted & Hellen:

    BO holds the most powerful office in the world. But mysteriously he has no power in all the most convenient places.

    Most especially not over the U.S. military, of which he is CIC. Oh no…none whatsoever.

    Yet at the same time, Barack Obama is a tiny pitiful insect trapped in the iron spiderweb of The Law (capital T! capital L!) when it comes time to prosecute the financial crime lords of Wall Street or to enact campaign finance reform or to shut down warrantless wiretapping. No, no, noooooooooo, Barack Obama is a mere paramecium wiggling around in the gigantic ocean of laws that render him impotent and insignificant.

    Now, here’s what I love about the Obot’s lies….

    One of these claims can be true. But not both at the same time.

    Either Barack Obama is a ten-mile-tall colossus who bestrides the earth with seven-league boots and has so much power that the mere ineffectual scribblings of the constitution cannot prevent him from ordering the murder of U.S. citizens without a trial or even charges…or Barack Obama is a helpless impotent worm groveling in the dirt before the plenipotent colossi of Wall Street and the Elder Gods who rule the national intelligence infrastructure with more puissance than Nyarlothotep had over Cthulhu…

    But not both.

    Obama cannot be both limitlessly powerful to the point where he can ignore the constitution at will, and at the same time so bound by multitudinous restrictions and checks and balances on his powers that he is unable to lift even his littlest pinky to order the NSA to stop doing that shit and order the Guantanamo concentration camp unilaterally closed and its prisoners transferred and order the DOJ to bring all the major Wall Street criminals to indictment quick smart.

    The Obots just aren’t very bright, are they?

    Like the apparatchiks who tongue-bathed Stalin by claiming that the Great Hero of the Soviet State never knew the terrible atrocities his gulags were perpetrating, yet at the same time Stalin is the Great Hero of the Soviet State precisely because he is all-knowing, all-powerful, in control of every last action, all-seeing eye keenly observant of every event which occurs, the apologists for Obama just can’t manage to keep their lies straight.

    It’s embarrassing.

    Seriously, it is, guys. You obots need to pick a lie and stick with it. Consistency is the key. Ya gotta sound credible. Otherwise, it’s just like Senator Joseph McCarthy constantly claiming he had a list with a different number of known communists in the State Department — today, 23, yesterday 94, last week 205, last month 128. Legend has it McCarthy finally solved that problem by picking up a bottle of Heinz 57 Varieties of ketchup and shouting “57! It’s 57!” And he stuck with that number. And that worked for him.

    A parable to learn from, obots.

  75. 75.

    Ted & Hellen

    @mclaren:

    You are kind of awesome. I bow low to your superior knowledge and presentation skills.

    It is for both admirable qualities that you are widely hated here at BJ.

    This blog is fascinating for the fact that a rump group of violently hateful and close minded Botsplainers claim it as their own, even as their narrow range of interests overlaps less and less with that of the blog owner. To them, he has become a TROLL on his own blog.

    Fascinating.

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