Bless her heart, and her gleeful expression. I went over to GoFugYourself to see if anyone had committed an especially newsworthy fashion incident at the Emmys, and found this:
… CIRCULAR PASTIES — like wee coasters for her nipples… She’s wearing fishnet, stickers, panties, and a polar bear…
… but what stood out for me (oh, click the link, ya lazy) was that those panties are wearing a safety harness. That’s very public snark done right, my friends.
If Ross Doubthat’s or Katherine Jean Lopez’s Monday-morning posts consist entirely of a string of nonsense syllables, now you know why.
Mino
LOL The polar bear bothers me. lol The rest, meh. I just wish she had more talent.
Yatsuno
It may be a strong piece of self-expression, but Miley, honey, that schtick was old when Madonna was pulling it. Fashion atrocities are not public statements of defiance.
Debbie(aussie)
@Yatsuno: Each generation gotta do thar thing :) Or so it seems,
Ruckus
Such a delightful young lady.
Mom is probably so proud. No really, she probably is.
It is sort of a wonderful “Fuck Off” to all the usual suspects.
different-church-lady
Lemme know when we get to the shaved head stage.
Ruckus
@Yatsuno:
It really never gets old. A little stale, a little over done, maybe. But as long as prudes have ink to spill and people to read their crap, it will never get old.
Suzanne
@Yatsuno:
Is it? Is it REALLY? I am not gaining any exceptional insight into her soul or essential character here. Just that she wants me to think she’s skanky.
Ruckus
@different-church-lady:
LOL
Is that followed by the massive tats stage? Or does the tats stage come first?
Ruckus
@Suzanne:
See, you did get it.
Sophist
As opposed to only mostly consisting of nonsense syllables like usual?
Calming Influence
I could be wrong, and I’m as happy as the next guy to gaze upon the tasty bits of a purty young gal, but this is starting to look like it’s building up to a Michael Jackson-sized cry for help.
Either that, or she’s a style guru, and by next summer we’re all gonna be walking around nekked.
Hopin’ she’s a style guru.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
As long as beauty is the norm, ugliness will be a way to express rebellion.
jill
@Suzanne: FSM help me. Now I’m gonna have to apologize to MY 20 year old daughter, because she ONLY has a tattoo and multiple piercings, rather than all of that AND a complete lack of a sense of propriety or shame.
max
… but what stood out for me (oh, click the link, ya lazy) was that those panties are wearing a safety harness. That’s very public snark done right, my friends.
I have no clue or interest in her or her daddy’s music, and the polar bear sleeves are pretty awful, but God bless her and her middle finger.
max
[‘It’s a pity she didn’t get to twerk in that outfit. I mean Bill Donohue might have had a seizure, and that’s certainly something to be devoutly wished.’]
Suzanne
@Ruckus: My nether regions itch just looking at that picture.
I’m sure gonorrhea can be digitally transmitted. Right?
maus
Teen star oversexualizes for the male gaze, calls it “controversy”, media goes apeshit over all the pagehitsand views, political blogs join in for some reason.
Not that anybody should be calling her names, MTV’s shtick is just getting old.
burnspbesq
@Suzanne:
I think your assumption that that’s not her “soul or essential character’ rests on decidedly shaky ground.
Villago Delenda Est
@Sophist:
Pretty much my reaction as well.
burnspbesq
@max:
Bill Donahue’s been having seizures ever since he started reading the Pope’s interview. I’m surprised we haven’t heard that he stroked out.
Alison
@burnspbesq: God’s keeping him around for the entertainment value.
Calming Influence
@Suzanne: I’d be much happier for her if she’s just kind of skanky than if she’s not skanky but starting to come unraveled.
Anne Laurie
@Yatsuno:
Oh, c’mon. If you were a cute, fit 20-year-old who’d just had all the world’s paid professional scolds throw a mass pearl-clutching over your obscene audacity, would you be able to come up with a better retort than magic-marker-colored pasties and a safety harness on your thong?
More power to the kid, and I hope she continues to annoy all the right people!
burnspbesq
Memo to Ms. Cyrus: This is what sexy looks like.
Alison
@Anne Laurie: Thing is, not everyone she’s annoying is wrong to be annoyed. I couldn’t give a fuck if she wants to run around in mesh everything, if she’d cut out the appropriating racist bullshit. There are reasons to dislike her beyond get-off-my-lawn prudish griping.
Suzanne
@Anne Laurie: I just wish her songs were decent. Hell, I was a huge fan of Courtney Love as a teenager, who obviously is not renowned for her restraint or propriety or good judgment. But her songs were really good. That makes up for a lot of bad fashion and classless behavior in my view.
Jewish Steel
Still with the tongue? She must be surrounded by sycophants who haven’t the nerve to point out she looks like an imbecile.
Suzanne
Looking through the red carpet photos, might I note that Kerry Washington looks incredible and has fabulous taste? Why, yes, yes, I may.
MikeJ
I have no problem with Miley. Her detractors all seem to have sticks up their asses.
Holiday was also a pile a shit and then we had to put up with Camille Paglia for her fifteen minutes. I can’t imagine Miley will do anything that bad to our culture.
AxelFoley
What’s the over/under on Miley releasing a sex tape in the near future?
Death Panel Truck
Fuck the fucking Emmys. A television legend, a man who cut his teeth on live TV in the 1950s, who starred in two iconic 1970s TV series, one half of a great comedy team (Tony Randall the other half), almost totally fucking ignored.
I speak, of course, of the late, great Jack Klugman. Oscar Madison and Quincy, M.E.
On the other hand, a loser asshole dope addict who didn’t do shit besides Glee receives special recognition nowhere near commensurate with his alleged talents. Some dickhead who killed himself with drugs is somehow more worthy of recognition than someone who spent a half-century in show business. As Klugman’s son Adam said: It’s criminal.
Yeah. Life’s fair.
scav
@burnspbesq: Well, there was the interview and then he apparently said something mean about money. Donahue might be very fun to watch as he put’s the cash nexus and disobedience to the Pope at the very beating heart of church doctrine
wasabi gasp
The mama bear routine is both touching and delusional.
SRW1
Miley’s calculated ‘provocation’ is as transparent as the clothes she’s wearing on that pic and it is as boring as the reaction of the guys and girls she does manage to provoke into seizures of rightous moral outrage.
Both sides are doing each other a favor. Attention whores gotta whore for attention. Yawn.
Yatsuno
@Anne Laurie: The sexuality bit doesn’t bug me at all. It’s just unoriginal at this point. Now Lady Gaga’s meat dress, now THAT was bold and original. Lady Gaga also has pipes too, so that helps.
Seriously. She should do an unplugged thing. She’d shock a shit ton of folks.
Radio One
The Cinco ads from the Tim and Eric show, totally nuts. “Your incident….” “There was a small incident at my house eariler…(chaos)…but I recovered from it…”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-o7YG3x0DI
Yatsuno
@Anne Laurie: Oh since it’s an open thread you’d appreciate this. Just imagine the concept of military bronies. :)
PIGL
@burnspbesq: to you, maybe. “Sexy” is not really something that middle-aged men should get to define to young women. We’re being all judgey here, and it is uncalled for.
The prophet Nostradumbass
Why does Melissa Harris-Perry have a bozo like Matt Welch on her show, and take him seriously? Both of those MSNBC weekend morning shows go out of their way to have GOP and glibertarian bozos on them, and treat them with an undue amount of respect. Fox News already have a bunch of shows they can go on.
Hal
Meh. I not offended by Miley at all and I tend to react at the ripe old age of 39 with a Simpsons did it first reaction but with Madonna in place of the Simpsons, but I have to agree with Cher on this point:
“She can’t dance, her body looked like hell, the song wasn’t great, one cheek was hanging out. And, chick, don’t stick out your tongue if it’s coated.”
joel hanes
Apparently it takes a heap o transgression to make the world forget that one’s stardom was manufactured by Disney and founded on clueless innocent cuteness.
Typecasting Miley next year will yield a different kind of role than typecasting Miley two years ago would have. I imagine that’s the whole point.
PIGL
@Hal: At least Cher’s criticisms are substantive. And so far as I have noticed, she is the only personage quoted who is qualified to express an opinion — as opposed to simple posturing outrage—on the matter. Notice, by the way, that every aspect of the performance was mentioned EXCEPT the singing.
fuckwit
Looks to me like she’s like trying to be Lady Gaga but without the creativity and style.
MIley, if you can’t pull it off… DON’T.
Ms. Germanotta can do it. Madonna can still do it. Cher can still do it. Honey, you…. can’t.
fuckwit
@Jewish Steel: Maybe she’s trying to get Gene Simmons do to her. Wait… maybe she already has…. it’s not like it’d take a lot of activation energy to get him to tap that…. or anything for that matter…
srv
Fishnet will always be the pinnacle of neu-haute fashion
fuckwit
@Calming Influence: It’s actually looking a lot more to me like a Britney Spears size cry for help.
In fact there are probably already LEAVE MILEY ALOOONE vids on teh youtubes, haven’t checked, don’t want to…
fuckwit
Last one and I’m done for tonight: http://www.eonline.com/news/458895/gene-simmons-rates-miley-cyrus-tongue-wagging-at-the-vmas-it-was-okay
Villago Delenda Est
@fuckwit:
Yeah, but the thing is, while Cher’s comments might actually sting, Miley is aiming at broomstick up the ass fucktards like Douchat and K-Lo, who frankly need to be beaten into silence with that safety harness.
hamletta
Miley can fucking sing. She’s trying to navigate her own fucking place.
She’s fucking up because she’s young.
But she’s smarter than her dad, or she has better management.
hamletta
I’m singing the Fauré Requiem again for All Saints.
The last time I sang it was the 10th anniversary of 9/11, and my mom came down because it was such an honor.
Sadly, my mom died in June, so I will sing it for her.
Joey Maloney
I am just thankful that now we have the data to establish the upper bound for the diameter of Ms. Cyrus’ nipples. Science marches on.
Amir Khalid
That’s a dopey looking outfit. It seems no more scandalous to me than the cover of Linda Ronstadt’s album Heart Like A Wheel, where the light was shining through her top and you could see the outline of her boob. A little embarrassing to look back on, but really no biggie
fuckwit
@hamletta: Well, yeah, that’s why it’s a Britney Spears variety or even Lindsay Lohan variety cry for help.
It’s not easy to bust out from being a manufactured Disney product to being a product of your own manufacture, and survive. It often involves trainwrecks along the way. This is definitely hers. I hope she eventually gets her shit together.
different-church-lady
@Hal: Cher being the gold standard of good taste and all…
Ben Cisco
That’s how I originally read the sentence.
In my defense, it was before coffee.
Also, the thing about trying to be outrageous in an arena where outrageous is blase – you have to keep upping the ante. How far can one actually go? Would anything that happened at this event really shock anyone?
debbie
Where’s the style? The dress’s not even an attractive design, like Jennifer Lopez’ dress was when she freaked everyone out. This dress just makes Miley look like a syphillitic, smelly, old, used up whore. A Bukowski wannabe.
Ash Can
She doesn’t look shocking, just dumb. I too am getting “cry-for-help” vibes.
MomSense
@burnspbesq:
I’m not usually a fan of Zooey Deschanel’s fashion sense, but she was stunning last night and I think may have been the best dressed.
Paul in KY
@Calming Influence: I think she’s committed to torching her Hanna Montana era to the point where she’ll never be in another Disney show.
She’s very thourough.
Paul in KY
@Anne Laurie: She’s a good, proud Democrat! I like her attitude.
Elizabelle
Cry for help.
Maybe reassuring Liam Hemsworth he made the right decision, too.
xenos
Maybe this tells you all about the not necessarily very wholesome cartoon I let my kids watch, but that outfit makes her look like Skips for The Regular Show.
LeeM
@xenos:
My thoughts exactly. Skips freaks me out as well when I’m forced to watch The Regular Show.The pasties and the long hairy arms does it.
kc
She would be crushed if she knew that Cher already did that. Like, 30 yeas ago.
kc
@Hal:
Cher did apologize for that. As well she should have, considering her own history.
TaMara (BHF)
@Anne Laurie: I think Cher said it best, if you’re going to dress and act like that (speaking of the VMAs) the performance has to be flawless and it just wasn’t.
Personally, I don’t care what she wears, really, but that performance was so gawd awful. So now when I see her in the photo above I think, oh, poor Miley, trying too hard again.
I don’t think that is the reaction she’s going for. But what do I know, I’m a contemporary of Madonna’s so I’m not who she’s trying to get a reaction from.
@Hal: I see you beat me to it.
Joel
Because music doesn’t really sell anymore, you have to sell something…
The Moar You Know
Girl needs to discover a tongue scraper.
As to all the rest of it, well, if I had better judgment, taste, style or class at age 19 I certainly would have no way to prove it.
“Why no, your Honor, I am innocent. That is not a mullet, that is a flayed muskrat I’m wearing on my head. It was a big thing in the eighties. And those are not Hammer pants. I was wearing a Hefty bag. I was very poor at the time and do not take kindly to the prosecution holding that against me.”
She’s fine.
coin operated
Miley was an unfortunate prostitute for Disney’s teen programming offensive for years, with Daddy happily acting as her pimp. I laugh at the reaction…why is it y’all act surprised when she finally dresses the part?
Her saving grace…there *is* some talent there. Just not on display at the moment. Hope she survives this phase.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@fuckwit:
I don’t think it’s a cry for help as serious as Lohan’s or Spears’s was. IIRC, it turned out that Spears is bipolar, while I’m convinced that Miley’s problem is hypocritical “Christian” parents who made her a child star while pretending to be upright, moral people.
Of course, it turns out that both of her parents are constantly cheating on each other, so hypocrisy galore. I actually think Cyrus will probably settle down in a few years once she’s sufficiently done with her “I reject your stupid ‘morality’!” phase.
Bobby Thomson
@burnspbesq: Whatever floats your boat, dude.
ETA: Oh, and all you prudes and scolds should lighten the fuck up with the slut shaming. Double standard much?
slim shady
I didn’t realize Miley had such big nipples.
But that’s not why I’m here. I was hoping for some Pittsburgh Steelers talk. They’re looking freakin’ awesome this year. Woo-woo. Cole’s gonna need a couple more cats and dogs if he’s going to make it through that long WV winter.
justawriter
Shame on Miley for tying the entire Internet to a chair and clamping their eyes open, a la “Clockwork Orange” and force feeding her image into the darkest recesses of the brainstems of an unwary public.
I just wish there had been this kind of outcry when Kurt Russell quit Disney and became a jerkwad
Republicanlibertarian.Another Holocene Human
@debbie:
Un-fucking-believable.
Miley is not having a meltdown, and the slut shaming is out of line. She’s doing a career repositioning. She has shit to answer for for appropriating African American culture in a disrespectful way. That’s it.
opiejeanne
@justawriter: Kurt Russell did none of those things. You’re thinking of an entirely different person, Kirk Cameron.
Did he work for Disney? I’m completely unaware of his repertoire.