Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

White supremacy is terrorism.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Come on, man.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

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Debaser

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Seeking his own level:

George Will, who has been a conservative presence on ABC News for more than three decades, is leaving for the Fox News Channel, the cable news network announced on Tuesday.

A Will/Palin Christmas Special in Alaska is an obvious first show idea for George. Maybe now that Will is working in close proximity with Hannity, we might finally fully understand just exactly why browns and poors are so lazy and shiftless. The possibilities are endless, and with George being a spry young lad of 72, he has at least a decade at Fox to completely ruin what little is left of his reputation as a serious conservative.

Reader Interactions

54Comments

  3. 3.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    George Will seems like the kind of guy who has a large collection of snuff films.

  4. 4.

    Fledermaus

    Pretty much. He looks like what a stupid person would consider an intellectual. Also he uses big words sometimes.

  8. 8.

    H.K. Anders

    At 72, Will is so much younger than the average Fox viewer, they might have trouble taking him seriously, the little whippersnapper.

  9. 9.

    piratedan

    the village and PBS/NPR love him because he oozes reasonableness, a quiet, non-assuming sonorousness which covers up a whole lotta missed civics classes.

  10. 10.

    Violet

    Are there going to be any conservatives left on any of the other networks, or will they all end up on Fox?

  11. 11.

    WereBear

    Mr. WereBear likes flipping over to Faux to see what’s up during crises, it usually makes my blood pressure soar like a breeching whale…

    But I must admit it was glorious the night of the 2012 election, when we switched channels in time to see Karl Rove’s meltdown.

    As Stephen King likes to say, Last time pays for all.

  12. 12.

    c u n d gulag

    Never mind his idiotic Conservative ideology.

    I made the horrible mistake of buying his book about Baseball – in the simplistic belief that no one writing about that great sport could possibly make baseball even more boring than the people who complain about
    baseball being boring, think it is.

    WRONG!!!!!!!

    It is simply the singly worst fucking book ever written about that, or any other, sport!

    Will knows even less about Baseball, than he does politics.

    Maybe I’ll write him an e-mail at FUX, and ask the asshole for a refund.

  13. 13.

    Botsplainer

    A Will/Palin Christmas Lemon Party Special in Alaska…

    FTFY

    Don’t thank me for the mental image. Just savor the possibilities….

  15. 15.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    I think it was Molly Ivins who once wrote, in I forget which context “George Will may turn up his icy blue nose at such ideas…”

    I always thought that icy blue nose might be out of joint from being asked to share a panel with the likes of Ann Coulter and Mary Matalin, but I guess that’s what he’s comfortable with these days.

    @Fledermaus: you remind me of another shot at GWill that might’ve been the late, great, lamented Miss Molly, something like, “In a move that will surely have George Will’s intern scouring Bartlett’s Book of Quotations for what seems like an apposite scholarly recollection to open his next column…”

  18. 18.

    drkrick

    He’s a made Villager. Nothing else matters.

    Since I understand the sale of the Washington Post to Bezos closed yesterday, maybe he thinks he’d better change his broadcast home now to allow a decent interval before the change in print homes. At least these moves, unlike his first marriage, will probably go off without his skivvies winding up in the front yard.

  21. 21.

    Southern Beale

    Fox News is the biggest cancer on our discourse that I can think of. Just came from the vet’s office where someone asked to change the TV channel off of the soap opera it was tuned to. Crankly old white man across the room asked for “Fox News so we can see what OBAMA is up to!” I told him over my dead fucking body.

  22. 22.

    Tom Hamill

    I rather think Krugman’s frequent appearances on this week and the facile way he swats away Will’s conservative nonsense was a motivating factor in his departure.

    Who’s next on This Week? Daniel Larison, we can only hope.

  25. 25.

    Chris

    Since he’s transferring to Fox News from A Channel Not Named Fox News, does that mean he’ll be the Token Liberal on that network? Soon to be run out of town for not having followed The Narrative exactly, or loudly enough?

  26. 26.

    Scott P.

    I made the horrible mistake of buying his book about Baseball – in the simplistic belief that no one writing about that great sport could possibly make baseball even more boring than the people who complain about
    baseball being boring, think it is.

    This never gets old.

  27. 27.

    EdTheRed

    Don’t know about you,
    But I am un chien Andalusia

    EDIT: Ah, I see ranchandsyrup got there first. (Come on, Pilgrim, you know he loves you!)

  28. 28.

    SteveinSC

    As a Fucks News operative, he could help coach Sarah Palin and other Teahadists for debates, like he did Ronald Raygun, and then volunteer to referee the debate. He’s at a network that calls that fair and balanced. Disgusting hypocrite and flaming Asshole.

  31. 31.

    dogwood

    Who cares where George Will parks his pompous ass. He’ll probably be replaced by Herman Cain or Michele Bachmann which will improve ABC’s ratings with the nutter crowd.

  32. 32.

    CarolDuhart2

    At 72, I’m surprised that he doesn;’t just retire and write books. He has enough “centrist” cred that it would do okay, and I’m certain enough cash to tide him over.

    So why get in the clown car?

  33. 33.

    cathyx

    I have to say that this surprises me. He tries to portray himself as serious, and even he has to agree that Fox doesn’t portray itself that way.

  34. 34.

    MikeJ

    @CarolDuhart2:

    So why get in the clown car?

    Because he likes doing it. He gets to go into work everyday and be told how smart he is and that all of his enemies are evilevilevil. For doing that he’ll get a nice paycheck and the illusion that he matters.

  35. 35.

    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937

    good. Get him off a broadcast network and on to a shitty cable station few watch.

  36. 36.

    cathyx

    Maybe Fox lured him there saying they want to change their image. Didn’t they get rid of Hannity too? Or was that just the radio?

  37. 37.

    Hawes

    If only ABC and others would quit going out and looking for another barrel of monkeys. If all the conservatives want to go talk within the Bubble, let them. But don’t let the Bubble contaminate the rest of the world.

  38. 38.

    Mike in NC

    George Will’s most memorable column came out the day after the attempted coup against Gorbachev, in which he gloated about the stupid dirty commies being so untrustworthy, etc. and suggested the USofA needed to build a much bigger nuclear arsenal. Of course Gorby was back on top a couple of days later and George fucking Will never again brought up the subject.

  40. 40.

    Mr. Longform

    Being a Cubs fan was horrible enough by itself. Identifying with the team owned by the Rickets family and rooted for by George Effing Will was too much. I now just seethe in fan-less limbo hoping everyone loses (not that I really have to hope too hard for the Cubs to lose…)

  42. 42.

    MazeDancer

    @cathyx:

    Surprises me, too. Had thoughts like maybe he has gambling debts. Or they promised him that Fox was going to start publishing serious political e-books and he would be editor in chief with his own staff of interns. Or he likes the idea of being the “Smart One” and when he went to discuss it they all grovelled and called him Mr. Will.

    George Effing Will as Mr. Pierce says. Why would he jettison any hope of any shred of his alleged reputation as a Serious Journalist ever remaining? Some kind of pseudo Department Chair at some third-tier college would make more sense.

    He must need the money.

  43. 43.

    geg6

    @Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937:

    This. What it really means is that Will’s schtick has gotten so old that only the golden years nutters who watch FOXNews want to put up with him. Ailes is, in the end, going to hire every ancient racist Luddite they can find in order to keep their audience.

    Which I find to be a massive win for the rest of the country.

  45. 45.

    Ben Cisco

    So he’s off to Faux, huh? Good, that means I’ll never see him again unless he does something mockable by either Colbert, Stewart, or you guys.

  46. 46.

    danielx

    My man George will still have his Kaplan Daily column to maintain his status as a Very Serious Person.

  47. 47.

    StringOnAStick

    @Southern Beale: Good for you! I think most normal people just tolerate it when Faux is on in some public place; it’s well past time to fight back against that propagandistic crap. I hope the old crank went home cussin’ about that mouthy feminazi who denied him his rage fix.

  48. 48.

    shortstop

    I wrote several baseball trade metaphors for this situation. But they weren’t that funny, so never mind.

  49. 49.

    shortstop

    @StringOnAStick: I took a cruise with my parents and the only satellite cable news on board was Fox. I frankly didn’t care, because I rarely watch cable even when landlubbin’ and shit. Also, I had no intention of ever cruising again, so who cares what’s on their TVs? However, when the equivalent of Julie, Your Cruise Director buttonholed me on deck and asked how I was enjoying my cruise and what they could do to improve it, I earnestly told her I was a five-times-a-year cruiser and their line had lost me forever because of Fox. I added that they were going to lose everyone else under 100 if they didn’t knock it off soonest. She was semi-freaking out.

  50. 50.

    rodnchance

    I could not be happier for ABC, maybe now (though I doubt it) they can replace him with an actual human being, one that has some real compassion and does not hide his own inadequacies behind large words and base ball metaphors.

  51. 51.

    Maeve

    raven says:
    October 2, 2013 at 3:12 pm
    Fucking dickhead went to Uni High in Urbana!

    So did I, but not at the same time. He did write a column about us when we won our first basketball game in three years. We weren’t called Puny Uni for nothing!

  52. 52.

    RaflW

    George being a spry young lad of 72 – or approximately 2 years older that Fox’s average demo.

    He may as well be fully and avowedly inside the Rupert bubble. That’s all he’s worth.

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