Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Republicans in disarray!

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Their freedom requires your slavery.

People are complicated. Love is not.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Nothing worth doing is easy.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

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Reader Interactions

106Comments

  1. 1.

    Yatsuno

    I’m getting paid for this bullshit. Yay! This will not happen until it’s over. Boo. I basically haz no money right now.

  12. 12.

    Yatsuno

    @raven: Right back atcha. Now Leach better rest our fucking starter like mad. He was limping all over the damn field.

    @Baud: Mooching has been fun. The border collies almost ate me alive when I wandered in the door to my parents’ place. Of course this is moot until some shit gets passed so I can get back into a paid status.

  15. 15.

    trollhattan

    Jerry makes more wingnuts haz sads.

    Gov. Jerry Brown this morning announced he has signed a bill laying down guidelines that dictate when local law enforcement must detain arrested undocumented immigrants.

    He also signed a measure, AB 1024 by Assemblywoman Lorena Gonzalez, D-San Diego, that will allow undocumented immigrants to be licensed as attorneys in California.

    In a prepared release accompanying the signings of those bills and six other immigration-related bills, Brown repeated the rationale he recently gave for signing another measure offering undocumented immigrants driver’s licenses: “While Washington waffles on immigration, California’s forging ahead…I’m not waiting.”

    http://blogs.sacbee.com/capitolalertlatest/2013/10/jerry-brown-signs-bill-to-prohibit-detention-of-some-undocumented-arrestees.html#storylink=cpy

  18. 18.

    dmsilev

    @Villago Delenda Est: No, she’s trying (and failing) to be clever by drawing Planet of the Apes analogy as driven by the Tea Party.

    “Well, son, they knew there was something creepy about the ringleader, Ted Cruz,” the man replies. “His face looked pinched, like a puzzle that had not been put together quite right. He was always launching into orations with a weird cadence and self-consciously throwing folksy phrases into his speeches, like ‘Let me tell ya,’ to make himself seem Texan, when he was really a Canadian.”

    The boy looks alarmed. “A Canadian destroyed the world, Papa?”

  21. 21.

    Violet

    @schrodinger’s cat: Dowd has the ape sitting on the Lincoln Memorial, not in the White House or a Congressperson’s chair. It’s a riff on Planet of the Apes.

    I can’t stand Maureen Dowd, but this one isn’t that bad.

    Edit: I will say that using the image of an ape, and being unclear initially about where the ape is–somewhere Lincoln sat, obviously–initially leaves the image of the current occupant of the White House being an ape. That’s before you read further and realize what she’s doing. Given her disdain for President Obama, I don’t think that comparison was made lightly.

  23. 23.

    schrodinger's cat

    @raven: I did read it. This is how she ends it.

    “After the final American president, Barack Obama, canceled his trip to Asia, that part of the world decided we were weak. China moved quickly to fill the vacuum. Obama grew so disgusted, he spent his final years in office isolated in the White House residence. When he stopped returning the calls of Hassan Rouhani and Bibi Netanyahu, it was only a matter of time before the Middle East went up in flames.

    A father explaining to his son the dystopia that is Ted Cruz’s DC.

  27. 27.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Yatsuno: Well, according to Rafael Cruz, this is just a weekend for you. And we all know he’s really smart, he went to the top Ivy League schools.

  31. 31.

    Violet

    It’s a really stupid column. She manages to smack around everyone she doesn’t like–CrossFitters, Michelle Obama and her vegetable garden, Sarah Palin, Paul Ryan. It’s just dumb and not even remotely funny. Doesn’t make much of a point except to leave one with the impression she’s seen the occasional dystopian film.

  33. 33.

    scav

    @schrodinger’s cat: Impeccable timing for sharing the front page with analyses of two SEAL actions, including one that scooped up someone wanted since 1998. ETA, I mean, if this is one of his weak pulled into the White House moments . . .

  34. 34.

    Violet

    @schrodinger’s cat: I’ve only seen clips of it, but the riff on it jumped right out at me. It’s just another stupid Marueen Dowd column.

    Why the hell do we need Opinion columns anyway? Opinions are for blogs. Newspapers should be for news. Do some fucking work, Maureen Dowd, David Brooks, et al. Just blathering your thoughts on everything is done by a million people every day, none of whom get paid for it. Why are they so special?

  35. 35.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @Violet:

    Jesus, the very first thing in the piece is a 2084 dateline! Hello? Breathe into your paper bags, people. You’re hyperventilating.

  43. 43.

    Tommy

    Please don’t judge me,but I would beg folks to not give to any of the organizations you mentioned. DNC, DCCC, DSCC.

    I am an ActBlue kind of guy. They run liberal liberals.

  44. 44.

    dmsilev

    Speaking of the Times, check out this story about one of the hardline Tea Party types and his district in northern Georgia.

    Jon Tripcony, a surveyor in Dallas, recalled a photograph of Republican leaders in shirt sleeves facing empty seats across a table. The photo, which Mr. Graves posted on Twitter, was staged to dramatize Republicans’ call for Democrats to discuss a budget passed by the House. It may have been dismissed as a publicity stunt by much of the news media, which noted that House Republicans repeatedly refused to join a conference on a budget the Senate passed earlier. But in northwest Georgia it was taken at face value.

    “There was not one single Democrat,” Mr. Tripcony said. “They’re just spoiled little kids. I don’t get it.”

    Mr. Tripcony, the surveyor, said he underwent heart surgery not long ago without health insurance, “a bad blow.” He has been making payments against the cost. He had heard of the online marketplace for insurance that opened on Oct. 1 under the Affordable Care Act.

    “I just don’t trust it,” said Mr. Tripcony, who has an equal distrust of President Obama. “I don’t like him, and I don’t feel comfortable with anything he’s got to do with.”

    Mr. Tripcony said he had a better idea for a system to provide health care at a fair price. “I think it should be the same for everybody,” he said. “One big company, whether owned by the government or private.”

    Informed that he had described the single-payer system that Mr. Obama abandoned when Republican critics called it
    socialized medicine, he said, “Yeah, I know, it’s crazy.”

    Maybe that joke about how the Affordable Care Act would have gone down better if it had been named Reagancare wasn’t so much of a joke after all.

  46. 46.

    fuckwit

    Um this thread was supposed to be about raising money. I’d hoped it’d be filled with activist ideas about how we can fight back against the teabaggers. Instead it’s filled with bitching about something stupid MoDo wrote (as if THAT’S news).

  50. 50.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Dowd is writing (badly) about a generic post-civilization dystopia. You’re the one putting the Planet of the Apes gloss on it. She doesn’t have her ape talking. It’s just an animal.

    God, I can’t believe I am defending Maureen Dowd—with my thumbs, on my phone. And I didn’t think I could get more pissed off this week.

  51. 51.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    Done. But let’s not forget the folks running in Virginia. It’s an important election and it’s only 31 days away. We’ve got more time for the national races…

    Local folks should send some scratch to Terry and Ralph and Mark if they can. Squishing Cooch and E.W. and Obenshain in a landslide would do us all a world of good.

    Cheers,
    Scott.
    (Who hopes he doesn’t end up in moderation with the 3 linkies…)

  52. 52.

    Tommy

    @fuckwit: I hear yeah. I got a lot of love for folks that give money and/or work on a campaign. Something I do and I find it very rewarding.

    But I almost want to steal this thread and yell go LSU.

  55. 55.

    Belafon

    @dmsilev: And if they had passed that, he would have argued for it all to remain under private insurance, but with better competition and more rules to prevent companies from denying covering for things like preexisting conditions.

    Whatever Obama and the Democrats are for…

  57. 57.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    @dmsilev: I hope that fucker faces the humiliating prospect of going into the poor house while a neighbor finds out they didn’t have to hock shit to get good care, thanks to the ACA. As a matter of fact, just die, Mr Tripcony you racist piece of shit, the world is better off without you. And to those who say I should have class, I hate White Racists with a passion and heat of a 1000 x 1000 x 1000 suns. No compassion to the Nathan Bedfords.

  58. 58.

    beltane

    @dmsilev: What do you do about someone who would rather die a pauper than accept assistance from President Blackula? Pointing and laughing is a good place to start.

  60. 60.

    Mike in NC

    The shitty local paper started to carry the insufferable MoDo about a month or so ago. Not sure why. As if it wasn’t putrid enough parading weekly stupidity from Michelle Malkin, Bill O’Reilly, Cal Thomas, Charles Krauthammer and several even lower forms of wingnut life.

  62. 62.

    JPL

    Sometimes I feel that when I give political money, it leads to more phone calls and trash mail Personally I wish there were a way to curtail this. just my opinion though…

  63. 63.

    JPL

    Sometimes I feel that when I give political money, it leads to more phone calls and trash mail Personally I wish there were a way to curtail this. just my opinion though…

  64. 64.

    Tommy

    I was on heathcare.gov the second it opened. The fact it didn'[t work was an epic fail.

    I am going to pay $100 less a month. Ponder that for a few seconds.

    I make a good living, but a $100 is a $100 dollars. I mean that is my grocery bill for last week!

  65. 65.

    Elizabelle

    Happening tonight in the former capitol of the first Confederate insurrection:

    RICHMOND, Va. – Ken Cuccinelli, Virginia’s Republican nominee for governor, shares the billing Saturday night with another tea party hero, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, at an evening gala for the socially conservative Family Foundation in Richmond.

    Ted Cruz.
    Ken Cuccinelli
    campaigning together
    while the US government is shut down.

    Both have done everything they can to see that Americans without healthcare continue to go without.

    I suspect the McAuliffe folks are smiling at this news.

  66. 66.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Steeplejack (phone): Read the first line of her column, AN ape sits where Abe sat. WTH is that supposed to mean. I read it as, the person occupying the seat of Presidency that Abe Lincoln occupied is an ape. She clarifies the date, 2084, only in the next line. Obviously you didn’t see the allusion I did. Whatever, people interpret fiction differently.
    Everyone can draw their own conclusion after reading the column. I am not saying the way I read it is the only way to read it.

    Anyway last comment on this matter.

  67. 67.

    scav

    Manages to be whistley enough that those that need that sort of signaling will see and approve and might not disembowel her for daring to find fault in anyone with an R after their moniker. She could very well be playing to two sides of the infighting, the big-bizness daddies and the tribal, yet still hooded, “moderates”. The sheer desire to include the ambiguity of that single statement might inspire that whatever it is slumgullion that follows.

  68. 68.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    @JPL: Sure, you’ll get more junk mail, and your e-mail inbox will overflow, and you’ll get fundraising calls as soon as you walk in the door in the evening. It’s annoying. But them’s the breaks.

    Give what you can and accept the minor annoyances. It’s important. Mainly because it helps the enthusiastic campaign workers do their jobs like get out the vote.

    My $0.02.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  70. 70.

    Anoniminous

    We’re accumulating money for local candidates, a couple of State offices (Treasurer and Auditor) and whoever ends-up running against that shit Steve Pearce. The DNC, DCCC, and DSCC are going to have to stagger through 2014 without us, for once.

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I’ll check them out.

  73. 73.

    Ash Can

    @Elizabelle: With Cruz very publicly being on the shit list of everyone and their out-of-town cousins, McAuliffe’s campaign needs to hit the ground running, first thing in the morning if not sooner, with an ad featuring Ted and Cooch in each other’s arms, looking downright ecstatic to be together. If they don’t, they all need to be bitchslapped into next month, each and every one.

  74. 74.

    IowaOldLady

    Four or five years ago, we were on vacation and an old guy was rambling on about how our real problem was there were too many women in Congress. When we got home, I anonymously donated cash to EMILY’s list in his name. I trust he’ll be on their mailing list forever.

  75. 75.

    Tommy

    @Elizabelle: I used to both live and work in NOVA Elizabelle. Most of my best friends still live there. I honestly don’t know how Ken Cuccinelli gets elected. Most of my friends are women, or the wife of a friend. They are confused. There is this thing I think/say. I have a penis and not a uteruses. So I tend not to tell somebody with a uteruses how they should use said uteruses.

  76. 76.

    r€nato

    how to drive a teabugger out of his mind in 3 easy steps:

    1) “Do you believe Obama did a terrible thing when he ordered closed the WW2 Memorial due to the government shutdown?”

    “YES! HATES AMERICA MARXIST MUSLIM KENYAN BIRTH CERTIFFICUT DICKTATER SOSHULIST!”

    2) “But he did not go down there in person and close it.”

    “HE’S THE PRESIDENT! HE GAVE THE ORDERS! TREASON! TRAITOR! IMPEACH!”

    3) “So you agree that Obama deserves credit for killing Osama bin Laden, even though he did not personally pull the trigger.”

    *teabugger head explosion*

  79. 79.

    fka AWS

    @raven:

    Great games going on and you dopes are talking about Maureen Fucking Dowd..

    Yeah the Blackhawks are playing pretty well.

  81. 81.

    MikeJ

    @raven:

    Great games going on and you dopes are talking about Maureen Fucking Dowd..

    Sox just finished. I don’t know if the Tigers/As is going to be a great game yet.

  82. 82.

    raven

    @Anoniminous:

    I’m losing status at the high school
    I used to think that it was my school
    WAH WAH WAH WAH

    I was the king of every school activity
    But that’s no more…
    Oh mama, what will come of me?

    The other night we painted posters
    We played some records by the coasters
    WAH WAH WAH WAH
    A bunch of pom-pom girls
    Looked down their nose at me
    They had painted tons of posters, I had painted three
    I hear the secret whispers Everywhere I go
    My school spirit is at an All time low

    I’m losing status at the high school
    I used to think that it was my school
    WAH WAH WAH WAH

    Everyone in town knows I’m a handsome football star
    I sing and dance and spray my hair And drive a Shiny car
    I’m friendly and I’m charming I belong to *De Molay*
    I’m gonna try like mad to Get my status back today
    Status back, Baby, Status back, Baby
    Status back, Baby, Status back, Baby

  83. 83.

    MomSense

    Talked to some people from SC tonight who are mad that the House keeps sending budget bills to the Senate and they refuse to pass them.

    I tried politely to explain the situation and they were shocked and said that they have been following the news closely and the problem is the Senate refusing to pass the House budget and the President’s veto threat. Yup, they watch FUX.

  84. 84.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    I thought MoDo was talking about Abe Frohman. The sausage King of Chicago.

  85. 85.

    gogol's wife

    @JPL:

    I get two or three things from various Democratic Party organizations in the mail every day. They also call me all the time despite requests not to do so. But what are you going to do . . . you have to support them. 2014 is going to be a real decision point.

  92. 92.

    Anoniminous

    @raven:

    Son of Mr. Green Genes:

    Eat your greens
    Don’t forget your beans & celery
    Don’t forget to bring
    Your fake I.D.
    Eat a bunch of these
    MAGNIFICENT
    With sauerkraut
    MMMMMMMMMMM
    Sauerkraut
    Eat a grape, a fig
    A crumpet too . . .
    You’ll pump ’em right through
    Doo-wee-ooo

    Eat your shoes
    Don’t forget the strings
    And sox
    Even eat the box
    Your bought ’em in
    You can eat the truck
    That brought ’em in
    Garbage truck
    MMMMMMMMMMMMouldy
    Garbage truck
    Eat the truck & driver
    And his gloves
    NUTRITIOUSNESS
    DELICIOUSNESS
    WORTHLESSNESS

    — but the lyrics are entirely secondary

  94. 94.

    James E. Powell

    The money should be spent on TV ads that will convince Americans that this is all the Republicans doing. The “both sides do it” propaganda is working quite well out there among the non-committed public.

  97. 97.

    Gian

    @Ash Can:
    Makes me pretty sure this resolves before all the fuloghed federal workers in Virginia vote this year.
    I hadn’t thought about it until now

  98. 98.

    Elizabelle

    @Tommy:

    I really don’t think Cuccinelli is electable — Virginia is purple, with two Democratic US Senators — but do worry that people might assume McAuliffe has it in the bag.

    The government shutdown might have tipped the scales against Cooch for good.

    Scott Rigell, GOP congressman near Virginia Beach/Norfolk area, was an early and vocal critic of the shutdown. He did not support it.

    I also think some Virginians might have noticed the craziness underway below our Southern Border: North Carolina.

    Cooch has promised NoVA business leaders that he will stick to business, not social issues, but why would you believe him?

  99. 99.

    Elizabelle

    @Gian:

    Early voting (officially “absentee in person” voting) is already under way in Virginia.

    And some of our feds got time on their hands.

  102. 102.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    @efgoldman: Yup. He’s as right-wing as almost any of his Republican brethren.

    Rachel has had him on several times in the last couple of months. He can talk a good “sensible, moderate” game, but he’s not. It makes me want to throw the remote through the TV, it does…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  103. 103.

    Ruckus

    I would rather support Act Blue candidates directly than give money to the DNC, DCCC, DSCC. Those 3 groups seem to have rather poor records giving good liberal candidates support.

  104. 104.

    PsiFighter37

    Based on the graphic, this hasn’t been very successful.

    And for good reason – I trust none of the orgs todo things competently.

    PF37 +6

  105. 105.

    seaboogie

    @trollhattan: I passed a rather buoyant protest (because there were plenty of children there) on the Sonoma square this evening and the message was “keep families together” and protesting the immigration laws in (Spanish and English). Maybe Gov. Brown’s actions inspired that.

    That California wine that we enjoy is largely a product of resident and immigrant Mexican labor, and the local wine industry has been bemoaning a lack of field-hands during harvest season. At least the weather is cooperating. This is farm country – where the farmers grow grapes that in due course become delicious wine…

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