@GreatDismal Definitely has a silencer on it, anyway.
— billmon (@billmon1) October 19, 2013
.
Somebody has a book to sell, so — just in time for planning Halloween costumes! — we learn that Dick Cheney survived five heart attacks to steal a transplant from a more deserving recipient by being a total, total wussy hypochodriac. And apparently he can’t quite choose between “You can’t arrest me for war crimes, my cardiac issues left me non compos mentis” and “Quit, hell, you’ll never be rid of the Penguin Cheney!” as a defense.
Can’t wait to see what Mr. Pierce and the other professionals have to say about the full interview, come Monday…
No Dick, suggesting you be tried for war crimes MT @60Minutes: “Are you suggesting I should've resigned?” Dick Cheney http://t.co/ye11myLd9S
— billmon (@billmon1) October 20, 2013
Alison
“What heart patients can learn from Dick Cheney”
If you actually learn something from him, I’d say it’s a good sign your heart is diseased beyond help.
What a fucker.
NotMax
Mildew on the body politic.
The prophet Nostradumbass
What this site needs is either a sidebar with billmon’s twitter feed, or an automatic billmon tweet-insertion tool. It would save time.
MikeJ
@The prophet Nostradumbass: Weird zero context tweets just aren’t very helpful.
scav
The black is obvious. Probably wheezes like Darth V as it operates.
Redshirt
Darth Cheney turned off his artificial heart’s wireless functions. Makes sense for a Dark Lord – that’s an easily exploitable kill for the forces of Good.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@MikeJ: I think every post here should be prefaced by a random billmon tweet.
Mike G
Have a medical team follow you around everywhere at a cost to the taxpayer of over $1m a year. Doesn’t everyone have this?
What a cancer on humanity.
MikeJ
@The prophet Nostradumbass: Aren’t they?
Anne Laurie
@The prophet Nostradumbass: You don’t like the blog content, you could always find a different blog. There’s lots!
Mike G
More Billmon tweety goodness:
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Anne Laurie: awfully thin-skinned of you there, can’t stand some silly ribbing?
Jamey
Also on this edition of “60 Minutes,” what vegetarian cooks can learn from Adolf Hitler. This, plus the reanimated ghost of Andy Rooney ….
Wally Ballou
May I just hijack this thread for one moment to declare that I fucking hate the fucking Red Sox?
Thank you.
Jamey
@efgoldman: Cheney’s the original One-Percenter. I KNEW it!
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Wally Ballou: I can’t stand the Red Sox as well, and I’m not fond of the Cardinals either.
Villago Delenda Est
This vile creature…and his mate, and his spawn…needs to hang by the neck until dead.
Redshirt
@Wally Ballou: What, you’re a Communist? A Satanist? A Bill O’Reily fan?
Jamey
@efgoldman: That’s the only thing I could remember. Last time I watched the show was so long ago, it was called “LX Minvtes.”
Anne Laurie
@Wally Ballou: As someone who doesn’t care about either sport, I’m just disappointed that Sunday’s early starts make it likely that the drunk rowers celebrating the Head of the Charles regatta probably crashed before they could mingle with the drunk Sox fans. The local newsroll tomorrow night would’ve been epic.
eemom
oooweeee, what an ORIGINAL retort!
Almost like the post, um, “author” — when not in block-quote mode — was incapable of formulating a response that hasn’t been regurgitated ad nauseum to every criticism of a blog post since blogs were, like, invented in the first place.
gene108
I was looking at tablets at Best Buy today (just browsing not seriously looking). The Surface tablet looked good, with the key pad, built in stand and you can unsnap it and use it like an ordinary tablet. I rather liked it, though most of what I’ve heard about it has been negative.
Other than the fact it runs Windows 8 are there other problems with the device that got so much negativity?
Walker
Saw Escape Plan tonight. Moderately enoyable throw back to the 80s.
In this movie, a muslim character sacrifices him self so that the white protagonist(s) can live. Which makes it official: Muslims are the new black people.
Pooh
Let’s go Red Sox
(Clap clap clapclapclap)
Let’s go Red Sox
(Clap clap clapclapclap)
Let’s go Red Sox
(Clap clap clapclapclap)
eemom
@efgoldman:
how sad, for a gentleman of previously assumed wit.
otoh, there will surely be points….somewhere….to be gained, for being an AL groupie.
The prophet Nostradumbass
Here’s a charming story: “Gun Rights” Advocates Hold Rally at JFK Assassination Site. It is, of course, a coincidence, or so they claim.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@efgoldman: You’re either with AL, or you’re against her. There is no middle ground.
The prophet Nostradumbass
WELL
on another subject, I’m interested in hearing from people who have actually tried National Novel Writing Month. In the past, I have thought, “hey, I’ll try that”, and then realize that it’s already half way through the month. This time, I’m ahead of it, and am curious to hear from others what it’s like.
sharl
Bedtime reading from Werner Herzog (4:17).
For the children.
via @WernerTwertzog
max
@gene108: Other than the fact it runs Windows 8 are there other problems with the device that got so much negativity?
What efg said. No apps, too expensive, not flexible enough software-wise. If you want a tablet that’s expensive, get an iPad since it has apps. Otherwise get an Android tablet. (Like one of these. If you want a smaller one, go for the Nexus 7.)
max
[‘Really. Don’t take the bait, man.’]
Bill E Pilgrim
@Jamey: You were lucky. We used to watch it when it was called X Minvtes. Only time for the summary of the night’s stories, and then it was over. LX minutes? Looxury!
Not Adding Much To The Community
@eemom: Well, you’re safe from having such assumptions made about you.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@efgoldman: It’s possible it was from me, I often don’t remember what I type here.
@efgoldman: JOKE, my comments, at least.
2liberal
now that the sox are in i will have to gear up and start watching baseball again. Go Sox ! Also , go Patriots!
eemom
@Not Adding Much To The Community:
oooh fucking snap.
ffs, I SO don’t give a shit. Just always kind of strikes me what a particular asshole AL goes out of her way to be to the good NDA, utterly oblivious to how valiantly he previously tried to defend her.
Enjoy, maroons. I’m out.
Ruckus
@efgoldman:
One mouse click.
Damn. That much energy to not be pissed about something that is almost irrelevant. That really is a white person problem isn’t it?
The prophet Nostradumbass
@eemom: Ta-ta, don’t let the door hit you on the way out, et cetera.
Ruckus
@efgoldman:
We got our first TV in 1953. And no you are not.
eemom
@The prophet Nostradumbass:
omfg. I was trying to be nice to you, you dumbshit.
I give up. Delete it all, AL — just like you do best.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@eemom: No, you weren’t. You were hijacking my joke to continue your hatred of AL.
Davis X. Machina
@Wally Ballou: Highly ironic pseud, considering that Bob & Ray did the lead-in to the Sox on the radio for years.
Bill E Pilgrim
@efgoldman:
Sounds like a movie about the Prime Minister of England played by the Dirty Dancing guy.
This is now demonstrating what I’ll call Pilgrim’s Law, which is that as any thread about technology of any kind progresses, the probability of it resembling the Four Yorkshiremen sketch approaches 1.
Not that that’s a criticism ;)
I can think of one or two ten-minute long shows in more recent years, one being the Simpsons when it started and another one I watched faithfully for years starring Jean Dujardin and his future wife, Alexandra Lamy, both otherwise unknowns. He was really good, but she was always the real star I thought, freaking hilarious. Like a ten-minute long French I Love Lucy, basically.
Redshirt
Cheney is but a bad example. Surely, we’d like to ransack our parent’s library?
gene108
@sharl:
Thank you for sharing.
If only I could go the fuck to sleep.
John Revolta
Okay, I gotta admit- as much as I hate the Dark Lord, I think that five heart attacks would leave me a bit hypochondraical (?) myself.
JordanRules
I saw some old records at a DFH store last night and I think I want to make vinyl my next hobby. Nothing obsessive or expensive, I just want to get a good player and be able to cop a good record when I run across one and actually play it.
Any advice on getting a record player?
Suppose I’d like to read some books on the history of vinyl as well.
The prophet Nostradumbass
My capacity for being nasty to people online has gone way down from the many years ago when I was on Usenet. I find myself starting things with people, then thinking “why bother?”. I think this is a good thing, actually.
JordanRules
Wow, somebody got called a groupie. Mercy.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@The prophet Nostradumbass:
I enjoyed it until the massive amount of typing required caused a major flare-up in my existing carpal tunnel problems. If you have any kind of reptitive stress problem in your hands or arms, either get voice recognition software or don’t do it.
Ruckus
@JordanRules:
Fellow from Detroit that I haven’t seen here in a while and whose changed name I can’t remember at the moment(Ultraviolet something?) told me any audio-technica is a good turntable(he writes how to articles for electronic mags). Picked up an LP60 USB for around $100 and it works better than any I knew about 30 yrs ago at any price.
eemom
@The prophet Nostradumbass:
um, ok. Don’t worry, I won’t be doing that again.
Good night, sick fuck.
Bill E Pilgrim
@John Revolta: There’s a “we traced the calls- they’re coming from inside the house!!” joke to be made here, I’m sure of it, but my cold is numbing my brain so I can’t think of it.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): hmm, okay. I get an RSI problem when I use my iPad too much, but haven’t had a problem when typing or using the mouse on the Macbook Pro.
I will start thinking about what I may write about. It’ll likely be utter garbage, stream-of-consciouness crap.
Ruckus
@The prophet Nostradumbass:
Sounds like a good thing.
Me thinks there may be a next step in this logical progression.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@eemom: I could have sworn you were “out” almost 45 minutes ago, yet you’re still here. Don’t go away mad, just go away.
JordanRules
@Ruckus: Much thanks! With that tidbit, my quest has begun.
Bill E Pilgrim
@The prophet Nostradumbass:
Wait, they’re taxing excessive iPad use now?
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Bill E Pilgrim: HAHA! Very clever!
Ruckus
@John Revolta:
In darth’s case I’d think that he should take it as a message that he has fucked over way too many people and karma can be a bit of a bitch. But then I also think he should have thought about that at attack number 2 so I don’t like the odds that he just might figure that out now.
Or, he’s had 5 and he’s still alive, given his outlook on life he probably figures he’s doing everything correctly except maybe just not being a big enough asshole.
ETA, He probably also hasn’t figured out that it’s real hard to kill the undead or doesn’t know he actually is.
Yatsuno
@Ruckus: I refuse to grace his Wiki page to fin out, but at least his first two were really young, like late 40s/early 50s. Basically he’s had a bad ticker all his life. Which just goes to prove the Devil does indeed exist and one can make deals to extend ones life.
Higgs Boson's Mate (Crystal Set)
You guys are so mean. If Cheney was in trouble I’d hook up the defibrillator for him. One pad on his left ear, one pad on his right ear, and turn it up to eleven.
Anne Laurie
@John Revolta:
Nah, in the CBS clip, Dr. Gupta says Cheney only survived his first heart attack, at the age of 37, because “he didn’t ignore minor symptoms, which almost any other sufferer would have”. If only Cheney hadn’t been so mindful of his precious, previous self, imagine how much better off the world could’ve been…
There is a theory, not just among Democrats, that the only reason Cheney was content to serve as puppetmaster instead of running for office himself is that he figured even the GOP wouldn’t pick a nominee who’d had several cardiac incidents already.
KG
@The prophet Nostradumbass: I tried it once, didn’t quite work out life kept getting in the way. I think you either gave to have all the major plot points figured out before you start or you have to go in completely blind and just let it happen
Keith P.
@Redshirt: I bet the credentials to log into his heart were “linksys”/”admin”
@gene108: The main problems with the Surface RT were lack of full Windows, and it was underpowered for the price. Problem with Surface Pro was that it was expensive and had a short battery life.
Gravenstone
@Pooh: The only possible reason I could have to pull for the Ded Sox is that I want to see the spawn of La Russa snuffed out, root and branch. In fact that animus holds true for the A’s and the Blight Sox. I want to see everything that bastard ever touched burnt to the ground, then salted and the ashes plowed under.
SectionH
@efgoldman: I don’t get the Anne Laurie hate. At All. She does an amazing job here day after day. I’m not such a Charlie Pierce fan, but she’s a very honest broker about her prejudices, which is all anyone reasonably can expect. Dislike > skip. How hard is that?
The prophet Nostradumbass
@KG: I was figuring that, if I couldn’t put a bunch of sticks in the ground out while I was daydreaming, I’d just make it up as I went along. If that doesn’t work, well, I’ll just heed the words of Mickey Rourke: “Every once in a while you’ve gotta roll the potato.” What that means, I have no idea.
Ruckus
@Anne Laurie:
Yes, I know that I look for someone who has had 5 heart attacks to vote for every time. This person sure isn’t going to die, ever, they’ve survived FIVE heart attacks. Most people would be dead after maybe the first two. It’s like a person I used to work with, whose car has been struck by lightning, twice. And they were in it both times. Come on how you going to beat that? Invincible they are. Of course one isn’t all here mentally anymore and the other is evil incarnate but still.
Mike G
@Anne Laurie:
Cheney believes “only the good die young.” By this philosophy, he will live to be 300 years old.
Ruckus
@John Revolta:
I’ll let you know when I have 4 more.
However…
Not being of the undead persuasion nor one of the world’s biggest assholes, I’m not sure that I’d live through that many.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Mike G: Into whose neck does Cheney sink his fangs these days, now that Bush is no longer in office?
Anoniminous
@JordanRules:
As Ruckus has said Audio-Technica turn tables are pretty much bullet proof. I have a JVC QL-A75 which I can recommend. I strongly advise you to buy a direct drive not belt drive. First, you won’t get a consistent RPM with them things. Second getting new belts is a royal PITA. Third, belt drives were built for the mass market where low cost was the main issue and the makers cheaped out on the other components — including the motor.
Ruckus
@Anoniminous:
Gotta tell you, $100 for a relatively low volume consumer product that is bullet proof and works great? How can you beat that?
JordanRules
@Anoniminous: Appreciate it. Any other equipment I should have as a good foundation for listening besides some speakers? I’m starting from scratch, no system to speak of whatsoever.
Haven’t really listened to vinyl in an intimate setting for probably 25 years or so. Getting kind of excited!
JordanRules
Cheney probably has a hack fear because he considered it along with all the other “enhanced techniques” for one of his many war porn fantasies. Top of mind and all that.
Anoniminous
@Ruckus:
I also paid $100. And I got (= had to take) 12 boxes of LPs as part of the deal.
:-)
Unfortunately, most of them were crap. I think somebody used them for skeet practice. Others were pretty cool, for example I got a copy of the Columbia original cast recording of Waiting for Godot and a Hi-Fidelity LP of T.S. Eliot reading his poetry.
SectionH
@The prophet Nostradumbass: Liz’s, until he can get fresh blood.
Anoniminous
@JordanRules:
Speakers. They should be the best you can get your hands on. I can’t help you with this one. We have a pair of Klipschs we bought in 1973 and they are still running like champs.
ETA: The only thing I can think of is once you’ve got your turntable is to take it to a quality audio store and “field test” speakers with different amplifiers. Also, there are web sites devoted to turntable sound systems. There’s a lot of info out there, including good places to get top quality used equipment for peanuts.
Ruckus
@Anoniminous:
Speakers. Absolutely.
Have a set of CerwinVega that I’ve had for a number of years. Tried them out against about 15 other sets and nothing sounded this clean, clear and alive to me.
sharl
Uuuugly:
Senior NY Magazine editor Dan Amira may not be wrong, but sometimes it’s best to just keep such thoughts to oneself, even when provoked.
In the ensuing twitter riot, someone used the term “Commie”, which inspired beloved twitter-bot Robot J. McCarthy (@RedScareBot) to respond. Always comforting to see RJM put in an appearance, so there was a silver lining to the whole sad mess.
I wonder if Weigel would have still RT’d this if he weren’t all liquored up at a wedding reception in Texas?
Origuy
@efgoldman:
I am old enough to remember John Cameron Swayze, but only as that guy in the Timex commercials. Wikipedia says that Patrick Swayze was a sixth cousin, once removed.
Amir Khalid
Remember the failed invasion of Sabah, six months ago, by 100 or so Filipino guys with rifles? The pretender Sultan of Sulu, in whose name that dumb stunt was carried out, died this morning. Sultan Jamalul Kiram III was 75. He used to gripe that the 5,000 ringgit Malaysia paid him each year for Sabah state wouldn’t pay the rent on his apartment in Manila.
WereBear
@The prophet Nostradumbass: It is excellent for teaching oneself that, regardless of mood or energy, drafting can be done.
And editing is done after.
aimai
@Anne Laurie: Those rowers are big, big guys. I wouldn’ve put money on tem over the sox fans in any bar fight.
PurpleGirl
Lesson to be learned from Richard “I had better things to do” Cheney: you too can survive 5 heart attacks if you have the money to buy the best medicine and a new heart.
aimai
Ohmy god, Mr. Aimai is on a different computer listening to the infamous Megan Kelly interview with Sarah Palin. Absolutely astounding. People’s accounts of it don’t begin to do it justice. She is literally nothing more than a compendium of randomly assorted phrases. Its like political tourettes. My daughter is listening in complete shock. She’s heard me make fun of these people but she had no idea that I wasn’t exaggerating at all.
Jeff(the other one)
@Anoniminous: That may have been true 40 years ago, when turntables were actually for playing music and not for hip hop, but now with CDs and MP3s ruling the roost most turntables are made for the obsessive audiophiles, and are rock steady and expensive. I would recommend a Linn turntable, if your wallet can stand it.
Uncle Cosmo
@Bill E Pilgrim: Only if you’re dyslexic. And if you’re lexdysic you shouldn’t be using an iDap in the first place…
@Origuy:
Allen Sherman–a guilty pleasure of my childhood (replaced by Tom Lehrer when I got old enough to understand it was cooler to write your own music rather than steal someone else’s).
aimai
@eemom: Finally!
Enhanced Voting Techniques
Bases his decisions from a fucking TV show. What an idiot.
That seems to be a common theme in these hard right assholes – they are totally obsessed with movies and TV shows.
mpbruss
A good phono stage really helps a cheap turntable. I got a $150 or so Musical Fidelity preamp for my cheap Sony turntable and it sounds great. Can’t wait to hear how it sounds paired with a decent player. Apparently you can get an entry-level audiophile turntable from Pro-Ject or Rega for under $500.
What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?
Given that he’s supposedly a christian who believes in hell, if I were him I’d be trying to cheat death as long as possible too. As to why we let him cheat death by cutting the heart transplant waiting list line, well, that was a travesty of justice. I don’t know who he stole a heart from but they were far more worthy of life than Dick Cheney.
Not Sure
@Wally Ballou: Don’t hate on the Red Sox. One more WS flag, and they can claim 21st century dominance over the even more hated Yankees.
David Kasunick
@Bill E Pilgrim: It’s Still Ticking!