Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The words do not have to be perfect.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

I really should read my own blog.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Nothing worth doing is easy.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Hot air and ill-informed banter

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

The willow is too close to the house.

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Open Thread

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santas_helpers

I’ve just returned from a perfectly lovely mini-vacation in the Keys. How lovely was it? So lovely that even the Gators’ allowing a sub-par Georgia team to beat them like a circus monkey for three quarters only to attempt and fall short of a come-back couldn’t prompt more than a brief frown. So lovely that even the hapless Tampa Bay Bucs’ blowing a 21-point lead in an epic fourth quarter collapse to remain winless couldn’t elicit more than an incredulous guffaw.

The Keys (the middle part, anyway) are even more overrun with iguanas than they were last time I visited. I spent much of my time lolling in a hammock, from which I could observe a clump of scrub palms that seemed to serve as the hub of local iguana operations: They issued forth from this cluster of vegetation to stalk insects all over the property.

It was too windy to boat or fish (in my opinion — others differed!), so I read, lounged, ate gourmet fare mostly prepared by people who were not me, drank champagne and wine, played games and paid absolutely no attention whatsoever to news or politics.

On this trip, I was vacationing with friends rather than family, which is unusual for me. When I got home and flopped on the couch, my dogs (who weigh around 60 pounds each) came up on the sofa and sat on me for an hour or so to make sure I was really staying. My daughter showed me this hideous concoction she had made with homemade icing and candy corn that was supposed to resemble corn on the cob. Luckily, I wasn’t expected to eat it, given my delicate post-vacation condition.

Looks like we’ve been having some technical difficulties, maybe? Or could be just me? Anyway, what’s new?

Reader Interactions

155Comments

  1. 1.

    Cacti

    Remember, remember, the 5th of November…

    And that the guy who’s visage you dudebros like to wear on masks was a religious terrorist trying to re-establish Roman Catholic dominance of Great Britain.

    I wonder if 400 years from now, kids will wear masks of Timothy McVeigh or Osama bin Laden.

  3. 3.

    Violet

    It’s Voting Day! I am going to vote shortly. I’m still trying to read up on a bunch of propositions that need voting on. I was too busy to vote early and the last couple of times I did vote early the lines were ridiculous. It’s easier to vote on the actual day–short lines.

  5. 5.

    shortstop

    Glad you had fun. Wherever I am, I could watch the local wildlife all day long.

    Mind telling us where you stayed? Always looking for Keys spots.

  7. 7.

    OzarkHillbilly

    Anyway, what’s new?

    Rand Paul got busted for plagiarizing stuff for his book. Oh wait a minute, you asked what was new… Nothing. Republicans are still Republicans, Democrats are still Democrats, and independents are still both.

  10. 10.

    Ash Can

    No, it’s not just you; the server has indeed crapped its pants again. It seems to have been OK for the past hour or so, though.

    And what the heck is that? Municipal Christmas decorations going up in your neck of the woods already? I suppose that when you live somewhere that doesn’t have an obvious change of seasons, one holiday looks like another.

  11. 11.

    MomSense

    Going to vote today!! I love voting for good candidates. Also too our candidate for governor Mike Michaud came out in a big way yesterday. He is getting a bad rap on some progressive blogs because he is a blue dog–however he is a pro choice, pro ACA, pro union, pro teacher, pro environment blue dog or just socially conservative enough to win our conservative 2nd District.

    People should also know that the independent Elliott Cutler is not a progressive on many economic issues and Kay would not approve of his school choice ideas.

  13. 13.

    Xantar

    Why is Newsmax reporting about Obama getting a private screening of Mandela? Are we supposed to think seeing Idris Elba on the screen is going to radicalize our president or something?

  18. 18.

    KG

    @raven: the SEC has been a bit of a mess this year, and the string of injuries the Bulldogs have had doesn’t help much. An OT win against Tennessee (that they were losing most of the way), loses to Missouri (which is not as bad as it sounds) and Vanderbilt doesn’t exactly scream “rousing success” either.

  24. 24.

    Betty Cracker

    @raven: C’mon, Raven — you have every reason to be happy about the last few FL-GA games, but you’re not seriously trying to argue that this isn’t a sub-par year for the Dawgs, are you? If you have a great football program — and Georgia generally does! — three losses = sub-par.

  25. 25.

    lamh36

    @Xantar: Newsmax can make any thing sinister…can’t wait to see what the headline they would come up with if they screened 12 Years A Slave.

    BTW, as a big fan of both brothers, I’m hoping that Pete Souza’s camera is full of film and I get lots of pics of my fav brothers together.

  26. 26.

    raven

    @KG: Tennessee led for exactly one minute in the entire game. If you saw the Vandy game you know exactly what happened there.

  28. 28.

    Suffern ACE

    Voted. And that’s about it for my political participation for the day. I had village, town and county leaders to fill, plus village and town legislators to fill. I don’t trust either party to run the county and trust the anti-corruption reformers even less.

  30. 30.

    raven

    @Gator90: We have a shot, we’ve played the run better than the pass but Auburn is crankin ir out. What we need is for you weenies to do just enough to keep that idiot as coach for another decade.

  33. 33.

    Betty Cracker

    @Gator90: What are your thoughts on Muschamp? I’m thinking we mortgage the clock tower for a salary sufficient to lure Charlie Strong home.

  34. 34.

    Another Holocene Human

    Sounds like you had a good time, Betty.

    Crist announced he’s running for governor as a Democrat. Gators lost, FSU won. Heh heh heh.

    Fest 12 was awesome. Started in Ybor City then wound its way up to Gainesville to take the edge off the way they fratty crowd trashed the place on Thursday. I wish Fest happened twice a year. Love it.

  37. 37.

    Suffern ACE

    @Xantar: (psst. Black President is watching black movie. Just like he invites those mau mauing gansta rappers like Common to soil the white house.)

  39. 39.

    KG

    @raven: misremembered the Tennessee game. And I get that there were a ton of injuries this year (which I even mentioned). But as @Betty Cracker said, UGA tends to have higher standards than most other programs. It’s not a bad thing to be a program that looks at a season with 3 or 4 losses as a bad year. I mean, would you rather be Kentucky, where 4 WINS is considered a great year?

  40. 40.

    Betty Cracker

    @raven: Team, season — I’d stand by both statements, actually. That said, “sub-par” is better than “subterranean,” which is where my reptiles are at…Georgia alum Muschamp needs to get the hell out of Gainesville. I suspect he is a mole!

  42. 42.

    Ash Can

    @schrodinger’s cat: Gah. I haven’t heard any around here yet (probably because store owners know that October is all about Halloween in these parts), but then, I tend to tune that crap out. I keep my radio at home tuned to the local classical station, and the Christmas music they play is the kind of music that makes for good listening all year round.

  43. 43.

    Steeplejack

    @raven:

    Lighten up, Francis. She said “a sub-par Georgia team,” in which team is virtually synonymous with season, unless Georgia is playing the same people for five or 10 years. Which they might be. I don’t know. It’s irresponsible not to speculate.

  44. 44.

    Another Holocene Human

    @Betty Cracker: Don’t even joke about auctioning the carillon tower. That’s just plain mean.

    Unless you mean the courthouse clock tower downtown. Which is even crueler when you think about it.

    /have to stop talking about this b/c I’m just going to start crying about the income inequality here, which is not funny at all

  45. 45.

    low-tech cyclist

    @Napoleon: OK, I can get there in IE, which normally I don’t use at all.

    When I copy the URL into Firefox, it does a really odd thing: it replaces ‘msnbc’ with ‘nbcnews’ which results in a URL for a nonexistent page. It’s never done that before.

  48. 48.

    Violet

    Oklahoma Republican Sen. Tom Coburn has been diagnosed with a recurrence of prostate cancer and is seeking treatment.

    A spokesman says Coburn, a survivor of a 2011 bout with the disease, is “undergoing further evaluation and treatment.”

    Coburn has battled colon cancer and melanoma in the past.

    Link.

  49. 49.

    IowaOldLady

    When I voted this morning, my fellow little old ladies asked me to scan my driver’s license. I asked if Iowa had a voter ID law and they said no, it was just to “make it easier for the computer.” Then they asked me the month and date of my birth, which I assume is some sort of voter verification tactic, though at least it’s one everyone could deliver on, I suppose. I let them scan my license. After I got home I wondered what would have happened if I didn’t have a license.

  50. 50.

    Another Holocene Human

    @lamh36: Will be catching that movie next monday. So pissed about the limited release… couldn’t find anywhere in driving distance where it was showing although maybe the website was just being coy. fuckyounewyorkcityfuckingfuckers!!!

    the worst thing is that Thor Chronicles Legacy II comes out the same day & my wife is hormonal about Loki so We Must See It possibly on the same day meh, damn, and blast. It looks really stupid and I won’t be able to see the Agents of SHIELD tie in episode until 2 weeks later, I think, since I watch it on abc.com and they are annoying. Look, dickbags, I do know how you use torrent. And your ads are annoying. Just think on that and get back to me. Ugh.

  55. 55.

    ruemara

    @low-tech cyclist: Difficulties with the website? This means we should shut down MSNBC and start over.

    I keep getting up and wondering where the cats are. Or why I don’t hear someone in the litter box. Or why they haven’t come to explain to me that it’s up time and they’d like breakfast please. On the positive side, I’ve officially started collecting all the things to have a yard sale this weekend. I can’t wait to clear out the crap the ex dropped off before he left. Literally, he stayed over to get the cats’ things together and the last night he was here, I left a normal apartment and came back to apartment + .33 another apartment. Obviously, “I’ve taken care of all my stuff” meant, “I’ve dumped this on you and-oh look-my flight, good luck!”

    @lamh36: Hippy Hoppy Bithudah!

  56. 56.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @low-tech cyclist: I lost Benen (as far as my bookmark) a couple weeks ago when MSNBC launched their new website. I think if you go through MSNBC dot com you could find it again, but I keep forgetting

    @Violet: for which I’m sure he will refuse any Medicare

  57. 57.

    Violet

    @ruemara: Hey, making money off the crap he left isn’t too bad of a deal. Except for the work of holding a yard sale. Treat yourself to something nice with the money you make.

  58. 58.

    Ferdzy

    Should anyone here still be following the story, it looks like Toronto’s Mayor Rob Ford. has admitted to smoking crack. But he’s totes not an addict or an alcoholic!

    Thanks, Rob. I do like to get my daily dose of schadenford.

  59. 59.

    Mnemosyne

    We’re going to take a four-day weekend in a couple of weeks and I.cannot.wait. When your week-long summer “vacation” is herding the cats to get everyone to your dad’s memorial, it isn’t very relaxing (to say the least).

  60. 60.

    Comrade Mary

    I am not making this up: Rob Ford admits smoking crack just once, probably in one of his drunken stupors, he can’t exactly remember when.

  61. 61.

    Ash Can

    @Citizen_X: I’m sure the Dolphins knew they were getting a head case when they took him on. They’re at fault for not acting accordingly and keeping him on a short leash. I blame Incognito for doing it in the first place, and I’m blaming the Dolphins for not coming down on him like a ton of bricks for so much as looking at his teammate funny.

  62. 62.

    Mnemosyne

    @ruemara:

    Well, at least you can sell his excess crap with a clear conscience. It’s not like he didn’t know you were having a yard sale, right?

    Also, too, I’ve always heard that the trick with a yard sale is to sell everything you can and arrange to have the charity truck there either at the end of the day or first thing in the morning so you don’t take all of the unsold crap back into the house. If people don’t buy it at the sale, just give it away and take the tax break.

  63. 63.

    Eric U.

    our new rescue escaped and went on a fairly extensive romp just as I was leaving for work. He was a stray, so I was pretty worried he was gone for good before we had even signed the papers. But when I finally gave up looking and went home, there he was. He fell for the old trick where you offer to take him on a walk if only he will jump in the car.

  65. 65.

    Cervantes

    @Xantar: Why is Newsmax reporting about Obama getting a private screening of Mandela?

    Just goes to show that Obama hasn’t stopped palling around with terrorists.

  67. 67.

    GregB

    Ford’s excuse for smoking crack was that he was too effed-up on meth, bath salts and krokodil to know what he was doing.

  70. 70.

    Mike in NC

    @lamh36:

    Newsmax can make any thing sinister…can’t wait to see what the headline they would come up with if they screened 12 Years A Slave.

    “The Best Years of Their Lives”

  74. 74.

    Gator90

    @Betty Cracker: I’m not sure what I think of Muschamp. To me, so much comes down to how you recruit the quarterback position. Jimbo Fisher recruited Jameis Winston and is now a genius. Charlie Strong is a hot commodity in large part because he recruited Teddy Bridgewater. Muschamp’s big QB recruit was … Driskel. If Driskel were better, Muschamp would appear smarter. With that said, I like your Charlie Strong plan because he did a great job for UF in the past and is a proven recruiter.

  76. 76.

    Sophist

    @Violet:

    Oklahoma Republican Sen. Tom Coburn has been diagnosed with a recurrence of prostate cancer and is seeking treatment.

    Good thing he spends most of his time with his head up his ass, makes early detection a snap.

  81. 81.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Comrade Mary: Funny how this tawdry tale is putting a spotlight on Toronto, which is usually an out-of-sight, out-of-mind place as far as most Americans are concerned. Ford really needs to resign. Not being prudish but if you’re so drunk that you can’t remember whether you smoked crack, you need to get help.

  86. 86.

    Geoduck

    Washington state does it entirely by mail now, so I voted a couple of days ago. The only thing that I’m really interested in is Initiative 522, which would require labeling of genetically-modified foods. The corps have been pouring in money to get it voted down; we’ll see if the resulting advertising blitz succeeds or not.

  87. 87.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Mnemosyne: Is that the Canadian version of, “I did not have sex with that woman?”

    Sounds to me more like a version of “I am not gay, I have never been gay, I have a very wide stance”

  89. 89.

    raven

    @KG: I have enough of a problem with Georgia fans bad mouthing this team. I won’t stand for it from lizard breaths. I have taken great care to always be civil to Betty and will continue to do so but beating their sorry fucking asses three years in a row is a cause for great joy up in here.

  90. 90.

    Amir Khalid

    @Patricia Kayden:
    I think the problem is, if you’ve got such a sense of entitlement that you think you can get away with getting so drunk that you can’t remember afterwards if you smoked any crack, then you’re a long way off realising that you shouldn’t be in public office.

  91. 91.

    Joey Maloney

    @Comrade Mary: Yeah, I can’t quite bring myself to roll a tear for him. He’s going to keep his cushy government job despite having admitted to felonies.

    I don’t know Canadian law; is there any provision to remove him before the next election?

  93. 93.

    danielx

    @Betty Cracker:

    Betty, can also recommend Big Pine Key Fishing Lodge, if you feel like going farther down. Laid back and wonderful, and fantastic snorkeling. However, beware of the raccoons if camping or walking at night, the bastards move around in packs and they ain’t skeered of nothin’. Learned a valuable lesson about NEVER leaving anything edible in the tent…

  100. 100.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I thoroughly and passionately disagree with Tom Coburn on pretty much every policy position he’s ever taken. I wouldn’t vote for him for street sweeper and I hope he will resign his Senate seat very soon on account of health problems (he’s already announced he won’t be running for a third term in 2016). By all means, let’s call out his hypocrisy, and let’s hope he’s not in a position of power much longer.

    But c’mon, Juicers. To celebrate the fact that someone has cancer??? Aren’t we better than that?*

    *Rhetorical question. And i admit my own hypocrisy is showing, as I plan to make an exception for the individual who preceded Joe Biden as VPOTUS. That day can’t come fast enough, and whether it’s cancer, heart, or a fatal whiff of garlic, I expect it to be a gleeful moment.

  102. 102.

    shortstop

    @Betty Cracker: Right, I was hoping you could be more specific, but I understand why you might not want to here.

    I think my problem with the Middle Keys — all the Keys, really — is that I always want everything to go for about 1992 prices. This is ludicrous, because it’s not like I ever even went to the Keys in the 1990s, plus I have no trouble adjusting my mind to present-day prices anywhere else. Anyway, there seems to be a dearth of options in the space between luxury joints and truly scary roach motels in the Keys, so I’m always looking for ideas.

  105. 105.

    Bob In Portland

    @Geoduck: Watching the ads across the Columbia has piqued my interest. You know when they have the serious Asian woman in the white coat with the stethoscope hanging around her neck warning you about the dangers of knowing what you put in your body that the stakes are high.

  107. 107.

    tybee

    @raven: nope but if there was a lot of garbage, either it was a typical weekend or the locals are sunning themselves.

    tybee beach after a weekend is truly a garbage dump. the city of tybee does a fine job of cleaning it up but the visitors are pigs.

    was there a particular garbage incident on the beach? i was pretty much all over tybee yesterday, documenting the high tides for the city of tybee’s sea rise project but i didn’t notice much out of the ordinary.

  108. 108.

    raven

    @tybee: I meant St Simons. We have friends that live on Tybee and it sounds like they just stay off the beach on the weekends.

  109. 109.

    ruemara

    @SiubhanDuinne: I’m not celebrating. I’m just marvelously free of sympathy for him. However, I do recognize that people who love him are concerned and I wish them well.

  110. 110.

    Comrade Mary

    @Joey Maloney: He can’t be removed from office: Toronto has no no impeachment, no recall elections. The only way he can be made to leave if he is charged, tried, convicted and imprisoned.

    But city council was already moving to neuter him before his admission, as they have a couple of motions in play that will require that he fully comply with the cops (he won’t speak with them, as he has not yet been arrested or charged), plus suspending his ability to appoint and remove members of his executive committee.

  111. 111.

    Betty Cracker

    @shortstop: I’d be glad to share the actual place via email, but if you’re looking for a bargain (as I usually am as well), this definitely ain’t it. I’ve been going to the keys for decades, and you’re right about the dearth of middle-range options. I usually lean toward the skeevier “botels” myself, but the folks who coordinated this recent shindig have higher standards and deeper pockets.

  112. 112.

    Botsplainer

    @Betty Cracker:

    What are your thoughts on Muschamp? I’m thinking we mortgage the clock tower for a salary sufficient to lure Charlie Strong home.

    Can’t have Charlie. He’s got a home here as long as he wants, with as much money as he wants.

  116. 116.

    burnspbesq

    @KG:

    At least they waited until after Halloween.

    Barely. I was at South Coast Plaza at 5:00 a.m. on 11/1 and they were hard at work putting the “Holiday” stuff up.

  117. 117.

    some guy

    @shortstop:

    some affordable motels in Big Pine Key. we are campers, so if Bahia Honda is booked we head over to the KOA on Big Pine Key.

  120. 120.

    handsmile

    Last night’s Daily Show segment on Rob Ford, the crack mayor of Toronto (with crack as a noun, not adjective), was Jon Stewart at his sardonic and vulgar best:

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/toronto-mayor-rob-ford-gets-the-jon-stewart-treatment-video

    Of course, the segment that followed it (“correspondent” Al Madrigal reporting on the Virginia gubernatorial race) was nothing less than damning evidence for the indictment that Stewart/TDS is Broder 2.0. (with a doctor’s permission, find your own link)

  123. 123.

    Anoniminous

    Tis the season wherein tens of millions of Americans will purchase useless shit, mostly at price plus 23% interest, to give to people that don’t want it who gave them useless shit they don’t want, mostly at price plus 23% interest.

    Bah. Humbug.

  124. 124.

    shelly

    Newsmax can make any thing sinister…

    And they’re shocked…shocked to discover that Obama actually plays golf. Has any other President played that dastardly sport?

  125. 125.

    KG

    @handsmile: I don’t know, the spot on the VA race seemed like fair play to me. Everyone has been through an election or two where the nominees seemed like terrible choices. That’s how I felt on the presidential elections in 2000 and 2004 and any election in California involving Gray Davis

  126. 126.

    some guy

    @shortstop:

    KOA also has a campground at Sugraloaf Key. Other affordable optiosn we have stayed at are the Dolphin Marina at Little torch key, and the Looee Key Dive Resort at Ramrod Key. Bahai Honda you need to make reservations a year in advance. :-(

  127. 127.

    debit

    @jeffreyw: He reminds of my cat Oliver. Is it possible Homer is a (or part) Turkish Van? Oliver ruthlessly beat down every other animal in the house until his authority was established, and now rules the house with an iron paw.

    (He’s a little frustrated with our rescue kitten who, sadly, thinks these attempts at dominance are instead play and enthusiastically reciprocates.)

  130. 130.

    handsmile

    @KG:

    Well, in the Virginia gubernatorial race, there is only one “terrible” choice. A point that might be expanded upon should any of that state’s BJ regulars choose to weigh in here.

    As for 2000 and 2004, really? There was some hesitation on your part to vote for Gore or Kerry rather than Dubya?

  131. 131.

    debit

    For reference, rescue kitten Julian. He ‘s the one I trapped on the Greenway and thought was 4 months old at the time. The vet said closer to 8 weeks. He’s going to be a monster.

  133. 133.

    Betty Cracker

    @Botsplainer: I’d feel that way too if I were a Loo-uh-vull fan. But Charlie’s the real deal, and he’s going to want to compete for national championships eventually, plus stick a finger in the eye of those pricks who wouldn’t hire him when they had a chance. We’ll get him back.

  136. 136.

    debit

    @jeffreyw: He has just a ghosting of color on his tail, the same tabby pattern on his head. He has the rabbit soft fur of a Turkish Van, but not the body, so our vet thinks he’s a mix.

  139. 139.

    eemom

    @handsmile:

    I’d weigh in, except I’m too depressed to see the conventional clueless rearing its dumbshit head on this otherwise pleasant thread.

    @KG:

    Go read Cole’s post on this very topic and fucking learn something.

    Though, given your remarks re 2000 and 2004, you’re likely beyond hope.

  143. 143.

    Betty Cracker

    @raven: I have it on very good authoriteh that Mr. Strong loves Florida, even though he did feel (with justification, IMO) dissed by not getting the gig in the first place. Let’s just say I would not be shocked if he came back and would obviously rejoice.

  147. 147.

    raven

    @Betty Cracker: I guess if she’s comfortable with it who am I to say. I know there is plenty of thinking that Turner Gill didn’t get the Auburn job because of a similar family situation.

  148. 148.

    debit

    @Mnemosyne: Oh, I am his most loyal subject already. You remember how in Bambi all the animals in the spring were twitterpated? I am so stupid in love with him that my daughter calls me kittenpated.

  152. 152.

    CarolDuhart2

    @schrodinger’s cat: Unfortunately for you, yes. I like listening to Christmas music early, but at home in privacy. Keep the public stuff off until the day after Thanksgiving.

    Ahh..nostalgia. I can remember when there was such a thing as a “Christmas Eve Rush” when everybody stormed the stores the day before Xmas. Now it’s Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Thanksgiving Eve-and oh what the ell…

    and of course things are bad the other way….Valentine stuff on the shelves the day after Xmas combined with a few New Years Eve tsotckseses as well.

    No point on the calendar is allowed to be neutral and holiday free anymore.

  154. 154.

    Mnemosyne

    @debit:

    That’s the Maine Coon in him. Our most frequent nickname for Keaton (our MC mix) is “Mr. Charm and Personality.”

    You’ll know for sure if he keeps his tiny kittenish “mews” into adulthood. People who see me at the vet with Keaton’s carrier think I have a kitten in there, and are shocked when they find out he’s a full-grown 15-pounder.

  155. 155.

    John Weiss

    @Geoduck: Oregonians vote by mail as well. I can’t understand why the ‘turnout’ isn’t higher. It costs a stamp or a trip to the drop-off box.

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