• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

White supremacy is terrorism.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Second rate reporter says what?

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

“woke” is the new caravan.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Let there be snark.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / Things You And I Don’t Have To Worry About: Spurious Fantasies About Obese Old Men

Things You And I Don’t Have To Worry About: Spurious Fantasies About Obese Old Men

by Tom Levenson|  November 5, 20135:38 pm| 128 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

FacebookTweetEmail

This is just too delicious not to share, thus breaking my promise-to-self not to blog till a particular bit of work got out the door.

Seems that the Guardian’s Agony Aunt (advice) column had a doozy of a problem presented a few weeks ago under this headline:

I fantasise [sic] about sex with old, obese men

Anthonis_van_Dyck_054

It then goes on from there in a bit of a NSFW way — and it I’ll leave it to better forensic analysts than me to judge the likelihood there’s a real person behind the query. But the joy of all this is not the mild smut, nor the rubber necking pleasure that comes from watching a sentence start that can’t possibly end well, nor even the studied earnestness of the advice columnist’s reply (“…consider searching for the root…” and so on).  No, it lies with picture.  A shot of a very nice looking young woman in rather chic PJs, looking …well just about as you’d expect.  The catch is the person in the picture does not, in fact, lie back and think of geezers in the midst of her actual passions.  The model, Samantha Ovens, had posed for a stock shot a couple of years back, and she was as surprised as any to find out about her supposed illicit desires:

“I opened it up when I was with some friends,” says Ovens, who had been tipped off at the weekend by the Twitter whirlwind. “In fact, I was with my partner’s mum as well. I screeched with laughter and said: ‘Oh. You have to see this.’ There’s me looking very anxious, and I bloody well would be, wouldn’t I?”

Go check out the rest of the piece, also at the Guardian, snarking at the whole affair; harmless fun with which to ring in the cocktail hour.

So, yeah I guess this would count as an open thread.

Image: attributed to Anthony van Dyck, Drunken Silenus supported by Satyrs,  c. 1620

 

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « If You’re in New Jersey, Remember to Vote Today
Next Post: Tuesday Evening Open Thread: Kids, These Days! »

Reader Interactions

128Comments

  1. 1.

    WereBear

    November 5, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    Don’t party without the Satyrs.

  2. 2.

    Fred

    November 5, 2013 at 5:47 pm

    If you look past the beard the guy in the painting looks like Newt Gingrich. Tell me he doesn’t.

  3. 3.

    Ripley

    November 5, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    I guess this would count as an open thread.

    Open to what, exactly?

  4. 4.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 5, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    Oh noes, DougJ has reached Guardian!

  5. 5.

    Ash Can

    November 5, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    LOL! I was thinking when I saw the photo that it looked far more like she was portraying a sinus headache than sexual anxiety, and sure enough, she talks about the picture being part of a cold-symptom photo shoot. And she’s so good-natured about the whole thing.

  6. 6.

    Another Holocene Human

    November 5, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    My wife has a thing for older, overweight men. Which I am not, but she’s busy working on that weight part.

  7. 7.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 5, 2013 at 5:55 pm

    @Ripley: Innuendo

  8. 8.

    jeffreyw

    November 5, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    I thought at first that was me in that painting but I have all my hair, still.

  9. 9.

    Matthew B.

    November 5, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    Why the “[sic]” for British spelling?

  10. 10.

    max

    November 5, 2013 at 6:04 pm

    Image: attributed to Anthony van Dyck, Drunken Silenus supported by Satyrs, c. 1620

    “Taste the Rainbow”

    max
    [‘Dude!’]

  11. 11.

    WereBear

    November 5, 2013 at 6:05 pm

    Reminds me of how that young lady disappeared from the healthcare.gov website, lest she be hunted down by baying wingnuts.

  12. 12.

    Tom Levenson

    November 5, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    @Matthew B.: Because this is an American-centred blog?

  13. 13.

    Morbo

    November 5, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    But wait, it gets even better!

  14. 14.

    Matthew B.

    November 5, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    @Tom Levenson:

    Just wondered. You didn’t do it for “mum.”

  15. 15.

    kc

    November 5, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    What makes you think these fantasies are spurious? Plenty of people have weird fantasies.

    Other people, I mean. Not me.

  16. 16.

    David Brooks (not that one)

    November 5, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    And I assumed the painting was Noah, having his daughters-in-law fantasise [no sic; I’m British] in his general direction.

  17. 17.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 5, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    Day 4 of a bad cold, I am coughing non-stop. Do. not. want. The only bright spot in my dreary weekend was that sad kitteh made it to the FP of ICHC/lolcats over the weekend.

  18. 18.

    Tom Levenson

    November 5, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    @Matthew B.: @David Brooks (not that one): Me mum was English; my dad from Brookline. I spell badly in both dialects.

  19. 19.

    kindness

    November 5, 2013 at 6:16 pm

    I read Dan Savage, that is about my limit. The comments there can be funny but just as often they are pretty harsh.

  20. 20.

    Another Holocene Human

    November 5, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: aw, shkwee

  21. 21.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet

    November 5, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    Since it’s an open thread…

    Check out the response Mitch McConnell (R-Chelonii[) farted up when asked about the relative success of Kentucky’s insurance exchange:

    “Well, 85 percent of the people who’ve signed up in Kentucky have signed up for Medicaid. That’s free health care. If you want to give out free health care you’re going to have a lot of interest. Just like free anything else. There’ve also been, if you look at the statistics today, I believe I’m correct, about 270,000 cancellations of policies that people already had. So I know there’s been a great effort on the part of the administration and the governor of Kentucky to paint a pretty picture. The rollout is quite mixed — quite mixed — and largely people signing up for Medicaid. Free health care.”

    Implying his own constituents are freeloaders!

    I’d so wanna clock the fucker on the chin if he had one. The great thing is if he’s successfully primaried, even if the knuckle dragger that beat him wound up in his seat instead of a Dem, the Republicans would apparently lose a leader that is actually good at his job, as opposed the orange-stained clown-car fail parade (love that phrase!) in the other chamber.

  22. 22.

    JPL

    November 5, 2013 at 6:20 pm

    The NYTimes has released some of the exit polling from the VA race and hopefully someone can explain it to me.
    link I have a habit of reading too much into the questions and answers.

  23. 23.

    David Brooks (not that one)

    November 5, 2013 at 6:20 pm

    @Tom Levenson: Actually, I shouldn’t have snarked. [sic] can mean (a) Yes, I know it’s wrong, but this is a direct quote so I’m not suppozed to change it or (b) Yes, I know it looks wrong to you but it’s actually right for reasons you may not immediately realise. This is a (b), see?

  24. 24.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet

    November 5, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    @Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet:

    Dammit all, link failure, and no Edit button to save me. Here’s the story source:

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/mcconnell-addresses-obamacare-s-success-in-kentucky

  25. 25.

    El Cid

    November 5, 2013 at 6:22 pm

    I saw the article & the photo and assumed it a stock shot, but it didn’t occur to me that there might be ramifications for the model.

  26. 26.

    Mnemosyne

    November 5, 2013 at 6:25 pm

    @JPL:

    Some folks were saying yesterday that a lot of VA was hard-hit by the recent shutdown shenanigans because there are a LOT of federal employees and federal contractors who live there, so they’re probably more likely to be sour about the economy and about politicians.

    Weird that they only gave the “disapprove” numbers for Obama in the article when they barely added up to 50%.

  27. 27.

    JPL

    November 5, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Since they blamed the repubs for the shutdown, it appears that Cuccinelli didn’t help himself by campaigning with Republican congressmen. The pro-choice issue was higher than I thought which I assume would be good new.

  28. 28.

    WereBear

    November 5, 2013 at 6:32 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat: Congrats!

  29. 29.

    dmsilev

    November 5, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    Illinois House and Senate today passed a gay marriage bill. The governor has said he’ll sign it, so that’s one more state with legal gay marriage….

    …I blame Obama.

  30. 30.

    Fuzzy

    November 5, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    This “old fat white” dude is the mayor of Toronto with a Santa Claus beard just for the press.

  31. 31.

    gnomedad

    November 5, 2013 at 6:36 pm

    Run, Ted, run!
    Slogan: “Still Not Dead Or In Jail”

  32. 32.

    Elizabelle

    November 5, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    Years ago, some photographer took pictures of a good friend and me, as we sat in Lafayette Park having a heart to heart about something or other.

    He came up after and asked us to sign a waiver so that he could sell them. Very nice guy, but …

    I wouldn’t, because how do you know you won’t see yourself later in some “Friends are important as you live with herpes” or “it’s not just the elderly that are incontinent” campaign.

    Absolutely no control over the images.

  33. 33.

    LanceThruster

    November 5, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    Drunken Santa Claus supported by Elves…wait, what?

  34. 34.

    Bart

    November 5, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    You do know that the agony aunt is Pamela Stephenson, who rose to fame as part of the comedy troupe that gave the BBC the satirical comedy series “Not The Nine O’Clock News”? And that she met internationally renowned funnyman Billy Connolly while doing that show, and they fell in love and married?

  35. 35.

    JPL

    November 5, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Chuck Todd seemed to highlight the voters in VA who think the republicans have moved to far to the right. He also said VA is the state to watch. Of course, Morning Joe will talk about Christie’s big win.

  36. 36.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 5, 2013 at 6:51 pm

    @David Brooks (not that one):

    [no sic; I’m British]

    I always thought the exact line was “No sics, please, we’re British.”

  37. 37.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    Roaming the internets and ran across Early Exit Polls from Virginia:

    Four out of ten voters were Democrats compared to 3 out of ten who were Republican or Independent.

    Seven out of ten voters so far were white, two out of ten were black, and four percent were Hispanic.

    College graduates outnumber non-graduates by two to one.

    All voters were split 50/50 on their opinion towards Obamacare

    Six out of ten voters said they believed abortion should be legal

    A quarter of respondents said healthcare was the most important issue in Virginia

    Data time stamped 5:58 EST.

    On the face of it, good news for Democrats and may indicate a Dem blowout.

    ETA: thread needs moar rubber ducks

  38. 38.

    David Koch

    November 5, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    0

  39. 39.

    Mnemosyne

    November 5, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    OT, but fingers crossed — I put in an internal application for a new job today.

  40. 40.

    fuckwit

    November 5, 2013 at 7:05 pm

    @Tom Levenson: well played

  41. 41.

    fuckwit

    November 5, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    @Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet: and why is this a bad thing? what the fuck is wrong with free health care? sounds like a huge win for our country.

  42. 42.

    KG

    November 5, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    @Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet:

    I’d so wanna clock the fucker on the chin if he had one.

    He’s got like four, just hit all of them

  43. 43.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 7:09 pm

    New York Times exit poll.

    Women went for McAuliffe by 16 points. Among men Cuccinelli is leading McAuliffe by only 1 point.

    Holy s–t.

  44. 44.

    David Koch

    November 5, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    PPP does it again. They predicted a 7 pt Terry Mac win and exit polls showing Terry Mac winning by 8 pts.

  45. 45.

    KG

    November 5, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    @fuckwit: because somewhere, there is a shareholder not making as big a return on investment as they could have otherwise by investing in a company running the AIG playbook

  46. 46.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet

    November 5, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Speaking of internal applications, it’ll be interesting to see how well (or poorly) Cuccinelli fares overall with McAuliffe holding a 20-something point lead among women (the last I heard). It’s always nice when you find out that, yes, the electorate was actually paying attention.

  47. 47.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    November 5, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    aaaaand….. Chuck Todd finds bad news for Obama in the VA exit polls.

    What a fucking douche.

  48. 48.

    Thlayli

    November 5, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    @Bart:

    Pamela Stephenson did a year of SNL In the ’80s.

    I may be the only person in America who remembers that.

  49. 49.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet

    November 5, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    @Anoniminous: Ah, I see you’re quite on top of the numbers!

  50. 50.

    JPL

    November 5, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    @Anoniminous: nbc.com says it’s to early to call, not to close to call..

  51. 51.

    GregB

    November 5, 2013 at 7:14 pm

    Has E.W. Jackson delivered his victory sermon yet?

  52. 52.

    David Koch

    November 5, 2013 at 7:14 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Shorter Chuck Todd: Democratic sweep in Virginia in Great News for McCain!

  53. 53.

    KG

    November 5, 2013 at 7:15 pm

    @Anoniminous: the change from the last election is striking. Cuccinelli is way underperforming his predecessor. And the only age group he won was 65+.

  54. 54.

    JPL

    November 5, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    @David Koch: Hopefully, they send a message to the republican kook running for AG in VA.. The idea that if you have a miscarriage you have to report it is sick.

  55. 55.

    KG

    November 5, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    And Sarver, who is the Libertarian nominee (I think) is taking almost 10% of the vote. That’s probably going to convince some Teahadis that a third party candidate would be viable, because, hey why not?

  56. 56.

    PsiFighter37

    November 5, 2013 at 7:19 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Did he discover that people in SW VA don’t like the Kenyan socialist?

    Would like to get an election thread up, but looking good for T-Mac. More interested in seeing if that doucheturd Obenshain was able to position himself as non-crazy enough to slip past Herring in the AG race there.

    Cast my votes (straight Democratic ticket, no to ca$inos) here in NYC. Hope Comrade de Blasiovich stomps the living shit out of Lhota.

  57. 57.

    max

    November 5, 2013 at 7:20 pm

    @David Koch: Shorter Chuck Todd: Democratic sweep in Virginia in Great News for McCain!

    And even Chunk Todd’s pro-R spin is saying the R’s should maybe panic. HA!

    I figure Mac finishes with just about 51% of the vote. The Coocher gets 42-43. (They hate him! They really hate him!)

    max
    [‘This here whitish man got his three voters out for Mac today. I don’t know what those other 59% fuckers were thinking.’]

  58. 58.

    David Koch

    November 5, 2013 at 7:21 pm

    Chuck Todd looks like someone just told him his mistress died.

  59. 59.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    November 5, 2013 at 7:22 pm

    @PsiFighter37: @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Did he discover that people in SW VA don’t like the Kenyan socialist?

    Republicans may be losing in VA, but Barack Obama’s approval rating is down to (send the children from the room and wait for the scary organ music) Forty…. Six…. Percent!

    We’re doooooomed.

  60. 60.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    @Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet:

    I live for this stuff. Especially when a (explictive deleted) Gopper is getting stomped.

    @JPL:

    That’s standard. They will wait until the vote counts reach or pass their trigger point before calling it.

    @KG:

    In the most important demographics Cuccinelli is under performing by double digits. I’m thinking this is good news for Herring.

  61. 61.

    JPL

    November 5, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    @Anoniminous: I’m streaming MSNBC and they might as well call it.

  62. 62.

    PsiFighter37

    November 5, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Apparently he was down to 39% in the daily tracking for Gallup? That’s not great, but if the administration can get the website shit sorted out in the next few weeks, he should bounce back. Also, too, the GOP will get another chance to shoot itself in the foot in a couple months when the government shutdown stuff comes back again. I bet Ted Cruz will gladly pull the trigger on that one.

    @max: Kind of scary that a moron like Cucinelli can get that much of the vote. The GOP ran Jim Gilmore against Mark Warner in 2008, and he got absolutely crapped on – mid-30% of the vote. I know Gilmore is nothing special, and Warner was/(is?) exceptionally popular, but he wasn’t any worse than your standard conservative Republican. Cooch is full-on nutter, and he’s doing better.

    Did the exit polls do anything on the AG race in VA?

  63. 63.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    @JPL:

    Not with less than 1% of the vote counted.

  64. 64.

    Yatsuno

    November 5, 2013 at 7:33 pm

    @Anoniminous: What about the AG race?

  65. 65.

    gbear

    November 5, 2013 at 7:33 pm

    What’s not to like about old, obese men? Hmmm?

    OT, the kitty of my new neighbors that went missing a couple of nights ago turned up today in the neighbor’s garage. We all let out a collective ‘Yay!’ and are hoping that the new neighbors see the light about keeping the kitty indoors. This neighborhood already has too many strays (and raptors).

  66. 66.

    max

    November 5, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    @PsiFighter37: Kind of scary that a moron like Cucinelli can get that much of the vote. The GOP ran Jim Gilmore against Mark Warner in 2008, and he got absolutely crapped on – mid-30% of the vote. I know Gilmore is nothing special, and Warner was/(is?) exceptionally popular, but he wasn’t any worse than your standard conservative Republican. Cooch is full-on nutter, and he’s doing better.

    Nothing on the AG race, sorry.

    My (new!) age group comprised 45% of the vote and Cooch lost them 46-48. The older folks went for Cooch by a bare 50-46%, and Cooch got creamed in 18-44 (but they didn’t turn out so much).

    To me it looks like this was a fairly standard off-year electorate in Virginia – substantially older and whiter. And Cooch is losing that anyways. In any electorate with more turnout (2014? 2016), Cooch would sink like a stone.

    max
    [‘Another words, to underperform Mitt Romney in a race with a much more favorable electorate is very bad news for Republicans not named John McCain.’]

  67. 67.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    @Yatsuno:

    Can’t find any exit polling numbers.

    ETA: early reports has Mark Obenshain at 58.0% and
    Mark Herring with 42.0% from solid red territory

  68. 68.

    gbear

    November 5, 2013 at 7:36 pm

    @GregB:

    Has E.W. Jackson delivered his victory sermon yet?

    He’ll deliver a victory sermon whether he wins or loses. He can’t fail, but the elections can fail him.

  69. 69.

    Elizabelle

    November 5, 2013 at 7:36 pm

    @gbear:

    Great news that the kitty is found.

  70. 70.

    PsiFighter37

    November 5, 2013 at 7:39 pm

    @gbear: It should be good popcorn watching, no matter what happens.

    I do hope Cooch obliges us and spills some tears when he concedes. Nothing tastes better than teabagger tears.

  71. 71.

    shelly

    November 5, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    And even Chunk Todd’s pro-R spin is saying the R’s should maybe panic. HA!

    But , at least for tonight, he’ll have Chris Christe to keep him warm.

  72. 72.

    Mnemosyne

    November 5, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    @gbear:

    I think Werebear had a piece on her blog about kitties needing to stay indoors for the first few weeks after a move to re-set their internal “radar.”

  73. 73.

    beltane

    November 5, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    @PsiFighter37: Santorum’s 2006 concession was the gold standard in this area.

  74. 74.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    @shelly:

    That evokes images I’d rather not have had.

    Thank you very much.

  75. 75.

    gbear

    November 5, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    @Elizabelle: Yes. It’s a great relief for everyone.

    @Mnemosyne: I was wondering if maybe the kitten was trying to find it’s way back to it’s old neighborhood.

  76. 76.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 5, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    @Mnemosyne: I am crossing everything for you!!

  77. 77.

    shelly

    November 5, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    “the kitty of my new neighbors that went missing a couple of nights ago turned up today in the neighbor’s garage.”
    ********

    Always great to hear good pet news.

  78. 78.

    beltane

    November 5, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    I am looking forward to Robespierre Stalin’s, er, Bill de Blasio’s win in NYC. Maybe the NY Post’s editorial board will flee to Dubai.

  79. 79.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    @beltane:

    Looking forward to that one, too.

  80. 80.

    Redshirt

    November 5, 2013 at 7:49 pm

    @beltane: The photo of Santorum conceding with his family in various stages of despair besides him is the best. I still chuckle over it so many years later.

  81. 81.

    David Koch

    November 5, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    @PsiFighter37: the daily gallup poll that said Mittens was winning by 7 pts on election eve

  82. 82.

    MikeJ

    November 5, 2013 at 7:54 pm

    With 20% in:

    REP Party Ken T. Cuccinelli II 137,062 52.38%
    DEM Party Terry R. McAuliffe 104,595 39.97%

  83. 83.

    max

    November 5, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    @shelly: But , at least for tonight, he’ll have Chris Christe to keep him warm.

    And guess what?! Matthews just unloaded with [total paraphrase] ‘the newspapers showing a Christie win along with a T-Mac win and that shows American don’t like extremists of the left and right… {mutter} but they’re especially afraid of the right right now.’

    max
    [‘So two space filled in on meme Bingo! card!’]

  84. 84.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 5, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    @shelly:

    “the kitty of my new neighbors that went missing a couple of nights ago turned up today in the neighbor’s garage.”

    That just totally reads like a literal translation of a French homework exercise:
    “La cagnotte de mes nouveaux voisins qui ont disparu quelques nuits il ya mis en place aujourd’hui dans le garage du voisin.”

    Thanks, Google Translate!!

  85. 85.

    gbear

    November 5, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    @MikeJ: NOOOO!!!! WTF is going on?

  86. 86.

    GregB

    November 5, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    @MikeJ:

    Coochmentum!

  87. 87.

    PsiFighter37

    November 5, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    @beltane: I’ll need to forage around for that. It must’ve been good, considering the beating, rented-mule style, that Bob Casey put on Little Ricky that year.

  88. 88.

    WereBear

    November 5, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    @Elizabelle: Seconded!

  89. 89.

    gene108

    November 5, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    I just came across this in the NYT:

    THE biggest health care crisis in America right now is not the inexcusably messy rollout of Obamacare.

    No, far more serious is the kind of catastrophe facing people like Richard Streeter, 47, a truck driver and recreational vehicle repairman in Eugene, Ore. His problem isn’t Obamacare, but a tumor in his colon that may kill him because Obamacare didn’t come quite soon enough.

    Streeter had health insurance for decades, but beginning in 2008 his employer no longer offered it as an option. He says he tried to buy individual health insurance but, as a lifelong smoker in his late 40s, couldn’t find anything affordable — so he took a terrible chance and did without.

    At the beginning of this year, Streeter began to notice blood in his bowel movements and discomfort in his rectum. Because he didn’t have health insurance, he put off going to the doctor and reassured himself it was just irritation from sitting too many hours.

    “I thought it was driving a truck and being on your keister all day,” he told me. Finally, the pain became excruciating, and he went to a cut-rate clinic where a doctor, without examining him, suggested it might be hemorrhoids.

    By September, Streeter couldn’t stand the pain any longer. He went to another doctor, who suggested a colonoscopy. The cheapest provider he could find was Dr. J. Scott Gibson, a softhearted gastroenterologist who told him that if he didn’t have insurance he would do it for $300 down and $300 more whenever he had the money.

    Streeter made the 100-mile drive to Dr. Gibson’s office in McMinnville, Ore. — and received devastating news. Dr. Gibson had found advanced colon cancer.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/03/opinion/sunday/kristof-this-is-why-we-need-obamacare.html?_r=0

    I hope there are more stories like this and especially about the difference the working poor experience in states that opted out of the Medicaid expansion versus those that did not.

    The website problems aren’t going to kill anyone. The current status quo in health care in this country is.

    Why the fuck is that so hard for people to understand.

  90. 90.

    CarolDuhart2

    November 5, 2013 at 7:59 pm

    Rural Virginia is weighing in first, as what I’ve been told. The big vote is in Northern Virginia.

  91. 91.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    @MikeJ:

    No sweat. Only 4 precincts in NoVa have reported. Prince Edward is 100% in and it went according to the polling 50/42 McAuliffe..

  92. 92.

    gbear

    November 5, 2013 at 8:02 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I wrote it in native Minnesotan.

  93. 93.

    MikeJ

    November 5, 2013 at 8:06 pm

    @Anoniminous: Yeah, I’m not sweating it yet.

    Just got back from dropping off my ballot here in WA. Yes, I could have mailed it in a week ago. Sue me. My main concern is Tim Eyman losing.

  94. 94.

    Elizabelle

    November 5, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    @Anoniminous:

    Prince Edward County went 50% for Cuccinelli?

    This is the county that closed its schools from 1959-1964 rather than desegregate in the wake of Brown vs. the Board of Education. Massive Resistance central.

    Tee hee. Those shut out of the schools turned out to vote.

  95. 95.

    eemom

    November 5, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    Jeez, y’all……the early returns from moron districts are meaningless.

    And exit polls? Aren’t they like notoriously inaccurate?

    Patience. We’re gonna do this thing.

  96. 96.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    November 5, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    Good luck with that! Step up or sideways?

  97. 97.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    November 5, 2013 at 8:12 pm

    I have a (gay) friend who is, evidently, very into older overweight men. Unfortunately for him, I am straight.

    Worked, bought razor blades for the boy, bought cat food. Productive fucking day.

    Wife in the twin cities doorknocking.

  98. 98.

    JPL

    November 5, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    @David Koch: Is that true? I read Nate daily but didn’t follow daily polls.

  99. 99.

    max

    November 5, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    Well, NBC is projecting that Northam did in EW in the VA Lite Guv race.

    max
    [‘So no, the crazy man won’t be Lite Guv.’]

  100. 100.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    @gene108:

    Dunno.

    Why do people accept the fact twenty fucking percent of US CHILDREN are malnourished/go to bed hungry?

  101. 101.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    @Elizabelle:

    50% McAuliffe.

  102. 102.

    PsiFighter37

    November 5, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    NJ-Gov already called for Christie.

    Honestly, I have no idea why people think Christie is going to run for president. Aside from his assholishness not playing well outside of anywhere but the Northeast, does anyone really think he could handle the physical rigors of campaigning? Lap band surgery or not…he can’t get helicoptered around everywhere. Also, too…if the Romney campaign thought he had too many skeletons to make it past their VP vetting team, the Democrats will absolutely shred him in 2016.

    Methinks the whole hand-wringing is much ado about nothing. I can’t say the same for NJ teachers and unions…hope the political bosses in NJ get a firsthand experience in what crossing party lines and supporting a shithead like Christie means.

  103. 103.

    JPL

    November 5, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    So now NBC is saying that the VA race is to close to call.

  104. 104.

    Anya

    November 5, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    @max: Tweety is a simpleton.

  105. 105.

    beltane

    November 5, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    @PsiFighter37: In both style and substance, Christie reminds me of a more rotund Giuliani.

  106. 106.

    David Koch

    November 5, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    emo-prog chis hayes is concern trolling why TerryMac is only winning by 7 pts.

    No wonder his ratings are in the toilet.

  107. 107.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    November 5, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    @GregB:

    Phrasing!

  108. 108.

    Mnemosyne

    November 5, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    @Steeplejack (tablet):

    Thanks! It would be a little bit sideways, but with room at the top, unlike my current position. Plus my title would no longer include the word “secretary,” which would be nice.

  109. 109.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    @eemom:

    Exit polls, properly done, are accurate with 1%. What we are seeing is the low count rural counties reporting. The majority of votes are in Northern Virginia which are only now starting to report.

    ETA: Richmond is going 70% for McAufille with 17% reporting. With 35% reporting state wide, and Cuccinelli’s districts mostly in we should see this flip in the next hour.

  110. 110.

    Fort Geek

    November 5, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    @Ripley: Open to speculation! (It would be irresponsible not to, etc. etc.)

  111. 111.

    Elizabelle

    November 5, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    @Anoniminous:

    50% for McAuliffe in Prince Edward. That’s lovely.

    Why can’t NBC say there are not enough results in, not that it’s too close to call? That’s odd.

  112. 112.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    November 5, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    @PsiFighter37: Honestly, I have no idea why people think Christie is going to run for president

    I think the smart thing for him would be to wait, but I saw him at a campaign rally the other day telling supporters that “this story doesn’t end in New Jersey”. Political ego is a funny thing. Ted Cruz, Rick Santorum, Joe Lieberman and (at certain moments) Newt Gingrich and Michelle Bachmann all sincerely believed they could get to the WHite House

  113. 113.

    David Koch

    November 5, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    @PsiFighter37:

    I have no idea why people think Christie is going to run for president.

    You mean waddle for president.

  114. 114.

    max

    November 5, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    Oy. 31% of Democrats voted for Christie in New Jersey. 64% of ‘Independents’. That’s his margin of victory. Meantime:

    Compared with voters who went to the polls four years ago in Virginia, the demographics of the electorate in 2013 have shifted in small but meaningful ways.

    While 78 percent of Virginia’s voters were white in 2009, this year that figure is closer to 70 percent. In 2009, one-third of Virginia’s voters were white evangelical Christians. This year the proportion has dropped to one-quarter, according to exit polls by Edison Research.

    Virginia’s voters are now more highly educated than in 2009. College graduates have grown from just over half of the electorate to more than six in 10. Those with a high school degree or less have dropped from one-fifth of voters to one in seven.

    Finally, the partisanship of Virginia voters is more Democratic in 2013 than in 2009. Four years ago, self-described Republicans outnumbered self-described Democrats at the polls 37 percent to 33 percent. This year, the pattern is almost exactly reversed.

    The NJ 2013 electorate went for Christie the way the 2009 VA electorate went for McDonnell.

    max
    [‘You think Christie has been getting any expensive watches as ‘gifts’?’]

  115. 115.

    Violet

    November 5, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    @PsiFighter37:

    Honestly, I have no idea why people think Christie is going to run for president.

    Because he’s going to run. He may not get very far, but he’ll run.

  116. 116.

    max

    November 5, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    @PsiFighter37: Honestly, I have no idea why people think Christie is going to run for president.

    Because he has very obviously positioning himself in New Hampshire and Ioway. He is doing things that you only do when you intend to run for Prez.

    max
    [‘Hey, Guilani thought he was a shoe-in.’]

  117. 117.

    scav

    November 5, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    @dmsilev: !! but I’m still more or less hoping my uncles don’t make honest men of each other. Or, I keep going back and forth. They’re the only uncles worth keeping. It’s more the honest part than the hitched part that jars — Scamps with official benefits might be ideal.

  118. 118.

    GregB

    November 5, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    Christ Christie will not run for President. He’ll walk briskly.

  119. 119.

    Anoniminous

    November 5, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    @Elizabelle:

    Because that would be Journalism?

  120. 120.

    Mnemosyne

    November 5, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    @dmsilev:

    That means I can finally sit down with my brother-in-law and say, You know, you’re not getting any younger — isn’t it time you found a nice boy and settled down?

  121. 121.

    Anya

    November 5, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    @PsiFighter37: My mother-in-law on Christie: “he can’t control his food intake or temper, so how can we trust him with the government?”

    Of course it’s not okay to be that prejudiced againt people based on their waist size but she’s a Northeast Rockefeller Republican and she cannot stand him.

  122. 122.

    chopper

    November 5, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    @GregB:

    only for 20 feet. he’ll have taken a helicopter the rest of the way.

  123. 123.

    Anya

    November 5, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    @Elizabelle: They want to continue with the horse race crap till the last minute.

  124. 124.

    Elizabelle

    November 5, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    TPM: The Washington Times has booted Rand Paul over plagiarism, appearing on their very own pages. His September 20 column for them included material lifted from Forbes.

    Not sure if the Times is still owned by the Moonies. Their account:

    U.S. Sen. Rand Paul acknowledged Tuesday he had failed to properly source material in published writings, including a column in The Washington Times, after a string of embarrassing plagiarism accusations surfaced in recent days.

    Mr. Paul took personal responsibility for the oversights, which he and aides said were caused by staff providing him background materials that were not properly footnoted. [Ed: this is the senator taking personal responsibility?] But the Kentucky Republican, a possible 2016 White House candidate, also said he was being held by the news media to a higher standard than other politicians.

    “The standard I’m being held to is a little different than everybody else,” Mr. Paul said on CNN’s “The Situation Room.” “They’re now going back and reading every book from cover-to-cover and looking for places where we footnoted correctly and don’t have quotation marks in the right places or we didn’t indent correctly.”

    The Washington Times said Tuesday it had independently reviewed Mr. Paul’s columns and op-eds and published a correction to one column on Sept. 20 in which the senator had failed to attribute a passage that first appeared in Forbes.

    The newspaper and the senator mutually agreed to end his weekly column, which has appeared on each Friday in the newspaper since the summer.

    “We expect our columnists to submit original work and to properly attribute material, and we appreciate that the senator and his staff have taken responsibility for an oversight in one column,” Times Editor John Solomon said.

    Read more: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/nov/5/washington-times-ends-sen-rand-paul-column-amid-pl/#ixzz2jpC0G1CE
    Follow us: @washtimes on Twitter

  125. 125.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    November 5, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    @Anya: If anything, his weight has been neutral, I think. It raises very legitimate questions about his health, and his red-faced, wheezy two minute hates on Obama (pre-Sandy) at Romney rallies were off-putting to all but the most hateful, but it also gives him regular guy creed. And Chuck Todd can’t wait to wag his fingers at Democrats the first time some campaign volunteer in East Bumblefuck makes a poster with a fat joke.

    His temper, I can’t believe it hasn’t cost him more. MSNBC played his “something’s goin’ down tonight, Sweetheart…” clip today. I can’t believe that moment doesn’t’ get more attention. Besides being crude and bullying, it’s embarrassing, or should be.

  126. 126.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    November 5, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    @gene108:

    Mom died on 1/1/2010 for the same reason. Lifelong smoker and drinker. Had to drop her insurance because she (predictably) got fired for being a drunk.

    Had difficulty swallowing but never got checked. Incurable esophogeal cancer. Died.

  127. 127.

    Poopyman

    November 5, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    @Anoniminous: I rather pictured it like Luke inside the tauntaun on the ice planet Hoth.

    (Did a Google search because I couldn’t remember “tauntaun”. I see that somebody sells kids sleeping bags made to look like a tauntaun. Don’t know how I feel about that.)

  128. 128.

    Mnemosyne

    November 5, 2013 at 8:53 pm

    @Poopyman:

    The sleeping bag started as an April Fool’s joke by the Think Geek catalog, but they got such a huge response that they approached Lucasfilm and managed to get a license to produce it for reals.

    So, really, you only have your fellow Star Wars fans to blame.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Recent Comments

  • JPL on On The Road – BigJimSlade – Hiking in the Alps, Chamonix and Grindelwald 2022, Odds & Sods (Mar 24, 2023 @ 8:06am)
  • Deputinize Eurasia from the Kuriles to St Petersburg on Thank the Trickster God It’s Friday Open Thread: Waiting for the Big Reveal (Mar 24, 2023 @ 8:05am)
  • Baud on Thank the Trickster God It’s Friday Open Thread: Waiting for the Big Reveal (Mar 24, 2023 @ 8:05am)
  • RedDirtGirl on On The Road – BigJimSlade – Hiking in the Alps, Chamonix and Grindelwald 2022, Odds & Sods (Mar 24, 2023 @ 8:02am)
  • Spanky on Thank the Trickster God It’s Friday Open Thread: Waiting for the Big Reveal (Mar 24, 2023 @ 7:57am)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!