This is just too delicious not to share, thus breaking my promise-to-self not to blog till a particular bit of work got out the door.
Seems that the Guardian’s Agony Aunt (advice) column had a doozy of a problem presented a few weeks ago under this headline:
I fantasise [sic] about sex with old, obese men
It then goes on from there in a bit of a NSFW way — and it I’ll leave it to better forensic analysts than me to judge the likelihood there’s a real person behind the query. But the joy of all this is not the mild smut, nor the rubber necking pleasure that comes from watching a sentence start that can’t possibly end well, nor even the studied earnestness of the advice columnist’s reply (“…consider searching for the root…” and so on). No, it lies with picture. A shot of a very nice looking young woman in rather chic PJs, looking …well just about as you’d expect. The catch is the person in the picture does not, in fact, lie back and think of geezers in the midst of her actual passions. The model, Samantha Ovens, had posed for a stock shot a couple of years back, and she was as surprised as any to find out about her supposed illicit desires:
“I opened it up when I was with some friends,” says Ovens, who had been tipped off at the weekend by the Twitter whirlwind. “In fact, I was with my partner’s mum as well. I screeched with laughter and said: ‘Oh. You have to see this.’ There’s me looking very anxious, and I bloody well would be, wouldn’t I?”
Go check out the rest of the piece, also at the Guardian, snarking at the whole affair; harmless fun with which to ring in the cocktail hour.
So, yeah I guess this would count as an open thread.
Image: attributed to Anthony van Dyck, Drunken Silenus supported by Satyrs, c. 1620
WereBear
Don’t party without the Satyrs.
Fred
If you look past the beard the guy in the painting looks like Newt Gingrich. Tell me he doesn’t.
Ripley
Open to what, exactly?
schrodinger's cat
Oh noes, DougJ has reached Guardian!
Ash Can
LOL! I was thinking when I saw the photo that it looked far more like she was portraying a sinus headache than sexual anxiety, and sure enough, she talks about the picture being part of a cold-symptom photo shoot. And she’s so good-natured about the whole thing.
Another Holocene Human
My wife has a thing for older, overweight men. Which I am not, but she’s busy working on that weight part.
schrodinger's cat
@Ripley: Innuendo
jeffreyw
I thought at first that was me in that painting but I have all my hair, still.
Matthew B.
Why the “[sic]” for British spelling?
max
Image: attributed to Anthony van Dyck, Drunken Silenus supported by Satyrs, c. 1620
“Taste the Rainbow”
max
[‘Dude!’]
WereBear
Reminds me of how that young lady disappeared from the healthcare.gov website, lest she be hunted down by baying wingnuts.
Tom Levenson
@Matthew B.: Because this is an American-centred blog?
Morbo
But wait, it gets even better!
Matthew B.
@Tom Levenson:
Just wondered. You didn’t do it for “mum.”
kc
What makes you think these fantasies are spurious? Plenty of people have weird fantasies.
Other people, I mean. Not me.
David Brooks (not that one)
And I assumed the painting was Noah, having his daughters-in-law fantasise [no sic; I’m British] in his general direction.
schrodinger's cat
Day 4 of a bad cold, I am coughing non-stop. Do. not. want. The only bright spot in my dreary weekend was that sad kitteh made it to the FP of ICHC/lolcats over the weekend.
Tom Levenson
@Matthew B.: @David Brooks (not that one): Me mum was English; my dad from Brookline. I spell badly in both dialects.
kindness
I read Dan Savage, that is about my limit. The comments there can be funny but just as often they are pretty harsh.
Another Holocene Human
@schrodinger’s cat: aw, shkwee
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet
Since it’s an open thread…
Check out the response Mitch McConnell (R-Chelonii[) farted up when asked about the relative success of Kentucky’s insurance exchange:
“Well, 85 percent of the people who’ve signed up in Kentucky have signed up for Medicaid. That’s free health care. If you want to give out free health care you’re going to have a lot of interest. Just like free anything else. There’ve also been, if you look at the statistics today, I believe I’m correct, about 270,000 cancellations of policies that people already had. So I know there’s been a great effort on the part of the administration and the governor of Kentucky to paint a pretty picture. The rollout is quite mixed — quite mixed — and largely people signing up for Medicaid. Free health care.”
Implying his own constituents are freeloaders!
I’d so wanna clock the fucker on the chin if he had one. The great thing is if he’s successfully primaried, even if the knuckle dragger that beat him wound up in his seat instead of a Dem, the Republicans would apparently lose a leader that is actually good at his job, as opposed the orange-stained clown-car fail parade (love that phrase!) in the other chamber.
JPL
The NYTimes has released some of the exit polling from the VA race and hopefully someone can explain it to me.
link I have a habit of reading too much into the questions and answers.
David Brooks (not that one)
@Tom Levenson: Actually, I shouldn’t have snarked. [sic] can mean (a) Yes, I know it’s wrong, but this is a direct quote so I’m not suppozed to change it or (b) Yes, I know it looks wrong to you but it’s actually right for reasons you may not immediately realise. This is a (b), see?
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet
@Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet:
Dammit all, link failure, and no Edit button to save me. Here’s the story source:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/mcconnell-addresses-obamacare-s-success-in-kentucky
El Cid
I saw the article & the photo and assumed it a stock shot, but it didn’t occur to me that there might be ramifications for the model.
Mnemosyne
@JPL:
Some folks were saying yesterday that a lot of VA was hard-hit by the recent shutdown shenanigans because there are a LOT of federal employees and federal contractors who live there, so they’re probably more likely to be sour about the economy and about politicians.
Weird that they only gave the “disapprove” numbers for Obama in the article when they barely added up to 50%.
JPL
@Mnemosyne: Since they blamed the repubs for the shutdown, it appears that Cuccinelli didn’t help himself by campaigning with Republican congressmen. The pro-choice issue was higher than I thought which I assume would be good new.
WereBear
@schrodinger’s cat: Congrats!
dmsilev
Illinois House and Senate today passed a gay marriage bill. The governor has said he’ll sign it, so that’s one more state with legal gay marriage….
…I blame Obama.
Fuzzy
This “old fat white” dude is the mayor of Toronto with a Santa Claus beard just for the press.
gnomedad
Run, Ted, run!
Slogan: “Still Not Dead Or In Jail”
Elizabelle
Years ago, some photographer took pictures of a good friend and me, as we sat in Lafayette Park having a heart to heart about something or other.
He came up after and asked us to sign a waiver so that he could sell them. Very nice guy, but …
I wouldn’t, because how do you know you won’t see yourself later in some “Friends are important as you live with herpes” or “it’s not just the elderly that are incontinent” campaign.
Absolutely no control over the images.
LanceThruster
Drunken Santa Claus supported by Elves…wait, what?
Bart
You do know that the agony aunt is Pamela Stephenson, who rose to fame as part of the comedy troupe that gave the BBC the satirical comedy series “Not The Nine O’Clock News”? And that she met internationally renowned funnyman Billy Connolly while doing that show, and they fell in love and married?
JPL
@Mnemosyne: Chuck Todd seemed to highlight the voters in VA who think the republicans have moved to far to the right. He also said VA is the state to watch. Of course, Morning Joe will talk about Christie’s big win.
SiubhanDuinne
@David Brooks (not that one):
I always thought the exact line was “No sics, please, we’re British.”
Anoniminous
Roaming the internets and ran across Early Exit Polls from Virginia:
Data time stamped 5:58 EST.
On the face of it, good news for Democrats and may indicate a Dem blowout.
ETA: thread needs moar rubber ducks
David Koch
0
Mnemosyne
OT, but fingers crossed — I put in an internal application for a new job today.
fuckwit
@Tom Levenson: well played
fuckwit
@Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet: and why is this a bad thing? what the fuck is wrong with free health care? sounds like a huge win for our country.
KG
@Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet:
He’s got like four, just hit all of them
Anoniminous
New York Times exit poll.
Women went for McAuliffe by 16 points. Among men Cuccinelli is leading McAuliffe by only 1 point.
Holy s–t.
David Koch
PPP does it again. They predicted a 7 pt Terry Mac win and exit polls showing Terry Mac winning by 8 pts.
KG
@fuckwit: because somewhere, there is a shareholder not making as big a return on investment as they could have otherwise by investing in a company running the AIG playbook
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet
@Mnemosyne: Speaking of internal applications, it’ll be interesting to see how well (or poorly) Cuccinelli fares overall with McAuliffe holding a 20-something point lead among women (the last I heard). It’s always nice when you find out that, yes, the electorate was actually paying attention.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
aaaaand….. Chuck Todd finds bad news for Obama in the VA exit polls.
What a fucking douche.
Thlayli
@Bart:
Pamela Stephenson did a year of SNL In the ’80s.
I may be the only person in America who remembers that.
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet
@Anoniminous: Ah, I see you’re quite on top of the numbers!
JPL
@Anoniminous: nbc.com says it’s to early to call, not to close to call..
GregB
Has E.W. Jackson delivered his victory sermon yet?
David Koch
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Shorter Chuck Todd: Democratic sweep in Virginia in Great News for McCain!
KG
@Anoniminous: the change from the last election is striking. Cuccinelli is way underperforming his predecessor. And the only age group he won was 65+.
JPL
@David Koch: Hopefully, they send a message to the republican kook running for AG in VA.. The idea that if you have a miscarriage you have to report it is sick.
KG
And Sarver, who is the Libertarian nominee (I think) is taking almost 10% of the vote. That’s probably going to convince some Teahadis that a third party candidate would be viable, because, hey why not?
PsiFighter37
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Did he discover that people in SW VA don’t like the Kenyan socialist?
Would like to get an election thread up, but looking good for T-Mac. More interested in seeing if that doucheturd Obenshain was able to position himself as non-crazy enough to slip past Herring in the AG race there.
Cast my votes (straight Democratic ticket, no to ca$inos) here in NYC. Hope Comrade de Blasiovich stomps the living shit out of Lhota.
max
@David Koch: Shorter Chuck Todd: Democratic sweep in Virginia in Great News for McCain!
And even Chunk Todd’s pro-R spin is saying the R’s should maybe panic. HA!
I figure Mac finishes with just about 51% of the vote. The Coocher gets 42-43. (They hate him! They really hate him!)
max
[‘This here whitish man got his three voters out for Mac today. I don’t know what those other 59% fuckers were thinking.’]
David Koch
Chuck Todd looks like someone just told him his mistress died.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Republicans may be losing in VA, but Barack Obama’s approval rating is down to (send the children from the room and wait for the scary organ music) Forty…. Six…. Percent!
We’re doooooomed.
Anoniminous
@Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable sock puppet:
I live for this stuff. Especially when a (explictive deleted) Gopper is getting stomped.
@JPL:
That’s standard. They will wait until the vote counts reach or pass their trigger point before calling it.
@KG:
In the most important demographics Cuccinelli is under performing by double digits. I’m thinking this is good news for Herring.
JPL
@Anoniminous: I’m streaming MSNBC and they might as well call it.
PsiFighter37
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Apparently he was down to 39% in the daily tracking for Gallup? That’s not great, but if the administration can get the website shit sorted out in the next few weeks, he should bounce back. Also, too, the GOP will get another chance to shoot itself in the foot in a couple months when the government shutdown stuff comes back again. I bet Ted Cruz will gladly pull the trigger on that one.
@max: Kind of scary that a moron like Cucinelli can get that much of the vote. The GOP ran Jim Gilmore against Mark Warner in 2008, and he got absolutely crapped on – mid-30% of the vote. I know Gilmore is nothing special, and Warner was/(is?) exceptionally popular, but he wasn’t any worse than your standard conservative Republican. Cooch is full-on nutter, and he’s doing better.
Did the exit polls do anything on the AG race in VA?
Anoniminous
@JPL:
Not with less than 1% of the vote counted.
Yatsuno
@Anoniminous: What about the AG race?
gbear
What’s not to like about old, obese men? Hmmm?
OT, the kitty of my new neighbors that went missing a couple of nights ago turned up today in the neighbor’s garage. We all let out a collective ‘Yay!’ and are hoping that the new neighbors see the light about keeping the kitty indoors. This neighborhood already has too many strays (and raptors).
max
@PsiFighter37: Kind of scary that a moron like Cucinelli can get that much of the vote. The GOP ran Jim Gilmore against Mark Warner in 2008, and he got absolutely crapped on – mid-30% of the vote. I know Gilmore is nothing special, and Warner was/(is?) exceptionally popular, but he wasn’t any worse than your standard conservative Republican. Cooch is full-on nutter, and he’s doing better.
Nothing on the AG race, sorry.
My (new!) age group comprised 45% of the vote and Cooch lost them 46-48. The older folks went for Cooch by a bare 50-46%, and Cooch got creamed in 18-44 (but they didn’t turn out so much).
To me it looks like this was a fairly standard off-year electorate in Virginia – substantially older and whiter. And Cooch is losing that anyways. In any electorate with more turnout (2014? 2016), Cooch would sink like a stone.
max
[‘Another words, to underperform Mitt Romney in a race with a much more favorable electorate is very bad news for Republicans not named John McCain.’]
Anoniminous
@Yatsuno:
Can’t find any exit polling numbers.
ETA: early reports has Mark Obenshain at 58.0% and
Mark Herring with 42.0% from solid red territory
gbear
@GregB:
He’ll deliver a victory sermon whether he wins or loses. He can’t fail, but the elections can fail him.
Elizabelle
@gbear:
Great news that the kitty is found.
PsiFighter37
@gbear: It should be good popcorn watching, no matter what happens.
I do hope Cooch obliges us and spills some tears when he concedes. Nothing tastes better than teabagger tears.
shelly
But , at least for tonight, he’ll have Chris Christe to keep him warm.
Mnemosyne
@gbear:
I think Werebear had a piece on her blog about kitties needing to stay indoors for the first few weeks after a move to re-set their internal “radar.”
beltane
@PsiFighter37: Santorum’s 2006 concession was the gold standard in this area.
Anoniminous
@shelly:
That evokes images I’d rather not have had.
Thank you very much.
gbear
@Elizabelle: Yes. It’s a great relief for everyone.
@Mnemosyne: I was wondering if maybe the kitten was trying to find it’s way back to it’s old neighborhood.
SiubhanDuinne
@Mnemosyne: I am crossing everything for you!!
shelly
“the kitty of my new neighbors that went missing a couple of nights ago turned up today in the neighbor’s garage.”
********
Always great to hear good pet news.
beltane
I am looking forward to Robespierre Stalin’s, er, Bill de Blasio’s win in NYC. Maybe the NY Post’s editorial board will flee to Dubai.
Anoniminous
@beltane:
Looking forward to that one, too.
Redshirt
@beltane: The photo of Santorum conceding with his family in various stages of despair besides him is the best. I still chuckle over it so many years later.
David Koch
@PsiFighter37: the daily gallup poll that said Mittens was winning by 7 pts on election eve
MikeJ
With 20% in:
REP Party Ken T. Cuccinelli II 137,062 52.38%
DEM Party Terry R. McAuliffe 104,595 39.97%
max
@shelly: But , at least for tonight, he’ll have Chris Christe to keep him warm.
And guess what?! Matthews just unloaded with [total paraphrase] ‘the newspapers showing a Christie win along with a T-Mac win and that shows American don’t like extremists of the left and right… {mutter} but they’re especially afraid of the right right now.’
max
[‘So two space filled in on meme Bingo! card!’]
SiubhanDuinne
@shelly:
That just totally reads like a literal translation of a French homework exercise:
“La cagnotte de mes nouveaux voisins qui ont disparu quelques nuits il ya mis en place aujourd’hui dans le garage du voisin.”
Thanks, Google Translate!!
gbear
@MikeJ: NOOOO!!!! WTF is going on?
GregB
@MikeJ:
Coochmentum!
PsiFighter37
@beltane: I’ll need to forage around for that. It must’ve been good, considering the beating, rented-mule style, that Bob Casey put on Little Ricky that year.
WereBear
@Elizabelle: Seconded!
gene108
I just came across this in the NYT:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/03/opinion/sunday/kristof-this-is-why-we-need-obamacare.html?_r=0
I hope there are more stories like this and especially about the difference the working poor experience in states that opted out of the Medicaid expansion versus those that did not.
The website problems aren’t going to kill anyone. The current status quo in health care in this country is.
Why the fuck is that so hard for people to understand.
CarolDuhart2
Rural Virginia is weighing in first, as what I’ve been told. The big vote is in Northern Virginia.
Anoniminous
@MikeJ:
No sweat. Only 4 precincts in NoVa have reported. Prince Edward is 100% in and it went according to the polling 50/42 McAuliffe..
gbear
@SiubhanDuinne: I wrote it in native Minnesotan.
MikeJ
@Anoniminous: Yeah, I’m not sweating it yet.
Just got back from dropping off my ballot here in WA. Yes, I could have mailed it in a week ago. Sue me. My main concern is Tim Eyman losing.
Elizabelle
@Anoniminous:
Prince Edward County went 50% for Cuccinelli?
This is the county that closed its schools from 1959-1964 rather than desegregate in the wake of Brown vs. the Board of Education. Massive Resistance central.
Tee hee. Those shut out of the schools turned out to vote.
eemom
Jeez, y’all……the early returns from moron districts are meaningless.
And exit polls? Aren’t they like notoriously inaccurate?
Patience. We’re gonna do this thing.
Steeplejack (tablet)
@Mnemosyne:
Good luck with that! Step up or sideways?
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
I have a (gay) friend who is, evidently, very into older overweight men. Unfortunately for him, I am straight.
Worked, bought razor blades for the boy, bought cat food. Productive fucking day.
Wife in the twin cities doorknocking.
JPL
@David Koch: Is that true? I read Nate daily but didn’t follow daily polls.
max
Well, NBC is projecting that Northam did in EW in the VA Lite Guv race.
max
[‘So no, the crazy man won’t be Lite Guv.’]
Anoniminous
@gene108:
Dunno.
Why do people accept the fact twenty fucking percent of US CHILDREN are malnourished/go to bed hungry?
Anoniminous
@Elizabelle:
50% McAuliffe.
PsiFighter37
NJ-Gov already called for Christie.
Honestly, I have no idea why people think Christie is going to run for president. Aside from his assholishness not playing well outside of anywhere but the Northeast, does anyone really think he could handle the physical rigors of campaigning? Lap band surgery or not…he can’t get helicoptered around everywhere. Also, too…if the Romney campaign thought he had too many skeletons to make it past their VP vetting team, the Democrats will absolutely shred him in 2016.
Methinks the whole hand-wringing is much ado about nothing. I can’t say the same for NJ teachers and unions…hope the political bosses in NJ get a firsthand experience in what crossing party lines and supporting a shithead like Christie means.
JPL
So now NBC is saying that the VA race is to close to call.
Anya
@max: Tweety is a simpleton.
beltane
@PsiFighter37: In both style and substance, Christie reminds me of a more rotund Giuliani.
David Koch
emo-prog chis hayes is concern trolling why TerryMac is only winning by 7 pts.
No wonder his ratings are in the toilet.
Steeplejack (tablet)
@GregB:
Phrasing!
Mnemosyne
@SiubhanDuinne:
@Steeplejack (tablet):
Thanks! It would be a little bit sideways, but with room at the top, unlike my current position. Plus my title would no longer include the word “secretary,” which would be nice.
Anoniminous
@eemom:
Exit polls, properly done, are accurate with 1%. What we are seeing is the low count rural counties reporting. The majority of votes are in Northern Virginia which are only now starting to report.
ETA: Richmond is going 70% for McAufille with 17% reporting. With 35% reporting state wide, and Cuccinelli’s districts mostly in we should see this flip in the next hour.
Fort Geek
@Ripley: Open to speculation! (It would be irresponsible not to, etc. etc.)
Elizabelle
@Anoniminous:
50% for McAuliffe in Prince Edward. That’s lovely.
Why can’t NBC say there are not enough results in, not that it’s too close to call? That’s odd.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I think the smart thing for him would be to wait, but I saw him at a campaign rally the other day telling supporters that “this story doesn’t end in New Jersey”. Political ego is a funny thing. Ted Cruz, Rick Santorum, Joe Lieberman and (at certain moments) Newt Gingrich and Michelle Bachmann all sincerely believed they could get to the WHite House
David Koch
@PsiFighter37:
You mean waddle for president.
max
Oy. 31% of Democrats voted for Christie in New Jersey. 64% of ‘Independents’. That’s his margin of victory. Meantime:
The NJ 2013 electorate went for Christie the way the 2009 VA electorate went for McDonnell.
max
[‘You think Christie has been getting any expensive watches as ‘gifts’?’]
Violet
@PsiFighter37:
Because he’s going to run. He may not get very far, but he’ll run.
max
@PsiFighter37: Honestly, I have no idea why people think Christie is going to run for president.
Because he has very obviously positioning himself in New Hampshire and Ioway. He is doing things that you only do when you intend to run for Prez.
max
[‘Hey, Guilani thought he was a shoe-in.’]
scav
@dmsilev: !! but I’m still more or less hoping my uncles don’t make honest men of each other. Or, I keep going back and forth. They’re the only uncles worth keeping. It’s more the honest part than the hitched part that jars — Scamps with official benefits might be ideal.
GregB
Christ Christie will not run for President. He’ll walk briskly.
Anoniminous
@Elizabelle:
Because that would be Journalism?
Mnemosyne
@dmsilev:
That means I can finally sit down with my brother-in-law and say, You know, you’re not getting any younger — isn’t it time you found a nice boy and settled down?
Anya
@PsiFighter37: My mother-in-law on Christie: “he can’t control his food intake or temper, so how can we trust him with the government?”
Of course it’s not okay to be that prejudiced againt people based on their waist size but she’s a Northeast Rockefeller Republican and she cannot stand him.
chopper
@GregB:
only for 20 feet. he’ll have taken a helicopter the rest of the way.
Anya
@Elizabelle: They want to continue with the horse race crap till the last minute.
Elizabelle
TPM: The Washington Times has booted Rand Paul over plagiarism, appearing on their very own pages. His September 20 column for them included material lifted from Forbes.
Not sure if the Times is still owned by the Moonies. Their account:
Read more: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/nov/5/washington-times-ends-sen-rand-paul-column-amid-pl/#ixzz2jpC0G1CE
Follow us: @washtimes on Twitter
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Anya: If anything, his weight has been neutral, I think. It raises very legitimate questions about his health, and his red-faced, wheezy two minute hates on Obama (pre-Sandy) at Romney rallies were off-putting to all but the most hateful, but it also gives him regular guy creed. And Chuck Todd can’t wait to wag his fingers at Democrats the first time some campaign volunteer in East Bumblefuck makes a poster with a fat joke.
His temper, I can’t believe it hasn’t cost him more. MSNBC played his “something’s goin’ down tonight, Sweetheart…” clip today. I can’t believe that moment doesn’t’ get more attention. Besides being crude and bullying, it’s embarrassing, or should be.
GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)
@gene108:
Mom died on 1/1/2010 for the same reason. Lifelong smoker and drinker. Had to drop her insurance because she (predictably) got fired for being a drunk.
Had difficulty swallowing but never got checked. Incurable esophogeal cancer. Died.
Poopyman
@Anoniminous: I rather pictured it like Luke inside the tauntaun on the ice planet Hoth.
(Did a Google search because I couldn’t remember “tauntaun”. I see that somebody sells kids sleeping bags made to look like a tauntaun. Don’t know how I feel about that.)
Mnemosyne
@Poopyman:
The sleeping bag started as an April Fool’s joke by the Think Geek catalog, but they got such a huge response that they approached Lucasfilm and managed to get a license to produce it for reals.
So, really, you only have your fellow Star Wars fans to blame.