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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Twitterdämmerung

Twitterdämmerung

by Betty Cracker|  November 15, 20137:43 am| 35 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Assholes, General Stupidity, Jump! You Fuckers!

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Some dimwit in the marketing department at a rapacious megabank had a bright idea: Let’s think outside the box, disrupt the industry, establish new paradigms and build our brand by engaging the unwashed on social media:

invite - Copy

It didn’t go well:

babies - Copy

Ouch:

clownsuit - Copy

Oof:

largest - Copy

Yikes:

room - Copy

It goes on and on like that at #AskJPM. Finally, banksters raise the white flag:

cancelled - Copy

Ya think? Stupid fucks. Ha ha. The end.

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Previous Post: « Early Morning Open Thread: Roland Hedley, Meet Red Rascal
Next Post: Woke Up This Morning, The World Turned Upside Down »

Reader Interactions

35Comments

  1. 1.

    debbie

    November 15, 2013 at 7:52 am

    Well, at least American wit is alive and thriving.

  2. 2.

    c u n d gulag

    November 15, 2013 at 7:54 am

    And “Vice Chairman” sounds so much better, than ‘Chairman of Sexual Procurement,’ or ‘Chairman of Pimping.’

  3. 3.

    Randy P

    November 15, 2013 at 7:55 am

    Dammit, this is why we have a corporate press that is supposed to insulate us from contact with these peons, so we can pretend that the unwashed masses don’t actually exist.

    We need to see if our minions can make this Twitter thing look real but only show responses from fake IDs created by financial reporters.

    Mr. Lee, you must be working long hours saving the economy and completely doing things that are in the best interests of the small investor and the American people. How do you have the energy? @TotallyNotJimCramer

  4. 4.

    kc

    November 15, 2013 at 7:58 am

    This makes me happy.

  5. 5.

    ericblair

    November 15, 2013 at 8:03 am

    I guess when you have a corporate Q&A where you can’t fire people who ask inconvenient questions, things go a little differently.

  6. 6.

    Ash Can

    November 15, 2013 at 8:03 am

    This really made me laugh when I saw it yesterday. And here’s a tip: Doing a Google search for “JP Morgan Twitter Q&A” yields a wealth of hilarious headlines and articles. A great way to start the day!

  7. 7.

    eric

    November 15, 2013 at 8:05 am

    After all the laughing is over (ha ha, very funny, i know), it is quite uncivil to lash out in such an infantile way. Perhaps if these tweeters had not been such slackers in Finance 101, they too could be Captains of Industry. Such bitterness gives you wrinkles.

    David Broder.

  8. 8.

    NorthLeft12

    November 15, 2013 at 8:06 am

    I think even more hilarious [if that is possible] was the response of the CNBC talking heads, blaming the “rude” questions on the nature of Twitter and society in general while completely ignoring the source of that anger.

    As an afterthought, I fully expect to hear that Obama and the Dems [specifically Sen. Warren] will be blamed for these unwarranted attacks on your Galtian overlords.

  9. 9.

    eric

    November 15, 2013 at 8:06 am

    @ericblair: or, if you are the Mayor of Toronto, perhaps some corporate T&A.

  10. 10.

    Keith G

    November 15, 2013 at 8:11 am

    Yet another large American institution gets p0wned by the internets.

  11. 11.

    NotMax

    November 15, 2013 at 8:17 am

    Attn: JPMorgan

    There is life outside the bubble.

  12. 12.

    c u n d gulag

    November 15, 2013 at 8:26 am

    @eric:
    STAY!
    DEAD!!
    BRODER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. 13.

    OzarkHillbilly

    November 15, 2013 at 8:30 am

    Thanx Betty. Now I can start my day.

  14. 14.

    eric

    November 15, 2013 at 8:30 am

    @c u n d gulag: sad, how you bash one of the true greats of our time like that.

    Tim Russert

  15. 15.

    Emma

    November 15, 2013 at 8:33 am

    What a lovely way to start my day. Thank you, Twitter!

  16. 16.

    MattF

    November 15, 2013 at 8:37 am

    FYI, my sources in bank-land say that the smart ones have left JPMC. Expect more WTF moments in the weeks to come

  17. 17.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    November 15, 2013 at 8:38 am

    The virtual equivalent of having their testicles nailed to the public square. Guess letting it all hang out wasn’t such a great idea.

  18. 18.

    geg6

    November 15, 2013 at 8:53 am

    Thanks Betty! Damn, I needed that. What a horrible week, both politically and personally. Nothing has seemed to go right in either place. This makes it a bit better though.

  19. 19.

    maximiliano furtive, formerly known as dr. bloor

    November 15, 2013 at 8:55 am

    It would be funnier if there was a hope that it might trigger a nanosecond’s worth of self-reflection in their offices. It won’t. They think they’re goddamn heroes.

  20. 20.

    Citizen_X

    November 15, 2013 at 9:28 am

    @NorthLeft12:

    I think even more hilarious [if that is possible] was the response of the CNBC talking heads, blaming the “rude” questions on the nature of Twitter and society in general while completely ignoring the source of that anger.

    Aha ha ha ha haaaa! Here, assholes, have a Molotov cocktail.

  21. 21.

    Trinity

    November 15, 2013 at 9:28 am

    Awesome.

  22. 22.

    Comrade Dread

    November 15, 2013 at 9:37 am

    Needs more pitchforks.

  23. 23.

    Frankensteinbeck

    November 15, 2013 at 9:43 am

    @maximiliano furtive, formerly known as dr. bloor:
    Unfortunately, This – which is why they thought this was a good idea in the first place.

  24. 24.

    Hunter

    November 15, 2013 at 9:48 am

    OK — made my day.

    Maybe I should start tweeting after all.

  25. 25.

    Amir Khalid

    November 15, 2013 at 9:59 am

    Alas, this is not the twilight of Twitter, or a twilight brought about by Twitter. That this little oopsie might be any sort of twilight for JP Finch Morgan is too much to hope for. It’s just a laugh at their well-deserved expense — not much, true, but comic relief is better than no relief at all.

  26. 26.

    handsmile

    November 15, 2013 at 10:02 am

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    I wondered when that particular news item would make an appearance here, even if in the indirect form of your comment. Kudos on the metaphorical discretion.

  27. 27.

    handsmile

    November 15, 2013 at 10:07 am

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    FYWP won’t let me edit my comment for some reason. Wanted to revise my last sentence above (#26) to read simply: “Kudos on the metaphor.”

  28. 28.

    WaterGIrl

    November 15, 2013 at 10:09 am

    @handsmile: Okay, now inquiring minds want to know.

  29. 29.

    Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)

    November 15, 2013 at 10:12 am

    Clearly these young people know nothing of sacrifice.

    Tom Brokaw

  30. 30.

    handsmile

    November 15, 2013 at 10:41 am

    @WaterGIrl:

    Okay, per your request, but do have the brain bleach nearby:

    http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/nov/11/artist-nails-testicles-red-square-pyotr-pavlensky

    (How nice to see you nym! I’ve come across it but rarely in recent months and then always hours after you’ve submitted a comment. Hope most things are going reasonably well in your life!)

  31. 31.

    Petorado

    November 15, 2013 at 10:55 am

    The news media’s getting it all wrong and focusing on how the use of social media in the #AskJPM context is a PR disaster. The greater truth is that JP Morgan acting as a completely amoral entity hell-bent on destroying people’s lives and the world’s economy is what’s really the cause of their PR problem.

  32. 32.

    maya

    November 15, 2013 at 11:16 am

    You missed……

    Maria B
    @CNBC

    Jamie. Tough day sweetie? Come over to my house for soothing back (and front) rub.
    Luvya. Maria #ASKJPM

  33. 33.

    LanceThruster

    November 15, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    @kc:

    So very true.

  34. 34.

    WaterGIrl

    November 15, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    @handsmile: Thanks for the warning – just reading the title of the article was enough for me!

    Yeah, for nearly 6 months I have been mostly gone from BJ and everything else. Thanks for noticing!

    My huge silver maple tree fell on my house on may 31st, and 5 months of construction and insurance negotiations later, I am now getting settled into the house again. First I called it the lost summer, then it became the lost fall, and now I am going straight into christmas, holiday-wise, because by the time I get everything together I am certain thanksgiving will have come and gone. :-)

    Something seemed to click with me last night, because I breathed a huge sigh of relief and all of a sudden it felt like the long siege was over. I still have work to do getting settled in the house, and I am still working on the financial side of things, but I suddenly feel so much better.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. From Pine View Farm » Blog's archive » Twits on Twitter says:
    November 15, 2013 at 9:20 am

    […] Bankster twits. […]

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