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You are here: Home / Foreign Affairs / The Dark Canuck

The Dark Canuck

by @heymistermix.com|  November 19, 20137:56 am| 53 Comments

This post is in: Foreign Affairs

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Here’s Rob Ford, doing his best Chris Farley, knocking over a female councillor as he runs around the floor of the Toronto city council. Then he and his brother Doug got in a shouting match with spectators, after which he went on his new TV show, Ford Nation, and said this:

“I know in my heart everyone has personal problems,” Ford told listeners. “I urinated in a parking lot . . . what does that have to do with anything?”

Whatever else you might want to say about Rob, he is living each day to the fullest.

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Reader Interactions

53Comments

  1. 1.

    debbie

    November 19, 2013 at 8:01 am

    I love Charlie Pierce’s observation about Ford’s “impressive lateral speed.”

  2. 2.

    Ash Can

    November 19, 2013 at 8:02 am

    If whizzing in a parking lot is living a day to its fullest, I don’t want to know what your idea of a wasted day is.

  3. 3.

    JPL

    November 19, 2013 at 8:03 am

    Shouldn’t you be writing on how many people died because of Obamacare? The media sure likes the Ford story which means less time bitching about the President.

  4. 4.

    jonas

    November 19, 2013 at 8:10 am

    I was just thinking the other day that this would have been the absolute pinnacle of Chris Farley’s career were he still with us and on SNL, up there with Tina Fey’s Sarah Palin.

  5. 5.

    jayboat

    November 19, 2013 at 8:11 am

    Sad on many levels, but… cannot.turn.away.

    Que the trainwreck in 3… 2…

  6. 6.

    jonas

    November 19, 2013 at 8:19 am

    @jonas: Oh, with the exception of the guy who “lives in a van…down by the river!”

  7. 7.

    NotMax

    November 19, 2013 at 8:20 am

    Making the McKenzie Brothers look like the Dulles brothers.

  8. 8.

    aimai

    November 19, 2013 at 8:25 am

    So why haven’t they called for a new mayoral election? The article seems to imply that the council is waiting for the CAnadian government to do something like declare the Mayoralty vacant while the Mayor charges that they could call a new election right away. Do they not think they’d win? Do they think that Torontonians will vote for this guy again? Do they not have a good candidate to run against him?

  9. 9.

    Dead Ernest

    November 19, 2013 at 8:27 am

    @Ash Can:
    Simple pleasures Ash, simple pleasures.

    Guess I started with reactions to Mr. Ford that were like most other people’s.
    But as time goes by, gotta admit there is something about his Anti-authoritarian style I appreciate.
    I just hope he doesn’t taint the brand.

  10. 10.

    Baud

    November 19, 2013 at 8:28 am

    Speaking of second chances.

    After two bids for the Oval Office, a sex scandal and a fraud trial, John Edwards is back where he started from.

    The former senator will be practicing personal injury law in his home state of North Carolina, CNN affiliate WRAL reported Monday.

  11. 11.

    MattF

    November 19, 2013 at 8:30 am

    I predict that Ford will soon move south and renounce his Canadian citizenship.

  12. 12.

    Dead Ernest

    November 19, 2013 at 8:30 am

    @NotMax:

    Ah, NotMax, we can only dream.
    What a wonderful world this could have been if only the Dulles had been more like Bob & Doug.

  13. 13.

    Suffern ACE

    November 19, 2013 at 8:31 am

    @aimai: uncertain. But this episode does kind of undermine some assumptions about Canadian voters. A lot of Canadians might not be too bright and will vote for candidate Thatllshowem and Screwyousnobs if given the chance.

  14. 14.

    Jim Linzer

    November 19, 2013 at 8:35 am

    @jonas:

    If Chris Farley were still on SNL, this would be his 23rd year on the show, indicating a career in a very serious rut rather than one reaching its absolute pinnacle.

  15. 15.

    daveNYC

    November 19, 2013 at 8:36 am

    @aimai: The definition of Torontonian has been expanded a fair bit to include the ‘burbs, which is where his support is. So it’d be the usual urban vs. suburban tribalism thing. Ford’s ability to find additional uses for a parking lot might not make that big a difference.

  16. 16.

    Hawes

    November 19, 2013 at 8:45 am

    Mark Halperin writes that taking out an elderly council woman will be a game change and that this will solidify his standing among suburban wife beaters AND urban hipsters who like irony and farce.

  17. 17.

    JasonF

    November 19, 2013 at 8:46 am

    Mark my words — by the time all is said and done, Rob Ford is going to be living in a van down by the river.

  18. 18.

    Suffern ACE

    November 19, 2013 at 8:52 am

    @Hawes: Going to Detroit to photograph the decay will be replaced by going to Toronto to photograph the mayor as the hip thing to do.

  19. 19.

    Biscuits

    November 19, 2013 at 8:52 am

    Men, they get to pee anywhere. So unfair.

  20. 20.

    aimai

    November 19, 2013 at 8:54 am

    @daveNYC: Suburban people really love their parking lots, so there is that. But I definitely saw him shaking hands with supporters in the crowd during the melee. So I presume he does have a floor below which he won’t fall.

  21. 21.

    C.V. Danes

    November 19, 2013 at 9:07 am

    “I urinated in a parking lot . . . what does that have to do with anything?”

    Ummmm…perhaps because people oddly expect better behavior from their elected representatives?

  22. 22.

    magurakurin

    November 19, 2013 at 9:07 am

    @JasonF: except that really wasn’t Farely’s fate, was it? As funny as he and that skit was, he died a tragic, wasteful death at a young age from substance abuse. Ford is going to end up like Farely alright, stone cold dead before his time. The body can only take so much abuse and this dude is off the charts. Can you imagine how hammered and stoned he is late at night if this is how he is midday.

  23. 23.

    handsmile

    November 19, 2013 at 9:08 am

    @aimai:

    Evidently, the Toronto City Council must submit a request to the Ontario provincial government to amend the Municipal Elections Act. With the next mayoral election scheduled for October 2014, it is deemed unlikely that such legislative actions, on the part of both the municipal and provincial governing bodies, would take place.

    This, and so much more, on “snap elections” here:

    http://www.thestar.com/news/city_hall/2013/11/18/toronto_snap_election_demanded_by_doug_ford_would_require_action_by_ontario.html

  24. 24.

    fidelio

    November 19, 2013 at 9:15 am

    @aimai: Toronto has no mechanism for removing a mayor, short of an arrest, trial, and conviction for something more serious than a couple of moving violations. The city council has already voted to take as much power away from him as they possibly can, and now all they can do is wait for enough evidence to show up for something they can be sure of getting a conviction with serious jail time for, or the election in about eleven months.

    It’s possible the provincial government will dig up something, but right now the largest city is Canada is stuck with this idiot.

    He does have strong support in the suburbs, but I suspect a lot of that may be less robust than he might imagine, especially once a suburban voter finds themself alone in the polling booth with a ballot listing less-appalling alternatives.

  25. 25.

    aimai

    November 19, 2013 at 9:24 am

    “Who among us has not burned down a large public building? I know I have.” –Beyond the Fringe.

  26. 26.

    the Conster

    November 19, 2013 at 9:24 am

    OMG, between Pope Francis causing heads to explode and this fucking guy, it’s not a bad way to wean myself from baseball.

  27. 27.

    Felonius Monk

    November 19, 2013 at 10:07 am

    @MattF:

    . . . Ford will soon move south and renounce his Canadian citizenship.

    And then run for wing-nut senator in Texas.

  28. 28.

    SarahT

    November 19, 2013 at 10:12 am

    Apologies if already posted, but here it is:

    http://www.robfordsoundboard.com/

  29. 29.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    November 19, 2013 at 10:20 am

    He doesn’t seem to have a shame gene. A person with a healthy, functioning id would have hung himself in his basement by now.

  30. 30.

    jonas

    November 19, 2013 at 10:36 am

    @Jim Linzer: Yeah…touché.

  31. 31.

    MattF

    November 19, 2013 at 10:54 am

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader: But wait– he hasn’t yet shown up at a city council meeting in the Canadian equivalent of bathrobe + bunny slippers.

  32. 32.

    aimai

    November 19, 2013 at 10:54 am

    @Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader: I think you mean a person with a healthy, functioning, Super Ego. I think his Id is just doing great.

  33. 33.

    Petorado

    November 19, 2013 at 10:55 am

    @Felonius Monk: Nah. Christie/ Ford 2016. “Vote Big Time.”

  34. 34.

    danielx

    November 19, 2013 at 10:57 am

    Ford is sort of out of place as mayor of Toronto. If he was mayor of New Orleans, say, he’d be considered gubernatorial material.

  35. 35.

    srv

    November 19, 2013 at 11:23 am

    Clearly, Ford needed a bathroom break and that woman tried to body block him.

    I had no idea Canadians were so vicious.

  36. 36.

    Bex

    November 19, 2013 at 11:33 am

    @magurakurin: Amen. This is what addiction can do and it’s not funny.

  37. 37.

    Redshirt

    November 19, 2013 at 11:34 am

    Who hasn’t burned down a few abandoned warehouses during a meth fueled rage? What of it?

  38. 38.

    Yatsuno

    November 19, 2013 at 11:36 am

    @srv:

    I had no idea Canadians were so vicious

    “We went to a fight in Toronto, and a hockey game broke out.”

    RedKitteh is rather happy she’s safely ensconced in Nova Scotia.

  39. 39.

    Ash Can

    November 19, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    @Dead Ernest:

    I just hope he doesn’t taint the brand.

    Ford’s brand of anti-authoritarianism was tainted long ago by street-gang taggers, kids who smart off to their parents, and people who stick wads of chewed gum to the undersides of library tables.

  40. 40.

    chopper

    November 19, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    we all have issues
    i peed in a parking lot
    what does that matter?

  41. 41.

    PurpleGirl

    November 19, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    Canada does have wing-nuts and they are much like us. They also want lower taxes and, I believe, that was one of Ford’s promises to the suburban residents. I have an acquaintance in Western Canada (BC) who thinks American-style medical care would be nice to change to. (Don’t ask, I can’t explain it. She is also a glibertarian.)

  42. 42.

    Sad_Dem

    November 19, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    This is just to say
    I peed in your parking lot.
    Forgive me–
    I was really hammered
    and I really had to pee.

  43. 43.

    Splitting Image

    November 19, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    The main thing that was proven by Ford’s election as mayor is that the dotted line between the US and Canada isn’t as heavy as people sometimes think. Have a look at Ontario on a map, and you’ll notice that the states it borders include Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, all of which elected governors on a platform very similar to Ford’s in 2010.

    Basically the same political trends that put Rick Snyder in charge of Detroit put Rob Ford in charge of Toronto. People who have been calling him the Canadian equivalent of a teabagger are quite correct. John Tory (who would be an Eisenhower Republican if he were an American) ran for mayor in the previous election and was defeated by a more liberal candidate, but a good chunk of the voting public in the suburbs has become much more aggrieved since then.

  44. 44.

    DJ

    November 19, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    @aimai: Can’t hold an election till RF steps down. RF won’t step down.

  45. 45.

    DJ

    November 19, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    @Suffern ACE: That’s how we keep getting federal Conservatives in power.

  46. 46.

    LanceThruster

    November 19, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    “I urinated in a parking lot . . . what does that have to do with anything?”

    Try telling that to the parking lot’s family.

  47. 47.

    RaflW

    November 19, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    I for one hope this presages a Chris Christie presidency.

  48. 48.

    The Other Chuck

    November 19, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    @DJ: I read that the first time as “feral Conservatives”.

  49. 49.

    Captain C

    November 19, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    Wait a minute…the mayor and his brother are named Rob and Doug? As in, Bob and Doug? It all makes sense; the McKenzie Brothers have taken under Toronto under an alias!

  50. 50.

    Captain C

    November 19, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    @Captain C: Evidently, though, they’ve switched from beer to blow.

  51. 51.

    Ben Cisco

    November 19, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    The sad thing is that if Ford were a legal US citizen, he’d be out front for the GOP ’16 nomination by LIGHTYEARS.

  52. 52.

    Older

    November 19, 2013 at 3:46 pm

    @daveNYC: I was under the impression that this was one of the usual uses of a parking lot.

  53. 53.

    Dolly Llama

    November 19, 2013 at 4:10 pm

    @Sad_Dem:
    so much depends
    upon

    a red crack
    pipe

    glazed with my
    saliva

    beside the white
    crack rock

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