Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Trump makes a mockery of the legal system and cowardly judges just sit back and let him.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about it’s history.”

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

“They not like us!” (that’s for sure!)

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Come on, man.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

Be a traveling stable for those who can’t find room at the inn.

Please don’t feed the bears.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Found liable for massive fraud, is required to post a massive bond, gets a break, then files a *fraudulent* bond!

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

with the Kraken taking a plea, the Cheese stands alone.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

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Pork and sauerkraut in the crock pot, some good old green bean casserole including the crunchy onion stuff, and mashed potatoes. Why? Because it is cold as hell out, that’s why.

Watching the Pens and then who knows what. You all?

Oh, and btw- is Honda trying to actively turn off potential buys with the Michael Bolton ad? Or maybe it appeals to minivan drivers. I’d shoot the ad agency that came up with this, myself.

Reader Interactions

141Comments

  1. 1.

    Comrade Jake

    I was just shocked to see Bolton at all. I thought he’d long since disappeared, along with all of his hair.

  5. 5.

    Elizabelle

    Not a Michael Bolton fan, but he’s over the top in those Honda commercials, and in on the joke.

  7. 7.

    FlyingToaster

    As the article says, “desperation”.

    If Honda wants to sell cars, they could stop wasting money on ad campaigns and pay their own workers enough to buy one of their damn vehicles.

    Of course, while I have enough money to buy a car, I am too old to be much influenced by advertising. Michael Bolton notwithstanding.

    Note: I’m a Sienna driver; it came with all remote-power-doors and heated front seats, and they didn’t put the upright between the front and middle door right in my blind spot. Sorry Odyssey.

  8. 8.

    JMG

    Just finished tortellini with pesto here. Turkey and fixings all ready. Tomorrow should be a snap. Friday, when we’re hosting a party for 20 as former neighbors are in town for the weekend, will be more challenging. We have had the good sense to order trays of lasagna and antipasto from the local Italian restaurant.

  9. 9.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Ash Can:

    I am so unhip and out of it. I know who hardly any of those people/bands are. Never even heard of most of them.

    / old

  12. 12.

    Comrade Jake

    I just think the Odysseys are fugly. Thankfully the wife agrees.

    She just could not pull the trigger on a minivan.

  14. 14.

    Violet

    I did pork and apples in the crock pot last night because it was cold. Made some mashed potatoes to go with it. Yum!

  16. 16.

    tominwv

    pork and sauerkraut with turkey. My family has done this for decades, 8 at least by my count. Where did this come from? It’s an unlikely combination. It’s ethnic and perhaps regional. Does anyone know whence it came? What’s its distribution? I’m from the mid-Atlantic, my father was Irish and German, when my mother’s family escaped it was something that doesn’t exist any more, the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Best guess is in today’s Czech Republic

  17. 17.

    FlyingToaster

    @Comrade Jake: Before 2007, I drove a 1970 VW Microbus. So I admit that I have no problem whatsoever with minivans, so long as they’re drivable. And the remote-sliding-door thing is a real winner when loading kids in torrential downpours (like today).

  19. 19.

    beltane

    My husband was alarmed to see Michael Bolton in the Honda ad. Maybe Honda is trying to cause men in their mid-forties to freak-out and…buy cars?

  20. 20.

    Elizabelle

    @tominwv:

    I know some Baltimorons who do the sauerkraut and turkey routine. It’s quite good. Regrettably, not seeing them tomorrow.

  21. 21.

    Comrade Mary

    John, these Bolton web ads? He’s no Old Spice guy, but I smiled.

    Or this? Hey, I never liked Bolton, and I HATE most Xmas music, but I’ll take this knowing schtick over the usual maudlin stuff dumped on us at this time of year.

    Also, too, as linked above, his Lonely Island bit was priceless.

  22. 22.

    Yatsuno

    Spaghetti and meatballs for dinner tonight. Tomorrow three different ways of turkey including deep frying. At least they’re smart enough to do this in the middle of the yard.

  23. 23.

    Litlebritdiftrnt

    I shopped yesterday for a four day self inflicted camping out at the house, cause there is no way on earth that I am going to go shopping for anything the next four days. I would rather roll around in nettles naked than go out on black Friday.

  25. 25.

    Comrade Mary

    Also also also the dude looks fucking AWESOME for his age. I found that whole set of 80s artists rather sad, as many of the most talented did not keep their looks anywhere near as well, except for Annie fucking Lennox and a few others. Must have been one of those trade your soul / keep the bone structure deals for Bolton.

  26. 26.

    TheMightyTrowel

    @Ash Can: I think my age is showing: I just had my mind legit blown by the information that Aimee Mann (who i know as a late 90s slightly angsty lady with a guitar) was the vocalist of that ridic 80s classic Voices Carry. Oops.

  30. 30.

    John Cole

    @tominwv: We have sauerkraut with every Thanksgiving- it’s a German thing, and WV has a lot of Germans and Scots-Irish.

    We used to grow over 100 cabbages every summer and can just a shitload of homemade sauerkraut.

  31. 31.

    Sayne

    Can’t beat the slow cooker Pork and Sauerkraut… I’ll be making some of that over the weekend for writing my term paper for Grad School.

    What do you put in yours? I usually use pork ribs or chops with the bone on, a quartered onion, half of an apple, a potato, some caraway seeds… and then I pour a beer over it and let it cook all day. 2 lbs of pork and 4 lbs of Kraut…. mmmm…

    German deliciousness. I actually love the smell too… I suppose that’s something I learned…

  33. 33.

    JPL

    This is why you never buy fancy olive oil.. I spent the day cooking since we are bringing a prepared meal to my sil and husband (my brother,duh) who is ill tomorrow. All the sons and I will have to do is reheat everything and enjoy.
    Anyway long story short, for the gravy I used stock and wine. Now that everything is ready, I just poured myself a glass of the wine, but whoops, it was olive oil. I picked up the wrong bottle. yuck..

  34. 34.

    Yatsuno

    @Gin & Tonic: I think they will be using a similar rig, though I’m not certain. My job is to sit back and watch the fireworks. And hope the results are better than the last time I tried it. I was quite disappoint with the results.

    At least if this goes sideways there will be a traditional one in the oven.

  36. 36.

    Cassidy

    Robert Smith hasn’t aged well.

    My station and another are getting together tomorrow and families are invited. There should be lots of food. Hopefully no one does anything dumb so I don’t have to interrupt my food time.

  38. 38.

    max

    I’m stuck making traditional thanksgiving because certain people around here who are not me say they must have it. (If it was entirely up to me, I’d never purchase any turkey product ever again.) Thus doing anything complicated is RIGHT OUT, since it’s fscking turkey. Casserole-roasted here, which is good enough.

    Last night was minestra povera di patate (because potato soup) and tonight too (because making crap for tomorrow).

    I also snagged the Xmas tree today, and no one was out there, oddly enough, and so there were plenty of trees.

    max
    [‘I don’t know what it could have been. It was almost 35 or so, with some minor bits of blowing snow. No biggie. TROPICAL GODDAMN PARADISE, even.’]

  40. 40.

    ruemara

    Finished the parsnips and spinach stuffed puff loaf, plus a double batch of flying elvii cookies with chocolate chunks. Debating either wrapping up the rarebit biscuits or the white chocolate cranberry cookies tonight, but I’ll probably just go home and chillax with 110 grams of tilapia and green salad. Had almost no appetite today. And I still don’t feel like heading out tomorrow, but I am all about the parade.

  47. 47.

    Anoniminous

    Speaking of blasts from the past, Alan “Bubbles” Greenspan burst upon the world to tell us, “…the near record U.S. stock market isn’t in a bubble, even as the Dow Jones Industrial Average breached 16,000 and the Standard & Poor’s 500 surpassed 1,800.” Given his record of prediction, sell everything.

    NOW!

  49. 49.

    Smiling Mortician

    @tominwv: In Poland, there’s a traditional winter-holiday dish called bigos. Sauerkraut with kielbasa, bacon, lamb, beef, chicken, whatever . . . along with onions and mushrooms and wine. It translates to “hunter’s stew.” I make it every Thanksgiving, along with the turkey and stuffing and cranberries, etc. I can smell it right now, as it simmers downstairs in the kitchen.

  51. 51.

    mclaren

    Bugger turkey, tomorrow it’s stir-fry & teriyaki rice with egg rolls. Turkey is lethally bland to the point of inedibility.

    Check out the new show The Blacklist. It’s steadily gotten better and better, and Monday’s episode was a blockbuster.

    Also, Karl Urban is knocking it out of the park every week in the brand new Fox show Almost Human.

  55. 55.

    Anoniminous

    @beltane:

    You mean you missed out on orange jello with thin cut carrots and those little bitty marshmallows embedded within, topped with genuine American artificial whipped cream-like substance? The taste is literally indescribable but it is unforgettable.

    (I know. I’ve been trying for 55 years.)

  56. 56.

    FlipYrWhig

    It’s my birthday today. Taking it sloooow. Low key Thanksgiving on the horizon as well. Booyah.

  60. 60.

    Yatsuno

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    I’m part German, but can’t stand sauerkraut. On the other hand, I like kimchi

    Pretty much the same thing: fermented cabbage. The processes aren’t too much different really, just the spices used and such. So really you just like the Korean version of it.

  61. 61.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Yatsuno: Kinda my point Yatsy. It probably is the garlic and pepper in kimchi that I like. Love me some garlic and spicy food.

  62. 62.

    TheMightyTrowel

    @Yatsuno: True fact: fermented foods are my weakness. I have never met a fermented food product I disliked – even the weird smelly ones.

    ETA: I retain retraction rights if anyone offers me fermented mare’s milk. No way. No how.

  64. 64.

    Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader

    Prolly not gonna be able to make it for Tgiving John so don’t set me a plate.

  66. 66.

    mclaren

    It’s truly hard to describe how glorious it is that Cole’s website now features ads for MY LITTLE PONY. So much better than those all far-right ads when the adsense algorithm seems to have thought Cole was still a wingnut.

  68. 68.

    TooManyJens

    On the way down to St. Louis for Thanksgiving with relatives, and we just had dinner in the coldest fucking restaurant in Springfield. It’s warmer in the car.

    I’m an awful traveler. I really just want to be home in front of the fire.

  70. 70.

    dmsilev

    Today was dessert prep day; I made a cake (a Sachertorte), and my mom baked an apple pie. Also, ran through the pre-flight checklist on the turkey (cleaned it, made broth which will become gravy tomorrow, a few other odds and ends). We’re not eating until 5 tomorrow, so plenty of time tomorrow morning to prep the veggies for roasting, make the fancy salad that my mom decided on, grate the sweet potatoes that will become latkes, baby-proof the house, etc. OK, maybe not plenty of time.

  71. 71.

    gbear

    @Yatsuno: I used to live above a Korean restaurant and every time I’d eat there the owner would bring me out something special as a treat. One time she brought me some of her kimchi. I barely touched it to my tounge and I couldn’t taste anything for two days. It was the hottest thing I’ve ever tried to eat. I used to have to order very carefully from her menu.

    Tonight for dinner: Trader Joe’s meat lasagna.

  74. 74.

    MikeJ

    @Elizabelle:

    Not a Michael Bolton fan, but he’s over the top in those Honda commercials, and in on the joke.

    The radio station I worked at played him and his band and roadies in softball. I didn’t play because a) I’m not the softball type and 2) I only did overnights so nobody gave a shit about seeing me make a fool of myself. I drank the beer the station brought and did the play by play.

    I seem to recall that we won, which was rare.

  77. 77.

    eemom

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Happy birthday!

    My young ‘uns both have birthdays coming up as well — son’s is Friday and daughter’s is Tuesday. They were born 3 years and 361 days apart. And also too, eedad and I have birthdays within 3 days of each other in August. So something’s cosmic, or something.

  79. 79.

    Davis X. Machina

    Turkey’s in brine — basically the same one you use for pastrami — and will be smoked on the Weber tomorrow. Tonight I’ll make the base for the gravy from the neck, and aromatics and white wine, as per Julia and Simca in The Art of French Cooking . Also the pies (apple, apple-cranberry, pecan).

    The rest is trivial, and the smoker frees up the oven for the stuffing.

    Not sure how the latkes are going to fit into all of this, but if they’re absent there will be Complaints to the Management.

  81. 81.

    MikeJ

    @p.a.: You know xmas is approaching because the local HMart has boxes of oranges and kimchi crocks at the front of the store in huge displays.

  82. 82.

    geg6

    @Comrade Jake:

    Seriously. If I do say so myself, I make an absolutely lip smacking turkey. So good that my nieces don’t want anyone else’s. I brine it in kosher salt, tricolor peppercorns, brown sugar, rosemary, apple cider, garlic and orange peel. Then I roast it with orange butter (with more minced rosemary) and oranges and lemons in the cavity. It’s moist and delicious and super flavorful. People rave about it.

  83. 83.

    Comrade Mary

    For those of you not brining, may I once again suggest — nay, IMPLORE — that you forget about basting in an attempt to keep the breast meat moist. Just put some of the stuffing in the little pocket you can open up between breast skin and breast meat. An inch thickness should be enough to shield and add flavour to the meat.

    If you don’t want to mess with stuffing, try some apple-smoked bacon and maybe some thin-sliced apples and onions. Or gobs of butter with sage. Something thick, fatty and tasty works wonders on even the blandest turkey.

    (I brined one year and while it was nice, I went back to shielding the next year. Much less fuss, much more taste.)

  87. 87.

    dmsilev

    @Davis X. Machina: Our Latke Plan is to pre-fry them and then reheat in the oven just before serving (as a side dish along with the turkey etc.). Frying just before serving was contemplated and immediately discarded as impractical. We’re doing sweet-potato based latkes because, well, why not.

  88. 88.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @eemom: My mother and father were one day apart (different years) — my dad, August 26, 1914 and my mom, August 25, 1917. Can’t believe i’ll be observing my father’s centenary next summer.

  89. 89.

    geg6

    @Comrade Jake:

    It really is. It’s never dry and the citrus and rosemary just inject soooooo much flavor. My mom made traditional turkey and it was okay. My sister, who used to host Thanksgiving, did it the same way, but it was always dry and saw dusty. I started hosting about 3 or 4 years ago and used an Ina Garten recipe for the turkey and it went over like gangbusters. Now, I’m expected to host and I’ve tweaked the brine a bit and I am now the turkey queen.

  90. 90.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @TheMightyTrowel: A good friend of mine is Canadian Ambassador to Mongolia. Can’t remember how much longer his posting is, but if he’s still there when you head that way let me know and I’ll do a virtual introduction. He’s a good guy, and his wife has immersed herself in Mongolian culture.

  97. 97.

    geg6

    Anyway, the turkey is in the brine, the yam and pecan casserole ( more like a mousse) is built and just needs baked, the wild rice and broccoli casserole is built and needs baked, the beans are trimmed and onions chopped for the green bean and tomato and bacon sauté, the mashed potatoes are made and ready to put in the oven to heat and brown, the mirepoix is chopped for the dressing and the ciabatta, Italian and cornbread cubes are dry and ready to go. The house is 3/4 clean. All I have to do tomorrow is roast the carrots, make the dressing, roast the turkey, make the giblet gravy and bake all the casseroles. Sisters are bringing hors d’oevres, breads, and pies/pumpkin cheesecake. Got five bottles of wine and a magnum of prosecco for dessert. And there will only be one person under 21, so I hope that’s enough booze.

  98. 98.

    SiubhanDuinne

    A bit O/T, but it is a food-related open thread:

    Anyone here have Icelandic ancestry, or at least knowledge? I am trying to find a description, and ideally a recipe, for a traditional Icelandic meat dish served ceremonially on New Year’s Eve (or maybe NY Day) called kaiva or something like that.

    I don’t remember much about it, except it was a sacred tradition in the home of my Icelandic uncle-by-marriage some 60 years ago. I think it was ground meat, many different kinds of meat, with a great many spices (exotic meatloaf). I probably have the name a bit wrong, which in turn would explain why Google hasn’t come through for me yet.

    Any assistance gratefully received.

  101. 101.

    geg6

    @beltane:

    Ugh, I HATE jello recipes. The sister who is bringing the pies is also bringing a strawberry pretzel jello salad that the youngest niece insists upon. I think it’s heinous, myself.

  102. 102.

    BubbaDave

    @Ash Can:
    Hmm, I saw Aimee Mann in concert a few weeks ago and she was looking a lot better than that picture. (Note that I may not be an unbiased opinion, having had a crush on that voice for almost 30 years.)

  103. 103.

    Linnaeus

    You all?

    Making tetrazzini with left over chicken divan and will probably do some dissertation work this evening. I’ve fallen really far behind, so every little bit helps.

  105. 105.

    BubbaDave

    @TheMightyTrowel:
    She also sang backing vocals on Rush’s “Time Stand Still.” Not a fan of the band’s economic/political/religious leanings, but I like some of their songs, and that one a lot. It had been my favorite Rush song for a few years before I learned my favorite singer/songwriter had sung backup on it. Odd coincidences….

  106. 106.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    @mclaren:

    If turkey isn’t bland, why does it need gravy + stuffing + cranberry sauce?

    Other than because all of those things are delicious together?

    This is like claiming that chocolate cake is by definition bad because if it was that great, it wouldn’t need frosting.

  107. 107.

    Hungry Joe

    We’re getting ready to leave for our annual Thanksgiving in the desert: Borrego Springs, cabins, hike to Palm Canyon, friends, spectacular food, and VERY good beer. It’s exactly, but exactly what the Pilgrims had in mind.

  108. 108.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @geg6:

    strawberry pretzel jello salad

    I know what all those words mean on their own, but strung together like that? No idea.

  109. 109.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @efgoldman: Our parents were near-contemporaries. But I think I am several years older than you, so either my folks were precocious or yours were properly reticent.

  111. 111.

    raven

    @tybee: It’s supposed to be 60 and the wind is coming down. I have a patch and I’ve been out when it was way worse so I think it’s go.

  113. 113.

    p.a.

    Another seasonal food: Anyone like roast chestnuts? I find them somewhat more flavorful than Styrofoam.

  119. 119.

    FlyingToaster

    @SiubhanDuinne: kæfa is just pate. It usually seems to be made out of whatever meat scraps you’ve got (I just saw a couple of lamb ones via Google).

    My viking ancestry is about a thousand years out of date, so I don’t know more than how to find the spelling. And how to load up Sigur Ros on the iPad.

  120. 120.

    cleek

    crock pot? 3 hours on the stove is all it takes:

    1lb pork chops, chopped up
    two cans sauerkraut
    1tbs pickling salt
    1/2 of a beer
    1 cup water

    brown the pork chunks. add the kraut, pickling spice, beer, water. simmer for three hours.

    done!

    i also made the brine for the turkey, a loaf of bread for stuffing and an apple pie. and ribs. and roasted squash.

  121. 121.

    NotMax

    @beltane

    Substituting chilled champagne for the cold water when making Jell-O ain’t bad at all.

    Actually kind of refreshing with watermelon chunks in it.

    /plebian tastebuds

  122. 122.

    NotMax

    @Comrade Mary

    Another method is to cook the turkey upside-down (tenting optional) in a V-shaped rack for about the first 45 minutes to an hour. Gravity distributes the fats nicely throughout the breast meat. Turn over and continue as per normal (without the rack) for the rest of the time, thus re-distributing moisture a second time.

  123. 123.

    dww44

    @efgoldman: Now, here’s a jello based Thanksgiving salad that everyone, old and young, in our family loves. And we don’t eat those sorts of salads at any other time of the year. Recipe dates back to a Betty Crocker cookbook circa 1968 or 69.

    1 3 oz box lemon jello, well dissolved in 1 cup boiling water
    1 8 3/4 oz canned crushed pineapple (now those cans are 8 oz)
    1 10 oz container of Ocean Spray Cran-Orange relish
    1/2 cup chopped celery
    1 small to medium sized chopped apple with red peel left on

    Over the years I tinkered a bit: added 1/2 cup chopped pecans, added another small box of jello, maybe lemon, maybe strawberry, mostly because Ocean Spray stopped making Cran-Orange relish and I had to make my own (which I do several days ahead in a food processor with 1 bag of cranberries, 1 cup sugar, 1 naval orange with peel left on and a dash of orange liqueur and let marinate in refrigerator). Makes a pretty Thanksgiving (or Christmas) salad refreshingly full of fruit and not too sweet. The celery is crucial to that salad, btw.

  124. 124.

    tominwv

    @John Cole: This was a dish common to both sides of the family. Maybe the AHEs were close to the Germans but listening to the old people when I was young it didn’t sound like German.

  125. 125.

    Comrade Mary

    @NotMax: I’ve tried that with chickens and it works, but I am not very eager to wrestle with a hot, awkward turkey partway through cooking. Really, I am all about producing tasty poultry with a minimum of effort.

    If you’re making stuffing anyway, put it in the best part of the bird rather than the cavity (which should just have butter, herbs and maybe an onion or lemon, really, for taste, cooking time and safety). Take about 2 more minutes when you’re prepping the raw turkey to put an inch of stuffing between breast skin and breast meat, then get chunks of stuffing sticking to the skin (or pieces of skin sticking to chunks of dressing) when you serve the moist and tasty turkey later.

    For some reason, so many Americans are all into turkey as a competitive sport — Deep fry it! Brine it! Flip it! Baste it! Pet it and hold it and call it George!

    If you enjoy any of these projects, all power to you. Enjoy what I am sure is a lovely turkey.

    But.Heroic.Efforts.Are.Not.Necessary.For.Delicious.Turkey.

  128. 128.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Violet:
    @FlyingToaster:

    Thanks, both! Yes, I think what I’m remembering must have been similar to Lambakæfa – Lamb Pâté. I believe it was like a meat loaf, cold, sliced. I mainly remember that there were a lot of spices, and that recipe certainly indicates cinnamon, allspice, etc.

  129. 129.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Okay, once my #131 gets out of moderation, I sure would love to know what put it in time-out in the first place. No references to farmasootikles or ca$inose or s0cial1$m, only two links … What’d I do?

    ETA: In the time it took to write this, #131 became #135. my question stands. Why was it moderated at all?

  133. 133.

    Yatsuno

    @NotMax: My parents use that technique and swear by it. They also manage to get the stuffing up to temperature this way as well. So I like how this works. Plus skin. Brown, crispy, delicious skin…

  140. 140.

    J R in WV

    I’ma gonna ferment some slaw next year. I got the cold celler for it, all I gotta do is raise the cabbages and get some big canning jars. Salt down that slaw, put a rock on it, and come back in a couple of weeks.

    UMMM good.

  141. 141.

    cleek

    @tominwv:
    i got pork & kraut on T-giving from my grandmother, who was either Romanian, Russian or Romani (she never told me and other people have varying stories). but, definitely eastern European.

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