(Stone Soup via GoComics.com)
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For those of us who will not be able to share our Thankgiving with our loved ones, and for those of us who wish our loved ones were maybe just a little more loveable… could be worse:
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How does one socialize politely with one’s in-laws when they are involved in activities that I find immoral and are, at times, illegal?
I try to steer the conversation away from the illicit activities by asking questions about my husband’s childhood, inquiring after their health, asking to hear about the latest antics of their pets, etc. Invariably, the talk turns toward my father-in-law’s “business.” He was serving a jail term related to this work when I met my husband and has now shifted his business offshore.
Even if the work is not illegal in that country (and I have my doubts), it is still illegal in the United States. It is immoral in that he is taking advantage of a highly vulnerable group of people by endangering their health in order to make money.
He appears to believe in his work, saying that the federal government “misunderstands” him.
Should I take the viewpoint that this man is mentally ill, simply respond with a noncommittal “I see,” and continue to change the subject? Mention gently that since his work has caused my husband so much pain, I’d rather not discuss it?…
… Worry loudly about NSA datamining and the ever-expanding use of ‘information drones’?… (okay, just me)…
What’s on the agenda for another day of pre-holiday chaos?
Sir Laffs-a-lot
Happy Thanksgiving, Anne
cckids
My in-laws announced just Tuesday afternoon that they’ll be gracing us with their presence for turkey day.
I am way too tired to put up with my MIL’s passive-aggressive bullsh*t this week. This could get interesting.
Suffern ACE
Dead silence followed by declarations that “my bladder is the size of a hamster’s-gotta go” work for me. Sure, I get called hamster-bladder ACE, but I do get some peace.
Cliff in NH
I’ll drive a thousand miles…
and go home.
R-Jud
I am pretty glad that our daughter’s school schedule prevents us going back to the US for Thanksgiving this year. Instead of straining to be pleasant with FundieUncle and NewAgeAunt, I’ll be having a meal with a bunch of expats from my gym.
raven
Still cold and windy at the beach. That means I have to throw shrimp with an 11ft pole to get it out there!
Dee Loralei IPhone
My son and I are doing the roadtrip thing and heading off to Podunk Oklahoma to visit my Mom’s family. Leaving my Mom, Dad and another Aunt here to have the holiday alone. One of my cousins oldest son’s 8 man football team is playing Friday night for the Oklahoma State Championship game. So we’re gonna brave the elements and go watch at T.Boone Pickets Stadium in Stillwater. A place I have never been. Told my mom, it was a good thing I bought a Dr.Who timey-wimey hoodie, because I doubt the folks in Stillwater would let me in to town with one of my OU sweatshirts on.
Boyhowdy, am I looking forward to not walking the dogs for 5 days. Or hearing a cat bitch to me her displeasure about her canned food. So, sitting in the Oklahoma cold, in an enemies stadium seems a low price for my five days of relative freedom . OK, my aunt also makes a nasty egg gravy and a gross corn and oyster pudding I refuse to eat, because eating those would surely be too high a price.
And I know next to nothing about 8 man football , so I guess I’ll learn Friday night .
raven
@Dee Loralei IPhone: If this wiki entry isn’t helpful I don’t know what is!
JPL
The local news station is driving around looking for snow flurries. It’s November for pete’s sake and last year my roses were still blooming. When I brought the dog out, it was still raining lightly where I live.
JMG
@Dee Loralei IPhone: Eight man football is essentially track and field. Almost every play is a sweep. The runner either gets smeared or makes the corner and it’s a touchdown run. Or sometimes they throw the bomb for long touchdowns. Either way, look for a very high score compared to 11-man football.
Schlemizel
@raven:
Its also played on a narrower, shorter field than 11 man. The games tend to be high scoring as the smaller defense seems to cause more problems than a smaller offense.
Debbie(aussie)
Happy Thanksgiving to you all only a little over 2hours. Definitely not one we celebrate. Am beginning to freak out that Xmas is so soon.
Schlemizel
We are having an unexpected dinner at our place. Family is all scattered so we were thinking of just finding a place to eat. But the opportunity arose to gather a small collection of good people together and make a day of it as if they were all family – I like that. I have given up on the idea of a fake turkey of any kind. Not that last years was not OK, but it just was not the same. I will have plenty of side dishes I can eat & smell the turkey as it is passed around. That will have to do.
raven
@Schlemizel: Some are and some are not. There is a lot of variation state to state.
raven
@Debbie(aussie): My friend in Sydney wrote this piece that was published on the ABC site. When They Told.
OzarkHillbilly
We had light snow a couple days ago. Presently 14 degrees. Mid fifties by the wkend. Forecast for Thanksgiving day: God botherers with a chance of gun nuttery. Could be worse. My daughters MIL invited my wife to go X-mas shopping on Friday. I’d have said, “I’d rather have my fingernails pulled while hanging by my testicles.” but my wife is of sterner stuff than I, and said, “Why, that sounds like so much fun.” Good thing sarcasm doesn’t translate so well over the phone.
I will probably get an invite to go shooting, but I already know where my guns hit and I have the ready excuse of, “With the weather turning warm, I need to take advantage of it and pour the last of the grade beams.” Having even the slightest bit of industriousness can get you out of most anything.
raven
@OzarkHillbilly: The winds are heavy here too. I tried the beach but even the 6 oz weight wouldn’t hold the bottom so I scooted over to the bay to try there. Someone was blazing away in the woods. Makes me nervous.
raven
The Angry Gulf of Mexico.
NotMax
How standards have fallen. Those advice columns need better letter ghost writers.
Oddest Thanksgiving ever was in the mid-70s.
Had spent most of December bumming with a backpack through parts of Europe, and came down from Scotland to spend Xmas week in London at my step-brother’s (younger than I) flat, as he had gone back to the States for the holiday break from LSE.
Turned out the owners of the building were American and had decided to provide as close to an American Thanksgiving as they could at Christmas, using ingredients found at the markets in England. Unaware of both my penchant for solitude and my aversion to holidays, they insisted upon attendance.
So there I found myself: in dreary West Croydon, in an unheated building in December (with spotty electricity due to coal strike and power rationing), surrounded by people I didn’t know and had no interest in hobnobbing among, facing a table laden with what was as close to a traditional Thanksgiving meal as I was to ever being a professional flamenco dancer.
Which is to say, light years away.
To this day, still have no idea what some of the weird and unwonderful things were that crossed my palate, accompanied by a forced and insincere “Yum.”
IIRC correctly, cut short the stay in London and fled back to the welcoming spirits-infused arms of Aberdeen the first chance afterwards.
OzarkHillbilly
@raven: Whoa! That is what I call surf.
This was one of the windiest deer seasons I can remember, nearly every day. I haven’t seen any #s yet, but I suspect the harvest is down. I live near the Little Indian Creek Conservation area and look forward to deer season all year long. There is a gun range on the CA and sometimes it sounds like a war zone over there. But during deer season, things get a whole lot quieter. Only heard one shot all season.
Dee Loralei IPhone
@raven: thanks, that helps.
@JMG: ok, that also helps.
I am totally not looking forward to driving another 100+ miles to sit in the friggin cold, with a strong wind that started somewhere near the arctic circle and got stronger because there was nothing in the way to slow it down.
I keep telling my son OK cold is a different beast than TN cold.
Kay
I’m going to South Bend, Indiana to eat dinner with my mother-in-law at the dining hall in her retirement home, which sounds sad but isn’t: I like her. We’re taking our 11 year old (of course). My 20 year old son will come with us to see his grandmother but he has to go right back to Ohio to work on Friday.
After that we go on to Chicago to eat with my eldest son, his girlfriend, her dad and her stepmother. My son and his GF just bought an apartment and although I helped them look I’ve never seen the place they actually bought.
My daughter is spending Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh with her boyfriend’s family, but they were here last weekend. I’m taking her with me to Austin TX to go to the advocates for public education conference in March. I’ve never been to Texas so I’m looking forward to it.
BUT, before all that I have hearings this afternoon :)
Betty Cracker
Driving up to family compound on the Suwannee River, where it’s colder than it is here (Thanksgiving temps in the upper 50s there as opposed to high 60s at home). There will be a campfire and good bourbon to ward off the chill.
Elmo
First Thanksgiving ever that we won’t be making a big turkey with stuffing and mashed potatoes and rutabagas (family tradition). Wife is suffering from bad gallbladder and can’t eat. She’s lost 30 lbs in four months, surviving on liquid meals via Nutribullet.
We never go anywhere, just make a 20lb turkey for the two of us and eat leftovers for a week and soup for a week after that. My favorite holiday.
Sigh. Surgery next week and then maybe turkey for New Years.
greennotGreen
Well, I’m looking forward to Thanksgivuhkah. First of all, I’m alive to celebrate it, and last year that wasn’t a given. Secondly, we’re celebrating with my cousin’s husband’s extended family, and it should be a hoot. Turkey and brisket and vegan dishes – something for everyone.
greennotGreen
@Elmo: Sorry, Elmo. I hope the surgery does the trick and she makes a speedy recovery. You can still have turkey for Xmas.
bemused
I like Miss Manners suggestion to tell the in-laws not to discuss business in their presence in the event they may have to spill what they heard to law enforcement inquiries. That still may not stop the in-laws who seem to feel they are “special”, can do what they damn well feel like and are proud of it.
R-Jud
@Elmo: Good thoughts to your wife for a straightforward surgery and swift recovery. Hope you can have turkey over Christmas!
Fuzzy
I am the family patriarch so if the conversation gets out of hand I become the voice of God “because I said so” if you don’t like it go away. All topics are usually O.K….for a while.
Fuzzy
@Elmo: Sorry for the pain. My gall bladder acted up so I went to the ER and two hours later I was in recovery with no more problem. The gall bladder is not something to try and save when it goes awry.
Pogonip
I would tell the in-laws all about my interesting new job with the IRS.
imonlylurking
We’ll be having meatloaf. We’ve been eating a lot of chicken lately (we’ve got some killer recipes) and I am so sick of poultry. No more birds!
In other news-I’d like to extend an open invitation to anybody in the Twin Cities area that might need a place to go on Thanksgiving. Just RSVP, let me know about any dietary restrictions, and don’t be allergic to cats. (Or dust-we’re lousy at cleaning.) My email is my user name at yahoo.com-put something about Thanksgiving dinner in the subject line so I don’t delete it as spam.
satby
@imonlylurking: How generous of you!
@Elmo: best wishes for a speedy recovery to your wife, and turkey is just as delicious for Christmas.
My oldest son is making his first turkey and having the rest of us (a small crowd: his GF, one other son, me, and a dear friend who otherwise would be alone). He’s a very good cook, so it should be fine. His GF can’t boil water, so he does all the cooking anyway. It’s the first Thanksgiving in 5 years that we’ll be together, other years I went to the ex-BF’s house and let the kids have a wee less stress by doing a dinner an alternate day instead of trying to run to 3-4 houses for holiday dinners (kids of divorce, both my boys and their GFs). I’m pretty excited.
Southern Beale
My morning rant: not all computer upgrades are improvements.
elmo
@greennotGreen:
@R-Jud:
@satby:
Many thanks to all for the good wishes. But Christmas tradition is Honey Baked Ham, and my wife likes that even better than turkey! I can’t ask her to give that up!
FreeAtLast
Anyone have any inspiring ideas for Thanksgivukah? So far all I’ve come up with are sweet potato latkes and challa in the stuffing. As is obvious, I’m not a big plan-ahead person, so all simple ideas are welcome.
Cervantes
@Dee Loralei IPhone: Can cats bitch?
negative 1
@cckids: Go for it. We’ve traded the holidays with my mother-in-law since my wife and I first got a place together 15 years ago, with an open door policy that has extended to anyone – some years we’ve had displaced family of family friends, friends of ours, relatives, exes, you name it. My SIL finally does it this year, the first thing she does is tell my mother she can’t bring a guest. I threatened to no-show and got the situation reversed, but my guess is you will be able to scrape the frost off of this exchange. I’m going with the following tactic – lots of wine and watch it burn down.
Cervantes
@raven: That was beautiful. Thank you.
And my compliments to the writer.
Cassidy
Working on Thanksgiving and Christmas this year.
Cervantes
@Southern Beale: Can’t you just turn off “Correct spelling automatically” in System Preferences > Language & Text > Text ?
Citizen Scientist
I’m mostly being thankful today that we got good news on my wife’s health scare yesterday.
Other than that, actually have the day off to do some house projects (finally install that new smoke/CO detector so mom won’t freak out tomorrow, etc.); a run to the liquor store for last minute booze (mainly for me to make it through the holidays); and food prep for tomorrow’s event (wife and I have been handed the reins for Thanksgiving dinner for the last 6 years).
Also, too, drawing up my list of grievances for the annual Festivus celebration and prepping for the invasion of drinkers into the brewery that I work at on Black Friday.
I truly hope the BJ community and their extended clans have a safe and thankful holiday.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
I have no clue what we’re doing tomorrow since my brother hasn’t gotten back to me to let me know how he worked out the Thanksgivukkah dilemma with his ex-wife. (She’s Jewish, we’re not.) At this point, G and I may be dining out by ourselves, which is okay with us, since I don’t have any Thanksgiving food on hand and don’t feel like braving the crowds tonight to get some at the last minute.
Bill Arnold
@FreeAtLast:
I’m doing regular potato latkes in place of mashed potatoes. (One could make them out of mashed potatoes & onion powder, but I don’t like that style.)
boing-boing had an interesting-looking recipe for pumpkin pie filled sufganiot. Tempting…
A search for thanksgivukkah recipes turns up a lot. Sampler: Fried Turkey, Pumpkin Challah, Cranberry sauce with apples, pecan pie rugelach, and also lots of recipes that look wrong.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
Also, too, a random question. I’m making a winter hat for a 7-year-old boy I don’t know (he’s one of the members of our Adopt-A-Family at work). Pom-pom on top or no pom-pom?
I already know what the hat for the 20-year-old brother will be: plain and boring. So it would be nice to jazz up the little one’s hat if you guys think a 7-year-old isn’t too old for such frivolity.
negative 1
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): I wouldn’t do it. It doesn’t make as much difference for wanting it and not having it as it does if the kid doesn’t want it but it has it. I know that doesn’t make much sense, but I have a 6 year old and I see these things. For some reason not having a certain function isn’t a deal breaker, but including some undesirable element is.
FreeAtLast
@Bill Arnold: Thanks. The pumpkin pie filled sufganiyot sounds good. I’ll look into it.
imonlylurking
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): Do dinosaur ‘fins’ instead. I don’t know what they are called-the triangle things down the back. If you can figure out a way to add them to the hat-on the top and down the back-that would be cool.
Well, *I* think that would be cool.
J.Ty
I love Miss Manners’ response to that! Hope they have pets ;)
I’m in Denver visiting the family with the mister. Niece broke her arm on the balance beam last night though so the festivities are a little bit on hold…
Mnemosyne
@negative 1:
I looked at the Old Navy and Target websites and boys’ hats don’t have pom-poms this year, so I’m going to skip it. Those are usually my go-to places to check and see what Kids Today are wearing.
LAC
What’s in my agenda? Bring thankful that I am not going to be listening to someone yammering about the NSA. I am blessed with people with other things to talk about. Happy holidays.
StringOnAStick
@FreeAtLast: Here’s an easy recipe that’s more than the sum of the parts. In somewhat equal portions: fresh Brussels sprouts, quartered, butternut squash or sweet potatoes, cut into 1″ chunks, and fresh cranberries, whole. Mix together with 1/4 C melted coconut oil and a bit of salt and pepper, then roast at 375 or 400, stirring every 10 to 15 minutes until the squash/potato and sprouts are tender. The cranberries caramelize a bit and turn into sauce, and any roasted veggie is a good veggie! My Jewish husband says this would have been a holiday dish, but I’m suspicious – he’ll use any excuse to get me to cook what he likes (which is damned near anything edible).