Cranky curmudgeon Mark ‘Copyranter‘ Duffy (nobody’s favorite coworker) tells Gawker the “TOP 10 BEST EVER WTF OMG REASONS BUZZFEED FIRED ME, LOL!”:
I achieved the near-impossible Monday morning, October 7, at approximately 9:30 am. I got fired from BuzzFeed…
BuzzFeed editor-in-chief Ben Smith called me into his office via GChat and said something like, “This is just not working out, your stuff. Let’s just say, it’s ‘creative differences.'” (I paraphrase, but he most certainly used the c and d words.)…
I was “officially” fired at my apartment on Halloween, via a letter delivered by UPS. Inside the envelope were two copies of the legal document, one to sign and return and another for my records. Both copies had CUTE stickers affixed to the first page.
I did not LOL.
I know for a fact that there are more appropriate varieties of sticky notes in the BuzzFeed office supply cabinet that do not have “CUTE” printed on them, including white ones with a ghosted red BuzzFeed logo.
A 53-year-old man, BuzzFeed’s oldest ever employee, jobless and without health insurance? CUTE as a fucking bug’s ear. Not as CUTE: Making your advertising critic disappear posts that criticize the advertisements of big advertisers, which Ben Smith did to me on at least one occasion. BuzzFeed has a “no haters” hiring policy and an overweening desire to draw big-name advertisers into its “community” of users, in exchange for money. Which makes ranting about ads professionally for the site a complicated endeavor. At which I FAILed…
So… Whatever the tribulations of your life, at least you do not work for Ben Smith, former Politico cheerleader and, according to Yasha Levine, dedicated Kochsucker. Who probably congratulates himself on having measurably increased mindshare for the brand with Duffy’s latest rant, because if one could literally show one’s arse in the Media Village, Smith would get a trampstamp reading BROUGHT TO YOU BY ____________ . Previous generations might complain ‘I owe my soul to the company store’; our new Social Betters have solved that problem by not having souls to sell.
***********
Apart from tryptophan comas and yelling at clouds, what’s on the agenda for the evening?
Ash Can
Who knows? Maybe he already does. And speaking of which,
Hey, we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors…
Suffern ACE
@Ash Can: actually, we kind of do know what goes on behind their closed doors. It’s what makes their attempts at tut tutting us so revolting.
TheMightyTrowel
Onions and cornbread in the oven for Thanksgiving 2. The holiday over yet!
PsiFighter37
Spent my flex spend health account money on a pair of new glasses (brand is called Silhouette)…usually haven’t been a fan of frameless glasses in the past, but these are really lightweight and look pretty solid. Maybe it’s because I’m older now.
Otherwise, a short workday. I feel really weird though…I feel like my lungs are frozen, and my chest feels a bit funny. I did go for a run earlier despite it being a bit chilly in NYC this afternoon, but pretty sure it had something to do with it, since I was feeling fine before then. Not really a pleasant feeling.
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
@PsiFighter37:
If you felt fine before the run but had the tightness in your chest after exercising in the cold, you may have a mild case of exercise-induced asthma (which is itself a mild form of asthma that mostly shows up when a person exercises). Next time, wear a scarf over your nose/mouth to warm up the air before it gets to your lungs and take a little longer to warm up and cool down (walk for at least 15 minutes before you start your run).
Betty Cracker
I have nothing but contempt for Smith, but the Copyranter (by his own account) sounds like a less than ideal coworker. The drumming thing? I would have hid a squid in his air vent for that.
PsiFighter — Anything weird with the lungs is scary. See a doc if you don’t feel better pronto?
fka AWS
@Betty Cracker: Smith knew what he was getting when he hired him, though. It would be like hiring Rude Pundit.
shelly
Plans for tonight? Finishing up the Thanksgiving Beaujolais, getting under the flannels and seeing if any good movies on the tuber.
Just finished up the laundry. Damn, going up and down those cellar stairs three times is getting really old….on the knees.
Lolis
Working til 10 pm. The going to a Justin Timberlake Sing-A-Long.
Tim in SF
Since this is an open thread, I will post something about JC’s email problem he complained about a few days ago about getting too many donation-ask emails, but I came in a little late to provide a useful comment.
John: Since you’re in Gmail, John, there is a very simple solution. When you get an email you don’t want, don’t delete it, instead, click the stop-sign with the exclamation point on it: Report Spam. Many, many bulk emailers have an arrangement with spamcop and/or gmail so that if you report it as spam, you are automatically unsubscribed (without having to go through the unsubscribe process, which is neither standardized nor quick). If the sender is NOT registered with spamcop or Gmail, then Gmail will simply blacklist the sender and then anything else from that sender is automatically shit-canned.
Redshift
Best photo-bait ever! Truly inspired, from one of the Wal-Mart protests. Can you imagine any news photographer being able to resist that?
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
Very lazy day. Got up, ate, checked the Internet, napped. I need to figure out where I put my unsold merchandise that I made (but didn’t use) for last year’s craft show so I can use it for this year’s craft show.
jeffreyw
Exploring tunein radio metro app on new tablet. Found a diamond already: Beneath Ceaseless Skies podcasts all the way back to 2008, iirc.
Mike with a Mic
@PsiFighter37:
Smear vics under your nose and menthol out for a bit, then steam your head.
Also ignore the above using scarfs for running. While it works, they flap all over the place and turn into an obnoxious mess. Get your ass a noprene mask. These are used by bikers, soldiers, sailors, and other people who spend a lot of active time out in the cold doing things that would cause a scarf to fall the hell off your face. They come in full head, hair/top open, just mouth, mouth and neck, all sorts of combinations.
Just be aware that if you wear it people wear them to hide their faces from security cameras all the time. So just like a hoodie or ski mask take that shit off before you go into stores so people don’t think you’re going to rob them. I’ve had a couple odd reactions going into gas stations with one on. As a bonus they also come in wacky glow in the dark options. So if you want to have a glowing skull for your head or Pacman to increase night visibility they can do that.
scuffletuffle
Wonkette’s creepy pastor story is worth a read…the comments are priceless!
Keith G
I have noticed that it seems like every employee who sits at a keyboard for Slate, or The Atlantic, or the like, is an editor.
A few years ago, I was wondering through the back offices of a major hotel (my boyfriend was their IT guy) and I commented that below the name of each door in a particular hallway was the term “Sales Manager”. I asked how everyone on the sales staff could be a manager. He said it was so any incoming call could be given the importance to be directed to a sales manager.
MikeJ
Turkey legs are in the oven for a few more hours turning into confit. Yes, they would be better done in duck fat than olive oil (what wouldn’t?) but I’m betting they’re still pretty good.
Comrade Mary
@Betty Cracker: That’s it: I’m outsourcing all my revenge projects to you.
SiubhanDuinne
@Tim in SF: I have Gmail and I’ve never seen one of those stop signs in my life (I use iPad exclusively, so maybe that’s why).
Yatsuno
@MikeJ: That much duck fat would cost you a small fortune unless you rendered it yourself. Which you are crazy enough to do come to think of it…
Took care of stuff. Now napping so I can wake up disappointed with the Cougs.
Bill E Pilgrim
True story:
I do contract work, of a somewhat specialized kind, and seem to be able to keep myself employed as much as I want, knock on wood a thousand times. I do it from six to nine months of the year, leaving the rest free to do creative or lower-paid work. I’ve spent years at one large company on rolling contracts, but other times have done two or even three contracts/clients in a year. It’s all good for me.
So one of the agents submitted me this week for job order put out by a large company who shall go unnamed but who are the height of cool, and got the response that they weren’t interested, because I’m a “job hopper”.
My first reaction was just to laugh, then sigh, then I started to write back to my agent saying listen it’s fine, some people who think in terms of permanent salaried positions just don’t “get” the freelance contractor, consulting thing, so when I get this kind of respone I know it’s not a fit and just move on.
Except then I checked and saw that what they were offering was a three-month contract.
Seriously.
So a “shorter” of their gloriously Grouchoesque response would be “We would never accept anyone for this contract who would accept this kind of contract”.
The next day I got word that I’d landed the contract I really wanted anyway, from a company with a reputation as far more stodgy but who leapt at the chance to nab someone they saw as valuable who was available and could come in and solve some of their problems.
Robert
You have to click through and read the official editorial response. I think I laughed more at the spin than at the fake Buzzfeed list. They’re both total asses, but only Ben Smith is dumb enough to demonstrate it without humor.
The best is the explanation of the incredible Axe Body Spray article disappearing. “Duh…I waited a month before pulling it because I REALLY didn’t understand what rape culture meant (until Axe said they’d pull their ads from all of my sites if I didn’t erase the post). That’s just offensive (to Axe and their fine product line advertised by showing women will lose their minds and become drones to your stinky hive if you saturate yourself with nasty cologne).” 4 Star Trolling, would recommend to a friend.
And speaking of creative differences, I got fired from a gaming site a few months ago over a “Worst Games of the Console Generation” list. They said be scathing. I was. The editor actually liked Papa & Yo, while I wrote a scathing piece on how the developers were coopting the plight of the poor in Brazilian slums by othering a child with totally unexplained magical powers. They basically turned those stacked tenements into Hogwarts and let rich people play poor like Marie Antionette and her mock dairy farms. Apparently it was too real for the editor when other writers said “teh Wii is the sux, roflcopter.”
Alison
I’m such an Obamabot that I bought the shoes Sasha was wearing when they got the White House Christmas tree delivered today. I couldn’t help myself. I barely even leave the house but fuck it, silver shoes FTMFW.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/29/sasha-obama-shoes-photos_n_4360580.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003
Suzanne
Christmas lights are up, most of the dishes are done. Trying to decide what to do for dinner.
Have been thinking about taking a break from vegetarianism. I feel very conflicted on the issue.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Yatsuno:
Chances look good, UW 27-17. Woof!!!
Suzanne
@Alison: Sasha is adorable. Both she and her sister are growing up so beautifully. I am kinda into her panda bear sweater.
Violet
@Suzanne: What are the reasons you’re thinking about taking a break from vegetarianism?
Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn
@Tim in SF: Thanks for that, Tim! I hadn’t seen your original post on that, either.
Pogonip
I worked today. Quiet and peaceful; no one else comes in the day after Thanksgiving. It was a nice change. I swear people have got louder in the last 30 years. I have otherwise normal colleagues who are permanently set on Shout. (No, they are not hard of hearing; in fact, the one person who is hard of hearing speaks at normal conversational volume.)
Suzanne
@Violet: Honestly, I find myself looking at meat and drooling, or at least being really curious about it. I haven’t had bacon in probably almost twenty years, and I don’t remember it. Buffalo chicken wings just make me sad, because THOSE I do remember and miss. And the other day when I was shopping, I found myself staring at a large standing rib roast, curious in a way that I haven’t been for years and years. (I’ve been vegetarian off and on since I was about 15 and I am now 33.) I’m not vegetarian for ethical reasons—I wear leather and it doesn’t bother me. But something about meat simultaneously grosses me out and yet is delicious to me. Also, I find that I am eating too many carbs. It might be healthier to go back to lean meat.
I don’t know. Part of me likes discipline and some degree of ascetism, and I tend to be better when I have rules or schedules, even self-imposed ones. I am struggling with this.
MikeJ
@Yatsuno:
In one of his cookbooks, Thomas Keller suggests for one recipie that if you don’t have any bacon fat laying around you can use duck fat instead.
Alison
@Suzanne: I adore those two girls so much, and cannot wait to see what amazing women they grow into :) Also, they are both stylish like all get out. Mom’s genes! :)
Aji
Saw “Ben Smith” and didn’t really need to read any further, but I did. Being one’s own boss, in our field, is not especially lucrative (understatement of the year), but at least we don’t have to deal with asshats like Smith.
geg6
Laziest day of my life. But after two full days of prep and one full day of full on cooking and entertaining, I figured I’m entitled. About to eat delicious leftovers and watch a Modern Family marathon, with perhaps some Garth Brooks mixed in to please my John. Tomorrow, a haircut and seeing Catching Fire with my sister and youngest niece. I love Thanksgiving!
Violet
@Suzanne: I was vegetarian for awhile but found I do better eating meat. I wasn’t getting enough protein or the right kind or something. I think it’s hard to get Vitamin B12 unless you eat red meat. I love vegetables and can eat as many as I’m served, but if I don’t have a meal with protein and fat, I end up hungry.
I get the high-carb problem being a vegetarian. It didn’t work for me and in the end I think it triggered some of the health problems I have now–or at least didn’t help them. Sometimes when you’re a vegetarian it’s just easier to eat the bread and salad and that’s not really a very healthy meal unless the salad is awesome.
I’ve recently given up gluten and feel a ton better. My digestion has really improved. I’ve pretty much given up most grains as well because when I try them they don’t sit well. I want to try them in the traditionally prepared style–soaked with an acid–but haven’t done it yet. I think I’ll start with gluten-free oats.
Maybe you could try just having meat one or two days a week–so it’s a special treat and the restriction would give you the rules that seem to work better for you.
Steeplejack
@MikeJ:
I used to read high-end/exotic/celebrity-chef cookbooks and accepted that a lot of the recipes were going to be really gnarly, difficult things that you would do only once a year to knock the socks off your guests. But, even so, I was regularly surprised at throwaway lines like the one you mentioned that clearly indicated that the celebrity chefs live on a different foodie planet than mine.
ruemara
@Alison: kinda want those and the shiny blue boots
NotMax
As had to go into town anyway to get some driveway patch, stopped by Macy’s for the one item which caught my eye in their flyer. Very classy set of four wine glasses at ten bucks (down to only a single one intact from the old set at home).
Including parking the car, was in and out of the store and mall in about 15 minutes.
Bodacious Black Friday, all.
Suzanne
@Violet: I might go back to poultry and seafood only. I don’t know. Sigh. I love pasta and rice and quinoa, etc, and none of it gives me any digestive problems, so this is really just about preferences and what I feel comfortable with.
This is a dumb thought, but I am wary of giving it up in some respects because I feel like I’ve finally normalized it in some respect for my coworkers. I just get a lot of shit from people (even people I like) who think it is “weird” and that “animals eat animals”. I really cannot make the point strongly enough that this is entirely my own internal drama and that I don’t give a fuck about what other people eat. I am far too self-involved to be bothered by someone else having pepperoni on their pizza. But the noise has finally died down (I’ve worked there for almost three years, FFS) and I think that if I started eating meat again around them, my eating habits would once again be a topic of discussion.
Violet
@Suzanne: Well, you could have meat only at dinner when you’re not with co-workers. That might make it less of an issue. Or, if you’re eating dinner too often at work, then only on evenings when you’re home, or only on weekends or something like that. Just to give it a try.
I can understand where you’re coming from, but the most important thing is for you to take care of you. To hell with your co-workers or anyone else who has an opinion on what you eat. That’s their problem, not yours. Do what’s right for you and your body. Everyone is different and not one single diet works for everyone. We all have varying needs and preferences. And as time passes our body’s needs may change. Maybe your body is telling you it needs something from meat that you haven’t been giving it, since you find your self looking longingly at rib roasts and that kind of thing.
NotMax
@Suzanne
Guilt is not fattening. Neither is it nutritious. Ditch it.
Eat what you want, when you want, in moderation.
SiubhanDuinne
@Alison:
Wait, I thought it was their dad who wore the Mom genes in the family.
Violet
@NotMax: Everything in moderation, even moderation. We all need feasts from time to time.
MikeJ
@Steeplejack: His Bouchon and ad Hoc books aren’t as over the top as the French Laundry book. Still pretty fiddly, but I’ll actually cook something from them once a month or so. And of course after following his instructions to the letter a time or two, I’ve streamlined a few recipes to get 90% of the flavor for 75% of the effort. For instance, in his chicken pot pie he cooks the carrots, potatoes and onions in individual pots. You get much better colors, but no discernible improvement on taste over chucking them in a pot together. And of course the real time saver is the heretical ready made crust.
shelly
Mike with a Mic
@MikeJ:
Duck is rather cheap and you can render a lot of duck fat from a single duck. I personally save all the fat I get from cooking, turn bones and shells into broth, I use livers and guts as well. You can save tons of money if you make some use out of the parts most people discard. Just make a good initial investment in the sort of containers to keep it.
Also it’s good to stop being a vegetarian. Americans eat way too much meat which often gets extrapolated by zealots (such as PETA) to advocate meat bans or veganism. Meat is actually good for you and many of the fats and proteins in meat don’t really have direct replacements in plant products. What makes it worse is that meat consumption here tends to be big farm cattle rather than the wide variety it is, and that most Americans shun organ meat.
In the case of said duck, you can get a fairly good amount of high flavor and high impact food to use sparingly from a single roast. Doing a confit of the legs will let the meat keep for months where you can use small portions of it to spice up food. The fat is amazing for eggs, fries, whatever you would like. The livers make for good pate. Keep the carcass and boil the fuck out of it for a very nice (if greasy and heavy) broth you can thin out later.
If I cut animal products out of my diet I feel really sick after a while. Though I only really eat them one meal a day. Plus anybody who says you shouldn’t eat omega-3 rich salmon is fucking full of shit.
geg6
@efgoldman:
Yes, this.
Suzanne
I totally just ate some chicken souvlaki. It was delicious.