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Open Thread

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If you keep chickens, you damn well better have a good quiche recipe to deal with the onslaught of eggs:

quiche

I’ve got the quiche covered, but I’ve never had much success with homemade pie crusts, either due to this damnable climate or my own ineptitude as a baker. We can’t all be TaMara or JeffreyWW.

When I was making this quiche using a frozen crust, I thawed it out for a bit and then put it in the oven to pre-bake. I know you’re supposed to use pie weights or dried beans or something to keep the crust from puffing up, but I never bother with that; I just squish it back down when I take it out of the oven.

Well, when it came time to remove the crust from the oven, I couldn’t lay hands on a potholder (the mister had them all outside for some reason), so I used a dish towel to grab it. I lost my grip momentarily, tilting the pie plate at a 45-degree angle.

I thought the crust would cling to the goddamned aluminum, but no: It flew out and shattered into a gazillion globs in the bottom of my oven. Luckily, I had a shop vac handy because we’re still completing our interminable home renovations, so I was able to use it to suck up most of the half-raw dough before it petrified into oven-floor biscuit/pucks.

Fortunately, those frozen crusts come in packets of two. Please feel free to share crust recipes or discuss whatever.

Reader Interactions

79Comments

  9. 9.

    Yatsuno

    I consider myself a decent cook Betty, yet I cannot for the life of me do pie crust to save my life. I’ve done every. single. trick. out there and they still turn out flat. I think it’s genetic, my mom is the same way. But I figure this is why the FSM gave us grocery stores.

    @mawado: The Julia Child trick is vodka. MikeJ says it works for him but I think he’s funning.

  13. 13.

    Mnemosyne

    So, my mom has decided not to come out to California for Christmas and instead stay home with my dad’s ashes. (Not a joke.) I am not happy about this, but short of flying to Phoenix, dragging her out of her house, and forcibly putting her on the plane, there’s not much I can do.

    In baking news, I’m going to try and make figgy pudding tonight for tomorrow’s office potluck. I’ll let all y’all know how it turns out.

  16. 16.

    MattF

    My kitchen news is that the ceramic knives I ordered last week will be arriving today or tomorrow. Bought a good (but not ridiculously expensive) steel knife about a year ago, so I’ve gained enough knife skills that think I can avoid getting visible amounts of blood in the salad. But any additional advice would be welcome.

  17. 17.

    scav

    @Mnemosyne: Holidays are emotionally complicated enough for many people trying to live up to and live out everyone’s expectation of what they (both holiday and holiday maker) should be and seem to be. Add the stresses and expectations of mourning on top of that? I can understand hiding out personally, but that’s without knowing your mom.
    Pie crusts are equally complicated, but I find the roll-out premade crusts (they’ve got some at TJ’s) preferable to the ones in their own pie tins. Used to be better at making them and worse at making rice. Oddest swap of talents I can think of.

  18. 18.

    MazeDancer

    Frittata is the answer. Frittata is basically a quiche without crust.

    Besides the talented Tamara and Jeffrey, here are just a few other good foodie resources, linked to one of their frittata recipes

    101 Cookbooks

    Cannelle & Vanille

    Won’t link because FYWP will mod me for too many links – but try Gluten Free Girl .com – she has many frittata’s. The foodie hang out – Food52 . com full of eggy thoughts. And Deborah Madison, the vegetarian guru of Santa Fe (her latest book Vegetarian Literacy is a gorgeous giftable if anyone needs a suggestion. The links above also have lovely books as well.) Search “deborah madison frittata” and many yummy ideas appear.

  19. 19.

    Betty Cracker

    @MattF: The best knife care advice I have may not apply to ceramic models: use of a knife magnet. I’m guessing ceramics won’t stick to a magnet, but if they do, get one. Keeps them so much sharper than letting them rattle around in a drawer.

    @scav: Those are better, and I usually use them. This week frozens were on sale, though.

  20. 20.

    Mnemosyne

    @scav:

    It’s partly that, and partly that she and my older brother are feuding over estate stuff and she doesn’t want to see him. I think we’ve managed to reach a compromise and get her to agree to come out here for a visit in January when feelings are less fraught and I can guarantee that family obligation will not require her to spend a day at my brother’s apartment, or even see him at all. Plus she’s going to try and call my mother-in-law and have a widow-to-widow chat, so that made me feel less like she’s isolating herself.

    The person you should really pity in this situation is my other brother, who had to deal with two crying women in a row when he called me after my mom called him.

  21. 21.

    Birthmarker

    I’ve made this Cook’s Illustrated cream cheese pie crust and it came out great. I think the trick to pie crusts is the chilling. It needs to hit the oven cold.

    If link trashes, so be it…

  24. 24.

    scav

    @Mnemosyne: Sounds like you’ve got entirely better plan and late Jan or Feb is nicely flat emotionally and primed for keeping close to home. go out and buy your other brother a fine bottle of something or it’s equivalent. Cookies in the shape of “mute” or “Escape” buttons, with a few halos thrown in.

    And what about strata for people that still want some bready notes in their crustless quiches?

  26. 26.

    redactor

    @mawado: This is my go-to crust. It comes out much wetter than you would expect, but it’s very easy to roll out–just sprinkle more flour on it if you need to. The vodka slows the production of gluten, so it’s virtually impossible to screw up. Not quite as flaky as the traditional butter/Crisco/ice water pastry, but way, way easier and less fraught.

  27. 27.

    MomSense

    @Yatsuno:

    You are supposed to drink enough vodka that you don’t care how the crust looks or tastes. Also, too after enough vodka you are likely to drop the whole quiche on the floor–and you still don’t care. You just scoop that goop up, throw it back in the pie crust and declare “Bon Appetit”!

  28. 28.

    dr. luba

    Vodka and eggs? Make home-made Bailey’s.

    4 eggs
    1 can sweetened condensed milk
    1 cup half and half
    2T chocolate syrup
    2 t instant coffee
    1 t vanilla
    1/2 t almond extract

    Blend in blender until well mixed. Add vodka to taste–I use about 1 cup in a quart jar with the mixture above. It makes a bit more than this.

    (Use the cheapest vodka you can find–Kamchatka, Popov–don’t waste the good stuff.)

    The vodka preserves the mixture, doesn’t even need refrigeration.

    All my neighbors, friends and the mail carrier get quarts for Christmas.

  29. 29.

    ruemara

    Crusts are really easy. Just keep it cool, roll flat, chill. In a pinch, you can use a pizza crust dough too. Or create a press crust, like a cookie crust but I’ve done one with grated cauliflower.

  31. 31.

    Karla

    Like some others above, I don’t bother with crusts for veggie-egg-cheese pies. I butter a glass pie dish, place a couple cups of cooked or finely chopped vegetables (depending on the vegetables) in it, pour over that a mixture of four eggs and about half a cup of cottage cheese (and perhaps some herbs and more cheese that I have around), top with more cheese, and bake at 350°F for 30 minutes. It turns out fine.

  34. 34.

    Aji

    My pie crust is absolutely no-fail. Four ingredients; that’s it. Can’t louse it up, believe me. The trick is that you have to use lard – NOT shortening. Yeah, you can use butter, but it has to be real butter, not that inorganic crap [or, heaven forbid, margarine (shudder)], which is expensive and not as easy to work with.

    Want it?

  35. 35.

    shelly

    Re: the next post.

    Obama shaking Raul Castro’s hand is why we can’t have GOOD PIE CRUSTS!
    *********

    I’m a lousy pastry cook too. The frozen crust slabs are a god-send. But I’ve heard good things about the Cook’s Illustrated recipe that includes cream cheese. And yeah, chill it at least 20 minutes before sliding into hot oven.

  36. 36.

    beergoggles

    I’m a big fan of the paleo pie crust because it’s low carb and also because I’ve found it impossible to screw it up and turns up the same way no matter the weather. Tastes better than regular flour based crust too.

  37. 37.

    aimai

    OK, I resonate with this entire post. I emerged from Sur le Table a year or so ago with so much pie paraphernalia (also called pie paraphilia) that I looked like Kevin Costner in Tin Cup when he tries every home made remedy to cure the yips. This is when I realized that pie making is, for women, like either 1) Moby Dick to Ahab or 2) Special Golf Tools to weekend golf players.

    After a major crisis of faith I have at least finally mastered an easy Pate Sucre recipe (a sweet short pastry crust) that I got out of one of Jamie Oliver’s cookbooks.

    This is literally the easiest to make and handle of all time. You make it in the cuisneart, you barely touch it bringing it together, you chill or freeze it in a log shape and you simply slice it and press it into the pan before blind baking it. It comes out like a perfect short crust cookie/pastry. I have made it three times in the last two weeks as a crust for a killer pumpkin pie (I pressed the crust into a tart pan and then pressed ground ginger snaps into the base) and now I just decided to unillaterally add a random 1/2 cup of ground pistachios to the base, treating it just like a cookie, and an extra egg yolk and I made an incredible nut crust for a poached apricot and cream tart.

    I won’t bother looking any farther–I mean, its not a Julia Child’s stern and temperamental Pate Brise like my mother tried to teach me to make, and its not for every kind of pie, but for blind baked fruit tarts and half baked (as it were) cream or pudding style tarts? Its killer.

  38. 38.

    elmo

    When we were getting 18 eggs a day from our backyard chickens, my go-to was homemade ice cream. It takes a LOT of eggs, and turns out like the most amazing fudgy dark chocolate custard. Yum to the 10th power.

    Also brioche uses a lot of eggs, and my wife likes to make that.

    And to all you pink salt haters, I’m embarrassed to admit it but my wife made me buy some in Costco the other day, and we did a blind taste test. Damn if I don’t really like the stuff! It’s way saltier than the sea salt I normally cook with, so it’s perfect for a baked potato or spinach or other salt sucker. I know! I know! I whined and cried in Costco that she was making me buy pretentious McMegan salt, and she had no idea what that meant and basically said, “Suck it up, I want to try this.”

  39. 39.

    Keith G

    If you have Amazon Prime, you can stream the entire back catalog of Julia Child. I just watched her show on omelets yesterday. If I had an onslaught of eggs, I would work on her techniques all day.

    Bon Appetit.

  40. 40.

    Quicksand

    My wife was diagnosed with celiac this year – so this means no gluten, no wheat.

    In order to avoid a kitchen catastrophe of the highest order, I decided to go with pre-made frozen gluten-free pie crusts this year, rather than experimenting (and having poor results) during the holidays. So I got a package of the “Wholly Wholesome” brand crusts and made some pies.

    Let me tell you, the portion of the crust that resides inside the pie – the bottom and sides – was basically fine. Nothing special.

    But the rim? The best part of a pie, usually? It was molar-shatteringly hard. Not crispy. Well beyond crunchy. Like eating a CD jewel case.

    Blech.

    On to Plan B.

  41. 41.

    windpond

    Julia Child’s Pate’ Brisee’ Ordinaire is foolproof. All you have to do is be able to read. The ingredients/measurements are precise. Comes out perfect every time with no guesswork. I have substituted Crisco or shortening with Coconut Oil. I make several batches, form them into discs, wrap individually in Saran, pop in zip lock bag, put in freezer. Take out 1 or 2 discs as needed, defrost and roll out.

  42. 42.

    scav

    @elmo: Well, given the pink salt costs the same amount as the other salts at TJ’s, the hate seems to be for the uppity precious meme of expense and pseudo-exclusivity as a proxy for value and taste demonstrated by miss kitchen appliance and not the poor actual salt that was just hijacked to prove her princessdom instead of the proverbial no-doubt imported, hothouse organic Duchy of Cornwall English Spring Pea.

  43. 43.

    bemused

    I like quiche but not that fond of the crust and hated messing with that part anyway. I found a crustless quiche recipe in Better Homes mag in 2004 and that’s all I’ve made since. Quicker to make and we’re happy with the results. We throw in what we have in the fridge for veggies, cheese and browned Italian sausage is our favorite for meat.

  44. 44.

    elmo

    @scav:
    Oh, I know. I just thought it was funny that I was basically dragged to the checkout counter, refusing to buy such pretentious symbolism, and then I got it home and said Oh – wait, that’s actually good!

  45. 45.

    Betty Cracker

    @aimai: The Moby Dick / weekend golfer comparison is apt. Recipe bookmarked with my thanks.

    @Aji: Please and thank you.

    @Keith G: I learned so much about omelets from JC! Watching JC tackle any dish — even things I’d never make in a million years (such as aspic) — is oddly therapeutic.

  48. 48.

    mzrad

    We’ve discovered making pie crust with the always wonderful coconut oil rather than butter for an easy, healthy crust that tastes good. : )

  49. 49.

    Fred

    @Betty Cracker- My mom made great pies and she claimed the secret to pie crusts is to handle the dough as little as possible. She also swore by Crisco.
    I hate making crust dough as I make such a mess, slob that I am. Over here in Europe I haven’t found Crisco so I use butter (my mom would shake her head) so my crusts aren’t as good as hers but I always take care to handle the dough as little as possibls so they are tender, just like my mom said they would be.

  50. 50.

    Randy P

    This time of year I usually make a flan or two. It’s impressive as heck but incredibly easy, my favorite combination of recipe attributes. Takes a long time in the oven, but only a few minutes of preparation.

    Other than that, we’re not big on eggs around our house, or egg yolks anyway. I know people laugh at those who eat egg whites, but I like ’em and when I eat an omelet (for instance) all I want the egg for is to hold the stuff together.

  51. 51.

    IowaOldLady

    This goes to show ya the wisdom of not using beans or weights because those would have been a bitch to clean up.

  55. 55.

    Aji

    @Betty Cracker: Here ya go, hon:

    INGREDIENTS:

    2 cups unbleached flour (I use King Arthur)
    1 teaspoon sea salt (finely ground works best)
    1 cup lard, softened
    1/2 cup water

    Mix flour and salt together thoroughly. Add in the lard; when the mixture becomes crumbly, slowly add the water. Quickly mix together thoroughly with your hands (don’t overwork it; it won’t look pretty right now, and it’s not supposed to). Form into a ball; wrap with plastic wrap or put into a plastic bag and chill for a minimum of 3-4 hours.

    When ready to use, spread a little of the same flour on your surface. Remove dough; divide into two pieces; form a ball with the first and roll out. When desired size, lay it in the pie pan, trim and crimp edges, fill with whatever filling you desire. If it’s a pie with a top crust, roll out the second ball of dough and cover filling. Bake according to the filling recipe.

    I have honestly never had this fail, even when I was young and stupid and couldn’t cook to save my life.

  56. 56.

    Dave

    I suggest crustless quiche

    Oven 350
    9-inch pie plate oiled

    cook a 10 or 12 ounce package of frozen broccoli
    chop 1/3 cup onion
    spread 8 ounces grated sharp cheddar cheese in pie plate
    top with onion and cooked broccolli
    Beat 6 large eggs
    add 1 cup heavy cream
    1 tsp salt
    1/4 tsp pepper
    pour evenly over broccoli bake 35 – 45 minutes
    check with knife in center
    serves 6

    This is a nearly perfect low carb breakfast!

  57. 57.

    WaterGIrl

    In my 20s I made pie crust from scratch, but I found it very tedious, so at some point I switched to the refrigerated pie crusts. One day last year they were out of my brand at the grocery store, so I started reading ingredients on the other brands while the nice guy who worked in dairy went to look to see if they had any in the cooler in the back room.

    By the time he came out with my brand, I took a look at those ingredients, too. They are all filled with junk.

    So I thanked him politely and told him I had decided today would be the day that I would try to make my own crust. I went home and found this nice lady on video, who taught me how to do it.

    How to Make Pie Crust: 4 Ingredients, 4 Minutes

    Now, every time I need a pie crust, I pull her up from youtube and do what she tells me.

  60. 60.

    Grover Gardner

    @Yatsuno: Agreed. No matter what I try it leads to tears and rage. My wife and daughter used to run and I hide when I announced I was going to make a pie crust. FWIW, Trader Joe’s pre-made pie crust is pretty flakey and nice. But for regular Pillsbury or store-brand crusts, I learned to start baking at 425 degrees for about 10 minutes then reduce to 350 or whatever. Keeps the store-bought types from turning into hard, cracker-like stuff.

    My sister’s mother-in-law was a notoriously bad cook, so bad that when her kids went to college they thought the cafeteria food was incredible. She came for Thanksgiving one year and offered to make a pie. She threw the crust ingredients together in a bowl, stirred them up, then grabbed handfuls of the dough and made sticky patties which she mashed into the pie pan. Then she dumped in the filling and made more patties whioch she plopped on the top.

  61. 61.

    dr. luba

    @tybee: The original recipe called for whiskey. I find it tastes nicer with the vodka. And, I’m Ukrainian, so there’s that. We like our meats and cheeses smoked, not our liquor.

    Funny thing–I got the original of that recipe out of Yooper cookbook put out by a Catholic church in Michigan’s UP. I put my version onto my blog many years ago; for a while, it was the main driver of clicks on my blog. Now the recipe is everywhere on the web if you Google.

  62. 62.

    Sloane Ranger

    Catclub

    Referring to my promise yesterday. Cameron didn’t say anything about the Tories attitude to the Aparthaid regime in his tribute to Mandela.
    He, Clegg and Milliband all complimented Peter Hain (alias the member for Neath) for his work in the Anti-Aparthaid Movement in their speeches, however.

    When he came to speak Hain noted that Cameron had admitted that the Tories got it wrong and that Big John (Speaker Berkow) had admitted that he personaly had got it wrong when a Tory MP in the 80’s.

  64. 64.

    Sir Laffs-a-lot

    @Betty: try a graham cracker crust with your next quiche; tastes divine and easy to make/buy

  65. 65.

    nancy graham

    @raven: Do you start your frittata in a cast iron skillet and finish in the oven or do you just use the oven? I decided to make one two days ago in a spring form pan and just bake it after a light sauteing of the veggies on the stove top. I didn’t put the spring-form pan together properly and the eggs ran out and all over. The baking sheet I had placed under it is still soaking.

    Betty, when I make a pie/quiche, I use Martha Stewart’s recipe for pate brisee which is what you call pie crust when you are putting on airs. It is all buttery goodness—helps to have a food processor. I try to avoid hydrogenated oils which is what most ready-made crusts and mixes use. When I’m really pressed for time, I will use Betty Crocker Pie Crust Mix which is really easy and good.

    Has anyone here ever made home-made sausage? My daughter was pressing me for what I want for Christmas and I couldn’t think of anything I want or need. I finally came up with a sausage attachment for my KitchenAid mixer and some sheep casings. I’m thinking chicken/fennel sausage to start.

  66. 66.

    am

    Use the pate brisee recipe in the Joy of Cooking (but usually replace the heavy cream with canola oil, because it’s not usually in the fridge). Use King Arthur’s flour (or another high quality flour) if you can afford it, some of the bleached/bromated ones will not perform as well. It really makes a big difference. This is a good simplified recipe: http://www.joyofbaking.com/PateBrisee.html

    One thing that has made my pie crust making a lot happier is having a pizza peel. I flour it and roll out the chilled crust on it, and then I carry the peel & crust over to the pie pan and flip it over.. makes handling a lot easier and less breakage prone.

    This is just my personal touch, but I’ll lightly season the crust to the contents. Maybe some garlic powder/basil in a savory quiche, or cinnamon/ginger/vanilla/etc for an apple. Just having the fresh butter, no shortening or lard, and good flour will make it taste much better than store-bought ones, though.

  67. 67.

    Aji

    @nancy graham: Not with the casings. And I wouldn’t, unless it was for freezing for later use, because I just can’t with the texture. But I’ve made the sausage itself, usually Italian for meatballs. Lots of garlic and fennel and oregano and so forth. One of these days years, though, I’m going to buckle down and try homemade chorizo.

  68. 68.

    Betty Cracker

    @nancy graham: I’ve never made sausage either, but the mister and I were just discussing a sausage attachment for the KitchenAid yesterday. He said they’re nearly as expensive as the mixer itself!

  69. 69.

    kindness

    Oh I forgot. One thing I add to my quiche cream cheese crusts. A bunch of sesame seeds. It works.

  71. 71.

    Aunt Kathy

    I always use the frozen pie crust for my tart/quiche things, and never have blind baked. Crust comes out just fine, crisp, no sogginess.

  73. 73.

    Katherine

    using up eggs : spoon bread with the eggs separated (at birth, smile) whites beaten up

    also spinach souffles

    ricotta pancakes

  77. 77.

    Rachel B.

    Most recipes will work okay; you can fuss with half butter and half lard (real lard) if you like, but there are two things you must do for Really Good Crust:

    1. Use very, very cold water, and usually less than you think you need; and,
    2. Whir it together in the food processor and let it rest and hydrate, wrapped in plastic wrap or a Ziploc, in the refrigerator for an hour if at all possible before you roll it out. Trust me, it is SO worth washing all those silly parts of food processor. It is even worth it if you cut yourself on the blade, as I often manage to do.

  78. 78.

    Rachel B.

    Most recipes will work okay; you can fuss with half butter and half lard (real lard) if you like, but there are two things you must do for Really Good Crust:

    1. Use very, very cold water, and usually less than you think you need; and,
    2. Whir it together in the food processor and let it rest and hydrate, wrapped in plastic wrap or a Ziploc, in the refrigerator for an hour if at all possible before you roll it out. Trust me, it is SO worth washing all those silly parts of food processor. It is even worth it if you cut yourself on the blade, as I often manage to do.

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