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A fool as well as an oath-breaker.

You are here: Home / His Eyes Were Clear and Bright But He’s Not There

His Eyes Were Clear and Bright But He’s Not There

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Great Jim Newell piece at Salon about Marco Rubio, nowhere man:

Rubio spent the first half of the year determined to move a comprehensive immigration reform package through Congress, putting his neck on the line in the process. It’s fascinating to watch a Republican give a shit about something. When the typical right-wing media stories would begin circulating about, say, provisions in the immigration law giving free cell phones to “illegals,” there was Marco Rubio going on the Laura Ingraham show walking through the legislative language, explaining away the myths. In parallel circumstances on issues like Obamacare or the stimulus that Rubio wouldn’t support, he would’ve been right there, promoting the myths for personal gain. What you learn about someone like Rubio when they do have an interest in an issue and are willing to explain it rather than just pander is that they know better, if only they choose to.

Which makes Rubio’s performance in the second half of the year all the more pathetic. And funny, really. It’s funny watching someone do exactly what you know they’re doing. In Rubio’s case, this meant taking every hardline stance offered his way on everything to salvage his conservative cred, even though, as his performance negotiating the immigration bill proved, he knew better. When Ted Cruz and Mike Lee first started circulating the idea of shutting down the government if it didn’t get its way on Obamacare — the dumbest of all strategies, and one that played out in all its prophesied dumbness when, impossibly enough, it was actualized — Rubio signed right up, to prove he was a Tuff Guy. He, too, voted against reopening the government and averting default.

The whole thing is excellent.

Reader Interactions

32Comments

  1. 1.

    c u n d gulag

    Rubio was always an empty suit.
    He’s just going about proving it more and more often.

    His spine is so weak and jello-like, that I’m surprised he’s not a Democrat!
    (Though, some of our newer Democrats are proving to have a spine – YAY!!!)

  2. 2.

    schrodinger's cat

    They think putting someone out there with a Latino last name is going to attract Latino and other immigrant voters. This will work out as well as Sarah Palin helped the GOP with women.

  3. 3.

    Comrade Jake

    The awful thing is that I think it’s a fair bet he’s a Senator for a good long while. Florida isn’t exactly a resource for Republican statesmen.

  5. 5.

    piratedan

    since you referenced the Zombies, was thinking the story was going to be referencing our fav Granny starver du juor.

  6. 6.

    Botsplainer

    Am going OT, but this was too funny not to share. I found a lawyer who is even dumber than Orly Taitz.

    juryverdicts.net/IowaSupremeCourtNigerianScam.pdf

    Wright was admitted to the bar and began practicing law in 1981.
    He developed a general practice, handling criminal cases, family law
    matters, personal injury and workers’ compensation claims, and
    employment discrimination cases. While representing Floyd Lee Madison
    in a criminal case in 2011, Wright was presented with documents
    purporting to evidence that Madison was the beneficiary of a large
    bequest from his long-lost cousin in Nigeria. Madison represented to
    Wright that upon payment of $177,660 in taxes owed on the inheritance
    in Nigeria, the sum of $18,800,000 would be released to Madison. He
    asked Wright to represent him in securing the transfer of the funds from
    Nigeria. In consideration for a fee equal to ten percent of the funds
    recovered, Wright agreed to represent Madison in the Nigerian
    transaction.

    Wright was at that time representing Danny Wayne Rynearson in a
    pending felony criminal case. Wright knew Rynearson might have funds
    that Madison could borrow for the purpose of paying the taxes and fees
    on the Nigerian funds. Armed with this knowledge, Wright approached
    Rynearson about his willingness to make a loan to Madison.

    Read the whole thing. It is a shitshow that gets infinitely worse.

  7. 7.

    Amir Khalid

    All tactics, no strategy. If Ted Cruz keeps this up, he’ll wind up snookering himself as a presidential candidate before anyone in the Democratic party can even get in the ring with him. And then, while he’s still trying to hack his way out of the rough, someone else will be first across the finish line.

  8. 8.

    Elizabelle

    OT: Virginians, lawyers, and Va. JDs: Fairfax County Democratic Committee holding training session tomorrow, 4-5 p, for overseeing Attorney General recount that begins Monday.

    Call FCDC with any questions. Come on down!

  10. 10.

    c u n d gulag

    @Botsplainer:
    ROFLMAO!!!

    What a dope!
    WHAT A MAROON!!!

    Here’s my other favorite part of this story:
    “Wright was also representing Linda Putz at that time in a pending workers’ compensation case.”

    Sounds like there was more than one putz on that case!

  11. 11.

    PurpleGirl

    @Botsplainer: He fell for the Nigerian scam…. OMG, that is dumb, dumber, dumbest.

    I feel sorry for the client but the lawyer…. he should have known better.

  12. 12.

    amk

    I thought he was the worst 2016’er until the cruzer came along.

    Batshit crazy in 2016 will easily best the 2012 one.

  13. 13.

    scav

    @PurpleGirl: It wasn’t even one of the cunningly disguised variants of a 419 which utterly confuses the issue by choosing another little known country (such as, well, any of them, apparently). How is it the poor man didn’t use his winnings from the Publishers Clearinghouse to work the deal?

  15. 15.

    handsmile

    Rubio’s a craven buffoon, of course, but I think it’s worth noting that what prompted Newell’s Salon piece is Paul Ryan skewering him about the budget agreement on Joe Scarborough’s morning frat party, an exchange that seems to have the Village all-aquiver.

    So now Paul Ryan, trounced vice-presidential candidate and exposed budget fraudster, has been afforded the gravitas to rebuke his fellow Neo-Confederate colleague. Newell concedes as much in the article’s third paragraph which begins “This is a little rich coming from Paul Ryan…” but does extend the implication. Like Boehner’s sudden indignation about the influence of far-right “outside groups,” a meme seems to be developing about the independence and spinefulness of GOP leaders. Yet another fable for the Village media to peddle eagerly.

    Rubio may be “nowhere” at the moment. But Dancin’ Dave will be keeping his seat ready. Rubio will soon be warmly welcomed back, all unpleasantness forgotten. Republicans always are.

  17. 17.

    geg6

    @handsmile:

    So now Paul Ryan, trounced vice-presidential candidate and exposed budget fraudster, has been afforded the gravitas to rebuke his fellow Neo-Confederate colleague. Newell concedes as much in the article’s third paragraph which begins “This is a little rich coming from Paul Ryan…” but does extend the implication. Like Boehner’s sudden indignation about the influence of far-right “outside groups,” a meme seems to be developing about the independence and spinefulness of GOP leaders. Yet another fable for the Village media to peddle eagerly.

    Oh, they are not just eager, they are happy to be abettors of this fantasy. I fucking hate the media worse than I hate GOPers these days, I swear.

    Meanwhile, expect the media to swing from Obamacare is dead! headlines to gushing stories about how great it is. I base this entire expectation on the fact that health insurance commercials are running about 3:1 compared to Christmas commercials here in the Pittsburgh market. Money talks and bullshit walks.

  18. 18.

    GregB

    What I find really rich and creamy is listening to rightwing Republican Obama loathers gushing about the wonderful story of Marco Rubio.

    You know, a lawyer who’s almost entire working life is that of a politician on the public dole.

    It’s such a wonderful story.

  19. 19.

    PurpleGirl

    Actually, after reading the whole decision, if I feel sorry for anyone it’s the people who the lawyer borrowed the money from, although even they evince a degree of greed in what they would earn for loaning the money in the first place.

    As I kept reading it, it did get worse.

  20. 20.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    I guess Rubio still has a shot at being someone’s running mate, Christie, not Cruz, but if he thinks he’s got any kind of shot at the big chair in 2016, he’s dumber than I think he is. As for post-2016, a long Senate career can be a handicap, especially if you’re best known for sadly and pathetically flip-flopping on the issue most important to the IIANM fastest growing demographic group in the electorate.

    @GregB: You know, a lawyer who’s almost entire working life is that of a politician on the public dole.

    Also, too, Paul Ryan, who yesterday called $25 billion in UI extensions “irresponsible”. He can do so safe in the knowledge that no one on Morning Joe will point out that he voted to put a trillion dollar war on the national credit card.

  21. 21.

    Botsplainer

    @PurpleGirl:

    Actually, after reading the whole decision, if I feel sorry for anyone it’s the people who the lawyer borrowed the money from, although even they evince a degree of greed in what they would earn for loaning the money in the first place.

    As I kept reading it, it did get worse.

    I’ve noticed that among my fellow practitioners, there’s an age break where the vast majority of them are deliberate and proud luddites who refuse to do internet marketing, don’t understand the first thing about social media and assiduously avoid email. These are also the guys who disdain doing their billing via software and don’t take credit cards. This guy is right in that group, with the practice areas to match.

    Probably does his billing manually, faithfully commanding his secretary of 30 years to kick it out by letter done in Word Perfect 6 on the 486 that doesn’t even have an internet connection. He’s never even had an opportunity to get a 419 email himself, which is why he got stung by it.

  22. 22.

    Steve M.

    When Ted Cruz and Mike Lee first started circulating the idea of shutting down the government if it didn’t get its way on Obamacare — the dumbest of all strategies

    How was it the dumbest of all strategies? Which party seems to have the momentum right now?

    The GOP recovers from everything. Republicans could start goosestepping and wearing swastikas and Chuck Todd would find something Democrats do that cancels out the Nazification.

  25. 25.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    @MattF:

    It’s easy enough to mock Rubio, and he deserves it, but… what, exactly is he so afraid of?

    He’s afraid of someone questioning his immigration plan, by suggesting
    “Hey Marco, how about we give EVERYONE the same sweet deal that the CUBANS get?” …and then his head will get all ‘splody-like.

  30. 30.

    Rich Gardner

    Reminds me that when I was a youth, I got used to writers like Noam Chomsky and Ed Herman carefully parsing the evidence and presenting contrary facts and being very fair to provide their opponents time to make their case. I thought of that as a leftist style of argument.
    Soldier of Fortune usually took a fairly dumb, contrasting approcah. Then, they did a piece on a liberal who was clearly guilty of aiding Salvadoran rebels (I had seen her speak just a few days before and thought she was a babe) and whattaya know? They took an approach to telling her story that was indisinguishable from the Chomsky/Herman/lefty approach.
    What this showed me was that there was not a lefty/right wing approach to argument, but styles where you know you’re right and have a case and styles where you don’t.

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