Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Hell hath no fury like a farmer bankrupted.

If America since Jan 2025 hasn’t broken your heart, you haven’t loved her enough.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Republicans do not trust women.

If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

One lie, alone, tears the fabric of reality.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

The arc of the moral universe does not bend itself. it is up to us to bend it.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

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Late Night Open Thread

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Nothing that a couple bites of cookie dough, some ice cold skim milk, and a little bit of Steve lap therapy while watching the opening monologues of past Daily Show episodes can’t cure.

I hope the car is ok, but if not, what really matters is my kid was ok.

Gotta have the right priorities in this shit. It’s funny how much easier that perspective comes the older you get. Or after holding a lifeless pet in your arms as his broken neck flops around in the nook of your elbow. I’d trash a car every fucking day to have Tunch back.

Stuff can be replaced. People and pets can’t.

*** Update ***

Can’t sleep. Here’s a shot I took of Steve not five minutes ago:

thelion

I just can’t get over how magnificent his mane is in the winter. I really hit the cat lottery again. And I just love the crazy whisker.

Reader Interactions

47Comments

  2. 2.

    Jerzy Russian

    Gotta have the right priorities in this shit. It’s funny how much easier that perspective comes the older you get.

    Yup. And as others have pointed out in the previous thread, the car may have only minor damage.

    Well, those Broncos lost at home to the Chargers. On the one hand, I am bummed. On the other hand, they have only three losses and two more very winnable games to go. Perspective is important here also.

  3. 3.

    Gex

    @Yatsuno: The exact response that came to my mind.

    Jesus, that sudden, blunt description hit me hard. But then fall/winter, holidays, and the impending anniversary have me in tears pretty often these days, so it wouldn’t have taken much.

    I’d give up everything to have Kate back.

  5. 5.

    Jerzy Russian

    I am grading final exams now, and I am reminded of something Jesus said while hanging from the cross: “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.”

  6. 6.

    eemom

    People and pets can’t.

    Yeah. After another evening of weeping over my lost doggie and contemplating the mortality of everything else dear to me, I’m pretty much on board with that.

  10. 10.

    fuckwit

    @Jerzy Russian: Cats sleep in the daytime, work in the nighttime. They might not ever get home.

    Whelp, finally done with signing up for Obamacare. Supposedly it’ll cost me $50/mo, and pretty much everything is covered with no deductible. Sounds too good to be true, and I am just waiting for the insurance companies to find some damn way to take my every last cent. We’ll see. I need a bunch of stuff done…. some of which is deferred maintenance from not having insurance for so long.

    If I can get healthy again, maybe I’ll make enough money to afford whatever the unsubsidized retail cost of this, which is like 10x what I’ll be paying. That’d be a good problem to have, if I end up having it. If not, this’ll be a year to finally get my broken-ass self in working order, maybe, anyway.

    I really wish I could stop paying so damn much attention to politics. It’s not really helpful, I think. I feel like, if I’m not campaigning, I should be just not paying attention. Reading all this shit and then blathering on about it can’t really be a good use of time.

    I remain cautiously optimistic.

  12. 12.

    Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)

    I mourn every time I find that a Scoob has died. I lost two myself, both to the dreaded Timing Belt Syndrome. They weren’t perfect- I never planned on getting up steep grades quickly- but they kept me safe and warm through a few nasty Michigan winters.

  16. 16.

    Linda Featheringill

    Sorry about the Suburu, John, but glad no one was hurt.

    I’m also sorry that I’m awake but here I am. Bah.

  17. 17.

    Linda Featheringill

    @fuckwit:

    Nice that you now have health insurance. Good for you! Getting caught up on deferred maintenance should make you feel better, at least. Good luck all around.

  18. 18.

    Tommy

    @Jerzy Russian: LOL. You might just have waked my cat and now need to give her “love” for the next hour or so. My cat hates my parents. Well anybody not me. But come into my house for more then an day or so, and she wants to be petted and loved. I like that about her!

  19. 19.

    Biscuits

    I come home after just spending two hours at the emergency vet and see this post with Steve! This must be a sign. Our beloved little kitty, Flash, had to be put down. He just collapsed, vet stabilized him but said he was extremely ill. He had a good run and we are the kind of people who don’t take extraordinary measures when these things come down, plus vet said its what she would have done. Still, it’s hard to let go of a critter who has been part of the family for 11 years. But thank you for these pics of handsome guy. Strangely, they help. ;)

  24. 24.

    Just One More Canuck

    @Biscuits: I went through the same thing with my cat (Scully) a few weeks ago. She was 17 but very active. Something happened while I was out, and she wasnt able to stand and when I picked her up she didnt meow, but just looked at me. I wrote about her in a thread when it happened but couldn’t hit the submit button. But seeing pictures of Steve and others and reading all the comments is like you say, helpful. Doesn’t make me miss her any less, but it does help.

  25. 25.

    Violet

    Sorry to hear about your Subaru, but glad the kid is okay. Love the photo of Steve. You’re definitely getting better with the camera!

    Keep us posted on your car. Hopefully it’s not that bad.

  26. 26.

    skyweaver

    John – I love the political posts here, but I extra love stuff you say in your ‘this is the shit going on in my life’ posts. You are a regular zen master, dude. I’m glad your kid was okay as well. And you are right, you get more perspective as you get older and with enough for-real bad stuff happening.

  27. 27.

    Carnacki

    If I am correct, Ken Ward Jr., the exemplary reporter who covers coal for the Charleston Gazette, lost his father in a crash with a coal truck driving in an unsafe manner. I suggest you email him about the incidents with the fracking trucks. The trucks also do terrible damage to the roads so they have to be constantly repaved, another way we socialize the expenses of the extraction industries. BTW, here’swhat I got when I tried to google. That’s some heartbreaking shit right there.

  29. 29.

    WaterGIrl

    Tears for tunch, tears for gex, tears for biscuits and flash. Tears for my sweet quiver who died 4 years ago this week.

    There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love.

    – Washington Irving

  30. 30.

    TaMara (BHF)

    @Biscuits:
    @Just One More Canuck:

    I am stunned by this news, because this is what basically just happened to perfectly healthy Harley, too. They stabilized him, decided diabetes, but it wasn’t and as the weeks went on, couldn’t stand, was just limp and deteriorated every day. It only took 3 weeks from first vet visit to his death. They have no idea why.

    You both have my deepest sympathies. Now I’m going to go cry again.

  31. 31.

    fidelio

    John, I’m glad the kid is OK and I hope you can get the car sorted out. Good luck filing a complaint on the #&#%_)#%_@#(^*#(%*^#@%^@#*%&^@#*)%& frackers.

  33. 33.

    WaterGIrl

    @TaMara (BHF): I am so sorry. Just heartbreaking. I saw that you had a new guy but I had completely missed what happened to your beloved harley, and I didn’t want to ask.

    @Just One More Canuck: So very sorry.

    Same thing happened with my dog, bailey. Leave for a meeting at 8:30, everything peachy; return home at 10:30, bailey is trembling and won’t get up, obviously something very bad. Vet didn’t know what it was but he said it was the end.

    I took bailey for an ultrasound at the university vet school and they found a very fast spreading cancer of the blood vessels; once it hits one major organ it’s a matter of days and it’s everywhere and they are gone. At least I had the peace of mind of knowing what it was and the certainty that there was nothing that could be done.

    So much loss in this life, but where there is loss there is love.

  34. 34.

    Elizabelle

    @Biscuits:

    So sorry about Flash. Sounds like you did the loving thing.

    Love the name, too. Was she a little Flash?

    May a Steve cat be in your future, whatever cat clothes it wears.

  36. 36.

    Robert Sneddon

    A friend has just been inducted into Minionship under a new-to-him Feline Overlord. Menhit, the Egyptian Lion Goddess of Massacre, is a calico tweenager about a year old, kitten one minute and cat the next, skittish around strangers who move too quickly in her line of sight, prone to investigate fingers and offers of scritches — he’s working on training her out of a biting and clawing habit but it’s not skin-break serious. The Little Green Bug (ignore the man with the laser pointer) Must Die!

    He’s still not quite re-catproofed the flat — his previous two Feline Overlords were old-lady cats (acquired from an old lady, not suprisingly) and not prone to, for example, jumping up on shelves and gobbling tubs of cat treats. She’s training him well though.

  37. 37.

    J R in WV

    @Biscuits:

    So sorry for your loss. We all share, because we all have lost someone we loved unconditionally.

    Take care of yourself, and as soon as you feel able, go find another great little fuzzy guy to rescue into your home and heart.

    Sometimes we’re ready in a few days to a couple of weeks, other times we’ve waited until the need for rescue hit us upside the face. It just depends upon how your feelings evolve.

    Best of luck!

  41. 41.

    Jane2

    @Biscuits: So sorry to hear this….it’s such a shock when you have a seemingly-healthy pet and then a seriously ill one in a flash. And now Flash can be playing at the Rainbow Bridge with my Trixie and all the other BJ pets that live on in our hearts.

  42. 42.

    LanceThruster

    My roommates cat (soon to be my cat as he’s moving to a place where keeping his pet is unfortunately impractical) treats me like a water buffalo. When she gets all hyper from string play in the morning, she’ll do a bump and run on my calf as I try to walk away to go to work. She’s come close to killing me (the literal truth) racing me down the stairs. I gave a neighbor a spare key to come collect my remains if necessary.

  43. 43.

    LanceThruster

    @Biscuits: So sorry to hear. You took good care of him for the too short time he spent here. Thanks from all of us animal lovers. We’re all the collective keepers of these loving creatures and we share your loss.

  45. 45.

    The Other Chuck

    I thought for a moment you’d figured out photoshop and hipstamatic filters to matte a head-only shot of Steve then crumble the border away, then realized it was just him poking out of a cubby hole and the fact that your house is apparently lit only by candles.

    Good to hear everyone’s okay. You stay that way too.

  47. 47.

    Mnemosyne

    @Biscuits:
    @TaMara (BHF):

    Okay, I almost hate to raise this specter, but what food were each of your cats eating? Because this sounds a lot like what happened to my late great Boris, except that the melamine scandal had already broken so they knew what treatment to give him so that we were able to keep him going for another four months after Natural Balance dry food poisoned him.

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