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You are here: Home / Open Thread: Bad Santa

Open Thread: Bad Santa

by Anne Laurie|  December 14, 20137:07 pm| 49 Comments

This post is in: #notintendedtobeafactualstatement

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@Will_Bunch Withheld publication at CIA's request — urgent matter of national security, lives at risk, ect.

— billmon (@billmon1) December 14, 2013

@ClaraJeffery Truth is, Santa is just like the federal government: Fat, bloated, & out of control. Someone should primary him.

— billmon (@billmon1) December 14, 2013

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Previous Post: « Take it to the bridge
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Reader Interactions

49Comments

  1. 1.

    NotMax

    December 14, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    ect?

  2. 2.

    jeffreyw

    December 14, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    bad Santa

  3. 3.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    December 14, 2013 at 7:21 pm

    Doesn’t he work for the NSA? Sees you when you’re sleeping, knows when you’re awake, knows when you’ve been bad or good…

  4. 4.

    David Koch

    December 14, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    Spokesmodel Megan Kelley defending her supremacist “Santa is white” meltdown last night shrilly accusing the avalanche of mockery as liberal bias and reverse racism.

    Keep fucking that evaporating angry white chicken.

  5. 5.

    Violet

    December 14, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    @Tara the Antisocial Social Worker: That’s Jesus too. Are Jesus and Santa one and the same? They’re both white.

  6. 6.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 14, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    Santa is very obviously an Obama-Statsi agent, infiltrating homes of real Christian Americans looking for gunz and bibles, and calculating how much space the (long delayed, dammit!) FEMA camps will need to process aforementioned Christian Americans (who are, after all, the only real Americans).

  7. 7.

    Violet

    December 14, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    @jeffreyw: Don’t you mean bad ass Santa?

  8. 8.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 14, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    Fat, bloated, & out of control.

    I saw Falstaff this afternoon.

  9. 9.

    FlipYrWhig

    December 14, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    @Tara the Antisocial Social Worker: Puts a whole new light on Edward Snowden.

  10. 10.

    Hawes

    December 14, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    Santa is obviously white. He has broken into all those homes and not been shot yet.

  11. 11.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 14, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    @Hawes:

    Well, of course!

  12. 12.

    ruemara

    December 14, 2013 at 7:38 pm

    I think my burst of Christmas spirit is done, now that most of the gifts have gone out. I really hope I get some cards. I don’t think I ever believed in Santa. It seemed very strange. How would he know what wanted? How could he sneak into our apartment? If he was real, why did I never get anything I wanted? Plus, he’s an adult-how trustworthy could he really be? I really wanted to believe, but I think I spent most of that ability hoping to be kidnapped by the fey or abducted by aliens.

    The fundraising is going… stagnantly. I’m stuck at .04% of total but I’ve managed to sell enough stuff to be at .08%! Not really enough for everything, but nearly enough for something, I think. But I feel modestly successful. I’m hoping to get a little bit closer to the cost of a camera in time for after Christmas sales.

  13. 13.

    Linda Featheringill

    December 14, 2013 at 7:45 pm

    @Violet:

    “Are Jesus and Santa one and the same?”

    Some people seem to think that God and Santa are the same, the purveyor of goodies. Just fill out your request and send it in.

  14. 14.

    Mike in NC

    December 14, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    @David Koch: Megyn Kelly. Can’t even have a normal name, but she’d blame it on her parents. Wingnuts are always playing the victim.

  15. 15.

    Jim, Foolish Literalisti

    December 14, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    @Linda Featheringill: Cheaper than lottery tickets and about the same ROI, in my experience.

  16. 16.

    NotMax

    December 14, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    OT:

    USPS Priority Mail parcel sent out Dec. 9 just dropped off 10 minutes ago.

    Extremely liberal interpretation of 2 to 3 day delivery.

    (Not really aggravated about it, more like cranky.)

  17. 17.

    NotMax

    December 14, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    @ruemara

    I think my burst of Christmas spirit is done, now that most of the gifts have gone out.

    Penguins will tease out a smile.

  18. 18.

    mdblanche

    December 14, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: We’ve known that Santa was a commie long before there was ever a Stasi, a FEMA, or an Obama.

  19. 19.

    p.a.

    December 14, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    @Hawes: if this is original to you sir or ma’am, bravo!/brava!

  20. 20.

    Culture of Truth

    December 14, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    I won’t believe it until the world’s great Global Thinker tells me so.

  21. 21.

    Botsplainer

    December 14, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    Bad Santa

    Finest fucking Christmas movie ever made.

  22. 22.

    jeffreyw

    December 14, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    @Violet: Naw, he’s a pussy cat. Just a bad Santa, as in Bah Humbug!

  23. 23.

    jeffreyw

    December 14, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    Oops! I said a bad word and am being punished.

  24. 24.

    cathyx

    December 14, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    Santa is white and if you don’t believe me, just ask The Easter Bunny.
    He’s white too by the way.

  25. 25.

    Linda Featheringill

    December 14, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    @cathyx:

    And the Easter Bunny is a real, historical being.

  26. 26.

    scav

    December 14, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    @efgoldman: Political corectness gone maddddd, and worse? They’re impossible to kill. Kenyan bunny infiltrators, hiding all the eggs!

  27. 27.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    December 14, 2013 at 8:37 pm

    @David Koch:

    You do have to love the entertainment value. FOX News anchor does a segment about whether Santa should be white or black (“he’s white” she concludes) then criticizes reaction from people who “want to make everything about race”.

    Next up, same anchor presents segment entitled “Democrats are spawn of Satan, by definition”, then defends it from people criticizing it, because they just want to make everything about politics and religion.

  28. 28.

    NotMax

    December 14, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    @efgoldman

    Muties!

  29. 29.

    scav

    December 14, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    Well, lookie lookie, another conundrum. Poor dears are going to have to leap to the defence of a teacher, upholding his freedom of making jokes, reeeeligeous freeeeeddddoooommming, and protecting the innocence of children to their faces or something.
    Teacher disciplined for ‘Santa is White’ remark

    The move came after students at Cleveland High School were told they could come to class dressed as Santa, an elf or a reindeer.

    Michael Rougier told KOB-TV his ninth-grade son, Christopher, arrived wearing a Santa hat and beard, and the teacher asked the boy: “Don’t you know Santa Clause is white? Why are you wearing that?”

  30. 30.

    cathyx

    December 14, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    @efgoldman: Maybe they’re gay too.

    @Linda Featheringill: Yes. Just like Santa.

  31. 31.

    David Koch

    December 14, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa1G3Y7ev4Y

  32. 32.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 14, 2013 at 9:01 pm

    @jeffreyw: How is your new kitteh? Any new photos?

  33. 33.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    December 14, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    God, however, is The Color Purple.

  34. 34.

    scav

    December 14, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    @efgoldman: Indeed, especially if the network is joking and the humorless aren’t getting the joke, and extra especially if the network probably hadn’t said it yet (timey-wimey sideslip required as Alb has already gotten to the post dealt with stage).

  35. 35.

    debbie

    December 14, 2013 at 9:26 pm

    @scav:

    A teacher would really have to be mentally ill to say that to a child, especially during the holiday season.

  36. 36.

    Mike in NC

    December 14, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    @Tara the Antisocial Social Worker:

    God, however, is The Color Purple.

    Where I live the blue-haired bigots want to have the book removed from the school curriculum for being obscene. Welcome to 21st Century America, ruled over by authoritarian right-wing assholes.

  37. 37.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 14, 2013 at 10:01 pm

    So I learned how to spell Babesiosis. I’ve not had malaria, but from what I’ve heard the comparisons are apt. I now time every day around the various medications I have to take. Big fun.

  38. 38.

    Uncle Cosmo

    December 14, 2013 at 10:20 pm

    So isn’t anyone going to repost the old saw about the dyslexic devil-worshiper who sold his soul to Santa?

    …guess not.

  39. 39.

    Anne Laurie

    December 14, 2013 at 10:22 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: Owwww!

    No more gin, either, I’m guessing, while the antibiotics are doing their job?
    (which I hope will happen most ASAP)

  40. 40.

    StringOnAStick

    December 14, 2013 at 10:23 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: I had to look that up; never heard of it before. How are you feeling? Are you getting better yet? That’s a tough tick to even notice because it is so small.

  41. 41.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 14, 2013 at 10:34 pm

    @Anne Laurie: No alcohol. One of the meds requires the full cooperation of my liver.

  42. 42.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 14, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    @StringOnAStick: Actually, it’s not the deer tick (the small one), it’s the dog tick. It was good sized, easy to spot. I’ve been bitten plenty of times before, never thought much about it. This one laid me out. I’m getting better, but it was a bad spell. I’m extra-lucky, because I tested positive for Ehrlichiosis as well. Babesiosis I had at least heard of, because it’s one of those weird questions in the blood donation interview that I always skipped through.

  43. 43.

    Suffern ACE

    December 14, 2013 at 10:59 pm

    Iconoclasts 2. Iconophiles 7. I’m keeping score. I guess you can say what you will about the iconoclasts, but they certainly wouldn’t get caught up in debates about what Christ or Santa looked like.

  44. 44.

    Jay C

    December 14, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I saw Falstaff this afternoon.

    Funny: so did I! He was in my neighborhood – in town for the annual SantaCon, and when I asked him about the “white” thing, he just laughed, belched, called Megyn Kelly “a stupid mort”, and went on and on abut Christmas being all about the “sack” and the “wassail”… funny old dude……

  45. 45.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    December 15, 2013 at 12:25 am

    Watching “Christmas in Connecticut,” which may be my new favorite Christmas movie (despite having been made in 1945). It’s a cavalcade of some of my favorite character actors: Sydney Greenstreet, Una O’Connor, and S.K. Sakall.

  46. 46.

    NotMax

    December 15, 2013 at 12:33 am

    @Mnemosyne

    Both Unas of 30s/40s cinema, O’Connor and Merkel, were rock-steady character actresses, often underrated because they did what they did so seemingly without effort.

    (And it is S.Z. Sakall, but attribute that to the phone, not to you.)

  47. 47.

    NotMax

    December 15, 2013 at 12:41 am

    @Mnemosyne

    Curious if you also like the Fred MacMurray/Barbara Stanwyck Xmas-related Remember The Night.

  48. 48.

    Ruckus

    December 15, 2013 at 1:26 am

    @Botsplainer:
    Agreed.

  49. 49.

    J R in WV

    December 15, 2013 at 3:14 am

    @Mike in NC:

    Frankly, I’ve always thought the bible was obscene, all that god-ordered murder, Lot and the girls screwing after Lots Wife (what was her real name? why don’t we know, since she was an important victim?) turned to salt. Onan, just lots of horny action for kids.

    That book is way worse than The Color Purple. Why do people let their kids read it? I read it as a little kid, trying to figure out the weirdness of the Bible-Belt, and decided the book mae them all crazy.

    I mean, if you believe everything is literal truth in the King James bible, you are by definition crazy…

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