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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

I desperately hope that, yet again, I am wrong.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Shut up, hissy kitty!

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

President Biden is doing good where he can, and getting it done.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Scaring the nation

Scaring the nation

by DougJ|  December 15, 201311:27 am| 153 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Modern wintnuttia in one bumper sticker (via):

Unknown

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Previous Post: « Sandy Hook
Next Post: The American Enterprise Institute Identifies the Problem »

Reader Interactions

153Comments

  1. 1.

    Aji

    December 15, 2013 at 11:31 am

    Wha . . . ?

    I just . . . I can’t even . . . .

    [Throws up hands; gives up on the world and goes back to bed]

  2. 2.

    Ecks

    December 15, 2013 at 11:31 am

    First thought: “Am I supposed to laugh or cry?”
    Second thought: “Yes.”

  3. 3.

    Wag

    December 15, 2013 at 11:31 am

    If cattle had guns they wouldn’t be eaten

  4. 4.

    Zifnab25

    December 15, 2013 at 11:32 am

    Idontwanttoliveinthisworldanymore.jpg

  5. 5.

    Ecks

    December 15, 2013 at 11:34 am

    If Fetuses had guns there’d be a national epidemic of septicemia.

    That just ain’t sanitary.

  6. 6.

    Zam

    December 15, 2013 at 11:35 am

    No, they’d just fire off the gun killing themselves and the mother.

  7. 7.

    Ecks

    December 15, 2013 at 11:37 am

    It’s an apt analogy actually.

    Substitute “babies” for “conservatives”, and it speaks to a very real willingness to shoot the host that keeps you alive and well in order to get your way, because WAAAAAA.

  8. 8.

    Mark S.

    December 15, 2013 at 11:37 am

    I hope archaeologists a thousand years from now find that. It would perfectly encapsulate our civilization’s collapse.

  9. 9.

    aimai

    December 15, 2013 at 11:37 am

    Of course, if babies had guns, like toddlers in the home of gun owners, they’d shoot themselves.

  10. 10.

    aimai

    December 15, 2013 at 11:38 am

    @Zam: Damn you, Zam, you beat me to it.

  11. 11.

    BGinCHI

    December 15, 2013 at 11:39 am

    I thought Steve Stockman was terrific as the gas station attendant at the beginning of “No Country For Old Men.”

  12. 12.

    JPL

    December 15, 2013 at 11:40 am

    How many proud NRA members give their new born babies guns?

  13. 13.

    Loneoak

    December 15, 2013 at 11:42 am

    Honestly, I’d consider putting one of those on my car. It’s a pretty solid illustration of the Inverse Poe’s Law: it’s impossible that someone won’t think crazy ass fundamentalism is a parody.

  14. 14.

    negative 1

    December 15, 2013 at 11:42 am

    Honestly if asked to produce a satirical bumper sticker about the GOP I’m not sure that’s not what I would have come up with.

  15. 15.

    Wag

    December 15, 2013 at 11:43 am

    @JPL:

    Not enough given the proclivity of toddlers with guns to shoot family members.

  16. 16.

    MomSense

    December 15, 2013 at 11:43 am

    Ok, I’m just going to throw this out for all y’all to make what you will of it but it feels to me like the gun obsession went to 11 after Obama became president. I honestly don’t remember the volume being so loud before, ever.

    It feels to me like this gun hoarding/obsession is a way for some people to nullify the results of his election(s). It is like putting the guns front and center and making gun rights most important has become entangled with nullification of his presidency, the ACA, etc.

    Am I crazy? Does it feel this way to anyone else? Am I turning into a liberal version of Peggy Noonan?

  17. 17.

    MomSense

    December 15, 2013 at 11:44 am

    @Mark S.:

    Maybe we should turn it into a stone tablet.

  18. 18.

    Paul Weimer

    December 15, 2013 at 11:44 am

    Are we sure, ladies and gentlemen, that this ISN’T a parody?

  19. 19.

    Ecks

    December 15, 2013 at 11:47 am

    @MomSense: It does smack of reaching for power and control symbols as a response to feeling like their tribal dominance is slipping.

  20. 20.

    mai naem

    December 15, 2013 at 11:50 am

    @MomSense: I agree with you. I don’t remember these nutjobs being this bad after Columbine or VT shooting. BTW, I still worry about Obama every time I see him at these special event massive audience at big open air venues. I think the reason you see him in the same shirts so much is because he wears special bullet proof clothing.

  21. 21.

    dww44

    December 15, 2013 at 11:50 am

    @MomSense: No, I don’t think you’re crazy. Lots of folks agree with you. How, in effect, the fact of Obama has given outsized influence to an increasingly strong and strident libertarian streak, as a panelist said on Melissa Harris-Perry’s show yesterday.

  22. 22.

    TaMara (BHF)

    December 15, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Wait…you mean this isn’t a….parody? [[puts coffee down, reaches for whiskey]]

  23. 23.

    maya

    December 15, 2013 at 11:56 am

    America’s gunorrhea is not a new disease. Go into any store selling dvds and check out how many have a cover featuring someone holding a gun. Or toy dept, even. Been like that for a long, long time.

  24. 24.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    December 15, 2013 at 11:57 am

    Holy good christ.

    I know this shit was thrown around as mockery before. Is Stockman really officially repeating it in earnest as a fucking campaign bumper sticker slogan? For fuck’s sake….

  25. 25.

    MattF

    December 15, 2013 at 11:58 am

    I think this is an instance of Cleek’s Law– It gets libruls worked up, so it’s a good thing.

  26. 26.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 15, 2013 at 11:59 am

    @MomSense: You are not crazy. Check MSM’s attitude too, they have gone from subservient to belligerent.

  27. 27.

    schrodinger's cat

    December 15, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    It is Sunday and I need an antidote from the Republican crazy to recharge my batteries.

  28. 28.

    ranchandsyrup

    December 15, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Magick fixes for whatever ails ya: guns, tax cuts, the freeeee market, drilling.

  29. 29.

    dedc79

    December 15, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Two seconds on google, and look what happened just days ago in South Dakota?

  30. 30.

    Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)

    December 15, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    I’ll be needing to see verification that this isn’t a parody before I believe it’s legit, but only because it’s too early to start drinking.

  31. 31.

    Aji

    December 15, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    @TaMara (BHF): Yes. It broke my brain. It’s too early for this shit. Pass that bottle, willya?

  32. 32.

    srv

    December 15, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    We need a Stand Your Uterus movement.

  33. 33.

    Gravenstone

    December 15, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    That’s real??!?!

    /head desk

  34. 34.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    Are comments off for some reason on Kay’s post above?

  35. 35.

    scav

    December 15, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    @Violet: They are, I think they broke Kay. Now we really need to hurt them.

  36. 36.

    Amir Khalid

    December 15, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    Has anyone seen this sticker in something like its natural habitat, such as a pickup truck bumper?

  37. 37.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:10 pm

    I’ve seen those bumper stickers on cars before, but without the congressperson part. They’re usually part of an assortment of forced-birth, NRA and Jesus-y bumper stickers

  38. 38.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:11 pm

    @scav: I think I worded my comment poorly. I can see they’re off. I am curious of Kay did that on purpose for some reason, and if so, what the reason is. Maybe it’s FYWP.

  39. 39.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 15, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    @The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik:

    That was my reaction too. This guy could actually be elected to the Senate of the United States.

  40. 40.

    oldster

    December 15, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    If gun-nuts could have babies, abortion rights would be the 2nd amendment.

    (yes, I realize that many gun-owners are women. Many fewer gun-nuts are.)

  41. 41.

    Amir Khalid

    December 15, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    Can someone lease let Kay know there’s no comment box under her post about the American Enterprise Institute?

  42. 42.

    Tommy

    December 15, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    @Gravenstone: I hope it isn’t. That you and I lots of folks here don’t think it could be real makes me think there is hope for our nation. But I wouldn’t find this bumper sticker out of the park. Easily something I could see done.

  43. 43.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 15, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    Vermin like Stockman should be exterminated.

    Along those lines, something is goofy with Kay’s post above…comments are turned off. So, I’ll say here what I was going to say there.

    AEI is a sewer. Flush it.

  44. 44.

    Davis X. Machina

    December 15, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    There’s a problem with the basic premise.
    If babies had guns, they couldn’t reload fast enough to matter, what with those tiny, tiny, hands.

  45. 45.

    Kay

    December 15, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    I know but I don’t know how to fix it. Where is mistermix! :)

  46. 46.

    scav

    December 15, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    @Violet: I think they’re off because the AEI finally drove her over the edge and my wording could be better too. We still need to go after those people for hurting her. FYWP blips are in the laps of the gods, and must be endured, on the other hand (meaning she might even know it yet).

  47. 47.

    Davis X. Machina

    December 15, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    This guy could actually be elected to the Senate of the United States.

    Under the right circumstances he could be President.

    Motivated, engaged, habitual voters in a numerical minority roll majorities of apathetic, detached, occssional voters all the time.

  48. 48.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    @Kay: Kay–can you remove the post, then re-post it with comments on?

  49. 49.

    Kay

    December 15, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    @Violet:

    Thanks, I’ll try that.

  50. 50.

    slippy

    December 15, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    The true stupidity of the gun nut movement, on loud display here.

    I’ve begun simply turning off anything I’m watching where a gun is used to do any of the following:
    1. Open a locked door
    2. Turn off a button that’s too far away to reach
    3. Disable just about any device that is causing tension in the plot
    4. Any use of a gun that goes beyond putting big holes in a thing.

    It’s amazing how we’re conditioned to believe that having a gun just means all problems can now be solved by pointing and shooting. Not only is this colossally stupid and erroneous (I would love to see someone film themselves shooting a variety of locked doors and see how well that really works out, I bet not at all), but it reinforces a BUTT-HEADED stupid mentality. Guns in fact are rarely the solution to any civil problem, as the statistics bear out.

  51. 51.

    Citizen_X

    December 15, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    @Ecks:

    It does smack of reaching for power and control symbols as a response to feeling like their tribal dominance is slipping.

    So, they’re bitter, and as a result are clinging to their guns and religion?

    Huh.

  52. 52.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 15, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    @Davis X. Machina:

    This is why they need high capacity magazines, silly!

  53. 53.

    Kay

    December 15, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    @Violet:

    Didn’t work.

  54. 54.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:23 pm

    @Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant): Oh, it’s real. He even tweeted out the slogan in April.

  55. 55.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 15, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    @Violet:

    Looks like that’s happening. It’s a 404 now.

    Should be a very interesting thread once it’s debugged.

  56. 56.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 15, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    @Kay:

    /shakefist at WP and the world in general.

    AEI really is a fucking sewer. Another group of dipshits who never bothered to read The Wealth of Nations.

  57. 57.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    @Kay: You might need to change a word or add something so FYWP doesn’t see it as a repeat of the other post for some reason. Not sure how front page posting works but it works that way in the comments.

  58. 58.

    Citizen_X

    December 15, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    @slippy:

    I would love to see someone film themselves shooting a variety of locked doors and see how well that really works out, I bet not at all

    I hear a Mythbusters challenge.

    ETA: Wear body armor, guys!

  59. 59.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 15, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    @Citizen_X:

    For many of them, guns IS their religion.

  60. 60.

    Ruckus

    December 15, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    @slippy:
    Guns in fact are rarely the solution to any civil problem, as the statistics bear out.

    That’s why we need so many more of them!!!!!

    /idiotic, lunatic, gun nut asshole with the IQ of a walnut and the maturity of a 3 yr old.

  61. 61.

    Kay

    December 15, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    @Violet:

    Try it. I think it’s fixed.

  62. 62.

    Amir Khalid

    December 15, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    The AEI post is up again, but there’s still no comment box.

  63. 63.

    Kay

    December 15, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Try it now. I put a comment in.

  64. 64.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    @Kay: Bummer. I see you were able to comment.

    Does anyone here know anything about WordPress and why comments are turned off on a post and how Kay might turn them on?

  65. 65.

    Kay

    December 15, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    @Violet:

    I can comment in the editor. I looked at all the areas and I don’t see where “comments off” is.

  66. 66.

    scav

    December 15, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    And, to the AEI, please note that not getting shot at at school, and not having teachers tell you you can’t dress up as Santa because you are black and not having district-wide textbooks chosen by vocal whining minorities with an agenda are enough of a civil right to get their indignation going. They prefer the ineffable, numinous, un-named civil rights being denied that one can attack teachers with without actually having to provide to the mere rabbleous hoi polloi.

  67. 67.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:33 pm

    @Kay: I can see your comment but there’s no comment box for the peons.

  68. 68.

    Ruckus

    December 15, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    Kay
    You have to go onto the word press dashboard and then you can change the setting for comments on a post that is already posted.
    You should have dashboard access if you can create a post. That is if BJ is using wp for the editor. There should be a place some where on the editor where you write the post that allows you to change it.
    On dashboard you select the post and then click the discussion key that will bring up a box that you click to allow/not allow comments

  69. 69.

    Kay

    December 15, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    @Ruckus:

    Right, I did all that. I can’t fix it.

  70. 70.

    Glocksman

    December 15, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    @Citizen_X:

    Body Armor?
    Shit, better use the shipping container they have on hand and remote fire those bad boys instead.

    Getting hit by even a ricochet that’s lost most of its power still fucking hurts.
    I know this because this happened to me at a shooting range when a bullet somehow ricocheted off of the backstop and hit me.
    Luckily the bullet hit the Zippo in my pocket and only left a bruise.

    Oh yeah, Stockman is an idiot.
    Case Closed.

  71. 71.

    Kay

    December 15, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    @Ruckus:

    Sorry, I couldn’t fix it so I pulled it down.

  72. 72.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    December 15, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    This wouldn’t piss me off quite as much if not for the fact that the NRA basically already fucking owns this country top to bottom and they still act like pissy victims being oppressed by gun-hating mobs or some godawful shit. They basically own 60% of our goddamn politicians, if not literally that figuratively with their strongarming. And yet holy shit, you’d think there were fucking mobs beating down the doors to wrest their firearms straight from their fingertips and send them into fucking FEMA camps.

    Just…fuck it.

  73. 73.

    Ruckus

    December 15, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    @Kay:
    Wasn’t sure you saw that so I sent you an email as well.

    I got nothing.

    So all together class FYWP.

  74. 74.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    @Kay: Kay, when you deleted and re-posted the post, how did you do it? Did you select all/copy the the text in the post, as if you were going to edit it, then delete the original post, then paste in a new page to post it? That might solve the problem. Add something to it or change something so WP thinks it’s a new post.

    Otherwise, perhaps something has changed with your personal permissions? Can you check your profile and see if there’s something there about allowing comments? I don’t know how WP works, but maybe there’s something there.

  75. 75.

    scav

    December 15, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    As one of those free-floating musical blips adding during the on-hold time as technical glitches are being worked out, I offer the latest from Pope Francis. Pope v. Limbaugh. it’s on.

    “The ideology of Marxism is wrong. But I have met many Marxists in my life who are good people, so I don’t feel offended,” Francis was quoted as saying.

    Defending his criticism of the “trickle-down” theory of economics, he added: “There was the promise that once the glass had become full it would overflow and the poor would benefit. But what happens is that when it’s full to the brim, the glass magically grows, and thus nothing ever comes out for the poor … I repeat: I did not talk as a specialist but according to the social doctrine of the church. And this does not mean being a Marxist.”

  76. 76.

    smedley the uncertain

    December 15, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    @Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant): Looks like it’s fer reals…

    http://progressivepopulist.org/2013/04/12/right-wingnuttery-hits-a-new-low-our-campaign-bumper-sticker-if-babies-had-guns-they-wouldnt-be-aborted/

  77. 77.

    MomSense

    December 15, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Very sweet. I love how kitty’s little paws are sooo outstretched.

  78. 78.

    Davis X. Machina

    December 15, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Garry Wills is on the job: Our Moloch

    Any deity worth his/her/its salt can demand, and get, human sacrifice.

  79. 79.

    Lurking Buffoon

    December 15, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    Wow. Just wow. The Onion’s been playing the long game here, folks.

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-shocked-by-prenatal-shooting,378/

  80. 80.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    @scav: Saw that earlier today. Hilarious. You go, Pope Francis!

    Kay–just a thought–can you experiment and post an open thread just to see if you can post something with comments on? That might help you learn if it’s something about your permissions or something tied to that particular post.

  81. 81.

    Joel

    December 15, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    Junior Murvin, nice.

  82. 82.

    Davis X. Machina

    December 15, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    @slippy: Kay really couldn’t use a gun to fix her AEI post, then?

    Bummer.

  83. 83.

    Gravenstone

    December 15, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    @Citizen_X: Oh, they already did that. Of course, they took appropriate precautions to avoid injuring themselves.

  84. 84.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    @Lurking Buffoon: Wow, that’s scary. Even the Onion can’t beat the craziness these days.

  85. 85.

    TaMara (BHF)

    December 15, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    @Aji: Sheesh. How’s your She-wolf doing?

  86. 86.

    Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)

    December 15, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    @Violet: Oh for the love of the Prophets… glad the kids are here and have to be driven home. Holy Cow that is some Galaxy-class stupidity.

  87. 87.

    Ruckus

    December 15, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    @The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik:

    Think it was on West Wing some talking to Josh? why didn’t 5 million liberals join the NRA and take it over. Of course it would just lead to a new org being started up by the gun mfg and those who feel that guns are the only thing between them and a horrible death, or worse between them and a loss of right they don’t really have. I pointed out to a friend the other day that living a life scared of everything is not really a life. Especially when the thing you need to be scared of is the thing that you think will protect you.

  88. 88.

    scav

    December 15, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    @Violet: The ‘it’s more important to feed the hungry than worry about flashing a breast in public” detail should right rile some of the stateside righteous too. nicely done.

  89. 89.

    Ruckus

    December 15, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    Kay
    The only thing I can think to try is to copy the post into a word processor, save and close, reopen, copy the text and paste that into wp. That may strip out any offending code that wp is taking to mean comments off. I don’t know what the code is so I can’t even guess what may have set it off but that is my suspicion. I would think given how wp acts that a link is the most likely suspect.

  90. 90.

    Fort Geek

    December 15, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    @The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik: That was the campaign he just got elected to Congress on, last year. Texas Teabagger and more batshit crazy than a bag full of Bachmanns.

  91. 91.

    Glocksman

    December 15, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    @scav:

    Heh.
    Going strictly by the new testament, Christ himself would be much closer to being a communist than a glibertarian supply sider.
    Yet somehow the ‘prosperity gospel’ adherents manage to blind themselves to Christ’s actual teachings quite effectively.

  92. 92.

    Chris

    December 15, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    @scav:

    You know what I love about his “fuck you” to trickle down economics? Immediately after his election there was a phony article making the rounds on Facebook in which Pope Francis supposedly defended trickle down as the best way to help the poor (debunked easily, but didn’t stop it from going around). Now… whoops.

    (And of course, they’re falling back on “oh, but this was ALWAYS church doctrine!” Heh. Yeah. Then why were you trying so hard to ditch it?)

  93. 93.

    Kay

    December 15, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    @Violet:

    Yeah, I’ll try again in a while. They’re trying to pull someone’s truck out of the snow here so they’re all running around in circles and in and out :)

  94. 94.

    Citizen_X

    December 15, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    @Gravenstone: So, did it work? I.e. did it open locks without spewing high-velocity bullet fragments in all directions?

  95. 95.

    Comrade Mary

    December 15, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    OT (O’Toole): RIP, Peter.

  96. 96.

    Roger That

    December 15, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    If babies had guns my uncle would be my aunt

    (because he would’ve shot his nuts off in the womb)

  97. 97.

    GHayduke (formerly lojasmo)

    December 15, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    @Paul Weimer:

    It’s real

  98. 98.

    MomSense

    December 15, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    @Comrade Mary:

    Oh, I do love him and will have to watch Dean Spanley in his honor today. His performance in that movie gets me every time.

  99. 99.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    @Comrade Mary: Aww…that’s sad. A really great actor.

  100. 100.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 1:13 pm

    I’m sitting here eating chocolate covered almonds and can’t seem to stop. I bought a bag of them on a whim yesterday from the bulk section of the supermarket. I bought way too many and I’ve now got what seems like the bottomless bag of chocolate covered almonds. I think I’m going to make myself sick.

  101. 101.

    handsmile

    December 15, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    @Lurking Buffoon:

    The date of that Onion article is April 12, 2000 (perhaps that’s what you meant by “the long game”)!

    Like all great satirists, The Onion is also a seer.

    @Davis X. Machina:

    Firearms engineers are hard at work on that little problem. A niche-market goldmine.

  102. 102.

    scav

    December 15, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    @Violet: Redirect! Redirect! Will trying to think of ways to change them into little Betty Crocker Christmas Cockroaches to startle guests with help get you mind into a different, non-chewing path? I actually looked up cookie recipes online for ideas when the cooking thread followed the story.

  103. 103.

    Phoebes

    December 15, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    I can’t link using my iPad, but there was an absolutely hysterical Onion parody from 1999 or 2000 about twin fetuses finding a gun near the entrance to their mother’s womb and one shooting the other and the police standoff. (Believe me, it’s funnier than it sounds.)

    Go to onion.com and put in “fetus shooting”. And, of course, the Onion is known for its bad taste…

  104. 104.

    Phoebes

    December 15, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    I can’t link using my iPad, but there was an absolutely hysterical Onion parody from 1999 or 2000 about twin fetuses finding a gun near the entrance to their mother’s womb and one shooting the other and the police standoff. (Believe me, it’s funnier than it sounds.)

    Go to onion.com and put in “fetus shooting”. And, of course, the Onion is known for its bad taste…

  105. 105.

    Aji

    December 15, 2013 at 1:29 pm

    @TaMara (BHF): She is doing amazingly well, thanks! She’s put weight back on, and we’ve gotten her on enough of a schedule that now when she sees me pick up the little red thing (the meter) that goes with the little sticky stabby thing (the lancet) she gets all excited, because she knows it means she gets to eat after she he puts up with the other sticky stabby thing (the shot). She starts thumping her tail, then jumps up and starts dancing around. :-D

    How’s the new boy?

  106. 106.

    rikyrah

    December 15, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    On Medicaid, Shame, and Not Being Silent
    by Anonymous
    December 13, 2013 – 10:30 am

    When the Obamacare exchanges became open for enrollment this fall, I eagerly went online to check out my options for affordable health care in my state. It was exciting to know that I could potentially afford health insurance. I considered how my life would be affected: doctors’ visits, blood tests, checkups, an eye exam, a teeth cleaning—all the things I’ve longed for as an uninsured adult.

    After wading through a sea of questions about my income and expenses to determine my eligibility, I discovered what I had not considered a possibility:

    I qualify for Medicaid.

    Wow. Am I that poor? For so long I made just enough money to not qualify for Medicaid. Now, I do qualify.

    While I was relieved to know I wouldn’t need to pay out-of-pocket each month for health care, I felt uncomfortable. I had originally intended to write about my experiences navigating Obamacare, how I’m weighing the options or different health-care plans in my state. But how was I going to write about that now? I couldn’t possibly share my experiences navigating Medicaid in public.

    My initial thoughts and feelings were rooted in shame. I didn’t want people to know my income is so low that I qualify for Medicaid. I still don’t. that’s why this piece is being published anonymously: I can’t bear the thought of my name being tied to this story. But I am writing this piece, because it needs to be written. Shame has bought my anonymity, but it hasn’t bought my silence.

    Shame is a tool. It keeps people immobilized, silent, and afraid. It keeps people in closets, in hiding, invisible.

    Shame is discreet. Using EBT cards only when you go to the grocery store alone because you don’t wanted be outed about receiving food stamps. Using cash when you’re food shopping with friends or acquaintances who don’t know how you usually pay for your groceries. Being vague about what you do for a living because you’re on unemployment insurance while you pursue your dreams. Writing anonymous articles about navigating Medicaid because you don’t want the public to know you’re on a publicly subsidized program.

    http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2013/12/13/on-medicaid-shame-and-not-being-silent/

  107. 107.

    Elizabelle

    December 15, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    @Lurking Buffoon:

    Guns don’t kill people. Gorillas do.

    The Onion, from January 2013:

    SAN DIEGO—Following the events of last week, in which a crazed western lowland gorilla ruthlessly murdered 21 people in a local shopping plaza after escaping from the San Diego Zoo, sources across the country confirmed Thursday that national gorilla sales have since skyrocketed.

    “After seeing yet another deranged gorilla just burst into a public place and start killing people, I decided I need to make sure something like that never happens to me,” said 34-year-old Atlanta resident Nick Keller, shortly after purchasing a 350-pound mountain gorilla from his local gorilla store.

  108. 108.

    Elizabelle

    December 15, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    @Comrade Mary:

    Ahhh. RIP Peter O’Toole.

    We should toast to him tonight.

  109. 109.

    raven

    December 15, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    RIP Peter O’Toole

  110. 110.

    raven

    December 15, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    No Prisoners!!!!

  111. 111.

    Hungry Joe

    December 15, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Wouldn’t it only be legal for babies to have guns in open-carry states, because they have no way to conceal them? Unless the womb is considered to be one’s residence, in which case both home defense and Stand your Ground kick in, I guess.

    The only sensible response to that bumper sticker is Wolfgang Pauli’s putdown of another physicist who’d asked him to comment on a paper he’d written: “Not only isn’t this right, it isn’t even wrong.”

  112. 112.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    @Elizabelle: Did you see this from the obituary:

    Last month it was reported he had been coaxed out of retirement to act in a film about ancient Rome called Katherine of Alexandria in which he would play Cornelius Gallus, a palace orator.

    There’s still one more film with him yet to see!

  113. 113.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 15, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    @Comrade Mary:
    @Elizabelle:

    I’m going to watch Becket and The Lion in Winter back-to-back.

  114. 114.

    chopper

    December 15, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    @srv:

    Lol. Fetuses, stand your ground!

  115. 115.

    Ash Can

    December 15, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    I saw this days ago and had since then assumed it was a parody. Good fucking grief.

    The real problem in all of this is not that Steve Stockman is a raving lunatic. Raving lunatics have been with us since the dawn of time. The problem is that he’s in a position of power, and put there by voters, yet. There’s no better single illustration of what’s wrong with this nation than that.

  116. 116.

    rikyrah

    December 15, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    “Affluenza” Judge Gave 14-Year Old Black Boy 10 Years in Prison for a Far Lesser Crime
    Published On December 14, 2013 | By Big BOSS | News, The Barbershop

    Judge Jean Boyd has been in the media lately for letting 16-year old Ethan Couch off the hook after he killed four people. Couch was on a drunken joyride with his friends when he hit four people, causing them to lose their lives. He also paralyzed one of his friends.

    The judge said that Couch suffered from “Affluenza,” a condition in which his wealth and privilege kept him from understanding the consequences of his actions. The judge gave the boy no prison time and 10 years probation, sending him to a rehab facility for the rich.

    But the judge has a history that some are considering to be racist. There was a 14-year old boy that Boyd sent to prison for over a decade after he punched another child who fell, hit his head and died. So, even though he didn’t intend to kill anyone, this youth will now suffer for life after experiencing the torture, rape, isolation and abuse that occurs in the state prison system. This doesn’t count the fact that he will be labeled a felon for the rest of his life, devoid of job and educational opportunities.

    So, even though Boyd didn’t give the young man life in prison, she may as well have.

    http://www.brothersonsports.com/affluenza-judge-gave-14-year-old-black-boy-life-in-prison-without-parole-without-killing-anybody/

  117. 117.

    Keith P

    December 15, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    Handguns = Today’s Jack-In-The-Box

  118. 118.

    GregB

    December 15, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    @rikyrah:

    What better way to teach a child who’s life has been free of consequences for his bad actions by giving him a consequence free judgement for his bad actions.

  119. 119.

    Bex

    December 15, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    @scav: Or as John Kenneth Galbraith said, trickle down is like feeding the horse enough oats so there’s something left over on the road for the rest of us.

  120. 120.

    rikyrah

    December 15, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    Please Excuse Davontaye, He Suffers From Povertenza
    Posted: 12/14/2013 11:20 am

    Dear Judge,

    I know that Davontaye’s actions caused the deaths of four people. But please don’t give him life in prison. He suffers from Povertenza. You may not know about this condition but Povertenza is an illness that people from impoverished socioeconomic backgrounds have.

    Due to the inability to access quality education and employment, Davontaye’s development has been stifled. This leads to poor decision making and I would further argue that since his neighborhood sees so much death and destruction, that he may even suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome in addition to Povertenza.

    Judge, it is clear that Davontaye can not be held responsible for his actions. He needs rehabilitation, not prison. Prison would only worsen his mental condition.

    Sincerely,

    J.A.M.

    ………………

    On the flip side, there are millions of under-privileged youth across America, that have lived under the worst conditions imaginable. They’ve witnessed murders, endured hunger, and survived sexual abuse. However, upon committing a crime, they are handed down the harshest prison sentences imaginable. As I’ve pointed out before, many youth spend years in prison for crimes they didn’t commit because they didn’t have enough money to sway the justice system or get proper legal counsel. It’s a non-laughable joke.

    If “Affluenza” is real, then I posit that my newly coined “Povertenza” be considered. Instead of jumping to fill up prisons, let’s start putting youth from disadvantaged backgrounds in treatment facilities. This would be ideal, but it won’t happen because there is too much money to be made. This is one of the reasons why Judge Mark Ciavarella, Jr. was able to sell 5,000 children to prisons.

    Disgraced Pennsylvania judge Mark Ciavarella, Jr. has been sentenced to 28 years in prison for conspiring with private prisons to sentence juvenile offenders to maximum sentences for bribes and kickbacks which totaled millions of dollars. He was also ordered to pay $1.2 million in restitution.

    In the private prison industry the more time an inmate spends in a facility, the more of a profit is reaped from the state. Ciavearella was a figurehead in a conspiracy in the state of Pennsylvania which saw thousands of young men and women unjustly punished and penalized in the name of corporate profit. -Examiner

    Most of the children he sentenced are likely to be from backgrounds that are far less privileged than anything Ethan Couch has experienced. His sentencing tells us a lot about the American justice system and how deeply embedded economic disparities are when it comes to accountability. Essentially, the poor are expected to be more accountable for their actions while the wealthy are viewed as inherently respectable (especially if they’re white). Being from what people view as a “good” family can go a long way. This opens the door for more opportunities and the right to be viewed as non-threatening even when your actions prove otherwise. This is exactly why racial and economic inequalities are an on-going battle.


    The next time someone tells you that there is no such thing as “White” privilege or elitism, ask them why Affluenza is a viable defense but Povertenza isn’t.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jessica-ann-mitchell/affluenza-privilege_b_4445349.html

  121. 121.

    Redshift

    December 15, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    @Ruckus:

    Think it was on West Wing some talking to Josh? why didn’t 5 million liberals join the NRA and take it over.

    Because “members” don’t control the NRA. It’s a lobbying organization for gun manufacturers, with a fake grassroots front group. Fighting the NRA is as pointless as fighting the Tobacco Institute was. There was no real progress on tobacco until tobacco executives were named and shamed, and we need to do the same with gun manufacturers. The NRA is a distraction; gun makers are the ones financing it and insisting that dead children and adults are a price we must pay to protect their profits.

  122. 122.

    Elizabelle

    December 15, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    @Violet:

    Does indeed look like he filmed it:

    Last month it was reported he had been coaxed out of retirement to act in a film about ancient Rome called Katherine of Alexandria in which he would play Cornelius Gallus, a palace orator. It is believed he completed filming on the project alongside Joss Ackland, Steven Berkoff and Edward Fox and the movie is due to be released next year.

    When I first skimmed the obit, it was unclear whether he’d actually filmed.

    That’s cool. I’m glad he got another project in, even with a longterm illness (so far unspecified). Fight the dying of the light and all.

  123. 123.

    shelly

    December 15, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    Peter O’Toole

    What? Oh no.

  124. 124.

    different-church-lady

    December 15, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    “Twin murders twin, mother, in ureteral shooting”

  125. 125.

    Ash Can

    December 15, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    @rikyrah: Thank you for bringing this to our attention. This stuff needs to get out and be known.

  126. 126.

    Elizabelle

    December 15, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    @Violet:

    If comments from this Guardian article are to be believed, appears O‘Toole might have shot his last movie in January 2010, and it is just now being released in 2014.

  127. 127.

    Ruckus

    December 15, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    @Redshift:
    Yes I know. Control is never in the hands of the small people who pay the bills.
    I worked for a non profit membership organization. Not as big as the NRA but big enough. There was the whiff of possibility always floated about that membership granted some level of ability to sway things one way or the other but it was totally false. Same here.

  128. 128.

    Certified Mutant Enemy

    December 15, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    A parody GOP slogan from my college days: “Nuke a gay whale for Christ”

  129. 129.

    IowaOldLady

    December 15, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    If fetuses had guns, they’d have to be teeny tiny. Also they’d need some sort of light source, cuz I bet it’s dark.

    Also giving birth would be even more painful.

  130. 130.

    Ecks

    December 15, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    @Citizen_X: If the shoe fits…

    ETA: Obviously it’s not the ONLY reason, often it’s just a small one. But bigger now than it was.

  131. 131.

    Certified Mutant Enemy

    December 15, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    @IowaOldLady:

    Also they’d need some sort of light source, cuz I bet it’s dark.

    Why? Considering the NRA wants gun permits to be issued to the blind…

  132. 132.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 15, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    @Redshift:

    Because “members” don’t control the NRA. It’s a lobbying organization for gun manufacturers, with a fake grassroots front group.

    DING DING DING DING DING

    From its inception, after the end of the Civil War dampened the hopes of merchants of death for ongoing profits, the NRA has existed as an arm of aforementioned merchants to market their deadly tools and toys. The NRA exists solely to increase sales for the merchants of death, by promoting “gun sporting” and fearmongering, which they have done incessantly since 2008 and “that one” was elected to the Presidency.

  133. 133.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 15, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    @Certified Mutant Enemy:

    The money of the blind is just as good to the merchants of death as the money of the sighted.

    Note the common thing between the two groups.

  134. 134.

    IowaOldLady

    December 15, 2013 at 2:32 pm

    @Certified Mutant Enemy: In Iowa, permits ARE issued to the blind.

  135. 135.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    @IowaOldLady:

    Also giving birth would be even more painful.

    As if any additional harm or pain for a woman is any kind of factor to be considered! Clearly you are not wingnut material.

  136. 136.

    Violet

    December 15, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    @Elizabelle: Yeah, you never know with films. Sometimes they sit on the shelf for years.

  137. 137.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 15, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    @Violet:

    You are correct. Feature, not bug, as far as the wingtards are concerned.

  138. 138.

    JPL

    December 15, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    Has there been an update about the Balloon Juice calendar? I don’t necessarily need it for xmas but it would be a nice addition.

  139. 139.

    Elizabelle

    December 15, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    Looks like Kay’s AEI post is back up.

  140. 140.

    Cervantes

    December 15, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    @Bex:

    Or as John Kenneth Galbraith said, trickle down is like feeding the horse enough oats so there’s something left over on the road for the rest of us.

    I remember that — but actually, Ken was paraphrasing, thus:

    Mr. David Stockman has said that supply-side economics was merely a cover for the trickle-down approach to economic policy—what an older and less elegant generation called the horse-and-sparrow theory: If you feed the horse enough oats, some will pass through to the road for the sparrows. Others have referred to it as the Willy Sutton syndrome. Republicans, like the late Mr. Sutton, always go where the money is.

    But one should avoid metaphors, especially those involving horses. Let us take supply-side theory at its face value, however modest that may be. It holds that the work habits of the American people are tied irrevocably to their income, though in a curiously perverse way. The poor do not work because they have too much income; the rich do not work because they do not have enough income. You expand and revitalize the economy by giving the poor less, the rich more.

    This was in 1982.

  141. 141.

    maryQ

    December 15, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    Someone is surely punking us. Don’t take the bait.
    Seriously, this can’t be real.

  142. 142.

    Elizabelle

    December 15, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    @rikyrah:

    The article by anonymous on Medicaid looks very helpful. Bookmarked it. Thanks for posting.

  143. 143.

    Patrick

    December 15, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    @Certified Mutant Enemy:

    Considering the NRA wants gun permits to be issued to the blind…

    Not just the NRA. Disability rights organizations were also in favor of it.

  144. 144.

    Brother Maynard

    December 15, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    This isn’t new. The very manly Jesus General suggested this in 2003.

  145. 145.

    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

    December 15, 2013 at 3:54 pm

    Would little penıs-havers come out with .38s and little penıs-lackers with .22s? Would they be blue and pink respectively? If the significance of the colors should suddenly reverse like they did about 90 years ago, would that lead to confusion? So many questions….

  146. 146.

    Southern Beale

    December 15, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    I wrote about this back in April when it first appeared. To get this awesome bumper sticker, you had to send $10 to the Steve Stocckman campaign.

    It doesn’t take too much gray matter to figure out that anyone who actually puts this bumper sticker on their vehicle is a grade-A moron, because the slogan makes no sense. Think about it: a baby with a gun will kill its mother, thereby killing itself, thereby not being “pro-life.” On top of which, how many women have done horrendous things to end their pregnancies (coat hangers, throwing themselves down stairs, guzzling bleach, etc. etc. etc.) We all remember those stories. When I first read about this I was just dumbfounded at how clueless it all was.

    This whole campaign struck me as satire except it wasn’t, it was real. The fact that a rube actually bought this grift shouldn’t surprise anyone.

  147. 147.

    chelsea530

    December 15, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    People’s gun rights aren’t an issue. No one is taking away their right to own a gun.

    Apparently, a woman doesn’t have the right to control or own her own body.

    Something is seriously wrong here.

  148. 148.

    burnspbesq

    December 15, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    And yet, the chances of any Democrat beating Stockman any time soon, either in his Congressional district or in a Senate race if he somehow beats Cornyn in the Republican primary, are zero.

    What does that tell us about the state of the Democratic Party in Texas?

  149. 149.

    PaulW

    December 15, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    If babies had guns they’d always shoot their way out.

    The marriage of two hard-right issues (FETUSES! GUNSES!) into one dumb demotivating bumper sticker. I can’t take anyone serious who thinks that bumper sticker is either clever or witty or important.

  150. 150.

    Ruckus

    December 15, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    @burnspbesq:
    That at best it exists as an afterthought?
    That the majority of Texans really don’t like anything not Texan?
    That rich Texans are assholes like most rich assholes everywhere?
    That many people everywhere can’t think outside their own little worlds or even in their own best interests?

  151. 151.

    Peanutcat

    December 15, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    If babies had guns, they wouldn’t be any babies . . . . .

  152. 152.

    SoINeedAName

    December 15, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    If vaginas had guns, there’d be no Rape.

    Besides, I think I could take a fetus armed with a gun. Their motor skills are pretty crappy.

  153. 153.

    brantl

    December 16, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    The differences between the assholes that have guns and shouldn’t and unborn babies, is at least unborn babies show some self-aware response to stimulus.

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