Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When they say they are pro-life, they do not mean yours.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

People are weird.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

We’re watching the self-immolation of the leading world power on a level unprecedented in human history.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / And all through my coffee break time

And all through my coffee break time

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I’m very busy this week, and when I get busy, I like to relax by reading about crazy things that wingers are doing. Like this:

LUMAYE (a wingnut radio host): Let me just — to give an example just what the government can’t do — and I didn’t know this, I just found this out. And I’m not even going to pretend that I came up with this. I got it from Dr. Brannon. Stevie Wonder was given an award the other day. Right? By the president of the United —

BRANNON (a wingnut candidate for Senate): Well, he was there, yeah, for the Burt Bacharach award. Burt Bacharach got a medal for the “king of music.”

LUMAYE: Oh, it was Burt Bacharach. For the “king of music” or whatever it is.

BRANNON: And I just — and this is a small token. I’m not saying nothing wrong with that. I love Stevie’s music and all that stuff. But in Article I, Section 9 of the Constitution it says there shall be no titles of nobility given.

Reminds me a little of the Seinfeld World’s Greatest Dad episode. And, yeah, it’s nitpicking but the Brannon could become Senator in 2014.

Reader Interactions

83Comments

  3. 3.

    Chyron HR

    Stevie Wonder was given an award the other day. Right? Oh, it was Burt Bacharach.

    Would you believe… Rupert Holmes?

  6. 6.

    KG

    @BGinCHI: Elvis was king, then abdicated (he’s not dead, he actually owns three Dunkin Donuts in northern Arkansas), then Michael Jackson was king, but he died… a great council has been called to name the new king, because the only Tagaryen left is on the Wall because we have nothing else to do.

  7. 7.

    jl

    For a week or so, what with true fact problem of difficult roll out of ACA website, I thought reactionaries would have a real reality-based, and actual substantive issue to wave around.

    Silly me! What was I thinking?

    ‘Santa is really a White Man, IS TOO IS TOO!’ seems to be new crusade of wingnuts. And I see in TPM that NH GOPer is screaming violent armed revolt, because Scott Brown is a RINO and might get involved in NH politics.

    They are lunatics, and losers.

    Edit: And weeping John’s tough guy routine lasted two days. GOP debt crisis gang announced it is up and running again. Whee!

  9. 9.

    scav

    Oohhhh, but what about all those czars the presidents been sneaking into these Uuuuuuunited States governaments — haelp! they’re everywhere!

  10. 10.

    KG

    Ok, by the way, what I really love is it’s “for the king of music, or whatever it is” which then follows, the constitution says “no titles of nobility.” Sweet bloody Jeebus on a bender… an award that has been given out since 2007 is not a title of nobility.

  11. 11.

    Southern Beale

    But in Article I, Section 9 of the Constitution it says there shall be no titles of nobility given.

    Right, and all of those Czars Obummer apppointed are totally not constitutional! IMPEACH!

    Jesus. And so it goes. Before the internet these people blabbered on the far corners of the AM dial to an audience of dozens. Now it’s everywhere.

  14. 14.

    Felonius Monk

    when I get busy, I like to take short time-outs where I relieve stress by reading about crazy things that wingers are doing

    DougJ, I think you may be in need of psychiatric or at least psychological counseling if this is your method of relieving stress — most would term this behavior as masochistic.

    OTOH, that piece does seem somewhat comedic, so perhaps it is a stress reliever after all.

  19. 19.

    MikeJ

    Bono, one of only 76 people ever awarded Freedom of the City of Dublin, immediately starting grazing sheep on public property as was his right.

    Perhaps the wingnuts are afraid that Stevie Wonder will be presented a Duchy and it will include their homes? If so, will we have to call him Sir Duke?

  23. 23.

    ET

    These dudes are freaking morons. Sadly, the people who listen to them are, if it can believed, bigger morons.

    Burt Bacharach was given the Gershwin Prize which is actually an award from the Library of Congress and is a relatively new award.

    Bacharach was given it in 2012 and Stevie Wonder in 2009 (and was the second awardee).

    Since this award was first given in out in 2008 there is usually some White House performance that goes with it. Obama doesn’t give out this so much as host the performance which is then televised on PBS.

  24. 24.

    Another Holocene Human

    A title is a title TO LAND. By their paranoid logic let’s get the Supreme Court for allowing “property value” eminent domain proceedings that would let developers use the power of the state to obtain title to land–grants and rents ahoy!–so they could develop it at personal profit.

    Hey wingers, I think you actually have a point (by accident, and not really)!

  25. 25.

    The Red Pen

    There is a fringe (even by wingnut standards) belief the the real 13th Amendment to the Constitution was an amendment forbidding any royal titles. I think that this was proposed, and that some people printed versions of the Constitution containing this amendment, but the amendment never really got off the ground.

    Nevertheless, through tortured wingnut logic, these “thirteenthers” somehow argue that this invalidates the actual 13th Amendment. Hilarity ensues.

    Also, too, this:

    Youngest Obama Daughter’s Real Name NOT ‘Sasha’, but Soviet/Russian ‘Natasha’…

    I think you can tell true wingnut stupid because it’s so stupid that you couldn’t possibly have imagined it.

    P.S. Do not skip the comments.

  26. 26.

    MikeJ

    @ET: No, no, no. Don’t confuse us with facts. Stevie Wonder is going to start exercising droit du seigneur and spoiling all those white women forever.

  27. 27.

    Another Holocene Human

    @ET: Culture offends them unless somebody is making a buck off of it.

    If not the performer, then the paranoid’s newsletters: MILEY CYRUS GAY MARRIAGE KILL YOUR PARENTS. Family values are under attack. Give generously now!

  30. 30.

    Omnes Omnibus

    In fact, Bacharach and his longtime lyricist, Hal David, were awarded the Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song. In his remarks, President Obama called them “two kings of songwriting.”

    Good lord. Oops, now I’ve gone and done it too.

  31. 31.

    Suffern ACE

    So if I’m following this, they are upset that Stevie Wonder was given the Gershwin prize in 2009 and that Obama is going to be at an award ceremony? Does the thing even come with a crown or sceptre?

  32. 32.

    different-church-lady

    As far as peerages that are still available, perhaps Brannon could receive the Dukedom of Derp.

  35. 35.

    Amir Khalid

    @The Red Pen:
    I like how this nutter seems unaware that all kinds of people — yes, even conservatives! — do give their kids formal first names, and then shorten those names for everyday use.

  42. 42.

    Hill Dweller

    A wingnut and Bush flunky, Judge Richard Leon, ruled for the plaintiff, noted wingnut, crackpot and WND columnist Larry Klayman, in the NSA case. Although he stayed his ruling.

    If the wingnuts can help rein in the NSA, I’m all for it. But I doubt any of this would be happening if a Republican was in the WH.

  43. 43.

    Socoolsofresh

    Oh, but the NSA lawsuit was brought up by a notorious Obama hater, so BOO!! Activist judge!!

  45. 45.

    Mnemosyne

    @Hill Dweller:

    The lawsuit was brought by conservative legal activist Larry Klayman. In the past year, Klayman has sought to have President Barack Obama’s name removed from Florida’s presidential ballot, on the grounds that he is not a natural-born citizen. The lawsuit was thrown out. He’s also the man who, during the government shutdown earlier this year, urged a “second American nonviolent revolution” against the Obama administration. (emphasis mine)

    So a crank won one of his crank lawsuits. Whoopee.

    Though it is fascinating that the purported far left will jump on any anti-Obama bandwagon that comes along, no matter who’s driving it.

  46. 46.

    Mnemosyne

    @Socoolsofresh:

    Not just a notorious Obama hater — a serial filer of crank lawsuits:

    Following Klayman’s behavior in a 1992 trial in California federal court, Judge William Keller barred Klayman from his courtroom for life; five years later, in a separate case in New York, Klayman’s behavior led then district judge Denny Chin to issue a lifetime ban on the attorney practicing law before him.

    In April 2011, Klayman filed a lawsuit against Facebook, accusing the social media website of “negligence” for not responding quickly enough to calls to take down an anti-Israel “Third Intifada” page and demanding $1 billion in damages. Facebook representatives responded that the suit was “without merit.” In December 2012, the district court dismissed the complaint on 47 U.S.C. 230 grounds.

    Also in 2011, Klayman represented Joseph Farah in his defamation lawsuit against Esquire magazine. A federal district judge dismissed the suit, and the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit affirmed the dismissal.

    But, hey, he did something that a quick scan of the headlines led you to believe was on the right side, so now he’s a Genuine Hero whose past actions can never be mentioned.

  49. 49.

    different-church-lady

    @Socoolsofresh: When you’re done, I might say something like, “Good to hear the courts rule on something, instead of hearing a bunch of opinion.” But I don’t want to interrupt, so you just finish up.

  50. 50.

    Hill Dweller

    @Socoolsofresh: If this reins in the the NSA, I’ll be thrilled. But let’s not pretend this ruling has anything to do with civil rights.

    Both the judge(heavily involved in Iran-Contra and Whitewater for Republicans) and plaintiff(wingnut who publicly calls Obama both a muslim and communist) have never cared about civil liberties. This is an attempt to hammer a Democrat in the WH.

  52. 52.

    mclaren

    That makes the Burger King franchise illegal, I guess.

    Time to start rounding ’em up and executing ’em. All the Burger King employees must go. To the gas chambers with them all…

  53. 53.

    Chyron HR

    @Mnemosyne:

    No, silly, Glenn Greenwald only supports Larry Klayman in this specific instance. Much like his incredibly selective support for the Oathkeepers, or as he calls them, “a coalition of former military, police and other public officials”.

  56. 56.

    Socoolsofresh

    @Mnemosyne: His past actions can be mentioned, doesn’t mean the program is any less unconstitutional. So I guess you guys were waiting for a republican to be in the White House before you brought your lawsuit.

  59. 59.

    different-church-lady

    @Socoolsofresh: Me, I’m willing to let the blind squirrel have his nut, but you might want to wait to hear what the supremos have to say before breaking into your end-zone dance.

    (And personally, I’d be relieved to hear them say it’s unconstitutional as all fuck, if only for the reason that I could stop listening to the confused rantings of amateur constitutional experts.)

  61. 61.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Mnemosyne:

    The FAIL on all those would be every last judge not imposing financially crippling sanctions on that vile piece of shit who gives shysters a bad name.

  63. 63.

    Socoolsofresh

    @Mnemosyne: So I’m guessing you are against the ruling then! I know right, BOOO! Regardless of motive, this is the outcome. When you talk about Citizens United, do you obsess with who brought up the case, or the results of that ruling? I think the results will have more impact, but ya, it must of only been done just to fuck with Obama, so the ruling is totally invalidated. Even if it means the NSA has to eventually suspend its phone spying program.

  64. 64.

    Chyron HR

    @different-church-lady:

    Me, I’m willing to let the blind squirrel have his nut, but you might want to wait to hear what the supremos have to say before breaking into your end-zone dance.

    Ha ha, you’re silly. Everybody knows the only court rulings that count are the ones that agree with Glenn Greenwald’s blog. Anything else is the result of Obamist court-stacking fascism.

  67. 67.

    Cassidy

    @Mnemosyne: I wish these self appointed purists of liberalism would put the same energy into advancing liberal causes. Fuck the poor, let’s figure out how to hamstring the most progressive POTUS in modern memory.

  71. 71.

    Socoolsofresh

    @Cassidy: Ya, so true! They only care about dudebro issues cause they are so pure! Obama needs to brought down because he isn’t brogressive enough! Obama has done tons of good for poor people, but fuck that, they need more porn!

  72. 72.

    Botsplainer

    @Socoolsofresh:

    Why isn’t Klayman in Guantanamo already? He is such a traitor!

    Child molesting criminal, traitor, liar, thief, incompetent lawyer, violence inspiring racist…. Yes, those all describe Larry.

    He should be in GITMO out of general principle.

    And before you talk about his “win”, how much of a “win” is it when the judge uses tepid “probablys” and stays his own ruling?

    I just keep waiting for the day when Larry loses his license. That’ll make me giggle – hopefully, he’ll eat a bullet soon after, because his grift will be done.

  75. 75.

    SiubhanDuinne

    But in Article I, Section 9 of the Constitution it says there shall be no titles of nobility given.

    Wonder whether this guy ever referred to John Wayne as “the Duke.” Because if so (and I’m guessing “so”) he can just STFU.

  76. 76.

    Seanly

    So what does it mean that Carole King is the latest person to get the prize? Would she be Queen Carole King?

    If I was prez, I think I would just stone cold troll these stupid muthafuggers. They stupidly misinterpret everything he says anyway, so why not play it up a little for some lulz?

  78. 78.

    Mnemosyne

    @Socoolsofresh:

    When you talk about Citizens United, do you obsess with who brought up the case, or the results of that ruling?

    Given that the plaintiffs were an anti-Hillary Clinton group called Citizens United Not Timid (get it? get it? nudge nudge!), you can’t separate the people who brought up the case from the results. Conservative activists won a case that benefits conservative activists.

    In fact, the Citizens United results should make you a hell of a lot more worried about this case, given that cases brought by conservative activists often have poison pills stuck in the middle. What poison pill are you overlooking in your desperation for an end zone dance?

  79. 79.

    just one more canuck on a phone

    The king is gone but he’s not forgotten – this is the story of Johnny Rotten

  81. 81.

    Death Panel Truck

    @Socoolsofresh:

    but ya, it must of only been done

    When someone writes, “would of,” “could of,” or “must of,” I just ignore them, because it is apparent they failed basic grammar school English.

  82. 82.

    Cervantes

    Burt Bacharach got a medal for the “king of music.”

    That was a while ago, more than a year. Bacharach was there; Hal David’s wife was there on his behalf. It was a great evening. Mike Myers’ rendition of “What’s New, Pussycat?” — complete with costume — was fabulous; and his remarks were even better.

    @ET:

    These dudes are freaking morons. Sadly, the people who listen to them are, if it can believed, bigger morons.

    One hardly knows whether to laugh or cry.

    @ranchandsyrup:

    Not down to the bottom of the barrel yet.

    “Peak wingnut” is an interesting idea but, ultimately, false.

  83. 83.

    Cervantes

    @liberal:

    the obots remind me of The New Republic under Peretz, which appeared to judge every issue based on whether it was good for Israel.

    But Marty, at least, knew what he was doing.

    And I say this without approving your choice of epithet — Obama himself is noticeably more level-headed about the issue than some of these people are.

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