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You are here: Home / Open Threads / And all through my coffee break time

And all through my coffee break time

by DougJ|  December 16, 20133:58 pm| 83 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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I’m very busy this week, and when I get busy, I like to relax by reading about crazy things that wingers are doing. Like this:

LUMAYE (a wingnut radio host): Let me just — to give an example just what the government can’t do — and I didn’t know this, I just found this out. And I’m not even going to pretend that I came up with this. I got it from Dr. Brannon. Stevie Wonder was given an award the other day. Right? By the president of the United —

BRANNON (a wingnut candidate for Senate): Well, he was there, yeah, for the Burt Bacharach award. Burt Bacharach got a medal for the “king of music.”

LUMAYE: Oh, it was Burt Bacharach. For the “king of music” or whatever it is.

BRANNON: And I just — and this is a small token. I’m not saying nothing wrong with that. I love Stevie’s music and all that stuff. But in Article I, Section 9 of the Constitution it says there shall be no titles of nobility given.

Reminds me a little of the Seinfeld World’s Greatest Dad episode. And, yeah, it’s nitpicking but the Brannon could become Senator in 2014.

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Reader Interactions

83Comments

  1. 1.

    BGinCHI

    December 16, 2013 at 4:00 pm

    Guy doesn’t know Elvis is already the King?

    Dumbass.

  2. 2.

    ruemara

    December 16, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    Do these people not have anything useful to do?

  3. 3.

    Chyron HR

    December 16, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    Stevie Wonder was given an award the other day. Right? Oh, it was Burt Bacharach.

    Would you believe… Rupert Holmes?

  4. 4.

    raven

    December 16, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    You can hear the Grand Ol’ Opry in Nashville Tennessee
    It’s the home of country music,on that we all agree
    But when you cross that ol’ Red River hoss that just don’t mean a thing
    Cause’ once you’re down in Texas,Bob Wills is still the king

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxHu_71sU1E

  5. 5.

    Citizen_X

    December 16, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    Screamin’ Lord Sutch doesn’t count because he’s British, right?

  6. 6.

    KG

    December 16, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    @BGinCHI: Elvis was king, then abdicated (he’s not dead, he actually owns three Dunkin Donuts in northern Arkansas), then Michael Jackson was king, but he died… a great council has been called to name the new king, because the only Tagaryen left is on the Wall because we have nothing else to do.

  7. 7.

    jl

    December 16, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    For a week or so, what with true fact problem of difficult roll out of ACA website, I thought reactionaries would have a real reality-based, and actual substantive issue to wave around.

    Silly me! What was I thinking?

    ‘Santa is really a White Man, IS TOO IS TOO!’ seems to be new crusade of wingnuts. And I see in TPM that NH GOPer is screaming violent armed revolt, because Scott Brown is a RINO and might get involved in NH politics.

    They are lunatics, and losers.

    Edit: And weeping John’s tough guy routine lasted two days. GOP debt crisis gang announced it is up and running again. Whee!

  8. 8.

    raven

    December 16, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    MY GOD Mick sangin Bob Wills is Still the King!

  9. 9.

    scav

    December 16, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    Oohhhh, but what about all those czars the presidents been sneaking into these Uuuuuuunited States governaments — haelp! they’re everywhere!

  10. 10.

    KG

    December 16, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    Ok, by the way, what I really love is it’s “for the king of music, or whatever it is” which then follows, the constitution says “no titles of nobility.” Sweet bloody Jeebus on a bender… an award that has been given out since 2007 is not a title of nobility.

  11. 11.

    Southern Beale

    December 16, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    But in Article I, Section 9 of the Constitution it says there shall be no titles of nobility given.

    Right, and all of those Czars Obummer apppointed are totally not constitutional! IMPEACH!

    Jesus. And so it goes. Before the internet these people blabbered on the far corners of the AM dial to an audience of dozens. Now it’s everywhere.

  12. 12.

    Southern Beale

    December 16, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    Sorry but Elvis isn’t King. Michael Jackson is King of Pop.

    And Prince is … PRINCE. He’s a prince. So … !!!

  13. 13.

    BGinCHI

    December 16, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    @KG: No. Michael Jackson was never the king of anything.

  14. 14.

    Felonius Monk

    December 16, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    when I get busy, I like to take short time-outs where I relieve stress by reading about crazy things that wingers are doing

    DougJ, I think you may be in need of psychiatric or at least psychological counseling if this is your method of relieving stress — most would term this behavior as masochistic.

    OTOH, that piece does seem somewhat comedic, so perhaps it is a stress reliever after all.

  15. 15.

    jl

    December 16, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    @raven:

    Take it away, Leon!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxzxH6wIPCY

  16. 16.

    BGinCHI

    December 16, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    @Southern Beale: Again. No. If you want to echo Entertainment Tonight, fine, but that doesn’t make it so.

  17. 17.

    Baud

    December 16, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    Sir Stevie!

  18. 18.

    Certified Mutant Enemy

    December 16, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    @BGinCHI:

    Didn’t Michael Jackson proclaim himself the king of pop?

  19. 19.

    MikeJ

    December 16, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    Bono, one of only 76 people ever awarded Freedom of the City of Dublin, immediately starting grazing sheep on public property as was his right.

    Perhaps the wingnuts are afraid that Stevie Wonder will be presented a Duchy and it will include their homes? If so, will we have to call him Sir Duke?

  20. 20.

    ranchandsyrup

    December 16, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    Not down to the bottom of the barrel yet. It seems like we’re getting closer…..

  21. 21.

    pharniel

    December 16, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    For your schadenfreude someone missed that Columbia was a dystopia

  22. 22.

    Citizen_X

    December 16, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    Plus, there’s Run of Run-DMC, who proclaimed himself the King of Rock.

  23. 23.

    ET

    December 16, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    These dudes are freaking morons. Sadly, the people who listen to them are, if it can believed, bigger morons.

    Burt Bacharach was given the Gershwin Prize which is actually an award from the Library of Congress and is a relatively new award.

    Bacharach was given it in 2012 and Stevie Wonder in 2009 (and was the second awardee).

    Since this award was first given in out in 2008 there is usually some White House performance that goes with it. Obama doesn’t give out this so much as host the performance which is then televised on PBS.

  24. 24.

    Another Holocene Human

    December 16, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    A title is a title TO LAND. By their paranoid logic let’s get the Supreme Court for allowing “property value” eminent domain proceedings that would let developers use the power of the state to obtain title to land–grants and rents ahoy!–so they could develop it at personal profit.

    Hey wingers, I think you actually have a point (by accident, and not really)!

  25. 25.

    The Red Pen

    December 16, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    There is a fringe (even by wingnut standards) belief the the real 13th Amendment to the Constitution was an amendment forbidding any royal titles. I think that this was proposed, and that some people printed versions of the Constitution containing this amendment, but the amendment never really got off the ground.

    Nevertheless, through tortured wingnut logic, these “thirteenthers” somehow argue that this invalidates the actual 13th Amendment. Hilarity ensues.

    Also, too, this:

    Youngest Obama Daughter’s Real Name NOT ‘Sasha’, but Soviet/Russian ‘Natasha’…

    I think you can tell true wingnut stupid because it’s so stupid that you couldn’t possibly have imagined it.

    P.S. Do not skip the comments.

  26. 26.

    MikeJ

    December 16, 2013 at 4:26 pm

    @ET: No, no, no. Don’t confuse us with facts. Stevie Wonder is going to start exercising droit du seigneur and spoiling all those white women forever.

  27. 27.

    Another Holocene Human

    December 16, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    @ET: Culture offends them unless somebody is making a buck off of it.

    If not the performer, then the paranoid’s newsletters: MILEY CYRUS GAY MARRIAGE KILL YOUR PARENTS. Family values are under attack. Give generously now!

  28. 28.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.

    The stupid. It BURNS!

  29. 29.

    Ben Cisco

    December 16, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    I see my state’s going to be front and center for the dumbassery parade all day today.

    In other news, the obligatory “Shut up you fool!” edict has been issued to Sen. Hoekstro – I mean Rucho.

  30. 30.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 16, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    In fact, Bacharach and his longtime lyricist, Hal David, were awarded the Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song. In his remarks, President Obama called them “two kings of songwriting.”

    Good lord. Oops, now I’ve gone and done it too.

  31. 31.

    Suffern ACE

    December 16, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    So if I’m following this, they are upset that Stevie Wonder was given the Gershwin prize in 2009 and that Obama is going to be at an award ceremony? Does the thing even come with a crown or sceptre?

  32. 32.

    different-church-lady

    December 16, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    As far as peerages that are still available, perhaps Brannon could receive the Dukedom of Derp.

  33. 33.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2013 at 4:32 pm

    @Certified Mutant Enemy:

    He did, and he was roundly mocked for it, deservedly.

    Say what you will about Elvis, but he wasn’t the self-declared King of Rock ‘n Roll.

  34. 34.

    Davis X. Machina

    December 16, 2013 at 4:33 pm

    King Oliver is rolling in his grave…

  35. 35.

    Amir Khalid

    December 16, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    @The Red Pen:
    I like how this nutter seems unaware that all kinds of people — yes, even conservatives! — do give their kids formal first names, and then shorten those names for everyday use.

  36. 36.

    The Red Pen

    December 16, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Yes, but they give them good American names like Reince and Newt.

  37. 37.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    @Ben Cisco:

    The only apology that should be entertained from that assclown is a Captain Needa apology.

  38. 38.

    Mnemosyne

    December 16, 2013 at 4:36 pm

    @ET:

    After looking at that list, I now suspect that they saw that Carole King was given the award and reading incomprehension did the rest.

  39. 39.

    Scott S.

    December 16, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    Jack Kirby is always going to be King of Comics. And any wingnut who says differently had better EVACUATE THIS SECTION! I’M GOING TO DESTROY IT!

  40. 40.

    Socoolsofresh

    December 16, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    Federal judge: NSA Phone Collection Program Unconstitional:

    http://www.businessinsider.com/nsa-phone-collection-program-unconstitutional-surveillance-snowden-larry-klayman-2013-12?op=1

    Such a nothingburger. Amirite guys!

  41. 41.

    Zifnab25

    December 16, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    There’s an old law that states if Ben Franklin tells you to EXPLICIT then you’re a duke.

  42. 42.

    Hill Dweller

    December 16, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    A wingnut and Bush flunky, Judge Richard Leon, ruled for the plaintiff, noted wingnut, crackpot and WND columnist Larry Klayman, in the NSA case. Although he stayed his ruling.

    If the wingnuts can help rein in the NSA, I’m all for it. But I doubt any of this would be happening if a Republican was in the WH.

  43. 43.

    Socoolsofresh

    December 16, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    Oh, but the NSA lawsuit was brought up by a notorious Obama hater, so BOO!! Activist judge!!

  44. 44.

    BGinCHI

    December 16, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    @Certified Mutant Enemy: I rest my case.

  45. 45.

    Mnemosyne

    December 16, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    @Hill Dweller:

    The lawsuit was brought by conservative legal activist Larry Klayman. In the past year, Klayman has sought to have President Barack Obama’s name removed from Florida’s presidential ballot, on the grounds that he is not a natural-born citizen. The lawsuit was thrown out. He’s also the man who, during the government shutdown earlier this year, urged a “second American nonviolent revolution” against the Obama administration. (emphasis mine)

    So a crank won one of his crank lawsuits. Whoopee.

    Though it is fascinating that the purported far left will jump on any anti-Obama bandwagon that comes along, no matter who’s driving it.

  46. 46.

    Mnemosyne

    December 16, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    @Socoolsofresh:

    Not just a notorious Obama hater — a serial filer of crank lawsuits:

    Following Klayman’s behavior in a 1992 trial in California federal court, Judge William Keller barred Klayman from his courtroom for life; five years later, in a separate case in New York, Klayman’s behavior led then district judge Denny Chin to issue a lifetime ban on the attorney practicing law before him.

    In April 2011, Klayman filed a lawsuit against Facebook, accusing the social media website of “negligence” for not responding quickly enough to calls to take down an anti-Israel “Third Intifada” page and demanding $1 billion in damages. Facebook representatives responded that the suit was “without merit.” In December 2012, the district court dismissed the complaint on 47 U.S.C. 230 grounds.

    Also in 2011, Klayman represented Joseph Farah in his defamation lawsuit against Esquire magazine. A federal district judge dismissed the suit, and the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit affirmed the dismissal.

    But, hey, he did something that a quick scan of the headlines led you to believe was on the right side, so now he’s a Genuine Hero whose past actions can never be mentioned.

  47. 47.

    wasabi gasp

    December 16, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vudUm6pJUL4

  48. 48.

    Socoolsofresh

    December 16, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Haha ya, its not because the NSA phone program is unconstitutional, it is because they hate Obama! They must be racist!

  49. 49.

    different-church-lady

    December 16, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    @Socoolsofresh: When you’re done, I might say something like, “Good to hear the courts rule on something, instead of hearing a bunch of opinion.” But I don’t want to interrupt, so you just finish up.

  50. 50.

    Hill Dweller

    December 16, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    @Socoolsofresh: If this reins in the the NSA, I’ll be thrilled. But let’s not pretend this ruling has anything to do with civil rights.

    Both the judge(heavily involved in Iran-Contra and Whitewater for Republicans) and plaintiff(wingnut who publicly calls Obama both a muslim and communist) have never cared about civil liberties. This is an attempt to hammer a Democrat in the WH.

  51. 51.

    Ripley

    December 16, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    @Socoolsofresh: Rite you are, dudebro!

  52. 52.

    mclaren

    December 16, 2013 at 4:47 pm

    That makes the Burger King franchise illegal, I guess.

    Time to start rounding ’em up and executing ’em. All the Burger King employees must go. To the gas chambers with them all…

  53. 53.

    Chyron HR

    December 16, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    No, silly, Glenn Greenwald only supports Larry Klayman in this specific instance. Much like his incredibly selective support for the Oathkeepers, or as he calls them, “a coalition of former military, police and other public officials”.

  54. 54.

    Mnemosyne

    December 16, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    @Socoolsofresh:

    I know, it’s so weird that when a known white supremacist files a lawsuit against Obama, people assume he did it for racist reasons.

  55. 55.

    different-church-lady

    December 16, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    @mclaren: Why can’t we transition to a constitutional fast food monarchy?

  56. 56.

    Socoolsofresh

    December 16, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    @Mnemosyne: His past actions can be mentioned, doesn’t mean the program is any less unconstitutional. So I guess you guys were waiting for a republican to be in the White House before you brought your lawsuit.

  57. 57.

    Mnemosyne

    December 16, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    @different-church-lady:

    What happens when Burger King and King Taco fight?

    By the way, the United States did have an emperor — Joshua Norton, aka Emperor Norton I. He was a pal of Samuel Clemens.

  58. 58.

    Mnemosyne

    December 16, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    @Socoolsofresh:

    His past actions can be mentioned, doesn’t mean the program is any less unconstitutional.

    Keep fucking that chicken.

  59. 59.

    different-church-lady

    December 16, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    @Socoolsofresh: Me, I’m willing to let the blind squirrel have his nut, but you might want to wait to hear what the supremos have to say before breaking into your end-zone dance.

    (And personally, I’d be relieved to hear them say it’s unconstitutional as all fuck, if only for the reason that I could stop listening to the confused rantings of amateur constitutional experts.)

  60. 60.

    different-church-lady

    December 16, 2013 at 4:57 pm

    @Mnemosyne: The winner gets the hand of Dairy Queen.

  61. 61.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    The FAIL on all those would be every last judge not imposing financially crippling sanctions on that vile piece of shit who gives shysters a bad name.

  62. 62.

    Botsplainer

    December 16, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    So a crank won one of his crank lawsuits. Whoopee.

    Leon is a crank’s crank.

  63. 63.

    Socoolsofresh

    December 16, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    @Mnemosyne: So I’m guessing you are against the ruling then! I know right, BOOO! Regardless of motive, this is the outcome. When you talk about Citizens United, do you obsess with who brought up the case, or the results of that ruling? I think the results will have more impact, but ya, it must of only been done just to fuck with Obama, so the ruling is totally invalidated. Even if it means the NSA has to eventually suspend its phone spying program.

  64. 64.

    Chyron HR

    December 16, 2013 at 5:00 pm

    @different-church-lady:

    Me, I’m willing to let the blind squirrel have his nut, but you might want to wait to hear what the supremos have to say before breaking into your end-zone dance.

    Ha ha, you’re silly. Everybody knows the only court rulings that count are the ones that agree with Glenn Greenwald’s blog. Anything else is the result of Obamist court-stacking fascism.

  65. 65.

    David in NY

    December 16, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    Oops. There goes the Congressional Medal of Honor!

  66. 66.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    @Socoolsofresh:

    Speaking of stupid that burns…

  67. 67.

    Cassidy

    December 16, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    @Mnemosyne: I wish these self appointed purists of liberalism would put the same energy into advancing liberal causes. Fuck the poor, let’s figure out how to hamstring the most progressive POTUS in modern memory.

  68. 68.

    Socoolsofresh

    December 16, 2013 at 5:06 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: Good one! Oh, I know right! Activist judges, the worst! Why isn’t Klayman in Guantanamo already? He is such a traitor!

  69. 69.

    Hill Dweller

    December 16, 2013 at 5:06 pm

    @Socoolsofresh: The judge stayed his ruling.

  70. 70.

    liberal

    December 16, 2013 at 5:07 pm

    @Socoolsofresh: the obots remind me of The New Republic under Peretz, which appeared to judge every issue based on whether it was good for Israel.

  71. 71.

    Socoolsofresh

    December 16, 2013 at 5:11 pm

    @Cassidy: Ya, so true! They only care about dudebro issues cause they are so pure! Obama needs to brought down because he isn’t brogressive enough! Obama has done tons of good for poor people, but fuck that, they need more porn!

  72. 72.

    Botsplainer

    December 16, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    @Socoolsofresh:

    Why isn’t Klayman in Guantanamo already? He is such a traitor!

    Child molesting criminal, traitor, liar, thief, incompetent lawyer, violence inspiring racist…. Yes, those all describe Larry.

    He should be in GITMO out of general principle.

    And before you talk about his “win”, how much of a “win” is it when the judge uses tepid “probablys” and stays his own ruling?

    I just keep waiting for the day when Larry loses his license. That’ll make me giggle – hopefully, he’ll eat a bullet soon after, because his grift will be done.

  73. 73.

    Yatsuno

    December 16, 2013 at 5:16 pm

    @Socoolsofresh: Wow. Just…wow.

  74. 74.

    Cassidy

    December 16, 2013 at 5:16 pm

    @Botsplainer: For some people, purity is more important than results. I don think the poor care about their purity.

  75. 75.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 16, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    But in Article I, Section 9 of the Constitution it says there shall be no titles of nobility given.

    Wonder whether this guy ever referred to John Wayne as “the Duke.” Because if so (and I’m guessing “so”) he can just STFU.

  76. 76.

    Seanly

    December 16, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    So what does it mean that Carole King is the latest person to get the prize? Would she be Queen Carole King?

    If I was prez, I think I would just stone cold troll these stupid muthafuggers. They stupidly misinterpret everything he says anyway, so why not play it up a little for some lulz?

  77. 77.

    Joseph Nobles

    December 16, 2013 at 6:45 pm

    Good night, you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.

  78. 78.

    Mnemosyne

    December 16, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    @Socoolsofresh:

    When you talk about Citizens United, do you obsess with who brought up the case, or the results of that ruling?

    Given that the plaintiffs were an anti-Hillary Clinton group called Citizens United Not Timid (get it? get it? nudge nudge!), you can’t separate the people who brought up the case from the results. Conservative activists won a case that benefits conservative activists.

    In fact, the Citizens United results should make you a hell of a lot more worried about this case, given that cases brought by conservative activists often have poison pills stuck in the middle. What poison pill are you overlooking in your desperation for an end zone dance?

  79. 79.

    just one more canuck on a phone

    December 16, 2013 at 7:07 pm

    The king is gone but he’s not forgotten – this is the story of Johnny Rotten

  80. 80.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 16, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    @Socoolsofresh:

    You’re aware, of course, that you are NOT cool, and you are NOT fresh.

  81. 81.

    Death Panel Truck

    December 17, 2013 at 1:01 am

    @Socoolsofresh:

    but ya, it must of only been done

    When someone writes, “would of,” “could of,” or “must of,” I just ignore them, because it is apparent they failed basic grammar school English.

  82. 82.

    Cervantes

    December 17, 2013 at 8:11 am

    Burt Bacharach got a medal for the “king of music.”

    That was a while ago, more than a year. Bacharach was there; Hal David’s wife was there on his behalf. It was a great evening. Mike Myers’ rendition of “What’s New, Pussycat?” — complete with costume — was fabulous; and his remarks were even better.

    @ET:

    These dudes are freaking morons. Sadly, the people who listen to them are, if it can believed, bigger morons.

    One hardly knows whether to laugh or cry.

    @ranchandsyrup:

    Not down to the bottom of the barrel yet.

    “Peak wingnut” is an interesting idea but, ultimately, false.

  83. 83.

    Cervantes

    December 17, 2013 at 8:37 am

    @liberal:

    the obots remind me of The New Republic under Peretz, which appeared to judge every issue based on whether it was good for Israel.

    But Marty, at least, knew what he was doing.

    And I say this without approving your choice of epithet — Obama himself is noticeably more level-headed about the issue than some of these people are.

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